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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 25, 1891)
CONTENT VS. DISCONTENT.
Oni, uttefled with what mint bn hr lob
'Twbh not a mnennt lot-awenety meant
Xever to waml-r from hor hiimhln oot,
Mode btwtuif ut by wise and nwet content
Ami on, diMMtlHAMl with all hn had,
Rovwl from bin plaua Into the world's mad
Whnt did ht flndf Wll, It wm not an bod
The follow found tlial cottage and that girl,
"A. W, H." In The G'mitury.
THE LADY'S MAID'S STORY
"Yen, thIss, certainly, I lived with Mrs.
Birch MIhs Grlg that was before she
married Mr. Birch, I knew alt abont
that affair. It was very singular Indeed
very. I'm not sure that I ought to
mention it, for II a lady's maid oan't hold
lier tongue whe can't Ond good places.
Dear me, I'm no talker. I'm as mum as
amoimo. BitfthelMof pearl powder and
quarts of rouge have I applied with my
own hands, and nevor bo much an hinted
at, Ah (or cotton, bless your heart I've
never breathed about it, and I did live
with a lady once that took arsenic regu
larly for. hor complexion. That's no
secret, for she took too much one day, by
accident, and died.
"There wiw an inquest and 1t all name
oat. It's well it did, for stwpicion pointed
to her husband, ft Somehow, it always
(eiim to strike a jury that a husband 'is
the likeliest person to wish a wife out of
the way. But thia isn't anything about
paint: Miss Grlgg, being on the Btage,
made no secret of that. She played queens
and such, mhs, I've often had tickets
given me and gone with my young man
to see Her act. And wtien she was haughty
and curled her none like, miss, and looked
at other folks over her shoulder, and
talked awuy down in her throat like a
pigeon gurgling, she was splendid, miss.
It made me think how nice it would be to
be a queen and to take airs over every
body. "Well, Miss Grlgg was engaged to be
married. Mr. Hlrch hud fallen in love
with her when she wns playing Hamlet's
ma. 1'erhapti you have seeu the play,
tu'mf The young man object to his ma
getting married the second time, so I
aeeined to make out, and acted most im
pertinent, giving sass to his ma and his
step pa, and carrying iu awful. And
there was a poor young lady quite out of
faer mind that afterward got drowned.
"Well, Mie was playing Hamlet's ma,
and Mr. Birch Ml in love with her and
sent her n letter, and called and made an
offer, all in no time. She accepted him,
of course, and the preparations for the
wedding began. 1 don't think any lady
ever hud so many dresses before. Bilks
and sal Ins, and velvets and laces. Dear,
dear; 3d mo. 's whole establishment
was hard at work for a month, and If I'd
had twenty fingers, Instead of only ten,
I'd have hud use for them all.
"At last everything whs finished. The
trunks were packed, fifteen of 'eui, miss,
and fourteen were to goon that afternoon,
and one the one with the wedding and
traveling dresses was, of course, to be
left and go with the bride when she started
next dsy. She was to l married at 10
o'clock in church and then drive home,
Imve a spleudid breakfast, chance her
dress and catch the JJ o'clock train. Of
course 1 saw to the trunks, and 1 was very
cart ful, but just when I ws nueded most,
just as the trunks were going down stairs,
Miss Grlgg called me.
"Miss Grlgg was a lady who didn't like
to wait. 1 weut to her at once, miss, as
wus my duty, and I said to Bridget Dus
ter, the chambermaid:
" Bridget, watch that black trunk and
eoe that the men don't carry it off!'
"Bridget understood with her elbows,
of course, miss, and after I had been to
the land's end for two yards of blue rib
bon of exactly euch aw hade as she wanted,
and got buck, I fouud that she had sent
off the black trunk tlrst of all, and was
very proud of having been so careful
The trunks were all miles away by that
time. There was nothing for It but to
toll Miss Grigg. She tlew at me, miss. X
dou't blame her for being nugry. 1 would
forgive her in such a case, fche flew at
me violent, miss; and then, miss, she had
spnsms. Hue beat the sofa, she tore her
hair, she screeched, and me all the while
" 'Kemember your eyes, miss. Think
how you'll look. Your nose is swelling
"Finally she came to and bathed her
face. And says she:
" 'Flora, what ahull I do?1
" '1 don't know, miss,1 said I, 'unless
you put off the wedding until you tele
graph f( r the trunk.'
" 'No,' aaid she, 'that unlucky; be
sides, one never knows. Kon ain't to be
" 'You might borrow a dress,' said I.
" 'As it I'd be married in one that
didn't lit,' said sho, 'Slop, don't speak a
word. I've an idea.1
"She sat with one finger on her lips for
a while. Then she saldi
" 'My embroidered dressing gown. The
white one! That's here?'
" 'In the bureau, miss,' salt1 1.
" 'Very well,' said she. '1 11 be mar
ried In that. Telegraph for the trunk,
" 'The white dressing gown, miss?' aaid
I, nearly astonished out of my senses.
" 'Yes,' Baid she, 'the white d-esslng
gown, goose, you don't think I'm going to
be married in church in that 1 won't
put off the wedding, and I won't stand
up before a crowd in anything but my
white satin dress! But I'll be married at
the appointed hour, for all that. So tele
graph for my trunk and come back sooii,'
"When I came back 1 found MissGrigg
in bed and tho doctor sent for. He wat
"puKzled, 1 could see that. He couldn't
tell what was the matter, aud Miss Grigg
Was too faint to speak. He questioned
tne. I said she had -Iraeu very much agi
tated. He prescribed something and weut
off, bidding me send for him if she seemed
worse. The evening paper published the
report that Miss Grigg wus diugerously
ill, and Mr. Birch came to the hotel in a
terrible fright, an pale as a sheet, to ask
how Bhe was. I took him down 'Her
love, aud sho was very 111.'
."Then MIm Grigg said to the ladles who
1 had come in: Leavo me with my faithful
Flora, 1 and we were left alone. I can't
-eay ihat'l'Wtift sm-pl'rHedvhon she flat up
in bed and guid briskly;
1 'Lock the door, Flora. I'm sick of
lying on my back. I've taken them fn,
haven't 1? Yoa see what I am about
" 'Exactly, miss,' aaid I; 'to be too 111
to be married when the time comes.'
" 'No,' said she; 'to be ill enough to be
married in the white dressing gown. I'm
going to be married on my dying bed,
"I gave a screech and she laughed, and
then she made a supper of sardines and
biscuits and wine, and she threw the med
icine out of the window. Early next iW
the doctor camo. I answered his quest n
us to what sort of night his patient ltad
passed by saying sho hud been 'much the
BArne. And then t took a little note she
had written to Mr. Birch.
"I knew what was in it. She told him
'that rather than leave the world without
keeping her vow to him she would be
married on her dying bed.' I powdered .
her up well, miss, and I dressed her in
tne enmromerai dressing gown, with tin
roses at the throat. I pulled down the
green shades and darkened the room. She
fixed the pillows to prop herself up with,
and then skipped into bed.
" Uiive me my pearl bracelets, she said,
'and the handsomest of those handker
chiefs, and all my rings; and Flora, mind
ymi must soh all through the ceremony,
I'm going to lie calm.'
"We hadn't five minutes more, hut Just
as the first knock came to the door she
" 'Oh, dear I if I only could have slow
music. Couldn't you catch that "Travi
ata" organ, Flora, and get him to play
fur half an hour outside the window?
He's always on the corner. Flora, I'll
leave you something handsome if you do.'
"I did it, short as the time was, I
caught tltat man and he ground out hit
"The clergyman was a very nice, neat,
near sighted old gentleman. Mr. Birch
was the dreadfulest sight pale as a ghost
and shaking from head to foot. The
groomsman looked dreadfully sorry; the
four or five intimate friends looked as
though they were at a funeral; and to see
her, with her calm smile and powdered
face, one hand against her heart, the
other In his I was glad I'd been told to
sob; I had to do something. And no they
I feel,1 said Miss Gr!gg. slowly, that
this, perhaps the last moment of my life,
is very sweet. To die thus, with my hand
in yours ah I Dear friend, adieu. Flora,
my faithful maid, take this ring.' J saw
her pick out the cheapest; but no matter.
'Remember me by it. Now leave us.'
"Then everybody kissed her and went
ont of the room sobbing.
"In a moment more there was a scream;
Mr. Birch had fainted away. It took an
hour to bring him to.
"The reporter of the evening paper wa
wait ing outside for the news. It was pub
lished all over that night, but the next
afternoon the traveling dress came back
in the blHck trunk.
"Yes, miss, of courser-Miss Grlgg I
mean to suy Mrs. Birch recovered at
once. And that 's the whole story. I'm
the only one that knows it, and I wouldn't
mention it, to any one but you, ma'am."
New York News,
Advice to Young Writer.
Don't give up your occupation, from
which you derive regular income, until
you are sure that were you to give your
whole time to writing you could produce
enough articles, and articles of the proper
kind end quality, to bring to bring to yoa
cash returns large enough to supply such
wants as yon believe must be filled. Until
that time comes and when it does come
yon can tell much better than I keep on
writing, reading and thinking. Accumu
late all the ideas you can. Accumulate
all the articles you -cannot sell, and ac
cumulate all the customers you can. Do
your writing early In the morning when
ever possible, and always keep your eyes
on the future.
This lost is very important in onefpar
ticular that I tun afraid young writers
too often neglect. You must expect what
seems curt and often harsh treatment
from editors. Take this always as a mat
ter of course, as one of the crosses of the
profession, and never lose your temper.
Uo not allow your seusitlveness to nut
you on bad terms with any editor. It is
like flying in the face of Providence. You
may forget what you considered an insult
at his hands, but he never forgets if you !
resent it, aud if, years after, you offer
him an article, it will most likely be re-;
turned without regard to its merits.
Never argue with a bull, a mad dog or
an editor. C. M. Hammond in The
"Courts of Conrl Mutton."
"For years there has existed in Den
mark,' said a well known lawyer in the
Hoffman house the other day, "what are
called foutigelsis kommissiuu, or 'courts of
conciliation,' which have worked to a
charm and are well worthy of Imitation
everywhere, and especially in this coun
try, where all our courts are crowded to
repletion with business. These are not
courts of arbitration, but are conducted
on this plan: There is one judge and two
assistants, none of whom are professionals,
but are token from among citizens the
same as we take jurors, by consent of all
parties. Jwery case to be acted on must
be brought before these courts of concilia
tion before it can be taken into a regular
court of law. The plaintiff comes without
counsel, none being allowed on either side,
and states bis case plainly, and the de
fendant is summoned to appear on a cer
tain day, either in person or by proxy,
otherwise he is fined if the case has to be
taken to a law court. Then each party is
heard and questioned by the judge, who
tells them of the legal rights and duties
of each and gives advice or suggestions.
The parties are not obliged to take this,
out if they do, and agree to settle, the
judgment is without appeal and final.
New York Eveniug bun.
The people of Portland, Ore., have recently
lubsonbed a Bum to import a choice selection
of European siuging birds to enliven their
gardens and groves.
Experux ents are being made on Prussian
railroads with axle boxes fitted with boor
Ings of vegetable parchment In place of
RIDING ON A SHARK.
Thrilling Adventure of Prof. Swan
on of fteqtifll Point, col.
Swimming Teacher hwanson of the
Capitol a bath-house at Sequel Point,
CoL, treated the reporters there to a
thrilling spectacle the other day. Hie
feat was nothing less than an
exhibition f bare-back riding,
the burden bearer being a monster
shark, which was captured the same
day in the nets of a fisherman and
towed Into the slip. Its arrival cre
ated great excitement among the
visitors at that report. No amount of
fissuram e on the part of the proprie
tors or the hotels or the fishermen that
basking sharks were not man-ea ers,
and that manv had been caught with
no accident happening, could entirely
mnuT, ihfl THH.ru m
T.ne itJHis oi tne visitors,
and bathing was almost given up.
Some ocular demonstration of thfi
fact that a basking shark was harm
less therefore became- necessary.
Swimming Teacher Nwanson of the
Capitola baths, then determined to give
an exhibition with the shar which
should convince the most timid, A
performance followed, the like of
wnicn no man ever participated in be
fore. Nwanson put on a bathing Buit
and Bwam to the wharf where
the partially exhausted monster lav.
still partly wrapped in the torn aud
tangled nsntng nets, slowly approach
ing the gasping yet enraged monster,
a whale in izv if not. in species, Swan
son swam close to his side and then
c ambered slowly on top, a moderately
easy task to accomplish, as
the shark lay almost entirely
under water. Sitting astride the
huge fish like a fcahy on an de
fiant, the bold swimmer shouted in
triumphant derision at the several
hundred people on the wharf, who had
gathered to witness the strange per
formance, ' As soon as the shark had realized it
had gath red something on bis back it
commenced to thrash about and threw
Hwanson off. Women in the crowd
shrieked in fear and men held their
breath in excitement. It was hardly
minute, however, before Swan-
aon appeared umniured and
laughing outside of the line of foam
caused by the shark's struggles. The
undaunted swimmer again went to the
side of the shark aud once more
mounted his marine steed. The
shark again showed its fear and anger
by snaking htm off, but not so vio
lently as Iwfore. With great persist
ence Hwanson repeated the perform
ance till at last the shark became tol
erably tame. Daily exhibitions are
now given and his sharkship has be
came quite a favorite with bathers who
delight in wild, reckless riding, bo
far no one has ventured a ride out to
lbacu aud HI Plars
There Is a funny row about Ibsen
and his plays in Australia. Jn the be
ginning of J une a theatrical matinee
was given to raise funds for the Wo-
men s College of the University of Syd
ney, and the play selected was Ibsen's
Dukkehiem." Various dignitaries
allowed ttieir names to be printed as
patrons ot tne performance, but when
the Countess of Jersey, the Governor's
lady, was applied to she refused, say
me that from what she had heard of
Isben she had no wish to see one of his
plays, and that it was impossible that
an actress who could play in such a
piece could be a lady. This was
thought to be a cruel and gratuitous
insult to miss Acliurcn. who was to
play the principal character. Letters
have been written to the London news
papers remonstrating against Lady
jersey a narrowness.
The Collapsible Clerk.
A little miss from Dearborn avenue en-
tered a North Clark street stationery Btore
wearing an expression that plainly told that
she knew just what she wanted. In truth, she
had been repeating the name of the article
she had been Bent for from the time she had
left her home, and thought she had it pat
"tiiveme, said the little miss, "a dime's
worth of stub toed pens."
And the clerk rolled up bis eyes and flop
ped over quite extinct. Chicago Herald.
Making a Good luipreulon.
"Bobby," cautioned his mother, "the
bishop is to dine with us today, and you must
be very quiet at the table, I want him to
think that you are a good little boy,"
Very much impressed, Bobby ate his
dinner in silence until his plate needed re
"Pa," he said devoutly, "will you give me
some more string beans, for of such is the
kingdom of heaven, n The Epoch.
A Bard One In Division.
"I see," observed Mrs. Snaggs, "that the
BUium or j&anzibar leu tweuty-evea wid
"Yes," replied Snaggs, heartlessly, "he
ripoaud heavy crop of weeds vary sud
denly." 'That wasn't what X was thinking of.
What 1 cau't understand Is how all these
widows will get their thirds.'1- "
Hathwr Too Appropriate
A rather tough joke was perpetrated on a
bibulous member or the legal fraternity last
week, and tho author may as well prepare to
ave someway collect ms lire insurance if
the victim ever (earns who he is. The law
yer had Just recovered from a quiet junket
and was surprised a few mornings ago to re
ceive at bin oftlce a neat package of black
loam on which a card rested. Uu the paste
board was the inxcriptiou : , " Real Irish earth.
rio" snakes can live near Itr'V The lawyer
ays it's too appropriate Buffalo News,
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A tark points hciivenwnrd when it menus tho
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FIFI fl SEMINARY
J Oakland, Cal.
Twentieth vear. It Protetwors and Teachers.
Comprises Primary, In termed late, Academic and
College I'Toiwrfltory DepHrtmetitd.
Dtsi mtinuus ur insikuumun emploted.
THOKOlUiH HCHOI.AUSHII1 EXACTED.
BulldliiKH I ii villi i j and comfortable. Grounds
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M KB. W. B. HYDE, Principal.
WE WANT to BUY
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U FARMS, ETC. U
Bend us list of your property with beBt terms.
TEVI8A FISHER, Real Estate Agts.
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Refbrbnces Georffe C. Perkins of Gooiiall,
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