GATCHTHI&MS I mMm
. . aim m J"
LEADING BUSINESS COLLEGE
Tmh Maims
DSWONS
I)
ont miss the chance
XLKM BUILDINO, PORTLAND. ORIOOM
OUR FACULTY IS STRONGER ThAN EYER
WharajnniiiidtBlMrviedittwehi(h-aaUled. eraetleal aiaa. aa veil aa east.
tim (ddcBUn. Itom ih uii. ,We leave m nntarnad. '
' " We are bow gti"f roe tba very heat oaaaj eaa prorara
Copthmht Ac.
nlchlT Meartnlif bur opinion fraa ritbar 0
to jet Groceries and
lloiiiitrlctliecmBtUtitliJ. HANDBOOK '
Hnwu
nt fraa Oldaat unit! fori:
ri'auia uian mroii.n u
rouih lluim to. iMt
MidlnottM. without er.
in ins
Scientific American.
H W. UKilSKB. Pres.
no ron cat
LOOUK
I. K. WALK IK, Priii
Hardware at cost at
J. 0. KINGAID STORE,
it "L. Padberg, Trustee
1 11
; AN OPTICAL DELUSION
fhe Story ef Martin! Celenel, 4
Captain an a Sward.
Tha colonel, a rigid martinet, It stt--tJng
at tba window of ula room wben,
looking out, bo eeee a captain croaalog
tbe barrack yard toward tba (at.
lrrtng at blm closely, be la abockod
to obaarva that, tbe rulea and resula
tlona te- the contrary notwithstanding,
'?e captain doe not carry a eword.
, fi-0i U! window,
atop ap to my room for
- 4 will yoaf"
eepUin obeys promptly, borrows
tnrord of tbe officer of the guard, tba
uardroom being at tbo foot of tba
Stairs, and preacnta himself to tba colo
nal In Irreproachable drese.
, Tbe colonel la somewhat surprised to
ere tba a word la Ita place and, having
to Invent aome pretext for calling hie
aubordlnat back, says, with aome con
fualon: "Beg your pardon, captain, bat
really I've rorgottan what It waa I
wanted to apeak to yon about. How
over, It can't have been very Impor
tant It'll keep. Good morning."
Tbe captain aalutei, depart!, ratnrna
the sword to Ita owner and la making
off across tbe barrack yard, where be
gain cornea within range of tbe ooio
nel'a jrlelon,
Tbe colonel rube fall eyes, Urea,
I nya aoftly to hlmaelf : "How In mna
ler la tfali? He hasn't a aword to hla
waist P then call! aloud; "Captalnl
Ho. captalnl One moment, pleaaer'
The captain rtrurna, borrowa tba
Hword again, mounta the atalra and en
ten the oolonefa preoence. Hla eom
tnandlng oncer ataree at blm Intently.
He baa a aword; he eeea It; ha heara it
Clank,
"Captain," he stammers, growing
mrj not, "If a ridlcolooe, yon know.
)aw-nat hal-I'd jaet Nmembered
IRrhnt I wanted to any to foe, and new
hal tail-It's gone oat of my bead
again T runny, but Hf Ha, ha. bal
Losing my memory. Mover mind, m
think of It and wrtto yeau Qood morn
ing." ! Tbe oaptoln tataree, departa, retarna
the aword to Ita owner and makaa for
tbe gate. Aa be croon en the barrack
yard the colonel ealla hla wife to aba
aide and aaya, "See that eOcer e
tkerer
, -Tee,"
; "Haa he got a ewort onf
' tbe eotonel'e wife adjusts her eye
glass opoa htm, acana aim keenly and
aaya, "He haan't a tatto of a aword."
j Tbe eotonal: Tba fa yea where yea
fool yonraetf . Tea, he ha
Urapolc
arthaueke la (he
. Uaua Dortae wrltee of a ataganr es
Iwrleure in an earthquake while trav
eling In tbe dkeert of OoM: 1 had jnat
drooped oft to aleep whan I woke op
with
a fetlut of reat "j.
id Hot explalb other tbaa tbat I
Mad a presentiment that
rt ,
dans1 waa Impending. It wee ex.
plained aoon aoagh. All of a and den
while I wa atlll wondering whence
my anode fear rime 1 heard a touu
noma beneath the ground which sound,
bd aa If a aubterranean expreae nt'
tpproachlng. Nearer and nearer It
. te. ami before I eoeid get oft th-
, - v , i bud been aleeplag th
..nana th whole bamtot wer
If an
an earthquake, 1 though1
yaat aay last
lactad to see
hour had come and ex
the walla collapae. Th:
taftora ef the reef rattled an ta
fcoaaea, and the whole hone ahook. li
the heawe bad been higher It wonU:
have collapsed, but the walla, noi
elta tea feet high, are built ef mod
with aa aaaatte framework ef wood H
oarry me roof. It appeara that tbre
heeaae are bunt to realet aarthquakia.
thear atmpUrlty and elenttoltj pavbis
ek trem destruction." .
Waa ir Neaatlvo.
- flher-WU. Tommy, what did you
sera at eihcsl aadayt Toauay-I
lea mad that two nigamaa are eqalra.
hut ta atai aaBnaitlvaL Blather Am!
wbataaaanaatrveT TDamaay-1 aV't4
V-vow,
Wa haven't aat that far along
i
New.
,-. ThePieeKhw-HaTayeaiamoHal ratea
l,r rlertymeaV Tbe Boeal Clark-Vea,
sir; wo charge them a nailer extra,
Pieftw-netar astral Why TV
, Hotel (Wto-They ejont aatvonlaa tbt
mi imislja Bagks,
I u -I
flumor j
MARY JANE'S REASON.
Why the Wanted a Divorce From
Jim, Her Hl Vj.
One Hondity morning Home time agn
two colored women hapiioned to be alt
ting next each other in a V street cat.
When one of them tuniwl lu surprliu)
and, looking ber coininintou up ami
down, said:
"Law I Ma'y Jane, Is dat you? What
In do name er gracious la you all dress
ed up so fine fur die souu lu de
mornln' V'
-I'm gwlne ter co't" she proudly re
plied. "O wine ter co'tT la you been en got
Inter a fight?"
. "No, Indeed. 1 don' neber git In no
'apntes en qvar'ls."
"Den la you been cotcb' tnkln' any
thing r
"Me cotcb takln anything! No, In
deed. I don' neber lay my ban's ou
othln' don' b'loug ter me."
"Den what you gwlne ter co't fer?"
'Tea gwlne ter git a dlvo'c fum
Jim."
"Olt a dlvo'ce fum Jim I Why, what
hi Jim done? Is he beat your'
"Jim beat me! No, indeed! Dat he
ain't Jim ain't neber spuck a croaa
word ter me In his whole life."
"Den don't be a'po't your'
"Jim a'po't mel I reckon Jim do
He come home de minute he glta his
waglna en lays 'em all ret in lug lop
a'po't me! Why, Lisa, Jim would tea
hla skirt otTn bla back ter, lib ter mc."
"Den In d name er goodneea, Ma'j
Vine, what Is you gwlne git a dlvo'ce
fum Jim ferT'
"Well, Lisa, I ten you de trafe-1
fee' natehefly loa' my taa'e fer Jlm."
Uppincotta. His Klek.
A tiaveler pottlna up at a email bo
te) eat la California brought tbe por
ter up tq hia room wltn his anfry
atonalng.
"Want your room changed, slrf What
fti the matterr
"Tbe room'a all rlrbt." famed the
Bueet scorchlutly. "It'e tbe Oeea X
object to. tbat'a all."
"Mrs. nawklna. aboated tbe porter
In an nnlntereoted sort of a voire. tbe
ent ta No. T la aatteaed wifb bla
room, but be wanta tbe teaa afjsnawjr
-Harper's Weekly.
The iuralar,
A beraiar waa one blent enaird n
the pkeaainc occupation of atowlnt a
food baul of ewag la bla bat wben be
mtr1A tut tu-h niwMi hla ikfHlU
f ir. Bod. tonilhf Hla bend, be heboid
'nblm mlu Bd rtrmii caa-
..... hl
"Oh. my brother. groaMd tba re
ered foatieinaa. woUlat tboa rob
met Turn, I beseech yoa tara from
ihy bvU waya. Betam tboao atoleo
tpo4a and depart aa peaaa,- fer t am
tuordfml aad forgrvo. Begoner
And the nrslar, only toe thankful
ut tot bttns Blvea late eosteay of tboJ
notice, obeyed and alnnk ewtftly off.
The it the good old aaaa earefaUy end
liitoay narked the sws Into another
luBfaod walked aoftly (so aa not ta dav
tutb the aluaaber ef the tnaaates) eat
ofee hoeee and away bite the nOea
ulght Far ma, tee. waa a baraiar.
CtevaaalHy.'' . -
bi a acBCT that Ohulette
Brtmte when a gtrl ef stxaaen broke
eat angrily at aoaae ene who anld ahe
a-aa alwaya talking atoat ehrver pee
nW, aneh aa Johawm and tBhertdaa,
"Now, yoa oent know the maaBbtg of
clever- ahe aaM. "nhartrtaa might be
i la (re aramiai oftea are bat Johanon
haOnt a npark ef aeveraMty' In blm."
That remark reaUygrvaa the saeeaes
ef Johnson and the key to the great
qnallttoe -T am wort, far sa hla eaaa
even more tbaa In meet tbe arose waa
the aaaa. Whoever weam Varvoral
Ky" had beet kaave Tikaaia alene. The
algnal merit of Johanna's wrttlnga la
that he alwaya mean what he aaye
and alwaya aaya what be aaaa am. He
amy often ham talked fer victory, hat
eawept perk no In the netttttnl nnnv
pbleta he aawaww a i eat for trath.
MAGAZINE
READERS.
SUMtT lUMZMt
baaeaaKftr iMii lis.iiinandw
aaa aMNMiag aaKU akoel
Ciliiiaai iar WL
mm km nwum jmmul
a Maa paaeaaaaa eMtamiag
. pUia, eaaly aaeai iJ aracUi
am mm kmmw, awaW, tana aad
$1.50
$0.50
avast
nasi 1 at aaarMiM) wt am-,
be cl bm Uauly SOU with
phMagraaaa aad siUem.
(WAA of A 1H0WAM VmtM
a baak ef 75 paaja, oMtwaa
120 etlarea ylnhr.pht ol
SKMwaqM ayet m Calseraia
and Onfoa.
TouJ
All three for .... .
$075
$2.75
$1.50
ADDKUt ALL OMU TO
SUNSET MAGAZINE
FLOOD BUILDING SAN FRANOST
KOTICK FOB PCBUCATIOS
(aarkal W.3tHl NotCwil Uud j
Department of the lnlerior,
V B Und Office, Tlie Mnttt'o, Ore
U.j-.i.ihlSW. I
Kotlfafi harabr tlven (bat igtuii Siir, j
oovot lb belra and fer thr he in ol iKiijnmiii
f. Vausaan daeaaied, Ql Htppni't, Orugon I
who, aa loceni bar WB. IMS na-lf UomitMxnl j
entry, UttO, for Lot, 1 S&iKU-fNBVKV Bee.
'J4aud BBtfK(t, latlmi K Twp I 8 liaiifr ,
H Kaat Willamatte Meriiltm aa filed tint Ira ul
Inlanllan to make final fl lrooi (tt i
attabllali claim to tha laiHtiborr lsrritil. be I
(era the Uounly Clerk at hli ulitce lu j
Hppner,Orfoa.oBtbe tlr ol Jnlj, IKOB.
Claimant patnee aa wltDwieai r Borroualu. (
el lona. Vein; Bar.CC Kbcaaul tl ball.olj
Hepner, Orafeit '
- tflw lloora, fteclaiar. '
THE
PROCLAIMI
rei NNI AND
KM0KMW CMIfiTV .
tt (its wm TH
riCtfK sWNTILV, MECtMM. '
-' . SNIESMiW ttVKW aN
WfHLf MVUUL.
km m wm tk mamanx
TRADE CCllMN.
8 aores, about 7 miles from cent
er of Portland, mils from electric
car Hue station, all well fenced,
and in fine Waring orchard, also
all kinds of berriei and vegetables,
H room liouie with toilet, bath, hot
and cold water, fine well; tower
tank and wind mill,, 100 high
grade cliickenr, Itors and wngon,
many oilier implements, price
$7600.00, will take 160 acres .of
good wheat land, Ja exchange for
part. r f v .
, Have 80 acres of timber land, a
few lota in beat coast town in Ore
iron, and a limited1 amount of-caah
for this wo want ft small wheat
farm, ( .'
9 room wall bntlt hfiise In good
part of Portland, fiOxlOO lot. one
block from earlinv, housw not en
Urely modern, bfai can be made so
with small expense, price 9fi00r00
Will lake in cichsfige,'
land np to 13000, to 4000.00 : .
Any one wisliine information
reearthnf of thfe above
f O -TV v ,
inqwf re flUhe :
PBOGUiMtu orrtGC
' .. it -
Chick Pharmacy
STATIONERY DRUGS.
BOOKS of
Ione'-
r PREPARE-,
Itf iht CMwg stmt's
. ORDEI VOUK
JOS PRINTING
.... " :
THE PROCLAIHER
letter Heads..
Note Heads t ,
Bill Heads
Statement
Envelopes;-,,
Cards, Ktc.
nvt is h TOM, mo.
Imported Registered
Spanish Jack '
J'CHUMBO"
Will stand the Season of
1909 at my Ranch, 4 miles
SW of Lmlnktont'
To Insure $15,
To Season io.
Will give $70. fot (jolts;. six
months old; of mares 1200
pounds and over, others in
proportion.
Spanish Jacks
have no equil
Pasture will be furnished to
mares at a distance.
F. E. Mason.
1 Executor's Notice.
In the Connty Courtof the State
of (Oregon for t fie County of Morrow.
' In the ma I ter of the Estate of;
Jalia A. Baker, deceased.
' Notice to hereby giren that the
andef signed has been appointed
Kxecutor of tbe Will of Jolia A
Baker, deceased, and that all per1
ions having claims wgainst aaid
state, are hereby required to' pre
sent the same to me, duly verified,
tor payment, at the office ol W. H.
Dobvns, in lone, Oregon, within
six montne from the date of this
notion.
' Dated-at Iont Oregon, July l0,
. ' .. 't '
' 7awrea M. Baker, Executor.
W H. Dobyns, Attoroer.
ALL KINDS. V
- Oregon.
Independent
Drayman
Always on time!
For all kind of Hauling
Strict attention given to
- Lumber, Coal and Wood.
Q. M. Calkins.
D. G. Ely
NOTARY PUBLIC,
REAL ESTATE
Collecting1 Agency!
Next door to Proclaiiner, .
We Oregon
fcEC, J
W. S. SMITH
ron
Live Stock Insurance
Representing
The National Live Stock-Iosnranee
i Association ol Portland, .
f Let hie do y6ur
ScJddering,
'": Plumbin
lO
, and
Electrij; Light. Wiring
B. r. Akeroy ?
With Wookry lUfdwart ft Grocery Ci
OREGON '
UNION PAC'WC
MO
ONLY LINE XAStVlA
SALT AXE Ul DENVER
TIME SCHEDULES
Dafly clepartalortba Baal and Pert. '
land at M0 a. bb. arrives at 3:30 B au
' ftTKAMKB LIKE -,
Dally boat service, Banday eicepted,
ketween Portlaird, Aatoria, Oregon CUV
and Darton. y -
Snake River Boole . '
Steamer betararn Biparia and Iewle
ton knave Raparta UIt, aaeept 8atart
day, nieb n. n. Racarnini leave
Lewietoa nBily, eseept rrtday, at 7 a. at.
Foe (all intannatien eall en O. J. tW
ntngtem; O. K. X . agent, Iaew, Ore.,
Was. MtMerray. Ceaf. PaeV' atf
Pactland, Craeaei.
V . '