Tuesday, Tulv 26. 1921
THE HEPPNER HERALD, HEPPNER. OREGON
PAGE FIVE
It's Time Now To Go Down And Hear Old
Ocean Roar
Plunge into the surf, dig clams, fish, hunt, play, rest and get
the real joy that only a beach vacation can give.
Juet remember what a week or two will do for you at
NORTH BEACH
CLATSOP BEACH
TILLAMOOK BEACHES
or NEWPORT
If there is any doubt which one to visit ask our agent for
"Outings in the Pacific Northwest"
and "Oregon Outdoors"
They tell the whole story. Their-pack your trunk and pur
chase a Hound Trip Summer Excursion Ticket via the
UNION PACIfIC SYSTEM
Insuring that most wonderful trip
down through the Columbia River
Gorge. Let our agent tell you all
about it, arrange your itinerary and
make your reservation.
C. DAUB EE, Agent,
Heppner, Oregon
Win. MeMuiray, Ciehieral Passenger Agent
Portland, Oregon.
Where you get service
and workmanship
mm
Lloyd Si
ytehioson
TAILORING
Cleaning, Pressing, Dyeing, Repairing
Two Of The
Outstanding Reasons
For success in business are courteous
ness and the exercise of sound business prin
ciples. These have made many successes
with the aid of good banking connections.
We render our customers the best service
possible.
Their success is our success.
Farmers & Stockgrowers
National Bank
HEPPNER, OREGON.
Uncle Walfe
BRIMMER SCORES
By ETHEL M. HALL.
Think Tnia Over.
"De man dat insists on huvln' his
own way," said Uncle Kben, "some
times winds up by havin' dat an' noth
in' else."
Fortification.
, Host Look hire. old man, ray wife
want you to take Mi.- I'tttle in to din
tier. She lias Just written au essay oil
the "Cosmic lge," so I advise you
to have a couple more cocktails. Life.
Various Storm Warning,.
Flower. ,rec, in4 .growing
Plan;, cd out storm warnings. Cer
tan Plants ami flower, , lose up tight
'y on the approach of rain. They give
mi'ie warning. The common damle
";n il this, anri also the leave, of
he white clover. The silver leaf pop
r give., fir H Urn.l2 ,)f ran ()V (()s,
ln the silver tinder ,e f l g leave
upward continuously.
GENTLE CORRECTION
ii pCLSIFEB seems mighty touchy,"
observed the retired merchant.
"He was talking to me this morning
and shooting holes through the king's
English in his usual reckless way. I
called his attention to a few of his
grammatical errors.
Instead of being
grateful he shook
his fist under my
nose, and said that
for three sous he
would push my
face through the
back of my head. I
can't understand
that sort of con
duct. I'd thank any
man who would
correct me Then I
make errors in my
speech."
Ill Sk hnrn von
would," commented the hotelkeeper.
"Sou think you put up a fine line of
English when you are talking. You
are satisfied you never make any bad
breaks, so feel safe in snvino- vn
would welcome criticism, but if some
snarp who is wise to all the fancy
curves of the language came along,
and showed you where you get off, you
wouwn t wring his hand in an ecstasy
of gratitude. No. doirirone It vnn
would climb on his person and discolor
one or his eyes.
"If there's any man makes me tired
and sore, it's the one who calls me
down when I am speaking a piece, and
tells me I am making Lindley Murray
roll over in his grave. I don't mind if
there are only two of us present at the
time, but when there are innocent by
standers around I get all worked up
and Insist upon a hand to hand con
flict. No good sport would do such a
thing. If you don't like the way I
talk, you can pass up this hotel wiion
making your daily rounds. If you
must hand me a package of criticism
or admonition, send it by mail. Then
I can road it in the privacy of my own
bed room, and there won't be anybody
around to raise a horse laugh.
"My education was sadly neglected
when I was young. I wont to school
only a few months and everything I
learned was wrong, fr the' teacher
was a farmer who took up educational
work as a recreation when the weather
prevented him from cultivating his
beans. The little I know I accumulat
ed by reading the newspapers and a
few dime novels'.
"Consequently Lam always taking a i
fall out of th languasre. T nvr nnni,i
wise myself to the tine points of gram
mar, ana It was only recently I quit
saying 'I done it,' and 'I have went.'
Every now and then an aleck stops me
.11 u.e miauie or a discourse and shows
me where I am wrong, and if there is
any way of getting even with that man
I always do. There was a drummer
ror a snoe house who used to fremient
this place. I took a liking to him, and
always gave htm the heist rnnm ,.i
saw that hlg eggs were fresh from the
vines, and looked after bis comfort
generally.
"One day I was telling him a story,
and he stopped me Just when I was
approaching the peroration, and began
to explain the difference between
'shall' and 'will.' It seemed that I al
ways used one of these words when I
should have used the other, and in the
goodness of his heart he explained the
whole business to me. When he had
made everything clear he asked me to
finish my story, but I told him, In a bit
ing sort of way, that I might wound
him to the quick by misplacing a few
more words, so I would spare him that
infliction.
"Then he saw he was in bad, and be
began telling me how he always liked
to be corrected, and he took It for
granted that others felt the same way
about it and the more ha tulku,! tha
lees use I had for Jiim.
'He registered here miinv Hmea tt.
er that, always got the worst room' In
tne house and If there was iriii.
larly tough steak on hand, it went to
him. He tried his hardest to square
himself, and was always looking at
me, hoping to see a winning smile on
my cnaste lips, but he never got any
thing but the arctic glare, and I sup
pose he's kicking himself, even to this
day, because be made that break. And
ir you want to queer yourself with all
your friends, you'll keep up this thing
or telling people of their mistakes."
A Shrewd Man.
Patron Why do you have such
poor music In your restaurant?
Proprietor It relieves the pressure
Dy giving the people something be
sides the food to find fault with.
Boston Transcript.
Tha Caaa.
Lecturer "Things have come to a
pretty pass when my description of the
constellations are made to give way
on the program to the so-called Dog
star." Htage Manuger "Sure, that la
a Sirius matter."
Like the Rett
A little neighbor girl was at our
house when a bride of two months
came In. Our conversation was about
the wedding. "On," said the little girl,
"so you got married with a curtain
on your head, tio."
(' 13S1' by Mcciur. N.p.p,r srndlcat.'j
Brimmer was In high spirits. The
Kas ver. aud he had scored
a success, a ereat huccm u. k.j
not known until the last lingering
""3 ins vtoun had melted away.
" we nusned, tense silence that
followed was suddenly broken by a
wild crash of applause, how success
ful ue nau Deeu.
He slipped into his overcoat, tucked
his violin under his arm nnri nrin.
the stage door, passed out into the
u'fcur. it was cold and clear. The
crowd from the concert nnsstnr h.
under the bright street lights seemed
gayer and louder than ever.
He drew In a long breath of the
keen sharp air. Yes! it was good to
ve, good to do great things, to be
somebody! He would write to the
folks at home and tell them of his
success; no, he would cable. The
news would reach them sooner. But
he had almost forgotten he must
tell .Minna first.
And, after all, had It not been the
thought of Minna that had urged him
10 succeed Tonight be would tell
her. She would lie pleased to hear
of his success, she would think bet
ter of him. Perhaps, Brimmer thought,
she would slap her hands in that odd
ny sue has aud say simply.
"Ach, es tut mir leid sehr leld 1"
A smile spread over Brimmer's
lace and he struck out down the
street humming concert airs under
ins ureatn. He thought only of three
things: His success, that was tinner-
most, of Minna, and of the folly of
an unwritten social law that built up
barriers between classes and con
demned social relations between those
classes.
A frown puckered his brow as he
wondered what his father and mother
and sister would think If they kuew
about Minna. Minna, the daughter of
a German shopkeeper, and lie the
son of u proud old English family
whose name wns honored in social
and political cirlces. But ' Brimmer
was not in the mood to tolerate un
pleasant thoughts, so he dismissed
them.
He loved Minna! She had never
confessed to loving him, but then, she
had smiled and tallied much, and
had even encouraged him by her little
iiiitalions. I'l-om the llrsl Brimmer
had boon attracted to -Minna from
the day when he had discovered old
Kroegcr's little restaurant In the nar
row street, bijjlnd his lodging Minna
was I here. She was pluinp ami pret-
iy, nor eyes were dark und fringed
witli long lashes, and in her hair she
wore a red flower. She smiled at
Brimmer, and lingered awlille nfiet
she had brought him his meal. After
that he went every day lo the res
taurant In the narrow street. And
every day he saw Minna Minna!
Oh, yes, she loved him she must
love him. He had so much to give
tier now. Even before she would
have been glad to have him but now,
after bis success! He smiled to him'
self he was sure of himself. To
night he was sure of everything ! He
did not care what his mother or the
rest of bis family would think of
Minna. He knew what he thought
that wns all that mattered. He would
ask Minna tonight. He was a man,
a successful mau; he would care for
Minna and himself.
Brimmer turned into the narrow
street. In Kroeeer's restaurant th
tables were deserted, except one where
an old man sat dozing over his beer
glass. Brimmer looked around for
Minna. She was not there, perhaps
she was back in the "kuche." He sat
liown at one of the tables In a cor
ner and walled. For the first time
he noticed that tho place seemed dif
ferent. There were fewer tables, the hang
ings hod been removed, In one corner
nailed boxes were plied high. Kroeger
was cleaning up, or getting ready for
renovations. Brimmer thoinrht. Not
such a bad Idea, either.
The door at the hack of the restnn.
rant opened. Victor Kroeger, fat, dis
heveled and almost enveloped In an
untidy apron, crossed to Brimmer's
table. He was flushed, excited, and
Brimmer wondered If he had heard of
Ills success and if he were going to
congratulate him. But he did not.
Instead he broke Into the had English
that he always Insisted upon using
whi'ii speaking to Kfiirllihmen to
show off, Brimmer thought.
"Ach, It Iss you, Ilerr Irlinnir? Vor
such a long time haf I riot seen you.
You vlll not mind d!s " he Indi
cated the chaotic condition of his
shop. "You see, it iss ve vlll be here
nlcht mehr. Tomorrow ve go avay.
A bedder place for us vlll it he dere."
Brimmer started. Yesterday when
he had seen Minna stie hud not told
him about this. Then he remembered
sudiWnly that Minna never sMke to
him of herself or her family. He
asked weakly:
"You are moving away? Where?
And Minna? Is. Minna going with
you?"
Kroeger looked at Brimmer with
surprise. "Minna? Haf you not heard?
She haf not told you? Neln? Ach, die
bebllng! Minna she Iss already avay.
She Iss married last evening. He Iss
Eric, und be helped me to cook here,
lie Mil keep ein wlrthshau, uud
Minna, she vlll help him. Adi, Herr
Brimmer, (lev luf ench ii,1,.r lev l
sehr happy! Ci,d nun, van kan I do
for you? I haf not much to glf you
only sauerkraut und beer since It Laa
dat t must go avay tomorrow."
Florence Oil Stove
Asbestos Wick
Bakes Boils
Roasts Toasts
Cook in a cool kitchen
Peoples
Hardware Co.
Hay and Harvest
MACHINERY
WE Carry the famous
9
C
Mowers, Rakes, Headers,
Binders, and Threshers.
Better look up your repair needs
Now and avoid costly delays
after you start cutting.
GILLIAM & BISBEE
"We Have it Will Get it Or it is Not Made"
"Rockie" Can Now Show His $20,000 Cash
rvKH MOINKS, IA. Six weekH Bgo
mJ two men nmieiirarl ui iiiii'u
In f)es Moines. One displayed a star
and a commitment miner for I m nu 1 1
l The other held a stack of bunk checks
i a foot high. "Another crazv fish rr
you, doctor," said the officer lo the
guard.
"Klsh, eh?" snickered the patient
with the checks. "Say, young mini, I
have a checking account of $I7,ixk,
lX). I want to buy the state of Iowa.
Mow much?"
The guards named the newcomer
"MorgHnfeller." lo few days lie be.
came acquainted with an Inmate called
"Kockle."
"Say, Itockle," said MorgHnfeller,
"I g'rt some dough, I have. Look,
f 'hecks. Certified rheck.l. Worth tIT.
iXHUnn). Iiou't you wish you wu rich,
Itockle?"
"Listen, Morg." said Itockle "T it
cash. Twenty thousand In cash bet
ter than all your checks. I'll show
you some day."
Three week ago the same sheriff
appeared Ht the entrance with anoth.r
patient. The newest arrival wore
paper hat, fashioned after the style of
napoleon. He carried a broomstick.
Koon "Nap" was riding hi broomstick
all over the place. One day lie rode
between Itockle and MorgaiifclliT.
"Want to sell your tor r'" asked
Morg?"
"You fellow haven't am money
glddap," said "Nap," gall, .plug off.
"I'll show you my morie some day,"
said "Itockle" to "Morir."
By and by "Morg" torn np tils check
and "Nap" threw down his broom.
They went to the headquarter of the
asylum, gave their names ns K. Blhti
and V. V, O'Brien, operatlw-s of h de
fective agency.
"Wo want to give 'Rockie' a Hmnro
to show us his money," na ;d iln-v. "He
Is Harry I. Tlsdiile, and be is v,,inted
In Chicago. He's a crook. 11,- cimIjcz
zled $'M,2HH as former aicli'or of the
Manufacturers' Junction rail way."
Meaning of Feverlah Dream.
To dream von loivw u rbU.
i "' "'"t you will excite thi envy of
our friends; also difficult! with you
I lovef.
Logical Habit.
"Why Is It that muslclai - hm-e mwh
long hair?" "I suppose ilo.y think
they ought to have plenty .,! uH ki to
mutch their keys."