PAGE SIX
FINALLY REACHED HIS POINT
Lawyer's Flowery Eloquence Turned
Out to Be Prelude to Very
Simple Request
Norman Untiirooi, tbe now minister
to Denmark, was talking about a
whitewashing cuse.
"The cose reminds me," lie said, "of
Pletro Llhertlni, a scion of sunny
Italy, who was on trial for a ninnler
ous nssault. His lawyer defended him
ID this manner :
"'Your honor,' the lawyer hcg:in,
my client, hignor Pletro UlieriLiI,
comes from Italia la Bella, land of 10-
rnance, art and Immortal literature.
He comes, your honor, from the sun-
mssea nome of the Illustrious Michel
angelo ISuonarottl, of the divine Kuf
faello and the undylne Dunte Alltrhicrl.
He comes from the olive-crowned
birthplace of Tasso, Ariosto and the
humorous Boccaccio. His home Is
Italia, prolific mother of art and scl
ence, progenitrix of Oalvani and Gnlr
leo Galilei.'
"After the lawyer had cone on In
this strain for about an hour the
Judge began to get impatient.
'"What has ull this got to do with
the caser he finally asked.
"'My poor words,' said the Inwyer,
are by way of preface. Mv client.
from immortal Italy, home of the
painter and the sculptor, humbly
prays this court to apply to him the
very lowest form of pictorial art. He
prays, your honor, to be white
washed.' "
BIRD APARTMENTS RENT FREE
Orchardista Seek to Encourage the
Woodpecker to Settle In Their
Midst, as It Were.
It may soimd like u joke to speak
of the manufacture of woodin-eker
nests, but there Is uclually a factory
in Maine that takes many orders: for
Bueli nests.
The blnlhouses are constructed of
pine blocks 15 Inches long and from
Ave to six Inches In diameter. The
hack of the block is squared to per
mit of the patent adjustment being
properly attached to the tree or placed
where the house Is to be located, a
canopy or top piece to keep out the
weather being made like a roof. A
perfect nest Is drilled by a reamer.
Within three inches of the bottom a
corkscrew Indentation Is made to 1 lie
bird entrance, as the toes of the wood
pecker are in pairs, two before and
two behind, with sharp, strong claws,
the whole structure of (he foot making
it adaptable for climbing.
The houses are sold to orchard
owners, as the claim Is made' by the
ornithologists that the woodpecker's
feed consists chlclly of Insects and
their larvae, which Ihe birds ret hv
ligglng Into the bark and wood of
trees. The woodpecker's tongue is an
Important Instrument In obtaining
Its feed, as It can be extended far be
yond the bill, its tip being horny and
furnished with n barbed filament.
UK KS I Xt UKASE SHAM ELKSSI.Y
Changes Planes In Mld-Alr.
The daring maneuver of Jumping
from one airplane to another while
In full lllght was recently n upllsh-
'l by a lieutenant of aviation, and
Is pictured In Popular Mechanics Mag
lizllie. Climbing down to the under-rim-lime
of the maehllie III which he
bad left the ground us a passenger,
he reached the linrl.ontal liar of Ihe
landing chassis. Hanging to this, and
executing acrobatic evolutions, ,
awaited the approach of a second ship
flying at a lower level. As It came be
neath htm. he released bis hold ami
dropped onto Its top plane, landing at
a point near Ihe middle of the right
wing. While he bad estimated ihe
relatlva H'ccds of Ihe two machines
correctly ami Judged his distance Kn
out error. It still remained f,,r ,m l0
obtain n firm hold, or possibly suffer
the Inconvenience of falling 5,nh)
feet
So infectious and contagious is
profiteering disease, that in Brazil,
where ordinarily they follow the
United States market, the coffee
speculators actmlly tool: the initi?
tive themselves by boosting the price
as if there were no coffee in sig'ht.
With a frankness that compels ad
miration, the Brazilian bulls admit
that the hysteria in the coffee mar
ket was not due to any scarcity of
coffee but rather to the prosperity
of Brazil and the United States which
they freely confess, always leaves
waves of speculation in control.
On top qf al this with animals
stumbling over eac'h other in a mad
the price of leather elevates shoes
from the mere dignity of an essential
of life to the topmost pinnacle of lux
ury. No one seems to kno where all
the leather goes, though it is gener
ally believed that the tanners buy all
the hides of all the cattle slaught
ered. The packers who control the
tanneries as well as the hides and the
tanning vats assure the public that
they ''have-refrained from selline
hides for future delivery at the pre
vailing hitfh prices, being content to
let the law of supply and demand
govern so that they dispose of their
hides only for prompt and early de
livery at the market prices."
"This" they declare, "is but a step
to discourage speculation at exces
sively high levels." They say that
"the Tanners Council is in thorough
sympathy with the Retail Shoe Deal
ers Assaciation with respect to edu
cating the public to pay higher prices
for shoes, but this effort, they hone.
will not be carried so far that the
buying more shoes than normal re
quirements demand, and thus com
pelling themselves to pay higher
prices at a future time."
There is a certain altruism in the
desire of the packers to prevent shoe-
hoarding by a panicky people. Not
withstanding the appeal to the no
blest traits of the human soul, there
are lrrgft numbers of plain people
who find it quite impossible to keep
the children adequately Bhod. Doubt
less when they hear of shoe-hoarding
as an explanation of the high price
of k-alher, they think at once of
hardening of the arteries, senile de-
ay, tumors, cancers- ond other non-
rohtted evils. Such explanations are
as hard to swallow as castor oil and
realizing how the ancient law of sup-
I ); and demand Is stretched here and
shrunk there to fit the complexities
of human existence, they ask theni
.;c;vch the sinister question, "When
is this hoax to end?"
Tiny are told that the stockyards
ate to be removed from t'ae control
of the packers so that the competi
tive buying and selling of animalK mi
the. hoof may he restored to take the
piace or the arbitrary system or mon
opoly now in vogue. They are told
that the puckers' control over many
food industries Is to be limited not
only wnii respect to production but
.ihoasit nl'iects distribution. They
a tv tobl that ihe refrigerator cars
now In the control of the puckers are
to be leplaced by common carriers
that will transput the perishable
biuglileieis direct from the slaught
er bouse to the market-place so as to
put an end to special prlveleges en
joyed by the trust at the expense of
Iheli lielpIcsH rivals.
They ate told that cold stornge
ware hou.-ics and marketing systems
Tuesday, August 5, 1919
are to be instituted that wil permit
competition with the packers' branch
houses so that the Independent
slaughterer may have an opportunity
main line into "unrelated zones."
Above all else one phenomenon
stands out; famine goes with high
prices and high prices,- accompany
gluts. There really is an ice famine;
artificially brought about through
the aid and connivance of federal
officials. This famine, which will
make it difficult in large cities prop
erly to preserve the infant milk sup
ply.will cause the death of thousands
of babies doomed to intestinal dis
orders through lack of ice.
Ice is looked upon by the poor as a
luxury. The poor are not masters of
the physiological laws hat control
the nutrition of infants. When the
price of ice is high they do without
and the bacteria which constitute the
most dreadful enemies of child life,
held in check in the presence of ice,
thrive in its absence and thus in
crease and multiply until the feeble
digestion of the babe can no longer
put up a defense against them.
The present ice famine Initiated
by groups of profiteers who explain
their own hand-made shortage by
references to last year's mild winter,
is real. But there is no coffee famine,
no butter famine, no bread famine,
no pork famine, no beef famine, no
yuuiLiy lamine, no egg famine, no
no cheese famine, no leather famine,
no stioe famine, no milk famine.
These are facts that statesmen must
to sel the product of his labor before
it rots. For years they have been told
this but nothing happens.
State legislatures have been appro
priating public money for the pur
pose of conducting investigations in
to the high cost of livihg. One official
prober after another helps to empty
the public purse in arriving at the
somewhat nebulous conclusion that
there is "a definite agreement and a
common understanding among the
men who are in power in the food
control of the country to boost the
prices beyond all reason."
Witnesess and books are sub
poenaed but when an aggressive in
vestigator turns up the names of men
conspicous in finance the newspapers
begin at once to reprimand him, as
in the case of Asistant District Attor
ney Dooling, for departing from the
n swmi-
jsnm i ,msm&immm we m&mr mi u 1 a.
I. , jjl. copjrrlernt ins
' 11.. R- J- Reynolds
It. . ..
PLAY the smokegame with a jimmy
pipe if you're hankering for a hand
out for what ails your smokeappetitet
For, with Prince Albert, you've got a new listen on the pipe question
that cuts you loose from old stung tongue and dry throat worries!
Made by our exclusive patented process, Prince Albert is scotfree
from bite and parch and hands you about the biggest lot of smokefun
that ever was scheduled in your direction!
Prince Albert is a pippin of a pipe-pal; rolled into a cigarette it
beats the band! Get the slant that P. A. is simply everything any
man ever longed for in tobacco! You never will be willing to
figure up the sport you've slipped-on once you get that Prince
Albert quality flavor and quality satisfaction into your smokesystem!
You'll talk kind words every time you get' on the firing line!
Toppy red bat; tidy red lint, hand tome pound and half-pound tin haml.
dort and that clotty, practical pound crystal glaSM humidor with
pon moittmnmr top that httpt the tobacco in tmch perfect condition.
3 R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, Winston-Salem, N. C
face if they are as patriotically de
voted to democratic government in
America as they declare themselves
to be when they appear in public.
Small Farm of 160 Acres
Partly in cultivation, near town, well watered,
fair house and barn, good garden, small orch
ard. PRICE $3500. One-half cash; terms
on Balance
Roy V. Whiteis
REAL ESTATE AND INSURANCE
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..V.-'q.j
Your Bath Room-
Is a nnst important room in your house ami its
,roper fui.iiH-iil will add greatly to the pleas
111 c and satisfaction ou tfet from it.
If ilnic is a room in your house that should he
convenient it should he the bath room.
In our store ou will find many tiling that will
add to the coiniiiiiiice of the hath room and
ou' womler at their tinniest cost.
People's Hardware
Con pany
J&Jmi in
House Dresses and
Aprons
We have a showing of Ladies House Dresses and
Aprons that has m ver been equalled in Heppner.
They are of the wry latest design and made up
in all the popular cloths.
The assortment i large and you have an oppor
tunity to please ourself in making a selection.
As to the service they will render they have the
reputation of this house to maintain.
Thomson Bros.
Announcement
We wish to announce to the Heppner pvHjlic
that we have taken over the Heppner Garage
Machine Shop and are prepared to give all car
owners strictly first class service on short notice.
Ve employ only skilled workmen and guarantee
satisfaction.
We have secured the services of Mr. J. W. Frit
sch, formerly with Wni. E. Chase Co., of Pen
dleton, and he is now in charge of our battery
service department.
1'hiladVlphia Diamond Grid Battery is the batt
ery for your car.
Inman & Thornton
Proprietors Heppner Garage Machine Shop
Heppner, Oregon
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It's Senseible Economy to Buy
(, Bread Ihcse Hot Davs
So woman can aliord to ruin her health and f
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ITsmIKII :iPIH':ir:illi'e fnci'mr 1 .. 1. . H
,j , ' -"'IS "MUM ci iimi 1
kf f.l.'tl 1 11 lh i,........v .. 1.,.. 1 ?u
.-.v.. in un ,-iiiinin. 1 , niji Mie can gp
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HOLSUM BREAD
Fresh Every Dav
W e've many other items on our shelves too,
' that will save you the necessity of cooking
I lhcs-' not days. Come in and let us make a
" suggestion for a lunch today.
I Sam Hughes Company
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