The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, September 27, 1889, Image 1

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NO. 29.
LEBANON KDflK. NO. 44. A. t a k. M ! MU
M hall In VmD lUoek, on HaUnlnf
'"J tT80H. W. M.
UBAXOW t-OWIK, KO. 4T. I. O. O f x
Hum vMUof tw.Uirra ennUallt invited to
HONOR LOIMI KO. 3. A. O. U. W., Lb.non,
IIM: M.U 7 an and third T1ur.Llt-
ttua m vo nonuL .www... .
M. K. CHl'tCH.
Walton Bklpworth. paetorrrrles each Sun
day at 11 A. u. and 7 r. M. Suutisy School at 10
a. u. each Sunday.
rKiitRYTTRUN camcH.
0. W. Glbony. pator Services each Bunday
at 11 A. a. Banday (School 10 A. H. Bervtces
each Sunday nlicbt.
J. R. Klrkpatrlrk, pator--ervlees the Jnd
nd 4th Sandays at It A. M. and 7 r. M Sunday
H. hl eai-h ennrtav al 10 w.
Office over Flrt National Bank.
Will be In LeUnon the first week of every
month, second week in Sclo: third In
Stayton, and the fourth week in Jefferson
to perform all operation, apprrtuning to
Dentistry in a skillful manner.
Will practice In all Courts of the Sute.
Attorney at Law,
D . . RLAt aSfS.
Attorneys at Law.
Will practice In all the Courts of the Bute.
Prompt attention given to all business en
lr uUyl to our cre.
Offloe Odd fellow ' Temple. Albany. Or.
Collection, made, conveyancing and all No
tarial work done on short notice.
Graduate of the Royal College, of
London. England also of the Bellevue
Medical College.
of study and practice, and makes a spec
laity of chronic dlae, removes cancers,
scrofulous enlargement", tumors and wens
without pain or the knife. He also makes a
specialty of tieatment with .lectriclty. Has
practiced in the Ueruien. French and Kngli.h
hospitals. Calls promptly attended day or
night. His motui la. "good Will to AU."
Office and reaidence. rerry street, between
Third and Fourth. Albany, Oregon.
Transacts a General Mn Baste
Eichange sold on New York. San Francisco.
Portland and Albany, Oregon.
Collections made on favorable terms.
t, MYEK.
Buy and Be! Land,
Insure Property.
; Any Information la regard to the cheap
er land In the garden of Oregon furnished
It Covered Considerable Ground, Rat One
of ll.r Victim. Didn't Know It.
It eoms that the business of collect
In; subscriptions Is no exception to the
rule that there are tricks in every
trade. A man or woman with a gift
for the business may collect of the
same men at least iwlce as much as
another would. A little incident will
They were getting up a subscription
a little while ago for the Home for De
cayed Apple Women. There is no more
deserving institution, as every body
knows, than the Home for Decayed
Apple Women; and moreover, an In
fluential coterie of Back Bay women,
headed by Mrs. Charity Drummup,
had become Interested In the home,
and were pushing the subscription.
When Mrs. Charity Drummup sails
into a counting-room with a subscrip
tion paper in hex hand, the bankers
and men of busioess know perfectly
well that it is of no possible avail for
them to turn her a cold shoulder, un
less they are anxious to lone caste or
custom among the wealthy circle which
revolves around her.
Down town there are two solid men.
In business, one as a retailer in a large
way, and the other as a financier, who
are very eood friends. The financier
is mercurial, excitable, and passes for
a free-handed, generous sort of per
son. The merchant is phlegmatic and
slow, and has the reputation of being
ory shrewd and close in money mat
tors. Well when Mrs. Charity Drummup
came down In behalf of the Home for
Decayed Apple Women, she made one
of her calls upon the financier and
promptly showed him a paper, already
signed by at least a doze a bankers,
merchants and other wealthy men; and
upon this paper there was not a single
subscription for a less amount than
"You see what they're all doing,"
said Mrs. Charity Drummup, with an
engaging smile.
The financier gave a low whistle.
"Nothing but fifty dollar subscrip
tions, eh?" he said. "Well, I'm afraid
this is a little too steep lo"1 mo. You
are quite right, Mrs. Drummup, in as
suming that I should not care to lead
the break-off into smaller figures; but,
see here, is this the only paper you
have got, Mrs. Drummup?'1
The only one,' said the lady, with
a little confusion. "Why, this is the
subscription paper, sir."
"But is it the only one you have
Pressed foran answer, Mrs. Drumm
up produced from her reticule a pa
per, upon which there were several
25, 1 10 and even 5 subscriptions.
"Ah! this looks more like it," said
the financier. "You may put me down
there, if you please, for $25." And he
went down there, high up on the list
That night the financier and the mer
chant met at the club.
"Well," said the merchant, ';lid
you have a call from Mrs. Drummup
"Stuck you for 50, I suppose?"
"Oh, no; I only gave 25."
"What? Why, there wasn't a single
subscription on her list for loss than
"Not on the list she showed you, my
friend; but you should have culled for
her other paper."
He explained the scheme to the
close-fisted merchant, who became
fairly black in the face with chagrin.
He felt that he had been overreached;
and the financier, who seemed to have
come in for a share of his wrath, is of
the opinion that he did not sleep that
night, and that it was, indeed, several
days before h regained his usual
calm. Boston Transcript
Jfo Dare Care for Hie "Venom Known to
the Medical Fraternity.
Speaking of people bitten by rattle
snakes, Mr. J. IL Kitill, of tho Savan
nah News, says: "Out of a thousand
people bitten by rattlesnakes I do not
think a dozen recover. There is no
known cure, in spite of the fact that
manv dcodIo have said that thev wore
cured by whisky. You may depend on
it when a man says he was cured of a
rattlesnake bite, though necessarily
. . I .1. 1 f .n..
not a liar, ne is at toast ivuonng unuor
a misapprehension of the'acts. There
Is a small snake similar to a rattle
snake in appearance, whoe poison is
not so vesemous. ana negroes omen
by it place libe upon thus spot or less
drlnlf. enough whisky to coun
teract, tue poisuu. WniBKy ll
taken in a large quantity,
goes directly Into the blood
and counteracts the poison of the
snake. But the regular Georgia rat
tler, from five to seven feet in length,
is a deadly customer to meet It dooa
not give any warning but strikes the
moment it is disturbed, and it can
strike an object as far distant. as it is
long. A trlend of mine was riding
along in the'saddle one day and a big
rattler lying in the road leaped at him
as he passed. It closed to his boot
leg, driving one of its frangs clear
through the thick leather of his boot
and through his trousers, just escaping
the flesh. It required considerable
kicking to shake that snake off, and
when he was finally got rid of he
started in pursuit My friend faced
bullets In the army with nonchalance,
but his hair stood on end when he saw
that snake coming, and he jammed
spurs to his nag and didn't stop until
he had gone a quarter-stretch. My
plantation Is full a! -attlesnakes. and
only last week my hands killed twenty
six In a field of twenty acres."
of the Wise Saylnce of tb. Lamented!
The way to git ennything ix to ackt
just az tho yu did'nt kare whether yu
got It or not
It izaz difflkult to define a sickness
az it iz to ackount for the meazles.
It is dredful eazy for a man to dls
plze rltches who haz got about two
hundred and 50 thousand dollars well
If fortune haz enny favorites, it lz
not the lndifirent, but it iz thoze
whom we hav to pay to git rid ov their
Luv iz like the meazles; if we hav
really got them, they are sure to sho.
When a man iz puffed up with a
harmless kind ov pride that don't do
any hurt, it iz a krewel piece of blzz
ness to take the konsalt out ov him; it
iz az krewel az to pull the feathers out
ov a pekok s tale. "'
Every one who trades with the devil
expekta to git the best ov him, but I
never bav seen it did yet
v One reason why advise costs so little
U bekause every one haz sum of it to
We are so avarishus that even when
we trade with ourselfs we go for git
ting the best end ov the bargain.
My philosophical kreed lz "GIv a
bear the whole of the road If he will
take it"
(The harte lz a mlsterlous thing; we
kan almost allways find out what iz in
a man's bed, but the things that sleep
in the heart are often unknown even to
the possessor.
My sentimental kreed iz "Straw
berries and kream If they are handy;
if not, kream anyhow."
It may be dlffikult to decide which
men persew the most eagerly, interest
or fame.
Yu kan find men who will aumtimes
repent ov a sin, but seldum ov a blun
der. Thare iz nothing so natral az to lie,
and then dodge behind it
Mankind kan be divided into two
heaps, andj not wrong them mutch
a heap ov geese and a heap ov gan
ders. I observe more phools among the
oil men than i do among the old wim
mlm. I think I am honest when i say thare
iz no man who luvs to be praised more
than i do, or who hates to be flattered
I would rather watch two raskals
than one phool
ToknoAowto talk Is a grate art,
but to kno when lz a grater. .
The only sure way to keep a skeret
lz to forgot lt-K. Y. Weekly.
A scientist has discovered the ad
vantage of a dark skin as a veil against
tho heat In hot climates. The carboh
layer in the skin of the negro, boinj!
opaque, like other forms of carbon
must form an effectual veil, and thu
protect that most Important organ be
low tho true skin, a bodily envelope or
tissue presenting a vast surface of cir
culating blood, which Is certainly sub
ject to brilliant illumination when only
protected from sunlight oy the thin
translucent cuticle.
Old potatoes are wonderfully Im
proved in flavor and appearance by
having them pared and thrown into
cold water several hours before cook
ing. Then, if they are put into boiling
water and kept boiling till just "done
and then drained immediately, they
will be as wilta and "jnealy" as whes
first dug in the autumn. Rural Mew
What an Old flportsman Belated to an la
qui.ltlve Reporter.
"I have held my watch on several
kinds ot ducks and geese, but the main
part ot what I am going to tell you
comes from several old huntors who
have favored me with their experience,
and one of these old-timors in a letter
says: 'I can tell you just about to the
Ixty-tblrd part of a dot bow much
pace any one of them can get over in
an hour. There is not a railroad train
that can hold a candle to the side of
the slowest duck that files.1
. "The canvas-back can distance the
whole duck family, if it lays itself out
to do it ' When thU duck is taking
things easy.enjoylng a little run around
the block, as it were, it goes through
the air at the rate of abuut eighty
miles an hour. If It has business
somewhere and has to get there, It
puts two miles back of it every minute,
and does -it easily. If you don't be
lieve this, just fire square at the leader
In a string of canvas-bocks that are out
on a business cruise some time. Duck
shot travels pretty fast, but If you hap
pen to hit one! you see if it is not the
fifth or sixth one back of the drake or
leader. A drake does not always lead,
but it generally does If there 1b one In
the flock; If there are more they will
seldom take the lead. If you wish to
bring down the leader you must aim
at a space of at least eight feet ahead
of him, and If he falls you will find
him a long distance, probably two or
three squares off.
"The mallard la a slqw one; it is all
he can do to make a mile a minute,
but he can do it If be wants to. His
regular rate is about forty-five miles
an hour.
"The black duck is a slow coach.
He is about aa good as the mallard,
and. the fintall widgeon and wood duck
can not do raucli better. The red heau
can go easily, and make ninety miles
an hour as long as he likes, all day if
necessary. The blue-winged teal, and
its beautiful cousin, the green-winged
teal, can fly side by side for one hun
dred miles in an hour and take it easy.
"The gadwale, you see them here
very seldom, though well known
further West on the Allegheny river
and at Kishammock, though looking
like the mallard is a smarter duck and
harder to shoot It can make ninety
miles in an hour and not try hard.
"May be you may think a goose cant
fly. Why, it can double the speed of
the fastest trains on any of our rail
roads. Of course 1 mean a wild goose.
Well, it has a big corporation, but it
can get from feeding ground to feeding
ground so suddenly that it fools our
best wing shots.
"If you see a flock of honkers mov
ing along so high up that they seem to
be scraping the sky with their backs,
you would not think that they are
making close on a hundred miles an
hour, but they are. The wild goose is
not much on foot, but it 'means lousi
ness every time.
"Tho broad-bill goose comes next to
the canvas bock duck in speed. Put
the two together and in an hour the
broad-bill would not be more than ten
miles behind." Wilmington (Del)
Reflections and Reveries of a Wise Poet
Philosopher, The age of great men la going; the
epoch of the ant-hill, of life in multi
plicity, is beginning. The century of
Individualism, if abstract equality tri
umphs, runs a great risk of seeing no
more true Individuals. By continual
leveling and division of labor, society
will become every thing and man noth
ing. As the floor of valleys Is raised
by the denudation and washing down
of the mountains, what is average will
rise at the expense ot what is great
The exceptional will disappear. A
plateau with fewer and fewer undula
tions, without contrasts and without
oppositions such will be the aspect
of human society. Tho statistician
will register a growing progress,
and the moralist a gradual de
cline; on the one hand, a progress
of things; on the other, a decline of
souls. 'I he useful( will take the place
of the beautiful. Industry of art polit
ical economy of religion, and arithme
tic of poetry. The spleen will become
the malady of a leveling age. Is this
Indeid the fate reservedfor the dem
ocrats era? May not" the general
well-being be purchased too dearly at
such a price? The , creative force
wblohjn the beginning we iiee forever
tending to produce i.nd nfitltlply dlf
foresees, wllUt afterward retraoe its
steps and obVato them o ..
'--' V-a-
uuu mjuniuy, wiiiua in tne dawn of ex
istence Is mere inertia, torpor, and
death, Is It to become at last the
natural form of life? Or rather, above
the economio and political eaual
ity to which the socialist and non
soclullst democracy aspires, taking it
top often for the terra of its efforts,
will there not arise a new kingdom of
mind, a church of refuge, a republic
of souls, in which, far beyond the
region of mere right and sordid utility,
beauty, devotion, holiness, heroism,
enthusiasm, the extraordinary, the In
finite, shall have a worship and an
abiding city? Utilitarian materialism,
barren well-being, the Idolatry of the
flesh and of the "I," of the temporal
and of Mammon, tiro they to be the
goal of our efforts, the final ' recom
pense promised to the laboi's-fif our "'"
race? I do not believe it The Ideal .
of humanity is something different and
higher. But the animal in us must be -satisfied
first; we must first banish
from among us all buffering which has
its origin in social arrangements, be
fore we can return to spiritual goods.
From Amlel's. JournaL
The Newspaper Man as the Unrivaled
Holder of Publlo Opinion.
The famous writers of our time are
not those who have made speeches in
Congress; or suppled "Bquared and
compassed" articles for the great
monthlies. The potent writer of to
day, and he who governs and directs
the thinking and thus the law-making
of the country as molded by popular
opinion, is the newspaper man. No
magazine writer or editor has ever
wielded the power of Greeley, of
Dana, William Cull n Bryant, or Wat-'
terson, or Curtis, or Halstead. Tho
restraint put upon a fecund newspaper
writer by rules of essayists and of the
magazines constrains invention, sup
presses vital force. A writer who
thinks rapidly and earnestly finds the
fires of genius burning low wbenh-"
begins the tedious task of fillinen '
or twenty pages of a msazlne.
Thirty years ago the adjir3ie liter
ature of the country jvs bully in tho .,
magazines. For ts tasteful and
beautiful and orrite. cultured taste
then sought boot and periodicals,
like the Orion and he Southern Liter
ary Messenger. To-day one may find
as admirable specimens of faultless
rhetoric in daily papers, and especial
ly in their special editions, as in
choicest , books and most ornate
monthly publications.
In fact the purely literary and philo
sophical monthlies are giving way be
fore the pressure and power of the
great newspapers, whose best editions
are veritable magazines of choicest lit
erature. The restraint put upon arti
cles of genius, full of force and inspira
tion, and rv&dy at moment's notice to
HiaoilK rv fnnrni vnht i,Vtl..-t wl.ltr
and tastefully, by the straight-la;ed
restrains its forces and stills fancy to
tremulous repose. No wonder that the
fierce, earnest logic and vigorous sen
tences of Horace Greeley refused tp air
themselves in tho covered vehicle of
thought and eloquence in which the
npnt. nnd tlrlv flnH .nhnlui.1v t1!tnia
teurs" of Boston aired the delicate
children of their genius. The writer
of the soft, sweet history of the Dutoh
Republic could never have figured in
that partisan prize-ring in which Dana
is a "slugger" and Watterson a most
graceful and dangerous aorobat But
the men governing the thinking of
mankind to-day are the groat journal
ists, and not the magazinlsts of tha
age and century.
There is no American Macaulay or
Jeffries or Christopher North, and
there will never be. The newspaper
has supplanted the magazine. I T.
Dupre, In Birmingham (Ala.) News.
A waiter at the Metropolitan Hotel
on Washington street says there is a
rat of unusual Intelligence which haunts
the hotel kitchen, and, when occasion
offers, steals food from the cook. Ha
says this rat ought to be caught and
exhibited as a marvel at the dime mu
seums. Several stories of precocity
are told about this rodent, of which the
following is one: "A few evenings
ago," said the waiter, "I.hiul occasion
to go down Into tha kitchen. It was
dusky when I arrived, and as soon as
my eyes would permit me to get used
to the light I saw a large rat walk de
liberately up to a dish of doughnut
and begin to take them out one by oue
and string them on to bis tail, as you
would string beads. Wien he had puf
on five and loaded 1 ' U all uo. w
turned around, took t
between Wseth,
i li.t . wer i