THEIft FIRST OUARFitl. It H m Catuwrtl ty CnmiilgiutUtti of Wranff IT?Hlif and Itiul Tmnimr. , '"And yon and fr'ivd really ueror, never quarrel?" Tim falter, wlio wiiK also a privileged and intimate frii'ml. exprvs-wtl inervaKinv skepticism in the trresoeniio tones of her voice. "We never do." lie. then, an anqel? Remember. Mw, 1 was your chum at school. Citn you say as wU that yon never have quarreled?" "Perhaps it k my duty to give you on tLnbtusetl account of our first ami only quHrreL it may serve to avert a like catastrophe in your owa life on some future occasion," - Ai which the caller blushed, but was quite sure that she would quarrel any war in spite of the wanning uutess Tom let her nave things her on-n way. "Girls who talk that way always make the mostoberfient wives. But to "my story. tni would never guess that the quarrel was ai! caused by a dress, or rather by wearing tlie wrong dress in the right place, as Fred afterward said. 1 was doing my own housework in those days and sending the laundry out On this particular morn ing I allowed myself to feet a little cross over the fact that I had overslept myself. The second mishap was that my clean print dress had not returned from the wash, so I put on a pretty afternoon dress, for 1 made it a rule always to look neat at breakfast. This was some years ago, when Kowns were made less plainly than now, awl ray ill temper was not ltasened by the sound of ripping as my dross caught in the knot) of the kitchen door, nor by the sicht of the most vicious kind of a three cor nerrd tear. Momeni were precious. Fred was obliged to bike a certain truin every mora ine from our suburban home to the city, iud there was no time to repair the dam age, except so fur as a pin could be made to hold the parts together. However, J struggled prayerfully with my growing ir ritation and gathered the materials for my buwnits, when, to my further annoyance, 1 found it impossible to raise my sleeves. The woman who can make broad or biscuit with her sleeves down to her wrists and still pursue tlte even tenor of her way is fit for canonization. "I comforted myself with the reflection that biscuit dough should be handled very lightly, with finger tips only, and was suc ceeding very well when I felt my bigvet hainiin slipping down my back. I had hastily twisted my hair into a Psyche knot. and it was on this pin that the structure mainly depended. 1 could not go to its rescue With my hands covered with Sour. and when Fred looked into the kitchen and suggested that be had less than an hour in which to breakfast and reach the depot 1 felt myself outrageously ill used. His at tempt to pacify me with a joke on my 'flowery appearance I resented as an in sult. It seemed to me that many a woman had obtained ft divorce on Less grounds. "Well, that was all there was about our first fpiarrel, a least all that I care to repeat, for I said a great many unjust and unwarrantable things in my anger, and it 4mght have had a much more tragical end ing but for Fred's sweet temper. Jt was a most one sided quarrel. You see, dear, I plead guilty to all the reproach implied in that little feminine speech, 'Remember. Meg. I was your chum at school.' But. really you would not find me such a Ixtd .chum now, for I Inui I have improved by aSMXMHtiOJl. "When r'ml left home lifter his most chccriess breakfast I sat down to indulge in a (it of retrospection over the events of that ill starred morning. I am willing to say now that it was all the fault of my temper, but then I laid it all at the door of that inappropriate dresa with its abomina ble draperies. 1 made a resolution then and there never again to wear any but a suitable dress in my kitchen, one made in such a manner as to bid defiance to door knobs and keys, and one with sleeves wide eiiouifhtorolitip. Next I decided that I -wouid uevt-r again trust to one hairpin, and. thirdly, -that my boots should always be butioncd before I left my room. I for got to lUtuaon how largely my unbuttoned boots contributed that morning to my un happy frame of mind. "You don't see any particular moral? There are several. First, be sure to marry a man wish the ix-st disposition this aide of Paradise. Koxt, cultivate an even temper youraif, if yon are not already blessed with one. i mean one evenly good, not evenly bad. Agniu, if you do your own housework, wear a mutable dress. Don't take your old street dresses for wear in the kite lien, Better send them to some mis sion." However, the caller assuml the moralist that she never intended to do any kitchen work, and so that sermon was lost. New York Recorder, The Origin of Hoodlum. Alxuit twenty or -twenty-five years ago there lived in ban Franciscoacouplebythe name of 0'Houjhliban, who were bletwed with a family of boys who were the terror of that region; ignorant, brutal young toughs, whose only pastime was torment ing, abusing and beating ait the other youistere in the neighborhood. They were so much dreaded, by the neighbors that when they were seen approaching children were called indoors and kept there till they bad gone to a safe distance, and it was easy to know when they were in sight by hearing women calling, "Pataey, Mary Ann, come in; theHougblihans Is cumin." The 0 was dropped in baste of calling the young ones: aodafier a little the name, a somewhat difficult one to pronounce at the beat, was in tbe mouths of the Ger mans, Italians, Chinese and nationalities residing on the Barbary coast, corrupted into "hoodlums," and the Houghlihan boys and their associates became generally known aa tbe lioodlums. Portland Orego nian, ' ' " ; Kmp Tour Ej Open. The man who journeys through (his world with hiayes open will learn things very day for nothing that other people have had to go without butter on their bread to find out. Ham's Horn. The wonderful development of the orange industry of California is seen from the fact that in six counties there are already 1,000, V A trees bearing and over 8,000,000 trees on the way to productiveness. THE HIGHEST AWARD. Royal Rakin 1'nndvr Hat AM th Bon .r-I Mmncth aud Yalu 90 fmr Cent Above lt Nsareat Competitor. The Royal Baking Powder has the imvi able record of having received the highest award for articles of its class greatest ! treitetlt. mirvat ingredients, most nerlectiv combined wherever exhibited in oomneti- turn with others. In the exhibitions of former Years, at tbe Centennial, at Paris. Vienna and at tbe various Htate and indue trial fairs, where it has been exhibited, judges have invariably awarded the Royal Baking Powder the highest honors. At the recent Wond's Fair the examina tions for the baking powder awards were made by tbe experts of the chemical divi sion of tbe Agricultural .Department at Washington. The omciait repor of the tests ol the baking powders which were made by this department for the specific purpose of ascertaining which was the best, and which has been made public, shows the leavening strength of tbe Royal to be Itil) cuoic inches ol carbonic gas per ounce of powder. Of the cream of tartar baking powders exhibited at the fair tbe next high -est in strength thus tested contained but KiS cubic inches of leavening gas. The otner powders gave an average of ill. The Royal, therefore, was found of 20 per oeut greater leavening strength than its nearest competitor, and 1 per cchi above the aver age oi an tne otner tests. Its superiority in other resnecta. however, iu th mialitv of tbe food it makes as to fineness, delicacy and wholesomeneas, could not be measured by figures. It ie these high qualities known and ap preciated ry the women of the country fur bo many years, that have caused tbe sales oi sue Koyai jiaKuig rowuer, as shown by statistics, to exceed the sales of all other Dating powuere combined. An EcunttiuUU The summer boarder was Ashing when Farmer Betmsb came along. "Gee whiliikens! what on airth air yon a-doin?" he exclaimed as the sportsman deposited a small fish in his basket. "I'm fishing." was the reply. "You ad vertised good fishing, didn't you?" , "Yea. Don't you know the fish'!! die ef you keep em out o' water? You don't think I'm goin ter spend money every week puttm new nsn into tbet there pond jes' fur you city fellers to ketch, do you? No, sir ree!" and the proprietor of rural jevs lurried the contents of the basket into the pond and indignantly Btrode on. Wash lugtou Star. Ada-V7hy does Clara sneak of George as "her mtended?" Are they engaged? Alice No, but she intends that they shall be. Brooklyn Life. Earning a ftrauke. Tom Jenkinn was as great a joker as be was a smoker. He once got into a first class compartment in a railway carriage where a sour looking old gentleman was seated. "You mustn't smoke here," said the old gent as Jenkins pulled out his pipe from his pocket. "1 know that," said Jenkins, calmly fill ing his pipe. "Did I net tell you," said the old gent again, "that you mustn't smoke here? It's not a smoking compartment." "I know that," said Jenkins, calmly tak ing out his fusee box. They'reaspecialkind that be prides himself on. He calls them his "patent stinkers." 'He lit a fusee, and now the wrath of tbe old gent was frightful. "I say, sir, you shan't smoke here," he shrieked. "I know that," said Jenkins, allowing his f usee to exhaust itself. He lit one after another, allowing them to burn out. The brimstone was awful and the smoke suffo cating. The old gent was coughing and spluttering and struggling for words. "I say, sir," be exclaimed at length, "smoke, smoke, smoke; for goodness' sake, smoke!" "Thanks, awfully!" said Jenkins as he lit another fusee and this time applied it to the expectant pipe. Tit-liits. Wafting For Wind. ; Small Boy (on river bank) Do yon know 'bout weather? Old Gentleman I have studied meteorol ogy a little, "Well, I've been standin here 'most a hour waitin for the wind to blow hard, and It don't biow a bit. Do you think it will oon?" "I shouldn't wonder, my little man. The sky looks very streaky. Hut what do you want of wind ?" , "I want to have a swim." ltdoes not require wind to go swim ming." "Ko.but mamma won't let me go In. That's why I want wind." I don't understand." "Don't? Guess it's a good while since yon was a boy, isn't it?" "Yes, a good while." And your mem'ry isn't very good. I s'pose?" Perhaps not, 1 certainly cannot recall any connection between wind and swim' xning." "Wy. don't you see? If a wind comes along and blows my hut into the water, I can go after it, and mamma won't say a word. She paid a dollar au a half for that nat." Good News. , , A Big Uvarr BUI. A Bangor man who sont his office boy to return a hired team to a stable re ceived several days after a bill for the board of the horse and another bill for the hire of the team for the time in-1 terrening. The stupid boy took the team 1 to the wrong stable. The wan said he wouldn't mind so much, but vhere seemed to be no limit to the nnmiwr of cigars he is compelled to pay for at tho tnstanos of i jeering friends, "-Exchange.' , J Her Intentions. v V- 1 "! &rjf A Lightnimt Stroke. On the "Huuf Muv. mi, a party of la dies and wml emeu went in p,n omnibus from WuHtuuutou to the country seat ot H, C. Mt)t7troEt. distant uiuu miles, iu Prince George's county. Md. During the afternoon the party was sealed ou the spacious veranda of the dwelling, the horses aud omnibus standing on the lawn immediately to the front. Suddenly a few cloud gathered, and be fore any rain fell a severe and sudden clup of thundur startled them. At the same instant a llaalt or streak of lightning de scended and ripped apart the southwest eornerof tbe roof of the frame carriiifje house, standing alone UOOfect distant, de scended down the sheathing to midway Of the west or end wall of tbe car riuge house, then at tight uugles apparently to the center of the wall where the clapboarding was ripped and shattered; then struck a brass tipped pair of shafts standing near the northwest an gle. shattering the right hand shaft alwut midway, where a strip of iron covered with leather wits placed to serve as a stay fur the breeching strap: then apparently passed down and out at the floor by the closed door of t he carriage house, where it was plainly seeu by all the company mov ing along rapidly in small coils or circles up the nmd leading to the veranda, to the hoofs of the horses, playing around them with great velocity and then apparently dissipated, no one could tell where. The horses were greatly agitated, fairly trem bled, but riitl not move, und most of the company on the porch experienced a tin gling, stinging seusutiou, but none were stunned. The sky soon cleared. Science. A Womanly Ant. "It was," utid the relator, "several years ago when we first moved here. At that time persistent bonnet wearing wax not in vogue in the smaller towns, although in New York even then the custom wan well established. Soon after my arrival 1 was invited to a church entertainment, and was chagrined ou reaching tbe dressing room to liud every woman except myself in a dressy bonnet which she did not lay aside. "Perceiving my own blunder instantly, H was with a keen seuse of embarraKMiuent that I, perforce, put oil my knitted 'fas cinator' and faced the prosH!Ct of spending the evening among strangers singled out by my unfortunate ignorauce. Undoubt edly my face displayed the mortilicatiou 1 felt, for 1 noticed a lady looking at me sev eral times iu a friendly, half sympathetic way. She was evidently a well known and popular woman in the company, for every body greeted her with great cordiality, and you may fancy my sweet relief when this woman, whose heart was as tender a& her face was lovely, fussed about, fanned herself conspicuously and dually declared the rooms were going to be unbearable and she believed she would leave her bonnet up stairs, 'it will be so much more com fortable.' "She must have sighed to put off the dainty little article widen completed her handsome toilet, and I noticed her buir, dressed fur a bonnet, needed considerable arranging to lie presentable without one, hut I am sure her heavenly crown got an especially brilliant jewel that night fur her most womanly succor of a sister in distress.''-Her Point of View in New York Times. He Could Kot Tell a Lie, Peyton Fitzboumer, a somewhat effem inate reprwtmtative by descent of one of tbe oldest of the F. F. V.'s, desired us a -personal attendant or vnlet a servant who shonld lie absolutely truthful. He had Buffered much from the prevaricating pro clivities of former menials. Heat length found in the person of Julius Caar, a youthful darky fresh from tlte interior, one who promised to suit him. Julius de clared that he did not know bow to lie aud that he would never try to learn. One day Fitzboorner appeared dressed in a fashion roost fetch tug. He was bound on a visit to some lady friends. "Julius," said he to his new servant, "how do Hook?" "'Plendid, mas'r! 'Plendid!" "Do you think I'll do to see the ladies, Julius?" "Ob con ree yo' will. Golly! mas'r, I nebber seed yo look so fine h'fore in all my born days. Hi! yo' look as bold as a lion!" , "Why, Julius what do yon know about a lion? You never saw one." "Nebber see a lion, mas'r? Oh, bress you, yes. Don't Mas'r Dixon's nigger Jim ride one by here ebery mornin?" "Why you fool! that's a donkey." "Can't help it, mas'r. I don't know how to tell a lie. You look just like himl" New York Ledger. : Meanings of the Word "Stove." The word stove, as applied to a heater for a room, seems to be of alwut the same age as tbe article to which the name is now applied, as while the word as a name had an existence in early English, it was used in a different sense. Both Lord Bacon and Woodward used it as referring to a house or room artificially warmed, and particularly a hothouse for plants. Bacon also used the word as a verb in the way of keeping warm in a house or room, as 1 'to stove orange trees aud myr tles," to quote from his writings. Fepys used the verb in a nautical sense, as heat ing for the purpose of making pliable, as "stove bolt ropes." But all these definitions are obsolete now, such disuse dating from the time when Dr. Franklin made his discoveries and applications. The French word etuve, It may be added, describes a hot house or bathing room, and hence Is parallel In meaning with the early English word. Philadelphia Press. Facts About Blaek Ink. Kb chemical black ink has yet been made which will write black immediately ou ex posure. The common black ink is made of nutgalU, and is by all odds the best ink ever made. Manuscript written in this black ink 600 and tKJO years ago are just at legible today as when first written. The chemical inks of the present are of too re cent invention to determine whether they will last, but it is quite probable that most of them will be as legible at the eud of fifty or seventy-five years as they are to day. There is, however, a fortune in store for tbe man who will invent a chemical black Ink which will write black at the first and remain so.' FIRST LOVE. Oh, gray eyw, full of love, nf light ljMtk hnitk -iltli me to that hour Wlttift Dsylitrta i the arms of Nlnht, ' Left one soft itiar In every flower, Thv stars esnw nut in ltlii our way AcnH the meadow w wm n'isr Oh, Low! Oh, Uivu! can thai swtwt day Hot urn no more no mare It t could Iihvp Imt one dear boon hi al! my life It woiiM be this That hour, that hunr that lied so soon, The cttey of yotir itrt ktw. Oh, Itlie immim, and love ami thought Orow cnldw oft my heart Is sure, For the soft iwncu that moment brought Returns no wereno more. :, Ethwheth Cherry Halre. Work That the Heart Dot. The work of the heart Is the circulation of the Itfe giving blood throughout the body. With each stroke or heat of the heart, it projects something like six ounce of blood into the bodily cunduiTH, throwing it for a distance of U feet. This it does til' times each minute. 4,140 times each hour, W.WW times in a dtiy, WUfHMOfl times inn year and 2.fWO,iW7,liiA times In a lifetime of 70 years. The blood in propelled by the heart If feet each Iwat. yardH each min ute, 7 miles in an hour. Kit miles iu a day, tit .817 mites iu a year and W.to.l-D miles in the 70 years. The total force exerted by the heart every twenty-fmir hours has been calcu lated to la equal to 124 foot tons; that Is, if the whole force expended by the heart it) twenty-four hours were gathered into one huge stroke, such a power would lift VM tons one toot off the ground. This beiug the daily force, that exerted In a year would lie equal to 4b:M) foot tons, and that in a lifetime of seventy years B.ITO.uu), Such is the enormous amount of work per formed by the human heart, which only weighs eleven ounces and is alwut tbe sine of the closed list. Brooklyn Eagie. I'roncU Tact. ' A pleasant story Is told of bow one of the Dukes de KivernoiHshoweft himself willing to forgive and forget. His olive brunch was exteuded with characteristic French wit and grace. ' The Count de Tressun was elected to tin French academy in UNO. He was surprised to leara thnt the Duke de Xivernuis. whose enemy he had beeu aud against whom he had once directed a scathing epigram, had spoken in his furor. He hastened to call on him and thank him. The eon vernation turned ou general sub jects, and de Tressan found tiu upiiortunlty to refer to the past, or to make the em bar rmwed apology which be wuuld no doubt have offered but for his host's tact. Just as he wits leaving, the duke said with a mischievous but kindly smile: "Ah, monsieur, you see bow iu growing old I have lost my memory." ifouth's Companion. Kepretam) lmUffnatlun. Repressed indignation is an Interesting phase of human feeling. uch restraiut in frequently required in good society. 1 hud the phfiiHure of attending a most agreeable 6 o'clock tea at a house on Massachusetts avenue one day. A gentleman who came in sooti itfter myself, in bowing to tbe la dies right aud left taught bis foot in the leg of the wicker tea tuble and upset the whok affair spirit lamp, cups, saucers, sugar bowl, cream pitcher and all The disaster was most lamentably complete. And yet the hostess was obliged to control her wrath and to accept apologies with a smiling demeanor, saying that t he accident was really of no moment whatever. Wash ington Slur. lU'lmktMt. Several years ago the Rothschilds held a large quantity of cotton In New Orleans, which tbey instructed their agnut in that city to twill when cotton should reach a cer tain price. The ageut, believing that the price of cotton would go beyond the figure named by his employer, held ou till he was able to sell it at a price which netted $40,000 more than he would have got fur it If he had obeyed his orders from London. He joyfully informed his employers of bis success, supposing they would share his satisfaction at the result. Imagine his surprise and chugrin when he received a reply, saying, iu substance: "The $40,000 you made by disobeying your instructions is not ours. It is yours. Take it. Mr, -, your successor, starts for New Orleans today." elan Francisco Argonaut. An Energetle Vonng Woman. A young woman of Harlem repairs, mends and cleans the dresses of women whose time is occupied in other ways, and can better afford to pay her than do the work themselves. Bince the ioug street sweepiug trains have been in vogue she has had so much work that she has had to employ an assistant. In her advertise inunt she says she "goes out to do meuding, sews on buttons, repairs trimmings, replaces worn bindings, mends the flannels, darns underwear and hose, mends delicate laces, cleans gloves and satin slippers, hunts for rips and weak buttons and puts new whale bones in basques," New York bun. : Horac Greeley's Umbrella. I remember one incident of mv father's I indulgence. One day he brought home an umbrella with a wooden dog's head as a handle. My covetous little heart protsceded I to set Itself upon that canine effigy. In vain papa offered me a whole dog. But I pleaded fbatno other head in the world . would be like that head, aud the result was he sawed It off and went back to town ; with a hundless umbrella. Mrs, Greeley tieuueniu in lines' Home Journal. 1 ' , ' Peculiar Showers. There have been Beveral peculiar showers in the United States during the last quar ter of a century, among others a shower of "quivering flesh" in Kentucky, a shower of edible mushrooms in South Carolina, a shower of small seeds in Btatesburg, 8. C.. In and a shower of sulphur in the In dian Territory in the spring of 1683. American Notes and Queries. - Ifwarfould be carried on by the rules laid down for students in the dreadful art, it would become an easy process. In mili tary tactics it Is the "expected" which happens; iu real life, the "unexpected," i Heart. ) I PLANT PKHKVNMffRfr If V thin veur, tout initkf r rttr liwt lima Vfrv' i'" Annunl lor I8 will J W give yon many valuiitilf hllitt MM tilxmt wtiut to rlwnno liowtojfjr . . mtitt1 It, It ntntmtts infnrma- ykuon to he hurl from iKiotSttrir X souref. Vtfv in all D, M. Ferry k to-jQP igh-oit. "German Syrup 5 My acquaintance with Boschee's German Syrup was made about four teen years ago. I contracted a cold which resulted in a hoarseness and cough which disabled me from fill ing my pulpit for a number of Sab baths. After trying a physician, without obtaining relief I saw the advertisement of your remedy and obtained a bottle. I received quick and permanent help. I never hesi tate to tell my experience. Rev. W. U. Uaggerty, Martinsville, N.J. gssssssssS s Swift's Specific s s A Tested Remedy For All s s s s c Blood anil Skin Diseases C5 A reliable cure for Contagious i w Blood Poiaou, Inherited Bcro- g fula aod Bkin Cancer. g SAi a tonle for delicate Women a and Children it hai no equal, Q SBeinx purely vegetable) is harm- O euin iu effects. W SA trtlw on Tltond anrt Sktn DJa- G sawn malka kukk on miulliwduu. S S lrugvUt$ Sell Jt. g SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., q Ortwef a.Atlarrti.Gi. O SssssssssS Purity arid Lejveninrt,Pov'er UNEQUALED. QAH PRI?ES To Introdtien onr Powder, ws hsrs d termiuMltodlatrltiateamonR the cfinaum ni a nnmbur of Cahu PKIZICB. To tbepsraonorclnbreturtilnc Dstlkourawt nomtmrofcertttlcaMoonor befora Jqub 1. 18S4, we will Rive a OMh print of C 100, and totiinnextlargmt, numernuii othui prlaaa OOSSET & PEVERS.PORTlAT 0t RUPTURE PERMANENTLY CI'RKIIW NO I'AV, No PAT UWTII. eil'BEl). Wd tulrr u &,uo InllenM. Noohkati"K. o iibtotio mm Bramisii. ,Wr(uorf!nIl (or clniHtarmni bunk mleninra, tiuwlmi Ipn. The 0. E. MILLER CO.. Muquim Bulmln), POHTLAKD. OBKVON lncoWH'i) Capttgl .ml Sufplttl. 11,000 000. gtf Ak Tour Dealer t r ORONOCO Plug-Cut Smoking Tobacco. WEBB I CO., Seattle, Wash,, Agents. DR. GUNtTS IKPBOYIO LIVER PILLS ty KILO PHTSIC ONE PILL FOR A DOSE. make It regular. Thny mint Hdaoh, brig h wo tb JBpa and ole4r the unmplexion better than ooe me Hoe. Ther eat mlldlr, aoltber arlponor alnkenae other pUU do. To oonvinoe jrou of their merit wUlmallMmptnfrM,orBfiulboxforIi(ti!f)nta. BolA SVMfWlwrt. itoeauSs BlwL Uh. fbUwletplU. . , IKCUBA TOflSonlMsrAUJfSHm. Best makes. Mm tut i nriitwi. mna lor oautuwua, U . U. blrlAUH, Mluon. Ual. MHS. WINSLOW'S S0SBHUVN0 - FOft OHILDKEM TCGTHINQ ' to "runkU. WOau.DMtU.