3: v .l it or the Itoad. i'v i -"i i 1.-.M.-J lnn thu. gulden rod's . ; i -'mivi b-i f "I iMisror In bloom! 'iin-li m instil joliow-, t!,o sumachs are tv.t. v. j 1 I e niiciii? mm overhead. w bat If I !h 3v of the summer Is pnst, U mtiT1 wiiil lurhl Is Mowing liiH blastl ' r me dull Xoveroher l nnwd't than May, lor my I.uv is Us suushlne ishe meets me to hij I V :Il ho comef Wffl tli ringdove return to her nest? ill tho necdlo swing back from the east or the west? At the stroke of the hour eho will be at her B:Hi: A fri?m! may prove Inggard love never otiitiM late. TYi T see her nfar In tho distant-- Not yet. -"-- enrtvl Tnoi-nrlv! She wuld not lomtl "V, hen I cross the olii" bridge where the brook wiit a,sii full in sight at tho turn of tho road. I pass the low vail where the try entwines: I the In-own pathway that loads through tho pines: T Tussle bv the bowlder that ilea in tho field, V hero tier j remise at parting w on lovingly sealed. V i li she eon-.e by the hillside or round through the wood? W i'.l sho wear hcrlrown dress or her mantle or hood? i lie nnmjie cimws m.ir iwr niun iunjr V't wrong: My h- :.rf, will t be asking, What keeps her so long? til-v doubt for moment? More shame If I do 1 VHiy question? Why tremble? Are angels more true? r?:ie wou ld come to the lover who calls her hi own. Though she trod in the track cf a whirling ey- clonel I crossed the old bridge ere the minute had vaod. I looted; lo! my T.ove stood before mo at last, llerejes, iiow they spurklcd, her cheeks how tiiey gloweii. As we met im-e to face Rt the turn of the road) Oliver Wendell Holmes In Atlantic A STRANGE MAKKIAGE. John Collins was out of work. In common with many others, for reasons not neeesarv to euter upon, he had been idlo for some lime, lie was al most out of money 50 cents is not much. But he was not out of hope. lie was so determind to put his shoulder to the wheel that he could not believe that there would not soon be a wheel to shoulder. "Now. on this Saturday afternoon. with evervthinjr at a standstill, he knew that there would be no use in standing before closed doors or of loitering in empty yards; so he made up his mind to have a holiday, and all that sweet, sunny afternoon to pretend to him self that he had nothing to worry about. There was music in the park; there were seats to sit upon. A man could eat 5 cents' worth of soda crackers as well there as elsewhere. In fact, they made quite a neat lunch. On Sunday he would buy a paper, and get every item in the columns headed, -Help Wanted Males" by heart, but this afternoon his pro gramme was the park. Accordingly, be went home, climbed to the top floor of a tenement-house, where he had hired a hail-bedroom of a washerwoman, who did not need all the rooms at her end of the flat, and dressed himself in his Sundar suit. The suit was not a tine one at lest, and it was by no means new, but John was a handsome man, and there is a good deal in that. He blacked his boots, turned his enffs, thanked fortune he still had a clean collar, and sat off park ward he was just in time for the music. The sky was blue, the grass was green, the park was just as much his as it was anybody's, and after the crowd had dispersed and the musicians descended from their pavilion, he be thought him to walk about aw hile. and ook his way toward the reservoir. There waSTriot a souLthure, - and he began to saunter about the brink, eat ing bis crackers, when his attention w as attracted to the singular conduct of a yonng girl, who was creeping along toward toward the reservoir, looking over her shoulder, as though she expected to be followed. Now and then she lifted to her eyes a handkerchief that she hail crushed up in one hand, and it was evident that she was crying. "WThat can she be doing?" John asked himself. In a minute more it Hashed upon him that she intended to drown herself. He was about to spring forward to seize her, when he reflected that until he was sure that she was actually a would-be suicide it would hardly do to lay bands upon her, and so, "con cealing himself as best he could, he waited. . 'And now he observed the girl more closely. She was yonng, she was small, and her features were pretty. She had that peculiar attenuated look that comes to most women with worry and poverty, but her clothes were not ragged, and she had a very respecta ble air. She wore one kid" glove, he noticed. At first she stood behina a stone parapet that guards the edge of the reservoir, crying and looking over. Then she folded her hands, and put her face upon them, and John fancied that she prayed. After this, by dint of scrambling she perched upon the 6tones and sat there. John drew nearer. At last she arose to her feet, and John was there below her, though she did not dream of it. 'Good-by, yon dear, pretty world." he heard her say. "I wonder where I am going to," and she made prepara tions to jump into the water. Instead of accomplishing this, she was lifted landward by two big hands, and as she touched ground she began to sob. "Oh, why couldn't you let me?" she said. "And now you'll put me in prison, I suppose, for "being too unhappy to live." "I'm not a policeman," said John. "Oh, thank goodness!" said the girl. "You'll let me go, then?" "Not yet," said John. "You see, although I'm not a policeman, I'm a man, and that makes it my duty to take care of women folk when they need it. Yon seem to." "You mean to be very kind," said the girl; "but you are not. I suppose you have no idea what it is to be all alone in a big city, without money and without work?" "Oh," said John, "but I have. I haven't had any work for three weeks, that is my cash in hand." And he exhibited his half-dollar. "Oh," she said, with an air of great er confidence. "Well, yes, you do know something about it, only yoa are not a woman.' "No," said John. "Of course that makes it worse for von. But tell me what drove you to that cowardly - act." "It was a very brave act," said the girl. "Not a bit of it," said John. "It's brave to live and light as long as you can that's my idea." "I can't; I've nothing to fight with," said the girl. "Oh, if you knew " "Tell me," said John. "My father died," said the girl. "Mv stepmother hated me. She married again, ana her second turned me out of the house. Pa had left her all his money; I had nothing. 1 came to New York "and got sewing to do. One day the woman that employed nie asked me if I d make her a wall-pocket for her papers. The kind I mean is made out of old steels from extenders. You nit worsted over them, vou know." John did not know, but he looked as ise as possible. " "I was to make it as a favor, not ' ' went on," "and at the sleds were too loiiu.v most of them, and it jjuve h.i on my thumb, leant u-e it jv- sew with, and I can't tlo anything buu sew. That woman know how I cot it. out sue never ouereu to neip me at all. Sho dismissed me nnil took an other girl in my place. Then I couldn't Jay my noaril ami tiiey turned ma out. . went to a Itos pit:.l. The doctor said that mv linger wasn't bad enough to allow them to admit me: he said it would bo all right in a month. Well, I have not even an v where to W to- rjisrht. I shall have to starve or beg T will not beg. Now you see that you had better go aw ay ami let mo liuish what I began." That can't bo done," said John. Every one who knew John called him queer. If acting differently from other people under given circumstances is being queer he certainly was. As he looked down upon this little pale, pretty-, and assuredly innoceut girl, and knew that if e went away and left her she would assuredly lump into the water, his heart softened to ward her as women's do to crying babies. What dear little thing" she was, he thought. What a shame that fate should have used her so. It seemed his duty to take care of her. Oh, hang it, I'll get a job on Mon day," ho said; "and everybody tells me that it is as easv for two to live as one. I'll do it." Then he turned to the girl and said: 'Circumstances alter cases. It's a queer kind of courtship, but I like yow. 1 guess yon could like me if you tried. Will you marry me? I'll get work on Moniiay, I'm sure. I've got half a dollar." Come to the minister with me, and be married, and I'll take care of you after this." What the girl said was "Oh, my! YY hv, I uever heard of such a tiling. What would people say: People will not know it's our own business. I think vou 11 make a good wife." returned John. "You need taking care of the worst way. Think about, it." He left her alone and walked tip and down. Sho looked at him and John was handsome. He looked at her, and thought again that she w!ts the sweet est little thing he had ever seen. He smiled, loo. He weut back and sat down beside her. "Guess we'll sra the minister?" he said. . "Well, you slon't know the least thins about me,'" she said; '"and I can't see how vou can like me enough. "1 don't either," he admitted. "But 1 do like von better than I ever liked any other girl." I feel that way to you," she said. And then they walked to the house of an old minister, who was willing to take his fee iu thanks, and give them his blessinir into the barjraiu. And Johu and Annie were husband and wife. On Monday John Collins went forth to search for work, rather more anxiously than before, and 1 am sorry to say he found none. He remained away all day and re turned home in very low spirits. Annie had prepared supper. She had cooked two red herrings nt Mrs. Roniev's tire, and set the candle-stand with a cloth, on which she had placed two wooden pie-plates ana two tin cups. The bread was sliced nicely, and a '"drawing of tea had been made in a pitcher. The room was tidv, the window shown, and Aunie looked happy. John began to be cheerful again. "To be sure I baye not had luck to day, but it will come to-morrow," he said, as he sat down to supper. Annie looked very pretty on the other side of the tiny table. "If only a man could be -sure of a good living," John thought, he would be much happier married thau single." After tea Annie cleared away the thinks, and John went out on ihe stair case with his pipe while she did so. He believed. that women disliked smoke, but knew that Annie would never ad mit the fact, As he sat there, wondering where he should go to look for w ork uext day, a gentleman came stumblingup the dark stairs. "I am looking for a Mr. John Collins," he said. "That's my name," said John. "You are a married man, sir?" asked the gentleman. "Yes, sir," said John. "I've been married about two davs, if that will do." "Ah you are the right man; and it's your wife I want," said the gentle man. John's heart sunk. "What do you want her for?" he asked, thinking only of misfortune. "To ask a few questions," said the gentleman. "We have very small quarters" said John; "but come in." He pushed open the door of the tiny room, but before hs could speak, Annie ran forward with outstretched hands. "Mr. Cummins!" she cried. "Yes, Mr. Cummings, Annie.' said the gentleman. "I've been looking tor you for six months. I really be gan to believe you dead, when I met an old friend of mine, a clergyman, and happening to speak of my fruitless mission, he told me that he had mar ried a young lady of your name on Saturday night. Farewell is not a common name, though Annie is, and as the Rev. Mr. Darrow had learned your husband's place of residence, I came here to see if the bride were by any chance my lost heiress. I find that she is." "An heiress!" cried Annie. "Yes, my dear," said Mr. Cam. mings. "Your stepmother represented you as having been sent to boarding school, and it was only on taking the property in charge six months ago, that we discovered how you had been used. You should have come at once to your fathers lawyers. The rights of3Tour stepmother in the property ended with her life. And though she gave a good deal of cash to her second husband, you are still very rich, and have only to take possession of your property'in regular form." "It is like a dream," said Aunie. "1 am glad papa did not forget me; that was the worst thought I had to bear." "And I shouldn't wonder if this for tune were acceptable just now," said Mr. Cummings, as he took his leave. But John stood silent after he had gone, and his face was very grave. At last he said: "Well, Annie, are 3-ou sorry that fou married me now? I had no idea was a fortune-hunter." "John," cried Annie, "I should be lying dead if it were not for you. Or, if I had been saved and sent to prison, perhaps Mr. Cummings never would have found me. It all came about be cause you were so generous to poor little me, whom most men would have suspected of being a verj" wicked girl; and all my life I shall spend in trying to repay you. Sorry? Oh, no, Johu. Already, though I have been your wife such a little while, I care a great deal more for you than I could for any fortune. And we shall be so happy on the old place, with plenty to live upon." They were. Family Slory Paper. "Loss of Frait Trees. Fruit raising in California is not all profit. Not less than 10,000 frnit trees were lost t.n a ranch at Woodland last winter, a i ;eee the low estimate of us a loss of $00,000. 5 HUMOR. "II ii Lt U 1.. Nothing fresh cau be expected from a decade census. New Orleans Picay une. Friends eet nlonir better when each la willing to come off a little bit. -El-mira Oazelte. It is no sign because a man is au "old salt" that he wasn't fresh when he was a bor. Lite, ' What Is the end of famP" Well. nowadays, William, It seems to be to write eulogteson soap. Puck. A man asks a woman's love before he marries her; after marriage he de mands her gratitude. Mchison Globe. We may differ la this world, but when we get to the cemetery we are all on a dead level. Indianapolis Jour nal. Wife "Did vou go to prayer-meet ing last night?" Husband "Yes." Wife "How did you come out?" K. 1". Sun. The fisherman is a perpetual Jonah. He is continually encountering whales and getting tho worst of it." Washing ton Post. The office should seek the man; but it must have more than a detective's instiuct to pick him out from the crowd. lttck. A Southern preacher recently ad vised his congregation to be saved in the nick of time from the Nick of eternity. Jester. Visitor "Who is that crazy fool?" Host "He is not a merely eccentric." ehP" Good S'ews. crazy fool. He is Visitor "Kich, A man often finds it difficult to break the ice. but the last summer it didn't take any effort for ice to break a mau. l'onkers Statesman. If a man could live a thousand years he would probablv spend the last fifty fretting over what he might have done in the previous wasted time. fttck. ' "You were dissatisfied with your pastor some months ago?" "Yes." "Has he resigned yet?" "No; but the congregation is." Tenotome' A'etr. A close observation is likely to lead to the conclusion that what the human mind most craves is some slight pre text for going crazy. Washington Post. A Boston child, becoming impatient at its mother's delay iu hearing its evening prayers, exclaimed: 'Dome, mamma, Dod's a-waitin'." Lowell Mail. Amy "You have a good heart. Jack, "but ycu haven't much of a head." Jack "O, you should have seen it when I got up this morning!' A". 1". Herald. Teacher "Now, cau any of the pu pils tell me what is meant bv the nave of the church." Bright Boy "The man who takes up the collection." Intericrt. He is looking at the odd reflection of his face in a glass globe. "Well, any thing more stupid-looking than that I never saw in the course of my life." Fitigende Platter. Whangle "So Peck is dead. Is he? What were the old fellow's last words?" Jangle "He didn't have any. His wife was with him when he died." Boston Traveler. Husband '"Is this canned chicken or canned lobster, Ethel?" Wife "1 don't know, John. The label had been torn off the can before I opened it." Somerville Journal. Some one says that common sense is finer and rarer than genius. This is a mistake. Genius is nothing more thau the apotheosis of common seuse. Baltimore American. O, Johu, I've lost the diamond out of my engagement ring." "'That's all right." so'loug as you didn't lose the ring itself. It's gold, you know." Philadelphia 'limes. "You're vert late in returning from church; von must hsve had a long ser mon:" 'O. yes; Dr Sixthly gave ua a great discourse on "The Evil of Talk ing Too Much.'" Life. Maude "Do you believe that the course of true love never ruus smooth'?" Mabel "H'tii! Well. I don't know. There's a hitch at every marriage, any way." Boston Traveller. A number of New York medical practitioners have organized the "Phy sicians' Medical Club." Each member should compose some fresh air for the sick-room. Philadelphia Ledger. He (looking dreamily into his cup) "what's this a miracle?" She (in dignantly) "Why, no: that's coffee, and good coffee, too!" He "Well, isn't that a miracle?' Pittsburg Chron icle. If a woman was as careful in select ing a husband to match her disposition as she is in selecting a dress to match her complexion there would be fewer unhappv marriages thau there are. Atchison Globe. Mention is made of a London man who won a wager by retaiuing a serious face while a noted wag was tiring a dozen jokes at him. If the jokes were from I'unch the man hail a walkover. Texas Sif lings. He (slightly rude) "I called be cause I thought vou were out." She t sweeny j ; ill I TttJll, UU VOU KltOW thought I was out. too. The maid must have mistaken )'ou for some one else." Harper's Ba:ar. "I thought your doctor told 3-ou 3-ou'd be out iu a week?" said a gen tleman to a friend. "-Ho did. and so I was." "Why, man, you're in bed yet!" "I know it; but I was out $ 75, just the same." Washington Post. Warden "Well, uhat would you like to work at while you are here?" New Arrival "At my old tralTe if you please, sir." Warden "What is that?" New Arrival "I'm an Arctic explorer, sir. Philadelphia Times. Mr. Dashley "Sorry -on could not come to our little 'house-warming' last evening." Mr. Henley Peck "I'm sorry, too. But we had a little house warming ourselves. In fact, the house got too hot to hold me." America, "Can you do something for our church?" asked a Seattle minister of a real-estate man. "Whj yes, of course. I'm a little short of cash just now. but I'll try to take an hour to hear you preach next Sunda3-. Seattle Journal. Parson Prosy (who has brought the architect to see about repairing the church) "There's a good deal of dry rot iu the south gallery, Mr. Gable "Jess so, parson; and there's a good deal also in both nave and pulpit." K. Y. Herald. Mrs. Cumso "Fashions make great changes in our hired girls. I. used to be greatly bothered by my servants borrowing my dresses." Mrs. Banks "and don't'they still trouble 3ou?" Mrs. Cumso "O. no. It is my hus band that is in for it now. They bor row his clothes." Racket. Wife (who is going to the country) "Will vou come to see me next Sun day?" ilusband "Wrhj of course, I'll speed to 3-ou on the wings of love!" Wife "You'll come, then, on the ex press train?" Husband "Oh, no; the slow local will suit me well enough!" Fliegende Blatter. "Why do you always carry two cigar cases?" "Well, 3-ouee, the black one is for those I smoke myself, and in. the red oue I carry those I give to my friends who have forgotten theirs,, and I find that they are not very aot to do that the second time when they are coming to my house." Flic g ends" Blat ter. , Col. Hooks "I hear you have been converted, Uncle 'Hastus?" Uncle Hastus "Yes, Rah; I se done got re ligion, suah." Col. Hooks "No more chicken-stealing, eh?'' Uncle 'Hastus No, indeed, sah!" Col. Hooks A ,wl tirt mnt-A lilnrlnr lwilln!-l'T TTrtplf, 'Bastus "Well, sab, I buys de policy silos: but 1 makes 'em do subleo' ob a wow iui tieat od nra r, Ban. . ...... . .i. I'uck. Women as Kducatom. It is pleasant to see women coming more aud more to the front In educa tional affairs, as teachers, as school committee, as supervisors of schools, and as originators of methods and ad visers In the execution of those meth ods. It is strange that this has not come about earlier; for it would seem as if nature herself had intimated an opinion in this regard, since it Is the mother to whom the first formative processes of the child's mind are in trusted, and whoever gives tho subject any thought will confess that these first processes are tho most important of all. that they are the beginning of development. It is in them that the memory sets about laying in Its stores, that the tendency to good or evil is re ceived, thnt all the growth Is given ils bent, that health of body or of mind U secured or hopelessly impaired. Bacon remarked three centuries since that a gardeuer takes no more pains with the young than with the full-grown plant, and Comenius said that the great boughs which a tree ia to have sprout from its stem in the first years of Its growth. It is evident to all that the mother, the aunt, the sister, the people who are always at home ami at hand, and who make it their business, have tho coutrol of all tho first Impressions of the chilil. That great thinker Frohol declared that the uufoldiitg and feeding of the higher life of emotion waa the most difficult part of the rear ing of children, and that from that springs all that is best in the race; and mat, we au Know, is almost exclusive' ly in the hands of women of mothers aud grandmothers, aunts and elder sisters. If, then, women are the ones to whom, both by nature and the cus toms of society, is given the care of children in the most crucial period of their lives, it certainly follows that thev are capable of taking care of them In periods less vitally important, tosay nothing of the bin ess they acquire through their previous work in training .1. l... ..lUrl .1 .nnl.iu.lU ' during the earliest and confessedly most important periods, ihe thought that says otherwise is hardly to be called thought; it is a habit of prejudice, and ranks with the barbarian wisdom of the Turk, who leaves the boy in the harem during his first seven vears, as years of no account. It is but a few years, comparatively speaking, since women were allowed to lane the worK of the higher education iu hand; but. so far, not only the apparent fact that nature designed them for the work speaks for them, but the vast measure of success that has followed them, aud the reforms that have already been in stituted through their means, in the constant decrease of corporal punish ment, in the gentleness of method in spired by them among teachers, and in the loftiness of aim among students. Uarjnr's Hnxar. AU Watches Com pauses. A few days ago I was standing by an American gentlemen when I expressed a wish to know which point was the north. He at once pulled out his watch, looked at it, aud jwinted to the north. 1 asked him whether he had a compass attached to his watch. "All watches." he replied, "are compasses." Then he explaiued to me how this was. Point the hour hand to the sun and the south is exactly half-way between the hour and the "figure XII. on the watch. For instance supose that it is 4 o'clock. Point the hand indicating 4 to the sou ami II. on the watch is exactly south. Suppose it ia 8 o'clock, point the hand indicating 8 to the sun and the figure X. on the watch is due south. My American friend was q&ite surprised that I did not know this. Thinking that very possibly I was ig norant of a thing that every one else knew, and happening to meet Mr. Stanley I asked that eminent traveler whether he was aware of this simple mode of discovering the points of the compass. He said that he had never heard of it. I presume, therefore, that the world is in the same slate of ig norance. Amalfi is proud of having been the home of the inventor of the compass. I do not know what town boasts of my American friend as a citi zen. London Truth. Price of a Wife. In the Solomon Islands the market quotation on a "good quality" wife is 10,000 cocoanuts. The money of the islanders, says All the Year Pound, consists of strings of shell beads about the size of a shirt button, well made, nnd strung in fathom lengths of two kinds, "red" and "white" moue This is the base of the currency, above which conies dog's teeth, which are the gold of their coiuage. Only two teeth from a dog's jaw are legal tender. A hole is drilled in each, and when a native has accumulated a sufficient number he strings them together and wears them as a collar. Such a collar may be worth as much as 20. Por poises' teeth are one-fifth the value of dogs' teeth, aud ring3 of a marble-like stone are also current coin. The following is the basis of Solo mon Island money aud exchange: Ten cocoanuts, oue string of white money, or one stick of tobacco; ten strings of white mone3 one string of red monev, or one dog's tooth; ten strings red 1001103-, 0110 "isa" or fifty porpoise teeth; ten isas. one good qual ity wife; oue bahika (or marble ring), one human head; one bahika. one very good pig; one bahika, one medium young man. What a Man Rats. I made a calculation the other day of the amount of food an average high liver that is, a man who always has a good appetite and treats himself well would cousumo during a natural lifetime of sixty years. Suppose he eats a pound of beef, muttou or other flesh every day, in a year he will con sume 365 pouuds and in sixty years 21,900 pounds of meat. lie will eat the same weight of vegetables nnd quite as much bread, so here are 43.800 pounds more, lie will drink every day two quarts of coffee, tea, wine, beer or water, making a total of 10, 950 gallons, or about 175 hogsheads of liquid. Tins estimate does not include the probability that he will eat forty or fifty lambs with miut sauce, a couplo of thousand spring chickens, about live hundred pounds of butter and 40, 000 or 50,000 eggs, aud four hogs heads of sugar. If all this supply were piled up on the scales it would 'weigh over forty-five tons, and if stored would fill a cotton warehouse from floor to ceiling. Yet. give a man time and he will eat and drink it all and pay for it. too, and that's how restaurant keepers manase to live.- Exchange. Propriety and Frugality in Dress. A society ha9 been started by woman of high social positiou in New York, it is said, "for the advancement of pro- firiety and frugality in dress." A black ist, made out by the pastor of the church in which the society originated, includes as articles to be avoided the decollete dress and sleeveless bodice, lorgnettes and useless trimmings. "CUMBERS." Th Very t,att Addition to th Tocab- alary of Koelnty. Two fair members of the 400 were overheard discussing the merits of one of their sisters iu society the other day to this ell eet: Yes, dear, she means very well," said the elder one, "but she really doesn't know how. After all, she is a climber, don't you knowP" Yes, thnt is true," assented her companion. "Climber" Is the latest addition to our vocabulary, says the N. Y. Sun. Thus far it has been used only in the upper ranks of swelldom, but with such introduction tt will undoubtedly soon be common property. Elbridgo T. (Jerry the other day gave this ex planation of its origin: 1 here ore in society, lie said, "some newly admitted members who, with the best intentions imaginable, are never able to do things in just the proper style. They are persons of wealth, fairlv good "breeding, and pos sessed of a desire to entertain. 'Ihey try to establish a reputation as hos pitable people, but they really don't know how to entertain. With all the good-humored witticisms that the newspapers indulge in upon this sub ject, it is nevertheless a fact that the art of entertaining requires deep and careful study as well as natural apti tude Some" of the greatest authors have stated this, eveu way back to the early days of Greece. Entertaining is a science pure and si in pie, as my friend McAllister will tell you. "The new name for those unfortun ates who have not learned this, aud still insist in parading their Ignorance. is derived from Sir Walter Raleigh's remark apropos of Queeu Elizabeth. You will remember it: "Fain would I climb, vet fear I to fall.' "A typical member of this class re cently gave a dinner to a number of persons in society. It was a very dull affair. There was prodigality in everything, but no tasto aud uo refine ment. 1 he fellow amused me some time thereafter by telling me that he had no difficulty in getting up a fine dinner. All that heliad to do was to tell his butler and his chef to get up a meal for so many persons, aud he found it unnecessary to bother his head further. There are few persons fortun ate enough to possess chefs and butlers of that kind, and his certainly were not. Of the persons who attended the dinner nine out of ten were displeased 1 - - .. 1 .1 T . nnd will never attend another. It doesn't take long for the thorongh members of society to know whether a host or hostess is qualified to entertain, and the -climbers' always find it diffi cult to secure guests. I think the new title a very lilting one." He Surprised Kliza. John Roberts of North East is a farmer well enough to do. lint he had always been eccentric about his clothes, says a Salamanca letter to the N. Y. Sun. Until a week or so ago he had not been known to buy a new suit of clothes for a year. The ones he wore had been so often patched and re patched that no bit of the original warp and woof was visible. This per sonal slovenliness on the part of her husband was a source of constant an noyance to Mrs. Roberts, who is a woman of exceptional neatness. She long ago became so ashamed of his up pearauee that she would no longer ac company him to town to flu her trad- insr. This singular characteristic of the farmer was not owing lo penurious ness, for he is a liberal man in bis deal ings. A few davs ago he went to town to do a little trading, nnd. to the utter astonishment of the town. he purchased a new suit of clothes for himself. His new clothes were done up in a pack age, and he placed the package on the wagon seat beside him when he started home that night. Farmer Robberts had got half way home when a brilliant idea struck him. He stopped his horse on a brdsre where the road crosses the branch. Ttldoit.bv gum!" he said. 'Til do it and su'prise Eliza!" Thereupon the farmer rose up in the wagon and began to take off the patched and repatched clothes he had worn so long. As he removed a garment he tossed it into the creek until he had tosssed them all in and had nothing on but his shirt. "Great apple sassP he exclaimed, "But won't Eliza be su'prised." Then Farmer Roberts reached for the package that had his new clothes in. It wasn't on the scut. Farmer Roberts got down aud reached under the seat. The package wasn't there. Then he felt all over the bottom of the wngon, The package wasn't anywhere on the bottom. Farmer Roberts rose up in the wagon aud looked back along the pitch-dark road. Then he climbed back in his seat nod away the horses went for home. The night was chillv aud there was three miles to go. When Farmer Roberts reached home and climbed out of bis wagon he paused. "The hull idee didn't work," said he, "but I'll bet 9 that I su'prise Eliza!" That he did no one doubts, but when he got up in the morning and went out to the barn. clad in the hired man's overalls, and saw his package of new clothes hanging by its siring on the brake-handle at the side of the wagon he was a little surprised himself. The Deserted Hast. Ihe other eveu in? 1 came upon a party of gentleman just returned from their summer outings and comparing notns thereupon, says a writer in the N. Y. Star. "I traveled about throusrh eastern Massachusetts a good tleal last sum mer," said ono of them "nnd of nil the forsaken places I ever have visited parts of the old Bay State seemed the most desolate. In certaiu parts of old Plymouth County there are acres of abandoned property once used for farniinsr purposes which are now grown over by forests of stunted pines. witli a thick carpet of brown pine needles stretched under them. In the undulations of this carpet one cau dis tinguish where once were hills of corn Occasionally the ruins of an old house are met with part of the foundation wall, a bit of old chimney standing, seutiuel-like, above them, and some times a well with a broken curb and dark, scum-covered water, visible deep dowu, with pale weeds springing out of it. ilatl 13cen Wasting Time. "I hope, Mary," he said, gently. "the suddenness and intensity of my love will not come upon you like a shock. Fossibly," he continued, and still more gently, and taking her hand with respectful tenderness, "you are not prepared for this avowal. The language of passion may be new to you. Am I the first man, my dear, timid little girl, to address you in this wav?' No, Horace," she replied. "I have never spokeu of my past life because there are portions of it full of pain and sadness. But I was beloved -once by as good a man as the sun ever shone upon. He's dead now, but during the short year of our married life "You are a widow, then. MaryP" "Yes, Horace. I why, Horace, dear!" For the young man had a trained her to his heart with a force that took her breath away. He had been wasting valuable time, adds the Milwaukee Journal in conclusion. RELIC OF A PAST GENERATION- Tha Olclent Inhabitant nfx Rhoda Island M)-i a Cruel It-th. The oldest inhabitant of Rhode Isl nnd. who had been backiug a Into! local history slowly about the woods nnd pastures at Potter's Hill, met death iu a cruel way one afternoon recently. says a Westerly correspondent of the N. Y. Sun. On that day Harvey C. Burdick was swinging a sharp brush knife iu the bushes of wild sprout land, and accidentally hit something hard and something hollow. He had cleft a very big, old fashioned, and handsome box I ut ile, and a shell roof was taken completely off the old fellow's house. Tho shell "was wrinkled, old looking. aud parti-colored. Mr. Burdick ex amined the turtle closely. On the bot tom shell, near nnd below the joint, were tho figures 1776. and right above was the time worn, inscription, J. P. On a lower part of the shell, and still more worn, were repealed the letters. J. P.. and near them the figures, 1806. Mr. Burdick recognized the turtle at oncn, and was sorry he had cut it up, for it was the best-known turtle in Rhode Island. Scores of farmers had met it at different times wandering about the fields of southern Rhode Isl and, and no one tried to harm it. It was known as J. P.'s turtle. Like the wandering Jew it was alwavs moving on, had seen many generations of Rhode Island people pass awav, yet in a hundred years had not seemed to grow very old, and was still vigorous and well. Ihe letters J. v.. on the shell, were the initials of Joseph Potter's name. after whom the hill villago was named. and who was the grandfather of Miss Maria L. Potter of Potter's Hill and Joseph H. Potter of Westerly. Joseph Potter was 17 venrs old. and tho turtle a matured animal when he cut the first figures, 177G. in the turtle's shell, and lie was 47 years old when iiu added the other date, 180G. Joseph was bcrn in li59 nnd died in 182 J. No one at tempts to say just how old the turtle was, but it is quite likely it was pad dling about Rhode ls!aid when King Philip, with his painted Indians in the big swamp nt Hope. R. I., delied-the warriors of Plymouth colony. "If the turtle could have talked said the village antiquarian of Potter's Hill, "what a tale he might have no folded! For interest and imiortance the period of thirty years from 1776 to 1800. and that of eighty-four years. from 180b to IH'JO. have not been par- ailed In the history ot the world." Kitretiiel j Polite Postmen. I do think that Washington post men are the most obliging I have ver met." said a lady the other day. never think about bothering to mail mv own letters, but simply hand them to the carrier when he comes, and he is so amiable as to convey them to the post office for roe and so save me the trouble of dropping them in the box on the next corner, lite other day chanced to be going out for a call. and, meeting the carrier coming up my step, I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten something. 'Oh. Mr. Postman," 1 exclaimed. have left a postal card on my sitting room table which 1 am most anxious to have go off by the earliest possible mail. You will oblige me exceedingly If you will see to its be'mf posted. May I ask you to get it, since 1 am in great haste? You will find it addressed to Mrs. Theophidax Robinson. Be so good as to add -Baltimore, Md.,' to the superscription, which an interruption prevented my completing in pencil, and make sure that it gels off.' Aud do yon know that polite letter carrier said 'lhaiiK you. ma m, ana did just as I told him, even to shut ting the door of the house when he came out, as I requested. 1 know that he put on the address all right, because Mrs. Robiusou told rue subsequently that she received the postal card. "And, to take another instance, when we had another carrier ou our street last winter I met him at the corner one day aud asked him if he had left any mail at my house. "Toothing but a postal card, ma in. he replied, 'from Mrs. Spoopendyke Browne, inviting you to take lunch in formally with her on Monday at 2 o'clock punctually.'" I low Japanese Women Smoke. Railway cars have alwavs been con sidered good places for studying the manners and customs of natives, and Japauesc cars, as may be imagined. are no exceptions to the rule. If some of the Japanese cars have a separate comparttnont for non-smokers this is a mere concession to foreigners, for Jap anese women are almost as mvariably addicted to the use of tobacco as the men, and one of tin; most novel sights to be witnessed iu these ears is that of a woman, young or old, taking a smoke. Japanese pipes, as used bv both men and women, are not as large as a thimble about the size of a Chinese opium pipe, and hold about as much tobacco as makes a pinch of snuff. The woman tills nnd lighis her pipe. takes three or four whiffs, and then knocks the bowl ngainst her wooden shoes or closs, so that the glowiug ashes fall in a lump ou the lloor. Sho immediately refills the pipe, but does not relight it with a match, but tries to pick up the lump of glowing ashes with the bowl, which requires skill and practice. But after a few attempts she generally succeeds, whereupon sue has three or more wlutfs; and tins process is repeated several times before the pipe and poucu are put away to rest ioi an hour. The men smoke iu the same wav, but many of them have lately got iuto the habit of smoking cigarettes and cigars, mostly imitation goods done up under foreign labels, although tiiere is no good reason for thi, as some very good tobacco is raised in Japan. Tokio Letter. , Mischievous Types. If the witty ladv who wrote about 'the total depravity of inanimate things" had been a proofreader she would have said the most depraved of all are the types. Only llio-ie behind the scenes know what unceasing vigi lance is required to prevent them from doing mischief. Some years ago an editor at the south, wishing to congratulate General l illow after his return from Mexico as a battle-scarred veteran, was made by the types to characterize him as a battle-scared veteran." The indignant general, rushing into the editorial sauctum, demauded an explanation, which was given, and a correction promised iu the next day's paper. Judge of the editor s feelings on the morrow, when, as if to heap horrors upon horror's head, he found the gen eral styled in the revised paragraph that bottle-scarred veterau!" Young Folks at Home. A New Playwright. Mrs. Mary E. Bryan, who draws the largest salary of any woman editor in the United States. lias written :i comedi etta in one act, entitled His Society Play." It ia the experience of a New xork playwright with the scenes in the top story of a lodging-house. This iiiaint. nervous little woman is a Georgia product, uuusually gified.with as many whims as a child and a dis position quite us sunny. one is a tremendous worker, writes day aud night, most of the lime sitting on the floor Turk fashion, with her copy-paper on a lap-board, nnd the whole plaee littered with imne.il p.hiiv. pUs SUP UP TRlCAi- EtfC INSTRUMENTS Ustory Bulltfnf 73 HABl!t ST. Sm Frmcitos Bit. JORDAN CO ! Educational Museum of Anatomy Btmaovsd " UXr mv BniKlnK, leal M-kttAKT nun, tot. th and Hh. ft V. EuUtrffet, lvra tboMIKl vt inntrwt!, oISm-W Di.y b Moa. eAllert4 in It-in-i mi eomt of $io,ooo. Thlata ih only Uaav ttila abl ef the aorky Mountain,. KM Italia ff yaara. Uo mni be Uuirfct h wonderful! won ra BM& Slid how tosvold Irk nM. ana dlaaaaa. M. f rinc itr I A "1 gentleman, lieu Ihriwata OfBe, in oaary aT, oppoait un rvjua. CuoeallAUoci free. Sand tot Book. BRO 1 O K l V M MOTEL dm (Under new URnacrmnt.l Htuli Kt.. bet. Monlromfrj at hansomr, . F, Conducted on doiii me European ana tnwrmui plan. This favorlta hotel la nndnr tho -xpcrt- cnrd management of tlMKLtH MONTOtKM- EKT. and in as rood, u not uis twnt. ramuy ana BimtmMMi Men' Hotel In San Francisco. Home com forte, cuisine unexcelled, flrat rlaaa oervlce and the h I ghent standard of renpectbllliy guaran toed. Board nnd room per day $1.-5 to $2. Sin gle rooms 60c to II. t ree coach to and from hotel. PACIFIC COAST. AKIZONA. Diamond Joe Reynclds ia dead. The first verdict iu the cases of BUfTerera by the Walnut Grove dam disaster atrainHt the dam company haa been rendered and is in favor of the company. The storm which passed over Cal ifornia the middle of February trained In volume and when it react ed Arizona eausod the greatest Hoods fever experi enced in the territory. BRITISH COLUMBIA. The Bealinc? schooner Ariel has been wrecked in Pedder bay. NEVADA. Autrustus Malatte was run over by an ore wagon and killed atCandelaria feo. 19. NEW MEXICO. The 7-year-old son of J. O. Kuhus, station agent at Han Marclal, was killed by a train Feb. 18. The assembly has appropriated $25,otK) for an insane asylum at Las Vegas, OBEOOS. Thomas Jeters. a Union Pacific I.M.bi'.miin kif a f M t nuori tuxirtAn hand 1 on the head with a shovel and kliled ui anciiiau 11m a vitm.ov cr vw.a i.w him. Jeters fled. A man named Leopold got lost while huntintr on the Siuslaw river and was discovered and rescued in a famished condition Feb. 15. Emmett Robb. a Union Pacific switchman, was killed at Albina while coupling cars t eb. 17. Miss Ida Simpklns fell Into the river at Grant's Pass Feb. 14 and was drowned. The Australian ballot bill liecame a law. A ostofllee has been established at Woodstock, Muttnoinan county. WASHINGTON. Mr. and Mrs. Barney Brooks have been arrested for drugging a girl named Lody Wirt and abducting her from SpoKane Jt alls to tseattie. Wbst tha Wise Dalrymtua Does. The wise dairyman traineth hi alves, and when they become cows he milketh them without fear. He weareth out his milking bucket by constant use, but never repaireth it because of the kicks of kine. He speaketh gently to his kine, and they regard Uim with favor. ne consulteth their tastes when ever ne can, and they reward mm with rich milk. He poreth over tables of feeding values, and constructeth a ration mixed with common sense. Uis dog barketh at the kine, and, behold, a stone striketh that dog in the fifth rib. He alloweth the cow to eat the placenta, and she dieth not of milk fever. He keepeth a lot of cow medicine on band, and kindly givetn it to nis neighbor, who hath much faith in dosing the cow. He hath secure fastenings on his gates, and the kine enter not the cornfield. He laugheth to scorn the man who endeavoreth to persuade him to grow steers, and after a time attendeth the financial funeral of that man. He saveth all of the manure care fully, but thinketh not that it will be of evenvalue with the feed fed. He breedeth his kine to a bull that hath its name entered in a book, and lo! he flmleth his herd increase in value. He hath a definite object in dairy ing, and he keepeth a certain breed of kine to accomplish it. He washeth his butter while it is in grains, and his customers complain not of having streaks in it. He salteth his butter brine, and putteth the refuse brine on his aspar agus bed. Ho wrappeth his butter in the pa per called parchment, and selleth his old shirts to the rag man. He toueheth not the butter with his naked hands, but handleth it with hands of wood. He whistleth a lively tune while milking and keepeth time by streams of milk. He readeth the papers diligently and storeth in his mind all the good things he finds therein. He trieth new things that he hath read about, and sticketh to those that pan out welL Agricultural Fair Appropriations. The appropriations for the agricul tural fairs amount to $213,000, as against $167,000 in the last appropria tion bill. From 1881 to 1884 the society was given $15,000; in 1885 and 1886, $30,000: in 1887 and 1888, $35,000 ; in 1889 and 1890, $35,000. The various agricultural districts, in their regular numerical order, are allowed the following amounts : San Francisco and Alameda, $7000; San Joaquin and Calaveras, $5000 ; Butte and Colusa, $5000 ; Sonoma and Marin, $CO00; Santa Clara and San Mateo, $G(ktO; Los Angeles, $0000; Monterey, $3500; El Dorado, $4000 ; Del Norte, $4500; Trinity and Siskiyou, $4500; Plumas and Sierra, $4500; Mendocino and Lake, $5000; Sutter, Yuba and Yolo, $6000; Northern Santa Cruz, $4000; Tulare and Kern, $5000; San Luis Obispo, $4500; Nevada, $4000; Alpine, Mono and Inyo, $6000 ; Santa Barbara, $5000 ; Placer, $4500 ; Fresno, $5000; San Diego, $4000; Contra Costa, $3000; Southern Santa Cruz, $3000; Napa, $5000 ; Sacramento and Amador, $6000 ; Shasta, $4000 : San Bernardino, $4500; Tuolumne, $3000; Tehama, $4000 ; Ventura, $4000 ; Orange, $3500 ; ban Benito, $3000 ; Modoc and Lassen, $4500; Merced and Mariposa, $5000 ; Siolano, $3500; Stanislaus, $3500. Poison n a Pipe.- Few smokers fullj realize the dan ger of smoking new or improperly cured obacco. The medical staff of the German army discoyered this was a fruitful source of throat disease. The subsistence department of the U. S. Army hare adopted Seal ol North Carolina Ping Cnt as the Stand ard Smoking Tobacco for the army. Beware of Imitations. The genuine "Seal ot North Carolina" costs yon no more than poisonous imitations. PACIFIC STATES T ype'FoundrY And Printers Warehouse, 4O0-U 'Washington St, Opposite Post Office, The favorite Printer- Supply Hons of the Pacific Coast, prompt. Square and Pro firesmre. Stock complete, representing the latest and best of the Bastern Market. Type and Role all on the Point System. No obso lete styles. PACTPtC CO ACT AGENTS FOB Conner's U. S. Type Foundry, New York. Barnhart's G. W. Type Ponn'dry. Chicago. Benton, Waldo & Co s Self-Spacing Type. Babcock Cylinders, -oit-s Armory imp' a universal, Chandler and Price Gordon Presses Peerless Presses and Cutters, Economic Paper Cutters, . ounons- t aaes and - omitare, Golding' Presses and Toots, Sedffwick Paner loeym. Keystone Quoins, rage's wood Type, Inks and Rollers, Tablet Composition, Etc. FCBUSHBKS or ' NEW8PAPERS ON THE HOME PLAN. Complete Outfits and the Smallest Orders meet with the same careful and prompt attention. Specimen books mailed on appli cation. Address all orders to HAWKS & SHATTUCK, Sas Francisco. 409 Washinjrton St.. TREE TBL Powdered 93 1-100 Clastic Soda. Pure Canstle Soda. Commercial Potash, etc SHEEP WASH. Calverfa CarbolJe. Tor sale by T. W. Jack son k Co Sole Agents. 104 Market St., Saa Fran claoa. . B00OEEFI5G, SHOETHAXP.TLLEGEAPO ENGLISH BRANCHES, LIFE SCHOLARSHIPS, - S75 Ho vacations. Dsy ana Evening Sssmona. LADIES ADM ITT RD ISTO ALL DEPARTMENTS. Tor farther parUeulra address T. A. ROBINSON. M. JL Is scale injuring year trees and disfigur ing year f rait; Is the mildew tires. tenia)? your grapes sod noes: Ia tie curb-leaf matin? yoar trees weak ieaflessi Are yonr Pears and Apples w crmy and tid- erons to stz nt; Are the blossoms dropping and trees losin; weir irmtj Then use for the destitution and prevention that wash whieh esva be a effectively applied la s am mer as in winter. THE L X. L. COMPOUND. CIS CAUFORXLA ST, . BOOK S, SAS FAAVCiaOO. MONEY: Can be made easy by rateing Chickens- Our large Si-page HI ni trated Catalogue tells all about Incubators. Brooders what to lead chickens, in tact all all tha secrets of tha chicken business. It yon only keep half a dosen bena you need this book. It gives mora Information than many of the books sold at 3S cents We send It free on re ceipt of cents to pay postage. PET ALU MA INCUBATOR Petal nra a. CO., BAD, BUT TRUE! We are overstocked with some things. Wa offer German Knitting Tarn In blue i shades?, brown (3 shades), white, clonded or mixed yams, beautiful goods but not very saleable; real warm and good to wear, at 15 cents; worth Sl.aa this year anywhere, saxony in bine, pint, red. garnet, 85 cents or 10 cents a bank. Biggest variety of Tarns on the Coast. Ask for full list. Wool Huts and O lores, children's 10c to 35e; ladles' loc to 25c; men a asc to soe; Leather Gloves tor boys 26c, S&c, Sue; for men 40c, Sue, SSc 75c ; Back Mitts, extra quality 7&e; Blanket Mitts, Olovea and Gauntlets, SL0O grade at COc Bargains in Underwear; one lot men's brown wool Mixed worth Sl.W at 40e; else as to 44 In shirts, and 96 to 42 In drawers; other grades at 45c. SOc, 75c. S1.0O, S1.25. $1.50; Ladles' and Chil dren's Underwear from 10c n p ;one lot of Ctrey Wool Underwear for big fellows, slaea 44 to SO at Sl.50 each, all wool medium weight. We offer by odds the best value ot any store on the Coast In Shoes, Stockings, Dry Goods, Notions, Provts- - Ions, Groceries, Grain. Heals, Feed, Housekeep ing Articles, Dry Fruit, all Cash Down. Ho Losses, No Credit, No Interest to Pay. Send for our full list of S,000 articles at wholesale to con sumers, and learn how to save from S3S to (40 on every $100 you spend in the year ld. Ad- aress Kmitn-s ajasn store, Ba, la Mtmt t, S. F, t's.1. A LARGE ASSORTMENT OF HALLET Davis Company. W. W."Kmbsll Cnmnanv and Francis Bacon Pianos, and the celebrated ' Kimball organs of Chica go. W. G. BADGES, 1J& Market St., History buildiar, ground floor. A FISE-TONED UPWRIGHT PIANO IN PER- -4 - lect order: Wood worth a AUovan. makers $100. W. G. BADGER, 735 Market st. ANP, INVOICE OF FOUR GRAND UPRIGHT pianos from the factory of Henrv F. Miller. Boston; posiUvely new; will be sokt far below cost to close Invoices. W. G. BADGER, 116 Mar ket street. A CHECKERING A SON'S PIANO BADGER S, 715 Market St. AT W. G. A STTINWAY & SON'8 PIANO AT W. G. BAD- u a ) . GER'S, 725 Market St. A DECKER BROTHERS' PIANO AT W. G. BAD- . GER'S 745 Market St. A DUNHAM ft SON'S PIANO AT W. G. BAD- .a. i . GER'S, 7 JS Market St. BLAKE, MOFFTTT & TOWHE, IMPOBTISS AND DZALKKS HI BOOK, NEWS, WRITING AND WRAPPING P A P E E S Card Stock, Straw and Binders' Board. Patent Machine-mad Bags. 513 to BIS Sacramento BL, IA R. HALL'S Pulmonary Balsam. A Superior Remedy for All Throat and Lang Troubles, TaS' Asm ma, voag as. Colds, Croup, Whooping- ConghX influenza, croncnitia. Loss of Yoice, Hoarseness And Incipient Consumption, Readily yield to its Healing Power. PRICE 50 CENTS. J. R. GATES & CO 417 flsaarsnt Street. Eaa f Prop'rs. WClwMk, . r. ' a w-)l.