lltlST BE A DIPLOMAT.
NO OTHER Klkl) OF MAN CAN BE A
SLEEPING' ;CAR CONDUCTOR.
No Only Kfco . "t Snows,
f mmbtiUftowdlWkm Teethe Loot
Watches of Hie HIght Rigid EnuulM
ttaa of AppUeaats m the Position.
Ho man who (a not a born diplomat
peed apply for a position as a sleeping
tar conductor. It will be time lost for
Cm. He may hare all the other quail
ilea that would make him a sneoeas at
anything else, but onless he has that
peculiar and indefinable ability to get
along well with all sorts and conditions
of men, which is called diplomacy for
want of a better term, he, had better
keep off the sleeping can and take np
something easier, such as law, medicine
or the ministry.
Few of the thousands who nightly
sleep at the rate of 40 miles an hour or
hereabouts realize how well the man
who has charge of the oar in which they
sleep looks after their comfort directly
and indirectly. They think it is all the
work of the porter, whom they reward
accordingly with tips. The conductor
doesn't get many tips. He has the re
sponsibility, which is a poor substitute,
and he has his wages, which are good
wages, to be sure, but he earns all that
he goto. If he thinks he doesn't get
enough, there are hundreds of others
ready and eager to take his place,
"During this year," says an offloial
of the Wagner Car company, "wohave
had, I should say, dose to a thousand
rejected applicants for every one accept
ed. The tests, though not ironbound as
to form, are pretty rigid. In the first
place, tie candidate must have letters of
recommendation. If these are saisfacto
ry, he makes out an application blank,
which gives us some idea of bis educa
tional limitations. This being satisfac
tory, he is talked to by some one of the
officers and told to return in a day or
two, when he has another consultation
with other officials who put to him such
questions as they desire.
"In this way we get aome inkling of
the man's personality whether he is
of good appearance, intelligent, polite,
easy in manner and of good address.
These are very important matters, and
many candidates otherwise qualified
fail here. The suooessfnl candidate goes
on the waiting list, and when his turn
comes be is sent out under the care of
aome old conductor to learn the ropes.
"First, last and all the time he is in
structed to be courteous to his passengers
and attentive to their wants. Often a
man f ails, for some unforeseen cause, to
become a good conductor afte he has
been tried. Boally first elass men are
hard to get, bnt we keep on trying can
didates until we find the right one. On
entering our employ the man is required
to furnish bonds for $500. Our men are
usually bonded by a security company.
They got from $75 to $100 a month
wages and from this buy their own uni
forms. "
Having secured bonds, a uniform and
experience, the candidate becomes a full
, fledged conductor. Here his troubles be
gin. His duties are many, bnt he soon
gets used to those. He must in the first
place look after the sleeping car tickets,
and at night most take the train tickets
as well, handing them over to the train
conductor in the morning. Thenhemnst
' look after the car in general, keep an
eye on the porters, apportion the berths
properly, a nowise ea3y matter some
times, and see that the temperature and
atmosphere of the cars are all right .
Ho must be up and moving at .every
station where passengers are likely to
board the train, answer any number of
questions, bo prepared to take charge of
matters in case of breakdown or other
accident, fnmiBhing a full report later
to the company, see that the passengers
are all informed of the whereabouts of
the dining car in the morning, wake
them np in time, act as arbitrator in
cases of difficulty between passenger and
passenger or between passenger and par
ter and do a thousand other little things
that cause wear and tear on his brain.
Bnt these ore not the matters that
bother him. It is the personal eccen
tricities of the passengers themselves
which turn the conductor's hair gray.
Borne one once said that to know a man
as he really is you mnst'travel with
him. A conductor will tell you that to
know a man as he really oughtn't to be
you must travel with him in a sleeping
oar. In general, those who travel by
niht may be divided into three classes:
First Those who sleep themselves
and let other people sleep.
Second Those who sleep themselves
. and keep cither people awake, . r
Third Those who don't sleep them
selves and won't let anybody else Bleep.
It might besnpposed that therein one
other classviz, those who lie awake
themselves and let other people sleep
but these specimens are so rare as not to
form a class. They are abnormal, like
white crows or two headed calves. A
Wagner conductor, who has grown gray
iu the service, says that ho never knew
- bnt one of this kind, and he was an in
sane prisoner in charge of two officers.
He fulfilled the conditions because he
was bound, gagged and shackled. New
York Sun.
go Many Bomanktf.
Kissers have lipsomania.
Waiters have tipsomania.
Bailors have shipsomania.
Bkaters have slipsomania.
Barbers have dipsomania.
Drivers have whipsomania.
Inebriates have dipsomania.
Deadbeats have skipsomania. .
Tea drinkers have sipsomania.
Mild drinkers have Dipsomania.
Poker players have chipsomania,
Detroit Free Press.
Education Triumphant.
Mistress (angrily) ee, Bridget Ican
write my name in the dust
Bervant (admiringly) Oh, mum,
that's more than I can do. There's noth'
ii.b' like education after all, is there,
iiiumf American Hebrew,
MONTE MEN TAKEN IN.
Bow Herrmann Astonlwlied fhmio E'mteh
Kwtudlen toy His Trick.
"I am not a lucky card player at any
time," said Professor Herrmann. "I
did win $2,800 atone sitting at Del
monico's one night, bnt that wits the
largest stun I over won. I ciui play only
with my friends, for in a company of
Btraugers, if I wore to win and tiioy
were to find ont that I was a conjurer,
the impression would be that I miunpu
'lated the cards, and that, yon know,
would be unpleasant. For anrasemeut
I frequently play and show a little par
ty of friends what could bo done with
cards by practiced fingers. Yea, many
times I have found my power to manip
ulate the pasteboards very ham'iy, and I
have frequently been able to frustrate
sharpers who purposed to fleece tne un
wary. "I remembor that in 1887 I sailed
from New York to France to visit my
relatives in Paris, and I carried four or
five $0 goldpieces to give to my
friends' children. Ariving at Havre, I
met a friend in the person of the secre
tary of tho Russian legation at Paris,
who was also journeying toward tho
capital. Wo went on together and occu
pied toward the same compartment on
the train. At one of tho stations three
men came into our compartment. They
were Frenchmen, and it took only a
glance to show that they were gentle-
nionwho lived by theirwits. They were
dressed in tho latest fashion, though,
and apparently found little trouble in
getting an excellent living in their lino
of industry. When I gave the conductor
my ticket, I took out my pocketbook,
and one of the three, a nice little Pari'
sian, caught sight of my gold double
eagles. He was at my side, while his
companions sat on the opposite seat.
"That flash of the gold was enough
for the fellow, and ho began his game.
He asked me if I were an American, and
if I knew anything about gold coins,
this to open a conversation. I replu-d
'ves' to both questions, and on my ask
lug why he desired to know he pulled
a goldpiece from his pocket and asked
me what it was. He had got it for noth
ing, he said, in a card game. I told
him it was a Srjanish ounce worth $16.
Then he and his friends began to play '
cards, and he said he would show them
the gamo at which he won the ounce.
It was the old three card nionto trick,
well known in America, but compara
tively new n Europe. The three sharp
ers, posing as casual travelers, placed
their layout, and the little man at my
side showed them how easy it was to
pick up the ace from the ovorcoat,
which formed the card tabla Quite a
little money changed hands, and I saw
that my friend, the Russian, was get
ting interested. Liko all Russians, he
had a passion for gambling. .
Have nothing to do with this
game, 1 tola him. 'iieave tnem to me.
I manifested an interest in the play,
and when the fellow sang out, 'A hun
dred francs you. can't pick up the ace I
I cried, 'I bet yon, ' and as I flung down
the money I seized his hand, which was
hovering over the three cards in a row
and overturned the ace. Tho window
was partly open, and swiftly picking up
tho cards I flung them out, or rather
they thought so. The sharpers raised a
pretty row and talked very ugly for
awhile. Then I thrust my hand into
the little man's vest and pulled out the
cards one at a time. You should have
seen the looks ou those fellows' faces.
'You're a conjurer, ' cried one of them.
'Yes, I am Herrmann,' I replied, 'and I
know threo card monte better than any
of you, ' They left the train at the next
stop and sneaked away, looking very
cheap. They were raw hands at it "
Chicago Post
Perfumed Bnttorflies.
Fritz JIuller discovered patches of
singular scales on the wings of butter
flies, which sent out more than 80 dis
tinct odors. These sccntscnlesarecalled
androconia. An excellent study by mi
croscopical sectionsof the whigsof some
of our butterflies, by Professor II. B.
Thomas, appears in The American Nat
uralist. He shows that these scales are
the outlet of unicellular glands situated
at the bae of each scale.
One especially prominent was detect
ed beneath the androconia in the wing
of Danais archippus. The surface of the
wing abovu the glands is sometimes cov
ered with a great number of papilke,
from the end of which the "scout scales
project, or it may bo like the ordinary
surface of tho'wing. In the former crtso
the androcouia are quite small and but
one to each papilla, at the base of which
lies the gluud. This gives the scent
scale the appearance of a small rod
placed in a flask.
The material elaborated by the local
glands and distributed npon the surface
of the wing by the androconia is that
which gives to many of the lepidoptera
their characteristic odor. Philadelphia
Press.
the Economy of Pure Food.
There are many persons who, from a
misguided sense of economy, purchase
food -which they know to bo inferior,
so that they may thereby save, in order
to meet other demands of tho family.
Handsome clothing and fine houses in
aristocratic neighborhoods are desira
ble, we admit, but not at the expense of
the most important factor of our exist
ence, especially when we know that
pure, nourishing food is the immediate
cause of pure blood, and consequently
moro perfect nerve and brain power. It
is not only fulse economy, but positive
crime, to obtain edibles below the stand
ard for the purpose of sustaining both
the mental and physical health of any
human being. Baltimore Telegram.
: 'i Steady, v
"I fear our new bookkeeper is not so
steady as ho ought to be, " said the sen
ior partner. '
"Don't know about that," replied the
junior partner. "He was out with a
party of us the other night, and when
the session was over ho was the only one
who didn't wabble a bit " Indiauapo-
lis Journal
AN EXPERIMENT IN THIEVERY.
Tli Greater 1U1 Not CnlnulHto ou the
J'lmutor Uoiug So I leafy.
At the tmio Geronnno was mussa-
oreiug peopki lor amusement and stir
ring things up generally along the bor-
of o.J 3Icco and tho states I was
witu a pmftyof Anienren engineers who
vwo roiwiruetnig a branch if tho Mex
ican Central railroad not fcr .fw.i the
border add directly m old (.lerouiiuo's
taTitrc;.-.
I iswru t!VVf tho Indians and tho poor
r o!..s n. iVesicar.s aro lm-etcrnto
rhiovw rati v.'ill s.te:;l a::yt!urt:; Ch-.y
aa '.uansje t carry away vrl.'uont to
U114 (htc"',.sl. 7 hey will stMil a tiling
ft .1.',- rcu55c.-of whether is is at any
; n.-iu to intm or not
t ar p;:rty bad missed quantity of
tool supplies of railroad iron, ties,
etc., ami could not iuiagiuo how the
thieves could utilize the material unless
tnoy were building a little railroad tor
Gisir own amusement, fciyht titer
mht we plucNMl guards to watch fur
them, but it seined they always know
when tie guards wire on tho lookout
and refusal to ufcenipt afeuv on tin
night So we concluded that the cul
prits w members of the cauip and
knew all that was going on. After ar
riving r.t tttf.t ' conclusion we wads it a
practice to collect all portable property
into convenient groups and guard it
can-hilly.
In tho outiit we had a larie steam
pile driver, a heavy piece of mucliiuory
difficult to transport oven under the
most favorable circumstances which
we did not deem necessary to guard, never
for a monieut thinking the thieves
would attempt to make away with it.
But, as subsequent events showed, wo
had underrated Mexican acquisitive
ness. It may be well to explain that a pile
driver is a sort of derrick varying in
height from 00 to 75 feet." It woigha
several tons and is held iu an upright
position by strong guy topes. This pile
driver was located in advance of tho
camps and probably a quarter of a mile
from the nearest.
One bright moonlight night the camp
was aroused by an unearthly noise and
a heavy crash, the disturbance seeming
to come from the direction of our pile
driver. We immediately surmised some
devilment knowing, as we did, that the
"greasers" were nono too friendly to
' los gringos, as thoy called the Ameri
cans. Four of us hastily arose, buckled
on our revolvers, and with a Winchester
apiece moved on the enemy. When we
reached a knoll a few rods from and
overlooking tho location of the disturb
ance, we "limbered up"-our artillery
and cautiously peered over the knoll,
expecting to Bee a baud of Indians or
"greasers" doing some sort of malicious
work and were fully determined to an
nounce our disapproval with a hot
broadside from the Winchesters. What
we did Bee when we viewed the scene
of the commotion surprised us more
than would have the whistling of a few
bullets aronnd our heads.
Tho Mexicans had attempted to steal
our pile driver and had brought a team
of burros to drag it away. They of
course placed the team in the wrong
position, cut the guy ropes and the pile
driver fell squarely across the backs of
the poor little burros, smashing them as
flat as tortillos (pancakes). '
After that our pile drivers were safe
in Mexico. Chicago Record.
He Got Tnrnlp Seed.
There is a gcutleman in Alexandria
who involuntarily started a farm. It
happened this way. His front yard was
as barren of grass as Bill Nye's head is
of any hirsute adornment. With a view
to having it green and pretty he went
over to the agricultural department and
begged some lawn seed, which were
willingly given him by Secretary Mor
ton. He then returned home, and with
much satisfaction and expectation plant
ed them. Pictures of a beautiful green
lawn and neighbors green with envy
were conjured np before his fanciful
mind, and he watched the beaming sun
shine and refreshing April showers with
the deepest interest.
In a fow days tho sprouts began to
show above the earth. But thoy were
very curious looking sprouts, and they
seemed about as much like blades of
j grass as a spade. is like a pick. The gen
tleman began an investigation. The
sprouts began to grow with rapidity,
and in a few weekBtheicwaBmorepros-
pect of having a vegetable garden than
a lawn. Authorities were consulted,
and after a timo it was discovered that
Mr. Morton had made a mistake. In
stead of grass he had presented the
Alexandrian with turnip seed. Wash
ington News.
He Knew Boys,
Tho boy bad applied for a job.
. "We don't like lazy boys aronnd
here, " said the boss. "Are yon fond of
work?" '
"No, sir," responded the boy, look
ing the boss straight in the face.
"Oh, yon're not, ain't you? Well, we
want a boy that is. "
"Thoy ain't any," said the boy dog
gedly. "Oh, yes, there aro. We have had a
half dozen of that kind here this morn
ing to take tho place we have. "
"How do you know they are?" asked
the boy. .
"They told me so. "
"So could I if I was liko them, but
I'm different. I ain't a liar," and tlu
boy said it with such an air of convinc
ing energy that he got the place. De
troit Free Press.
His Condition,
Old Doctor So yo.n think my dangh
tor's happiness is safe i- your hands, eh!
Young Doctor I know she lovca me,
and I do not, how I could live vh
out her.
Old Doctor Well, you are a young
man of good character, and I will give
you my consent on one condition.
Young Doctor Name it
Old Doctor It is that when she is
j ill yon won't try to doctor ber yourself.
1 London Answers,
TELESCOPES.
faints of TIMrerenoe Between the ltefleetlne;
ud the Aufraetlng luitruinents
A very pretty little experiment which
Illustrates the two methods of form
ing an optical image and by way of cor
ollary illustrates tho ossontinl differ
ence between refracting and reflecting
toliMcopes, may bo performed by any
one who possesses a reading glass and a
magnifying hand mirror. Iu a room
that is not too brightly illuminated pin'
a sheet of white paper on the wall oppo
site to a window that by preference
should face tho north or away from tho
position of the sun. Taking first the
reading glass, hold It between the win
dow and the wall parallol to tho Bheot
of paper and a foot or more distant from
the hitter. By moving it to and fro a
little yon will be able to find a distance
corresponding to tho focal length of the
lens, at which a picture of the wmdow
is formed ou the paper. This picture,
or imago, will be upside down because
the rays of light cross at the focus. By
moving the glass a little doner to the
wall yon will cause tho picture of tho
window to beconio indistinct while a
beautiful image of the houses, trees or
other objects of the outdoor world be
yond will be formed upon tho paper.
We thus learn that the distance of the
image from the lens varies with the dis
tance of the object whose image hi form
ed. In precisely a similar manner an
image is formed at the focus of the ob
ject glass of a refraoting telescope,
Take next your magnifying or con
cave mirror, and detaching the sheet of
paper from the wall hdd it nearly in
front of the mirror between the latter
and tho window. When you have ad
justed the distanoe to the focal length
of the mirror, you will see an image of
the window projected on the paper. By
varying the distanoe as before you will
be able to produce at will pictures of
nearer or more remote objects. It is In
this way that images are formed at the
focus of the mirror of a reflecting tele
scope, Garrett P. Benin in Popular
Science Monthly. '
Holes Delirious With Pleasure.
"I saw an odd sight in Luzerne
county," said Eckloy B. Coxa, "Six
mules that had for four years hauled
cars in the lower workings of a cool
shaft to and from the foot of the shaft
had to be. brought up, owing to the
flooding of the mine on account of fire.
The mules in all that time had seen no
light stronger than the flicker of the lit
tle Davy lumps the miners carried. The
sun was in its senith when they reached
tho surface, and the atmosphere was as
clear as orystal.
"The astonished creatures dosed their
eyes to shut out the flood of strong
light and kept them closed while thoy
were being driven to a pasture lot a
mile distant and turned loose. There
they stood trembling, as if they were
afraid something evil was about to be
fall them. Presently they half opened
their eyes and peered around in open
mouthed amazement It was dear they
couldn't understand it
"When they had become accustomed
to the sunlight they elevated their
heads and slowly swept their gaze over
culm piles, sky mountains and horizon
again and again. Toward sundown
they broke into a chorus of joyous brays,
the like of which was never heard from
mules before.
"After a quarter of an hour of that
mnsio they took to kicking, jumping,
whirling around like teetotums and
rolling on the sod as if they had gone
mad. For four days they spent their
time gazing at the new sights of Add
and sky, refusing food and water, not
even nibbling at the grass and not as
mnch as blinking an eye in deep.
Philadelphia Times.
A Prohlem In Wizardry,
We want to know why persons who
believe in wizards, or, at all events,
consult wizards, nearly always prefer to
believe in men or women who are of a
race inferior to their own or in circum
stances which prove that thoir occult
powers are of no use to themselves. The
rule is not invariable, for there have
been great wizards like Paracelsus, Rog
er Bacon, Michael Scott or Cagliostro,
who were acknowledged by those who
consulted or feared them to be in all
ways their superiors, bnt it is seldom
broken. In all the letters on country in-
perstitions which we have published,
and the much greater number for whioh
we could find no room, the "wise" man
or woman has always gypsy blood or
some peculiarity of appearance marking
out him or her unfavorably from their
kind. The wizard of India is usually a
naked savage, while those who resort
to him arooivilized belngselothed care
fully in muslin. The reverence of the
whites for the black Obeab man or
woman in the West Indies is the sub
ject of countless narratives, especially
in the French islands, London Specta
tor.
Lavender
Our fashions are French, bnt the new
color is, as a rule, our own. Last year
it was that nuzzling pink magenta
which Mr. Sargent painted in s lady's
4ilk dress in the New gallery. This od
or has been revived for 1894, and in a
mitigated form, less voyant with
good deal of the virulence of it reduced,
it will be very popular. Bnt still it
won't be the color, whioh is never a re,t
vival, but always a novelty, The uew
color promises to be an aggressive shade
of lavender, Tory sharp, very pronounced.
a little criard, something of the DQtbrof
a Michaelmas daisy. It again is a color
for the brunette, so that we shall proba
bly have dark hair come into fashion.
Westminster Gazette.
An Indian eil Orator,
At the recent oratorioal contest at the
Methodist church for the JDemorsst gold
medal the prize was won by Miss Em
inn Vunderiuiden, a young 81oux Indian
girl from gimeton agency. There wen
six contestants who had. preylonsly won
silver medals in similar contests. Mil
bank (8. D) Corraepondcat St Psal
Globe.
I will call your attention to the
GREATEST
In Dry Goods and Clothing Hats
Caps Etc. Boots
As I will actually sell Lower
reasons.
1st. I have bought out
2nd. I have been getting
od. To make room in
more space.
4th In order to make room to get more goods.
5th. I am Imying direct and am able to do it.
0th. I have nobody to keep thus hard times but myself.
Yours Truly,
M. J. BENJAMIN.
Remember the place, in the Odd Fellows building on
Main Btreet.
LEBANON, -
Vi,iWmWAVW.WAWi'rWr"A,iWiWiV
J jeftv What Is 1!o comHt'.on of yours? Is your 'j,a;r QjLfi
v harsh, brittle? Does It split at the ends? tins it a 1
ur M ; 'Hi' A l,tlf nit" v,-pli r. V iWc 1 nil nitt whpi . ,
Is it dry or in u It.;'.I condition? If th'jse are some of a
yoursymptumsbe vnrid !;:t!iuooryou villbecomebald.
SkooiaiiH Eoot Hair Grower I
'a rf
Ik rhatTCii ril. Ita ororlufit1
WiD.irctl. H ii'tV.'Jwlnn Of
JwiKf! al'yt',but.tt(Wiiifi irful'i'
tiio luiiiciei, it ai.ty
1M itrJLwp th awnlp elan.
and titfUmf tht Ami.
I Jivrjar, 6laTi:.lu.
S5i Homh ill
turn
mm
wm
S for Uit Llt Money. n V$f
Fk? '4 . I t"ft
Jt -It W". "n 'I . m art amt.a(
' Ur IV THE Wt.-J 1
I .1 nil itf iiil; urvrfffk 'fflfc l6:,33k.
stUfactlon st the prices sdvurtlKd than snr other make Try one pair ,nd be con.
yinced. The stamping of W. L. DourW name and con ,htom, which
guarantees their value, saves thousands of do ars annunlio ...i.. 7,
Bealer. who push the .ale o W. L. DouetoShwn iSJ J'?'
Increase the sales on their full line of good, T,, ' ? CU' hlc,h hell"' 10
and w. Believe you eau save by b".r I, MT,Zr ffi-ij i ppont'
tuml hw. tlosu. tree utW&S! "Jf . Z$fiuZ 2"&2J-
HIRAM BAKER - LEBANON, OR.
Santiam m Academy
1893-4.
Summer Term Begins April 30, 1894.-
For information, ask for circular at the Post-office or
address, 'i
Sj A. RAN DLE, Principal,
LEBANbN, .... - OREGON.
and Shoes.
than before for the following
my partner cheap,
new good very cheap lately.
the store because there is no
OREGON
n in
flirt '.iUTA. Of MlU U'lli-nn
. ':'..:! to Ule ilUH.'or- m
norom. Jl ?
tttlniiilatiniT J
liuirontftua Ot
:mHi.'' mid teiresiiiai; ':' i
Amr, uri Uumit njf and gromlu
SietlthT ftTif fwofrim IrftntinreRipUbn kv K
' L
l i Armvr. Ko York. H. J. ' " K
I nnnni v.n.
y S3 SHOE be,
BEHTLEUEI
id $3.80 Dress 8H40e.
Police Shoe, S 9 0ei.
jtTorworklr.gmen.
nd $1.75 for
LADIES AND MfSSES,
M.rjo $2t $1.75
SiOHs-if .ny ,WW
ny m mt m raduoMi .....
rf Myi he hM t limit wUlt-
wautv Dtmum, put him
UUWU MKlntUO,