SUCH IS LIFE-Don't Be Silly!
, By Charles Sughroc
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CUBS GET PITCHER
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ritcliiT I.U J!n.H'l,t, of tli An
(nlt luiHtbuIl club of llm I'm'lilc
I'okit li-Bgui', W'Iiohc urrlumc tijf the
Ctil'Ki it' In lml Involvliiff
lmi,(Hi, wiu amiuuiici'd. Ttiw Ciitu
will (my f'.'O.U'O rnkh iml iuvi-ii ilay
rt Iun vnlue U uliovo fvi.oiK),
rai'dit won HO giuiici ond loht 12
luRt tflllOD.
Self-Confidence
Br THOMAS ARKLE CLARK
DB of Man, Uaivartity of
lllinoi.
Tbt siory Is t'Jd of Theodore
Itoimevelt I do not vouch for the ac
curacy of It that
when ha arrived
...lit. In ...... -I-
jt'i- i;wtes he found a
fuiilon extant re
garding the muNl
ciil program. The
nngellc Voices Were
V iC ! ,'',,,',
I 'CJ 1,19 r,,"u" thni
I jfr I here seemed to bo
1 ft '. tin ade(unie ahow-
kT ! ' U,,"N aoprn
& Jm Vi..u nos, and tenors,
but there was a
woeful shortage In Ihins voices. Mr.
Jtoodi'velt, to whom tlie matter was
referred, at once aolvuil the dlfllculty.
"I'll curry the baas nijaelf," he auld,
with niodeHt aelf iiasuriince. In life
lie had never seemed to liraltate to
meet an emergency no mutter how
critical, so why not Inter?
I watched Jimmy at tho bum-bull
Came yeaterday afternoon. Jimmy Is
rattier undersl.ed physically, but he
knows Ids bnaebnll ond ho knows that
lie knows It. lie never hesitates and
looks toward the bench to catch the
signal as to what he should do next.
II keeps his eye on the bull ; he
knows Just when to steal second and
hot li more to the point how to do
It. He knows that If he gets the
pitcher sufficiently "up In the olr" he
Mistaken
::
:
Tut DOM k t y WHO
BtlltVl THAT Hl'J
MAKING TROUBLE DY
8ALKItya
M f
;MaWfi
Lights
All u iktniiii niM'il do to get n lib'
crul imIih'iiHoii In "nirkrtx" In to
wnik up mill iI'ihii mull New Ymk
l reH li ItromlMiiy mid Klxlli, Sev
fill li mid KU'l.lli iivciiUfM. Siiiuewlieru
liei wren 'I lilrly -fourth Htrect mid
Hfty iilulh, yon will find inont of
tliein. Aliiumt nil curry thu ulr of
lelllllilitu liUnlliekK.
There are, for csiimple, tho "inov
lii; MileN," iiinl tho uuetloun. Tho
H'kmIh III tliesn (lie.ip Ulietloll illl('eH
nr often iih iinnouiu'eil, but tho cuh
toiiieri do not buy thi'iu elienp. Then
thero iiru tho lilewiilk peddlem, al
thoiiKh they uttiinlly nre nround the
corner on tlu nldo ulreeln. Theiu
wn one who did huHliiex,-, In "a witlrh,
giiiirunteed to keep kI h Ioiik an
you carried It." Tbut In Juitt about
what it did. It kept going ai li'ii;
oi you kept wulklntc. It wai a toy
wutch.
One frequent Munt la to hire va
cant atore for a week and put on
wliut li really an old fiinhlonvd medi
cine alio. In Untie ilnce the fliig
always Is an Imitortiiiit decoruilou.
Lectures ar delivered on the subject
of building li ) the henlth of the couu-
try. Then health books ar sold.
One of the bent ark views In New
York Is from the ofllee of Charles
A. Htoiieham, owner of the (ilunts.
The office Is altuuted high above tlw
center Held gule, with windows front-
con even slide home. lie has ierfect
-If assuranceperfect control of him
solf, ond I have tuner yet seen him
get caught It will be a great niwet
to hi in when he gets out Into the
world this self aasuronee If he does
not overdo It.
The story Is tpid of the late flov
ernor ttoverldge of Indiana that when
he was a frexlnmin student at Pc
i'atlw university he made application
to tho prcHldcnt of that tiiKlltutlon for
a loan of two hundred and fifty dol
lars. It ni I pretty larxe sum In
(hone days, and loan funds were not
unlimited. The prealdeiit hexl luted.
"How do you propose to pay the
money back?" the president asked.
"I have been looking through the
catalogue," 'Mr. lleverldgt mild, "and
I see that there Is a total of three
hundred dollars In prlr.es offered for
excellence In oratory and debating.
I propone to win these prlies, and If
I do, I shall have fifty dollars to the
good after paying my obligation to
the college."
The president was stunned 'for a
moment, but he recovered himself
shortly and agreed to approve the
loan, and the record shows that Mr.
Itoverldge won the three hundred dol
lars, paid his obligation to the college,
and had fifty dollars balance to spend
as he liked. It was poxxlhly an In
flated aelf assurance, but he capital
ized on It successfully tunny times
during a long and successful life.
It Is a good thing to believe In your
self. One can have too much fulth, It
Is true, but too Utile la worse. Howe
has good training, a at rung healthy
body, and a first-rate mind, hut he
finds It hard to get a Job, and he can
not hold one. The only reason Is that
he loses his nerve, he doesn't believe
Id himself, and so no one else does.
(CD. 1810. W'Mttra Nti)i'r Union I
Judgment
maw N4 tpm
.r ii ii,rni.TOi
of New York
log on the ball Held. lU-luw It slreti hes
tho green carpet, carefully smoothed
inn) tended by the ground keeper, and
thu heights of ('('"gull's Ulilff rise be
hind tho seemingly distant grand
stand. It Is a great situation; es
pecially when there Is a football game
NEW SOCIAL ARBITER
F. I.ammot I'.elln bus been named
thief of the division of International
conference and protocol In the I'e
pnrtment of State, a post that car
ries with It the additional duty of
director of official entertaining at the
White House, Mr. He! In succeed
Warren I'elano Hobblns, United States
minister to HI Salvador, , who hud
leave of ahitence from Ids post while
serving a! the White House. Mr. I'.e
lln has been In the foreign service
since 1019.
BRITONS
London. Taxation Is dissipating
some of Great Britain's oldest and
largest fortunes, transferring the own
ership of vnst estates and discourag
ing the amassing of wealth.
The death duties are the most keen
ly felt of all taxes, and they rank sec
ond In the list of the government's
sources of Income. The l'.V'J) budget
revealed that more than I,(i0.imK(,iki
was expected from estale duties.
The huge landowners have evolved
several means of defeating this taxa
tion. The most popular Is to convert
existing ownership Into private lim
ited llublllty companies. In this way
the cost of operating the companies
can be deducted from the Income tax
U&s h2 hi
I if? S J
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V ' t ' Jam. V
, . ' -.
HERE'S CHAMPION BIRD STORY
Hiigerstown, Md. Four years ago
It was Just a bird the cat dragged In.
Today It's the talk of the town. Not
only does It trill the airy cadenr.ns of
Its feathered kin, but actually sings
words as well as music. "Maryland,
My Maryland" Is one of the fuvorlte
numbers In Its repertoire. And. while
Its natural voice Is a lyric soprano, it
can on occasion negotiate tenor or
bass.
Moreover, It talks! All the neigh
bors have heard It
Nor Is that all. It tukca a keon
delight In animal and barnyard Imi
tations, mimicking the "bow wow" of
the family wutiiulog and the rolster
oua challenge of t lie ahelk of the hen
house.
The early history of this accom
plished musician and all around enter
tulner Is veiled In mystery. Its rec
"ord dates back to n predatory stroll
four years ago of Mrs. L. It. Itetts'
pet cat. Kitty pounced upon what
appeared to be a small blackbird and
was on Iter way to dispose of It at
her leisure w hen a delivery boy turned
the bird, more dead than ullve, over
to Mrs. Betts. Slio uursed It back to
health.
The little creature was not long In
expressing Its gratitude in song. Un
der the tutelage of Its mistress, she
says, It has learned to sing two stan
zas of "Maryland, My Maryland."
Mrs. Hetts' prodigy Is never ot a
loss for conversational topics. And
when there la nobody to talk to it
amuses Itself whistling. If a boy of
the neighborhood drops In the bird
Is accustomed to Inquire casually,
"Are you a basebnller?" or to ask,
"Will your dog bite?"
P.elng nameless, the bird on occa
sion appeara concerned over Its ori
gin and not Infrequently startles an
unsuspecting visitor with the plain
By
WALTER
TRUMBULL
In progress am snow In the air. I'-ut
Into each life some rain luust full;
they say tho roof leaks.
In Ha J. Akeley recently received
a letter from tho king of northern
Uganda. There Is nothing remark
able In this, us Mrs. Akeley Is on
friendly terms wllh many African
rulers. The remarkable thing Is that
tho letter was written on a typewriter.
Tho record for continuous playing
on I'.ro.tdway Is held, as far as I
know, by James C. Lane. In the past
dozen years, he has played Broad Any
about C.000 performances. Lane
started with John Colden In "Turn to
the Jtlght." After that he played four
years In "Llghtnln'" and has ployed
In almost all Golden shows since. He
never has fulled to make good In a
part John Golden claims that, given
a character part. Lane become the
character. He played a bartender
and every time you aaw him, you
smelt liquor. His last part Is that of
a doctor and he no sooner comes on
the stage thun the audience gets a
faint odor of Iodoform. When Lane
Isn't acting, he works around the Gol
den offices. The first time, years ago,
that Golden found Inne fixing up his
desk and straightening things In his
private office, he asked him what he
was doing.
"Oh." said Lane. "I Just like to put
things In order."
"How much do you want to do this
Job?" Inquired Golden.
"Nothing," said Lnne.
"You're hired," said Golden.
And Lane has been keeping things
In order ever since. Golden says ha
plays that part so well that while he
Is working around the office he smells
of Ink. He la a good actor, to any
character.
(t 1130. B.ll Iradlrtu.t
DODGE DEATH DUTIES
payments, the amount of taxation re
duced during life, and death duties
avoided.
It likewise has the added Induce
nvent of protecting the estutes from
reckless heirs' extravagancies. Among
those titled owners who have trans
formed their estates Into private lia
bility companies have been the dukes
of Huceleuch, Devonshire, Grafton.
Lelnster, Marlborough, Rutland and
Sutherland; marquis of Zetland, the
earls of Berkeley, Iamley, Harewood,
Moray, Ossory, Uoseberg. Spencer and
Strathmore, and Viscounts Novar,
L'llswater and Wemborne.
Another plan Is transferring prop
erty to a younger member of the fam
tive query, "Say, am I a starling?"
In Its lighter moments It greets Its
audience with the Invitation "Kiss
your mother," followed up with a ae
ries of osculatory sounds.
After Fish for
BsaBtaMBnaaaMBVnMBMnanaflr
When the fishing on the Rapldnn ended for Cite year, the lialnhow Angling
club of Axubo, Cnllf., voted to supply President Hoover with the finest trout
of his udopted state. Miss Porls Mauley, the club's girl fishing champion, was
selected to catch the trout for the White Iloua tah'e. am) Is seen luv
dolng bar tint.
IPS id
SPORTS COSTUME
t1444444444V4,i444't4444444
The knitted sports dress with ac
companying cardigan Jacket lends
youthful charm to the wearer. Notes
of Interest are seeu In the selvage
edged neckline with cord and tassel
finish, also In the tucked design ap
pearing as a border on the skirt and
Jacket. A Jaunty beret of the same
deep purple shade belongs with the
outfit
ily. If the transfer is made six
months before death, the estate Is not
subject to death duties.
The standard rote of Income tax In
creased from 'M per cent In l'J'JO to
per euit In 1!'"0. The lower In
comes, however, virtually were not af
fected by the Increase and In some
cases actually pay los.
Ufe Insurance premiums nre an Inv
portant factor In relieving F.e amount
taxable. An amount equ: .1 to H per
cent of the prcrriv.iii paid can be de
ducted from th( U:l (tt.ciw!so pay
able. The tr.a:.iii.u-!i amount of pre
miums su:,ji-; to tl.I relief, however,
Is a sum equ..l to cne- ixth nf the to
tal Income.
The bird Is believed to be a spe
cies of blackbird or starling. It has
a long, pointed bill end dark, pur
pled, spotted wings. Its nock Is de
void of feathers.
the White House
a
i
4 1 -
0
t i . I J. i- .1 . t ,
' S 'n I !
few MQcfS
. i v. r
"My dear Mrs. Maxton," cried tn
Inclined to-be-stout ludy, "fancy meet
ing you here I Tell me, how are thlngn
In your part of the world?"
"Oh. rather pleasant," returned tba
unexpected acquaintance. "But I must
tell yon, niy dear, we've got a new
doctor, instead of old Sawbones, a
you used to call him."
"Fancy that now I Do tell me, mjr
dear Is he a nice man?"
"Oh. yes. my dear, delightful,"
brent bed her friend. "A chnrmlnif
man. lie's always so cheerful, and li9
tiikci life so eu ly !"
NOT THE MONEY
"So you threw Jack and his million
over!" '
'.No, Jack only. I'm suing him for
breach of promise."
Read It and Wtcp
Sweep up whit's left
nf irr Burr;
He threw s tir
At sixty per.
Extra Edition
I'.uncrust-I bear ttmt 1 1 en more
Farms I 'airy stumps all Its eggs with
lis name and the date laid, so you can
tell Just how fresh they are.
I'lebust Yes. the last dozen egga 1
bought from them were the freshest I
ever had I got them a week ahead
of the date of Issue 1
Th Sbaoa BattU
Captain SmifT Sergeunt BJoties,
don't you know you are exposing
yourself to an Imaginary enemy orer
there 300 yards away?
Sergeant P.Jones Yes. sir. but I am
standing behind an Imaginary ruck i!0
feet high.
Juit Lik On
A Why, In the office they call me
the "Busy Needle." because I always
get through the work Itv hand.
15 Yes. I know you "do; but not
until you've had a good push.
POOR SALUTE
km
1 sMm
"They gave the royal visitor the
usual sulute of many guns, didn't '
they?"
"Yes; but the occasion was not
success."
"How's that?" I
"He wasn't hit once." '
Autumn Leaves
How mournful seoni the nuiuinn leaves!
Our souls art moil distressed
When some on In our favorite books
Has put them to b pressed.
PU.ied
"Are you pleased with the 'educa
tional progress your son Is making?"
"Y'es," answered Farmer t'orntossel.
"After seeln' hi in In the football game,
mother 'lows there won't be any trou
ble with tramps when he's Uvlu'
home." Washington Star.
Rsaaon Enough
Lawyer Why do you want a dl
vorce?
The Woman Oh, I nm Just crazi
to have another wedding, dial's all
Cheering
"Didn't those hideous campaign car
icatures make your wife angry?"
"No," answered Senator Sorghum.
"After studying them carefully slid
has concluded that I am not nearly
as homely as I might be." Washing
ton Star.
You Know His Typs
Blinks He does the best he can ac
cording to his lights.
Jinks Ills bulbs must be all burned
out.