A SPLENDID 8WIMMER.
Cupula Hlondi'il'i ICxploit m
Httvet. ,
Captain L. D. Blondell, i,he nwimnw
Bnd life tiavi.tr, is now giving lessons In hh
art In St. Louis, awl modestly claim m he,
since the dent I) or Captnin Matthew Webb,
the greatest swimmer iti the world. He is
an artist In that line, too, and an ont hunl
sat, and claims that It is all men's duty to
Inurn to swim, especially soldiers, sailors,
boatmen and travelers,
"Why," he says, "do you know that 40
per cent, of the men In the United Statu
navy do not know enough about the art to
save themselves from drowning if they
should fall overboard In harbor 1 have
never Keen any statistics on that subject,
but 1 believe my statement to be true, for
when I lived, at Norfolk years ago I used
frequently to go to the navy yard over al
Portsmouth, and being interested In the
subject I made It a point to ask every one
of the sailors I could get Into conversation
with If he knew how to swim. 1 got, near
ly ob many negative answers as affirma
tive. Even many of the men in the life
saving service cannot swim astroke. They
would drown tf they should fall out of u
boat I nay nothing against them. They
are sturdy, line physical men una rule,
and they go through more hardship for
fifteen dollars a mouth than any men In
any other branch of the federal service."
He is a great admirer of Captain Webb
and thinks that gentleman' venture at
Niagara was legitimate and praiseworthy.
The captain's great feat in swimming to
Point Breeze from the middle of Chew
peake bay he regards aa a lesson of tin
mouse value to Americans. Captain Blon
dell, by the way, in a native of Baltimore
and acquired hi early skill by swimming
In tho Chesapeake, He wait captain of the
life laving if nurd at Point, Breeze and
CAITAIM BLOtSDKU.
mvmI ninny livi'i, tintt the betit practical
DODClllNlOU t.() tlliH llttl lt(ti(!t! IH tO Jtivtf tlix
Mmwur to t.li qut'.HtioiiH wWutl by a ruporttr
of the 8b. Louin PohL-1Ih)ulLuIi:
"How do you avoid bcliiR tlntKKec nuder
by (IrownioK iMTOijiuy'
"Kwp oil uuiil you ne bow they are go
ing to act. 1 tlit-y lotto tholr bends and
try to grab you, let them gut llielr Ml ol
wator and pull them out after lliey are
hulplcHR, Otherwise tliey will drown you
aa well aa theniHelvea, When you bare
them, don't try to bold them up out of the
water. That ia too hard and tiring. Get
the drowning uiau on tiia back, put your
band under nia head and awim with the
otbor. going ahead of him. Then if be
tries to grub let go, and you are out of hbt
rcnob."
"What in the best way to swim?"
"On the right side, with the heart near
the surface, Bwim low in the water, be
cause the more you protrude the greater
the weight you have to carry. While on
the side you cut the water more easily
than going breast on, and you are In
an easy breathing position. Swimming
brcust on the head is thrown back in an
unnatural, tiresome position, straining the
leaders of the neck and making breathing
diflloult. On the side the stroke is baud
over band, one arm never appearing above
tlie surface."
Dickens Hltuuld Have Known TlteDi.
Frequenters of thu Temple iu London
well know the young blind fellow who
tanda under the shelter of the outer wall
just beyond the foot of the steps leading
Irom Khhcx street. Winter and suinuier
ha is there with matches, bootlaces and
pencils for sale, and a purchuser is re
warded with the cheeriest "Thank you.
air; thank you, sir," Just beyond, on the
opposite side of the road and bard by the
gardens, is an old and huue crossi ng sweep
er. He likewise is an institutlou and a
character. Use hiserossing ueverso often,
you will never be asked lor a copper, but
his thanks when one is given him are as
- cheery as the biiud man's.
Punctually at 6 the former houses bis
wares and ohair ami footstool with a
friend in the Temple, and makes his way to
the ourb, ou which he knocks a oertaiu
number of times with his atick, and
waits. The old crossing sweeper spies him,
responds on the pavement with his broom
to let him kuow that lie lias been seen fur
the corner Is a dangerous one and then
hurries away to consign his -broom Into
friendly custody. Heturniug, he hobbles
. slowly across the road, links his arm in
that of the blind man, aud off they go,
comparing notes ou the happenings of the
day and the prospects of the morrow. It
. Is a touching sighw.he tender solicitude
of the old nian for his younger but more
heavily afflicted friend.
There are tluu.uui) domestic sen-ants in
London. That is to say, about six to
every policeman. We really must lu
crease the force, suggests a writer
The Intensity of the mind's emotions
is often greater when the troubles are
mail, so curious is the mental state of
those bordering on aberration.
Both Greek and Roman ladles painted
their (aces: for white, using white lead,
for red, the Juice of an unknown her
THE DYING EDITOR.
Aa Cnknown (,'mitrttiiitttr Tells or His
' Woes in ltlank Verso.
The owner of a paper lny dying in
his lair, and the dew of death had
gathered on his brow so palm and
fair, but a printer Itnelt I uside him
as his lifoblood ebbed i way and
asked the dyinp; editor if lie hod a
word to say. The doomed man mur
mured softly as he grabbed the
printer's fist: "Well, at last the
struggle's oyer, and I never will be
missed.
"Take a message and token to that
city man of mine that all his worn
out chestnuts he had better put in
brine. There's his joke about the
weather, which he used this many
years, and the gag about tho fellow
who is always hunting beers, and
the item he's so fond of on the man
who peddles books, and the chestnut
based on people who go fishing in
the brooks. Just to save the paper's
credit and to cast no slurs on mine, I
would ask him as a favor to put
such gags in brine, and the lies
he's fond of telling of the street cars
and the tucks, and the one about
some dandy who will never pay for
clothes, and the one on women
cleaning house it's weary heaven
knows I
"Oh, I know I'll slumber happy in
my grave beneath the vine if the
man who does the city work will put
those jokes in brine. Tell the man
who tends to business not to weep
when l am dead, but to buy himself
a club and hit the first man on the
head who comes in with strings of
items and requests them printed
free when the regular rates are
cheaper than they really ought to
be. Tell the foreman when he
makes up not to turn a rule for me,
but to simply print an item saying
that my soul is free, for I waut no
eulogistic taffy of that kind in mine,
and I think such hoary chestnuts
should be pickled well in brine.
Have that guy and fresh reporter
I engaged the other day put a stop
to saying 'Helah!' also "We have
come to stay !' And if lie should say
Ke .local you must trample in his
gore, for you know I'd ne'er allow
it in the happy days of yore. And
the man who comes to tlJ you how
to run the paper well should tie
greeted with a pewter chestnut bell.
And you'll print the paper promptly,
be the weather full of storms, and
the foreman must be careful when
he is making up the forms that the
beauty of the pupermay through all
ages rfune, and not be like its neigh
bors, only fit to put in brine." Yen
owine's Milwaukee News.
Jogging Hit Memory,
A story told recently was of a big,
burly fellow who used to drive a
team from the Kennebec valley into
Piscataquis county selling crackers
for a bakery. On one of the outly
ing farms on his road lived a small
man who hud won almost a state
reputation for beating his creditors.
He met the peddler, who did not
know him, and bought a barrel of
crackers, to be paid for when lie came
back ou his return trip. By that
time the peddler was posted on the
peculiarities of his customer. He
was told at the house he was out in
the field, and went to seek him.
When he iwked for his pay the lit
tle fellow cocked his head on one
side aud looked up at him with a leer.
"Who are your he lisped. "Idon t
know you. I never bought any crack
era of you." The peddler grabbed
him by the collar and began to swish
the air with him. "Don't know me
do you? Ain't acquainted with me,
beyt Don't know who I amt Never
bought any muckers of me, hey!"
"xes, yes, yes I the victim began to
yell, "I know you now. I remember
you. I'll pay; I'll pay." The ped
dler dropped him,- accepted the prof
fered money and drove on as if noth
ing unusual had happened during his
call. Lewistou Journal.
Mr. Armour's Charities.
Philip D. Armour is a Chicago man
who makes More money than the
average American citizen would
know what to do with. But Mr.
Armour, while a man of simple
tastes, with no desire to throw money
Into Lake Michigan for the solo pur
pose of seeing it sink, contrives to
disburse large sums yearly for the
betterment of the human race. In
a public way, excepting the Armour
mission, kindergarten, dispensary,
etc., Mr. Armour has done little as
yet to immortalize himself among
the great benef actors, but his list of
private charities is a long one. Many
a boy has he helped through school
and college, and many a poor family
baa he relieved trom distress, Uig
personal appearance is that of a man
who is in close contact with the good
things of life, and a glance at his
home shows that he knows how to
spend money for the comfort of his
family and tor the gratification of
the better tastes. Now York World.
Not Niipernlltioui,
Uncle Job Mcintosh, an elderly nctgro
who lived not many years ao on one of
the Georgia sea islands with his wife
Hannah, used frequently to rebuke his
wife for her "sloopcrstishin." "Yo's a
heap too slooperstishis, Harnah," he
would say. "Why ain' yon done obsarve
me, ole 'oman? Yo' ain' nebber seen me
min no slooperstishin. Dey ain' no dog
howlin wot kin skeer me; dey ain' no
black cat wot kin make me belcebe dat
I'ze g'an for to die!"
Aunt Hannah paid no attention. She
waa accustomed to let Job assert his su
perior virtues without contradiction, be
ing quite aware that he was no better
nor wiser than his fellows.
Tho very night after this positive as
sertion on Job's part of his independence
of superstitions Aunt Hannah was sud
denly taken very ill with cholera mor
bus. Job, after satisfying himself that
hor case was really alarming, set out
just at sunrise to fetch the doctor.
He was just making his way in a do
pressed frame of mind through the path
overgrown with wild orange and jas
mine that leads from bis cabin to the
boat landing. His eyes were upon the
ground. Suddenly he became aware that
some object was confronting him on the
path and he looked up with a start.
There standing facing him was a big
black cat, its glossy back arched, its tail
erect and swollen to what seemed an ex
traordinary size, and its golden eyes
glittering in the light of the rising sun.
It was merely some wandering tabby of
large size returning from a night's foray
and startled by Job's quick approach in
to making a bold show of resistance, but
to the negro's dazed eyes it was an aston
ishing and terrible object.
Job threw up both hands and screamed :
" 'Tain't me, Marse Satan! "Tain't me
dat's Bick, I tells ye. It's my ole 'oman
Harnah dat ye come for. 'Tain't me,
Marse Satan!"
Jack Tolliner. on his way to the rice
plantation, came np just at this moment
and took in the whole situation, and
while the cat turned and ran off through
the jungle. Jack laughed long and loud
at Job's fright. Youth's Companion.
What's lo a Name?
He was a small boy traveling with his
father and mother on a train, and the
way is which be warwhooped up and
down the car aisle made him a terror to
the other passengers.
"Sit still." said his father in a foghorn
voice; "bow can I hear myself think
when you're making such a racket?'
"There, there, Johnny, dear, yon dis
turb pa," said his fond mother.
But the infant terror kicked and cried
and refused to keep one position a sec
ond at a time.
"I'd like to have the raisin of that
boy 1 just would." said a sharp fea
tured woman who nod her knitting
along,
"1 wouldn't mind having a hand in it
myself," said a man who was regarding
the youngster with murder in his eye.
"Sit still. J ohnnie, dear." said his moth
er placidly for the SOOth time.
"Why don't you call him John? He
might pay more attention to you then."
said his father crossly.
"What's in a name?" asked the mother
"By any other uame he would be our
Johnny still."
"Then for heaveu'B sake give him an
other name," retorted his pa, "for he
hasn't been still a moment with the one
he has."
Then he plugged his ears with cotton
while the other passeugera encored bis
last remark. Detroit free Press.
Astronomy and Photography.
Modern astronomy is more deeply in
debted to the science of photography
than the average reader may imagine.
Without the aid of the camera and the
perfect views it has given us of the
bodies "far out in space" our knowledge
of celestial geography in the latter part
of this the grandest of all the centuries,
would be meager indeed. When, where
or by whom the camera was first point
ed skyward with the intention of photo
graphing a planet, or even a whole sec
tion of the star spangled canopy which
envelops our little world, I will not
attempt to say. but the grandest of
all such undertakings is that which
has been inaugurated and partially
carried out by the astronomers and
scientific photographers of the world
during the past two years. Some mas
ter mind conceived the idea of mapping
the entire sky of making a bypath
chart of the heavens, as it were. This
idea when fully matured was commu
nicated to others interested in that par
ticular branch of science, and the result
was an agreement that a celestial atlas
should be made. St. Louis Republic,
A Snake In a Bug at Potatoes.
A man purchased a bag of potatoeB at
the Capo Town market, and when the
potatoes were turned out at his home he
discovered that a puff adder was in
cluded in the bargain. That viper must
have been callous indeed to have ex
pended no venom during its transit, and
it is to be hoped that the potatoes were
well examined after being in such com
pany. The colonists are wonderfully
expert in dealing with such quarry.
Cape Town Letter.
Liability of a Telephone Company.
A telephone company which for several
weeks permits its wires to remain suspend
ed across a public highway & few feet from
the ground is liable to atravelerwhocomes
incoutuct therewith during an electrical
storm and is injured by a discharge of eleo
trioity. Electrical World,
. THE CHAMPION HORSE THIEF.
A. Mob Who Has Been a Criminal for
Many Years.
John Wolf, alias Henry Miller, alliw
Henry Brown, allan Charles Henry Prung,
alias "General" Neff, certainly is aremark
able man not because he has bad a dozen
or more names and about as many wives,
but because he is seventy-two years old
and hasbeena horse thief thirty odd years,
"GENERAL" NKKF.
as well as a soldier ami ordinary business
man. He is, or waa a few days ago, in jsil
at Belleville, Ills., and his criminal career
1b apparently run, for bis life is now pretty
well known, and he in too old to take a fresh
start.
His history begins in 1840, when he was a
respectable citizen of St, Louis, He vol
unteered for the Mexican war, served with
honor, located in New Orleans and claims
to have been worth 100,000 when the civil
war began. He lost it all, but escaped to
St. Louis, and having learned tricky way
in evading the blockade found it impossi
ble, so he says, to quit. In the Ust thirty
years be has been in prison at least a dozen
times and sentenced to long terms nearly
as often, but has as often escaped, gen
erally by feigning insanity and getting
into the hospital. His capacity to change
his appearance was wonderful, and on sev
eral occasions he was rearrested in the
same city as before, and the officers failed
to recognize him. He got the nickname of
"general" because his most skillful "in
sanity dodge" was to act as if commanding
an army in battle.
In 188a large loeses of cattle and horses
in the vicinity of Carlyle, Ills., were traced
to Neff, aud he was captured, having in
his possession when arrested . thirty-two
horses, one of them being worth $1,200,
Neff was sent to the penitentiary for seven
teen years on this occasion. When he had
been a year or two in the penitentiary he
began to work the insane dodge again.
This time he pretended to be silly and
idiotic. The police system of the country
was not so perfect then as uow, when a
criminal is as weil known by his record in
one city of the Union as another, aud Neff' s
dodge again succeeded. He was sent to
the insane wards and for a time made no
attempt to escape. He finally was regarded
by the attendants as only a harmless im
becile.
One day in IWT he again disappeared,
and shortly after horses began turning up
missing in Neff 's old haunts. The author
ities realized that they had been duped,
but although strenuous means were re
Borted to to capture Neff he evaded arrest
until March 10 last. On the night of
March -JO last Police Officer Dennis Mc
Guire, of the Second district police sta
tion, found a white man and a negro light
ing on the corner of Trudeau and De Kalb
streets and arrested them both. When
taken to the slatiou Captain Huebler rec
ognized Neif , and lie was sent back to Ches
ter to finish his seventeen year sentence.
Five mouths ago he again escaped and
was not captured until recently. Now he
is in on his old sentence, his dodges are
known in all the police and detective
offices, and, as lie (sorrowfully says, his
career is run. He expects to die in prison
and is reconciled to it.
HE'S AN EGG EATER.
A Line tu Which a Chlciigoun Hub Mmle
it BuccettH.
French Pete is the pet n-me of a Chi
cago celebrity whose baptismal title is
supposed to be Peter Perche, and his spe
cialty is thus set forth by himself:
"Some folks paints pictures. Some writes
books, but I eats eggs and cuts hair and
shaves. Katin eighty-four eggs in twenty
minutes hain't uo more to me than drinkin
a cup of coffee."
It is too true. His first feat, however,
was to eat twenty-four egys in five min
utes, but that, he said, was too easy; he
wanted something to really test hispow
HiKNCH PKTE.
ers, and so the barbers of Chicago have
bet on his capacity, aud the test is to be
made at the barbers' tournament, so to
speak.
The Barbers' union of "Chicago have
made grand arrangements for this con
test to be held soon. There will m from
sixteen to twenty chairs, and the contest
will be for speed and efficiency. One hour
will be devoted to shaving and one hour to
hair cutting, among white barbers only.
Women will have an opportunity to dis
play their skill in dressing ludies' hair
aud will receive prizes, but will be charged
no admittance fee for contesting. Prises
to the amount of $100 in cash and about
300 in various articles will be distributed
A gold medal goes to the champion, white
medals of various kinds will be given as
J'erniiii'le4 tu Work.
While in Cttjainarx'tt in the Cordillera
I was sitting with iny hosts one even :
ing at the door of their house. Sud
denly there was a great noise in the
quiet street, and a horseman rode up.
It was a friend of the family, who waa
on his way to settle an account with a
troublesome debtor. When we hinted
that a creditor would hardly be ordina
rily received at such an hour, he touched
something hangingon the pommel of his
saddle, and said that he had something
there which would settle the matter.
His debtor was an Indian who lived
not far away in the country, and who
had promised to make for him 300 or 400
large adobe bricks in payment for Borne
small wares which he had purchased
two years before. He seemed perfectly
willing to fulfill his contract, and when
ever he was reminded of it would prom
ise to be on hand the next day; but he
never appeared.
The merchant was repairing his house,
and according to the custom of thecoun
try hud taken the law into his own
hands, An hour after he left us he re
turned, calling out triumphantly, "Well, ;
J have my man, you see."
His lasso was unrolled, One end was ,
tied to his saddle; the other waB tastened
about the wrists of an Indian. I shall
never forget the captive's impassive face. ,
His strong features, framed in long locks
of hair, expressed neither anger nor as
tonishmentonly philosophical submis
sion to fate. The next day at dawn I saw
hiin cheerfully at work with the air of a
man who was glad to pay his debts. .
Curiously enough, when some time
later another man wished to engage his
services he declined the offer. He liked
his employer and hiB work and had no
desire to better his condition. Marcel
Monnier.
Death to tho Honiei. L i
It is a white and dreary plain. There
is a line of straggling gum trees beside a
feeble water course.
Six wild horses brombies, as they are
called have been driven down, corralled
and caught. They have fed on the leaves
of the myall and stray bits of salt bush.
After a time they are got within the
traces.
They are all young and they look not
so bad. We start. They can scarcely be
held in for the first few miles. Then
they begin to soak in perspiration. An
other five miles and they look drawn
about the flanks, and what we thought
was flesh is dripping from them.
Another five, and the flesh has gone.
The ribs show, the shoulders protrude.
Look! A poler's heels are knocking
against the whiflietree. It is twenty :
miles now, There is a gulp in your
throat as yon see a wreck stagger out of
the traces and stumble over the plain,
head near the ground and death upon its
back. There is no water in that direc
tion, worn out creature.
It comes upon you like a sudden blow.
These horses are being driven to death. -And
why? Because it is cheaper to kill
them on this stage of thirty miles than
to feed them with chaff at 250 a ton.
And now another sways. Look at tho
throbbing sides, the quivering limbs,
He falls.
"Driver, for heaven's sake, can't you
eer
"1 do; so help me God, 1 do, But
we've got to get there. I'll let them out
at another mile."
And you are an Anglo-Saxon, and this
is a Christian land. "Round the Com
pass in Australia."
Kftfecteit a Compromise.
In a certain Maine town lives a man
who for many years has been engaged in
the grocery business, but receiving a
good offer he sold out to a younger man
and'retired to private life. But the rul
ing passion was too strong to let him
long be idle, so he commenced building
a store on his laud, which adjoined that
of the Methodist church. For a time
everything went harmoniously aud the
new store nesired a state of completion.
But just at this point up came one of
the trustees of the church and said,
"Your store sets over on our land one
foot and it will have to be moved." This
rather staggered the prospective grocer,
and he retired to ponder over the ques
tion and study the deeds of his land aud
test the ineat'urements.
In doing this he discovered that the
back of the church rested over on his
side of the line three feet. Armed'with
this new argument he said to the church
owners, "If you will move your church
three feet 1 will move my store one." '
This view of the case was a uew one to
the church authorities, but recognizing
its force they made all baste to effect a 1
compromise. Lewiston Journal,
' Btruiigo Story About a Babe.
The latest doubtful yarn comes from
Crab Orchard, Va., where it is said that an
extraordinary infant was horn recently. It
lived only a few seconds. It was well de
veloped, bad a full and beautiful set of
teeth aud long, flowing hair of a dark hue.
It was exceedingly pretty and seemed to
be possessed of all the mental faculties of
maturity. In a clear voice it said, "Tima
here is short," and then closed its eyes aud
passed away.. This, together with the ap
pearance of the comet, which Is supposed
to carry death and destruction in its wake,
has created considerable consternation in
that community, and the superstitious are
expecting every moment to hear the final
blast from Gabriel's bugle.
fyidd Doble, the well known jockey,
who has held the reins over Nancy Hanks
In her wonderful performances on the trot
ting track, eujoys the additional disti no
tion of having been celebrated in verse by
Dr. Holmes.
mailer prizes. .