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'The .heppneR" gizzard, junior.
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Grround Out Whenever tTTeMule-Power Press Feels Like It:
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THE SETTLER'S FRIEND.
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A few years ago a settler got
Surveyor Keithley to run out the
lines of some land; then he came
into Heppner and told Squire Mal
Jory he was goingto file on it next
day, pointing it out to him on the
plats. The squire said: "A-h-h,
yes, ys!" That eveing he gave a
man $2.50 d ride up anjl get one
of his own son'sto come down and
lile on the same land. And when
the settler called to file, his land
hal been gobbled. A-h, yes, yes,
yes! old Uncle Gusticus is the set
tler's friend.. He had a summons
published against a man who had
not been sued. On account of his
gray hairs, the man let him off pn
his promising to publish a full ex
planation and. .apology. Did he
keep that promise? No. The old
man would keep nothing except a
settler's dollar. Let the settler say :
"Damn such a settler's friend."
A DEAJ) give-away.
Oovemor-Rca - io-rorkiii -1 i ku
th devil for Squire Mallory, ' al
though the squire is a fanatical,
hidebotod republican and the gov
ernor is a rflemocrat. This shows
business sense on the part
of the governor. You see he
is a keen lawyer, and looks at
things in a lawyer-like way. As
he says himself, the old"squire is
easy led. So it follows that if the
old squire was allowed to remain
UJike mourrier'4sbenclvthe gover
nor would have a very soft racket
jjMjjng the o old gentleman into
making any kind of a decision.
The governor tried to get Jack
Clark to vote for the souire. but
flack, being an hbne!sfcjaf434i4
having a very forcible recollection
of some perjury in the Mallory
court, said: "To with Mal
lory !" Vote for Shobe and Keith--ley,
two honest men who ov?n
themselves.
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Of course S wellhead Hallock
wants his poor old uncle again
elected justice, so that when the
kidis father gets tired of support
ing him, he can go and bum" his
grub off the uncle. The old fanatic
is easy led, and might evenebe in
dueell to feed a dead beat.
Vote for Jim Fuller for county
commissioner. '
A rote for Bushee is a vote for an hon
est and competent man.
FIRE HIM OUT..
It seems that Old Squire Slal
lory has been really reading up on
law. So might a hog, for all the
good it would do. Yes, the old
gentleman has been reading a copy
of the general statutes which was
borrowed some years' ago from
Hon. J. L. Morrow and hrwnever
been returned. And from what
the squire finds in that borrowed
book he seems to think the statutes
give him and his little court very
long latitude perhaps authority
PERSONAL MENTION.
We are pleased to announce that
Mi. Pettifogger Pain, the sneaking
shyster of the Heppner Hills - the
bald - headed chimpanzee and
slightly-educated idiot who talks
in seven different languages and
Lthfhks in .none, has gone oVeV'iTo
liiiea creek t ttsehisimmense in
fluence against the election of Hon.
J. L, Morrow and Sir. bx. There
maybe a few newcomers camped
there who have not yefc Ffeard of
this srueaking shyster partner of
1 1. ,0 CC2"r .
to send a man to the penitentiary, Jhead Bishop. His rnnyardent
or to order him hung. So you fel- admirers, including Squire MaJ-
lows who are not well hung better
look out. Squire Mallory's train
ers and keepers shqijkl ioy set hiw
to studying up some other bor
rowed books. Turn him loose 6n
Kennedy on Diseases of ihfltfSk'in.
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or the History of a Slickear Beef J
Barrel.
WHO STOLE THE STEEit?
Voters, remember that the corrupt re
publican machine rint? in Portland have
o u tan a a necr u'-p rug i 'umme , 'ut . uh p 1 1 ir u
your votes. They have hid tools and
tricksters on salary m Umatilla county
for two years; they hope to split up the.
honest voters of both parties and sneak
in their candidates on splits and local is
sues; they care nothing abotrt ou ex
cept to use you; they started the patent
HaWTimes to freeze out afyaper started
by the people on legitimate local issues;
they.staxted the cayuse bolt at the other
end of theTcounty, and hired a pinto to
run; they are working every point to
sneak in their candidates and stealVi few
votes from the real representatives oy.the
people, Messrs. Morrow and Cox; Big
head Biskop, ShjctfteroPain, Old Bustious
J-Msailpryo and. his sucker-mputhed deattJ
beat nephew are the tools and stoof
pigeons of this corrupt Portland ring.
No free republican can afford to bend
the knee to such a set of stinkers. Vote
for MoxrivgLand Cox. . .
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JUSTICE
ORHYSTER?
Last summer an old man on Eight
Mile bought a pre-emption right, paying
with a $10 cayuse. The claim not suit
ing, he came to Heppner to enter a civil
suit for the recovery of his cayuse, but
not being able to put upsts, bquire
Mallory advised him to get out a
rant and arrest the man for stealing the
horse, as costs could then be got out of
the county. So the pre-emptor, a good
citizen of Dairy Ridge, $as arrested,
and nearly every citizen on Shutler Flat
was forced to come to Mallory's court as
a witness. A respectable manwas held
up as a horsethief, a w,Bole community
taken from home and business, and the
county cinched $180 00, all because a so
called "justice" wanted to make pajtry
fees. Fjre the old stiff out.
lory, .who formerly called him a
Imr, thieibandcJi pettifogger, wish
him "a pleasa4 trip, and hope that
he mayiot fall into jt badger-hole
or have his luxuriant locks injured
by cruel alkali dust.
Acting on the orders of their
masters, tlftse lickspittle kids who
get up a part of "Bishop's patent
outside dishrag, have rapiajak
some estracts-troin ..an. article.in. a.
rendleton paper or i few years
nQ(i and think they have seriously
injured Mr. Cox thereby. Those
brainless idiots are apt to think
they are pulling very large blood
puddings when they are only hand
ling very small sausages. It would
paralyze Jthe community to hear
that they'had ever got up anything
worth reprinting.
Look out for that amerlrneyit
racket on the bottom of your bal
lot that is the woman siuffrage s
business,' and if you want to vote
against it, scratch out the wrd yes.
PICKLED POUK.
A votefor Henry ay isavote thrown
away. Vote for Morrow and Cox.
I)j,d Bro. Brundage Steal Bill Hughes' Hog ?
Every man who has ever worn a blue stripe
under his vest knows that pickled pork, when
properly put up, is a good, substantial dish. Tie
American hog furnishes fine fruit. But in aemi- .
civilized country this fruit is not supposed to be
exactly wild and free for all to pluck. Bather is
it supposed to be a matter of dollars and cents
and trade. But according to the talegheing told
about Bro. Brundago lie seems to think a hot? is
1 free fruit to be plucked. The story gofs that Bill
W7r Hughes had a big gentleman hog worth about $50.
The animal was allowed to visit around among
the neighbors, and for many months he had be
come a power for good in the land, and at each of
hissuccessive visits new generations of his de
scendants rose up and squealed at his approach.
It's a wise pig that knows its own father. But
after a while this valuable hog disappeared. And
itsowner hasinfVmation to the effect that it was
last seencooped up. in Bro. Brundage's pen, from
which(j,place it is fv ""sed to have found its way
into his pickled inn quarrel. Now, if Bro. Brun
dage would be cruel enough to butcher a neigh
bor's hog and rvent him from returning to his
numerous and devoted wives, he would bo too
cruel to ever act as a justice of the peace.a Be
sides, Bro. Brundage, whenwriting of himself, e
spelled "me" with a big "M," and nobody but
Godalhiighty has a right to do that. Voter, pauso
and retiect before you waste your ballot on Old
Man Brundage. o
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