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Lebanon Express,
H. Y. KIRKPATR1CK,
Editor - and - Proprietor
Virginia Ims a reform spell on.
TIipv proposo a thorough reforrun-
tion in the election laws. .1 he law
tit present, no doubt, is well enough
hut the methods p.obably need re
form. Al least that is what is the
trouble in this city. Ex.
An eastern scientist says the bi-
ovele will prove a curse to the hu
man race, and ils presistent use
will result in mental and physical
deterioration till we will be noth-
iiiff Riinerior to nionkevB. The
-"O "
public accepts his apology and ad
vises him to dispose of his wheel
lu.fnrA thn ninnkev becomes his
mental susperior. ,
The old showman, P. T. Barnum,
left his widow, a young woman,
about 12,000,000. Of course a wo
man, with such charms could not
conveniently remain single.,. She
has married a Greet; preacher,
wiiose name is Agothodorous A.
Papageorgopoulous. To pronounce
that name would, snaggle the teeth
of an nlligator.
The net that iB being woven
about H. H. Holmes, the insurance
swindler and wholesale murderer
is discouraging to people who as.
nire to like careers. Holmes was a
skilful rascal and amassed a for
tune bv his nefarious schemes but
that will not avail him against the
exposures made by his former ac
complice whom detectives found
in jail. Ex. '
If there is a man in existance
who can conscientiously endorse
all the principles of any political
party as tiiey now are, we would
like to. hear from him. The Re
cord proposes to endorse the good
in each party, whether it be Demo
crat, Republican, Populist, Prohi
bition or anything else. It also
proposes to condemn the bad.
' Weekly Record.
A man has been arrested at
Baker City for riding a bicycle on
the sidewalk. However, the fel
lows who conduct gambling games,
hold up men and other wise violate
the law and degrade others have
not been molested. The bicyclist
should make war upon the derelict
officials and drive them out of
office if they will not enforce the
laws with fairness. Pendleton E,
().
The republican primaries in
Philadelphia brought out almost a
full vote, and Senator Quay de
feated the combine formed against
him by Governor Hastings, David
Martin and Mayor Warwick, of;
Philadelphia. It appears almost
certain that he has won bis fight
for the state chairmanship with
some votes to spare, A conserva
' tive estimate gives him 160 votes
in the convention, fifteen more
than the number necessary to
elejt. Ex.
Theodore Durrant, the suspected
murderer of the two San Francisco
girls, is evidently guilty; but he is
entitled to a fair trial. The judge
seems anxious to give it to bim.
The Examiner, though generally a
fair paper, is entirely too biased.
Its columns are filled with studied
arguments atteniping to establish
in the minds of the jury and the
general public, the guilt of the ac
cused. This should be beneath so
great a paper and is wrong from
principle.
The fruit crop of Oregon, which
is now coming into market, and
for which a fair price is realized, is
very large and of fine quality. Buy
ers are all over the country, and
take all that is offered, and the
larger the quantity the better they
like it and the higher the price.
John Holman took to McMinnville
last week a four horse load of
Bartlett pears. They were bought
by a Portland firm on the trees at
sixty cents per box. At thl price,
Mr. Holman says, be Ban slew
IS' 100 par aore. Thit ought to -'fy
a rcitaiiably taodnt 014
The hop crop of Oregon .is this
year far a head of the orop on the
Sound, and an old dealer in hops
ays that he has always predicted
Oregon will become tlio bifcinor
state of the coast in the hop line.
"Our climatio conditions and soil
are Buch," he continued,"that they
cannot be beat. Some routs of the
oelebrated Bohemian hops will be
produced in Oregon superior .to
those produced in Bohemia. It is
found th.U hops cau be grown here
on high ground as well as on low
ground, and of a better quality-
Some year before long hops will
fetch a high price agwn, nd Ore
gon hop growers will make moiiey
galore." Oregonian.
The Honorable Mr. Kincaid is a
queer figure in Oregon politics.
Personally, he is said to above Te
proach; but he left his personality
behind, when he entered upon the.
duties of secretary of state. Time,
talents and money have been lav
ishly spent to prevent certain state
officials from drawing the. 'salaries'
guaranteed to them by the state;
and the surureme court has de
cided that the secretary of state is
wrong. Now if the honorable sec
retary would spend a little of 'his
time and talents in preventing Mr.
Kincaid from pilfering the state
and the people out of innumerable
fees, the supreme court would de
cide that the honorable secretary
was right and Mr. Kincaid was
wrong. There is a good ae.n oi
the "Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde"
with our honorable secretary.
LEBANON PRODUCE MARKET.
Casnjtd Every Weok.l
Wheat-37c.
Oats 12 to 15c
Hay $3 to $5 perton.
Flour $0 7085. per sack.
Chop $0 90 per ewt. ,
Bran 76o perewt.
Middlings-! 76 per ewt.
Potatoes 10c.
Apples Shed, 6c per lb
Plums Dried, 6c.
Onions 2o. . " '
Beef Dressed, 4Jc.
Veal-3J4o.
Pork Dressed, 4.
Lard 10.
Hams 10 per lb. ;
Shoulders Sc.
Bides 100 per lb.
Geese fl 18 per doz.
Docks 12 $3 per doz.
Chlokens-12 003 00.
Turkeys 8c per lb.
Eggs 12jc w doz. ,
Butter 15 20c per lb.
Hides Green, 5c; dry, 10t.
Statb or Ohio.Citt or ToiEDO,!
MICAS LOt'BTV. I
Fbakk J. Chinry makes oath that he is
the senior partner of the firm of F. J.
Chisxt & Co., doing business in the City
of Toledo, Count and State aforesaid, mid
that said firm will pay the sum of ONE
HUNDRED DOLLAKS for each and every
esse of Catarrh that cannot be cured by
the use of Hall's Catabhh Cube.
: FBANK.I. CHENEY.
Bworen to before me and subscribed in
my presence, this 6th day of December,
A. P. 1886.
A. W. OLEAHON,
Notary I'lihiic,
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. .
Send for circulars; free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, 78c.
Prof. A. STARK
Of Will Stark, Jewelers
Optical Specialist.
Graduate of the Cicugo Optbalmic
College.
I am prepared to examine scientifi
cally and accuratly, by the lalest und
improved methods of modern science,
aoy who desire to bave their eyes tee
ted.
Custck Block, Albany, Ohkoon. .
Conservatory of Music
ALBANY COLLEGE,
ALBANY, OREGON.
Prof. Z. M. Parveu, musical Director
formerly of Willamette TJuiveislty.has
been elected Director for the coming
school year.
Full Courses In the Important
brandies of Muslo.
Latest methods, -
Finemuslo rooms.
Prloas low for grade of work.
Dlplorjjas oonfared on completion of
sour, Term begins (September 11th.
tlmd for elroulsir an4 citluiDiins, .
W. H, tEK, A, M., trss
Alhntiyi OriHi
CATERING TO AMERICANS.
Lonilim.S'milttuiirn Kufca In Millions of
Onivliiilhirs Kpfy Yrar.
"H i;i Mimntert that Americana every
j'tntr In London distribute nearly twon-ly-live
million dollarx among the trades-
.jvoitlo thero. They nearly always pay
cash suul an) charged good prices.
;;.it!irally, limn, euys the New York
Advertiser, the London tradesmen have
U'-'eomo .thoroughly awakened to the
liiiportiiiu'e-of entering to this trade,
and tlie.v ure using all manner ot means
.: nttntut It. In ncurly all the shops
e: the Strand, Eegent street, Oxford
.itreel and other thoroughfares of that
eiwruetPivwhere pri :ss are given and
itvS icles tire displayed in the windows,
the Untied Hlntcs dollar mark is -Used
ui conjunction with the English pound
unirk . ( Hie of the big dry goods stores
i.i Oxford street created quite a com-
.tottuii iunoiig the Americans by uis-
uvinjj n very large American flag
:nvu their ilagNt. As I happened to
r'.ejby 1 wuv uhoiit two hundred peo
A-.' tuuking reverently at the StarBand
4.U ij.es. The so of thtserowdnotonly
iteeuiii'.tratrd the clever move of the
ini;L-ee;n.'r, Init .the large number of
Aiiwritir.i , in London, that so many of
tlfc-m vonltl be attracted about the same
iinio t;d ut the- same place by this
.means, Naturally they all wondered
.y.lmt it mount, und went into the shop
in pursuit of knowledge. They were
givdu to understand that It was In the
nature 'of a persouul compliment, and
Ihev feel it now their patriotic duty tc
bcUM'e that this is the greutest shop it
London. . llthor shopkeepers are sun.
to discover the cleverness of this scheme
cnd.lolluw the example. It may be
come contagious. If It does, the Amer-
ieariilag will be more familiar in IOD'
"Sott'than in New York.
BIG BRAINS.
' Hammoth-Menul Machinary of BISDUnk,
Hyrun snd Otben.
, The famous and fitly named German
,s;uptur, Sehnper, who executed the
stutue of llismarek at Cologne, was
privileged to be on more familiar terms
than anybody now living, probably,
with his sitter's head. He had that
head in his hands for days, says the
New York Journal, and surveyed and
measured, and manipulated it to his
heart's content. The results of hlsob
'scrvatious and mensurations he sub-
sequenfly placed at the disposal of
science, and science has proceeded to
institute comparisons between the
prince's head and others not only in
point of size, but in point of brain
weight also very greatly, as may be
imagined, in the great mans favor.
' The Bismarck head measured 918 and
170 in millimeters. This, It appears, is
colossal. In Baden, where heads run
big, out 'of 2,300 they measured only
one ran to 2110 millimeters from fore
head to occiput. The most extensive
. head they could find upon a .savant
mm a cubic capacity of L800 centi
meters only, llismarck's goes this 165
cubic centimeters better. Coming' to
weight of brain, Kant, Dante, Byron,
.X'uvjer none of them are in it with the
-chancellor. Ctivier carried 8 pounds
ounces in his brain-pan. Bismarck
put np 4 pounds 1 ounce avoirdupois.
This weight, however, has been equaled
''in the case of a British subject, re
ported a couple of weeks ago in .the
Lancet. He yielded 65 ounces the
chancellor's figure exactly and he was
deaf, dumb, daft, and a Scotchman.
TRICKING TREE CRABS.
Bow the Natives of Afrlen Pfevsnt Their
Depredations.
In Africa there exists a certain mem
ber of the crab genus commonly known
as the great tree crab. This peculiar
shullli:,!, says the Pittsburgh Dispatch,
has an offensive trick of crawling up
the coeoanut trees, biting off the cocoa
nuts and then creeping down again
backwards.
The theory is that the nuts are shat
tered by tiie fall, and the great tree
crab is thus enabled to enjoy a hearty
meal.' Now, the natives who inhabit
regions infested by this ill-conditioned
crab are well aware that the lower por
tiou of the crab's anatomy Is soft and
sensitive, and they believe that the
' bivalve" was thus constructed in or
der tlmt he might know when he had
readied the ground, and when, conse
quently, he might with safety release
his grasp of the trunk. .
bo what they do In order to stop
his depredations, which often ruin the
coeoanut erops, is this: While the crab
is engaged in nipping off the edeoonuts
they climb half way up the trees and
there drive a row ot low nails right
around tiie tree, allowing an inch or so
of the nails to project.
The crub has no knowledge of dis
aster, nor yet the fitness of things. As
lie descends, the sensitive part of his
body suddenly touches the nails. Think
ing he has reached the ground, he nat
rnuliy lets go. Instantly he falls back
wards, and cracks his own shell on the
ground.
' Two Queer Illinois Wells.
Near Augusta, 111,, there are two
peculiar wells, each of which deserves
'special .mention in a department de
voted to accounts of things out of the
ordinary. The first is a "bottomless
well" one which was sunk down until
the immense running underground river
was struck. The second is a well In
which the water remains frozen winter
and summer. These two wonders, each
of which may properly be referred to
as ''combined natural and artificial
curiosities," are located at a distance
of about a mile and a half apart. The
frozen well is only about ten feet In
depth, that of the other not stated.
The Fire Cure.
The native doctors of India practice a
peculiar system known as "firing."
Afllieted persons, no odds what the dis
ease may bo, are immediately upon ar
rival of the family physician subjected
to the tortures of fire. A late report by
a medical authority declares that there
Is not one to the thousand of total pop
ulation In Bombay and tha larger
cities generally, who does not tw
trauti u the application of the Art r"f
In the jliai of huis, -it t" -i t UI
Tho Hereditary Bootjnelt.
The venerable countess of Rothes,
who has just died, hud the right to
perforin a ceremony on any occasion
when the sovereign of bcotlttml vWteu
the kingdom of Fife which might
have given her the title of "hereditary
grand bootjack." lly an old feudal
custom the head of the lint hes family
when the king returned to Falkland
palace from the hunt had to puil off
the royal boots and Invest the royal
feet in ease-giving slippers, lio ulty
does uot often visit Fiicuhire ; owa
days, but when the queen ;ir.,d her
first visit to the Tay bridge the coroitosa
olaimed and was allowed her nne .ent
privilege. A small temporary plat
form was erected by the side n'( the
railway a few miles from Cunpur' Fife,
and here the royal train stopped' for a
few minutes. Hor mnjeuty shook
hands with the counter and th.e lat
ter handed a pair of sewed shp"r vB to
the queen, the act of taking oft tlio
royal boots being understood to be
covered by the presentation of the
suppers.
NOT VOUCHED FOR.
Near Mehama, Ore., a few days ago
nine gin was louoweu nome from pos
ture by a two-year-old deer, which h
readily submitting to domestication.
Franklin, Go., boasts of a cat that
hod been In one family for twenty-twi
years. When its mistress died it plnei
away and refused to eat, literally sturv
Ing itself to death.
A Hoasx at Alexandria which was run
over by a Texas & Pacific train and had
one of its legs broken hobbled to a
store near bv. knnalrorl ut. tin, HnM.
by signs and brute laugnuge appealed
lor ruiiex.
A Pennsylvania farmer has a hen
which habitually lays unpsually large
eggs. Inside of each of these eggs is
another good-sized egg, perfectly
formed. Both the, .inside and outside
egg have a yolk and white part.
A aooD rat story comes to us from
Michigan. A straw held in the mouths
of three rate drow the attention of citl
Ixens of Nashville to a strange sight
ThAT WttM trmrollnfV nlnnr l.n
"I "J B -""B "o unu,
three abreast, when it was discovered
iuv uh vwu uuutiue rata were ttius
leading the center one, whicn waa old
and blind.
Is Your Child .
Going to College?
Have him fitted at tho
SANTIAM ACADEMY
Thourough preperation for
all collegiate courses,
Certificates admit to tho
leading Colleges on the coast.
Normal Department gradu
ates obtain Stale and Life di
plomas. Music, Art, Book
keeping. Sjiecialtios, health
and outdoor life, small clas
ses and instruction for the in
dividual. Winter term opons Sent 23.
1'uition $G.50 and $10.00 per
term. Send for catalogue.
8. A. RAXDLE, A. II.,
Principal.
To Advertisers.
If you witih to obtain the hunt
returns from your advwtisementB
Don't Forget
the important fact that
The Lebanon Express
will give the desired results, us it ,
Is The Best
Advertising Medium
in Linn County. .' .
s eg
Sb is1 :
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: 111""'.
.'J Pet- Jr 'f':' ..
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HIRAM BAKER and W. L. DOUGLAS
HAVE GONE INTO PARTNERSHIP.
Douglas makes the Shoes and
Baker sells them.
The best shoes in the world for
the money.
ONE
GIVES RELI EP,
Albany Furniture Co.
(INCOItPOKATED)
BALTIMORE BLOCK, Albany, Oregon.
Furniture, Carpets, Linoleums, matting, otc.
Pictures and Picture molding.
Undertaking a Specialty.
ALBANY COLLEGE.
On the 11th of September, the College will open for Its
twenty-ninth year, with, a full corps of instructors, and all
facilites for attaining a complete education. The commer
cial department is open for thoes who are aiming to pursue
a business careeer. Carful attention will be paid to thoes
who desire to enter our Normal course A Conservatory of
Music under the effeciont management of Prof, Z. M. Parvin
has been established.
' Colleeeate courses leading un to the decrees of A. B.
andB. 8, Catalogue on application. , my'
VVALUCE Hi LEE, A, M, Preildwitf M
; .... y - V'f
. . "jfj tf -! i,,.,..-