; BOYHOOD.
Ah, th how jntyetTy cIoskhI those crowded dart
Thw wimittw patting on by one, like roys
Tlwit fade nV)uasHiiuiwi',H eve,
Huj. oh, what charm or map- numbers'
t'a! yive mo back tlio geutlo tthiniliers
Tliom weary, happy dayt did leaver "
When hy my btxi I saw my mother kneel, (T ,
A:t wit h br blcwiiujf took her night ly kiss; ,
Viutrir time destroys, Iiecanuottlii .
EVu uow that nameless kiss I fool. 1
-.Watthmstoa Allstoo,
MICKEY'S NEW SLED.
Tho icicle which hung from the comer oi
tho liiui shanty was neither so long nor so
s mnwtrical as the icicle which legend says
www me twuer oi uianu a cempie.
Hide down the southerly slope of Btuinpy
eL I
Mrs. Finn arose from her chair and opened
the bedroom door to look at her boy. He lay ,
with his arms thrown over his head. His
cheeks were flushed. He moved uneasily in
his sleep, and turned his freckled face to the
light The freckles were not blemishes in
But, It was as cold. Its presence on the Finn 1 "Show me a weeny wan far fifty cults." at one "m0 enjoyod the reputation ot
thmity proved that the sliantystood in a cold1 "I haven't a real serviceable new tied for being so expert a Jock of all Trades that ho
and exposed place, and that much fuel would fifty rent ma'am, but here is u second hand coula 1,0 anything. Ho has lost that reputa
be iieceasarv- to keep the inmates warm. Dur- one with whole rounds which I can warrant tiounow.aud this resulted from his efforts
nig tbo day's meridian, when the sun shoue to poke anything on the hill." to repair a clock. Ho tolls the story lu this
warm npon the icicle, glistening beads of Mrs. Finn hesitated a moment She 3fi t , Ml ,
water rail down its sides and dropped from wonted to buy ao many tilings tlwt toy You see I bad a friend who was a clock
Its slender point, making a holo in the snow aroud in profusion, that the tied, oven if it nmkev' Bo one day one of our clocks got out
beneath. But when tlio sun went down be- was of surpassing swiftness, did not satisfy ' or,,ur aml 1 tooli " llmv" " nls storo
hind Woolsey'a coinnious aud the trees in her There were so many colored candies in " wlult wna tu0 mattor nitl1 It. anil he said:
Lindsleyls woods were beginning to oast the jars, such quantities of golden oranges., 'Why, It only wants to bo boiled aud baked
black, ' funereal shadows on the snow, the nidi large and fragrant bunches of red ba- 81,(1 " wlU bett" nSht''
water beails hardened as they stole down the mums that she hesitated a long whilo before " We" ho took tlw clock "I"1' tllrew tho
icy siiear, until by those slof accretions the paying over tho lifty cents for tho sled. At work8 inw hoihng watar; then took them
Kicle grew to be long and thick. When the last the borgain was consummated, and Mrs. 00t aml Ful thwu int0 oven dried
twilight bad faded and the nioon came out Finn left tho store dragging the sled behind "sm- Ho next oileil them and put them
upon the night, attended by a winking host her over tho crackliur snow. .Following her into the frame, aud we had no further
ot stars, the icicle glistened but refused to at a distance came Jack Brown. Mrs. Fiun trouble with tho clock. Of course, I got tho
melt as it had done when the sun kissed it passed the lime-kiln whoi-e Tim Grogan was credit for it, and my reputation spread
While the icicle was glinting in tho moon- loveliug coals upon the Hre. Bhe wishod only the further. One duy a neighbor
light Mrs. Finn sat before the fire in the that some of the coals were to her cellar. ceL"al at our hou80 a,ul U1S"' ry
hanty. Her tace was burieil to her hands. Brown followed her as closely as he could valuablo timepiece with him. Itwaaouoof
Her hoy Mickey had gone to bod, with the without incurring the danger of detection, those old fashioned high bronzo clocks. Ho
sursjice from his mother that on tliemor- and saw her enter the door of the thanty. "aid that it would not work, and wonted mo
row he should havea sled upon which to Rm, b,H..tth.ih..t.. minora tomend It I proceeded just as Ihadseen
-w uiuii. iuey were uearay ajso out of patience. He was bruised, too.
apota. Mra, Finn was moved to compassion Uu, Finn produced the little black bottlo
as sbo stood there watching the parted liiis from the closet, which was kept there for
and the gently heaving bosom of her only purely medicinal purposes. Aa this waa a
ton "Shure, God is good t' the poor whin medicinal occasion, a little whisky from the
he gives them b'ys like that," she muttered bottle was poured into the teapot Then the
to herself. .'.kettle, which was breathing out white vapor
Sue had been cross to Mickey during the into the room, was Ufted from the stove, and
day because he hail traded off "fourteen mar- jugt enough water added to the whisky to
veis for a weeny little mud turkleno bigger preserve its integrity and to take the chill
thanaiUverdollai-,"midhadsaid: i fl, lifting the cup from the table, Mrs.
"Sowfwhatuaeiathatmudturkle.Mickey) Finn approached her husband, who was rock
Te can't kiii him an' make soup iv him luce hig back aud forth to evident great pata.
je can wid a snoppin' turkie. Ye might ate Holding the cup under his noes so that tho
th mud turkie av ye were a little Chinee b'y. grateful aroma arose and penetrated to the
I do be hearin' Mrs. Moloney sayto' that th' iumost libera of his being, Mrs. Finn said:
.haythin 'ud ate th' ears iv a jackass if they, "Taste this, that's a dear. Ye needn'tmake
were fried in grass, so I do, glory be to Ood. yer mug at it, for it's the rale ould stuff.
But Miukoy, mind now, if any one tells me vjwas taken from Mike Reagan's own bottle
ye were atin' mud t jrkle mate, stewed or round th' corner. Sure there's more badet
.biled or raw, be the holy poker I'll bate yer 011 jt thou ye could count wid a teliscope."
head agin' th' wall, to I will, an' amall fear I "Aye, but I'm hutted toslde, Biddy,"
' m, jt 'or divarehen." I groaned Mr. Finn.
Here lira. Finn had devoutly crossed her-, "Ah, ye may well be hurted af ther yer fall.
lf and Mickey slyly stole tho wash basin But if ye'll stiffen up in yer chair a bit an'
and placed it aear.the stove with some water et a drap o' this medicine run down yer
and the mud turtle in it. But Mrs. Finn re- t'roat, ye ll be cured before another gripe
pented of her harshness, and her anxiety was gets ye."
now how to get the sled. Mike, her husband, . it may have been the coaxing manner of
bad no work aud there was little money to Mrs. Finn, and it may hove been the smell of
the house. - I the whisky that roused her husband. At any
i At last she hit upon a plan. Bhe would -rate the medicine disappeared. Jit had an
pawn her shawl. To be deprived of this gar- immediate and magical effect. It brought a
ment meant a great deal of self-denial to gush to Mr. Finn's cheek, it loosened his
Mrs. Finu. Witnout it she ould not go to tongue, it cured his interuul injury and corn
mass to themurning. It was a Paisley shawl, forted his wounded spirit There was no toi
covenwithhgureswhichlookedlikegourds. mediate necessityon the part of Mrs. Finn
The colors of the shawl were warm, and f0r taking the medicine, but there was
aeemed of themselves to add warmth to the malaria in tho air of Cooney Island, and so
garment But toe my must jiot ueaisap- she took a drop of the medicine herself asa
pointed, and so the carefully 'folded the preventive. The two eider Finns then re
precious shawl to a piece of paper, and lock-, tired for the night
tog the door behind her stepped out into the i 0n his return to the village Jack Brown
moonlight She shivered as she went along went , the pawnbroker's aud redeemed the
theOldPototroail.forherclothingwasthui. ,hawl. He visited candy store and pur
Uut even as the shivers ran down her back , cta8ed Ave big oranges, seven bananas, two
the smiled at the thought of her boy's happi- j quarB of poojmt one pound of candy, tome
Mickey's mud turtle, with a natural desire '
for more iriwdom, crawled out of the basin
just after Mm Finn had gone, and went
waddliig over the kitchen floor on an ex-
pedttion of discovery. It made very little
none to its passage, yet that little was
enough to attract the attention of the crow
which tat on the mantle. The crow looked
at the little hhiok object paddling over toe
floor. Then he flew down with a soft caw
toenuauielt The turtle crawled and the
crow followed it up closely, putting his head
on one tide and apparently womhring what
it could be. Then the crow put his beak uu-1
uer Hie lurue anu wraeu u, over on n ouca.
1 li U1TUB pui leu Its uetui04iu legs into urn
shell and lay quiet Tbe crow retired to a
little (UUeuce and ttood watching the turtle.
After about live minutes had elapsed the
turtle began to show signs of life again. Its
legs, head and tail came slowly out of the
shell and began to wave m the air m a vague,
uncertain way. The crow stepped gravely
forward, picked the turtle up by the toil aud lookod OTer the footboard of the bod in
flew with it up on the mantle. Again the .stonishment Said she, "I wondher who
shutting up process was gone through with. Bnt all thim illigant thingsf
The crow, however, began to nod before the u T6 are the sinsible woman I take ye t'
turtle deckled to move again, and a short Mr. Finn, as he fished out the new
time af terwarU the crow awoke with a start pj ' tobacco, "ye won't bother yer head
as ne heard the turtle drop off the mantle abet where the bundle camo from. Shure
and into its liasiu, where it was content to Qod is good to th' poor." ,'
remain for the rest of the night in the morning when the Ught began to il-
It happened that Jack Brown, a young hune cney Island, Mickey got out of bed
man who had spent all his money in riotous t wlth palpitating heart to the door,
living, was in the pawnbroker's shop when At tho j5W 0f the tied aud the knick knacks
Mrs. Finn arrived. He had just concluded a he grinIled, and his mouth opened from ear to
little transaction by which he was relieved He tried vainly to tram all the oranges
of his diamond jin and $35 had been placed nd pu,, mto bis pockets at one time, but
to his pocket He was attracted by Mrs. was f0rced to bide some of the peanuts under
Finn's appeai-anoe and stopped to hear her to whero the crow found them an hour
BtorT ' . ... . later and skillfully cracked the thells.
"How much would 1 be gettm- fur to'
sbawir taid she anxiously to the pawn -
broker behind the counter. "It's only a lit-
., ,H i V t Z,7 '
UekaseMike'Ubehavm'a job on th' ice agin
Chuesday. Share me little b'y does be bavin'
his heart fixed far a sled, an' I w,tj no money
:,7 ZT , ir,"Z J.,:,
this toime, an' giV me fur th' shawl till
this da' two weeks."
"N'ein; I gifes you feefty cent fc1 dosnawl
Hebbe you no come back for it, dw I oju
stuck. SeeP
"Bad hick t' ye fur a squozer. My MIko
pl sivin dollars fur that shawl this four
year ago. It's as good today as 'twas whin
Michael brought it home t'ine. But ye ould
lkmiitlint., it yo won't giv' mo any monvgiv1
im to,' tilty cents, tihure it's gebun' late, so
it is, an' th' sthores HI bo shut up intotroly. 1
Bad win' t' ye, ma laddy buck, there'll bo a
toimo afar yo die whin, th' huuKer'll guivt ....
ye an' th' cold'll pinch ye, so 'twill. Uood
night V ye, an' bud scrau t yo fur a ;
smiaaer!11 - . ' '
1 Jack Drown followed Mi's. Finn out upon ,
the sidewalk, lie admired tlio spirit of sett :
sacrifice which animated her and be decided
to see what alio would do with the uionuy, s
Mrs. Finu stopped in front of a toystorcvj
Hho looked in the window and saw nmny me
chouical novelties the possession of which
would have made her boy's heart leap with
Joy. Bub knew, however, that the inonoy
which aho held tightly clasped ia her left
hand would not buy even one of these fas-,
einatinjt article Bhe went into the itoro. I
ur- Brown came up and went in, too. He
heard Mrs. Finn my: "Han- yo any sleds!" 1
"ye, madani. plenty of thorn."
admiring the beauty of tho icicle mellowed
by the moonlight. Then be turned and
walked rapidly back to the village. I
Mrs. Kun found her husband seated to a 1
rockine choir before the Hre and groaning 1
with ln Ha hH fill nnon the road 1
hen coming homo and seemed to be injured
internally. Mr. Finn was out of breath and
brjerwood pipe with a brass cover. He also
wct to a millinery store and bought a gor-
ge0us new bonnet for Mrs. Finn with a flower
garden upon it These articles were placed
jn a big bundle and carried by Brown to the
piemhanty. The bundle was placed under
the big icicle on tho hack stoop. Brown re-
tired to a little distance and began throwing
baiig at the ice spear. It ttood the
o( ,,veral balls, but at last one that
was packed harder than the rest struck the
ana the stalactite fell upon the ttoop,
Kreokine into a thousand different pieces. ,
..j,what'e that, Biddyf asked Mike Finn,
parted up from his bed in alarm.
"It's only the icicle faliin', agra.
Shure
th' wind's blowin' like a harrycaue."
Mr. Finn crawled out of bed, clothed as he
wai to Tery iigilt attiro, and, opening the
door on a crack, looked out upon the ttoop.
He uttered an exclamation of surprise, then
dragged the bundle into the house. Ho spread
th n,rvta out unon the kitchen floor. His
. wben Mr& FlnD vmt mt m doorstep
; to her boy to breakfast, she saw him lying
m the slope
ol Stumpy field hkea meteor. Benina mm
WMllong trail of peanuts, and bounding
, .w elther tide of the track, running a
I rao5wlth the sled were two big golden
1 oranges. A. tear, of joy gathered in Mra.
Finn's eyes she wiped the in with the corner
Of her apron and muttered to herself!
"Musha, luk at that now! Faix. Ood Is
ffoodf th1 poor!" New "York Bug.
giiieooai'iis.
liidy (In furniture store, to new clerk)
Where are those handsome sideboards that
vou had last week!
UierlE (emuurrasHCiij un, 1 -er snaveu
them off day afore yesterday, ma'am, Life.
THE LISTENER.
Aswhcn the skylark mounts an hifrb, ,
And Hoods the nil- with bursts of ouf ,
Bo, in harmontoiw ecstasy
Sweet, intwlo sweep tiiy tiotil alotijr,
A-thrlll, with tearful, love lit eyes;
lleart thollKlits tmultho Tovtli u mUt of sight,
Ami life irrows Ri-ttml. supreme, sublime,
Wheu sound waves dwell tilt straw of time.
Oh: happy soul! wlmse chief di'llght
Is born when music till v the r.lr,
Awl tunw to day the tlafktnt nUht,
With sweet surcease of toll auil cat's.
The melodies of rippUiiK rills. -The
sotted of birdnunsky klwted hills, t
Ami every harmony that swells,
To theo h title of ttlailueas tells.
James Clarence Harvey lu Home Journal
. Kxperletiee M ft Clock Ilepulrer. '
Manager Ebhets, of the Nassau toboggan
mT Mmd 1 took clock tlttrti and
put tho works into a pail of boiling water,
afterword into the oven of tho rouge,
A,ter they were thoroughly dried I oileu
them and put them back into the fiiinio, but
greatly to my astonishment and tlio cuogrtn
' of my parents, who had been lauding mo to
all their friends, the cluck would uot go.1
"What was tho reason!" was asked.
"Well, tbo raaiu spring was broken, "son
tentiously replied Air. Uhbets. New York
Evening Sun,
' Art of Window DreMtnar.
The shop windows have put on their
last persuasive touches as the season
wanes. Tho milliners' windows look like
aviaries in which bonnets and huts arc
perched liko birds of gay plumage. But
nothing is done to attract the feminine
eve more skillfully than that which allures
tfto men. The artistic possibilities of
neckties are shown in many ways. One
enterprising dealer has hung his entire
window in deep indigo neckties splotched
with spots and waving lines. The Illu
sion is of a very decpsea aspect and very
taking. Ou another street red and blue
shirts are made effective by displaying
tuem In lines so that the bars of color
shall tell for all they are worth.
The art of window dressing we have
learned from tlio French. Two things
aro necessary, a sense of color In masses
and by contrast and an appreciation of
the value of forms repeated. These
Americans aro getting, and it marks
progress on the way to becoming an artis
tic people. A glove shop and a place for
women's gear is a case in point. The
window is laid in black. On small raised
stands are long black silk stockings
folded with hanging euds. and on each of
these are perched long, yellow kid gloves
knotted exactly in the same way. Above
these, which suinrost. bv the way, pro-
Rapliaelite flowers in a foreground, aro
black knitted silk vests, hanging like
banuers between the long yellow gloves,
which have the effect of streamers. In
the center of all is another vest, crossed
by a magnificent pair of yellow embroid
ered guitcrs. The window, with its re
iterated yellow and black, miglit serve
lor an Austrian rally flow lorn i-ress.
What They Don't tike. '
Out compact and interesting letter from
the Niantic summer school for teachers
had In It a whole sermon in that one quo
tation from a teacher that "thero w'a'nt
but one way of larnin' young ones any
thing and that was to give 'em what they
didn't like." What a picture It offers of
the way some people regard children, and
the sort of people who sometimes secure
positions as teachers! That the senti
ment as expressed bristles with errors of
grammar does not, 'unfortunately, prove
that a teacher did not utter it verbatim.
But the essence of the whole thing Is in
that notion of "giving 'em what thoy
don't like" as a means or education. It is
the nhilosnnliv of life for some People.
They go about, as a moral and religious
' duty, taking the happiness out of other
peoplo's lives for their good, choosing tho
disagreeable where choice enters, aud
turning to the lull In a crowd because
the others turn to the right. "They give
'em wliat thov don t like, and know it a
the rigit thing because those who got It
"don't like it. it is a nituui way oi
looking at tilings, and It doesn't belong
in the Nineteenth century, hut It is still
to be found and when found It cannot be
cured. Uartford Courant.
What He Was After.
I beard a funny story about William Henry
Hurlburt the other day. It seems he bus
been in tlw country incog. , and someboiry
recognized him down in the park staring up
at the new World fbufldlug with dreamy
amazement, and rushed up to him heartily.
"Hal my dear Hurlburt, glad to see you
back."
The astonished ex-journalist drew himself
ua "Confound It. sir," he said, "I am not
Hurlburt, Mid I am not back, sir."
Then he drew his mantle about mm and
hurried away.
But he was not to escape thus; as he turned
into Chambers street his old friend Simpson
met him. "Why, HurlburtI how do you do?
What are you after uowr .
"After a blasted fool, and I've caught up
with him!" Truth. .
An Cnfortnnat Pause.
Tw half a mind," said Brown, and then he
paused
Ami iiriuiiit-d om dust from off his hat:
"Indeed?" quoth Broimoii with asmlie. "I'd not
Have Uwuglit you had as much as fhat"
Life.
wr tried.
Among the early American settlars there
wos an imprension that the Indiana had no In-
telUgonce or croft In their relations with the
white men. The latter soon found, however,
that this was not the nose. Hume of the
formers attempted to make form servants o
the lutlions, but discovered that they had a
ES!SI2liSS:
nlue. One day a farmer was visited by a Into oblivion during the present rolgn,
stalwart Indlau, who said, "Me wont work." ; wlilnh Iiiih wltneiwml a (frnatw develop
"No,"suid tho former, "voujvlll got tired." niont,ivnd wider generalization of demo
"No,no,"takl the liidloti, "me never t ; or(ltto wntlment than any other hl
farmer, taking his word for It, set tho ' torienl period of like duration ehmn
Inilian to work and went awuy about some leled ill tile annuls of this country,
other business. Toward noon he returned to NowndnyB the iinnox of "esquire" up
the place anil found tho Indian sound asleep ponded to ft man's name on the back of
unuer o bine.
"bstk here look here!" shouted tho farm-
er, shaking the Indian violently: "you told
me that you uover got tired, and yet here
you are stretched out ou the ground."
"Ugh," sold the Indian, rubbing ins eyes
id slowly clambering tti . hi" foet, "If me not
and
lie dowu me got tired like the rest. " Bir-
mingham Post
The Wife lie Wanted.
Bhe I confess, William, that your pro
posal gives me much pleasure It would be
too ish to pretend tha t uoe not, I
He Yet whoel Vi hat possible abjection
can you liave to becoming my wlfol You
know that I love you and oin able to provide
for you
She-Yes; but I fear 1 would be but a
"HeWsoT'
BwKpIng bltterlyi-Becouse I have
never been to a cooking school.
. He Ail the better, dearest; all the better.
Hue-All the better)
He Yea You will stay at home and at
tend to the cooking instead of wanting to go
out and lecture on the culinary art. You
ore just the kind of a wife 1 wunt Boston
Courier,
A New Way.
Singleton (fulling upon his kneel before
the Widow Bjonesl Mrs. BJnnes, do you-
will you can you bring yourself to become
my-
The Widow Uh, Air, blugletoll, tills u
very sudden, but
Singletou (continuing! To be my mothor-ln-lawl
I love your daughter! Lawrence
American.
A Trotted In Three Aflta,
HI. "Help! Murder I I'm poisoned Mun
ey's Weekly.
The Parlor Was KngHtfedi
"Mr. Hunkinson, you will excuse me ff I
receive you In the dining room this evening."
"Don't mention ,tt, Miss Kajones. It is
much more cosey and homelike.
but Brldiet has none into the parlor to take
a nap on the lounge and given orders that
she mutt not tie disturbed." Chicago Trib
une. . ....
Mot ttwuly to Die.
no lees than six people with whom I have been
tulkiug within a week who aro now dead.
Curtlelah I haven't tho least doubt of It.
I'nr sorry I can't stop to listen to you today,
but the fact is I'm not prepared. Boston
Transcript. 1 v : "
The Wise Orammurlan."
Teacher What part of speech Is "butP
Michael "But" ia a conjunction.
Teacher Correct. Now .give roe an ex
ample of Its use. ,
Michael Bee the iroat but the boy. "Hut"
connects the goat and the boy,' 'Harper's
Bazar, . .
:
. , , ' 1
"What's papa's boy going to he wheu be
grows upr . ..... ,
"PoUceman." t -
"And whut'll he do when ho't a great big
policeman?" '
"Club the stuflln' out of papa."'-'
l "A little pepper will do him good."
I 1 !
II. "Bometbiug's going to happen pretty
tooa."
file Title "Knuulre."
TjtUe more tlum a century ago
.... , .tn n jiuiin
Am title of esquire ntlll liad a distinct
niennlug and iuiptirtunct) of Ito own,
wlilali wore clcnrly understood by the
umjorlty of Hiiglisliinoii, simple lis well
Mo jta COMV0ntlotinl iui well lie
lt true utenlllca., m nil but fulton
a letter or a printed subscription lint is
"iy coiiohihu i -",
therefore no longer diminutive M
"somebodies." It is the custom in
. . , ..i i.. l 11 !' ....J u
wrtng ton wealthy tradesman, whether
,mve retjrM, (mm bllsln(!lll, or (,, tc,
an uotor or public singer, playwright or
novelist, ship broker or vestryman, to
address him as esquire.
The title Is applied wltlimit the least
dlnorlnilnutlon to all sort and eondi-
tions of men so long lis they are toler-
" , ' .
ably well off. As fur us Its application
is concerned at the present day, In
ninety-nine caseB out of a hundred it
j lin nnucliroiilsm, or, more properly
speaking, an anomaly. It may lie de-
scribed as a mlieof tlie nge of eliivulry.
grotesquely out ot keeping Wltli uiotl-
em institutions and tendencies, and
preserved no one dxuotly can tell why.
London Telegraph.
Paris Ladles as l'liotoorapliert.
The marriageable young ladies in aristo
cratic French foiulli'W are often nt a lues as
to how they ore to employ tho time between
the tlnul departure from tho convents or the
boarding schools and the arrival of the
bridegroom. Tho bals-hluiies, the daily
rides, wulks and drives In the Bols; the ou-
caslonal visits w Hie ineaire nnu sue oieru,
the courses of wutor color drawing, or tb
matutinal manipulation of thu hiovltubh
piuuo aro not enoiigU to 1LII up the leisure
hours of French young Ituiydoui.
A now pursuit tin acconiingly been de
vised fortuoociiuit.ouof the Buivn moments
of blooming iniudciiH who aro awaiting what
lien Jonson calk tho "Goblin Matrimony."
This in tlio practice of photography, and w
are assured that a photographic uppamtun
is now llttcd u; in the Iraudoir of nearly
every young liuireiw in thu noble faubourg.
Friends, acquaintances, wrvauut and favor
ite dogs are all faithfully photographed, ami
Home of the fair votaries of the art aro said
to be remarkably udroit in using their
cameras, which aro all constructed after the
moot modern plan. Very recently, too, a
young ludy who won married "out" of the
Kaulwurg Kaint-Uermuin received, among
other contributions to her oorltellle do uocee,
or wedding protjeute, a costly mid superb
camera, which would not have been dis
dained by Nadar himself, Homo Juuruul.
Hence the Lady's Clerk.
Tho latest fad I think fud is what thny '
call it is to nave a lady's clurk in the house.
You know that it in 110 uncommon. thing for
ft lady to come to the otllce and settle her
bill now, just tho same as a man. Well, old
cuaps like me are uot considered good
enough to wait on a lady uny mora. Hence
the lady's clerk. We've gut one of tbom.
Just out of college. Wears a collar that
looks like the hind end of an old fashioned
wagon cover; has trousers that are cut on
the same pattern as the hurem Hints in "Tho
Corsair.1' lie bus a sort of lute in tho mm
moroir about him. I mean languid look.
Ho eats up a dollar's worth of toothpicks In
a day, and gets mint from tho barkwir to
wear in tho buttonhole of his coat, I sup
pose it is ull right, but 1 never wanted to lie
a cowboy in my life until he came inhere,
and I think now of going into the businew.
Hotel Clerk in Chicago Mull.
ImpmvedifliiU lu l'assengor Cars
Chief among tho new feutures is promised
a place where thirsty aud bibulous men may
drink unnoticed by fair passengers, Tbifl is
all right as far as masculinity is concerned.
But in this perfecting of the means of
traveling the fuir sex should receive re
membrauce. A car wherein women may
enjoy more privacy In the dressing room
is needed quite as much as a car that
holds the counterpart of a hotel bar room.
Men love to drink unseen of women, no less
than women hope to "tlx up" unseen of tuou
to use brush aud comb in a pluce sacred to
their own sex. The average Bleeping car
holds no such place, and the car perfect in
this respect has not yet appeared. Dressing
at the rate of forty miles an hour possess"
for femininity many euibarrssNinetitM not yet
eliminated by the ingenious designers and
builders of the modem railroad cur, Pitta
burg Bulletin.
LrttcuUetl About Right
Like every otla' community, Wash
ington ban a household of spinster sistertj.
rv. t ........ ,l -..,1 ...
Ugioui women-oil now above the "cor-
tm age, which is so uncertain, and
tney live in a nnu 0111 noiise ot tueirown
in the West Eui. Not long ago tho city
dug a ditch down their street to repuir
the sewer, und oh it wan un unusual event
lttdis "J0- of ourso, telling
about it. "And do you know," one of
them wound up witli unconscious humor,
"they have put a man trap right in front
of our housel" Philadelphia Record
Fitted lor the Place,
"Is there a wheelman in the delegation I"
asked one of the committee.
"Why?" asked another.
"Because if there Is he would be the proper
person to act as spokes-mun." Wheelmeu't
Gazette,
.. ' .
, Btully Kxprsssed,
I She Didn't my head seem heavy on your
tboulder, dearestl
I He Your bead? why no, Indeed! what
question I
Time when harmony was restored, 12:08.
Time.
1 ' '