DR. C. H, DUCKETT, f E K N T-1 ST.. Oi i ick: Between G. T. Cotton and I Peterson & "Wallace. ' j Lebanon, . . Oregon. 1 J. K. WEATHERFORD, j Attorney -at -Law. ; 1 Office over First National Bank, ALBANY, - - OREGON. J. M. KEEXE, D. D. S. Dental -:- Parlors. Office: Breyman Bros., Building, SALE M, OREGON. 3"-Hours from 8 A. M. to 5 P. M.- ! W. R..BILYEU, ATTORN EY-AT-LAW, ALBANY, OREGON. E. j- M'CAUSTLAND, CIVIL ENGINEER SURVEYOR. Draughting and Blue Prints. Office with Oregon Land Co., Albany. Seweracre System and Water Supplies a Specialty. "Jstates Subdivided. Haps made or copied 011 short notice. fl. L McG'LRUE; (Successor to C H. IIakmon ) 3arfcer : and : Haiixlresser, I LEBANON, OREGON. SHAVING. HAIR CUTTING AND ; Shampooing in the latest and best i style. Special attention paid to dressing : Ladies' hair. Your patronage respect- fuilv solicited. ! LEBANON its Meat Market, ED. KELLENBERGER, - Projr , j Fresh & Salted Beef, Tork, Mutton, j 'Sausage, Bologna, and Ham. j Baooo aijd Card Muays oi Jaod. Main Street, Lebanon, Or. 8. S. PIIiLSBUKY, lit. , VA r a i JEWELRY, RBOWNSVILE, OREGON TTan-3MMrtr savt f hu the W. t. Donna Slio. a uhout Tiame and prtc liawuta oa lb bottom, pot him down aa a frmud. 17. L. DOUGLAS $3 SHOE FOR GENTLEMEN. - Beat In tke world. Kmititne lit 5.k cem'ixk haxk-sr.wed shoe. 4.00 h.andjsewku wki.t shok.. ;lso police and farmkkv shoe. K't.&O USTR VAI.rE ;ai.f shoe. WORKINGMAX'S SHOK tti.OO and Ul.SS BOVS' SCHOOL SHOES. 11 niade in -(nkrrr.s Button and La. V. L. DOUGLAS G3 SHOE LAFDrcs. Beat Material. Beet Style. Beat Flttinc It IMt sold by yonr dealer, write xamine W. L. Doutrtas S2 Shoe for Gentlemen and Ladles." for Sale by C. C. If A CMC X E"XA 3T. The Shah'a Cousin a Ci-iminaL The Persian Prince Kejkuban Dech- i - man turza, a cousin oi the Shah, has ju9t been convicted of counterfeiting in Moscow, Russia, and has been con demned to tire rears of hard labor in j biberia. I The largest lemon orchard in the j world is in process of planting at San ) Diego, Cal. It will comprise iiiX) acrea. j TV MUCH THE NEWEST, NOBBIEST AND LARGEST STOCK OF fx -I : 7i In the County, is now to be Tv. K. BLAIN, ALBANY, 53When you want to "dress up," we would be glad to show you through and make the right price. MERCHANT TAILORING A SPECIALTY. -j Mr. E. A. Schkfflkr, is an expert, and has charge of this dp-j partment. We guarantee satisfaction. MY SPRING STOCK - OF DRY GOODS, KRESS GOODS LT.i! Ladies' and Children's Shoes, Has arrived. I have also MEN'S, YOUTHS' & BOYS' CLOTHING, FURNISHING GOODS. BOOTS, SHOES, ETC., Of which we carry a Full and Complete Line, and will not he uu dersold. Come and see us, and we will treat you well. O. W. SIMPSON, ALBANY, - - OREGON. THE YAQUINA ROUTE. OEEGON PACIFIC RAILROAD. Oregon EeTElcpiest Company 's steans.19 Line. : 225 Shorter, 20 Hours Less Time j i Than hy any other.Rotiie. FIRST-CLASS THROUCH PASSENCER .AND FREIGHT LINE j From Portland and all points in the Wtilamctte j Valley to and from Sau Franci-sco. Cat. ; OREGON PACIFIC RAILROAD. TIMR 8CF.DVLK, tRxccpt Snndaya I j ! I.v Albany itnp. m. I.v Vaquitia -Jt5 a. m. ; i Lv Corvallis lnp. m. Lv CorvalHi to:,? a. m. -I At Vaquina 5:30 p. m. Ar Albany n:n-a m. : ' O. & C trains conn tret at Alhan and Corvallis. I The above titins connect at Vaquina witi the ; I Oregon Iievclopment Company's line of Stram- ; j ships between Vaquina and San Francisco. j ! SA1L1XO DATKS. j steamer. Fra. S.F. Steamer. Fm. Yaq'naJ -1 Farallon" .Mav sTwilameite V"y . May 4 : : Willamette Val'y May 9. Farallon ...May 9. j ; Farallon . Mav 14. Willamette V'y Mav 14 ; j Willamette V'y. May 20. Farallon . " M:y 30' j This company reserves the right to change sail- j ng dates without notice. i j Passenifers from Portland and all Willamette j ! Valley points can make close connection with the ' trains of the Yaquina route at Albany or Corval- j , lis, and if destined to San Francisco should ar i range to arrive at Vaquina the evening lefore the j date of sailing. I Passenger and Freight Rates I Always the Ixiwest. I For particulars apply lb i C. H HASWELL. ! C. C. HiN'.rF. j Oen'l.Ft ft Pass. Agt. I Act'g ".en. F. t P. Agt. ; j Oregon Ilod pm nt Co : o, P K. K. R. Co., : 304 Moul$rom ery St. r Corvallis, ! San Francisco, "Cal. Oregon. NORTH WH ND. Leave Corvallis Monday, Wednesday, Friday, ' 6 a. ni. Leave Allmny q:V a. m. Arrive Salem. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, j p m. Leave Salem, Tuesday, Thursday, Satur day, S a. m. 1 Arrive Portland, jTuesday, Thursday, Saturday, 3:jo p. m si t th 101 r Leave Portland Monday, Wednesday, Friday. 6 a. m. Arrive Salem. Monday, Wednesday Friday, 7:15 : p. m. Leave Salem. Tuesday, Thursday, Sattir- : day. 6a. m. Leave Albany, 1:30 p ni. ArrivetCorvallis Tuesdai-, Thiirsday, Saturday. 3:30 p. m. J. L. COWAN. J. M. RALSTON". Bank of Lebanon, LEBANON, OREGON. Transacts a Gsueral Banking Business. ACCOUNTS KEPT SUBJECT TO CHECK. Exchange sold on New York, San ! Francisco, Portland and Alhatiy. Oregon. ! Collections lua.Ie 011 lavoraiile terms. G.T.COTTON, -: DEALER IK :- rocsries aim Proviso. TOBACCO and CIGARS, SMOKERS' ARTICLES. Foreip and Domestic rrnits, Confectionery, Queensware and Glassware, Lamps and Lamp Fixtures. ' Pays Caah for Egga. Main Street, I.b.non, Oregon. THfT Tr Til? G Seen on the Counters of OREGON. - inet Jackets, Beaded Caps received my Spring Stock of STANLEY'S MARCH THROUCH AFRICA. Th Plctnrqn Cunlnri. Which companird th tirrat Kxplurrr. Ae- On the march from camp to ramp Stanley and his c-hoirt fnllowiujj of picket!" pciTa.! ami sohlicrs cut a pic turesque and pnimiiu-nt tirnre in the long procession tr nearly it thousand people in Indian file 011 the winding African road. Thirty or forty men of the expedition had Iwn rewarded with flaming red blankets for good service, and had lieen promoted by Stanley to the honor of carrxing hi tent and per sonal effects. Stanley rde a very good donkey, which was presided over by a young man with a red turlmn, red knee-tireevhes. and red shirt, and seemed particularly proud of the ex alted position to w hich lie had on his personal merits climbed. Isehind the donkey streamed the great exploivr's red-blanket brigade, with Iwixes. tent, etc, ou their heads, and with the red blankets proudly trailing to their heels behind. The scarlet brigade, with Mr. Stanley on the donkey in the lead, hurried ntin . passing ihe others as a fast train passes a slow one, and usual ly reached camp in advance. If the sun was shining Stanley hoisted a big greenish umbrella. The rvst of Stan ley's jKop!e were divided into com- , paniesor divisions, of each of which ail officer had command and was responsi- . ble for certain goods. Of the Europeans Stanley, Emin, ; Casati. Jephson. aud lionny i-ole don- ! keys; Parke. Stairs and Nelson walked. Parke had never ridden a step of the : way across Africa. Two picked car- I riers conveyed Kniin Pasha's little girl in a litter, and of the Egyptian and mongrel women some rode donkeys, some walked, and some were carried ou stretchers. j Meu and women carried infants on : their shoulders, though not always, for i one of the sad sights of the daily inarch was poor little pickaninnies of 6 or 7 ; years old, sore-footed and weary, hob- 1 bling along and crying all the time to ; be carried. What a time it must have j been to these small miserable trudging j along day after day on the endless ; road, thirsty, hungry, tired, stubbing sore toes, stepping on a thorn now and then, weeping and snuffling, losing sight of their mothers if the3' had any. jostled and passed by rude, brutish ; men, who wished them dead and out ; of the way oor little wretches! Then there were Wanyamvezi por ters bringing ivory, who had joined the caravan for safety to the coast; , Emin's Egyptian officers, and a motley assortment of negresses from the ' Equatorial Province, wives and concu- j bines of the officers and soldiers, some in the primitive costumes of their country and tribe, others wearing ' clothes. Altogether these various ele- ; incuts must have swelled the total to uearly a thousand souls. S. T. World. A Ietrlttel ;fant. Joseph Sweshenger, who resides near 1 Stanford, writes to the Hiiu.r I'rtss par- ; ticulars of a wonderful discovery he recently made in an unfrequented ! mountain near his residence. The dis- . covery consists of a petrified man, with j all his limbs in a perfect state of preser- : vatiott. The body stands by a massive J bowlder, of which it seems to hal e j become apart, and can not lie removed j without considerable labor and excuse. 1 A liny stream of water flowing from a spring above falls dircetly upon the head of the body, after passing over it loses itself in 1 he su iron tiding rock. The ' Ixidy measures 6 feet aiid 1 inches from the crown of the head to the soles of the feet, ami is well proportioned, the ! chest and limbs being of ponderous widlli and size. The features are of a 1 severe Roman type, surmounted by a : broad, high forehead aud a luxurious growth of hair, which is as lirni as rock itself. A beard reaching to the ! waist completes a picture which inspires ' a feeliug of awe and reverence in the beholder. Certain hieroglyphics are ; cut uiou the rock, a true copy of which ' Mr. Sweshenger promises to" send us. j Thus far he has kept the discovery a j secret, but will in due time divulge its j locality. It is, indeed, a wonderful j discovery, indicating as it does that the I first inhabitants of this country were ' giants. 1'acoma News. Last year Germany granted only 8,921 pensions.against England's 9,779, and the United Stales' 20.420. The number granted in Germain has fallen off i'it m live 3 ears. What la a Gentleman? What I a ntlrman! laltsthln JW-ked with a crfi!n, chain and a ring. lVressod In a suit of Inimnciitat" style, Snort ttiit an e tvRlaas. a Hap tint! a smMe: Talking-of race and enncerta ami hulls, Fvenlng scmlillea and afternoon call. fttintttiiH: lihtisn f at "at home'' aii'l linxar. Whistling niaxuika and smoking clgarst What la a ge ntlpman flay, la It on Boasting of comiuest and deeds he has done? One wlm unhliishlnirlr glories to sneak Things which should vail up a Hush to hla cheek I1 One who, while rnllliifr at action unjust. Robs some joung heart of lis puruncsa antl UtlNtr 9mrn to steal money, or Jewels, orwentth. Thinks It DO wrong 10 take honor hy stealth? Whattsagw'tlemanr la It not one i K Hewing Instlnciivel.v wlml he should shun, j Sealcinp no word Hint could Injure nr pain. Spreading no scandal an t dc-i niiur no atalnr j One wlio knows how to 1 lit each at Ids eau. Mi-tviinrsuccessiiiil.v niwaya to piee One wlio can tell by a frlance at your cheek When to be silent aud when ha aliould p. akf What Is a trentlemnnr la It not one Honestly eating the bread lie lias won. Walking In nprtirlilmwa. fearing Ids Hod. Leaving no stain on the path he haa trod; Curing not whether hla coat may 1 e old; Prixlng alnoenty far almve goldr ' Keeking not whether his hand may be Imrd ' Stretching it boldly to graap Its n-wanlr What la a gentleman Par. la It birth Make a man nolile or adds to hla worth? ! there a family tre to lie hud Shady enough to rmnccal what la bad Seek out the man who hits clod for his guide. Nothing to tremble at. nothing to hide. i He he a noble or lie he In trade. Me is a gentleman Nature bus made. Tim Pilot. . THE QUEKX WINS, j Thebnstille had not vet fallen. The ' thoughtless youth of the French arlstoo- ! racy still danced through the saloons ; of the royal castles. Maurepas still reigned prime minister the same i friend of humanity w ho made the com- ; passionate decision concerning the peo- j i lie's welfare; Why build hospitals. ; 'an not the people die 011 the roads if! they like?"' 1 This ei ening Maurepas had the honor of being permitted to lead the beaut i- 1 ful Marie Antoinette to the card-table, ; but, complaining of a severe headache j as they passed through the saloon, the good queen excused him from further attendance that the pain might not lie ' ' Increased. As he n as hastening back ' through the ante-chamlier to the danc ing hall, where the king was taking his : : coffee, lie perceived lieiicalh the gobelin taiestrr of the famous Louvois window a man in citizens' dress, who regarded : him expectantly aud bowed low before him. i It Is sll right. Dtiinoni't, whispered i the asthmatic old man; this evening, ' his majesty will taste of it." And he 1 forthwith "thrilled out one of his bun-; dred madrigals, which, iu truth, were , tame enough, but which his flatterers ; , found very witty. In the royal apart-; meut he saw just then Louis XVI. take . from a sugar basin two delicately ; broken lumps of sugar ami sweeten his ootlee with them. As the king tok a mouthful of the coffee the minUterial friend of the people approached aud ; . asked respectfully: How does yo'ur majesty find the ' coffee this evening?'' "As usual, excellent" ; 'The best mocha is always nMn your majesty's table: but does the sugar suf ficiently moderate the bitterness of the coffee?" Louis XVI. was sensitive to mockery : . and irony even to timidity; therefore he : said inquiringly: What do you mean bv that?" Maurepas laughed. "Your majesty, J I permit me one question. How much. 1 sire, do you think these two pieces of j ' sugar cost?" The king looked uneasy, i ! "Do yon wish to test my mathem-i- : tical ability?" Maurepas cunt. ntntl toi laugh. "11 ell, then. I will answer; ! our pi"obleni: Sugar costs the jM-ople alaiut 80 sous a pound. If I reckon, . eight- pieces ti the pound it makes 1 Sou lor each piece; but since to me as! king every thing is quadrupled. I have! this evening consumed 8 sous" worth of : sugiir." "This sugar is the gift of one of your : subjects, who counts himself happy 1 that It is considered worthy of a place ; on your majesty's table; therefore it j etvsts you nothing, sire, hot the giver ! i Tallies every piece at a full Louis iVor." ; I "You are leside vonrself M. de Maurepas. Eighty Louis d'or for a i Kiind of sngarl At that rate I should be compelled to sell Hamliouilet to sii- ' ply my brother with sugar for a year, i for you know he takes a handful to everv cup. But explain to me jour jesLr' i "In a moment, your majesty." And ; he took the sugar-basin and emptied ; the contents Uou the marble table and : counted the pieces. "Forty -three, with the ones used forty-five, worth 1,080 ; francs; but look, your majesty, what ' dazzling whiteness and how light it ls ! aud how sweet, without any bitter after- ; taste." "Come, now," said Louis, interrupt- ; Ing his babble, "is sugar ever bitter?" ; "And your majesty will never guess j from w hat this sugar is made." The king was not without some knowledge of chemistry, therefore he . answered hesitatingly: ! "Naturally from the sugarcane." "Pardon me, your majesty, it is beet- ! root sugar." "Beet-root! What is beet-root?" The duchess of Chartreuse, who was listening, drew near and said: "Beets, sire, are little red leaves, of which my ' servants make salad." i M. de Maurepas cut off her explana tion with a malicious laugh. "Beets , are edible roots, which people as well as cattle find palatable, and now they uave oeen iouuu to yieltl sugar." Respect kept the brilliant company out of hearing distance, ami thev watched eagerly the strange proceed- inga. All this examining, weighing. ana couuting of the sugar tossed up the court gossip among them like a bright soap-bubble. Who first whispered it: "The king has been poisoned by a cup of coffee?-' 'Heaven forbid! And we have drunk the same coffee!" "Ho, not the coffee it was the sugar." "Some one go tell th queen!" So L " uriuuivd, aud - tered the excluded viru.u. Marie Antoinette sat with the duchess of Polignac, her tenderly loved friend, at cards. "What ails you, Agatha?" asked she kindly, as the favorite sighed. Agatha de Polignac raised her roguish brown head and said, saucily, "Three millions, my adored queen!'' "Sigh not, my angel; I will beg Louis to grant them to you. We owe it to the great families." The designing princess lifted the queen's lace sleeve to her red lips, whispered gratefully, "Oh, that I might las permitted to die for my be loved queen!" . 1 "Live for me, you dear child, and, j my word for it, I will provide the 1 8.O0O.0O0. for which you will be willing to live." At this moment a courtier approached and broke to them the dreadful tid ings; "His majesty has been poisoned by M. de Maurepas with sugar." A moment later the queen, white to the very lips, stood beside her husband. "For heaven's sake, Louis!" cried she in her distress, unmindful of all cere mony. "What is the matter, my queen?" asked Louis in the gentle way which he had never abandoned toward his be loved wife. What brought you to me? You are very pale." He seized a glass of water, poured some of the newly discovered sugar in it, and hand ed her the glass. "Driuk. It is too warm in the saloon and the company is too excitiug. This 1 sugar water will refresh 3011." " j 'l'he queen rust a peui'trnting glance j at Maurepas. who now fully under-1 stood what he had only half heard, j With a quick movement he took the j glass from the kind's hand unil c I rained j it at a draught. I Ketl with auger (lie king deir.audcd j an explaiiiilioii of this insolence, hut j Marie Antoinette ottered the minister i her hand and wan aliout to cxp'.ain to the. j ! king when suddenly the broad leaves ' of the great door new open and the I palace guard led 5n a man quite up to ) the feet of the k'lng. The terrified, ap i ivearanee of the prisoner, his coarse rout, ttie lirmvii tvait-t:i)iit ml panta- loons, the hroad. clumsy shoes with i-.i i.. . i t ... ...,... ; i i leaden buckles, contrasted strangely witn tne gav siiKen mure, me inuieu hangings, the laces aud diamonds of ! the surroundings. ! "What does this mean?" asked the king astonished. j "Permit me. your majesty, to bring this man before t tin, who understands; how to make sugar out of vegetables, j Dumonet is trying to ruin our colonies' j nnd make them useless to us. This is the discoverer of beet sugar."' i "Discoverer? No, that honor does ' not belong to tne," exclaimed the ! Chemist Dumonet. "It was a learned MaJ. Sci re, who, d tiling the regeucy. j deceived by the beautiful red color tfie beet gives "out in cooking, fancied he i could make red wine out of it, Instead j of the desired wine lie found the bot- t torn of his retort covered with line sugar. I At that time France was rich iu colonies 1 on the Mississippi, therefore no one paid any heed to the discovery. Norj was it full v developed. 1 learned j abroad, in Prussia, new improvements, ; expended my small possessions to test; it, and I hope 1 have succeeded." "It is not a poison, then?" cried j Marie Antoinette, meaningly. The king for the first time understood what had preceded, and discovered also that I the chemist was bound. At a sign the l bond was cut aud the guard left the room without DumoneL Meanwhile the queen bravely took a piece of sujrar in her lovely mouth That was the signal for the young cour- tiers to rush umui the la-fore distrusted sugar, vieing iih each other to exhibit their courage, their devotion through this harmless Mtison. Oently, my ladies, my lords," cried Maurepas, ever? little piece of that sugar cost a gobfen louis. "But the sugar is not one bit lietter than our ordinary sttgar." remonstrated the queen, "and it is only a curiosity leading to ruin." Dumonet droped on one knee. "Your majesty is in a measure correcL Exerimeutiug in a small way, at the same exjiense as a great trade, natural ly makes this sample excessively tlear; but if voiir majesty will advance me two millions for ihe development of larger facilities for manufacture 1 shall lie able to furnish a xiind of sugar for 10 sous instead of 4 francs." The king recoiled involuntarily, and Marie Antoinette grasjied her famous necklace, which had cost two millions, as if the plain man lief ore her bad lieen a roblier. Her disapproving glauce gave directiou to the king's answer. "Dr. DumoneL 1 honor enterprise; accept this snuff-box as a recognition of iL But two millions the state cau not possibly lend you. That is too much money for the exhausted exche quer." Dumonet received the gift resjiectful ly. Sire, soouer or later tuy enter prise will uuel the money. The hole shallow.subservient swarm of courtierliiigs cried out an excited echo to the roval words: Two millions for sugar! Two milli- Dns! The man should lie in a mad house! The matt should be so shame less? Just as if it were not all the same whether one pays 10 sous or 4 francs for a pound of sugar: And if any can't pay it let him take his food un sweetened. What has the goverumeut to do with that?"' And so Dumonet was dismissed. He had only needed 1.000.000: the second was the price demauded by the minister for the introduction. This evening Maurepas composed the only good verse of his life, which, translated. runs somewhat thus: Altho" his life to sweeten is alt his n at i-are. Two million t nines for sugar The king Duds rather dear." The furor which his wit created at the court consoled him somewhat for the lost 1.0O0,U00,aud was it not all the same whether at his death there should be a deficit of oue paltry milliou more or less? He left, in fact, a round 10 000.000 in debts. It was a noble euro; nine would not have sounded so im pressive. Dumonet migrated to Belgium, where be found more appreciation, ami lived, safe and respected.while the revolution storm swept over his unhappy father land. "Who laughs last." etc". "And my queen would have died with me?"' asked Louis, as he accom panied her to their chamber that night. She was so lieautiful, so dainty; in her wonderful eyes beamed the "reflection of loviug tears. The next morning the kinggrauted 3.500.000 out of the state coffers to the unfortunaie"' duchess of Polignac. From the French, for tlie American Analyst. Life in Far (Shetland. iiie nouses nere are mttcn the same as crofters' houses all over Shetland, with low walls, an arch-shaed roof, 1 thatched with straw and weighed down j with heavy stoues, to secure it against 1 the hurricanes of Winter. The lire is mi 1 . a on the floor, a little iu front of the wall farthest from the door, and the smoke j ?. J ' s. or at least is expected to find, its way out an open chimney iu the roof. In some houses there are internal chim neys of wood, w hich arrangement adds much to the comfort of the occupants. In all. there is the spinning-wheel aud the ever-clicking kuiiliug-pius. as also the ancient stone quern for grind ing their here into meal. The meal so prepared is called "burstin." small cakes baked of it are ''burstiu-broonies," and when eateu with cream it iskuown as "burstiu-pratn," all which words tuny exercise the etymologist. Each crofter has, as a rule, oue or more cows and ponies, with a number of sheep corresponding to the extent of his hold ing. Some families are, iu their rank, evidently comfortable and well to do. Others are as evidently uoor. The Sleeping-car Wreck. Manager Bennett has three bright youngsters; ranging from 3 to 7. The other morning he was awakened by a heavy crash in the children's room, followed bv a prolonged howl. He rushed in. The smallest kid was raising the roof, while the eldest stood, half frightened, contemplating a heavy bureau which was tipped on the floor. Papa," he shouted, "Frankie's in the upper berf. Frankie's in the up per berf." With considerable difficulty Mr. Ben nett raised the wreck and skidded it on to the track. Then he opened the upper drawer, and young Frank popped his head out and surveyed the group. We was playing sleepiu' car, pop." he exclaimed. "I got iu all right aud Fwed tried to climb in the lower berf when the old car tipped over. But we didn't bweak nullin, did we pop?" 'Nothing more valuable than 3-our necks, you young train robbers," was the fond parent's comforli'ug reply. Waatunyton Fust. From one point in Missouri over 1, 000,000 cottouwood saplings have been shipjied this year to Nebraska aud Iowa to be plautcd ou treu claims. i WIT AND HUMOU. The pe:il of a banana has a falling in flection. Yonke.rs Uazi tte. A cloud upon a real-estate title does not always havo a silver lining. llutch inri JVws. If a girl knows she is pretty it is not because any other girl told her so A eh inert Hhiltr.. The rejected suitor probably con siders his girl not-ty but nice Ding' hmnpton lsttlcr. An official organ is one that has an authorized crank to turn it. A'c0 Orlcan I'tmyune. (.enllenien who wind their watches at night are apt to wind them up tight IhiMon Trnnxcriitt. When a man is under a cloud the sil Ter lining is generally on the other side. I'Uiiiidi-ljihi'i Vrr. From the fruit preserver we get our jams and from the distiller our jim-j j:ims. IIokIhh Courier, I Ardent Suitor "Do you love me, i darling?" Modern girl "1 dou't know, i How much are yon worth?" AVmcr. : t'lY'e Journal. ' Tomlet I see that they are making clolh out of gla.-s.' "itohlet "For; opera dresses and the ballet, 1 imagine." .V. 1'. Herald. i Teacher "Tommy, how is the earth j divided?" Tommy "Between theni j that's got it and theni that wants it.' ! Ttrre Jmite Fsrisx. j A squeeze iu the stock market may j lie a bear hug or it may In the result: of getting entangled in bull rushes. j Itittijhtttiit n liejiitilieaii. j "It st-iHH impossible to get away ; from theni." s:tid a Wall street sufferer who saw a shark while sojourning iu Florida. Wuihtinjton 1'o-tl. She "I hear pool Charley flood-; enough lias shot himself. Did he lv ' his money?"' He "Ni. He married; a woman with a inissio.i." Life. Duke "Be mine. Miriam. I lay all my titles at thy feel." Miriam "toj , slow, Duke. I "don't care for titles.. Let's see your deeds." .V. V. Sun. Ted "Whv don't you take your girl skating?" Ned "She doesu't know i how." Ted Lucky f.-llow! That's where all the fun comes in." Life- -Who shall set a limit to the intlti ence of a human la-ing" queries the : philosopher. '1 he hum. in being's office ; bov, of course. .WTviVc Jouriml. Brown "Why do they call Prof. Quay the electric pianist?" Sniitn ; l "O, I stippo-e la-cause he has such shocking execution."' Jlvme Sentinel. An exchange states: "A late census ; of France embraced JO.'J.io.tS"J women ; all told." t If course they did; women never could keep a secret" F'nii-uV l pui't i'ri si. There's nothing very doleful alxuit : it; still when t maiden iias sifted a kiss through an incipient mustache she is ! apt to get down in tin; mouths"' I'Uila Uill'hi't 'res. Do you want the earth?" inquired the haughty hotel clerk f a meekly com ! plaining guest. "No. was the reply-, you can kee, it awhile longer till I ask you for it." irisAi'oii I'ust. "Ten dollars for that parrot? Why, it's simply monstrous!' "But. sir, I dense to oliserve tttat he speaks two aiiguages. "What are they? Why, English and his native tongue." Jtllt'je. I He (at midnight) "Funny custom ' the Chinese hate. The hostess is ex- pected to notify the caller when it is time to go." She (with a sigh) But ! we are iu Aiffrrica, you know.'1 Turt ; Jiiute f-.ri'rri'x. Mr. Awger (looking over editor's ! shoulder as be clips at; article from an 'exchange) "Does that require much intellect?'' Editor "None whatever; : whv. I la-lii-ve even you could do it" ! JU'insr-r' We.kly. Turner That Sampson is a mean : man " Draw ly Yaws, by Jove: i he said theolhaw night mat I weiuind i ed him of Bawnnm's W hat-Is It." "But ; I will say of him he's as honest as the day is long." YYw. - A woman writer says: Women ', want comfort." And yet. offer a ; woman the choice between a ton of coal and a pair of French heel shoes aud which do you suppose she will i take? if'txti.s SijXin'j. i Trovers (in hat store) "I wish you would charge me for this hat. Clerk j "But we don't know you. sir." Trovers ' "That's all the more reason. then. why you should le willing to charge it" Clothier arid Furnisher. ! "Hello. Biggs, where yer going so early with that big market basket?" i 'On a post-prandial excursion, old man." 'HJii a what?" 'Post-prandial excursion; going after dinner, you J know." Itosrton Transcriit. "Judge Blank is quite a lwiok col ; lector, you know." "Well, w hat of it?" "He ft. and a tattered copy of a rare j book the other day and the first thing ; he did was to have it bound over to ; keep the pieces." A". 1". Ihruld. j "I Pee' said Mrs. Henieek. "that the i new Brazilian Goverumeut has estab : lished civil marriages." "Well, I wish I you'd go down there and learn some j thing aliotit them. I'm getting mighty j tired of this uncivil affair of ours.'' S, ; Y. Hun. j "O, doctor." exclaimed the weeping j wife, "must you give my husbaud up! 1 Cnn't you do'something more for him. i doctor. before you go?" "Yes, i madam." said the doctor, grimly, "1 i can make out my bill." HointrviUt I Journal. "You have road 'Finst in the origin al. I presume, Mr. Very bright P' sht said, while the other folks at table were discussing German literature. "No, 1 haven't" he replied, "but I've read I Goethe, though. Have you ever read I him?" A. IV Sun. j Cjerks "You know old Sample, the ; biggest liar in the Northwest? Well, ; he's going into business." Bjerks j "What's he going into?" Cjerks "He : hasn't made up his mind whether to 1 I a weather prophet or a crop statisti ; cian." Mimieitiolis Journal. Mr. Bluepill "I am in favor of any I movement that will shorten the hours 1 of labor. I think uo man should lie : compelled to work more than eighteen hours a day." Labor Agitator--"You ' mean eight hours?"' "No, I mean eighteen. I am a drug, clerk." Time. Tommy "Paw, why do they always say 'counting noses' when tuey t.-tik about counting a crowd?' Mr. Figg It started at political meetings, my sou. You can see a politican's nose when there is not light enough to dis tinguish anything else." 2trrtt Haute Kuprvin. "Dashley "I would like to go to that masquerade to-night, but 1 am broke. 1 can't even afford to buy a mask." Cash ley "Why, you could get trusted for a mask." Dashley "That's so. May lie I could." Cashlcy "Certainly. Your face ought to be good for a mask anywhere." America. Mrs. Wick wire "Why don't you quit that stupid habit you've got ol saying 'By Jove'? What do you know about Jove anyway?' Mr. Wickwire "I will if you w ill stop saying 'The idea' every time you are soken to. What do you know about ideas any way?" Tcrre Haute Express. "Don't you think," said a youth, after working his vocal cords with in tense vigor beside the hotel piano, "that I ought to go on the stage?" "Yes," replied Miss Pepperton, who doesn't like iiitn yery well, ! certainly do I DON'T DELAY IN SECURING TERRITORY. Finest Book on Earth' for the Farmer, Stockman and Blacksmith. LARGEST PROFITS! for Cnl,iliurint Ao't' Term apptg to B. L. FERBLEE, 307 Sagsome St., 539 raTjeiseo, Qaf. There is one that leaves for the station just an hour and a half from now." Mu.iieul Courier. Jack Rapid (behind the scenes ex amining a coin suspended from the bracelet of the premiere dauseuse "Whv, w hat a rare coin! Staiiied with the old Roman Elligy too. Where did you get it?' Rival "Coryphee tin an audible whisper) ASh got it from Julius C:esar for a birthday gift." I'hUadeljihia I'rcxs. Sold by a Chinaman. The mimetic skill of the Chinaman is proverbial. ; So that when a few days ago Fo Chi j Lo set in the window of his Ninth street I curiosity shop a box filled with artificial flies, there was only an increase to the ; already prevalent wonder. Those flies j were marvels of imitative ingenuity j big.fat, blue-Uitiles true to life in every Semblance of the genuine, even to the i reproduction of the delicate tlown upon i Mie legs and the irridescent sheen of the ' wings. Colonel Joe Love, of Chicago, Is ; famous among his friends as a lover of ' the manual arts aud the ingenious ! crafts, and in passing the shops of Fo j Chi IvO. one day last week, his interest t was aroused in the Hies. He bought j one, cheerfully paying the 1 tie- mauded. j The Oy was nested In cotton and j placed in a small jewelry-box by the ' Chinaman. and delivered with every in- f junction to the Colonel not to break it , Colonel Love dined at Welcker's that ! evening, and during the coffee struck j off into the general subject of imitative ; art and the skill of the Chinese in par ticular. Then, to illustrate the point ; he drew from the snug recess of his j pocket the box containing the fly. His ' IhrpA fellnwwlinera elnseif . I u 1 1 1 1. hi m. He lifted the lid. parted the warm cot- ton and revealed the fly. which, with a struggle of legs and ti'titter of wings, to the Colonel's unlounded astonish ment hoped out and flew away. The laugh at liia expeuse was uproarious, aud he cheerfully paid for the dinners as the price of the company's silence. In a small circle of friends, however, he will be asked to the end of time whether he has had any recent obser ' rations of Chinese iugenuity, or has paid a dollar to thaw out any more frost-bitten flics. Chicago Journal. lust How to Cat a Justice's Gown. The Supreme conrt is a place of traditious and preeedeuts, and even the cut and make of the gowns of the justices are so well defined by custom that there is lint little scoe left for the individual taste of the owner. An authority on this subject says that the gown is made of wide straight widths. At tne bottom it is three yards and a quarter wide, and it comes down to the ankles. The gown has a narrow hem around the bottom and a broad one straight down the front At the top it is gauged to a yoke, which is short on the shoulders and forms a deep scallop at the back. This yoke has a silk lining between the out side aud the inner one of silk. The sleeves are a yard and a quarter wide and reach to the hands. The lining of the sleeves is formed by doubling the material at the bottom, turning it up on the inside, and placing it alout a quarter of a yard above the bottom to a narrower silk lining, which nicely tits the justice's arm. The arrange ment makes the lower part of each sleeve apiear to be a w ide, loose puff. The sleeves are gauged to a yoke on the stu-ulders with many rows of gauging, but not so many at the back of the gown, w here it is a quarter of a yard deep. One woman has made the gowns for the last forty years, and she gets 100 for ever one of them. They are made alike, the only difference being in the material, the chief justice wearing black Chinese satin, w hile his asso ciates are rolied in black silk. The chief jusiice always wears a new gown v. hen he swears in a president The new gown is always subject to a good tleal of criticism by th older justices, and its tit is closely scanned. lioston Herald. A Youthful Investigator. There is a family of homeopaths of the highest dilution residing on High st reel, not far from the corner of Wood ward avenue, says the Detroit Tribune. The children of this family are taught from their earliest infancy to abhor and eschew anything in the shape of medicine that has the least taste. Smell, or color. Curiosity, however, got the lietter of the training of the youngest member a few days ago. and clutching a brig.it new euiiy, the gift of a visit ing lei.itixe. in his chubby hand the littic feiiov toddled away to a drug store ou the avenue antl surprised the clerk with the demand for a ienny's w til th of "allopalic med"cine," Alter thinking over Lie matter a few minute the pharmaceutical gentleman handed out a big lump of alum to his voiiug customer who was soon after found by his mother sealed on the loot-step munching the alum with a 'ace radiant with delight. If the spirit t in vesiigal ion does not kill this 6 f ear-old lietore ho arrives at the age of li.ilurily it seems extremely proiiable .hat he will some day lie heard ol" again n ohcr fields of slutly aud research. His Quick. Wit Saved His Life. Bicdler. the famous Montana scout was as intrepid as he was fertile of re source in danger. One time at Miles City lit came out of the door of a saloon to find himself within twenty inches of the mii.ile of a 44-cahler revolver m the hand of a noted desperado ou whose trail the deputy marshal had ofttimes camped. "I ni going to blow the innards out of your skull, you vigilante hound," quoth the bad man. "Not with that thing," said X, in a conversational but semi-querulous tone, "it ain't cocked!" The bad man threw np the pistol to see if Bicdler was right, aud made the mistake of a life which ended right there. St. I'aui Fioneer. Farming In Spain. . Consul Turner writes from Cadiz to ' Die slate department that fanning in Spain is iu a primitive state. Grain is ! cut with a small reaping-hook and j threshed as in the time of the Caesars, j by trainpiug it out with asses hitched ! to a stoue-Jmat The plow is a crooked suck pointeu witn iron, in me towns are to be seen heavy wooden 8n carts drawn by oxen. Most of the c arr mis - loukevs, transferring, etc, is doue by do Sand, brick, lumber in fact, almost everything that. has to be moved is carried ou their backs. EXPERIENCED COUIITY CARYASERS ' To make a success when they hare under taken the sale of CUT THIS OUT and re turn t us with 111 cents and receive ten samples that will niake you more money in a week than anything ever offered. Something new, durable and profitable. Send at onee to Nokthwkktkrx Si i-fi.t Co., No. iiZ't First Mieet. Portland, Orejtrjn. !rimiii ftniinnfiirmnt! nn ' joTAIi WUMllUft IU, Manufacturers of : Printers' Rollers, Roller Compilion. ! PADDING CEMENT ETC. R oiler Casting a Specialty. 1 107 Fourth St., ICast Portland. Or. Lived Among Cannibal. Bere;ford Alfred, Baron d'Este, and his wife, nee Harney, whose first hus band was the Viscount de None, are at the Southern. The Baron d'Este is a Frenchman by birth, an Italian by descent, an Englishman through his mother, ami a man of many countries by yirtneof travel and inclination. He wears his title lightly, as oue who lias seen much of the world aud lived among those nations where rank is levelletl by necessity; and such is in deed the case. In conversation with a representa tive of the Republic he said that he had 8ent much of his life in the British colonies. The Baron is a handsome ! man " ''! a sunburned face, speaks English like an Englishman, and does ! not look over 40 years of age. though ; be may be older. As a young man he i spent several years in Australia, but i in 1870, when'cotton was commanding a very high price, he, in company with . a number of friends, went into the ; business of raising the costly product on the Fiji Islands. The islands at that time were inhabited largely by ; eannibals, aud white men, though as ; sisted by the friendly natives, carried their lives in their bauds, and went ; constantly armed. "The sister of my first wife." said - the Baron, "was shot down by the na- lives, along with her husband and , their two children. The cannibals theu ; attempted to carry off the dead bodies. ; inteudiug to eat them at their leisure ; in the mouutains, but fortunately re ; enforcements came to our aid anil j the savages were driven back. My business partner died, and Some of the ' wretches pilfered his grave of two I thigh bones, which they carried off to ' their mountain -e treat as trophies; but ' I found out who had been guilty of the . desecration, and succeeded in recover ; ing the bones. "1 was once on the point of Lasting ! human flesh myself. Some of the na- tives had lieen assisting us to build a . bouse, aud the completion of the work ; was celebrated with a feast In the : course of the dinner I helped myself from a dish whose contents resembletl i pork, and was about to taste of it when . a friendly tiativa nudimt itia with hid elbow aud whispered one suggestive ; aud sufficient word "Man. 1 needed : no further explanation; bnt it must ! have been a great disappointment to ; the cannibals, who wouid have been l much pleased to think that a white I man had eaten human flesh. Our life . was certainly a dangerous one, but : cotton was selling high aud we made money. In 1875 the English took os- session of the island. 1 gladly joined their forces, and the cannibals were j all either killed or ni.tde prisoners." In 1S8 the Baron left the Fiji Islands j for India, where he went into the bns'i j ness of raising sugar. He also spent J some time in Madagascar, but for the ; past few years has lieeu living iu Paris. iL Louis Heim'jlie. A Wonderful Indian o rt. The Navajo tribe of Indians own im mense flocks of well-bred -socep. and the w ool clipaverages l.vrtio.mHi Minuds annually. A part of this finds its war into the regnlar market through the traders, but the great ortion is care fully selected for the manufacture of blaukets. After leing cleansed, card ed and dyed by a process known only to themselves, the wool is ready for the loom. The weavers are important person ages, and will only perform the labor of making the blanket, therefore the work of erecting the hogan. which con tains the loom, devolves uion the squaws. The hogan is made by plant ing six rough-hewn poles, about eight feet high, in the earth at regular inter vals, forming a full square. On top of these boughs of trees are placed to form a roof and shade from the burn ing rays of the sun. The center poles form the sides of the room, and about a foot from i he top and bottom cross poles, with holes bored through them for the warp, are securely fastened with rawhide throngs. The warp is made from the fibers of the yucca tree. It is treated in a man ner known only to those who prepare it and the secret will not be divulged to a white mau. therefore their blank ets can only be duplicated in quality and texture by themselves. Formerly these blankets were made solely for their own use. but since they were con quered by the Government and thrown aimost entirely upon their own re sources for a livelihood, the value of their blankets was impressed noon i their minds by traders aud has liecome tne leading luttustry. San Franctsco Cltronicie. A Narrow bsvape. ! A Who is that shabby looking man I I saw you talking to a while ago? B Thai's an old friend of nroe, a journalist, ami awful poor. It's lucky j he isn't married and got daughters, as i I might have '.een big fool, enough to ; marry oue of theiu. Tejsaa Sj'tJty A Terrible Ijom. "They say Mrs. Smith took on terri- bly at Smith's death." "Yes; poor thing! she could scarcely be reconciled to his loss." - "Did she get much insurance?" "No; it was a total loss. All his poticiet had lapsed." Jmlju. Wild Animals in Russia. Bears and wolves have become snh ' nuisance this winter in the V. - . T.. . .st . - - - . . . v. . s- .