The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, July 05, 1889, Image 1

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    ;. S - ...
NO. 17.
LIMA HON LOTKIK, MO. 44, A. P A M : Mmla
at Uiulr now hull tn Muutilo Hlook, on Saturday
raiuii, on or uulor. Ilia lull iinwn.
LIRA HON LOIK1K, NO, 47, I. O. O r. Miwta Hut-
unU .(tiiiiK of M'lli . at hld Knllnwt 1U1I,
Mitln Mreol; (kiting ki.tliroii miiilliilly Invltad to
auaua. i. a. umaiu.tuh, n, u,
HONOR LOIKIK NO, M. A ft. V. W Lobanon,
Oraaou: Mmitu tiry Unit .nil lliiril ThunuUr even
tny lu uie manui. r. n. ihiouiu. b. n ,
Walton Hklnworth. imntur-tiervlces wb Hun
day at 11 a. m. ami 7 r. u. Sunday School at 10
A. U. MU1U SHIMlay.
0, W. (llbony, paatnr-flervlcea each Sunday
at 11 a. a. Hnnday School 10 A. M. Bervloe
each Htwday ulRht.
J. K. Kirkpatrlrk, pantof--HflrvleeA the 2nd
and 4t)i Humlaya at 11 a. h. and 7 r. m. Kuuday
School eacn Sunday at 10 a. m.
Orepnian Railway Co. JLimitcflJ Line.
O. M. SOOTT, Receiver.
Take KftVrt Kebraary IN. IHH9
I O'tierk. !. m.
Between Portland and Ooburft- 123Mllee
11 .HO mm
4:16 p. m
K:M ji.m
H::i7 p.m
W:U p.m
lv.l'ortlaiid(H.4 W.V.) ar
. .Hllverton
Wi'Hl Seta
ar ( iilmrn.. . lv
4 40 p 111
11:110 urn
S:'H a.m
7:.'ll t in
4:11 am
Foot of Julfhrann Htreet,
11:: am
2:41 p.m
4 Mip .lu
7:00 p.m
Iv.l'ortlaudfF.i W. V.).ar
Hhcridau.. .
Italian .
MciiiiniMiIb ......
ar Alrlle., lv
4 40 li in
iu :4 V a. in
fl:fft h ?n
ConnniilMtldn ticket at two vonu pur mllu ou
aai at hihiiihii iihviiix airiiim,
t'.olllllH'tllMl lit it'll ltuy'a and Knliiart
Ijiiiillnvii inuilr with utt.'MiiKir "(;lty of Halnm.'
Tlckt'U for any tiolnt mi tlila lino for Kal at
Die (InlU'd CnrriuKO and Hhukurh 'J'raiikfi-r
Clomtmny ollii:i;, MimmiikI and run! HtrwtR, and
1'. & W. V. Ity. OIIU- and depot, foot of Jefler-
aou Ktrcuu I'oriiauil, uri'Kou
CHAH. N.8COTT. Heoelvur O. Rjr. Co. OA.)
Uiiu, I'urtlanu, urutenn,
F. I). McCAIN. Train DiHpatulier. Dundee
Junotion. (Jremi.
J. McOUlltK. riupt.0. Ky.Co. (1x1.) Line. Dun-
aen J unullon.
Oennral OIKam, N. W. Comer First and I'lne
Streuta, i'urUund, Urutfoiu
Oct De7elopieat Ci nranys steamstiip Line.
tti Mhertrr. ' llvnrx Time
Than by any other Hout.
Flrttt tTittm TIii-ouk1 PamtenBr untl
Freight LIiib
from Cortland and all pnliitt In the VVIIfHinctte
Valley to and from Sun Kmueivo, cl
TIME HCIIKDI'I.t, (Kxeept MiiihIhvx.,
Lr Albany 1 in p. in .
l.v (;artHllin I HI 1' in.
Ar Vitiation '"f ji.iu.
l.v CorviilliK IU :! a in
Ar Allmny II in ii. m.
), 6i ('. trnl mh ciui iii-i t at Albany mill t'oniilllii.
The above tralim I'onneetat VaiiiiiiM witli Hie
tlrt'ifiMi lievelopinetil Compiiiiy'H liueof Mi'hih
KlilpN betvvveii S uiUlli mill hall KriinelNVo
H'llln tie Vnlb'
Wiliuni. tie Villi.
Milla IU- Villi"
I mux N, K.
fin l.UJI IM
Julie 1,
.linn- :.
May IU.
May 'JR.
June A,
TIiIh pun v ri'iierveK the nulii lo i-loniKe
lalliuit UMie witlioul noliee.
I'aMieUKei'" from I'ortlHiid and all WIIIhiiicUc
tallei 'piiluid can niHke ehue coiineeilon wltb
tile tiaiiiH of tliu VHiUlna mule al Allmiivor
CurvalllH, anil If ileHllnfl lo Hun I-'rauelauo
ahoulil arruiiKc In arrive nt YaiUiiui llicerve
nlliK iHiioru the lime of tiHllliiK
I'liMMfniier and Frrlffhl Knli-n
Alu the l.mvcMl.
Kui lull. filiation itpply to
t:. . IIOt.l. K,
Ant'K dell. K. A I'. A!t.
t).1', it. 11. II. Co.,
lien'l Kr'l & 1'ii.ih, Axl.
OrvKon Devel (uu'iit ( u
'M MoiitMoineryHI.,
Bun Kriiiii.'liM'o, ('ill.
Willamette Riyer Line of Steamers.
Tho"Wj. M. HilAtl," the " N. S. HKM'I.Y,"
Tbti "TllkKK HIKTKRS."
Are lu nervlre for bulb piism'iip'r anil fri'lt,'lil
trarlli' liettteeii Curmllnt ami I'lirllnuil and In
Vernu'diiili! iiiiliilx, Ii'uvIiik l inn .nu y n wharf,
Cl.rVMlllx. ini'l Mewo'K. Ilulinir.i it Co.'h wliHlf,
Nn. Hud '.WJ Tjoiit strut, I'urtlaiid, Mon
ilayK, Weilui'nilnyH mid 1'rlua.iH, uink iiiK III no
loniul trlpb eui'h week ii follonn :
Mm I ii iiiiumi.
lve CorvalliM MimiiIhv, Weilnembiy, Friday,
6 u. in.; leav Albany a. in.
Arrive haluin, Monday , iW-iliiemliiy, Friday, 3
p. in.: leave, tiuleiu, TucKtluy, Thumilay, iSatur
uay,8a. m.
Arrivo I'nrtliiiitl, TitViiday. Tburmlay, Katur
duy, 8:30 p. in.
NOt'TH hoi: Nil.
Leave Portland, Munday, edneailay, Friday,
6 a. in.
Arrive Hnlom, Monday, Wulneiiday, Friday.
7:1.1 p. m.; leavu Kaliini, TucHday, Tbumday, Hat
uidiiy.Un. m. loave Albany 1::0 p. m.
Arrive Ourvuhiii Tuuadny, Tburailay, fcatinday
S:30 p. m.
All kind of legal papers drawn accurately
and neatly. Any work lntruatiid to my care
will receive prompt and careful attentiou,
Collentlnui a dpecialty. ttele. Itlno Couu-
I L MeClnr
(Buocemor to C. H. Harmon.)
iioolng In the latent and lawt Htfle. Hnmtia
atUiutiou paid to (IremiliiK IJidleii' hair. Your
patrouaxe reapevtiuuy aoiiciieu.
i'ropriotora of the
Livery.Sale and Red Slatiles
Moutlieaat Corner of Main and Hlieriuau.
Fine Buggies, Hacks.Har-
ness and
For jmrtii'H goinjf lo Brownnville, VVa
terloo, hwepj Home, Scio, and all
parlM of Linn County.
All kinds of Teaming
'Say, poliuetnan," hehaid. excited
ly, "why don't you arrest those two mon
Thuy have boon talking loudly and
threaten lo hummer eaeh other into a
jelly for the lanthalf hour." -O, don't
you worry about them, said 1he offi
cer, "they won't do any thin? but talk.
They are professional prize tio-hters."
"I never play at another man's
game," suid the president of a finan
cially uncertain insurance company to
a traveling man ou the train. "'J hut
is niitunil.'' "What makes ynu think
so?" Because it would tuke time from
your business of inducing oilier men to
play at your game. Merchant Iruv-
On a street cur the other dny the
passengers included two young ladies,
one of whom had returned within afew
days from a trip abroad, and did not
propose to have the fact unknown.
Proud of the distinction of having vis
ited foreign scenes, she regit led her
companion with her experiences. Th
friend remarking the returned travel
er's hoarseness, said: "You have a se
vere cold, haven't you?" "O, yes,"
responded the other, with the con
sciousness of enjoying a superior dis
tinction, uulike the plebeian New En
gland affliction, "I Imported that from
Germany." Boston Budget.
The Way a Wx.tern Man Nat Down ea a
Vt hallo Captain.
We had been in New Bed ford ten or
twelve days, and had selected our par
ticular sea captain and listened to half
a dozen of his yarns without betraying
the slightest evidence of doubt of any
statement, when a stranger from the
far West arrived and rather forced hU
presence upon our coterie. We were
on the back veranda of the hotel, five
or six of ns and the old whaler, and
the latter had just started in on a story,
when the Westerner came out of the
smoking room and drew up a chair.
Now go ahead. Captain," he
brusquely observed, as he lighted a
fresh clg:ir.
"Well, gents," began the captain,
after an uneasy loo.' around. "I was
going to tell you about a whale as"
"What species of whale?" inter
rupted the stranger. "There are sev
eral species, you know, and you had
better designate."
"A right whale, sir."
"Oh! That's all right; go ahead."
Ve were lying to and drifting while
trying out a fish captured the day be
fore, and the wind was from "
"Was this on Luke Erie or the At
lantic Ocean?" put in the stranger.
"On the Atlantic, of course."
"Then I am with you. 1 didn't know
but you were whaling on the lakes.
Better locate the spot a little closer,
"It was off the coast of Brazil, " re
plied the mipliiin, in an indignant voice.
"That will do. but it is a long coast.
Go ahead, and never mind which waj
the wind blew."
"We were drifting, as I snid." con
tinued the captain, as he swallowed a
lump in his throat, "when the man at
the masthead called "
Excuse me, captain." interrupted the
stranger, "but if all hands were trying
out why did you have a lookout at the
"Let him go on!" called two or three
"O, certainly, but he must bo sure ol
his facts. Go on, captain, you had a
man at the nutslhead. where he didn't
beloug at the time, but perhaps you
managed things that way. He sudden
ly sighted a whale, didn't he?"
Hie captain would have retired, but
we looked at him so anpealingly that
he decided to make one more effort
"The lookout hailed the deck and
said that u large whale was bearing
down on our starboard broadside," he
said, after two or three swallows. "
at once leaped "
"Say, Captain." softly inquired the
stranger, "was the lookout a man o:
"Of course he was!"
"All right, then; but I have known
lookouts who would lie like a trotting
horse about w hales. Go on. You were
going to say that you leaped over
board. What happened then?
"Gentlemen. I can't stand this."
protested the captain, as 'ie rose up.
"What s the matter? ' askea tn
You seem to doubt my word. sir.
"Lands alive! but how did you get
that idea! On the contrary, I have the
most entire faith in what you say. By
the way, Captain, what year, month,
and dny of the week was this? What
was the name of your ship? Are any
of the crow willing to go before
magistrate aud make aftidavitP 1
should also like
But the captain had turned his back
and walked away, aud our pleasant old
liar never returned to us. Jle had
been smothered by the stranger, and
we had to hunt up and listen to the
yarns of a mate, who couldit t tell a
yaru without his face giving him away
every time he pulled a leg of truth out
of joint. it. Y. Sun.
Goethe and His Doppelganger.
Goethe, when a young man, was
resting by the roadside on one occa
sion when he observed the figure of a
middle-aged gentleman approaching
him on horseback. 1 here was some
thing in the features and general ap
pearance of the stranger that attracted
his attention in a marked degree, for
the face and figure seemed to be his
own, although older and more devel
oped. In their costume, however,
there was no similarity whatever, for
while the stranger wore the robes of a
councilor of state, the young poet
wore the ordinary dress of civil life.
In the course of years afterward aud
when the circumstance had teen
nearly forgotten it was brought before
him again in a most startling manner,
for one day while passing the very spot
whwe he hud long since encountered
.it) sa'auuci' ne lounu nitiisuu sunum i,
nounted and riding along leisurely and
perceived that in form and feature he
was now the very counterpart of the
mysterious horseman and. to crown the
miracle, his costume was the same to
the minutest detail, aa he was himself
now a councilor of state also. Bel-
ford's Magazine,
George's Suggestion.
"George," said the beautiful girl, as
the blushes chased each other over her
eloquent face, "papa has ordered just
the loveliest floral decorations for our
wedding next week! There will be one
piece representing a wedding party
of six persons, the figures all lifeslze.
The florist says they will be perfect, but
he thinks the bride ought to be holding
an emblem of some kind an anchor,
or a motto, or a book. Can you think
of something appropriate, George?
"An emblem to o with the wax
"How would a dollar mark do?
suggested George, with a respectful
couch. hicsiro TiHbuna.
ooihemen "live and learn." Others
devote their time exclusively to for
eelting all that they ever knew.
Gloucester Advertiser.
Wheu an orator becomes a great
gun in his own estimation he is apt to
be a eood deal of a smooth-bore in the
estimation of others. Harper's Bazar,
Dandykin (who has tried on a new
suit and found it satisfactory (: "Aw
excuse me; I'll just step ovaw to the
bank and cash a check." His tailor:
"Quite so; and if you'll excuse me Til
follow suit."
(U wlofluir Prove Beyond a Iluubt That
"the Karth Do Move."
The longest pendulum on this conti
nent sw ings in the technological school
it Atlanta, G;u It is a heavy, pcar-
snapeo. piece oi iron, auacnea to a
brass wire forty-two feet long. The
upper end of the wire is pivoted in a
steel point, w hich rests on the centre
of a steel plate, so as to cause the least
possible friction. The swinging of the
pendulum gradually describes a circle
an the floor in a direction following the
Jim, showing in this that "the earth do
move." Directly under the pendulum
is a large circle divided into twenty-
tour parts, ot fifteen degrees each, to
sorrespond with the hours of the day.
The north pole fa placed directly under
the pond uium, and the meridians of
longitude meet there. The parallels of
latitude make smaller circles inside
the first. Dr. J. S. Hopkins, president
A the school, who made and put up
the pendulum, performs the experiment
is follows: The iron is brought to the
idgeof the circle in the meridian of
Atlanta and let swing across. Appar
3iitly it goes straight across, but grad
jnlly it traverses the circle in the di
rection taken by the sun and opposite
Lottie revolution of the earth. The
pendulum, not being directly ovr the
ixis of the earth, does not move- in
jxactly the same time as the sun, but
falls behind some hours a day. It
is said that if it were at the north pole,
where it would be immediately over
the axis, it would traverse the circle in
exactly twenty-four hours, and at the
the equator it would not traverse it at
all, for gravity would operate to pre
sent. Jeweler's Review
A Man Who Wan Ruined ly Writing a He
ply to l.'nele Toni'e Cabin.
A fellow may get over general de
bility, renew exhausted vitality, and
come out in a very astouishing way
after a case of small-pox, but if ho has
the literary craze, in nine out of ten
cases his cuse is hopeless. The victim
of this disease will waste enough time
and labor to make him a fortune, if ex
pended in a business-like way, and
have nothing to show for it.
I recall tin instance as I write. Some
years ago 1 met a gray-haireii Profes
sor, who informed me, couliilciitially,
that he was writing "A lleply to Uncle
Tom's Cabin."
"it will vindicate the South," he
said, "and paralyze tho Noiii. The
book will be asonsatiou, sir."
The Professor wrote industriously
He gave up his school and devoted
himself to his book. Finally he finished
"I know it Is good," he said, "be
cause my wife read it and praised it
The poor man spent his savintrs and
had to sell Lis home, but the book
never came out, Disappointed, and al
most heart-broken, the author died,
leaving a helpless family, and no prop
erty excipt his "Reply to Uncle Tom's
Cabin." A'Wtic Constitution.
A l'roa;relv Journnl Whom Motto 1st
"Live and Let Live."
The lust issue of the Arizona Kicker
contains tho following interesting items:
Can't Do Tr. We have been offered
twenty-five dollars in cash and a barrel
of wild plum vinegar to publish the
record of the man who runs tho weekly
further down the street. While ther
is no doubt in our mind that he is a
bigamist, horse thief, barn-burner and
anarchist sympathizer, we know what
belongs to decency and we positively
refuse the bribe. There is too much
mud-throwing among the editors of the
West, any how. They seem to have
forgotten what is due to the position.
If one of our doctors bills a patient by
some mistake, the rest are always ready
to swear him clear. If one of the edi
torial fraternity makes a trip, the rest
a re eager to pitch into him. Itshouldn't
be so. There should be more of the
fraternal spirit more of the pride of
profession. Therefore, while we are
perfectly satisfied that the bald-headed, .
bow-legged, squint-eyed old coyote
who calls himself the editor of the
moribund dis'i-rag, eleven doors be
low, ought to be in State prison for
life, we are not going to forgot what
belongs to the amenities of editorial
Passf-d Away. "Injun Joe." as he
was familiarly called, has finally passed
in his checks, although he bung on for a
year longor than any one thought he
could. Afteraspree, lasting four weeks,
he crept into one of the A. & T. stage
coachos and surrendered to the grim de
stroyer. We always looked upon Joe as
half-wilted, but we beg to acknowledge
our mistake. In his last hours he
wrote down the fact on a bit of paper
that we owed him seven dollars bor
rowed money and that bit of paper
was left where it could not help but be
seen. The first we knew of his deatb
was w hen the coroner brought in the
note. We borrowed the money a year
ago. and as Joe had never dunned ur
we supposed it had slipped his miid.
We shall probably have to pay it, but
whether we shall do so before appeal
ing to the law remains to be seen.
Dkskkving ok Patronage. It ir
over seven months since the A. & T.
coaches were put on to connect our
town with the outside world. The
Kicker has not before mentioned the
fact, for the reason that no pass was
sent to us.r If a stage coach or a rail
road company starts' out with tho idea
that it can paddle its canoe with
out the aid of tho press, the best way
Is to give them rope. We have been
giving the A. & T. Line rope. Yester
day it threw up its hands and sent us
beautiful annual puss. The Kicker
now takes pleasure in calling public at
tention to the fact that tho A. & T.
Stage-Line Company, Limited, has
three roomy and com.)rtable vehicles
running from the post-office to Topknot
Station, on the U. P. Hood, nine miles
away, lne tare is very low, the
drivers safe men, and the speed satis
factory. It is an enterprise which de
serves patronage, and we hope the
company will iiave the support and
good wishes of every citizen of the
Don't Blamk Us. If Major Jones,
he of the taw uy hair and purple nose,
will let us tilono we shall never cross
his path. If he persists in lying about
us if ho continues to scandalize our
private character and throw mud at
our earnest efforts lo build up the
town, ho will hoar something drop with
an awful thud some day.
We want no quarrel with Major
Jones or any other citizen. We want
to live in peace, publish the Kicker at
2 per year, strictly in advance, and
feel that wo are welcomo wheuever we
drop in i.o a saloon to recuperate our
strength after exhaustive editorial
Call Us "Genf.ual." We under
stand that there is considerable dissat
isfaction around town with a certain
class because the general public has
dubbed us with the title of "General."
We refer to those "Captains," "Ma
jors." "Colonels" and "Judges" who
spend four-lifths of their time in the
grog shops and poker rooms, and the
other fifth in abusing decent citizens.
If tho public desires to call us "Gen
eral," so be it; and tha class referred
to can take it out in bitting their noses.
We have hunted up the records of
twenty-two of them, and not one
mother's son of the gang is entitled to
any thing except tho very plainest and
cheapest and meanest "Bill'' or "Tom."
They want to let our title of "General"
alone or something will occur to pain
their leeiiuffs. Uetroit t m iv.a
The fleece of teii goats and the
work of several men for half a year are
required to make a cashmere shawf .
a j.vd and a half widj. t.
. . y