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Tuesday, December 20. 1921
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' PAGE FIVE
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Unkind r.ia;ci;,,i:.
Rosamund always insists on running
the games, so one day Jeannette got'
tired of it, and came upstairs, mad as
could be, threw down her hat, and
said: "I just am not going to plav
with her any more, for she never will
let me e the mother. She alwavs
Makes me be the papa or the dog"'
Apt Illustration.
Freddie had come Into possession
of a dog something he had always
wanted. He and the dog were insep
arable. Conrad asked him to his birth
day party. He hesitated, but finally
said: "I'd like to go first rate, if I
can take my dog along. Where 1 go
he goes. It's just like we were twins."
Christmas Candies
BIG VALUES FOR LITTLE MONEY
THE CASH VARIETY STORE
GRAY SILVER
' i
The Tangled Skein
Untangled by the Herald
Bell Hop
Gray Silver is the Washington rep.
resentative of the American Farm
Bureau federation with over a million
farmer members.
ffr
5 F !
O h! Goody!
Mamma is going to buy Our
Christmas candy at the
FOUNTAIN of SWEETS
Right now we are showing an especially
large assortment of Home Made Candies
And it is the candy that the Kiddies like
because it lasts longer and tastes better
than than any other kind.
We have it ready packed in boxes and
cans or by the pound, which ever way
you want it.
Fountain of Sweets
Men who claim to know something
about astronomy are not agreed as to
whether this Christmas moon is a dry
or a wet one.
The hen keeps on advertising her
product, and look where the price
ha sgone. Now if Mr. Burbank will
come forward and graft! some sort of
a phonograph attachment to a wheat,
stalk the farmer.s will have some
thing to be thankful for.
It isn't necessary to read it in the
newspapers. Anyone who travels on
the railroad these days can tell they
ar running with about half force.
Now that there are prospots of
Henry Ford buying a bunch of battle
ships and expects to use the sileol in
the construction of his product, it is
said that junk dealers have refused
to pay anyllhing for tin cans.
A lot of people said Fatty Arbuclile
would never "come back" but he's
more than half way back right now
and so long as his women admirers
stic'k, Kaldy wont have much of any
thing to worry about but his income
tax.
"A complete funeral for $75," says
a headline in aPortlnnd paper. That
makes one less thing for some people
to worry about.
Some people seem to tlhink that
the "limitation of arms" will cost
more tthan a fair sized war, and even
if it does it will be cheap.
Onl y about 2 per cent; of the boot
leg liquor that) is being sold is fit to
drink, saysa statistician. Then
comes another and says that more
than that per cent is used and it's
whatt you use that makes you go
quick."
Some girls are determined to show
their beauty regardless of where it
is.
Pull the spurs off a fighting cock
nd what is he good for? Some
people are wondering where all the
naval soldiers will work when there's
none of their kind of work to be done
done.
What Women Think
By Mary, the Girl Reporter
Ar teecher give us a long lecklure
on the neswssitty of savin las Mun
dy and it had its eri'eckt. The boy
who sits rite ahead of me in skule
has already started to save. I look
ed at his neck, lies savin soap.
Paw awlmost got put in jale on
Toosdy. He had ben helpin a boot
legger save a jug of hoam mailt; lik-
ker what had broko and he dident
dare to kum home to euppir. He
went Into the restauarnt and oarder-
ed pie allamoad. When the waiter
brot it out he looted at it an Bed he
dident want the vanishin cream on it.
When they pulled paw out from'un
der the waiter he looked so pitiful
that the policeman Bed he gest he
woodent put him in jale as there
wasent any operatin room.
Ant lucy who was reedin the pap
er Mundy nito sed she sean where
the krismus splrrit was abroad erly
thia seeson an paw lie ses he noes It
is too becawse he sean tb jugs of it
Another Version.
The evil that men do lives after
them; the good Is oflcri mlxi'onst rned
by the attorney for the oilier side.
Southeast Mlssourlan.
Our Store is Headquarters for Correct
Christmas Presents
See Our Extensive Display of
Pyralin and Ivory Sets Dolls, Toys, Games, Boohs,
Fountain Pens, Stationery and liodahs
HUMPHREYS DRUG COMPANY
come into Heppner Sundy nite.
A meeting of the basket ball team
was held las nite an it was decided
that the baskitb wood be made to
times as big as they are now at pre
sent. I ast maw Sundy why it was nes
sessary for me to go to school every
day and then m sundy skule on Sun
dy an she sed if there was ate days
in the week an thair was skule every
day that I woodent be gettin enny to
mutch.
Lecktlure korse speeker sed in his
tawk the uther nite that the avrage
man was cawt like the average mouse
an ever sints then our teecher has bin
waring a ntous tirap on her rist in
stead of her watch.
I'nkel Ike ses that as times is pur
ty hard this jeer his fambly aint go
ing to have enny krismus this yeer
and will have to krismusses nextl
year.
Are techcr ast Delvin Adkins to
rite a poem about santy claus an he
he sed he cuddent becawse potes wur
boarn not maid.
Currier ses kullered men maid bet
ter kavelry solgers becawse they had
better command of the gallopln
bones.
Paw sse he noes he can by moar
for a dollar now than he cud a yeer
ago onlie he had a dollar then to try
it wilth an now he aint got enny.
Christmas Greetings
Allow us to extend to
you our heartiest and
best wishes for a most
Merry Christmas. May it
find you prosperous and
happy.
Lloyd Hutchinson
' (ty Ilk.
imp
Christmas
Candies
Christmas is not Christ
mas without a plentiful
supply of good candies for
both the children and the
grownups.
fYnd you can relish the Can
ty ylt Ket here because you
now it is pure. Jt wont
utrt the children to eat all
'hey want of it. ,
MimIo from Mm purest and Ik-mI, ingreditiitN our Candy Is both
Tempi rig and llcalllilul.
We Don't Sell Cheap Made Candies, But We Do
Sell High Grade Candies Cheap.
R. M. HART
Lots of GOOD Smokes
Will Make it a Real
Christmas for Him
Order a Box of Our
Christmas Cigars
Today. We Guarantee They Will Give HIM
Pleasure
McAtee & Aihen