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SMILES AND
LAUGHTER
By THOMAS ARKLE CLARK
Dean of Men, University of
Illinois.
SHE was a very handsome woman I
bad to admit to mysvlf as I caught
a hasty Impression of her sitting com
posedly In her section as I came Into
the car. I am Influenced very strong
ly by first Impressions, I am almost
ashamed to admit, and there was an
air of refinement about this woman
which was very convincing, Her gown
was In excellent taste modest, con
servative, and carefully tailored. Her
balr was beautifully kept and her
bands well manicured, I got all this
In a quick impression as I went to
my seat In the middle of the car.
She seemed a person one might like.
It was when she laughed that the
vision of her loveliness fuded out like
an electric light when the switch Is
turned off. It was a coarse, mucus,
vulgar laugh that pierced to the re
motest corners of the car. Women
turned In their seats to see what bad
bnpiened. Men craned their necks
to discover whence came the jangling
nerve-racking sound. It was an illit
erate, nutrulned, undisciplined voice
which spoke volumes. The most skill
ful art of modiste and hairdresser
and manicurist could not efface the
Impression of that loud laugh. It
Indians
Toppenlsh, Wash. It Is salmon time
In the big rivers of the northwest
tales. Indians know It as the harvest
time when they catch fat fish and pre
aerve the fillets for winter.
Hour after bour Indian fishermen
from ten to twelve tribes sit on
the stone masonry of the Sunnyslde
Irrigation dam, near here, spears
poised ready to lunge at Urge leap
ing chlnook or rohoe salmon which are
mining up the Yakima river to spawn
Tente, immovable as statues, they
Kuck Grabs First Victory
i3
L- 0
Johnny Ku'k, giant I'acllic coast
tnr, won the first victory for the
t'nlted Htntes In the Olympic games
when he was d'-clnrcd the winner In
the shot put event.
i f j, ml
n . ' iY
Whocping It Up
Ml .
wm stylish food!
0OG$ HAVE CMAUQEP;
SlUCE MV PAY
an, Mr OOHT EAT
WHAT I FEED HIM!
HE EATS OL'
BONES. SPAPS
OF H0PSE5 HODI-
would take a surgical operation to do
anything with It She was Just com
mon, that was all.
Those who first met Keene, even the
most charitable In expressing their
opinions, were wont to say that he
had a very plain face. It was cur
rent opinion that he was the ugliest
man In town. He had rugged Irregu
lar features, a large nose, and a wide
cut mouth. His was a very serious,
almost a dull - face w hen It was In
repose. But when he smiled you
would have received an altogether
different impression of him. It was a
smile that changed and radiated his
whole countenance. It was the gen
tlest, friendliest, kindest, smile I have
ever seen on a man't face. Before
he spoke you could divine thnt his
voice was soft and well modulated.
You knew without being told that you
could trust him. He was the sort of
man you would go to If you were In
trouble, knowing full well that you
Spear Salmon
wait. Onlookers see the flashing back
of the salmon leaping up the smooth
waterfall. There Is a lightning quick
strike and the struggling silver beauty,
safely speared. Is drawn to land to be
unjuvelined and the spear is ready for
another victim.
The best salmon spenrs are fitted
with barbed hooks and the fish Is
gaffed, rather thon speared. The book
comes off tl.t end of the shaft and
dangles on a cord tied to the pole.
This, the Indians point out, prevents
breakage of the shaft when a thirty
or forty pound fish Is taken.
Sometimes a lo-.en bl silmon will
be hooked by one Indian In a day. At
other times days pass without a catch.
But the redmen never complain about
luck. They poise over the shimmering,
tumbling water patiently waiting until
fish do come within range.
This primitive life Is re-enacted at
a score of rapids and dams in other
oooooooooooooooooooooocooo
8 d.... ianu) i u:ii 8
0 Ltcara tuu-nuiu um
Tattooed on His Back
London. A Suo-word will be
queathing Urge sums of money
to several persons has been tat
tooed on the buck of a man who
walked Into a tattooing estab
liihment In Waterloo road.
He had the will written out
on a piece of paper, and asked
tliut It should be transferred to
his buck. He sut for five hours
while the work wus done and
the will was duly witnessed.
"He was a Colonial, and about
thirty years of age," George
I'.urchett, the tatlooUt, said aft
erward. 'This Is the first will 1 have
ever tattooed during a long ex
perience, and It was difficult,
tricky work."
oooooooooooocooooooooooooo
DEAD SPAPPOWS,
fiCGAPS OF STUFF
STICK V TIM CAMS,
-m.ven -
RUBBERS, AU KW5
OF uARBAGE AMP,
Awy arum qogs
piuwer
would find sympathy and understand
ing. Pegs wagged their tails when
he came near them; children wcro
never afraid of him as they were often
of the more comely faced. I could
never explain this excepting thnt his
smile suggested gentleness, and his
quiet gentleness won human beings
and animals as well.
So fur as I know, man Is the only
animal that expresses emotion or a
state ot mind by smiles or laughter.
The hyena laughs we are told and
the loon, but there Is no more real
laughter In the sounds they make
than there Is music in the bray of a
donkey. Words, some one has said
were given us by the gods to conceal
our thoughts, but smiles and lnui:h
tor are the most definite and sincere
revelation of our true character and
state of mind. The villain may smile
but his smile only tends to reveal his
villainy.
(& UH. Writers Ktitl(xr I'slon )
r.vers ot the Northwest.
On shore squuws and young folks
from the tribes split the salmon, hang
ing the meat over lines or slender
poles to sun dry. Before the fish sen
son Is passed northwest Indians will
have filled many willow baskets with
dried fish steaks. Insuring them against
hunger at winter's coming.
Only Indians from reservations may
SO fish In northwest streams, being
permitted by treaty to do so.
Think So?
Scientists, thinks a philosopher
writing In the American Muguzine,
may lose the kernel of life In study
ing Its changing shells and homes.
Wife
London. The price of wives Is ad
vancing. Within the last few weeks
London divorce courts have awarded
damages to husbands against core
spondents to the tune of SUM)') and
1.1,uuu, and lustly, a few days ago
a husband was awarded SuO,i)0.
The .'jO,0ijo went to George Kdgar
Inginan, an estate agent and surveyor
of Worcester, who obtained a divorce
from his wife, daughter of a wealthy
man, on the ground of misconduct
with Captain Nec-I I'earson, formerly
of The Birches, liuglcy, near Birming
ham. Mr. Ingman announced in ad
vance that he would not retain the
uward, but would use It as a fund for
his duughter by the erring wife. A
alinilur declaration was made by the
husband who received the award of
$10,000.
In I'M iK-mutrlus Sophocles Con
stuiitluldl received an award of f li'y
ow Bgulnst a Doctor I.nnce In an
English court. The $.71,000 received
by Mr. Ingtnun equaled any record
made since then.
English Judges have a wide latitude
In addressing the Jury Id both civil
nnd criminal cases. Suits for divorce
are combined with suits against the
corespondent for loss of the wife's
services, under the English procedure.
It Is not unusunl for a Judge In sum
ming up to remurk. In effect, that
after hearing the evidence the Jury
might conclude that the husbuud, In
stead of obtaining damages, should
thank the corespondent for relieving
hliu of a worthless wife, and the Jury
ordinarily reacts to the sentiments
expressed by the Judge becuuse they
heard the evidence when he did.
The general rule seems to be that
the husbund la entitled to damage, If
the wife was a real helpmeet, but to
refuse them if the was a nagger and
a hundlcup Instead of helpmeet The
corespondent Is punished not for
adultery but on the old theory that a
wife Is, or should be, useful tiround the
house nnd In assisting her husbund a
work for their Joint benefit When the
corespondent steuls the wife he de
prlves the husband of her services. If
ny. (Jutte often the Judge und Jury
0' l
" SI ' Pv 'J. II
Solid Gold Bath
Fittings in Mansion
Windsor, England. The most cosily
residence In England Is known horn
in "The Willows," but neighbors pru
for to cull It "The House ot the Am
bluu Mollis."
It Is the resilience of Sir Ohunjlb
hoy lloinnnjl. wealthy Bombay mor
clmnt. It stitnda within sight of tho
, u
AT
towers of Windsor custle, one of the
homes of the king and queon of Kng
land, but It Is said to be furnished
more elaborately than even the royal
home.
Every bedroom In Sir Phunjihhoy'i
home is fitted with a marble wash
basin, and every hjdrnnt, bracket nml
hat rack Is made of solid gold. In Sir
Phunjlbhoy's own room the legs of
the wnshstand nre also o, gold.
All the furniture Is on a correspond
ing style of magnificence. The rooms
are furnished according to various pe
riod, and the furniture consists entire,
ly of rare antiques. Sir I'hunjlbhoy'i
bedroom Is finished In French style In
the fashion of Louis XIV.
The house of the Indian millionaire
Is built In Tudor stylo. It Is stir
Meeker Back
fa b
Bzra Mii-ker, grand old man of the Northwest, ns he npln ared beside l.ls
motor prnlrle K lioner, glwn him l y the drrd Motor eoitiiany, In whii li be
will follow the old tin-gon trail ncross the Nortlmest. Mis ki r rroi-d this
trull us a youth In the ox drawn covered wagons of the gold rush In '411. ,
Stealing
ennnot see that she was of nny serv
ice, nnd then the Jury awards very
ll.-ht damages, or none. In one case,
the Jury awnrded the husband a six
pence and In another he got a farth
ing. If those husbands felt splt.-ful
toward their deserting wives they Had
the satisfaction of knowing that the
Jury had publicly branded Hie wives
as worthless.
Extreme feminists are chafing over
the awards against coresponden's
because they say that the uward Is
bused upon the fact that the wife Is
regarded by the law In such suits ni
a chattel, which Is exactly true. If I
man deprived another of a horse und
the evidence showed that the horse
wus too vicious to be employed for
any useful work and was nn expense
and a menace to the welfare of the
rightful owner, the Judge and lury
would he Inclined to disregard the
reul owner's valuation of the horse
and award nominal damages for lis
loss. The comparison with a horse
displeases the feminists, but only a
very few of them have been hiard
complaining about the position In
which women plnce themselves by
breech of promise suits, nnd by suits
on the part of childless women for
alimony.
Lord Merrlvnlo, In summing up In
the Ingtnun case, said Mrs. Ingman
daughter of wealth, hud been a help
ful wife, apparently, to her hard work
ing husband until the wealthy Cap
tain I'earson came along nnd she
went off with him. She hud suld that
Captain I'earson could afford to spend
$:JO,ooo to $.'i0,000 per year giving her
a liberal allowance.
English Judges nnd Juries are equal
ly vexed vvlieu the evidence makes
The average man
Is one who thinks
that he Is Just a lit
tle better than the
uvx'iugo nmu,
rounded by beautiful gardens, dotted
with nutiblo Mutuary ami fountains,
(mo of the mni-blo pIccck, known as
"Truth," nltnicts particular intention.
It represents a uudti woman holding
aloft n mirror.
Sir PhtinJIhhoy, In addition to be
ing n connoisseur of solid gold nnd
mailile, Is also a sportsman. Ho hit
a largo stahlo of horses on bis
grounds, nnd to the rear of his gar
dens a miniature ruco track has been
laid out
With so magnificent a home, enter
tnlnlng Is second nature to the Bom
bay potentate and Lady llomnnjl.
Their guestrooms are almost ulwnys
occupied, and Sir MiunJIbhoy has
given several large functions which
many British titled people attended.
Sir IdiunJIbhoy Hnmnnjl was knight
ed In for services rendered the
British nnd Indian governments dur
ing the World war. Ho has now come
to Kngland to make his permanent
residence hero,
? DIPPING
INTO SCIENCE
Xti'',''."v,3'S',.
" "
Male Mosquito Has Radio ;
A You need not four the male
,)! mosquito for ha Is quite harm- t;
less. He does not bite, neither ',
';' docs ho sing. Ha lives entirely
on vegetable matter. Ho p- J
! sesses no ears but lias a radio 1,1
jj all his own In his feathery an- ;J
!h tennno which picks up sound
"J waves and ennbles him to thus Ji
i enjoy the singing of his female J
H companions,
ii IS, 1!I. Wvatarn N,w.ir 1'nlos.t
ijl '!'
on Old Trail
Costly
clear that a rich man has lured awni
I ho wife of a poorer man by luvlsh
offers of money. The Jurli-s nre In
clined to grant damages In such
cases ns punishment for the seducer,
nit hough tho court solemnly warns
the Juries thnt they are to consider
only tho helpfulness, If any, of the
wife to the husband.
Satin Cape Coat
Alice White, whoso largo wardrobe
In the "Show Girl," permits her the
use of a variety of coats, Is seen In
one especially smart coat which favors
the cape. It Is a enpo coat of btnrk
satin smartly trimmed with plullnum
fox fur.
BELLS III
i m
THE VP AND DOWN OF IT,
Ho was a good cook, and the ex
plorers were trying to persuade hint
to make the long flight Into the wilds
with thorn. i
"t)h, Itustusl Como on and got
Nothing's going to happen to you."
'But what If Ah glta tip dur nnd
wants to come down In a hurry T
"Why, didn't you know the plana
was equipped Willi elcvutors?"
"Klovatuhsl lln, bee, beol Dem
elov tahi sure to be gwlne up Jos' when
Ah's a-comlng down I No, sah, bos,'
Not mo I" Aero IHgest
BUT ONE OPENING THERE
Applicant I Just stepped In to so
If you huve an opening for young
mnn.
Business Man The only opening I
have Is the one you Just came through.'
Ion't leave the door open ai you go
out, please.
Puxtltd Public
Ths rutille murmurs In surprli
"I'm surs I m not nulls dunrs.
A hundred issuss now s.rls.
Csa I declJs thsnt nil st onrsT
Hi Pet Avtriion
IVfendaiit (In divorce court) Wa
could get along all right If my wife
did not have the habit of Ignoring
me entirely at times.
Judge And you tnrnn to bsse your
defense on the fact that your wife
Ignores youT
Defendant Vet, your honor. If
there Is Anything that tnnkes ni see
red It's Ignorance from my wife.
l'apicr'i Weekly.
A Small Order
The Landlord I'll be fair. I'M
willing to spend one mouth's rent la
decorating.
Mr. Lltilefliit All right. Here's my
chuck. But It In one dollar bills slid
paper the living room with 'cm.
No Vie lor It
The Salisman I can recommend
tills machine fur Its simplicity. A
Child ran operate It.
Old Miss leftover Sir I Are you
ware that you are addressing an un
married lady? Kimsu City Times.
THE POOR FISH I
Lobster Cop Hey, you're pinched I
Impetuoui Crowd
Ths tvlRlnr (nss his war.
With bold schlsvsmsnis thrilling US,
lis Irlfs to Isnd In sueh s wsjr
That won't result In killing us.
Juit a Name to Him
"Then you won't Invest J"
"No."
"1 tell you this Is another Gid
eon dn."
"Thnt means nothing to me, What
are the original Golcondo shares listed
atr
Too Torrid
Auntie What's the matter, dearl
Don't you like your aspurngust
Elsie (four years old) Yes, auntie,
but the uandlea are ao hot
fill
Setback for Team
Ann Just think, Ed la on the foot-'
ball team.
Mary Thnt'l fine. What Is hel
Halfback or quarterback?
Ann Ilea a drawback. Charlla
Bungs siijs he's the greatest draw,
buck the learn ever had.
Not a Bad Showing
"Does your wife live within your
means?"
"Just flops over a little around the
edges."
s