No one thing will give so much
pleasure to so many people
for so long a time as a
COLUMBIA GRAFONOLA
You can get them here on
the same terms, for
same money as
anywhere
Oscar R. Otto
i .... . i
sure us against any kind or an acci
dent except matrimony.
"Soapy" Smith, pianist of the Star
theatre orchestra and erstwhile tenor
soloist, has accepted a position with
the Palace Hcjtel Company and is
now to be lound at his desk there.
A drummer called in at the Hepp
ner club early one mosning.
"Gi". me a package of pipe clean,
ers," he ::aid.
"Ah er you mean those long, f a?..
y things with a wire running through
them?" asked Ralph.
"That's what I want," said the com
mercial man.
"I know what they are, all right.
I've seen them," asserted Ralph, "but
we haven't got any."
BOUNDARY LINES.
IT MAY BE SO, 1 NEVER CM TELL
Wanted
Some satisfactory method to keep
tall people like Ray Bonine off the
front seats in the balcony of the Star
theatre.
Henry Cohn advises people in these
times of high cost of living to never
throw away the vacant holes in a
Swiss cheese. They can be saved and
utilized as the frame work for another
cheese.
Alderman Gene Noble thinks that
with the advent of the bone-dry law
the streets can be narrowied, thus
saving money if then. vr comes a
time when the people of Heppner de
cide to do any street improvement.
"Anybody," says Gene, "can go home
on a narrower street now after mid
night than they used to."
At Minor & Co. Grocery
Peach "Can you tell me the latest
Jimmy "Pardon me, madam, but you
want the dry goods department."
Peach "Indeed, young man, I don't.
I am looking for the latest style in
French dressing."
Bob Carsner, prominent Spray cat
t'.emnn, attended the Woolgrowers'
convention at Salt Lake City somo
time ago. Bob had a good time ana
was well pleased with the trip. "They
let us meet at the Utah hotel, which is
a swell place," he said, "and put some
nice canvas over the floor so our hob
nails would not mark the polish."
Some time ago while Manager Joe
L. Wilkins. of the Palace hotel was in
Portland on a business trip, the hotel
safe, in which was contained many
effects of the list of guests who filled
the house, refused to open, after many
efforts on the part of the employes.
Hugh Bran and several other strong
box '"sharks," tried their luck but
there was nothing doing. The word
leaked out that an honest cracksman
was wanted. Lester Ingram, night
clerk, tells us that there were 17 I
Heppner residents applied for the job,
The "You Never Can Tell" column
owes Bill O'Rourke an apology. In
a former issue it" was stated that he
has $7.50 in a bank here. Bill called
on us and demands that we let the
world know of our mistake. He said
.he next day after publication he was
notified of an overdraft so we guess
it is up to us to make it right ana
correct our former mis-statement.
Bliss was milling around the other
day in a very agitated manner. He
was wildly excited and seemed to be
thinking deeply.
"What's the matter," asked the boy
vhc carried the fire shov.l.
"I'm sure I've got a anipmcnt due
today," was the reply, "but darn me
if I can think what name it is coming
under."
A Clearing 875 Miles Long Separates
Alaska From Canada.
Boundaries between countries, state
and counties and between cities and
the country surrounding them are
marked In various ways. Sometime
It Is by a stone post or monument: of
ten a county Is separated from an ad
joining county by a public road, which
Is surveyod imrposely on the counlv
line.
In some of the southern slates coun
ties which allow cattle to run nt large
are often separated from those- which
do not by n fence. The boundary be
tween Alaska and Canada Is marked
by a clear strip In the woods $75 miles
long.
When a highway passes from one
country into another the traveler Is
made aware of the fact by the customs
officials. Sometimes also, as In Frame,
a tax Is collected on country produce
entering the cities. But In thinly set
tied sections of the Culled Stales the
boundaries between cmmtles ami even
between states are not always marked,
and, though known to the Inhabitants,
are often not to be recognized by a
stranger.
One notable Instance of a marked
boundary Is the great wall of china,
which extends for a distance of more
than 1,500 miles along what was once
the frontier of that empire. Christian
Herald.
Clyde Wells, who every now and
then reads a little history, tells u:
about a custom they used to have in
Germany about New Year's time. It
seems they take a bible and sticl
leaves. The verse one touches will be
their prophecy for the coming year.
"Ambrose" Currier, well known local
Joe Wilkin's small daughter was
pressing her fingers against her eye
Halls in a way that created an optical
illusion.
"Papa," said the little lady, "I can
see two light where there should have
been but one."
"Yes, yes, honey," replied Joe ab
sently, "I've been that way myself."
Sam Van Vactor's interpretation o
the bible story of Jacob and Rachaei
and Pat Crow's interpretation of
"Simpson Smiting the Philadelphians,"
v.old at the banquet Monday evening,
Jtlnncr wittl P.iirrior'a tuwm "Tho T.oo
poet and cribbage shark caretaker of ! st are formi tte principle
the county property on Pecan avenue toBi.. of cnnvprsatinn nf tha war
who picked up considerable bible lore
in his childhood days attending Sun
day school around Eoston, says that
if any one really believes in predic
tions he would be taking an awfu:
chance, as there were some predictions
in the bible which he used to read that
a person might call pretty tough.
lege which is convened daily in the
lobby of the Palace hotel.
"Red" Van Marter says he can in-
Kcnneth Binns' health has been fail
ing of late. He is getting so he can't
eat more than five pies at one sitting
without getting sick.
FOUR POSTER BEDSTEADS.
A Lagaoy From the Day Whan People
Slept In Boxes.
In medieval times,, when life was
very Insecure. It was usual for people
to sleep on a bed which was surround
ed by sides of boards with strong posts
at the four corners. These sides con
tained sliding doors, which could be
fastened Inside.
When men retired to rest they took
a weapon with them. If attacked in
the night they were aroused by the
noise made by the crashing In of their
wooden defense and were able to de
fend themselves.
When the law became strong enough
to protect human life the sides of the
bedstead were gradually dispensed
with, but the four posts remained. The
hoxllke bedstead still survives In the
rural parts of Scotland and Is almost
necessary where the earthen floors and
Imperfect ceilings cause much dump.
Knilly Bronte iii "Wutherlng Heights"
describes one of these bedsteads In the
!d mansions as forming a "little clos
et." Mr. Lockwood, who had to sleep
in It, says, "I slid back the panel sides,
(jot In with my light, pulled them to
gether again and felt secure." London
Standard.
'''' ' ' A 1
ajT CiRCCT RCUT-T0 5'JfiNY U-V"-- I
WtTftfpf CALIFORNIA " 15
'$J A
f I -JU noundTrtpFar-s
1 Cited ot il Silt take City fill: Jf . ;i
MSAN PBANCISCO Literature, rewrya- V (V .-..i. j
o,. application to .
fVVV anOELES J- B- Hudd,",on f ' V
Heppner. Or I M Tt I!
I 1W7 Wm-McMurray If,
IJm ? Gen.Pau.ARI. tS?
'V Portland, Ore.
, 1 vCariuntifin
( S Hi d
reu enamel
' "hf aini Store
The writer hereof is a firm believer in adequate remuneration
for labor performed, no matter whether that labor be the digging
of a sewer or the performance of the dutic3 of Ihs president of
the United States. It has always seemed that tin holding of
remuneration of labor down to the lowest possible level is bad
business, from any and every point of view, and a policy which
must perforce react detrimentally upon the industries of any
country.
The moving picture industry has, however, in one of its branches
gone to an utterly absurd length in the other extreme, and this
condition has been brought about by the use of tactics to which
I think no one who has studied the situation could give unqualified
approval. I refer to the salaries of "stars."
There are today scores Of artists playing leading roles and
receiving therefor sums absolutely out of all proportion to any
remuneration they could, by any stretch of the wildest imagination,
hope to receive were their efforts confined to the legitimate stage.
In fact, until some of the thousund-dollar-a-week talent broke into
moving pictures they considered one-tenth of that sum as the
standard price.
The matter of salaries paid by producers would not be of in
terest to the moving picture world if these salnrios were really
paid by the producer, but when we come to analyze the situation
it is found that this is not the fact. True, the producer makes the
contract and pays the actual money, but in effect he merely ad
vances that sum, later collecting it from the film exchange, which
in turn collects it from the exhibitor, who is the real goat.
Ihave remarked that an element of unfairness was contained
in the matter and firmly believe my statement to be couect. Let
us examine into that phase, taking an extreme case of the un
trained school girl, who "butts" into moving pictures, and due, of
course, to some measure of talent, plus certain personal qualities,
"makes hit." As soon as she displays the fact that she has real
ability, coupled with the energy and stick-to-itiveness necessary
to success, she is placed in lending roles und the producer pro
ceeds to advertise her. Now this advertising is nut done for
nothing. It costs money; also il is likely to cost a lot more money
in kick-back, which almost invariably results. Mazie has now be
come a "movie queen." She has made good, is now given leading
roles, and calls herself star; also the producer overlooks no op
opportunity to advertise her os such. Mazie now, in the parlance
of the racing stable, "begins to feel her oats," and promptly do
mands added reumneration, backed by the threat thut unless she
gets it she will go over, bag and baggage, to an opposition
company.
Now, if her demands were reasonable, taking into due considera
tion the fact trat she owes to the producing company the adver
tising which has made It possible for her to become a popular star,
there would be no complaint Mazie does not do anything of that
sort, however. Kar be it from her to indulgs in such unse;x.ly
modesty. It is a case of "grab the money" with, please remember,
the exhibitor as the goat. A few months ago Muzie was literally
tickled out of her shoes when she was put on the salary ro!l at
$'i0 pr week. Now she demands $.00, with a short-time contract,
nd when that contract is up she, having meanwhile nosed around
among other producing companies, comes in with a dempnd for
double that sum, again barked up with the threat that if the
producer don't "come across" she can get it elsewhere.
The second contract is signed at the higher figure. .She is still
advertised to the limit, and pretty soon some "enterprising" fea
ture producer hunts up Mazie and says: "You working for $1000
week? V hy, good neavens: I
sui h an absurd sum. t ome over '
and SO it R'es.
The figures may l somewhat exaggerated, but the fact un
otiet:onal.ly remains that the moving picture industry, as a whole,
and the exhibitor in particular, is lalioring under as unwarranted
burden of absurd salaries paid to leading men and women. Mind
you, I say this as one who, as I said in the beginning, firmly be.
lieve in adequate remuneration for labor performed. 1 don't, how.
ever, regard it as reasonable to pay moving picture stars the huge
salaries which are row all too common. It is this burden which
is pushirg up the film rentals to absurd and itrpoi,i figures.
The exhibitor has It in nts own nanns in rmeay tris condition
by rtfusira? to pay exorbitant film rental fees which he knows
S are very largely based on unreasonable salaries paid to actors.
Why kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, for that is what it
will mean in the lorg run to all concerned.
While in Portland recently, Ye Edi
tor ran 61 points in a game of pockel
billiards. About a week later Bliss
Hottman was in the metropolis and
eports, which he says are true, have
t that he ran 76 points. Last week
i party of Heppnerites, consisting o:
ndy Rood. Jr.. Peck Thornton and
Edgar Ayres, visited the Rose
In a pocket billiard game one night,
according to the combined statement
l of the three of them, Andy ran 100
points. Peck never missed during the
evening and Ayres was so disgusted
with their rotten playing that they
couldn't get him in the game. Out
nide of this statement from them they
are as reticent as to what else tran
spired during this visit as a board of
war censors.
sultl t:
glasses Ynur t t-s ai
or ecinus m use tl
why not ha" t hp bps', by con
sulting It " C
yntl no more ihnn toronuli tlww
v mi ii.am 1 1 '
ijit.s i'f'ip itl no ey
- rniii h t t'l.id . sh isf c'bin tju,r
intud Cm. Mm 1 1 in Dm: Itiret
lit diiU' Dr. Tu hit ni!iWp in
hityp for iMin-tillHtii'u ir exuin
iiiatton.
Penalty of the Peach.
The Egyptians appear to have been
acquainted with what Is commonly
called prusslc acid, the most deadly of
poisons. It la held that they distilled It
from certain plants and trees, notably
the peach. In the Louvre there is an
ancient Egyptian papyrus from which
the following has been deciphered:
"Pronounce not the name of I. A. O.
under the penalty of the peach." This
has been supposed to be a death warn
lug to those who might bo tempted t"
reveal mysteries In connection with the
religious rites of the priests.
The Romans probably learned of prus
slc acid from the Egyptians. History
has It that In the relgu of Tiberius a
Roman knight accused of treason drunk
poison and immediately fell dead at
the feet of the senators, a significant
circumstance. Inasmuch as no other
poison has the almost Instantaneous
effect of prusslc acid.
Blend beautifully col
ware at Case Furniture
For subscriptions to the "Ameri
can Boy" magazine, see Kenneth
Rinns, Heppner, Oregon.
The foolish virgins who spend nine
tenths of their time in learning to
decorate china, would do well to re
member that a young man in search
of a good wife is more likely to tie to
j girl who knows how to decorate her
:hina with a good square meal, well
rooked and daintily served.
Smart 8ay''
Lord ralroerslon'a r the Hitler
ite niemlier who asked . "Are there
two hens In 'Oultour U a sjiecltnen of
his rtther boisterous chsff. "No. Ouly
me. That's why negus are so scarce
there."
Mr. Disraeli's comment uion
j trait of himself,
nd ao like?" eihlhlted a discernment
not common with linflattered sitters.
Dr. Turner, the well
know eye specialist of
Portland will be in Heppner a-
gain Friday, Fed 23rd, nt Palm e
Hotel. In lone Saturday, Feb.
4th. Dr. Turner is a speculist
of experience and standing, and
you will make no mistake in con
A Poor Press Agent.
Max O'ltell was exceedingly popular
as a lecturer, and the way iu which
his mother viewed the BUggefctVm that
her son should take to the platform b
worth repetition. She wrote to him
from the niit've village which shu had
never left for mure than a duy to bii.n
that she did not think appeaxlug before
audiences to be reputable business, ami
whtu he replied that he had decided to
do It and hail signed a contini t to that
effect the dear old lady wrote back
that she was "still" his hiving inothei
and that she would tell no one iu the
village about It.
atrt:jt':tv:::M::t&3&:jti'::'.:t:'::';
:t it
Professional Column
.i::j.-4x.ii;::;j .Mt; .a.n:
DR. R. J. VAUGIIAN
DENTIST
Permanently
located in
Building
HEPPNER,
Oddfellow's
OR EC ON
WELLS & NYS
ATTORNEYS-AT-1, a w
IRPPNER.
jos. t. knaitenkkin;
INK.
One Beyond.
Willis Do you think that moving
pictures are the ultimate development
of dramatic art? dills No. Tbert
will be one more. On the leitltlmute
stage yon can pet almir with bruins
and no beauty: In the movies )tiu tat.
get along with beauty and no I'jialns
Slid tho next stage of dcwluiiiici.U will
be one where you can get by without
eltber.-I.lfe.
Perfectly Reasonable.
The picture show had startijl and
seren-year-tild tilth sat whIi IlIiik In
lently when she heard s man belilm'
her eX'-laim pettishly:
"I can't sec a thing, madam."
"Mother," demanded Itiiih. "why
does he come hero If ho can't
Photoplay Magazine.
K. NOTKOr
ATTORNEY.
Office in ''""
HEPPNER,
)R. N. E. WINNARI)
PHYSICIAN & SI ltfil MN
IEPPNER. OHh.cn
)R. A. I). McMl'KDO
PHYSICIAN & SURCEON
Tulephone 122
Office Patterson Drug Store
-.TZ. ! HEPPNER
OlilvIC
Twenty Years In rsrllsment.'
por-
"Is It not bldeou ,
I Between Girls.
J "She alts out on the front porch
! food deal, but ahe always has brr noe
J In a hook."
I "Hhe knows her bit. Iu addition to
J getting a reputation for Mug literary.
'she show off to lielter advantage that
! way. Her balr la her g'd feature, not
her nose."-Iiiilsvllle Courier Journal.
J. H. COX
CONTRACTOR and BUILDER
Plana and L'slimatca Furnished for AU Kinds of Huildina,
First Class Work Only.
r
not. " . 1 1 1 i.i
I would not insult you by offerirg
r to us and we will pay you :;m o!
Make a SiffiaUjf of and Have rfmv?t
Equipment for
House Moving
OODSON K SWKEK
vrrnuM ys- i-i m
i ,- it rutin ! ll..!i. tl -i i, .
M K. VAN V (TOK
nnitM .u I w
IH'PNKU
eeaeeaeeeeeeeeeeeeee t
PEARSON
TAILOR
Jerusalem Artichekea.
Jerusalem artk-hokea hate no con
nection either with Jerusalem or artt- ie
chokes, but are a kind of sunflower.
The name "Jerusalem" Is corniittb'n
of the Italian glrasole," derlted from
faury that the flowers kevp turning
to the sun. London Ctiroiih le.
What 0id le Meant
Paleswumsn llo port Uer of widow's
b'linrtt-Would yntl like to try It no
liefiire the gls, madam? Customer
No, thank joii. misa. It ain't for me.
1 1 l-h it as -8irsy trWw.
MOVED
TO OUR NEW LOCATION IN THE
MASONIC BUILDING
SAM HUGHES CO.
a .
e i
HEPPNER,
OREGON
I. C. DENMSP.E
For Finn Up To Dull lli,-nes
ARCHITECT and CONTRACTOR
HEPPNER, OKECON
Clyde & DICK.
BARBERS
Whee Ihe
kiii B'tW
ship
he
Is stmk erery one
might hat been
Baths in Connection
leeeseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei
i