; What Ed How Likti
; ! lovo iccointillitliimfiitir, iim tnsto,
aitccoae. Tin RitMilCHt enjoyment I
find la "show" I tlio cleverness of
those who attract the nudluiiee. I
like to see people attract iitioniloni
display tustu oiitl sense, earn large
wages, mid Its world their big pay.
K. V. tlowu'e Monthly.
Not Much Attraction
MVe tluill ha dimmed In form per
hapa," our favorite radio preacher
recently V declared. "Imt otherwise
immortality will Hud tin the wny we
, are." Comforting to ninny, no doubt;
but don't lull Unit to a nmn with buy
fever and expect htm to cheer.
i'urm and Flresldo.
Heredity
The nmn who hellevce thoro la a
much exercise In cutting the gross iii
there la In playing golf hna a aon who
thlnka there la aa much exercise In
running to the-Mora aa there la In
chasing an outfield fly. St. Louie
I'oet Dispatch.
,
May Wedding
The auporatllloua belief Dint Mny
marriages era unlucky la merely be
eaurtaj the church, In the old dnya,
banned that month. It la not when
you ninrry, but whom, that matter.
May la aa lucky aa any other mouth.
Invisible Ink
The almpleat of ell tnvlslble tnka la
milk or, better Kill, buttermilk. If
ued with a perfectly clean new pen
and on unglnzed pnper, It will not
rhow. The rasleat wny to bring It out
la to Iron It with a hot flutlrou.
Success
Rucreni In any of llfe'a endeavor
la the product of atuity and thought.
It requires clone application. ' Hut
achievement la possible lo any nmn
who hoe the Initiative and determine'
tlon tq equip himself. Orlt.
Thought for Today
' It wns the policy of my father to
mnke hla children feel that home waa
the happlmt place In the world; and
I value tlita deltcloua home feeling ae
one of the choicest glfia a piirvnl con
bestow. Wnnhlngton Irving.
It' Side-Splitting
A European aclcnttst predicts thnl
within five yeara we athnll be able to
epllt an atom. And to think that a
few yeara ago we aneered at people
for apllttlng halra I Cleveland I'luln
lealor.
That', It
We like the nmn whose Impulse It la
to rny yea much better than the one
whose Impulse la to any no, but the
trouble la thnt the former never hna
anything to lend. Ohio 8tnte Journal
Deflation
It Isn't dulleult for a man to atari
out In the morning feeling like an
epic poem and return home at night
feeling Ilka a typographical error.
I'lillttdelphla Inquirer.
They're Craxy
Tboae llrltlsh phyalclnue who any
that crying la food fur the com
plexlon of courae never hnd to put
mi fine after a hard cry. Loulavllle
Tlmea.
Malta Them$lve$ Mi terabit
: It la not ao much happlneaa aa Im
patience that from time to time poa
e-Bce men. and then they choose to
call themaelvea miserable. Guot he.
Mitfortune Bring Happinenf
"Kven misfortune bring aome hap
plneaa," an Id III Ho, the ange of
Chinatown. "It enablea our enemies
to rejoice." Washington Star.
Sleep Antidote
, A radio program awakened a worn'
an wbo had been aaleep for ISO houra.
1'robahly tome one alnglng one of
thoaa Diaminy lullaby things. .
Never Thought of That
A lover of the cranberry any a It la
fine antiscorbutic. Now, w hnd
never thought of that Arkanana Ua
sett. Food for Thought
Eating flah la aald to nourish the
brnln. 80 louie people ahould eat
whale.
Nothing to Stop Them
Soma penple'e mlnda ara ao open
thnt ao Idea gwa clean through
tlicm. . . , .
k wit e rn-
PROOF RESTS WITH PATIENTS
Lallan and rumta and aadraaats of himdradt at
grateful patlanU contain) In our KHKK HOOK
on Hictii and tnlon allmantst
alio detail of I. C. J, Data
noiwuralcil Htlhod of trtiU
in tut, which wa m aiclutlvahi.
Strut lor N today and I tam W
our wKiribN ahkukanib
TO Kl IMINATK l'ILI OR
rr.n Hr.riiNiirrn.
TOiOiiCiiNiC
a' - r . 1
a it. am aavi
RECTAL
M a . Pt.r- P.K.
... aanaalalHai alltaa
TMrn wmrrtHQ
laaa a
1 rMt irir
)
aav
Qraek Monaatery
IPrtrand bt iht National Uaaraahla
awitir, Waabinaioa. D. CI
TIII;IIU la a legend, perhapa It la
blatury, that there waa once a
ruler In t'onatantlnople who die-
liked hla brother and wlahed to
banlah him to the remoteat corner of
bla klniclcim. Consequently the mon
arch built a monnatery on a well-nigh
Itiacceaalble mountain In Theaaaly and
founded a brotherhood, about four
hundred yeara ago, In what aoemed to
be the utterinoet corner of the earth.
The monaatery waa called "Me
teora," meaning 'domicile of the sky."
After the original waa built, twenty
three othera groued themaelvea
around and were Inhabited for awhile.
They were, however, finally aban
doned, wltb the exception of three,
Which are ait 1 11 In uae.
To reach this entitlement one can go
directly from Athena by train lo .13
hours, or one can croaa the Theaaa
knlnn plains In reven hours by train
from the port of V11I0.
The season of good weather com
Ricncce In April, when the mountalna
ara green and yellow with goraa and
the sun ahlnea almost continually.
Karller there ara apt to be heavy
ruin 1, and the aprlng. thaw cauaea a
mist to rlre front the frozen mountalna.
which ubscurea the view, while the
snow, melting Into the earth, makea
mud one or two feet deep, and traveling
on boraeback la almost Impossible. If,
however, ona la fortunate enough to
hit the Inst of winter, when Uie aun
ahlnea and the mountalna are still re
splendent In their dnxzllng whiteness,
then one aeea them lo all their glory.
The rocky emlnencee on which atand
the 14 monumenta of man'a erstwhile
habitation eeeni to forbid nearer ap
proach, and yet they lure the adven
turer to them by their danger.
Acroaa the Plains ef Thaaaaly.
The seven' houre trip acroaa the
plnlna of Theaiwly to the town of
Kulabnka la moat enchanting. Itunw
after range of bllla roll up from the
plateau. The footbllla In winter ara
powdered with anow, aa though ao
angel hnd ahnken the down from hie
wings; the higher bllla are whiter and
bleaker, and the highest bllla are aa
pure aa the drifting clouds Into which
they eeein to melt and dlaappear Into
highest heaven.
The train crawla over the bllla and
acroaa the plulua at a alow speed, and
the theep-doga run barking by Ita
aide; Indeed, ona wonders that they
do not outpace lt The flllagea, In
variably set back from the railway,
are far better to look at to Ilia dls
tnnce, for the stucco bouaea are not
attractive near to; but their lint, red
roofs add a pleaalng touch of color
to the middle landscape.
Occasionally a Greek priest, wltb
long beard, long balr, and long gar
menta, rldea by. - Hie high bat and
hla large croaa Indicate prominently
bla calling, and, If ha la not to too
great a hurry, a pedeetrlan may atop
him, klaa hla croaa, and be touched on
the forehead with a little switch, pre
rumnbly dipped In holy water, and tire
alnner ohtulna absolution for the day
Una leavea the train at Kalabnka,
and there takes homes and guldea to
climb to the hlgb-bullt nionaaterlea
Kor three houra the horrea pick their
way over hlllaldea where, In the month
of February, no trail It visible.
Up the beda of streams the way
lends and the rushing waters must be
forded. Suddenly otie cornea upon a
rock formation ao awe-compelling from
lis Immense height and forbidding
steepness that 'Dure could have Im
agltied no mora formlduhle bulwark
Andromeda might have been chained
to one of these rhecr rocks, and the
englea thut swoop, and dip, and circle
among them could have been Die only
Blouaea Made of Moira
If you've wondered whether nmlre
waa definitely smart this sou son,
you'll And thnt It la, for now even
blouaea aa well aa dresses ore select
ing mnlrt aa their fulirlc A new, sup
ple, autln-bnck moire used for blouaea
la aeen In white, blonde, pench and
red to accompany the aprlng totlleur.
Chiffon Kerchief
A social success la the largo ker
chief of chiffon, 01 It la cuusulcuous-
L
nft l)Vkl
of Trinity,
thing to reach ber, until Perseus came
to set her free. la those daya the
valley waa evidently a body of water
and could easily have harbored a mon
ster of tha deep. Now t river winds
along, like a ahlnlng thread, with wide
sandy banks, that Indicate tha pret
ence of wider abeot of water not
ao very lung ago.
Bulldlnge Cling to Rock Walla.
Aa tha traveler looka In wonder at
a detached colossal pillar of atone, he
discovers on Ita aeemlngly nnattalo
able ruintnlt building I Tbla habi
tation of man, half natural rock and
half artificial, aeemt most extraordi
nary. Uuldea'draw attention to the
higher preclplcea, and aa one grow
aecuatomed to their outllnea ha aeea,
on all aldea, monasteiica lucked Into
the ledgee of the perpendicular walla.
The Oral abode of the contempo
rary monka la Ilarlaam, which la sold
to contain a wonderful Itytantlne II
brary; entrance to this monastery la
barred to women. An hour further
on Ilea another monaatery, Trinity,
where both men and women visitor
are allowed to enter.
The wbole of the west plain of
Theaaaly Ilea behind, and the white
mountains of the 1'lndoa range rise
rugged and Imposing ahead. At the
base of the rock on which Trinity la
perched. Ilka an eagle a neat, the
guldet halloo and beat with a stick
00 a tin can, found In the bnshea.
Soon an answering rail cornea back,
and over tha precipice, aome 300 feet
above, the peering face of aeveral
monka appear. Then aomethlng ter
pentine fllea Into tha air, and aa It
drop? perpendicularly, discloses, dan
gling from a coll of roe, what looka
like a amnll Osh net. When the cable
touches the earth the flb net prove
to be' a large-sited rope bag, which
opena and spreads out flat on the
ground.
One at time would-be vlsltora are
Invited to atep Into the middle of this
net and equal. Turk-fashion. The
edges are then gathered together on
to a large Iron book. A about la giv
en, and tha net soar upward, while
Its occupant foela somewhat like ao
orange at the bottom of a market
woman's bag.
Hauled Up by Rope.
The ascent tukea Just three min
utes. Occasionally the open-work ele
vator awing Into tha rock with a
alight bump, but the monka at the top
wind the wlndlaaa alowly, and the
bumping doesn't hurt, but aa a com
pensation the view grow mora beau
tiful every aecond. At Inst the top ta
reached. There la a final awing out
ward, to get a rebound Inward, aeveral
pairs of banda are outstretched to pull
the net over to the platform, and then
cornea a drop on to the atona floor!
Tha book la detached, the nieahea
opened, and the paaaengcr la helped to
hla feet by tha black-robed brother
They all gather around with worda of
welcome and banda ready to be ahak
en In greeting.
In their aerie monastery tha monk
live comfortably enough. The vlsl
tora' parlor and tha room reserved for
guesta to sleep In ara scrupulously
clean, and tha cells, though 'aurtcre,
are alao tpotlcaa, tha wall covered
with whitewash. Vlsltora are refreshed
with Jelly and brandy aa ta the custom
In many part of Greece,
Beyond Trinity, the monastery of
Kulut Stephen ran be visited without
resort to a wlndlaaa and rope ele ator.
One cllmba by trull 10 a neighboring
pinnacle and then crosses a chasm to
Snlnt Stephen over a narrow bridge.
At the further end the visitor must
pass through a low-vaulted atnble wltb
Us pigs, sheep, aud goats. IScyond a
courtyard Ilea the monastery equipped
much Ilka Trinity.
ly present at exclusive dance attend
ed by tha amart younger set, It la
carried In the evening purse or tied
around the wrist, and frequently It
appears aa a bandana wrapped around
a youthful bead.
Batiste Lingerie
A revival of tha old lingerie, made
of batiste and linen Instead of allk,
show juat how exquisite auch lin
gerie can be, especially when beauti
fully embroidered and trimmed with
real laces. ,
Telephone Directory :
vi. Encyclopedia
e
t (UNO LARDNEB
To Uie Kdltort
They seems to he a few people In
the Lulled Htulea thut still think w
wasn't Justified or aomethlng In de
claring war on Gormuuy, but 1 guess
these bird would foci different If they
atopped to think thut It wua a tier
uiuii thut Invented tha telephone end
If Louvulu and Uie sinking of tha
Louisiana wua a crime, whut about
the Invention of Uie telephone, which
cornea from tha 2 Greek words tele,
meunlng fur off, and puoua, meaning
sound and maybe It la on sect, of m
llvelng In Greut Neck which Isn't fur
from tha Sound why niuyhe that I
why tha telephone aervlce Isn't so
well yon know.
When a man stops to think that the
telephones ara Invented by a German,
why you can't help but believe the
reat about them for InsL Inventing
tear gus and etc. but not only thut
but It also abowa how vs. democracy
they waa when they Invented some
thing thut nobody but only the leisure
cluss can use because for lust. 1 and
you could not never afford It even If
we only figured our lime 00 10c per br.
which nobody gets aa little aa thut
now daya only the president of Hur-
vard collega or a aoldler or some
thing. For lust. If 1 am out here In
Greut Neck and want to tulk to some
body In N. X, City wny It wouldn't
only cost me about f'.'.oo to go down
there jnd see Uiem wny if I telephoned
It would be 30c tor the cult and 2
daya to put It through aud If 1
worked on a 8 br. basla on 10c per br,
why that would be a totul of I1.S0 for
Uie 2 duya that It took for them to
put Uia telephone ltd! through where
I could go down and see them and
get back In 3 hra. or aome auch figure.
Cut In Uie case of the leisure cluss,
It'a different aa Uie only real work
they balf to do the whole yr. around
la muke out their Income tai blauka
which only takes 8 months to figure
out bow they can beat the gov't, and
If it waa not tor tha telephone they
wouldn't know what to do Uie rest of
their time where aa now when they
get Ured 'f poker and bridge and etc.
and have got a few duya left on their
band why all aa they half to do to
kill a couple of daya ta try and get
somebody 00 the telephone.
liut I don't wont my genial readers
to think this crabby article means
that 1 don't bold no brief for the tele
phone company. On Uie other bund.
If It waa not fur a German Inventing
the telephone why they wouldn't of
been no American Inventing the tele
phone directory which la the greatest
Institution we got left here from a
lmusement pt. of view.
The telephone directory bat never
been gave the credit It deserve and
pertouly I have got 1 regret In life
which la that 1 didn't keep all the
telephone dlrectorlea which waa ever
gave to me aa It would aave me from
buying a cyclopedia which costs I-KJ
a case which opposed to a telephone
directory that don't coat nothing If
yon ever get It and baa got 8 or 9
Umea aa many nuir in It and be
aldea that the namea In the cyclopedia
la 00 dead compared to the namea
In the telephone directory which la
only SOCe dead when you try and call
them up.
I alsi wlahed I could bring 4th a
modern vol. to prove my assertions,
but unfortunately the only telephone
books I got In the bouse I the latest
one from Great Neck where yon al
ready know the number of the grocery
ator aud the butcher ahop and the
taxi cab Co. end Mr. (Juun whu loans
you money and also the N. X. City
telephone directory of May 2, 1017,
and 1 suppose If 1 live here a couple
more years they will give me a Octo
ber book of 1U17 aud keep me up to
date.
80 I will balf to prove my point If
any by quoting from tha N. V. City
telephone directory of May 2, 11)17, as
follows aa they any :
In the first place It anya that use
full Information can be found on I'age
17. So you turn to f age 17 and the
Drat thing that atrlkea you In the eye
ball la a ad that anya we sell arllllclul
limbs that flu Well, suppose that
aome morning you waa to wake op
and have a cravelng for a artificial
limb that fit you and you didn't know
how to go about It to get one und they
waa not no telephone directory In the
home why here would you be at?
You would balf to call up and ask for
Information which la another word
for practical Jok. and they would fine
ly give you a firm that sold artificial
llmlis that dldnt come near fitting
and you would buy 1 and half to walk
dowu the at all out of kllterand peo
ple would look at you and make you
feel like a fool.
On t'uge 22 they give yon Informa
tion for telephone users which they
don't clulm Is useful! but It says you
can call Information froe of charge
and also tha Co. wants criticism but
It ahould always be made by tele
phone, why by the time you reach the
party It would be 8 or yra. niter ana
the management would of ciiungea.
All told, It looka to me like the
telephone which waa mnde In Ger
many wu enough excuse for us fight
ing them where aa the telephone di
rectory which was made In America
ta work thnt ought to go down In
history Ilka "Huckleberry Finn" or
"Casey Jones" or something.
P. S. The book also anya that they
have got rest room for operators but
don't say nothing about reat room for
blfd thnt call up.
(0 r tbt Utll (radical, tncl
Little
WHY, OF COURSE!
She waited on the corner Joyously,
then pensively, then expectantly,
then casually, then anxiously, and
two houra passed.
"Man," she aald, "la a perfidious
animal, faithless and untrue. Incapa
ble of consummating a promise," and
so she became a cynic.
Two hundred yards down the street
he aald the tame thing about women
she waa on the wrong corner. Tit
Illta. How to Hit 80
Auto Prospect But 1 don't want to
buy a car that runs 70 or 80 miles an
hour.
Salesman Don't let that worry
you. Tiiia car doesn't really go that
fust But people like to brag about
going fust and to please them wa fix
the speedometers ao they show twice
as much aa the car la going. Path
finder. LEARNING BY NOTE
Friend "la your daughter learn
ing to alhg by noter Dad "Yet
five-dollar note every lesson."
What a Break!
A wealthy citizen wbo bad tasted
mod of life' pleasures was feeling
low. Nothing specific seemed to be
the matter, but low be was. So be
called hla physician.
"Doctor," he complained, "I'm tick
of everything."
"Great." American Legion Monthly,
Mood
A teacher wa instructing the clnsa
00 the "moods of verbs," end t the
conclusion of the lesson asked tbe fol
lowing questiona
"Let the cow go Into the shed. What
mood?"
A child' replied: "The cow mooed.'
PRESENTED AT COURT
"Ho cays he'a been presented at
court."
"I'll aay he baa twice for embezzle
ment and forgery once."
Televition
"I can't take a good picture of your
bnhy when it la kicking ao!" auld tbe
photographer.
A the negro woman gathered up
her walling offspring she murmured
"De next time Ah come to have yo'
ilcturo took Ah'U leave yo' to home 1
77i Jokei
"Did you write all the Joke In your
howr
"Yea."
"Well, If I may compliment you,
you must be much older than you
look."
An Aberration
Hla Sister (wruthfully) now on
earth did you come to propose to hert
Dn ted Youth Well, we were altting
on the stairs, and some one came and
kicked me on the back of the bead.
All Over
Country Policeman (at scene of
mnrdcr) lou can't come In here.
Iteporter But I've been sent to do
tbe murder.
Country Pollcemnn Well, you're
foo lute; the murder' been done.
Complication in Refueal
Mr. Jonea Doesn't your husband'
tutterlng bother youT
Mr. Smith On Uie contrary, It
helps me. He'd much rather help
with tha housework than aay "No,
Woman Driver
IliketodrivewithCham
FionSparkPlugs because
know I'll not be annoy
ed with engine trouble
due to faulty spark plugs.
Champion la the bcttcrtpark plug
because U ha an exclusive sUli
manlta Insulator sp
' dally created to with
stand tha much higher
tcmperaturea of the
modern hlgh-compref
Ion engine. Also a new
. patented solid copper
gaakct-eeal thatremainj I
absolutely gst-tight
under high compres
sion. Special analysis
electrode whichastura
a fixed spark-gap under
U driving conditions.
CHAMPION
SpargPlugs
TttVk,Oha M
Dependable for Every Engine
Enough of It
William F. Uroenlng, tbe new
mayor of Baltimore, waa talking
about the Churchill-Mellon contro
versy over war debts.
'We have forgiven the AUIea over
half their debt to us," be aald, "but
still they're not content With argu
ment, wheedling and abuse they hope
to get out of paying the other half.
"The thing reminds me of U14
monopolist who said:
" 'You are too hard on us. Ton
ought to do aa yon want to be done
by.'
That's Just It: ald the trust
buster. "We don't want to be done by
anybody.' "Detroit Tree Press.
NURSES know, and doctors have
declared there' nothing quite like
Bayer Aspirin or all torts of ache
and paint, but be lure it tr genuine
Bayer; that name must be on the
package, and on every tablet Bayer
is genuine, and the word genuine in
red i on every box Yon can't go
wrong if yott will just look at the box;
lanlria Is
tha tnite aiatk f
MaBifaetat
Meaaa.tict14tMr tt aslielleatll
Nobleman' Store Travelt
"to regain the fortune they lost aa a
result of the World war nn Austrian
riohlemnn and hi family are traveling
through their country In a combina
tion store and home mounted on auto
mobile trucks. When stops are made
the van Is quickly converted Into an
open-air store, with steps, display
windows, balconies and gabled roof
surmounted by nntlera. The borne
consists of a pnrlor, bedroom and
kitchen while the trailer hat space
for a aecond bedroom.
Head of Hott
Suhonth menns armies or hosts and
the expression "Lord of Snhouth" may
be translated the Lord of Hosts.
1 A59 T3 BEAUTY
AND CHARM
K. jibing so n-.ars an other
wIm) bi'uutlnd face as the
li,d.-lln.a J f.Ouii.
and luflrrlnir caused hv
r,i tlrril, a.-htitK feet. ALIEN'S
FOOT-EASI, tha Antiseptic,
ilealma Powder, insures
loot com tort. ltliaTol-
wt Nacuaaitr. aliakalt
In J'1"' slioea In tha
morniug, NikHi all
3 Pam-e all wiling
tlion let juar mirror (all
tin alory. Trial park.
aire and a Poot-fiua
WalkHK Dull aant
, Aitrlms AIM'S Foal-la. It aay BJ t.
1 Pinch, Um Allca's Foot-LaM
For Moiauitu Bites, Sting of Beet
ana Venomous Insects
HAN FORD'S BALSAM OP MYRRH
SwNd bcSrattaSaklllMsalua. AUdaalaam,
W. N. U.. PORTLAND, NO. 272
l Saw : i
I
V - W
rfaaawl II XI X X
I IT1M iVS
Free
la