THE GAZETTE-TIMES, HEPPNER, OREGON, THURSDAY, JAN. 5, 1922.
PAGE tiiukk
BS. F. B. FAEEI0E
BEXTTM
Office upstairs over Poatofflce
Heppner, Oregon
DR. , J. VAUGHAN
DKNTUT
Permanently located In the Odd
Fellows building, Roomi 4 and 6.
Heppner, Oregon
A.D. McMURDO, M. P.
PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
Office In Patterson Drug Store
Trained Kane Assistant
Heppner, Oregon
C. 0. CHICK, M. D.
PHYSICIAN SURGEON
Trained Nurse Aaaiatant
Office upstalra over Poatofflce
Heppner, Oregon
WOODSON & SWEZK
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
Office In MaaonlcBuildtng
Heppner, Oregon
SAM E. VAN VACTOR
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
First National Bank Building
Heppner, Oregon
S. X. N01B0N
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
Office in Court Houae
Heppner, Oregon
Office Phone, Main 643
Residence Phone, Main 666
FRANCIS A. McMENAJUlf
LAWYER
RoaerU Building, Heppner Oro
F. H. ROBINSON
LAWYER
IONK, OREGON
ROT V. WHITEIS
Fire Insurance writer (or kest 014
Line Companies.
Heppner, Oregon
E. J. 8TARKEY
ELECTRICIAN
House Wiring a Specialty
Heppner, Oregon
Phoae 872
. E. MILLER
'The Old-Time Auctioneer"
He 8tlcks and Stays
Reasonable Ratee for Bales
lone, Oregon
H1PPNER SANITARIUM
DR. J. FERRY CONDBR
Physlelan-ln-Charge
DR. PARIS T. RICHARDS
Associate Physlolan
Treatment of all diseases. Isolated
wards for contagious diseases.
FlUB I5ICKAKC1
WATIRS & ANDERSON
Bucoeeeors to
O. C. Pattarsoa
Heppner
Oregea
THE MOORE HOSPITAL
NOW OPEN TO THE PUBLIC
For Surgical and Medical Fatlents.
Eallre New Eenlpmeat. Large
Modera Surgery,
l)B. C. C. CRICK. M. D.
Phyalrlaa aad Sorgeoa
Flies, Mala 533
MATERNITY HOME
MRS. O, C. AIKHN, HEPPNER.
I am prepared to take a limited
number of maternity cases at say
heme. Fatleats privileged te eases
thett ewa phrstelaa.
Best of attention and ears assured.
Pheme SOS
LEGAL NOTICES
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE
STATE OF OREGON FOR THE
COUNTY OF MORROW.
Christina Cook, Plaintiff)
a. )
Charles D. Coleman and Lo-)SUHHONS
tus Roblson, Defendants)
To Charles D. Coleman, dofendant:
IN THE NAME OF THE STATE OF
OREGON: You are hereby summoned
and required to appear and answer the
complaint of plaintiff filed against you
In ths above entitled court and cause
on or before six weeks from the date
of first publication of this summons,
to-wlt: On or before the 18th day of
January, 1922, and you are hereby noti
fied that if you fall so to appear or an
swer, for want thereof plaintiff will ap
ply to the court for ths relief demanded
In her complaint, vis. for judgment
against you for 1900.00 and interest
thereon at the rate of ten per oent per
annum from February 20, 1919, for ths
further sum of $100.00 attorneys fee
and the costs and disbursements of this
suit: that the real property mortgaged
by you to plaintiff to secure the fore
going obligation, vis., Southwest quar
ter of Section I, Northeast quarter of
Section 17, Northwest quarter, North
half of the Southwest quarter and Weat
haul of Northwest quarter of Southeast
quarter of Section It In Township 6
South Range 2S'B. W. M be sold upon
foreclosure and the proceeds applied to
plaintiff's judgment and that you be
foreclosed of all right, title and inter
est In or to said real property save the
statutory right of redemption.
This summons Is served upon you by
publication thereof In The Qasette
Tlmes, a weekly newspaper published
at Heppner, Oregon, once a week for
six weeks, by order of Hon. Gilbert W.
Phelps, judge of the above entitled
Court and the date of first publication
Is December IS, 1921.
WOODSON 8WTSEK,
Attorneys for Plaintiff.
121!-7t Heppner. Oregon.
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.
Notice Is hereby given that the un
dersigned has been appointed by the
County Court ot the Stats of Oregon
for Morrow County, administrator of
the estate of Arthur Kllcup, deceased.
All persons having- claims against the
said estate must present them to me.
properly verified, at the office of Wood
son A Sweek, my attorneys, at Hepp
ner, Oregon, within six months from
the date of first publication hereof.
Date of first publication Nov. t, 1921.
W. W. KILCUP. Administrator.
NOTICE OP STOCKHOLDER MEET
ING. Notice la hereby given that the regu
lar annual Stockholders' Meeting of the
Lexington State Bank, Lexington, Ore
gon, wll be held at Its banking rooms
In the town of Lexington, Oregon, at
the hour of two o'clock In the afternoon
on Thursday, January 11, 1921.
The purpose for which this meeting
Is called la to elect a board of directors
for the ensuing year, and for the trans
action of any other business which may
be properly presented.
W. O. BCOTT, President
Attest: W. O. HILL, Cashier.
NOTICE Of SHAREHOLDERS' MEET
ING. The annual meeting of the Share
holders of the Farmers A Stockgrowers
National Bank of Heppner, Oregon,
will be held In their Banking Hcuse on
January 10th, the second Tuesday In
January, 1922, between the hours of
10 o'clock A. M. and 4 o'clocck P. M.
for the election of Officers for the en
suing year and the transaction of such
other business as may legally come be
fore the aald meeting.
Dated this 7th day of December, 1121.
a W. SPENCER, Cashier.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION
Isolated Tract
(0J1S69)
rrni.ic land sale
DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR,
U. 8. LAND OFFICE at The Dalles, Ore.,
November 29. 1921.
NOTICE is hereby glvn that, as di
rected by the Commissioner of the Gen
eral Land office under provisions of Sec.
2455, R S , pusurant to the application
of Jos. A Robblns. Serial No. 0218M,
we will offer at public sale, to the high
est bidder, but at not less than 11.60
per acre, at 10:45 o'clock A. M., on the
Fifteenth day of February, next, at this
office, the following tract of land: NE4
NW. Rcc. SO, T. 4 S., R. 24, E. W. M.
(containing 40 acres) "This tract is
ordered into the n.aiact on a showing
that the gi enter portion thereof Is
mountainous or too rough for cultiva
tion." Tho sale will not be kept open, but
will be declared closed when those pre
sent at the hour named have ceased bid
ding. The person making the highest
bid will be required to Immediately pay
to the Receiver the amount therof.
Any persons claiming adversely the
above-described land are advised to
Die their claims or objections on or
before the time designated for sale.
T. C. QUEEN. Receiver.
NOTICE TO CREDITORS
Notice Is hereby given that the un
dersigned has been appointed by the
County Court of the State of Oregon
for Morrow County Administratrix of
the Estate of William L. Barlow, de
ceased; and that all persons having
claims against the said estate must
present the same, duly verified accord
ing to law, to me at Vie office of my
attorney, S. E. Notson, In Heppner, Ore
gon, within six months from the date
of first publication of this notice, said
date of first publication being Decem
ber 22, 1921.
MARY 8. BARLOW. Administratrix.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
ISOLATED TRACT.
Public Lead Sale.
DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR.
U. 8. Land Office at LaGrande, Oregon,
December 21, 1921. NOTICE is hereby
given that, as directed by the Commis
sioner of the General Land Office, un
der provisions of Sec. 2455, R. 8., pur
suant to the application of Jerm O'
Connor, of Heppner, Oregon, Serial No.
021143. we will offer at public sale, to
the highest bidder, but at not less than
13.25 per acre, at 10 o'clock A. M., on
the 23rd day of February, 1922, next,
at this office, the following tract of
land: NWY,NE4, Section 6, Tp. 4 8., R.
28 E. W. M.
The sale will not be kept open, but
will be deolared closed when those
present at the hour named have ceased
bidding. The person making the high
est bid will be required to Immediately
pay to the Receiver the amount thereof.
Any persons claiming adversely the
above-described lnnd are advised to Ale
their dalms, or objections, on or before
the time designated for sale.
CARL N. HELM, Register.
J. H. TEARE, Receiver.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
ISOLATED TRACT.
Pul.llo Laid Rale.
DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR,
IT. 8. Land Office at LaOrande, Oregon,
December 31, 1921. NOTICE Is hereby
given that as directed by the Commis
sioner of the General Land Office, un
der provisions of Sec. 2455, R. S pur
suant to the application of Jerm O'
Connor, of Heppner, Oregon, Serial No.
021142, we will offer at public sale, to
the highest bidder, but at not less than
4.00 per acre, at 10 o'clock A. M on
the 23rd day of February, 1922, next,
at this office, the following tract of
land: SEKSWK. Section 30, Tp. 3 S., R.
28 E W. M.
Tho Bale will not be kept open, but
will be deolared closed when those
present at the hour named have ceased
bidding. The person making the high
est bid will be required to Immediately
pay to the Receiver the amount thereof.
Any persona claiming adversely the
above-described land are advised to file
their claims, or objections, on or before
the time designated for sale.
CARL N. HELM, Register.
J. H. PEARE, Receiver.
WANTED a second-hand windmill
that Is In good running order. Adver
tisement O. E. ADKINS, Heppner.
I will sell my house partly rurnlse
ed, or I will rent same to right party.
Phone or write Millie McRoberta, Hipp
ner. tf.
Furnished housekeeping rooms for
rent Inquire this office. Advertise
ment tf.
THESE MEN WILL
t.... mi -f iiar us m wirrfti " niriM1imi.ll.il WW iiinnTiiiilwv-li nm nnii i irwniiiiiir irii ant ' If, -in ir nan . .imnr J
(Left to right) James R. Howard, president; Howard Leonard, Illinois; O. E. Bradfute, vice president;
J. W. Coverdale, secretary; C S. Brown, Arizona; J. T. Orr. Texas: C E, Gunnels, Treasurer; W. H,
Walker, California.
(Left to right) H. C. McKenzie, New York; John F. Burton, Utah; Ralph Snyder, Kansas; E. F.
Richardson, Mississippi; Gray Silver, West Virginia; James W. Morton, Georgia: John G. Brown, Indiana'
H. E. Taylor, New Jersey. '
INTERNATIONAL CO-OPERATION
THE NEED OF TODAY
Francis Sisson, the Famous Banker,
Holds Our Economic Basis
Rests with World.
Claims High Tariff Destined to
Cause Serious Injury to Com
mercial Life.
By Francis H. Sisson.
Editor's Note. Francis H. Sisson
is vice-president of the Guaranty
Trust Company of New York City,
one of the largest and most important
banking concerns in the world. He
is a student of international econom
ics as well as being thoroughly famil
iar with internal economics and the
financial and industrial situation in
the United States. What he has to
say of tariffs and similar questions
comes from his viewpoint as an econ
omist and banker and not from the
viewpoint of a politician.
While economic depression pre
vails throughout the world, as the in
evitable aftermath of the most de
structive of all wars, America can no
more hope to solve its domestic econ
omic problems alone than the world
can reasonably expect to cure its
multifarious economic ills by some
magic panacea. In the final analysis,
we were drawn into the European
struggle because of the economic in
erdependence of all civilized nations,
and the only possible way we can
fully recover from the effects of war
is by international economic co-operation.
Our complete realization of
that dominant fact is the paramount
need of the hour in this country.
But we cannot effectively co-operate
abroad until there is more effi
cacious co-operation at home. It is a
case of better team-work within and
without. It is futile, for inslance, for
one branch of the Government to en
deavor to facilitate the granting of
credits to prospective foreign buyers
or our raw materials when another
branch of the Government insists on
making it impossible for those buyers
to pay us their debts and liquidate the
credits they obtain here. While the
extent to which the War Finance Cor
poration can aid American and for
eign interests in its commendable ef
forts to supplement private sources
of credit in promoting our foreign
trade may be questionable in view
of the abnormal world situation and
its colossal demands, its services
must unavoidably be negatived to a
considerable degree by the enactment
of a permanently high tariff act.
Consider Tariff.
Consideration should be given to
the effect of a high tariff not only
upon particular industries, but upon
the welfare of the country as a whole.
We should not lose sight of the dif
ference between conditions when the
Payne-AIdrich law was enacted. The
effect of the adoption of a high, pro
tective tariff today may be quite un
like the effect of the adoption of the
Payne-AIdrich law and similar meas
ures passed before the war.
Prior to the war, the United States
was a debtor nation and compara
tively little thought was given to the
effect of a protective tariff on our ex
port trade. Today an altogether dif
ferent situation obtains and the adop
tion of a tariff law, with rates high
enough to interfere seriously with our
export trade, is destined to cause se
rious injury to our commercial and
industrial life.
It is estimated that, prior to the
war, European capital was invested
in American securities to the approx
imate amount of $6,000,000,000. The
net payments of interest and divi
dends on this capital, after deducting
the amount owed to citizens of the
United States on account of their for
eign investments, required the an
nual remittance abroad of between
$175,000,000 and $225,000,000. Oth
er payments, such as expenditures of
American tourists, remittances by
immigrants, freight, insurance, etc.,
brought the total up to about $500,
000,000. In order that these pay
DIRECT NATIONAL FARM BUREAU IN 1922
SL
ments might be met, it was necessary
that our merchandise exports should
exceed our imports by approximately
the same amount. And, in fact, the
average excess of exports over im
ports for the years 1911 to 1914, in
clusive, amounted to appropimately
$550,000,000.
Status Reversed.
Our pre-war status has been com
pletely reversed. From 1915 to 1917,
inclusive, the demand of European
nations for goods was so great that at
the time of our entrance into the war
our indebtedness to European invest
ors has been more than balanced by
the excess of our exports over im
ports. After we entered the war we
loaned approximately $10,000,000,
000 to the Allies, but up to the pres
ent time they have not been able to
pay even the accumulated interest
thereon. In addition to this amount,
we have put billions more at the dis
posal of Europe through the repur
chase of quantities of American se
curities held there and by large pri
vate investments in foreign currency
and dollar bonds, as well as short-
term export credits.
The United States has thus become
the leading creditor nation, and as
soon as foreign governments are pre
pared to pay interest on their indebt
edness, we shall be entitled to re
ceive more than $500,000,000 annual
interest payments from abroad.
While this amount will be offset in
considerable degree by tourist' ex
penditures, freights, insurance, etc.,
the balance is bound to be in our
favor, even though no part of the
principal is paid. A change in the
relation of our exports to our im
ports or the reinvestment abroad of
large capital sums must be expected
if Europe s debt to us is to be liqui
dated. While it is true that the date
of such liquidation may be temporar
ily postponed through the extension
of credits and the adoption of similar
devices, it is nevertheless true that
the debt must be paid eventually in
goods, or not at all.
It is, of course, important that the
highest possible volume of export
trade should be maintained if we are
to have normal production in ou.
mines and factories and on our farms
and if we are not to be forced to
scrap part of our new productive
equipment. But an increase in im
ports does not necessitate a corres
ponding decrease in exports. It is en
tirely possible that the present rela
tion between exports and imports
may be reversed without in any way
decreasing the volume of exports.
We can buy more without selling less
and thereby enable our European
debtors to pay off their obligations
without crippling our industries or
decreasing our national wealth in
order to do so. A study of the devel
opment of foreign trade in many Eu
ropean countries will show this to be
true.
To Absorb Surplus.
During the last few years we have
increased our production of many
commodities far beyond our own ca
pacity to consume and we have been
developing foreign markets especial
ly in Latin-America, to absorb this
surplus. From such markets we Im
port many articles, some of which
are not produced in this country. If
we now limit the importation of those
goods by high tariffs we should do ir
reparable harm to our export trade i
by preventing the Tree exchange of
those commodities which our cus
tomers have to offer in payment for
what they purchase from us.
The business stagnation of today is
not due, as some advocates of high
protective duties assert, to a flood of
foreign goods competing with the
produce of our own fields and fac
tories. Moreover, in large part our
imports are non-competitive goods,
and it is in industries represented by
some of these such as coffee and rub
ber, in which stagnation is most pro
nounced at the present time. Al
though it is estimated that our ex
port trade constitutes but about 10
per cent of the total trade of the
country, it is commonly looked upon
as the outlet for our surplus produc
tive capacity of agriculture, trans
portation, and manufacture and as a
stabilizer of business. A healthy
and prosperous foreign trade has be
come of increased importance to a
great many of our citizens. . It is
consequently of serious domestic
concern.
While it is possible that a high,
protective tariff on some articles may
be proper, there is surely nothing in
our economic situation which justi
fies the adoption of a general tariff
policy that will, in effect, erect a bar
rier around our ports and isolate us
commercially.
It would seem to be equally illog
ical for Congress to endeavor to re
duce the onerous taxation burden,
which is handicapping business, if it
continues to spend the taxpayers'
money extravagantly.
Some Tax Figures.
It should be remembered that gov
ernmental expenditures for 1920 ex
ceeded those from 1791 to 1865, in
clusive, a period of 74 years. Furth
ermore, it is imperative for the tax
payers of this country seriously to
consider the fact that obligations
arising out of the recent and earlier
wars, together with the current ex
penses of the War and Navy depart
ments, constituted 92.8 per cent of
the total appropriations for 1920.
Congress has appropriated for the
military and naval establishments for
the fiscal year 1921-2 the sum of
$835,837,939. If we take these ap
propriations as fairly representative
of our annual military and naval ex
penditures in the future it will be
seen that, while Germany is paying
$26,000,000,000 as interest and
amortization of her present repara
tions obligations of 50,000,000,000
gold marks, the United States will
have expended in the same period
$30,000,000,000 for military and na
val purposes.
Germany, it should be recalled, in-
cidentatlly, has practically been re
lieved of her army and navy under
the provisions of the Treaty. She
can therefore, divert revenues and
labor that would otherwise be ex
pended for armament into more pro
ductive channels.
There would also seem to be little
use in spending billions of dollars to
create a great merchant marine and
in spending millions of more dollars
to operate it, so long as we handicap
it by laws that do not permit us to
meet foreign shipping competition
on an equal basis.
And there is imperative need for
closer co-operation among the va
rious elements of our economic struc
ture, especially in reducing produc
tion costs. We cannot revive pros
perity until the prices of other com
modities are properly adjusted to
those of primary products, particular
ly agricultural products.
As to Wages.
The readjustment of production
costs has been retarded by the fact
that wages have declined less rapid
ly than wholesale prices. The lag
ging of wage revision is characteris
tic of periods of falling prices. It is
occasioned in some part by the cor
responding failure of retail prices
promptly to follow wholesale prices
in the downwaard revision. The per
sistence of high costs of living pre
vents a more prompt readjustment of
wage scales. Nevertheless, wages
are declining and, generally speak
ing, the revision has been effected
without extraordinary resistence on
the part of the workers. As retail
prices decline the necessary wage
readjustment will be hastened, with
consequent encouragement of pro
duction and consumption.
These are only a few instances of
many which could be cited to dem
onstrate that there is as great need
for the effective co-ordination of our
economic factors while we are in the
throes of the aftermath of war, as
there was during the war which, in
the final analysis, was won more by
the close co-operation of those fac
tors than by the drums and arma
ment. lOST Log chain, between the Chs.
Hemrlch place, Sand Hollow, and Hln
ton creek. Finder please leave at this
office. H. Q. COXEN. Advertisement
The Merchant In
This Community
Did you really ever give the sub
ject of the local merchant and you
any serious thought?
Perhaps you are a loyal citizen
and patronize local shops and stores
i as a matter of loyalty, but as this is
! nnt a lf-fiirA it will Ha tin friartn tn
read this, anyhow.
If you are one of the misguided
folks who imagine you can do better
elsewhere by all means read this!
Your local merchant is first a citi
zen, a resident of your community
I the same as you are.
He lives in your community, pays
taxes along with you for the upkeep
and improvement of your communi
ty; he raises his family and sends his
children to school schools which he
helps, with you, to maintain.
If he is a butcher, he buys clothes
and shoes for his family from a fellow-merchant.
No matter' what his
line of business, he spends money
with other business men of the com
munity. He banks in local banks; he takes
his family of an evening to the local
shows.
Summed up, the money he makes
in the community is spent in it.
Were it not for your local mer
chant, there would be no schools,
no paved streets, no public buildings,
no progress nor prosperity. He is
here day in and day out, rain or
shine, giving his time and energy
and money to whatever will benefit
the district, taking part in the admin
istrations of the community or aiding
to regulate the administration for
the best interests of the community
by his vote.
HE IS A CITIZEN !
Is he not entitled, then, to consid
eration? But there is something more than
a call for your loyalty to him as citi
zen to citizen neighbor to neighbor.
Living here as he does, he comes
to know his customers. They are to
him not "just customers," but "fel
day, his business gets his personal at
he will be here tomorrow and the
next day and next year, meeting his
customers face to face, day after
his business gets his personal atten
tention every transaction is a per
sonal dealing between him and his
patron.
He in not your huge store where
thousands flock in daily, many for
the one time only. He is not your
fly-by-night get-'em-once-and-gouge-'em-good
fakir.
He is your neighbor your fellow
citizen, building for tomorrow and
next year, and fully cognizant that
the only way to build is to sell good
goods at right prices.
Your local merchant is in himselT
a guarantee of his goods and prices
and services because he is always at
the same stand meeting largely the
same customers.
He cannot exist upon the pat
ronage of transients his liveli
hood comes from permanent resi
dents; his aim is to make permanent
residents regular customers. He
must do this hence his wares, his
prices and his service are all and al
ways arranged and held to this end.
You never heard your live-wire,
wide-awake home merchant say, "Oh,
well one customer, more or less
makes no difference." Every cus
tomer, to him, is important; a new
customer is eagerly sought, and a
customer less well, your local mer
chant will not let it happen if any
thing just and reasonable under the
sun will prevent such a thing hap
pening. So not alone out of a sense of loy
alty to your community, but for your
own sake for the sake of your purse
and the satisfaction of being given
personal attention and service buy
of our home merchants. Venice
(Calif.) Vanguard.
FARMERS' PHONE LINES.
The November storm played havoc
with every farmers' telephone line
that lay in its path. Many of them
were utterly prostrated. A few of
them, though four weeks have pass
ed, have not yet been restored.
A high wind will damage any
country telephone line. When ac
companied by rain which turns to ice
as it falls, destruction is almost com
plete. To restore these lines re
quires labor and material. Both
mean so much cash.
Even if no provision had to be
made to repair storm damage, a fund
should be provided for upkeep. In
common with all other mechanical
apparatus a telephone naturally de
teriorates, therefore a charge should
be made to the users of the utility
for the purpose of keeping the sys
tem up to normal efficiency.
Very few of the fanners' lines in
Oregon have made such provision.
As a consequence the rehabilitation
of the destroyed lines called for fresh
capital, and at a time when farmers
had little or no money to spare. They
should profit by the lesson of the
November storm by creating an up
keep fund.
Experience has proved that the
least onerous way of creating a re
serve is by monthly installments a
regular overhead charge to be paid
at the same time as monthly rentals.
Authority to do this will, of course,
be granted by the Public Service
commission.
Whether it be one independent
serce is by monthly installments -a
farmers' line or a group of lines
connected by an exchange, the prin
cipal is the same. As it is now,
nearly all the farmers' lines are in
adequately financed, and it is far bet
ter that a reasonable reserve should
be systematically created than that
the owners of the line should remain
in a position where thev may he
called upon after any violent storm
to put up ca-,h to rebuild destroyed
property Portland TeUgrjin.
Gratitude.
A Midland golfer was accompanied
round the links by a very shabbily
dressed caddie. Rather touched by
this, he generously gave the boy suf
ficient money to buy a new outfit.
The recipient tried to express his
gratitude. "Oh, that's all right, my
boy!" said the benefactor cheerily.
"Say nothing. Be a good lad that's
all." But the caddie could no longer
restrain himself. "Please, sir," he
burst out, "I'm sorry you're such a
rotten player!" London Morning
Post.
Something For All.
Two farmers in an English coun
try inn had managed to get hold of a
newspaper. One held it and they
both devoured it. And some time
one of them muttered :
"Marvelous things, them newspa
pers. Cater to every taste. Some
thing for every one."
"Yes," said the other, "but wnat's
that kind of blank space?"
He pointed to the space at the foot
of the stop press news.
"Oh, that," said the first airily,
that be for them as can't read."
Chicago Herald and Examiner.
Not a Jackass, Exactly.
Two colored gentlemen were en
gaged in conversation when one of
them became very much annoyed by
the persistent attention of a large fly.
"Sam, whutkin'aflyamdis?" "Dat
am a hoss-fly. A hoss-fly am a fly
whut buzzes 'roun' eows V hosses
'n' jackasses " "You ain' makin'
out to call me no jackass?" "No, I
ain't makin' out for to call you no
jackass, but you caint fool dem hoss
fiies." Argonaut.
Long Life Assured.
Brown was the possessor of very
large feet and a very bad cough. He
entered a shoe store and the young
clerk turned the place upside down
to find something to fit him. Brown
had just tried on the fortieth pair
when he started coughing.
"Nasty cough!" said the assistant.
"Yes," gasped Brown. "Doctor
says I've got one foot in the grave."
"I shouldn't worry," said the as
sistant. "You'll never get the other
in; it's too big!" Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
Fitting Her.
The portly Irishman waddled into
the shop.
"What can I do for you," asked the
salesman.
"Oi want a motor car," said the
Irishman. "A first-class ottymobile."
"Is it for yourself, sir?"
"Sure ye're inquisitive, but if ye
must know, 'tis for me woife."
"Long body, sir?"
"Listen to the man!" exclaimed
Pat. "Long body? Begorra, no!
She's built like a barrel, same as me.
But phwat's that got to do wi' it?"
Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
A visiting Britisher tells of a cei-
tain vicar who had long been eager
to see an extension of the parish
burying ground. At last his wish was
gratified. Soon after the opening he
felt called upon to speak a few words
of condolence to a widower who was
placing a tribute of flowers.
uood afternoon, my dear sir,
said the vicar, approaching breezily,
"good afternoon!" Then gazed
around in a contented wav. "Our
new cemetery," he continued, "seems
to be filling up nicely." Washington
Herald.
C. E. Woodson, one of the attor
neys for the plaintiffs in the suit of
the Northern Pacific Railway Com
pany, et al, against the directors of
the John Day Irrigation District, F.
A. McMenamin, F. R. Brown, et al,
went over to Pendleton Monday to
be present at the trial of the case be
fore Judge Phelps on Tuesday.
NEW BUSINESS
NAPOLEON
1
J
1
This is George K Culp, of New
York, who is the father of a new
system of selling merchandise
which has opened the eyes of the
ration's captains of finance. He
has goods made in mass to sell al
retail, particularly in auto tires, ami
his system enables him to sell much
cheaper, at the same time making
money for everybody concerned;
from the manufacturer down to the
user of the tires. ' Culp is no hof.
He is the moving genius in 12(XI
stores in America, but owns only
one-fifth interest in any store. He,
however, triples the profits of .the,
main owner of a store.
I R. JMh .rM"At J
f I J
f W 1
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