i'R-t 1 11T0.
,ot8ta!k
I. !
ir Sr
.? at K-ve w-re ij!'5.
V
!
- 1 !r Vl-C. ! t!
3v huntei
A titl, oh. iu
v4 a 1 we f
ij PAT"
S 1)"
use tut tnu-trte rnji;
em ft W-anteous thing,
.I'ltiii'tolstiirl .
i
i !-iti t a w'llar !i if p'; smell,
It i. ;!! nre '.d swwts
at dusk
Arm In fcrirv ry rock ana sla.io,
f. l.I:t' tle hcJirt vst;-;!!, "All is well I"
V re-ine ta fs-.r.'t t'ntVwe was brief
; s..-i '! -nr ol a nt'iti-tiri- d.iy
v .. c urr iV.y.i.H.-d sn.l died away
. t. e U.c led eoir on a Seat f
! -rtr o the fault that alt that llarao
I ii.i-. A s a I rs i'u and ccawd to be?
i'.f'i 3 of ft Irui;' hiiye were we;
V . -!Uy of pily more tr.an blame.
y jriii ley s-'ist
fcii ; ti. lu,l fen si's withered phi me,
t j4 ! t last it. ttiromr'.i the eohoinvr gloom
Ij i-urpm frizes laiscd with dust,
Lr t w!otT wp the desolate sisles,
nd n.ite their stones his w lnnowinjf fioor.
jS si v. l..t the irroeu spring' come once more
v A ud t nt if. with Immortal smiles!
IXtra Read Uole. In Harper's Weekly.
. BESSIE'S LO VEIL
You want to hear how I came by
these scars on ray face and hands?"
" said the man, rolling tip his sleeve and
showing the bare, sinewy arms,
warked and seared as with a red-hot
i"on. "Twenty years ago I first met
Bessie Morton. She was going across
the clover field yonder, taking her
father his dinner. "He was a miner in
the works of the great Bergen Coal
Company, and Bessie was all the kia
be had.
At that time I was young and
handsome, and had just been installed
foreman of the blast furnace of the
'- Bergen Iron Company. -
I stepped aside to let Bessie pass,
and lifted my hat as I did so. She
smiled the faintest shadow of a smile,
but it made me happy all day. Ton
know how it is, if you have ever been
in love.
"Then I did not even know her
eame, but I lost my heart to her acl
never got it back agrain. Afterward I
learned who she was, with the disa
greeable fact that Mark Gaillaird ad
mired her. Gaillaird was one of the
- members of the coal company a mil
lionaire middle-aged, handsome and
unprincipled.
"It made mv Wood boil to hear him
soeak of Bessie in that cool, supercil-
ions way of his, in which he spoke of
everv woman.
And the scoundrel lit his choice
Havana and strolled off to what he
called his work, which was sitting in a
luxurious office sisrnms checks and
reading French novels.
"I had been some two months ac---qnainted
with Bessie, when one day I
y told her that I loved her, aitd won her
sweet consent to become mine. And,
truth to tell, I did not feel quite sure
of my Bessie until I had 9 legal right
to her. Not that I doubted her, but in
a sort of indefinite way I feared Gail-
laird.
"bo you can understand that I was
anxious to make-her my wife and have
her under my own protection as soon
as passible.
"One morning, eight or ten days be
fore the time set for our marriage.
Gaillaird came to the works, and, un
der pretense of looking at the working
of the furnaces, he got speech with j
me, for generally I avoided him.
-" "Look here, Gilbert,' he said, 4s j
this bosh that I heaf about you marry- j
Sng Bessie Morton true?'
"I answered him coollv:
l."Yes, sir; I am to marry her.'
"He put his face elose to mine, so
' close that I felt his hot breath like the j
blast of an oven on my eheek. ; : j
"'I love her mvself, '"he said hoarsely. '
r34?stJLj',ong'lt onlv to amuse my- i
pelf, as 1 Lad'dwue witfi a score of silly ;
girls before her, but since I have come ;
to know her roj-al nature, to know
what a very queen she is among
women, I have decided to make her
Try wife.-" Now listen to my proposi
Kesign Bessie Morton and yon
shall have Hamburg's place at $5,000
a "year the best ofliee in the gift of
,the company, and with that you can
take your pick from the youth and
beauty of Bergen. Refuse these terms
and I swear to be your utter ruin. I
have warned you. I give you three
days to decide.' "
"I told Bessie something of this
- making very light of it as I saw how
pale and frightened she was, but she
clung to me and wept, and begged me
not to trust myself alone with Gail
laird. - -
I promised to keep clear of him, to
iisfv her, though troth to tell I did
not feel any fear of him. for I judged
him to be a coward, and hardly be
lieved he had courage enough to lay
violent hand3 on any one.
Three days after my interview
with Gaillaird I was going my rounds
as usual to see after the furnaces. It
was after dark, btit I carried no lan
ternthe light of the molten metal
made objects sufficiently visible for my
purpose. Have you ever examined
" "one of these blast furnaces? They
were vast piles of masonry hollow
like a barrel with a capacity of seven
tons of ore. Some of these were twen
ty or thirty feet deep and four or five
feet in diameter.
"The furnace was full of ore to
within five or six feet of the top, and
the intense heat from below was stead-
-Jly rising, until before my eyes I saw
the grayish yellow mass grow lnrid
ted and knew it was fusing.
"As 1 stood I heard a step at my
side. Some subtle-presence told me
that I sbonld see Gaillaird when I
looked up. He was standing close be
side me. The sullen red light of the
metal played over his face", and showed
me the cruel eyes and white teeth
. gleaming savagely under the dark
mustache. He took, a step forward
'and looked rato the seething crater at
my feet, then lifted his eyes to my face.
Well,' said be. do you accept my
offer and give up Besie?'
. '"Never,' said I. I would rather
see her dead, well as I love her, before
i I would yield her to a fiend in human
" guise.'
i '"Then feel my vengeance f he cried,
. fiercely, and hurled at me a blow,
which, off my guard as I was, sent me
down, down into the mouth of the hor
- rible pit I had been regarding with
- such feelings of strange fascination!
m "In the brief seconds of time before
I touched the red-hot iron I realized
my position fully. I knew that as the
ore melted it would sink down, down,
down and I along with it, until at
last! Oh, heaven! I closed my eyes
at the terrible picture and was hope
less! Only a second the excruciating
pains which filled me at the touch of
that fiery beat nerved me to super-
" human strength. Bounding upward I.
seized upon a staple set in the sute ox
the furnace to fasten a lid to, and ex
. erting all my power I swung myself
upward to the platform, the flesh drop
' ping from my feet as I did so.
"Gaillaird" fell upon me like a de
flon, and I, burned and bleeding and
-. :alf dead as I was, closed with him
ad fought for my life!
- "It was a sharp and frenzied strug
?. He had the strength of a mad
1 in those delicate arms of his, and
it seemed as if I had the power
men. One last desperate
myself from him and
- ' r 'backward. Ah! even now I
.emouiac face as he went down.
til" furnace shouting out
-fng curse! In a mo
J. I rushed forward
ave him, but, greal
.ed into the lierj
jjv.tve I x.uv i!:it ihoi ove w as :iU fused
aud had sunk tully ten feet. And do
not ask mo to speak of what I saw
elruggling; in the billows of liquid lire!
i wasuwna tuc-ro ivmm insensible
on the brink of the furnace an hour
afterward by one of the workmen, and
for niontns succeeding I lay on a bed
of sickness and delirium. Bessie nursed
me through it, and when I was able to
sit up we were married.
"i left my business at the furnace
forever the sight of the place filled
me with horror. Did they ever find
nv trace of Uaillaird? Bless you,
only a few fragments of bone, crum
bled to white ashes bv the heat, were
among the coutants of the blast when
the furnace was drawn next morn
insr." A Doctor Without a Diploma.
I have said that there was no regu
lar physician in California. Later, in
1813, m a company that came from
Oregon, was one Joe Meeks, a noted
character in the Kocky Mountains. On
the way he said, "Boys, when I get
down to California among the Greasers
I am going to palm myself off as a
doctor;1' and from that time they dub
bed him Dr. Meeks. He could neither
read nor write. As soon as the Cali
fornians heard of his arrival at Mon
terey they began to come to him with
their different ailments. His first pro
fessional service was to a boy who had
a toe cut off. Meeks, happening to be
near, stuck the toe on. bin ling it in a
poultice of mud, and it grew on again.
The new governor. Micheltorena, em
ployed him as surgeon. Meeks had a
wav of looking and acting very wise,
and of being reticent when people
talked about things which he did not
understand. One day he went into a
little shop kept by a man known as
Dr. Stokes, who had been a kind of
hospital steward on board ship, and
who had brought ashore one of those
little medicine chests that were usually
taken to sea, with apothecary scales,
and a pamphlet giving a short synopsis
of diseases and a table of weights and
medicines, so that almost anybody
could administer relief to sick sailors.
Meeks went to him and said, "Doctor,
I want you to put me up some pow
ders." So Stokes went behind his
table and got out his scales and medi
cines, and asked, "What kind of pow
ders?" "Just common powders-
patient not very sick. "If you will
tell me what kind of powders. Dr.
Meeks " "Oil. just common powders."
That is all he would say. Dr. Stokes
told about town that Meeks knew noth
ing abont medicine, but people thought
that perhaps Meeks had given the pre
scription in Latin and that Dr. Stokes
could not read it. But Sleeks s reign
was to have an end. An American
man-of-war Came into the harbor.
Thomas O. Larkin was then the United
States consul at Monterey, and the
commander and all his officers went
up to Larkin's store, among them the
surgeon, who was introduced to Dr.
Meeks. The conversation turning up
on the diseases incident to the coun
try, Meeks became reticent, saying
merely that he was going out of prac
tice and intended to leave the country,
because he could not get medicines.
The surareon expressed much svmpathy
and said, "Dr. Meeks. if you will make
me out a list I will very cheerfully
divide with you such medicine as I can
spare." . M"eeks did not know the
names of three kinds of medicine, and
tried evasion, but the surgeon cornered
him and put the question so direct that
he had to answer. He asked him what
medicine he needed most. Finally
Meeks said he wanted some "draps."
and that was all that could be got out
of him. When the story came out his
career as a doctor was at an end, and
he soon after left the country. Gen
eral Bidwell, in Century.
EVEN WITH THE BACC FAMILY.
Site Knew Their Record and Didn't Hesi
tate to Tell lb
"Now. madam,'" said the attorney
for the defendant to a little, wiry, black
eyed, fidgety woman who had been
summoned as a witness in a breach of
the peace case, "you will please give
your testimony in as few words as
possible. You know the defendant?"
Know who?"
"The defendant Mr. Joshua Bagg?"
"Josh Bagg! I gness I do know
him, and I knowed his daddy afore
him, and I don't know nothing to the
credit of either of 'em and I don't
think'"
"We don't want to know what you
think, madam. Please say 'yes' or no'
to my question."
"What question." -
-Do you know Mr. Joshua Bagg?"
"Don't I know 'iro, though? Well,
I should smile! You ask Josh Bagg if
he knows me. Ask him if he knows
anything 'bout tryin' to cheat a pore
widder like me out of a two-year old
steer. Ask him if "
"Madam, I "
"Ask him whose land he got his cord
wood off of last spriug, ana why he
hauled it in the night. Ask his "wife,
Betsey Bagg, if she knows anything
about slippin in a neighbor's paster
lot and milking three cows on the sly.
Ask ''
"See here, madam "
"Ask Josh Bagg about that uncle of
his that died in a penitentiary oat
West. Ask him about let tin' his pore
ole mother die in the porehouse. Ask
Betsey Bagg about putting a big brick
into a lot of butter she sola last fall "
"Madam, I tell you "
"See if Josh Bagg knows anything
abont feeding ten head of cattle all the
Bait they would eat. and then letting
them swill down all the water they
could hold just 'fore he driv them into
town, and sold 'em. See what he's got
to say to that!"
That has nothing to do with the cas.
1 want you to "
"Then there was old Azrael Bagg,
own uncle to Josh, got rid of his native
town on a rail 'tween two da vs. and
Betsey Bagg's own brother got Icetched
in a neigh bor's hen-house at midnight.
Ask Josh "
"Madam, what do j-ou know about
this case?"
I don"t know the first livin' thing
'bont it, but I'll bet Josh Bagg is guilty,
whatever it is. The fact is. I've owed
them Baggses a grudge for the last
fifteen years and I got myself called
up as a witness ou purpose to git even
with 'em, and I feel that I've done it.
Good-by." Detroit Free Press.
Tattooing a. Fair Ankle.
A handsome daughter of a family
living in the vicinity of Ohio avenue
left home some months ago, ostensibly
on a visit to friends m a distant State.
Her stay was protracted, and in her
letters home she described the good
time she was having in the society of
her lady friends. She returned re
cently and the secret of her escapades
would probably never have been di
vulged had not an accident revealed it.
On the second day after her arrival
her mother had occasion to enter the
young lady's room while she was still
asleep. Tlie fond mother's eye rested
with a loving glance on her sleeping
child. Suddenly she uttered a scream,
and before the fair sleeper was fully
conscious, clutched the girl's foot and
fixed her gaze on the well-turned
ankle. She almost fell into a faint,
for on that shapely member th9 girl's
initials were tattooed in bright red
India ink. It is believed that a plausi
ble explanation was given, but the
secret lies between mother and
daughter and the artist in that distant
State. .. .
WIT AND HUMOlt.
The seemv side of life is the outside.
The seamy side is the inside. Dallas
If vou want a man's caudld opinion
of you make him angry and you'll get
tt. Aicntson uiooe.
A man never srives fortune any credit
for his suceess, but he always blames
her for his laituies. vouon iraveuer.
Those ready-made clothes of yours
seem to bristle with indignation."
"Yes they are eager for the fray."
Fuck. ...
I feel like a lighting Koch." re
marked the gratified physician when
the Emperor decorated him. WasA
ington Star.
The people who don't like us don't
know us. Those who don't like our
neighbors know them too well.
Atchison Globe.
Patient "Cau I see Dr. Curem?"
Servant "The doctor is smoking an
imported cigar, sir, and cannot be dis
turbed." Judge.
Women may indeed have a sphere
that is boundless, but she has to stop
when she comes to a barbed-wire fence.
Barn's Horn. .
You hear of all the people who made j
a great man what he is; what becomes
of those who help to make the failures?
Atchison Globe.
As soon as people begin to fancy they
have claims ou you because of favors
you have already granted it is time to
move. Milwaukee Journal.
A poet says that a baby Is "a new
wave on the ocean of life." It strikes
us that "a fresh squall" would express
the idea better. Boston Gazette.
Watts "How is old man Giltillan?
Is he out of danger yet?" Doctor Bow
less I don't . know. He died this
morning." Indianapolis Journal.
Bagley "What is the meaning of
this expression, "Chateaux cn Es
pagne'?'" Higley "O. that means
tinplate factories." Binghamton Lead
er. Whoa a big man in a little town
moves to a larger town he is putting
himself in a position to learn bis first
big lesson in humiliation. Atchison
Globe.
"That is a wise proverb, said Mr.
Hicks. "What is it?" queried Mrs. II.
"The girl who goes to too many hops
is apt to find au early bier." JT. JT.
Herald.
"One thing, Mrs. Bellows, I know
myself," said Bellows. "Thai's the
trouble with you, Mr. Bellows, you
know too many low people." X 11
Herald.
A correspondent wants to know if
"fits are hereditary." Any small boy
compelled to wear out his father old
clothes could tell him they are not.
Indianapolis Journal.
Brown "Fenderson is a very enter
taining fellow; don't you think so?"
Fogg "Yes. but the deuce of it is you
can t begin to laugh until after he has
gone." Boston Transcript.
The man who never made a mistake
is a son of the woman who never
gossiped and of ihe man who never
had "the best cure for rheumatism you
ever saw." Boston Traveller.
Fond Mother "I hardly know what
to do 'bout Eddie; he's so backward
'bout learning to read." Caller
"Teach him Hebrew; that reads back
ward." Harper's Young People.
"I'm feeling very ill again, doctor.
Do you think l am going to die?" "My
dear madam, compose yourself. That
is the last thing in the world that is
goiog to happen to you." Life.
Watts "Potts shaves here some
times, doesn't he?' Barber "Yes;
Mr. Potts is one of my regular clients."
Potts '-Clients? Don't you mean
patients?" Indianapolis Journal.
"Humph! sneered the ass as he en
countered the zebra. "You look like
an escaped convict." "Possibly." re
torted the zebra. "But no one ever
takes me for an ass." X. Y. Sun.
"Do you think that marriage Is s
failure?" said the reflective young
woman to a man of business. "Not
necessarily it's what kept Smithers
from bankruptcy." Washington Post.
The man who "never can find time"
to do anything you ask him may gen
erally be seen looking out at the window
wheu there is a brass band going
through the street. Somerville Journal.
"I came here," said the youth to the
Boston girl, "for a little rest and peace
of mind." Ah!" she said. "You ap
pear to have the piece of mind; when
do you expect to get the rest?" A. Jr".
Sun.
"Yes," said Gus de Jay, "I have had
some verwy twying expewiences. I
was stwuck senseless once." "And
when," inquired Miss Pepperton. arch
ly, "do you expect to recover?"
Washington Post.
That's a Congressman-at-Large,"
said Glim, indicatiug a man to his
cousin from the country. "O, I ain't
afraid," replied young Meddergass.
"I've only got 17 cents about my
clothes." AT. Y. Sun.
By ri son (to the editor of the Boom
town Banner) "That was a pretty
story about the cvclone. I don't know
how you managed to swallow it."
Editor "Well, you know, I have
patent insides." West Shore.
Mr. Schnorer "I feel very much
out of sorts this morning, my sleep
was very much broken last night."
Mr. Nextroom "Yes, I heard it.
Makes a funny noise when it breaks,
don't it? Just like the snort of a buzz
saw." Boston Courier.
Do you find enough to keep you
busy these days, Jim P" "You bet I
am putting in a bigger day's work
these days than I ever did" before."
"Why, I thought you'd given up your
job." "So I did. I'm looking for au
other." Baffalo Express.
Anxious Mother "I am afraid
Johnny is sick." Father "My good
ness! What does he complain of?"
Anxious Mother "He hasn't begun to
complain yet, but I forgot to lock the
jam-closet to-day and there isn't a bit
missing." N. Y. Weekly.
She "What an uncongenial com
pany it must have been." He "No.
They all had something in common to
talk about." She "What could it
have been?" He "Their host's genius
for bringing the wrong people to
gether." Munsey's Weekly.
Maria," 6aid Scribbleton, as he
awoke in the midJlo of the night, "do
you hear the mouse rattling the paper
in the waste basket?" "Yes; is there
anything that you wrote in it?" "Yes."
"Well, I'm going to get up and. rescue
the mouse." Washington Post.
Dapper "What is the greatest lie.
Snapper, that ever impressed itself on
your experience?" Snapper "Well,
by all odds, the worst lie I ever heard
was the one your quartet perpetuated
last night when they came around to
the house and sang 'There's Music in
the Air.'" Boston Courier.
Wilson "I despise a hypocrite.
Tomson "So do I." "Now. lake
Jackson for example; he's the biggest
hypocrite on earth. I despise that
man." "But you appear to be his best
friend." "O, yes; I try to appear
friendly toward him. It pays better
in the end." Brooklyn Life.
First Tramp "Where did you get
that fine overcoat?" Second Tramp
"In the big house at the com' " "I
went there only d is mornin'-. " . .."i V
wid cold, an' they wouldn't give me a
rag." "I didn't ask fer clothos fer
rueself. I told 'em it was fer th' poor
heatheu In Central Africa." Epoch,
, A follower of the profession of jest
ing, having taken occasion to speak of
the vein of humor, was asked "by his
flippant vis-a-vis: "In what part of
body does the vein of hnmor lie?"
Without a moment's hesitation he re
plied: "It starts from the funny-bone,
skirts the humerus, and discharges in
the just." Harper'' a Magazine.
STORIES OF BERNHARDT.
The Wonderrul Woman Who I ''Fin 4a
Steele" In Everything-.
Bernhardt's little scheme for apply
ing a live snake to her bared breast in
the death scene of "Cleopatra," excites
a laugh in thdcity which has become
quite used to being freshly fooled by
her on the production of each fresh
play. When Bernhardt puts her genius
at the service of her charlatanry the
result is such glorious and unique
humbugging as only the boulevards
could appreciate, but which they love
her for. Parislaus will not soon for
get how Bernhardt advertised one
piece by going to a horse fair, buying
two splendid horses for her son, re
turning to Paris after midnight and
stabliug the animals, for lack of other
accommodations, in her magnificently
fitted studio. Next morning all Paris
was agog.
How'could you allow such wanton
destruction?"
"Ah." said the Bernhardt, her eyes
alight with maternal -devotion, "how
could I deny Maurice anything?"
Nor has Paris yet done talking- of
how she posed as an angel at Maurice's
wedding, a ray of light sifted through
stained glass falling softly on her up
lifted face as sho knelt at the altar
wrapped in religious ecstasy. This
was almost as good an advertisement
as the news which not so very long
ago startled all France Bernhardt had
become insane. No, said monsieurs,
the journalists and dramatic critics,
jou have deceived us too often; this
time we positively refuse to Ufclieve
one syllable. M. , of Figaro, was
especially firm in his position. By the
great gods he had sworn, and he would
stand by his oath, that Bernhardt's
name should never again appear in
type which he controlled. But private
information came to him from sources
deemed incorruptible, and be was
brought to call on Bernhardt to see
with his own eyes. In her boudoir,
with lights turned down, she kept him
waiting, and then bounced into the
apartment like one of her own tiger
cats and leaned against the mantel,
hair dishevelled, face haggard, feat
ures blank and unintelligent, fingers
trembling. Her complexion was
ghastlv, her eyes wandering. Not a
word did she auswer to his questions,
but mumbled to herself in undertones.
After a little she dropped to the fioor
and lay staring into the tire, babbling.
M. was convinced. Next day he
came out with a lamentation; a great
light had gone out; Bernhardt had had
ner faults, out it wouia be long ere
they looked on her like again.
This was the momeut for which
Bernhardt had been waiting. In two
hours a cam from her was In every
newspaper office in the cilv. She was
not insane; she could not imagine how
such a canard started; her head had
never been clearer, as she hoped to
convince the public by her production
of , in which she should open
the week following.
But none of her recent performances
have equalled a somewhat earlier
achievement- There are gossips who
still langh as they remember how,
after htr marriage with Daruals. the
rumor got about Paris that, owing to
domestic duties, Bernhardt would be
unable to finish her season. Fashion
writers who visited Worth discovered
that in good truth Bernhardt had or
dered a complete outfit of new stage
dresses designed with the view of hid
ing her figure. It became the fashion
to go and see 'the actress in those
gowns. Bets were up as to how many
more nights she would play, when sud
denly, without warning, as the inter
est reached its climax, the special
wardrobe was thrown aside. Bernhardt
laughed and Paris laughed with her as
it saw how well it had been fooled.
There is only one Bernhardt. She is
unique, unapproachable. But with
all her quackery Paris remembers to
her credit that she sincerely loved
Damala. She pulled him out of the
gutter, and, in spite of much, at the
end she mourned him. Paris Letter to
Savannah A'ews.
Dance of The Devil.
A fantastic orgy was witnessed at the
town of Loongi, the capital of Bullom,
west coast of Africa, by a party of
officers from the West India regiment
quartered at Sierra Leone. The peo
ple of Loongi are Mohammedans, but
the dancingdevil himself is a relic of
not long departed paganism, and so
also probably is the dance itself. It
takes place in the courtyard of the
chiefs premises, which" is entered
through a circular hut. The scene
which presents itself to any one com
ing suddenly out of the darkness into
the noise and glare is decidedly uncan
ny. la the center of a circle which fills
the courtyard the devil, with an
orthodox tail, a great crocodile's head,
and long grass, looking like hair, de
pending from his body and legs, and
swaying as he moves," leaps, beating
time with his feet to the beat of the
drums, while the women, two deep,
wail a chant and strike their palms to
gether in Blow, rhythmical measure,
those in the front row bowingdown be
tween each beat.
The young men, in long robes and
caps, wail with the woroen.N Both are
under vows, the dance being one nt
their rites. They look dazed to liegiu
with, but gradually work themselves
into a frenzy, and the black faces, the
monotonous wailing cry, the thrum
ming of the drums, the rattle of the
clackcrs and the beat of the devil's
feet as he springs up, crouches down
and swings about, make a scene to
shock the quiet moou and stars and
gladden Gehenna.
North of Sierra Leone, Africa, is
Mohammedan, South Pagan i.nd the
Southern people have this devil. When
peace is declared between two native
tribes the peace devil, who is fetish,
comes leaping into the town, but if he
stuaibles or falls it is considered a bad
omen and be is put to death for his
pains. '' His dress is sacred, but his
person is of no cousequt'tice.
Seeing the Empress of Japan.
"When her Majesty shall pass along
no one must look at her from th frame
built on houses for the drying of
domes, or tnrougu cracks in doors, or
from any position in the upper portion
of their "houses. If auy body wishes to
see her Majesty he or she must sit
down at the side of the road by which
her Majesty will pass. No one must
look at her Majesty without taking off
his hat, neckcloth or turban, or what
ever else he may be wearing on or
about his head. Moreover, no one must
be smoking while he or she is looking
at her Majesty, nor must any one carry
a stick or cane, unly women wearing
foreign clothes will be permitted to re
tain their head covering. Although it
may rain, no person will b allowed to
put up an umbrella while her Majesty
may be passing. As her Majesty passes
no one must raise his voice, nor must
any sound be heard." Japan Letter.
HOWSER'S UYMNA1SUJU.
HE WAS AFTER MUSCLE AND HE
COT A TASTE OF THE CLUB.
Die Uead of Title Unhappy Family Get,
Hit Pretty Hard, and Ilia Better
Hair Report'! Profraat.
A large bundle, tied with ropes,
came up to the house the other even
ing, and I had not had time to pry in
to the contents wheu Mr. Bowser came
in. I waited until after supper and
then asked:
"Have you got a new hobby, Mr.
Bowser?""
"Did you ever know me to have a
hobbv, new or old?"
"You are regarded as a man of hob
bies." "I am. eh? Then it is by a few
Idiots! No man in the country is more
clear of hobbies. I am often told that
I am too practical."
"Well, what was in that bundle?"
t'A doctor's prescription health
muscle longevity. In other words I
don't propose to pay any inore doctor's
"Why, you have wonderfully good
health, Mr. Bowser.
"And I propose to keep it. I haven't
been exercising enough. I have
brought home a small outfit."
"1 thiuk it is f oolish and useless.
You are strong and healthy and you
can make no change for the better. '
There you go! Always opposing
everything I do! I wouldn't have
your spirit for a boat-load of gold."
Well, don't blame me, as usual."
Blame you? As usual? Whoever
blamed you? I should be sorry to sus
pect you of being light-head, but you
are acting very queer, Mrs. Bowser."
No more was said, and he got out
the tools and lugged his bundle up
stairs and began littiug up a gym
nasium. Ia about an hour he called
me up. Uu had two weights at the
end of" two cords runniug over a
pulley, and as hu worked one and then
the other he said:
"This exeirise streigthens the arms,
shoulders and chesL I feel like a new
man already. See those clubs?" .
Yes."
"Well, these are Indian clubs. They
are more particularly for the arms.
They are worked thus and thus
and"
He was swinging them over his
head, and one fell upon his bald pate
and he sank down as limp as a bag.
I tore off his collar, aud ran and got
water, and by aud be sat up and ask
ed: "What was I doing?" .
"Exercising with the clubs. I knew
you'd do it."
"And when my back was turned you
bit me on the top of the head with a
hammer!"
"Of course not- How can von be so
foolish?"
He maintained an attitude of se
verity toward me for atxmt an hour,
and then slipped back up up stairs to
practice with the dutnb-lells. I slip
ped op after him. pretending to hunt
for an old coat, ami pretty soon I ask
ed him what particular beuefit he ex
pected to derive from the use of the
bells.
"Develop the arms and chest, of
course." be replied.
"Buyou weigh WO pounds now."
"That's nothing to do with being
strong. It's muscle I'm after."
-What for?" -
"For fiftv reasons. Suppose I should
be attai-ked bv a loafer?"
"Yea."
Suppose I grab a burglar here in
the house?''
"Yes."
"Suppose a footpad should try to
hold me up?"
"What would you do?"'
"Do? Do? Watch me?"
He began making very vigorous mo
tions with a ten-pound ball, and a
catastrophe followed. He hit the wall
with it, let go his bold, and it fell up
on bis foot. Then he yelled. And
whooped. And howled. And hob
bled about, and . said he'd get even
with me if it took a thousand years.
"Are you blaming me, Mr. Bowsetf
I asked, as I found a chance to get in
a word.
Of course you're to blameP
"What did I do?"
"No matter! I expected it from the
first, but it's a long road which has no
tarn. Mrs. Bowser! You just wait!"
I got him down stairs and rubbed his
foot with arnica, and after two or three
days it was all right again. I think he
enjoved being asked why he limped,
and 1 think he told all inquirers that
he had just put up a lifty-pouud bell
when the roof of the house gave way
and a' portion of the chimney fell up
on his foot. I heard him hammering
away up stairs again, and 1 went up to
ask liiiu what h3"was doing.
"Arranging the bar," he replied..
"What for?" . '
"To exercise on. v-
Why, Mr. Bowser, you are not gor
ing Into practice again, are you?"
"Certaiuly. I nm not to be dis
mayed by "two or three slight acci
dents." .
"I wish you would let it alone.
You are clumsy and awkwurd, and
you will hurt jourself severely before
jou knew it."
'Are j-ou talking to me?"
Of course."
"Clumsy and awkward, ehP That's
all right! Just what I might expect
from you! That's reason, however,
why I should persist in this."
"Well, if you get hurt again don't
blame me."
"Humph! Get out of the way."
"What nre you going to do?""
"Practice on the bar. Look out for
my legs!"
1 thiol, be tried to catch one of his
feet ou Ihe bar, or to let go and swing
with one hand. At anv rate lie sud
denly descended to the" floor with an
awful crash, jarring the centerpiece
loose in the next room below, and
bringing up the cook to inquire:
"Is he dead this time ma'am? If so.
Jet me congratulate j ou."
He wasn t dead, but he had bruised
his hips and shoulders and lamed his
back. It took me a full hour to get
him to bed, and he bad nothing to
say until I had telephoned for a doctor.
Then he suddenly observed:
"I suppose you have already destroy
ed the evidence of your guilt""
"What do you mean?"
"The ropes suspending the bar.
Some one cut one of them while I
was performing."
"And you lay it to me?"
"I have nothing to say aot just
now. If alive to-morrow we will eud
this state of n (lairs in as satisfactory a
way as possible. In order to shield
you as long as possible I shall tell the
doctor I fell dowu stairs. Detroit Fret
Press.
California's Vineyard Possibilities.
California contains 156,000 square
miles, and, if she had 1,000 more
square mites, three states like New
York and three more like Connecticut
could be laid ou ber surface. One
third of ber areti is adapted to grape
culture, which' gives her vineyard
possibilities as great as France would
have if she were all vfnevard. The
wine production of France ia 1,400.000,-
000 gallons while California has only
attained a result of 22,000,000 gal'-
NEVER WITHOUT HIS CUN.
A Western Driver Got a Chill When Ha
Dlxcnrrred ft Lorn.
"That reminds me," said the colonel
blandly, lie is always being "re
minded." They were talking of man's
dependence upon things which he Is
accustomed to use. "That reminds
mo of Jack Smilcr. Jack was as brava
as a lion. He drove one of the fast
freight specials from Cheyenne to
Deatlwood. It was iu the first days of
the Black Hills excitement, when they
ran light express wagons out to Chey
enne on a gallop and never stopped
till they pulled up in Dcadwood or un
til the road agents stopped them.
"Jack was born with one emotion
lucking. He was not afraid of the
wildest Indian (and there were enough
of them in those days, lust before the
Custer massacre), or the most daring
and reckless road agent. J hey did
not call them highwaymen then. He
used to climb into his seat, crack his
long whip, and, with a wonderful oath,
jerk the bends of those mules in the
direction of Dcadwood, and send them
scurrying along like frightened rab
bits, lie always wore a revolver, of
course, tlio handle forward in bis belt.
where his hand might touch it at a
moment's notice. I do not believe
that the road agent lived who could
have stopped Jack Smiler.
. "I rode up with him on one of his
trips to a ranch about thirty-live miles
from Cheyenne. I got tired of the
seat and climbed back into the box to
stand there to rest riy legs. I con
ceived the idea of picking Jack's
pocket that is, of getting his revolver
away from him. I was pretty careful
to press one hand heavily upou his
'ihoulder while with the other I slipped
the weapon from his belt. Finally I
got it out safely and waited for him to
discover the loss.
"We drove along for five or six
miles, when suddenly Jack pulled up
his mules with a terrible oath.
"Whoaf he cried.
"What's the trouble. Jack?1 1 asked.
"He turned to me and looked into
my eves. He. was as white as a sheet.
"VVe are going straight back to
Cheyenne.' he said.
"What's the trouble?' I repeated.
"Trouble!' be ejaculated, and a
cloud of sulphur arose over us. his elo
quence was so emphatic. Trouble?
I've lost my six-shooter.and I wouldn't
drive another foot for flO.000.
"Oh, pshaw. Jack.' I said, 'who
knows you haven't a six-shooter? Why
don't you go right on, as if you had
one?
"Jack's teeth chattered at the Tery
thought. I never saw a brave man so
terribly frightened.
"Not if my name is Jack Smiler,
he said. "Gracious! he added ('grac
ious stands for a string of words too
long for a novice to mention in one
evening), "suppose I hadn't discovered
this. Wouldn't I have been in a pretty
fix?' He made a very wry face.
"Here's your old six-shooter. Jack.
I said, handing it to him. I wouldn't
have iL It isn't worth keeping.
'"Go 'lang there!' Shouted Jack,
curling his whip lash beautifully and
bringing the end of it to a sudden stop
with a loud crack. Go 'lang there!'
and we were rolling over the road
again.
"I can't go anywhere without that,
he said, touching the butt of it lightlv.
The last I saw of him he was snapping
his long lash and wia-lling cneerfuily.
With the revolver he went anywhere;
without it nowhere.
HOW MINERS RESPECT WOMEN.
Chivalry at a rrrmlam In Camp When
Wives or Mothers Are Tkrn.
Mr. W. C. Tonkin, of Silver City.
W. M., a mining expert an t engineer,
is at the Midland. Mr. Tonkin has
spent a number of years in the West
ern wilds and has met the American
miner in almost all of his many phases.
in tne course ol a conversation with a
group of friends recently the question
of the inborn gallantry of the Ameri
can citizen to the lair sex became the
topic under discussion.
One gentleman remarked that a lady
could travel all over the United States
alone ana suner no inconvenience or
annoyance, so loag as her conduct did
not render her liable to the approaches
of the masher, lie mentioned the plav
of "The Danites," where a group of
miners are waiting the arrival of the
new school teacher on the stage. They
have bricks, broomsticks, baskets, tin
cans and other "weepins" to make life
pleasant for bim. The coach drives
up and a neat, trim youns lady srets
down. The miners drop their weapons
sneepisiuy. sinooin itieir neaas ana,
taking in their uncouth appearance.
sneak awav.
"That reminds me," remarked Mr.
Tonkin, 'of an instance in a mining
camp tbat illustrates the veneration
with which these rough men regard
woman, a lew months alter my mar
riage I was sent through Lincoln
County, N. M-, to survey some mineral
lands for a railroad company. My wiie
wanted to go with me. It was a camp-
out expedition and a case of Toughing
it' and no mistake. I finally consent
ed to her going with me, and we set
out with an ambulance, cooking out
fit, &c, across the plains, 150 miles
from any railroad and into the heart of
the wilderness.
"One day a terrific rain set in and
continued all night. In the storm
lost my bearings and wandered about
until 8 o clock at night, when I saw
a light. I drove towards it and came
up to a small miners cabin. I got
down, knocked at the door and was
admitted.. 1 stated my case and asked
for shelter.
'"Come right in, stranger, and wel
come,' was my answer.
"I glanced around the one room and
saw four roughly dressed miners. The
room had no Uoor. and only an open
fireplace, over which their frugal meals
ere cooked. A few necessary articles
completed the entiro furniture of the
cabin. 'My wife is with me, I said,
'aud is out iu the wagon now.' 'Here,
boys, bundle out o this aud help the
stranger in with his things. . Be lively,
now,' said the spokesman, pulling off
his hut and squariug thins about.
"They he I pud us in with our goods.
got a roaring fire to going and then
forming in line near the leader, said:
'Yer kindly welcome, mum. We ain't
got much to offer, but yer can take the
ranch. Me an' my mates 11 git and
roost outside. Jess make yerself to
home an' don't mind us.
"They were standing uncovered all
tnts time ana when the speech was
ended filed out of their cabin and
stayed out all night iu the rain, in
spite of the earnest protests of my wife
ana myseii. liiose great big-hearted,
rough men vacated their home for s
lady and would not let us remunerate
them in any way. 'Wo don't see no
wiuimen folks in- these diggins' the
leader said au' we feels proud to
know yer been here. What we done
ain't nolhin' to talk about and we'd
lick a mean skunk which wouldn't do
likewise for a lady." Kansas Cilv
Star.
Carious Professions.
Among curious Parisian professions
are artificial ear and nose makers,
prayer-makers, leg-stretchers, salad
mixe'fsf. kuockers-up and fourteenth
men. The latter, class are much in
demand in Paris, to; meet the awk
wardness of having thirteen quests to
dinner, on which point thej Parisians
are very superstitious; thef fourteenth
man is" always ready to iattend at a
monies -ttce.
ALLISON, MM & CO-
55 AND 57 FIBST ST.
Road-carts, Buggies, jprin- Wag
ons, aiowers, umaers, Feed
Cutters, rumps, Etc
WE CARRY A LARGE TARIETI
Bnfrcte. Carrlairmi and Sort na- ITipui
uanniaeiorea EirsiswLi ir
the Paelfle Coaxt Trad
Write for Special Catalogue.
We hare made arrangements to
handle the
lied Flows.'
and will dispose of oar stock of
GALE PLOWS
at reduced pricer.
t will Fij jit to Write to FHICES!
ALLISON, NEFF Si CO,
55 k 57 FIRST ST., SAS FRAXCISCO.
TREE WASH.
Powdered 93 1-100 Caustic 8oda:
Pore Cstnstle Soda, Commercial Potash, etc
SHEEP WASH.
Calvert's Carbolic. For sale by T. W. Jack
son Co., Sole Asents, 10 Market St.. 8u Fran
Cisco.
BLAKE, M0FFTTT & TOWNE,
nrxOBTEBS AXS DKILZXS IS
BOOK, MEWS, WRITING AND WRAP PI HQ
P .A. 3? 12 H S
Card Stock, Straw and Binders Board.
Patent Machine-made Baca.
BIS to BIS Sacramento 8t El9 FXAHtSSOQ.
Poison in a Pipe.
Few smokers folly realize the dan
ger of smoking new or improperly
cured obacco. The medical staff of
the German array discovered this was
a fruitful source of throat disease.
The subsistence department of ihe
U. S. Army hare adopted Seal oi
North Carolina Ping Cut as the Stand
ard iSmoking Tobacco for the army.
Beware of Imitations. The genuine
"Seal ot North Carolina" costs you no
more than poisonous imitations.
BOOKKEEPER. SHOKTHASD.TLLEGRAPB
ENGLISH BRANCHES.
LIFE SCHOLARSHIPS, - S75
Ho Vacation. Day and Evening Sessions.
LADIES ADMITTED INTO ALL DEPABTSIZSTS.
For farther paracalrrs address
T. A. ROBUraON. M. A, Fmideab
NEWS FOR FISHERMEN.
A Clever Contrivance to Beg-nlle the In-
oeent Minnow lata Actios; as Bait.
Many a time what promised to be a
fine day's fishing has been spoiled by a
long and tedious hunt for the proper
kind o bait with which to angle. A.
pair of boot-heels sticking up through
the grass by the side of a brook, and
one long, rumbling growl of profanity
issuing seemingly from nnder the,,
earth, is a familiar indication to a
large number of people who have
"been there" themselves that some
ardent and irritable fisherman is lying
there on his face, trying to keep ont of
sight of the timid minnows he wants
to scoop up out of the stream at one
dash, and then be off. But the little
minnows are in no hurry. They dart
away at the sight of bis unfamiliar
scoop net, and lie under the farther
bank wriggling their little tails tantal
izihgly. Now the fisherman wishes
he had taken time by the forelock and
secures) bis bait on the day before he
was to start on bis expedition, . He
reviles his procrastination as the min
utes slip by. and the hot sun beats on
his back, and he resolves, never to do
it again. But this does not mollify the
minnows in the least, and the scene
generally ends by the angler going off
furious with only a few miserable lit
tle fellows in his can.
An ingenious inventor has oome to
the relief of fishermen lately, by pro
ducing a minnow trap that Is hard to
beat. . First of all it is wholly com
posed of transparent, colorless glass,
and is in shape much like a big cart
ridge, with a pointed bullet in it It
is about two and one-half feet long,
and as big around as a man's leg
above the knee. It is hollow, of
coarse, and what would be the fiat end
of the cartridge is punched in. like the
bottom of a glass bottle and there is a
small round hole in the apex of the
oone thus made. The other and the
pointed end of the trap is fitted with a
little sliding door. This big glass
cartridge is intended to be set on its
sido in the bottom of a brook where
minnows abound. The cautions ones
soon become accustomed to it, and the
reckless fellows don't see it till they
bump their noses against it. Some
nice bait is put inside the trap, and
the minnows soon find their way into
it, through the hole In the punched-in
end. The little door at the other end
is shut, of course. -
The miunows are unable - to find
their way out, because thev follow the
sides of the trap and this' leads them
into the culde-sac at the flat end, all
arouud the bottom of the cone. They
are easily poured out, however, with
the water in the trap, by holding the
thing up. pointed end down, and open
ing the little slide-door. Wire is
twisted around the outside of the trap,
and forms a handle by which it is con
veniently carried, and the wire also
protects'the glass from injury.
Currency in China.
The Chinese are to have a currency.
On the seacoasf where they have had
to deal with foreigners they have used
Mexican dollars and small Japanese
coins. In Ahe interior bars of silver
were the medinm.pf exchange. When
a purchase was '-made it was paid for
with a sliceHtrthe metal cut off with a
' , . i .I.- . i
nammer arau CH-eji -a-u wis iu emu
The sroverSraenbt-iias ordered that the
silver must beJfcoi ed and used in that
i formonlv ,n:vv Eve re penalties
SAX FBAKCISCO. CA1.
" x
Bit. JORDAN stt CO'f
Educational Muse em of AnatPTy
Hmof4 tetfcveir wr Bailing Laei
iUJOLm fcrt-KMcr, bt. f h una ::h. 8 F.
ofegeeta mm? be a-eeo. eoilertssd In Sujx-x at
a cost ef (MtMMfL TUi ia jfce m.y M
tHim sda of th BiVfcy timliit ltt&l
HbK! X3 jrMar. Go 4 ba tavcsiit bo
woaderfoCy jsw sr mv. c4 avov to arm-
siefcaaaw d aeatva. fir &-
ev WWJMei , via v .
I. X. L COMPOUND
CABSIZB TBX
HIGHEST ENDORSEMENT .
AS TBX
Cheapest, Most Effective and Handiest
SPRAY
For the Destruction of all Scale Insects, Hatha
and Mlklcws affecting
Fruit Trees and Vines.
Bend for Circular.
tlSCAUFORXUST, - - . - ROOM S,
aur nsAxcsioo. -
If you snsrect Kidney Trouble, don't a!tl
bat send stamp to Dr. t. Abb ut, 921 Fust street.
San Francisco, for analysts of kidney secretion.
BAD, BUT TRUE!
We are overstocked Mt&'sdhie thlnzs. Wa
offer German Knitting Tarn tn bine (4 snades.
orown snaaesj, vaue, ctoaaea or mixea yarn-!, -beeatirol
roods bat not very saleable: real
warm and food to wear, at T5 cents: worth S1.3S
this year anywhere. Saxony to bine, pink, red.
garnet, ss cents or 18 cents a hank. Biggest
variety ot Tarns on the Coast. Ask for fuU ist
Wool Mitts and Gloves, children's luc to c;
ladles 15c to 25c: men's 25c to 50c: Lesth-r
Gloves for boys 25c, SSc, Sue ; for men Jc, fwc, 65c
iac; isock aim, extra quality 7oc; Blanket
Mitts, eioves SPd Gauntlets, tl.09 rrade at Me.
Bargains in Underwear ; one lot men's brown
Wool Mixed worth tlM at Oc: siae 36 to 44 la
shirts, and 38 to 4i In drawers; otoer grades at
c aoc, 1 3C, si.w. si.au; uaies and vuik
dren's Underwear trom 10c up; one lot of Grey
Wool rnderwear for big fellows, elies 4 to 69 at
tl.SO each, all wool medlnm wetgtit. We offer by
odds the best value of any store on the Coast In
Shoes, Stockings, Dry Goods. Notions. Provis
ions. Groceries, Grain. Meals, Feed. Housekeep
ing Articles, Dry J'ralt. all Cash Down. Ko
Losses. So Credit. So Interest to Pay. Send for
our fuU list ot 8.0GG articles at wholesale to con
sumers, and learn how to save from tis to 40
on every SM you spend In the year 11. Ad
dress BnuiB-s uua suni o. is r ront tou,
S. F Cat. ....
FATS WATEBr-PKO OF
MANILLA .V HOOFING,
fcidiag, Ceilings Sheating, See.
tTftMl AVtArtjSlVM'hr AM rTmtaM "atpmMftAMtaM Wamasm
tor Ulustrated Catalogue xh! Samples.
J. F- WYMAN,
General A rent tivr Pi-aMA rvs&a
SO MARKET ST SAlff S'&ASCXAa
DAAIPm w- A. .
TypefoundrY
And Pridiers1 Warehouse,
408-11 Washington St, Opposite Pest OSes,
Tin" f.vnrit. P,i.,..' G.i . r - . .
i sMteBTl--':
Pafcfic Coast. Prompt, T&qnare -'and Pro
pessire. Stock complete, represent ins the '
latest end hest of the Easter. Market. Type If
and Rule all on tlio Porat Svsteim No obso-
lete-styies. , - . .
. v... :r J -
. rAcjpic coist accart.iot r
Conner's U. S. Type FoonJl-r.'-KeW York.
Famhart's O. W. Type PomdrT. Chi -a iro.
Itcnton, Wahio & Co's Self-Spacing Type.
Babcock Cylinders, -
o.t Armory Im-.Vl Universal,
Chandler and ITice Gordon Presses
Peerless Presses and Cnttm
Economic Paper Cotters,
oinioBs- cases ana fornitJre,
, GoWing's Ptmsbi and Tools.
Cui I, I .
Keystone O-oins. " ",J"
.-age-a wood Tvpe,
Inks and Rollers,
Tablet Composition. Etc.
rTBIJSHEBSOF
NEWSPAPERS-' ON THE HOME PLAN.
Complete Outfits and the -Smallest Orders
vert with the same careful and prompt
attention. ' Specimen books' mailed on appli
cation. . Address all orders to-
HAWKS & SHATTUOK,
09 Washington St.. San Francisco.
R. HALL'S
Pulmonary Balsam.
A Superior Bemedy for All
Throat and Lung Trouhles,
Asthma, Coughs, Colds,
Croup, Whooping Conga,
Influenza, Bronchitis, ..
Loss of Toice, Hoarseness
And Incipient Consumption,
Readily yield to its Healing Power.
PKICE 50 CZSTS.
J. R. GATES & CO., PrcpYs.
" 417 Sansoms Street. Sam FrajKHMa,
f
I
I
f