GATCHTHI&MS I mMm . . aim m J" LEADING BUSINESS COLLEGE Tmh Maims DSWONS I) ont miss the chance XLKM BUILDINO, PORTLAND. ORIOOM OUR FACULTY IS STRONGER ThAN EYER WharajnniiiidtBlMrviedittwehi(h-aaUled. eraetleal aiaa. aa veil aa east. tim (ddcBUn. Itom ih uii. ,We leave m nntarnad. ' ' " We are bow gti"f roe tba very heat oaaaj eaa prorara Copthmht Ac. nlchlT Meartnlif bur opinion fraa ritbar 0 to jet Groceries and lloiiiitrlctliecmBtUtitliJ. HANDBOOK ' Hnwu nt fraa Oldaat unit! fori: ri'auia uian mroii.n u rouih lluim to. iMt MidlnottM. without er. in ins Scientific American. H W. UKilSKB. Pres. no ron cat LOOUK I. K. WALK IK, Priii Hardware at cost at J. 0. KINGAID STORE, it "L. Padberg, Trustee 1 11 ; AN OPTICAL DELUSION fhe Story ef Martin! Celenel, 4 Captain an a Sward. Tha colonel, a rigid martinet, It stt--tJng at tba window of ula room wben, looking out, bo eeee a captain croaalog tbe barrack yard toward tba (at. lrrtng at blm closely, be la abockod to obaarva that, tbe rulea and resula tlona te- the contrary notwithstanding, '?e captain doe not carry a eword. , fi-0i U! window, atop ap to my room for - 4 will yoaf" eepUin obeys promptly, borrows tnrord of tbe officer of the guard, tba uardroom being at tbo foot of tba Stairs, and preacnta himself to tba colo nal In Irreproachable drese. , Tbe colonel la somewhat surprised to ere tba a word la Ita place and, having to Invent aome pretext for calling hie aubordlnat back, says, with aome con fualon: "Beg your pardon, captain, bat really I've rorgottan what It waa I wanted to apeak to yon about. How over, It can't have been very Impor tant It'll keep. Good morning." Tbe captain aalutei, depart!, ratnrna the sword to Ita owner and la making off across tbe barrack yard, where be gain cornea within range of tbe ooio nel'a jrlelon, Tbe colonel rube fall eyes, Urea, I nya aoftly to hlmaelf : "How In mna ler la tfali? He hasn't a aword to hla waist P then call! aloud; "Captalnl Ho. captalnl One moment, pleaaer' The captain rtrurna, borrowa tba Hword again, mounta the atalra and en ten the oolonefa preoence. Hla eom tnandlng oncer ataree at blm Intently. He baa a aword; he eeea It; ha heara it Clank, "Captain," he stammers, growing mrj not, "If a ridlcolooe, yon know. )aw-nat hal-I'd jaet Nmembered IRrhnt I wanted to any to foe, and new hal tail-It's gone oat of my bead again T runny, but Hf Ha, ha. bal Losing my memory. Mover mind, m think of It and wrtto yeau Qood morn ing." ! Tbe oaptoln tataree, departa, retarna the aword to Ita owner and makaa for tbe gate. Aa be croon en the barrack yard the colonel ealla hla wife to aba aide and aaya, "See that eOcer e tkerer , -Tee," ; "Haa he got a ewort onf ' tbe eotonel'e wife adjusts her eye glass opoa htm, acana aim keenly and aaya, "He haan't a tatto of a aword." j Tbe eotonal: Tba fa yea where yea fool yonraetf . Tea, he ha Urapolc arthaueke la (he . Uaua Dortae wrltee of a ataganr es Iwrleure in an earthquake while trav eling In tbe dkeert of OoM: 1 had jnat drooped oft to aleep whan I woke op with a fetlut of reat "j. id Hot explalb other tbaa tbat I Mad a presentiment that rt , dans1 waa Impending. It wee ex. plained aoon aoagh. All of a and den while I wa atlll wondering whence my anode fear rime 1 heard a touu noma beneath the ground which sound, bd aa If a aubterranean expreae nt' tpproachlng. Nearer and nearer It . te. ami before I eoeid get oft th- , - v , i bud been aleeplag th ..nana th whole bamtot wer If an an earthquake, 1 though1 yaat aay last lactad to see hour had come and ex the walla collapae. Th: taftora ef the reef rattled an ta fcoaaea, and the whole hone ahook. li the heawe bad been higher It wonU: have collapsed, but the walla, noi elta tea feet high, are built ef mod with aa aaaatte framework ef wood H oarry me roof. It appeara that tbre heeaae are bunt to realet aarthquakia. thear atmpUrlty and elenttoltj pavbis ek trem destruction." . Waa ir Neaatlvo. - flher-WU. Tommy, what did you sera at eihcsl aadayt Toauay-I lea mad that two nigamaa are eqalra. hut ta atai aaBnaitlvaL Blather Am! wbataaaanaatrveT TDamaay-1 aV't4 V-vow, Wa haven't aat that far along i New. ,-. ThePieeKhw-HaTayeaiamoHal ratea l,r rlertymeaV Tbe Boeal Clark-Vea, sir; wo charge them a nailer extra, Pieftw-netar astral Why TV , Hotel (Wto-They ejont aatvonlaa tbt mi imislja Bagks, I u -I flumor j MARY JANE'S REASON. Why the Wanted a Divorce From Jim, Her Hl Vj. One Hondity morning Home time agn two colored women hapiioned to be alt ting next each other in a V street cat. When one of them tuniwl lu surprliu) and, looking ber coininintou up ami down, said: "Law I Ma'y Jane, Is dat you? What In do name er gracious la you all dress ed up so fine fur die souu lu de mornln' V' -I'm gwlne ter co't" she proudly re plied. "O wine ter co'tT la you been en got Inter a fight?" . "No, Indeed. 1 don' neber git In no 'apntes en qvar'ls." "Den la you been cotcb' tnkln' any thing r "Me cotcb takln anything! No, In deed. I don' neber lay my ban's ou othln' don' b'loug ter me." "Den what you gwlne ter co't fer?" 'Tea gwlne ter git a dlvo'c fum Jim." "Olt a dlvo'ce fum Jim I Why, what hi Jim done? Is he beat your' "Jim beat me! No, indeed! Dat he ain't Jim ain't neber spuck a croaa word ter me In his whole life." "Den don't be a'po't your' "Jim a'po't mel I reckon Jim do He come home de minute he glta his waglna en lays 'em all ret in lug lop a'po't me! Why, Lisa, Jim would tea hla skirt otTn bla back ter, lib ter mc." "Den In d name er goodneea, Ma'j Vine, what Is you gwlne git a dlvo'ce fum Jim ferT' "Well, Lisa, I ten you de trafe-1 fee' natehefly loa' my taa'e fer Jlm." Uppincotta. His Klek. A tiaveler pottlna up at a email bo te) eat la California brought tbe por ter up tq hia room wltn his anfry atonalng. "Want your room changed, slrf What fti the matterr "Tbe room'a all rlrbt." famed the Bueet scorchlutly. "It'e tbe Oeea X object to. tbat'a all." "Mrs. nawklna. aboated tbe porter In an nnlntereoted sort of a voire. tbe ent ta No. T la aatteaed wifb bla room, but be wanta tbe teaa afjsnawjr -Harper's Weekly. The iuralar, A beraiar waa one blent enaird n the pkeaainc occupation of atowlnt a food baul of ewag la bla bat wben be mtr1A tut tu-h niwMi hla ikfHlU f ir. Bod. tonilhf Hla bend, be heboid 'nblm mlu Bd rtrmii caa- ..... hl "Oh. my brother. groaMd tba re ered foatieinaa. woUlat tboa rob met Turn, I beseech yoa tara from ihy bvU waya. Betam tboao atoleo tpo4a and depart aa peaaa,- fer t am tuordfml aad forgrvo. Begoner And the nrslar, only toe thankful ut tot bttns Blvea late eosteay of tboJ notice, obeyed and alnnk ewtftly off. The it the good old aaaa earefaUy end liitoay narked the sws Into another luBfaod walked aoftly (so aa not ta dav tutb the aluaaber ef the tnaaates) eat ofee hoeee and away bite the nOea ulght Far ma, tee. waa a baraiar. CtevaaalHy.'' . - bi a acBCT that Ohulette Brtmte when a gtrl ef stxaaen broke eat angrily at aoaae ene who anld ahe a-aa alwaya talking atoat ehrver pee nW, aneh aa Johawm and tBhertdaa, "Now, yoa oent know the maaBbtg of clever- ahe aaM. "nhartrtaa might be i la (re aramiai oftea are bat Johanon haOnt a npark ef aeveraMty' In blm." That remark reaUygrvaa the saeeaes ef Johnson and the key to the great qnallttoe -T am wort, far sa hla eaaa even more tbaa In meet tbe arose waa the aaaa. Whoever weam Varvoral Ky" had beet kaave Tikaaia alene. The algnal merit of Johanna's wrttlnga la that he alwaya mean what he aaye and alwaya aaya what be aaaa am. He amy often ham talked fer victory, hat eawept perk no In the netttttnl nnnv pbleta he aawaww a i eat for trath. MAGAZINE READERS. SUMtT lUMZMt baaeaaKftr iMii lis.iiinandw aaa aMNMiag aaKU akoel Ciliiiaai iar WL mm km nwum jmmul a Maa paaeaaaaa eMtamiag . pUia, eaaly aaeai iJ aracUi am mm kmmw, awaW, tana aad $1.50 $0.50 avast nasi 1 at aaarMiM) wt am-, be cl bm Uauly SOU with phMagraaaa aad siUem. (WAA of A 1H0WAM VmtM a baak ef 75 paaja, oMtwaa 120 etlarea ylnhr.pht ol SKMwaqM ayet m Calseraia and Onfoa. TouJ All three for .... . $075 $2.75 $1.50 ADDKUt ALL OMU TO SUNSET MAGAZINE FLOOD BUILDING SAN FRANOST KOTICK FOB PCBUCATIOS (aarkal W.3tHl NotCwil Uud j Department of the lnlerior, V B Und Office, Tlie Mnttt'o, Ore U.j-.i.ihlSW. I Kotlfafi harabr tlven (bat igtuii Siir, j oovot lb belra and fer thr he in ol iKiijnmiii f. Vausaan daeaaied, Ql Htppni't, Orugon I who, aa loceni bar WB. IMS na-lf UomitMxnl j entry, UttO, for Lot, 1 S&iKU-fNBVKV Bee. 'J4aud BBtfK(t, latlmi K Twp I 8 liaiifr , H Kaat Willamatte Meriiltm aa filed tint Ira ul Inlanllan to make final fl lrooi (tt i attabllali claim to tha laiHtiborr lsrritil. be I (era the Uounly Clerk at hli ulitce lu j Hppner,Orfoa.oBtbe tlr ol Jnlj, IKOB. Claimant patnee aa wltDwieai r Borroualu. ( el lona. Vein; Bar.CC Kbcaaul tl ball.olj Hepner, Orafeit ' - tflw lloora, fteclaiar. ' THE PROCLAIMI rei NNI AND KM0KMW CMIfiTV . tt (its wm TH riCtfK sWNTILV, MECtMM. ' -' . SNIESMiW ttVKW aN WfHLf MVUUL. km m wm tk mamanx TRADE CCllMN. 8 aores, about 7 miles from cent er of Portland, mils from electric car Hue station, all well fenced, and in fine Waring orchard, also all kinds of berriei and vegetables, H room liouie with toilet, bath, hot and cold water, fine well; tower tank and wind mill,, 100 high grade cliickenr, Itors and wngon, many oilier implements, price $7600.00, will take 160 acres .of good wheat land, Ja exchange for part. r f v . , Have 80 acres of timber land, a few lota in beat coast town in Ore iron, and a limited1 amount of-caah for this wo want ft small wheat farm, ( .' 9 room wall bntlt hfiise In good part of Portland, fiOxlOO lot. one block from earlinv, housw not en Urely modern, bfai can be made so with small expense, price 9fi00r00 Will lake in cichsfige,' land np to 13000, to 4000.00 : . Any one wisliine information reearthnf of thfe above f O -TV v , inqwf re flUhe : PBOGUiMtu orrtGC ' .. it - Chick Pharmacy STATIONERY DRUGS. BOOKS of Ione'- r PREPARE-, Itf iht CMwg stmt's . ORDEI VOUK JOS PRINTING .... " : THE PROCLAIHER letter Heads.. Note Heads t , Bill Heads Statement Envelopes;-,, Cards, Ktc. nvt is h TOM, mo. Imported Registered Spanish Jack ' J'CHUMBO" Will stand the Season of 1909 at my Ranch, 4 miles SW of Lmlnktont' To Insure $15, To Season io. Will give $70. fot (jolts;. six months old; of mares 1200 pounds and over, others in proportion. Spanish Jacks have no equil Pasture will be furnished to mares at a distance. F. E. Mason. 1 Executor's Notice. In the Connty Courtof the State of (Oregon for t fie County of Morrow. ' In the ma I ter of the Estate of; Jalia A. Baker, deceased. ' Notice to hereby giren that the andef signed has been appointed Kxecutor of tbe Will of Jolia A Baker, deceased, and that all per1 ions having claims wgainst aaid state, are hereby required to' pre sent the same to me, duly verified, tor payment, at the office ol W. H. Dobvns, in lone, Oregon, within six montne from the date of this notion. ' Dated-at Iont Oregon, July l0, . ' .. 't ' ' 7awrea M. Baker, Executor. W H. Dobyns, Attoroer. ALL KINDS. V - Oregon. Independent Drayman Always on time! For all kind of Hauling Strict attention given to - Lumber, Coal and Wood. Q. M. Calkins. D. G. Ely NOTARY PUBLIC, REAL ESTATE Collecting1 Agency! Next door to Proclaiiner, . We Oregon fcEC, J W. S. SMITH ron Live Stock Insurance Representing The National Live Stock-Iosnranee i Association ol Portland, . f Let hie do y6ur ScJddering, '": Plumbin lO , and Electrij; Light. Wiring B. r. Akeroy ? With Wookry lUfdwart ft Grocery Ci OREGON ' UNION PAC'WC MO ONLY LINE XAStVlA SALT AXE Ul DENVER TIME SCHEDULES Dafly clepartalortba Baal and Pert. ' land at M0 a. bb. arrives at 3:30 B au ' ftTKAMKB LIKE -, Dally boat service, Banday eicepted, ketween Portlaird, Aatoria, Oregon CUV and Darton. y - Snake River Boole . ' Steamer betararn Biparia and Iewle ton knave Raparta UIt, aaeept 8atart day, nieb n. n. Racarnini leave Lewietoa nBily, eseept rrtday, at 7 a. at. Foe (all intannatien eall en O. J. tW ntngtem; O. K. X . agent, Iaew, Ore., Was. MtMerray. Ceaf. PaeV' atf Pactland, Craeaei. V . '