mum aeaaaiiiJIIiij.iifiillai'uaWaViii'tae, . V iV'.vivJ '-.-. 'Witt " - Aim -. I HE LEBANON PRESS, VOL. III. LEBANON, OREGON, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 1880. NO. 26. EX SOCIETY NOTICHiH. LEBANON MlIMIK, NO. 44, A. V k A. M : MU I thxir now hull In Muxnilo lllick, un Hittiiru.y (waning, on iir iwrorn mm Mil moon. .1 WAHHON, W. M LKIIANnN l,fll)flH, NO. 47, I. . O. P.: Mil Hut tiriiuy iivtAilnii nf (nuih wwk, at Odd Fvllnw'ii Hull, Miifii ntr.iH: vliiltlt.g SrwUnitti midlully Invited to Mt.ml. J. J. (IIIAIttTON, N (t, HONOR UHKIK NO. 38, A. O. t. W.( Muniin, Orffoti. Alexin iry Imt iohI third I liui-Mdiiy mn- liiia In tlie month. K. II. HoHIMiK. M W. "RELIUIOUS NOl'lCHiS." M. K. i:iiiiiii:ii. Walton Kklpworth. lunitor Service i'hi'Ii Hull' liny Ht It A. M. iiinl 7 P. si. Huntliiy Heboid hi IU a. m. rami mimiiiy, I'llKMBYTKBIAN Clll'ltCII. fl. W. (Ilimnv, jiiiKtor rvli'Mi eHoh Sunday at II A. M. Hl'llKlliy School 10 a, M. Hurvlitiw each Sunday iilirht. CtlMIIKHLANI) I'KKKHVTKItlAH t.'llltlll.'ll. J, It. Klrkpiitrlok, pmtnr--Mi'rvle.on tlin 2nd kiiii 4tii smiiuh.vk in ii a. m. Him p.m. runway Hl'lllllll Vlll'll SIIIHlltV lit 10 A. K. WEATHERFORD, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Ofllee over First Nulinnul Iliinli. A Ml A NY .... OHIOX DR. FRANK R. BALLARD, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Oltl l.KKAlO i at Residence, OKI-4.0 L. H. MONTANYE, ATTORNEY AT LAW AND TVO'IVVIfcY JIJ1IIC ALII4NV, OKKUOX. Will practice in all Court of tlie Slate, W. R. BILYElf, Attorney at "Law, AI.HAW. OICF.UO. 11 R, N. Ull 'KUtlKX. OKI), W. W IOIIIIT. BLACKBURN & WRICHT, Attorneys at Law. Will pructlre in all the Courts of the Hlnte. I'mniiit tliitioii Kivcn to ull LiimIiichh en trtuiU'il to our ..hio. Ollleu Odd I'ullow'ii Temple, Albany, Or. O. P. COSHOW & SONS, HEAL 13STATE AMD INSURANCE Ml 1,'V'IV J H, CoUt-otlnim made, conveyancing and all No- t.iniil win k done ou Hiiurt uotioe. SPECIAL NOTICE. J)K. V. J. JVIjXjJIJK, Graduate of the Royal College, of London, England also of the Bellevue Medical College. THE DO'TOK HAS 8PKNT A MKKTIMK .1 of study ami practice, and makes u spec ialty el uliromc (IlKcHses. removes canoeis, scrofulous eiiliK"iiienls, tumors mm weiin, wllluml pain or the knlle. tie also makes a snecmlly nf tieiitniont with rleetriolly. Hus practiced ill the Oermtrii. Krenoh mid KiikIihIi liosiillulH. Culls promptly attended day or uiKht. II ih motto is. "kooiI Will to All.' Ollleu anil remdonce. Kerry struet, between Third anu roiirth, Albany, Uiegon. J. I.. COWAN. J. M. RAl.KI'ON. BANK OF LEBANON, LEBANON, OREGON. Transacts a General Banking Busiiicr TO Kxohange sold on New York, San Kranoisep, Portluml and Alliany, OieKoo. ColloutioiiH made ou favorable termii. J. MYKKH. K. 8IIKI.TON. SCIO LAND CO, SCIO, ORECON. Buy and S6oi Land, , ' IOA.IV MONEY AND Insure Property, NOTARY PUBLIC. Any Information la regard to the cheap er Land in the garden of Oregon f uniislied There was to be a balloon usceusiou in a Connecticut town, and the professor bad of fared to lt uny one accompany him ou his trip to the clouds who bad the uerve to go. A young fanner about SO years old stepped forward um n rundiduto, but while the crowd was cheering him a voice culled out: "Hey, lllll! I want to apeak to you a nAiit." It whs bin father, and leading blm to the outhkiptH of tlio crowd bo halted and asked: "Hill, d'ye know what ye ar' doin'f" "I'm u-goiit' up in thut bulloon, dud." "Expect to git down alive?" "I den." "Wall, ye never will!" "Why!" "Wbt'ii you left home tblsnioniiif you had Ixty ct'iiiH in cash. 1 wuuted ye to leave it hointi, but. you wouldn't." "I've got it yit, dud, a lackln' throe cents gone fur K'muitM." " Yes, I s'pose no, atid that purfessor know it. Tbot'i why he's encouragiu' you to go. When you git up tliur' among the clouds be'i goin' to rob ye." "Hhool dadl I'd have blm took up when I got down." "Not much, Bill. Arter be rotm ye he'll throw ye overboard, and un who ar' lookin' up win mt ye come suilin' down like an old gander nkiminin' over a how pond. Ya'll triko aonu'wlmr' over in Shwniard'a pastur lot, und ye'll go into the ille about eighteen leot aiore ye tiring up." "Ilonmt Injun, dadT "Hill, did I ever lie to yef I uiay be able to llsii ii 1 1 one o yer tuunk bont to tuke bouie, and wheu 1 hand it to mother and tell her that 'Hall that's lt;ft of William Aekford Mows Ucbeuiorhorn, what's sbo goin' to my and bow hIiii'm ireiu' to f.l!" "Shall 1 baek water, dadf" , "I would, Hill I aartinly would. I know it would be suntbiu' to brag of if ye got down alive, but ye never would." "If I back wator kin I pend thetn fifty- even contHP' "Wall, inontly, but not quit all. B'posen ye buy arokui-nnt aud a ciwtr, and I'll kinder bcl eat and Binoke ac we jog alone home, and nave the rest for a rainy day. Times it goin' to be awful bard thin fall, ilill." 1 ea, I guei Wall, it s a go, dad. aud you jit don't worry no more. You kin go back aud watch the balloon, and I'll kinder aige around to'rds a grocery. I've bin taxtin' eokermit for the last live amiiu." 'ew York Bun. How A iMnrHiice. Deceive; A portly citizen left a Woodward avenue car at UigU street between showers vester- duy, but ws hardly on the sidewalk befori bo beguu yelling and beckoning at the ear. It s agui oi dur8 to stop exceut at cross ings," observed a paiwt-uger on the rear plat form, 08 the conductor reached up to tbe bell roio. " 1 in, but be bus probubly forgotten some thing." Well, let him get it when the car come down. J have no piitteuce with forgetful men.' "I guess I'll stop, anyhow." "It's u shame to do it." Tlie car was stoppod und tlio inau came running uud pulling to cull out: "Left my f. ailk umbrella in the car." "X'ftw Mini Imrn if id I iviiu L.u, It- -lb IB IWI you 1" replied the individual who bad opposed a stop. 1'biinks. You are an houwxt inau. If tliere were nicire men like you this would lie a better world to live itt, Hure have cigar." Detroit Free Press. He Hud the OimlificaUom Pater Well, my son, you are graduated, and are now prepared to go west and tight tlio Indians. Do you think you bave the uecossnry qualifications? West Pointer Well, I should think so. I am tbe champion long distance runuer of our cIum. Life. A Scheme fur tlie Poulterer. I see it stated that one female salmon will produce 20,000,01X1 eggs in a seasou. See here; is there no way known to science of crossing the land locked sulnion with tlio common hen of eommerco? Tlio stupidity, or laziness, or malicious obstinacy of the ben Ls a weariness to the flesh. Now, I have one of tbe best plants for a good egg factory you ever suw, ou a small scale; I have all the raw material for producing eggs, but the mills are not running on half time; uo, not on quarter time. And this right at a time when tbe de mand is something unprecedented; when, ac cording to all the wise writers on iudustriul matters, tliouinrket is just booming and ev ery right thinking ben would run away past ber contract mid work over hours to meet the demand and keep up the boom. But uo, she deliberately limits the production, fis thong be bod no more a conscience tliau a coal baron. But this salmon business has a cheering sound. If something in the way of iu and in breeding could only bo accom plished, giving us an improved ben with web fuet, so that she couldn't scratch, aud a ''val uing capacity of say two ddzeu eggs a day with a nleusaiit Lenten flavor say, thut would be better than Standard oil.- - AN ENGLISH REPORTER. Geo. Pryor Tells a Story Wblch GiplaiM Him Exactly. Gen. Pryor tells an amusing story. When be was in England defending tbe Irish patri ots be was quite desirous of spreading bis views before tbe British public. It is much border to get at an English editor tbat at an American, but finally communications were established, and one evening there was a sub dued knock at the door of his room in bis hotel "Come in," said Gen, Pryor. The door opened about six inches, and through the aperture sidled a dilapidated specimen of flunmnity. Softly clonlcg the door the di lapidated specimen put bis dilapidated bat on the floor, and, bowing humbly, uttered: "Gen. Pryor, I believe." "Yes, I am Gen. Pryor; what can I do for you?" "Iam a repoiter, sir, and 1 was sent to ask yon if you would givo your views on the American as pect of tbe Irish quest ion T Everybody who knows Gen. Pryor well knows that be is one of tbe most affable of men, and in thin cane he meant to be particu larly pleasant, for he wanted to be inter viewed. But forgetting that ha was not in New York, lie followijd tbe usual practice of statcsmon in this country, and began with, "My deur fellow, 1 really haven't anything to say." intending this, of course, as a pre- luue to a long conversation. H bat was astonishment when the specimen grabbed bit bat, genuflected still more humbly than be fore, ejnculuted, "Thank you, sir; thank you, sir." aud disappeared To bave a re porter give up the struggle so quickly so sur prised the general that be really sat in chair paralyzed for the moment, and before be could recover the Englishman had gone, and the interview was lost New York Sua Where lie Drew the Line.- "Your name, I believe, is FIubsonT Tbe frank, unembarrassed, yet respectful munuor of tlie youug man impressed tbe merchant favorably, and be replied, as ht motioned the caller to a seat: "Tbat is my name." "I beg pardon for obtruding upon yon in business hours. I presume you do not re member ma" "No, sir." "I dare say I was too young when you saw me last to make it possible that my face would strike you as familiar now. My name ISlllUgg." "Chuggr echoed tbe merchant "Why, I once bad a relative of tbat name Mrs. Nancy Cbugg. "Yes, sir. She is alive yet. She is my mother. 1 bave often beard her speak of you." "And your first name ign ' " "Jenkinsou." i am giua to see you, here Is your home now r "We live in Nebraska." "Well, bow has the world used you J" ' I can't ci ipluiu. I travel for a New York bouse at u fair salary. At this mo tueut, however, I Hud myself temporarily embarrassed tin iieeount of not having re ceived expected remittances from tbe firm. In fact, 1 have taken the liberty, as a rela tive, to call upon you partly for tbe purpose of asking for a louu of, say, J25 to tide me over this wee." "Why, as to that, Jeukinson, I am sorry to suy "Make it fr. Mr. Hubson, and I'll try to get along." "Your mother, Mr. Cbugg, is my second cousin. You are my third cousin. For pur poses or acquaintance 1 recognize the rela tionship, tint in the matter of lending money I am compelled to draw tbe line somewhere. and my rule is to draw it at third cousins. Good morning, Mr. Cbugg." Chicago Trib une. An A pplloutlon. Parson White Ho w'd yo' like de sermon on "Charity" dis niornin', deacon! Deacon, liardscrapple Dat was t worry touehin' sariuou, parson. Kin yo' lend me r dollar JLil'e. vriiKie cor.ins- vroROrou Talent. Dining one evening with VVilkie Col lins, he spoke of the difficulty of imagin ing a place or character which had not its original in real life. After he had described the house in "Armadale," a gentleman called upon him and upbraid ed him for putting his residence into print. The description was exact, al though VVilkie Collins had never seen the place. He invented a man who was bo careful about his food that he weighed it in little scales at table. A gentleman wns introduced to Mr. Collins and said: "You had no right, sir, to caricature me. weigh my food in little scales, sirl Ilere they ure, sir! I always carry thein about with me by advice of my physi cians. But is that any reason why I should be held up to ridicule, sir?" In vain Mr. Collins protested that he had never before heard of such a habit. New York Metropolis. PECULIARITIES OF BABY. AH Sorts of Funny thine Found In Infant , Humanity. In the course of a lecture delivered In New York the other day, a distin guished female physician said that the inability of a baby to hold up its head was not due to the weakness of the neck, but to the lack of development of its will power. The act of standing was instinctive and initiative, while facial expressions and gesture were due almost wholly to imitation. A baby's smile, she said, was the most misunderstood thin? in infancy, A real smile must have an idea behind It, but the expression resembling a smile, which is so often seen on a very young baby's face, was without an idea and was due to the easy condition of the stomach or to some other phys ical satisfaction. The smilo with an ideL does not appear earlier than the fourth week. So, too. with the crying of a baby. The contortion of the feat- ures is due to physical causes. The baby sheds no tears, because the lach rymal glands are not developed for several weeks after birth. The chief pleasure of all children is to change from one position to another by their own efforts. This Is the beginning of the development of the will power, and is often attested in what has been called the "imperative intention of tears." This is not disclosed until after the eecond or third month. A baby tests every thing by its mouth, its sense of taste being the surest and most reliable guide it has. The attention of all young children is difficult to attract, and they must attain considerable age before they begin to notice. Then colors and sounds are most potential Fear is known to be manifested by a baby only three weeks old, and in all cases the sensation ia produced by sound more "than by sight Children of luxurious and carefully guarded homes are most wholly without fear, but the children of poor and exposed parents alwavs manifest it Jealousy and sympathy begin to manifest themselves In the second year. Curiosity also begins to develop here, and proves to be a 6elf-feeder throughout childhood. A little later the ego begins to appear, and the baby has the best consciousness of itself. Ihu ego first appears as a muscular sense, and the infant gradually learns to distinguish itself from surrounding objects. H is first the hand that is distinguished and then the foot, and Gnally the whole body. Memory does not appear before the child is two years of age. All the reasoning of children is primitive and elementary and develops slowly. Darwin noticed an assochtion of ideas in tbe mind of his child when, it was only five months of age. The lecturer related experi ences of babies with the first view of mirrors, and showed that their actions under the new conditions were similar to those of anthropoid apes and dogs under like conditions. St Louis Re public. A Feflow Feeling. "Is it another applicant for charity?" ask ed the father of tbe family un patiently, look ing up from bis newspuper. "Send ber away." "It'a a poor woman," said the servant, "whose little boy has got lost or been stolen. She has speut all she bad in trying to find him." "Don't send ber away, Williams," said tbe eldest .daughter reprovingly. "Don't you re member, papa, bow we felt when darling little r ido here was lost for a whole day, and how gladly we gave $50 to have bun brought back lieres twenty-five cents, Williams. Give it to the poor woman." Chicago Tri bune Why Ills Paper Waa "Stopped." I happened to be in the office of The Mer can tile Review and Uve Stock Journal ou Wednesday last iu time to hear one of the best reasons ever given for stopping a news paper. A German boy entered, removed bi5 hat and asked: "Is Mr. Vepsder in" "He is, replied Charles H. Webster, looking up from a mass of tissue live stock reuorts which be was winnowing. "Veil, Mister Bitters dou't vaut to tuke dot paber no more. He i vos dedt last nide alretty . " The name of tbe late Mr. Bitters, a cattle dealer, was duly erased from tbe delivery sheet. -Buffalo i Truth. That Settled It. "That settles it," said a prisoner whom his honor sentenced to the workhouse for sixtv ays the other morning. 'isettles what'' asked the officer to whom the remark wus addressed. I have been troubled hi my mind whether to go down to Long Branch or up to Macki nac this summer Now 1 won't have to go to either." lietroit Free Press. Seasonable Information. First Omahdii One must look out for hy drophobia this hot weather. Do you know how to tell a mad dog Second Omohttti if I had anything io tell a tnad dog 1 should do it by telephon.- Nut That Way. The Good Man (sadly) Ah, my son, you bave been to the circus; it pains me greatly to think that one so young should have crossed the threshold of iniquity. The Bad Small Boy I didn't croea no threshold; I crawled in tinder the tent, Munsey'a Weekly. He Was an Old Man, but Lively One. We wi a sitting in front of Davidson's gro cery one summer afternoon, when some ona observed that "Old Taylor" was coining. He was a dried up, little old man, who .might have been anywhere from 50 to 100 years bid, and he had a voice to remind you of broken glass rattling in a tin an. ;'Now, boys," said tbe village shoemaker, who was about 45 years old, and weighed 17S pounds, "I'll show you some fun. I'm going to scare old Taylor half to death." Tbe old man drove up before any explana tions could be sought, and after hitching bit old plug be stood for a minute to wipe th dust off bis ancient plug bat with his elbow. The shoemaker took advantage of this to ad vance and say: "Uncle Taylpr, it is over twenty years ac that I sold you a pair of boots on tick. They have never been paid for yet." "Tbeydidn t fit, and they never will be paid furl" hotly replied the old man. I have waited and waited," continued thi cobbler, "but my patience is finally exhaust ed. You must now par r"e or I'll take it out of your bide." - ' - "Goin' to lick me, hey 1" shouted Uncle Tay lor, as he-drew back a step. "I II bave to," answered the creditor. "Then pitch right in!" "Will you pay(" "No, sirl" . "Uncle Taylor, I hate to break you in two. but if you don't pay that old debt III" - "Then come on!" squealed the old man, and with that he swung and caught the shoemaker ou the -jaw and laid him out. He followed it up by piling ou, and he kicked, bit, scratched and pounded so vitrorouslv that inside of three minutes the cobbler was shouting to ui to take him off. Ho was a licked man. In stead of having fun with the old man, th old man bad made a circus of him. We hauled hiiuiuto tbe shade of a sugar hogshead mid fanned him with a hut, and after about ten minutes be faintly remarked: ' "Boys, was I licked?" "Right from the mark," we answered. "And by Old Taylor alonef ' "Yes." "Well, that shows how a man can be mis taken." be signed. "For over twenty years I have fondly li-ured that I could lick tbat-old cups with my eyvs shut aud both handri .tied behind me, andiow bo does me up in a fk'ht of my ovyn picking and with ull my tackle clearl Pieaso leave me alone for a while. boys. My head swims and my bodv aches. and I want to reason it out uud Hud some ex cuse for making a fool of mvself." New York Kun. An Ingenious Scheme. We onco asked a St. Louis Iwolcseller whether he ever got hold of any first editions. Uli, yes. I ve got a lot of them stored uwuy in my Chestnut street lodgings," said he, "but nobody seems to want them. When I used to offer them for sale customers would say: 'No, you can't ring in any old truck on us; we must have the latest editions with all tbe modern improvements." If, at the big second band book store in Milwaukee, you inquire for first editions, the proprietor gives you a candle and sends you. down into the cellar to tumble over a creat heap of booka, " There's no demand for them here," he says, ruefully, "and I'll be triad to get shet of 'onmt ulmost any price." . A funny experience was that which we once bad in boston. Going into the- fata comb like book shop under the Old South church, we asked the venerable proprietor if he had any ouaup'books. Yes,' says he, "we've got a thousand or fifteen hundred of 'em, but they're all boxed up and stowed away." "Boxed upujid stowed away!" we cried iu astonishment "What under the sun did vou box 'em up aud stow 'em away forf" - "Why, s .id. .the venerable old man, guile lessly, "we'ro goin" to hold 'em till they get vaiuapiei" i,ugena r-ield m Chicago News, , A Real Helpmeet. "There's nothing like having a wife who ii a real helpmeet," said Mr. Stowaway. "You re right," said Mr. Sassicty. "Look at Simpkius, now. What would be be with out his wife! IIo's just as dependent ou her as ho can be." "Is that so r. "Yes, just as' dependent as he can be, Thev aay that when he takes a pill she always swal lowsaglassof water to help bun get it down." - jwewistou journal. Poor Fire JJepurtment In India. Returned Tourist You wouldn't believe half tho wonderful things thut 1 could tell you about India. Why, in some of the tem ples of tho Bruhmiiis they have fires that have been burning 3,(100 years. Chicago Mini-(ireat t-cott! they omht ta ' have our fire department there for a few if ! " I. il f : tt - if .' t ; J ' I V minutes. New York Tr ith.