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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 25, 1891)
CONTENT VS. DISCONTENT. Oni, uttefled with what mint bn hr lob 'Twbh not a mnennt lot-awenety meant Xever to waml-r from hor hiimhln oot, Mode btwtuif ut by wise and nwet content Ami on, diMMtlHAMl with all hn had, Rovwl from bin plaua Into the world's mad whirl. Whnt did ht flndf Wll, It wm not an bod The follow found tlial cottage and that girl, "A. W, H." In The G'mitury. THE LADY'S MAID'S STORY "Yen, thIss, certainly, I lived with Mrs. Birch MIhs Grlg that was before she married Mr. Birch, I knew alt abont that affair. It was very singular Indeed very. I'm not sure that I ought to mention it, for II a lady's maid oan't hold lier tongue whe can't Ond good places. Dear me, I'm no talker. I'm as mum as amoimo. BitfthelMof pearl powder and quarts of rouge have I applied with my own hands, and nevor bo much an hinted at, Ah (or cotton, bless your heart I've never breathed about it, and I did live with a lady once that took arsenic regu larly for. hor complexion. That's no secret, for she took too much one day, by accident, and died. "There wiw an inquest and 1t all name oat. It's well it did, for stwpicion pointed to her husband, ft Somehow, it always (eiim to strike a jury that a husband 'is the likeliest person to wish a wife out of the way. But thia isn't anything about paint: Miss Grlgg, being on the Btage, made no secret of that. She played queens and such, mhs, I've often had tickets given me and gone with my young man to see Her act. And wtien she was haughty and curled her none like, miss, and looked at other folks over her shoulder, and talked awuy down in her throat like a pigeon gurgling, she was splendid, miss. It made me think how nice it would be to be a queen and to take airs over every body. "Well, Miss Grlgg was engaged to be married. Mr. Hlrch hud fallen in love with her when she wns playing Hamlet's ma. 1'erhapti you have seeu the play, tu'mf The young man object to his ma getting married the second time, so I aeeined to make out, and acted most im pertinent, giving sass to his ma and his step pa, and carrying iu awful. And there was a poor young lady quite out of faer mind that afterward got drowned. "Well, Mie was playing Hamlet's ma, and Mr. Birch Ml in love with her and sent her n letter, and called and made an offer, all in no time. She accepted him, of course, and the preparations for the wedding began. 1 don't think any lady ever hud so many dresses before. Bilks and sal Ins, and velvets and laces. Dear, dear; 3d mo. 's whole establishment was hard at work for a month, and If I'd had twenty fingers, Instead of only ten, I'd have hud use for them all. "At last everything whs finished. The trunks were packed, fifteen of 'eui, miss, and fourteen were to goon that afternoon, and one the one with the wedding and traveling dresses was, of course, to be left and go with the bride when she started next dsy. She was to l married at 10 o'clock in church and then drive home, Imve a spleudid breakfast, chance her dress and catch the JJ o'clock train. Of course 1 saw to the trunks, and 1 was very cart ful, but just when I ws nueded most, just as the trunks were going down stairs, Miss Grlgg called me. "Miss Grlgg was a lady who didn't like to wait. 1 weut to her at once, miss, as wus my duty, and I said to Bridget Dus ter, the chambermaid: " Bridget, watch that black trunk and eoe that the men don't carry it off!' "Bridget understood with her elbows, of course, miss, and after I had been to the land's end for two yards of blue rib bon of exactly euch aw hade as she wanted, and got buck, I fouud that she had sent off the black trunk tlrst of all, and was very proud of having been so careful The trunks were all miles away by that time. There was nothing for It but to toll Miss Grigg. She tlew at me, miss. X dou't blame her for being nugry. 1 would forgive her in such a case, fche flew at me violent, miss; and then, miss, she had spnsms. Hue beat the sofa, she tore her hair, she screeched, and me all the while Baying: " 'Kemember your eyes, miss. Think how you'll look. Your nose is swelling dreadful, miss.1 "Finally she came to and bathed her face. And says she: " 'Flora, what ahull I do?1 " '1 don't know, miss,1 said I, 'unless you put off the wedding until you tele graph f( r the trunk.' " 'No,' aaid she, 'that unlucky; be sides, one never knows. Kon ain't to be deluded on.' " 'You might borrow a dress,' said I. " 'As it I'd be married in one that didn't lit,' said sho, 'Slop, don't speak a word. I've an idea.1 "She sat with one finger on her lips for a while. Then she saldi " 'My embroidered dressing gown. The white one! That's here?' " 'In the bureau, miss,' salt1 1. " 'Very well,' said she. '1 11 be mar ried In that. Telegraph for the trunk, Flora.' " 'The white dressing gown, miss?' aaid I, nearly astonished out of my senses. " 'Yes,' Baid she, 'the white d-esslng gown, goose, you don't think I'm going to be married in church in that 1 won't put off the wedding, and I won't stand up before a crowd in anything but my white satin dress! But I'll be married at the appointed hour, for all that. So tele graph for my trunk and come back sooii,' "When I came back 1 found MissGrigg in bed and tho doctor sent for. He wat "puKzled, 1 could see that. He couldn't tell what was the matter, aud Miss Grigg Was too faint to speak. He questioned tne. I said she had -Iraeu very much agi tated. He prescribed something and weut off, bidding me send for him if she seemed worse. The evening paper published the report that Miss Grigg wus diugerously ill, and Mr. Birch came to the hotel in a terrible fright, an pale as a sheet, to ask how Bhe was. I took him down 'Her love, aud sho was very 111.' ."Then MIm Grigg said to the ladles who 1 had come in: Leavo me with my faithful Flora, 1 and we were left alone. I can't -eay ihat'l'Wtift sm-pl'rHedvhon she flat up in bed and guid briskly; 1 'Lock the door, Flora. I'm sick of lying on my back. I've taken them fn, haven't 1? Yoa see what I am about now?' " 'Exactly, miss,' aaid I; 'to be too 111 to be married when the time comes.' " 'No,' said she; 'to be ill enough to be married in the white dressing gown. I'm going to be married on my dying bed, Flora.' "I gave a screech and she laughed, and then she made a supper of sardines and biscuits and wine, and she threw the med icine out of the window. Early next iW the doctor camo. I answered his quest n us to what sort of night his patient ltad passed by saying sho hud been 'much the BArne. And then t took a little note she had written to Mr. Birch. "I knew what was in it. She told him 'that rather than leave the world without keeping her vow to him she would be married on her dying bed.' I powdered . her up well, miss, and I dressed her in tne enmromerai dressing gown, with tin roses at the throat. I pulled down the green shades and darkened the room. She fixed the pillows to prop herself up with, and then skipped into bed. " Uiive me my pearl bracelets, she said, 'and the handsomest of those handker chiefs, and all my rings; and Flora, mind ymi must soh all through the ceremony, I'm going to lie calm.' "We hadn't five minutes more, hut Just as the first knock came to the door she Whispered : " 'Oh, dear I if I only could have slow music. Couldn't you catch that "Travi ata" organ, Flora, and get him to play fur half an hour outside the window? He's always on the corner. Flora, I'll leave you something handsome if you do.' "I did it, short as the time was, I caught tltat man and he ground out hit quarter's worth. "The clergyman was a very nice, neat, near sighted old gentleman. Mr. Birch was the dreadfulest sight pale as a ghost and shaking from head to foot. The groomsman looked dreadfully sorry; the four or five intimate friends looked as though they were at a funeral; and to see her, with her calm smile and powdered face, one hand against her heart, the other In his I was glad I'd been told to sob; I had to do something. And no they were married. I feel,1 said Miss Gr!gg. slowly, that this, perhaps the last moment of my life, is very sweet. To die thus, with my hand in yours ah I Dear friend, adieu. Flora, my faithful maid, take this ring.' J saw her pick out the cheapest; but no matter. 'Remember me by it. Now leave us.' "Then everybody kissed her and went ont of the room sobbing. "In a moment more there was a scream; Mr. Birch had fainted away. It took an hour to bring him to. "The reporter of the evening paper wa wait ing outside for the news. It was pub lished all over that night, but the next afternoon the traveling dress came back in the blHck trunk. "Yes, miss, of courser-Miss Grlgg I mean to suy Mrs. Birch recovered at once. And that 's the whole story. I'm the only one that knows it, and I wouldn't mention it, to any one but you, ma'am." New York News, Advice to Young Writer. Don't give up your occupation, from which you derive regular income, until you are sure that were you to give your whole time to writing you could produce enough articles, and articles of the proper kind end quality, to bring to bring to yoa cash returns large enough to supply such wants as yon believe must be filled. Until that time comes and when it does come yon can tell much better than I keep on writing, reading and thinking. Accumu late all the ideas you can. Accumulate all the articles you -cannot sell, and ac cumulate all the customers you can. Do your writing early In the morning when ever possible, and always keep your eyes on the future. This lost is very important in onefpar ticular that I tun afraid young writers too often neglect. You must expect what seems curt and often harsh treatment from editors. Take this always as a mat ter of course, as one of the crosses of the profession, and never lose your temper. Uo not allow your seusitlveness to nut you on bad terms with any editor. It is like flying in the face of Providence. You may forget what you considered an insult at his hands, but he never forgets if you ! resent it, aud if, years after, you offer him an article, it will most likely be re-; turned without regard to its merits. Never argue with a bull, a mad dog or an editor. C. M. Hammond in The Writer. "Courts of Conrl Mutton." "For years there has existed in Den mark,' said a well known lawyer in the Hoffman house the other day, "what are called foutigelsis kommissiuu, or 'courts of conciliation,' which have worked to a charm and are well worthy of Imitation everywhere, and especially in this coun try, where all our courts are crowded to repletion with business. These are not courts of arbitration, but are conducted on this plan: There is one judge and two assistants, none of whom are professionals, but are token from among citizens the same as we take jurors, by consent of all parties. Jwery case to be acted on must be brought before these courts of concilia tion before it can be taken into a regular court of law. The plaintiff comes without counsel, none being allowed on either side, and states bis case plainly, and the de fendant is summoned to appear on a cer tain day, either in person or by proxy, otherwise he is fined if the case has to be taken to a law court. Then each party is heard and questioned by the judge, who tells them of the legal rights and duties of each and gives advice or suggestions. The parties are not obliged to take this, out if they do, and agree to settle, the judgment is without appeal and final. New York Eveniug bun. The people of Portland, Ore., have recently lubsonbed a Bum to import a choice selection of European siuging birds to enliven their gardens and groves. Experux ents are being made on Prussian railroads with axle boxes fitted with boor Ings of vegetable parchment In place of brass. RIDING ON A SHARK. Thrilling Adventure of Prof. Swan on of fteqtifll Point, col. Swimming Teacher hwanson of the Capitol a bath-house at Sequel Point, CoL, treated the reporters there to a thrilling spectacle the other day. Hie feat was nothing less than an exhibition f bare-back riding, the burden bearer being a monster shark, which was captured the same day in the nets of a fisherman and towed Into the slip. Its arrival cre ated great excitement among the visitors at that report. No amount of fissuram e on the part of the proprie tors or the hotels or the fishermen that basking sharks were not man-ea ers, and that manv had been caught with no accident happening, could entirely mnuT, ihfl THH.ru m T.ne itJHis oi tne visitors, and bathing was almost given up. Some ocular demonstration of thfi the fact that a basking shark was harm less therefore became- necessary. Swimming Teacher Nwanson of the Capitola baths, then determined to give an exhibition with the shar which should convince the most timid, A performance followed, the like of wnicn no man ever participated in be fore. Nwanson put on a bathing Buit and Bwam to the wharf where the partially exhausted monster lav. still partly wrapped in the torn aud tangled nsntng nets, slowly approach ing the gasping yet enraged monster, a whale in izv if not. in species, Swan son swam close to his side and then c ambered slowly on top, a moderately easy task to accomplish, as the shark lay almost entirely under water. Sitting astride the huge fish like a fcahy on an de fiant, the bold swimmer shouted in triumphant derision at the several hundred people on the wharf, who had gathered to witness the strange per formance, ' As soon as the shark had realized it had gath red something on bis back it commenced to thrash about and threw Hwanson off. Women in the crowd shrieked in fear and men held their breath in excitement. It was hardly minute, however, before Swan- aon appeared umniured and laughing outside of the line of foam caused by the shark's struggles. The undaunted swimmer again went to the side of the shark aud once more mounted his marine steed. The shark again showed its fear and anger by snaking htm off, but not so vio lently as Iwfore. With great persist ence Hwanson repeated the perform ance till at last the shark became tol erably tame. Daily exhibitions are now given and his sharkship has be came quite a favorite with bathers who delight in wild, reckless riding, bo far no one has ventured a ride out to sea. lbacu aud HI Plars There Is a funny row about Ibsen and his plays in Australia. Jn the be ginning of J une a theatrical matinee was given to raise funds for the Wo- men s College of the University of Syd ney, and the play selected was Ibsen's Dukkehiem." Various dignitaries allowed ttieir names to be printed as patrons ot tne performance, but when the Countess of Jersey, the Governor's lady, was applied to she refused, say me that from what she had heard of Isben she had no wish to see one of his plays, and that it was impossible that an actress who could play in such a piece could be a lady. This was thought to be a cruel and gratuitous insult to miss Acliurcn. who was to play the principal character. Letters have been written to the London news papers remonstrating against Lady jersey a narrowness. The Collapsible Clerk. A little miss from Dearborn avenue en- tered a North Clark street stationery Btore wearing an expression that plainly told that she knew just what she wanted. In truth, she had been repeating the name of the article she had been Bent for from the time she had left her home, and thought she had it pat "tiiveme, said the little miss, "a dime's worth of stub toed pens." And the clerk rolled up bis eyes and flop ped over quite extinct. Chicago Herald. Making a Good luipreulon. "Bobby," cautioned his mother, "the bishop is to dine with us today, and you must be very quiet at the table, I want him to think that you are a good little boy," Very much impressed, Bobby ate his dinner in silence until his plate needed re plenishing. "Pa," he said devoutly, "will you give me some more string beans, for of such is the kingdom of heaven, n The Epoch. A Bard One In Division. "I see," observed Mrs. Snaggs, "that the BUium or j&anzibar leu tweuty-evea wid ows." . "Yes," replied Snaggs, heartlessly, "he ripoaud heavy crop of weeds vary sud denly." 'That wasn't what X was thinking of. What 1 cau't understand Is how all these widows will get their thirds.'1- " Hathwr Too Appropriate A rather tough joke was perpetrated on a bibulous member or the legal fraternity last week, and tho author may as well prepare to ave someway collect ms lire insurance if the victim ever (earns who he is. The law yer had Just recovered from a quiet junket and was surprised a few mornings ago to re ceive at bin oftlce a neat package of black loam on which a card rested. Uu the paste board was the inxcriptiou : , " Real Irish earth. rio" snakes can live near Itr'V The lawyer ays it's too appropriate Buffalo News, PROVED TO Bit, THE IIE8T. 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