Tuesday, November 8, 192 1
THEHEPPNER HERALD, HEPPNER. OREGON
PAGE FIVE
Why Some Husbands Go Insane.
A man went home the other evening
and found his house locked up. After
a deal of trouble he climbed In the
window and found on the table a note
from his wife. "I have gone to the
movies." It read, "and you'll find the
key on the side of the doorstep."
When the Blind "See."
Persons who have been stricken
blind after once having enjoyed the
sense of sight invariably "see" in
their dreams, and it would scm that
they see very vividly, for they say
that they "see" things In their dreams
that their eyes have never beheld.
Trouble and Triplets
Come in Bunches
We don't pretend to know any more about triplets
than as mentioned above, and your troubles will be fewer
and farther between if you will let us CLEAN, PRESS
and take care of your soiled garments.
"Efficiency" is our first name and "Service" is our
middle name.
You look, feel, act and ARE clean when you let us
work on your clothes.
LLOYD HUTCHINSON
We Don't Play Well
on a Shoe Horn
but give us a monkey wrench or a screw driver and we can
make music that sounds swell to an automoblie or motor of
any kind.
Ours is a real auto repair shop and if you have any doubts,
try to choke our cylinder with any thing in the line of auto or
motor work and we'll show some speed that will make Jack
Dempsey look like an Indian cigar sign.
We please you because it pleases us to do so.
Heppner Garage Machine Shop
PATRICK & LaTU'SIRK, Props.
Phone 82
What Women Think
By Mary, the Girl Reporter
I got nex to the hed of the gogg
fy class yesterdy. Teecher had
us awl stand in a sircle. But enny
way goggerphy is easey.
Sum people thinks hallowean lasts
onlie 1 nite but thair are 4 or 5 of
the boys in are skule who are still
in bed following the nite out.
Are debatin sissiety was goin. to
debait on the followin kwestin nex
weak "resoalved that rale road men
shood not strike" but teecher sed may
be that kwestin had been bebaited on
enuff so we will speek on the kwes
tin, "Shall thair be piece now or lat
er." Ant Lucy told me the uther day
that I ot to at least come my hare
offen enuff to keep the cob webs out
but I seen whare thare was a web
wreaved all over teachers head an if
she can stand it I otto cood.
Paw thinks now that Thanksgivin
will pass of very quiet as moast of
the stills have quit bisness on acct of
the intelligent snoopin around of (he
the officers in this here part of the
visinity.
Maw wayed herself yesterdy and
found she wayed egsactly 2131bs. I
have lade awy 2 pares of maws stock
ins an will hang them up on Krist
mas nite.
Delvin Adkins doant speak to me
this weak. I was sittin on his lap
las Friday nite and when I got up his
pet garter snake was dead. But he
doant nead to think he has the onlie
lap in the world. Ner the onlie snake.
Besides its no place to carry a snake.
I am sittin close to Margaret His
ler in hie skule this yeer an I gess
thair aint enny dowt but what I will
graduate. Margaret is a verry brite
girl an tends stricktly to her studys.
Are docter ses footbawl is a verry
helthy game an paw ses he aint so
old but what he remembers that the
salune keepers ust to say beer and
whiskey was absolutely nesesary to
promoat life.
Until they invent siggerets which
awl the smoak can be swallowed, sig
garets are not goin to be popular in
are skule. I tried one at rcses Mun
day and was sittin behind a big pile
of leeves which had bin rakd togeth
er. The teecher seen the smoak and
came running out with a pale of wat-
ter and likto drownded me. I also
staid with her a fue minuets after
skule Munday nite.
The Ladys ade will not meet nex
Wensdy as ant Lucy has sent her
hare away to have it colored a dark
er brown. It proberbly be back for
the nex meetin which will be held as
per usual.
The Tangled Skein
Untangled by the Herald
Bell Hop
You've Eaten the Rest
Now Try the Best
We never tried to kid ourselves into believ
ing that any old kind of groceries will sell here.
We found out, early in life, that one eats to live
so if they eat the best, they live to enjoy it for a
much longer time.
And the pure food law has no terrors for us.
"NEAT, CLKAN AND TASTY," is our motto,
and when the inspector comes in and takes a
slant at our display he knows he has no business
hanging around here. We have the kind of gro
ceries, canned goods, etc., that you want and
we do not ask a higher price than you want to
pay.
Phelps Grocery
Company
The hue and cry seems to be:
"Make the dollar go farther," but
hanged if we don't seem to have
made ours go as far as human ingen
uity could make it.
With the right recent rail road
strike season, and the present foot
ball season, some of the fans have
more than they can attend to and do
it right.
Since it got to be a fad the bloom
er baseball girls probably wouldn't
draw as large a crowd as they did
when the bloomers were seldom seen.
Ebeueezer Spoopendyke says the
only way they'll burn corn in Minn
esota is to run it through a long,
slender coiled tube, made of copper.
It burns then coming and going.
Many a father who gave his col
lege son a fountain pen that he might
write home, has wished that he had
given him a nail to write with and
then changed his own address.
There aren't as many glass houses
as there formerly were, and night
watch Currier is of the opinion that if
there were more glass houses there
would be fewer "going's on" that
would be deleted by the censor.
If a man hustles all the time,
some of his friends will later make
the remark that he carried a rabbits
foot in his pocket.
The woman with the petite figure
is generally the one who keeps her
dearly devoted figuring a good share
of the time to make the two ends
meet.
A lot of women who claim to be
very fond of pets do not Include their
husbands. And a lot of husbands
are not worrying about it. They
probably have at least one pet that
they can lay claim to a part of the
time.
Congress probably could do more
if it wasn't required to write so many
letters to constituents, telling why it
has not been exposed to income tax.
Some people are going to be so busy
trying to think of getting something
to be thankful for that they are going
to overlook some ot tneir bills, this
month.
An exchange tells of two men who
were describing their cars. One man
said his car was brown, trimmed in
black'and the other said his car was
all black and he was the one who got
trimmed.
The man that really and truly
wants a little "moonsine" is not go
ing to have to be told to do his
ChrlBtmas shopping early.
If railroad traffic had been tied up
on the day it was supposed to, there
would be plenty of people who would
have had to eat turkey for Thanks
giving because it would have been
hard to get anything else.
Sam Notson says that one tangle
which needs untangling in this town
is how to get a quorum out to a pub
lic meeting. Being a pretty good un
tangler himself, Sam suggests that
the Commercial club, the Civic club,
the Red Cross and the Fire company
call a Joint meeting and If the nec
essary number for a quorum turns
out that they proceed to do business
for all the organizations. Sam
thought at first of asking the John
Day Irrigation district to come into
the deal but Is afraid the two boards
of directors might combine and job
the meeting. If this scheme works
out we may fire the bell hop ami
give Sam a permanent job as official
untangler for the Herald.
THE CASH VARIETY STORE
Stamped Towels, Pillow Slips and Night Gowns
CLOTHES BASKETS 75c $1.25, $1.50 and $1.75
KIDDIE KARS $2.00 and $2.50
DOLLS 5c to $3.50.
Asbestos mats for the Table at
BIG VALUES FOR LITTLE MONEY
2?
:
HARDMAN
v
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A play entitled 'A Case of Aint"
will be given by the upper classmen
of the High School English classcB
November 10th. The play Is being
coached by Miss Virginia Fltrherbert
the English Instructor. The play Is
one of the means employed In the ob
servance of national Better Spi-eeh
Week. Tags are also being used to
show mistakes made by pupils In
English. Two teams are competing
for honors.
Mr. and Mrs. Bert Bleakman en
tertained at cards on Friday evening
in honor of their eighteenth wedd
ing anniversary.
The Parent-Teachers association
ha made arrangements for obtain
ing a state circulating library for
Hard man residents. Many good
books of fiction, classics and history
will be available.
The Ladles Aid will meet Friday,
November II, at two o'clock at the
home of Mrs. Coates.
Seeding Time
W tV tV V tVW WW tf C tf
Seeding time is here again and to get the
best results you will need the best you can get in
the way of
iiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiitiiiii
Drills and Harrows
We will supply you yith these or any other
implements you may need at
Prices that are Right
BIUIUKIIIIIIUIUIIIIIIIIUI
Every thing in Hardware
and Implements
muiiHitiinimuMHira
Gilliam & Bisbee
'We Have It. Will Get It, or It is Not Made."
Thn Why B Truthfulf
Mo man believe everything he'
told; no womao believe anything h
bar.
pisAPi'oi.vntKvr
You feel disappointed if, after ly
ing awake for an hour orthvo in the
morning, waiting for daylight to al
most come, and while you are lying
there vou are thinking you will have
bacon and scrambled eggs, waffles
and honev and a cup of the best cof
fee on earth and when you sit down
in breakfast you find you have none
of the things placed before you thall
you had your heart set on having.
But you eat, and alter you Have
finished eating you find you have
filled a seemingly long felt want, am
thnnirh von are disappointed, you had
a meal tliat answered fhe purpose,
what more could mortal man want.'
On the the other hand wewant to
tell of a kind of disappointment
which can be overcome. Suppose yon
are going to hold a sale farm, mer
chandise or other and during the
days preceding the sale you are kid-
rtlnir Yourself Into believing that you
could coax a crowd to the salt! with
out going to the expenwe ot advertis
ing it.
Sale dav conies and the crowd
doesn't. You wonder for a short
neriod of time what ran be the mat
ter and finally one of your friends
drons In and says: "Say, I didn t nee
your sale adverllsed In the Herald."
Yon tell him sheepishly Hint you are
trying to save a little expense, but
you find that it has cost you many
dollars. You went to the trouble
of getting ready for the sale, all but
the one item ot advertising, and you
find that the one lu-in you have
slighted Is the one Item that would
have made the sal a success.
It is natural to suppose tlhat the
Herald must collect a fee for adverti
sing, but those who have paid that
fee are the fellows who will tell
vnn fliat advertising Is Just as nece-
sary as having the goods you are ad
vertising for sale.
The Herald wants to help you, not
only by printing the bill where
there are any and running the ad
vertlsmenets. but wantfe to help you
get copy ready. Phone ub at any
time yet. We've never laid down on
the Job yet.
Bullfrog Stuck to Machine.
A big bullfrog, although uninvited,
took a ride In in airplane In the Phil
ippines, and the pilot was nimble t
spill hlrn out Into the atmosphere even
though he performed all the stunt of
an aerial clrms.
NOTK.'K OK H.VAIj A(' OINT
Notice Is hereby given that the un
dersigned, Executor of the Last Will
and Tetament of Emma Kllcup, de
ceased ha Sled hi final account
with the County Court of Morrow
County, Oregon and that said court
has fixed Wednesday, Hie 7th day ot
December, 1!)21, at 10 o'clock A. M.
as the time and the County Court
Room at the Court house In Hepp
ner, Oregon, as the place for hear
ing said final account and any ob
jections thereto, and the settlement
of the estate of said deceased.
WALTER KILCUP,
28-32 Executor.
NOTICI4 OK KHKItUWH 8AI,K
By virtue of an execution and or
der of salo duly issued by the cleric
of the Circuit Court of the State of
Oregon, for the county of Morrow on
the 19th day of September, 1321, In
a certain suit In said County and
State, wherein, Missouri Jordon,
plaintiff recovered judgemen t
against R, N. Wndo and May M.
Wade, his wife, defendants, for the
sum of $500.00 with Interest there
on at the rate of 8 per cent per an
num from the 8 1 h day of November
1!)1!), and the further sum of $14.1)3
with Interest thereon at the rate of
6 per cent per annum from the 28th
day of February, 1921, and the fur
ther sum of $7 5.01) at tommy's fees
iiiiid the further sum of $52.70 costs,
together with all cents and accruing
costs, which Judgement was render
ed on the 14th day of June, 19 2 1.
Notico Is hereby given I hat I will
on Saturday the 2filh day of Novem-
her, 1921 at the hour of 2 o'clock In
the afternoon of said day si ll at pub
lic auction, at the front door of the
County Court house, In Heppner Ore
gon, for cash In hand, the following
described real properly to wit: Lot
three (3) and four (4) In Block
throe (3) duff's eighth addition to
the town of lone, Oregon, thence
South 100 feet, thence East 100 foet,
thenco North 90 feet, thence West
100 feet, to the place of beginning,
taken, levied upon as tho
property of the said defen
dants It. N. Wade and May
M. Wade, his wife, being the proper
ty mortgaged by said defendants to
secure the Hums aforesaid, and ord
ered sold by tho Court to satisfy the
same, or so much thereof as may bo
necessary to satisfy suld Judgement
In favor of said Missouri Jordon,
plaintiff against said defendants, R.
N. Wade and May M. ..Wade, hln
wife, together with all costs that
have accrued or may accrue In said
matter.
CEO. McDUFFEE,
Sheriff of Morrow County, Oregon
Dated this 24th day of October,
1)21.
Flrt publication November 8th,
1921.
Last publication, December 6th,
1921. i'-