1 t
JOB Pri i i it ' - -
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EBANON
J. H. 8TINB 6x CO. Publisher
JCrerf dmaripitoa ot
M fmim lens on Etit Mcs.
TERiisl or 8UB3CR1P1ION.
M Yaar
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(Payabl. m advanoe.)
TERMS OT ADVERTISING.
(LKOJkL.)
Legal Blanks, Business Cards,
Letter Heads, Bill Heads,
Circulars, Fosters, Berg
Oaa aeur, fiirt insertion ............... 00
I auiultooal IDHIuOB AW
(LOCALl
VOL. I.
LEBANOJN, OREGON, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 1888.
I Wntlc m tins IS aenta
NO. 49.
Rvular advertisements Inserted upon liberal terma.
Kwntort ia good asla sod a lowaat Bring
EXPRESS
.1 A
SOCIETY NOTICES.
LEBANON Lodge, no.
44. A. T. f A. M Meet
at thfir new tuUi in Masouic Block, on Saturday
auuur. on or Del ore umi mil moon.
J WA880. W.M.
LKBAWS LODGE. NO. 47, I. O. O. F.: MeeU Sat
urday evening of eaoh week, at Odd FellnW. Hall.
Main atreat: visiting brethren cordially Invited to
attend. J. J. CHARLTON, H. G.
ONOR LODGE NO. 38.
A o. V W . Lebanon.
Oregon: Moets ev
tags in the month.
Oregon: Moets every first aud third Thursdayeven-
jr. tL. Almoin., a, v .
I. F.
CONN,
Contractor, Carpenter
and Builder.
Flams amd Speelfleatlona Famlahee
oa. Bnert Settee.
ALL IKBS OF CARPESTER WORI DONE
And Satisfaction Guaranteed.
saTPRICES VERY REASONABLE."
Albany and Lenanea, Or.
DR. A. H. PETERSON,
SURGICAL DENTIST,
.:VMa and Extracting; Teeth a SpeciaHy.
LEBANON. ORBOOM.
OaUe In W. C. Peterson's jewelry store.
afTITI work warranted. Charges reaionabl e
O. H. HARMON,
B1RBER & HAIRDRESSER,
LEBANON. OREOON.
a vine Kan- Cutting, and Shampooing in
lataat and
BBST ITTLS8.
'Patronage reapaetfoUy Bull ei ted.
Ot. Charles Hotel,
LEBANON, Oregon.
. W. Comer Main and Sherman Streets, twe Bloaka
East of R R. Depot.
H. E. PARRISH, Proprietor.
fables Supplied with the Best the Market
Affords.
Booms and the Beet Aaoosnwiodatiom
Oummareiai man.
GENERAL STAGS OFFICE.-
C. T. COTTON,
DEALER IN
Groceries and Provisions.
TOBACCO t CIGARS.
SMOKERS' ARTICLES,
Foreign and Domestic Fruits,
CONFECTIONERY,
laeenaware mad Klajswtre,
Idtnaps and Ianap Flxtarea.
Malm t Lektits, Orffan.
LEBANON
Meat Itl.ar.ket
aalTHL. Jk. KELUESBEB6EB,
Praprletem.
Fresh and Salted Beef and
Pork,
MUTTON,
PORK, 8AU8ACE,
BOLOGNA and
HAM.
Eo ml Lart always on Eanfl.
Main Street, Lebanon, Or.
L. cswax, J. M. IUlstin, J. w". Cubic.
BANK OF LEBANON
Lebanon, Oregon,
Transacts
a General
Business.
Banking
Aoooun's Kept Subject to Check.
EXCHANGE SOLD ON
Iit Tort. San Francisco. Portland am
UMI, Oregon.
tionR Made on Favor
" Terms.
Thk Governor of Montana estimates
the present population of the Territory
at 13O,0OGV-an increase of 10,000 in
the last year.
Discoveries, inventions and com
pounds patented each year in the Uni
ted States and never, amounting to
anything, cost $3 000,000.
Helena is to have the largest re
duction works in the Northwest. The
capacity of the new works will bo 500
tons a day, and will cost $500,000.
Mr. Villard and Governor Houser are
the instigators of the enterprise.
Reports say that there are over
100,000 persons out of employment in
the city of New York, many of whom
are menaced by starvation. The em
ployment agencies are full of people
looking for work, and a general de
pression in till trades seems prevalent.
Insurance companies lost $ 1,500,-
000 by fires in Montreal last year,
which ia twice or three times as much
as they received for premiums. One
company is already closing up busi
ness in the province, and it is not
unlikely that one or two more will
follow their example.
In the twenty-three years from 1859
to 1882, the quantity of wool produced
in this country increased nearly five
fold, from 60,000,000 to 290,000,000
pounds. In 1S60 the production was
less than two pounds for each inhabi
tant; in 1882 it was 5.4 pounds for
each inhabitant.
A new gun has recently been in
vented in Switzerland. It has four
ri flies to everv foot, thereby insuring
greater accuracy and precision of aim
than has ever before been attained.
The bullet is encased in a steel cover
ing, as the gun is only intended to
wound; which is more desirable in
warfare.
New York has made a clear profit
out of her salt reservation of nearly
$700,000 since 1846, when toll was
placed at 1 cent per bushel, and the
fields have yielded since they were
opened in 1797 over 331,000,000 bush
els. There is a rock-salt layer fifty
feet thick and covering 4,000 sqnare
miles. Last year the fields were oper
ated at a loss of $3,000.
The Secretary of the Interior has
sent to the Senate a statement in re
gard to the amount of land each of
the States has reeeived from the United
States for school purposes. California
has received 5,610,702 acres ; Nevada,
3,905,462 acres; Oregon, 3,387,520
acres. If other States received" an
equal amount with the newer States
in the West, it would take 26,474,688
acres.
The, wheat crop of the United States
for 1887 was 450,000,000 bushels. The
home requirements for food, seed and
manufactures was 345,000,000. The
exports from July 1st to December 1st
were 65,300,000 bushels, of which the
Pacific Coast supplied 9,950,000 bush
els. The whole crop of California,
Oregon and Washington in 1886 was
54,858,000 bushels. The figures for
1887 have not yet been completed.
Thk California State Board of Trade
has issued a circular concerning the
condition of the laboring classes in
California, which will be sent East for
distribution. The circular recites that
work is assured all, and that higher
wages are paid than for the same char
acter of work east of the Rockies. The
circular also states that the prosperity
of the people is attested by the fact
that while California has but one-fif
tieth of the population of the United
States, the people have one-twentieth
of the total savings deposited.
Forty years ago there were not north
of the Arkansas river 250,000 American
citizens in all the vast area between
the Missouri and the Pacific Ocean.
Now there are not less than 12,000,-
000, or nearly one-fifth of our entire
population. There are forty large
cities within this area, 75,000 miles of
railroad and at least one third of the
telegraph lines of the United States.
The rapidity of, this growth is in con
trast with that of Australia, whose
centenary is now in course ol com
memoration. Australia was settled in
1788 bv a colony of 850 convicts. In
1820 its European population was only
30,000, mostly convict or discharged
convicts. In 1839 it ceased to be a
penal colony. It grew very slow until
the discovery of gold in 1851. By the
end of that year 250,000 Europeans
joined the colony. By 1871 the popu
lation was 1,300,000; in 1881 it was
2.250.000. and in 1887 it was about
3,000,000, and including New Zealand
3,486,682. Sydney has 250,000 inhab
itants and Melbourne and its environs
nearly 400,000.
Now thai Dr. "William Ferry 'and
Mr. W. R, Sever are dead. Dr. William
Goddard, of Charlestown, Mass., is the
oldest living graduate of Harvard Col
lege. He was born in 1796, graduated
in 1815, and is the only living member
of his class.
Benjamin F. Butler considers him
self a comparatively young man. Al
though sixty-nine years of age he is as
strong physically and mentally as he
ever was, and has no intention of retir
ing from the active practice of his pro
fession. He wishes to die in the har
ness. . .
OREGON NEWS.
Everything of General Interest in
Condensed Form.
Farmers in Tule lake vicinity have
commenced plowing.
Senator Mitchell has made applica
tion for the establishment of free mail
delivery in Est Portland.
The third term of the State Normal
School has opened at Monmouth with
nearly 200 pupils.
The Stirling mining company have
bought Saltmarsh Bros.' placer claim
near Jacksonville. The price is re
ported to be $10,000.
It is said that during the late cold
weather the Umpqua river was frozen
over for the first time in its known
history.
The military telegraph line is work
ing all right now along its whole
length. New poles will put it in good
condition next spring, says the Ash
land Tidings.
Three passenger depots are to be
erected on the -line of the Portland &
Willamette Valley Railway, one at
South Portland, one at Fulton and the
other at the White House.
It is stated on good authority that
there are 71,000 acres of taxable prop
erty in Josephine county, and aide
from this some 10,000 acres especially
adapted to fruit, and which will come
under the plow before a great while.
The furniture factory of George H.
Albers, situated near the river bank,
at Sellwood, caught fire and burned
to the ground. The origin of the fire
could not be learned. Loss, between
$4000 and $5,000.
The poetoffice department is prepar
ing to establish two postomees on a
new mail service between Lakeview
and Burns, one at Warner valley with
D. E. Jones as postmaster, and one at
Rockford, in Grant county, with J. R.
Howe as postmaster.
The deer, during the cold spell, came
down off the hills on the low lands
around Scappoose bay in considerable
numbers and the cougars followed.
Orville Gorman, of that vicinity, went
out with his dogs to hunt a cougar.
I le shot a wild cat, a lynx and then a
cougar.
A party of explorers on the Harney
lakes discovered an island three miles
in length that is apparently the home
and breeding place of all the various
water fowL The island is said to he
simply alive with ducks and geese and
ie a very paradise for sportsmen. Deer
were also found on it in very large
numbers.
An accident happened south of ML
Tabor, and near the Gilbert place,
which resulted in the shocking death
of a little 6-year old girl of John Lin
dinberg. Some nien were engaged in
burning brush and ld timber, and the
little girl was crossing the patch of
ground where they were at work. As
she went by, a high stump that was
burning around the roots fell on her,
striking on the side of her head, cruslr
ing the skull and breaking her arm.
She was quiekly picked up and carried
into the house, but it was soon ascer
tained that her injuries were of too
serious a nature for her to recover, and
after lingering in a comatose state dur
ing the day she died.
In accordance with a petition of 240
residents of Harney Valley, Governor
Pennoyer has indited the following
letter to the Commissioner of the Gen
eral Land Office at Washington, D. C.
In a late letter to you I requested i
speedy issuance of patents to the State
of Oregon to lands declared to be
swamp by the agents of the federal
and state governments. I now feel
constrained to ask you to delay the
granting of such patents for a time.
I am in receipt of petitions and im
davits of settlers in the Lakeview dis
trict which have a tendency to induce
the oehef that the agents have made
errors in reporting lands as swamp
lands which in reality are not such,
and which reports would have the
effect of depriving bona-fide settlers
under the United States land laws of
their titles to their homes. As I have
before stated to the department, the
State of Oregon does not want title to
one acre of land that is not swamp
land, and the more especially ro when
such title would be in conflict with
the claims and interest of bona-fide
settlers. Having it therefore strongly
impressed upon me that there may be
errors in the report of the agents above
referred to, notwithstanding my hopes
of a speedy adjustment, I would ask
that no further action be taken by
your department in the matter at
present. If a land oihee is created in
Eastern Oregon, the parties interested
in the land in question will be able to
contest the same before the register
and receiver without much expense,
and the matter can thus, be settled
right, upon indubitable testimony, and
it ought not to be settled at all until
it is settled right.
A correspondent writing from Dry
Lake, Modoc County, Cal., to an ex
chancre, thus describes some of the
wonders of that section of couutry
A short time since as two vaqueros
were hunting east of this place, about
five miles, they observed steam issu
ing from a crevice in the lava, which
they explored for some distance, but
it was so dark they could not see to
walk. So, on the following day, after
supplying themselves with candles,
they penetrated the lower regions for
about two miles or more, at a descent
of about four inches to the rod. The
roof seems to be of polid lava. The
floor is yellow Bind; and about one
mile from the entrance there is a large
room, ten or twelve feet high and sixty
feet across. The temperature is about
ninety degrees, and increases at every
step. As the candle grew short the
explorers were compelled to return.
A prize of $500 has been offered
for the production of the best practical
elementary textbook of tropical agri
culture specially applicable to Jamaica,
uianuscnots to ue suDtnuieatoine gov
ernment of Jamaica on or before Au-
,t 1. 1SS8. Arkansaw Traveler.
Steps are being taken in Morida to
organize a shippers' union to control
and regulate the sale and shipment of
oranges, lemons, and other fruits to
Northern markets. The commission
.men will be dispensed, with and agents
of the union will take their place.
Good results are expected.
COLORED PHILOSOPHY.
Ton ma; notch tt on de palln's,
Von mar mark It oa do wall,
Dat the higher np a toad frog jumps,
De harder will he tail.
And de crow dat fly de swlftes'
Am de soones' in da corn.
And de fly dat am de meanest'
Ulta up earliest In de mora.
De brook dat am ds shallo'es
Chatters moat upon de way.
And de folks dat am de sillies'
Are de ones hab moa' tor say.
And de rooster dat am youngos'
Am de one dot crow de mos'.
And de man who am de coward
Always make de blggoa' boas'.
And he am not de creates man
Who totes de btggns mnscle;
Nor am she de tines' gal
Who wars ds blggoa' bustle.'
Ton kin not odge de kin' ob maa
By the manner ob hts walkln'.
An dry ar not de smartes' folks.
Who do do loudes' talk In'.
Vanlsa Blad.
BUFFALO AND BULL-DOQ.
rtaeky
Conduct of a Iog Which
fTeat
Hunting oa the mains.
The pack of dogs were in full cry
after the stampeding herds of bellow
ing beasts as they rushed and tore
nlong the column with their peculiar,
rolling gait But King, the Lull-dog,
singled out the immense wounded lead
er, who had now slackened his speed
and was faltering in his tracks. He
sprang at his throat with great cour
age, fastened upon him, and the battle
commenced, with the columns as silent
spectators. It was a novel spectacle.
The brooded troopers, the great, shag
gy beasts thundering by, the white
topped wagon train closed up and halt
ed, the fleeting shadows, and the al
most limitless stretch pt surrounding
prairie and vast solitude. The bull
went down upon his knees, but so great
wm his strength that he quickly arose
and whirled the dog in great circles
over his hetrd. King had been taught
never to let go. The entire command
now watched with breathless attention
the apparently unequal struggle, ex
pecting every moment to see the dog
crushed to death. Down went the bull
again on his knees, this time not from
any weakness, but to gore the dog;
riilng, he would stamp h'.s feet. In his
.age, then shaking him awhile he
would resume swiuging and snapping
him like whip-cord through the
r.lr. The foam, now bloody, flecked
the long, tawny beard of the bisou bull.
His eyes, nearly concealed in the long
matted hair that covered his shaggy
head, flashed fire, and his rage knew
no bounds. The dog. w hich had com
menced the fight a pure white, now
turned to a spotted crimson from blood
which had flowed from the buffalo's
wounds, and still his brute instinct,
tenacious courage a,nd training I'd
him to hold on. Had he let go for a
moment the crazed bull would have
gored him to death before he could
have retreated. The bull grew per
ceptibly weaker; he rose to Ids feet
less often. He could no longer throw
the dorr in circles above his head. The
blood stained King to a more vivid red.
and, begrimed with dirt, he had lost
all semblance to his former self. All
were anxiously looking for the struggle
to end. Impatience was already dis
played upon the men s faces, when and
denly General MaeKenzle shouted: ''Kill
the animal and put him out of his mis
ery." It as a merciful command. Two
men stepped forward to the enormous
beast, now on his knees rocking to and
fro, the dog still holding on, and
placing their carbines behind the left
shoulder, to reach a vital point, fired
Ho gave one great quiver, one last
spasmodic rocking, and spread him
self upon the vast prairie, dead. Not
till then did King let go! Outing.
TOLD BY THE TASTE.
Bow Tobacco Expert Mak.lhrlr Choice
of DlrTferaat Hraads.
Til smoke that and then tell you
how I like it."
"Well. I'll not put the brand on the
market on the strength t of that test.
returned one of the largest importers
of cigars in the cily to a friend whom
he had asked to give his opinion of i
new brand of cigars he thought of in
troducing to the public
"All right Just give me a box of
them and I'll be able to ninke a better
test of their woith."
"That would be no better than the
first plan you suggested."
Perhaps, then, ' repled the friend.
slightly offended, "you don't consider
me a capable judge of tobacco.
"Nothing of the sort Tou certain
ly have had enough experience to ,ell a
irood cirar when you smoke It, but
while that test may be sufficient for
you to judge whether the cigar suits
four individual taste or not. it is not
thorough twiough for my purposes."
"How should a cigar be judged.
then, if not by smoking it?"
"There are several ways. I irst by
Its appearance. You can tell by look
Ing at it whether it is well made or not.
Then it's color has much to do with its
value. But the way to test its flavor
is by tasting and smelling it"
How can you taste a cigar without
smoking itP You wouldn't chew iL
would youP"
"By no moans. To taste a olgar you
take the large end in your mouth and
press your tongue against the ends of
the leaves. Then draw your breath
through it three or four times. That
way you get the entire flavor. I have
bought tobacco for thirty years, and
use my judgment almost solely in my
purchases. During that time I have
nm-er smoked a single cigar, cigarette
or pipe, and I never chewed in all my
life. Smoking vitiates the delicate
taste of a judge of tobacco. Yea, in
deod, there are many things in our
business that the pnblio doesn t know.
and that is one of thein." N. Y. Hail
atul Exvress.
s-AVe'are not sent to teed the people
with the products of our own wisdom,
ranch less with our difficulties, doubts
and uncertainties these will not build
them up in spiritual life and holiness
but with the . meaning of His wisdom
and words, who is Himself the bread of
life. W. P. Balern.
When we have received the gospel
we should have an immediate . wish to
clve it to somo ono else. It is too rood
to keep all to ourselves. The Lord
gives it to us, and gives us hearts to
profit by it; let us be like him and give it
to any Whom we may reach by. our word
of influence. United iTespvlerian
, ON A DAKOTA TRAIN.
tlow a Big Man Beenred a Comfortable
Heat In a Crowded Car.
A big railroad grader who loomed up
like the late Goliath came in and sat
down in a "turned seat" opikmUc r
very little man. The large gentleman
was comfortably drunk the little man
rather looked as if he might be a prohi
bitionist. The big man snorted a few
imes, wiped his feet on the small man's
cushion, and then remarked:
Say! I jes' despise a little, drled-
np, insignifercant man!"
Er ah is that so?" said the little
man, with a weak, nerveless smile.
"Commonly I eat 'em!" continued
the large party in a loud voice. The
ittle man s smile grew more feeble and
ghastly.
I chaw cm up and leave 'cm!" con
tinued the grader fiercely, as he glared
around without appearing to notice the
small man with the dying smile. "1
wouldn't hit a little, sneakin' wad of a
man that weighed less than a hundred
and fifty, 'cause there wouldn't be
enough of him left for a funeral; but
I've bit more'n a million of 'em!"
The little man weighed less than a
hundred and thirty, and appeared to be
growing rapidly smaller.
W'y. blank their little hides!" went
on the big, big man, "there orter be a
law ag'ln 'em! They got to pass it
mighty quick, though, or I'll have 'em
all killed off!"
The little man was looking at the
window out of the corners of his eyes
and contemplating a leap.
"Somebody tie my hands 'n' feet an'
show me one o these small men!"
yelled the grader as he warmed up.
"Lemme lean over an fall on him an
sqush him! Somebody hold me an lead
up a small man an lemme look at him
an' par'lize him! Ya a a ah! Lem
me breathe on one of 'em an' scorch
him!"
The little man had his feet braced
and gripped his umbrella with the en
ergy of a last hope, as he resolved tu
sell his life as dearly as possible.
"War-r-r thar! Git outer my way!
Gimme one o these vore dwarfs or I'll
bust yer car!" yelled the big man. as
he rose np and begin striking out wildly
at the air. "Show me a little man.
'cause I'm hungry! Bring me one fot
my supper! Hi-i thar! Dash me here t
one now see me chaw him! And he
made a lunge at the little man, who in
some unaccountable way shot up ovet
the back of his seat and rushed along
the aisle and out the door onto the real
platform, where he rode to the next
station, while the big man subsided and
spread his feet all over the opposite
seat, pulled his hat down over his eyes.
and only grunted aud kicked aimlessly
at the arm of the seat when the con
ductor came along and demanded
ticket,. IL Car ruth, in Chicago Trib
une.
m o m
CATARRHAL DEAFNESS.
An Affliction Moat Commonly Connected
With the Middle Kr.
Catarrh is an increased secretion ol
mucus from the mucous membrane, due
to its inflammation. This membrane
lines the cavities of the eyes, ears, nose,
month; Indeed, every cavity whieb
opens directly or indirectly to the air.
The mucous membrane of each of thest
organs is liable to inflammation am'
consequent morbid increase of mucus,
and hence we may speak of catarrh ol
the stomach, bowels, bladder. The in
flammation may be acute or chronic.
As popularly used, the word catarrh
generally refers to the mucous mem
brane of the nostrils, pharynx (back
mouth) and air tubes. An ordinary
eold in the "head is a temporary
catarrh. Catarrhal deaTness is most
commonly connected with the middle
ear, the tympanic cavity the portion
next beyond the drum. This cavity
opens into the mouth through the En
stachian tube, and is thus supplied with
the necessary air. Now the mucous
membrane that lines this tube may
swell and close it up. in consequence ol
inflammation extending from the nos
trils and pharynx. Deafness, more oi
less, mav be due to this closure.
Again, the mucous membrane which
lines the cavity of the middle ear m:v
itself bo inflamed. If this is long con
tinued, the membrane becomes thick'
eued; the ossicles the little bones that
conduct the vibrations of sound from
the drum to the nerves of the internal
ear may be greatly interfered with
the mucus may accumulate and be
come solid, its fluid portion being ab
sorbed, or it may become purulent, as
in abscess, and may eat its way through
the drum. Thus deafness, in variou
degrees, may result
As to the treatment of catarrhal
deafucss, we can give no other advice
than to urge an early resort to the best
expert within calL In this way alone
in many cases, .can permanent and
perhaps complete, deafness be avoided.
The medical and surgical resources are
now vastly beyond what they were
fifty vears ago. But we must add, let
sll who seom specially liable to ca
tart-haL. difficulties avoid exposure to
cold ads, wear flannel next to the
ski' In every practicable way
maintain a high degree of general
health.
"Beating" In the oar is due to an in
creased sensitiveness of the nerve.
causing it to feel the throbbing of
some minute artery. In many cases ol
ear troubles there is a ringing (UnnU
us) in the ears. vhich may be of al
most every conceivable degree and va
rt.y. Youth a Companion.
Jack "Ethel. 1 am ashamed ol
you, I saw that Frenchman in the con
servatory kissing you repeatedly
Why didn't yon tell him to stop?'
Ethel "I couldn't. Jack." Jack-r
"You couldn't? Why not?" Ethel
"I can't speak French."
A Doubtful Success. De Puyster
(who has forgotten the name of an ac
quaintance and wishes to recall it un
obtrusively) "By the way your pe
culiar name; may I ask how yo
spell ItP" Acquaintance "Certainly
B-r-o-w-n." De Puyster (expressively)
"Ah!" Tid-BiU .
"Here's a piece in the paper about
an Indianapolis woman whose voice
can be heard a mile," said Mrs. Slasher
to her husband. "Well, dear, don't be
jealous. You may not be much on
mile dash, but your staying equalities
are tiUU."'".- uuoui uaootju.
RATHER EXPENSIVE.
fair Toons; Decorator's Husband Deals
la raeta and Fig-area.
"What do you think of it?"
A young housekeeper was exhibiting
to au investigator a handsomely deco-
ated plate which loaned against a neat
asel on the mantel of her prettv draw
ing-room.
"Beautiful."
"Guess where it came from?"
"France, perhaps."
"No. I bought the plate down town
and decorated it myself."
An excellent idea! You can now
ave as handsome a dinner set as there
is in New York at a mere trifling cost"
"That shows what you know about
it," interposed the husband of the fair
artist, with just a trace of sadness in
his tones.
"I don't see why vou say so, John,"
retorted the latter.
'Lot's figure the cost. I probably
have kept a closer watch up:m that de
partment of the business than you have
done."
"Well, begin."
"In the first place, the plate itself
cost you $3?"
I know," returned the artist, with
an air of triumph; "but you can't cut
a decorated plate like that for less than
$5."
That may be so," continued the
husband cruelly.
VNext you bought about an ounce of
liquid gold, which cost $3.75. You
used about half that amount'
"Not all on that plate, John. Yon
know I spoiled about as much as I
used."
"I know you did, my dear, and you
ruined about $3 worth of carpet with
the stuff; but I didn't intend to reckon
that in this table. Then you bought a
book of instruction which cost t'2.50
more. Aud yr,u took six lessons on the
design you painted, at $1 a lesson. U
you paint any more plates, you will
have to take more lessons. Isn't that
so?"
"Yes, but I will enly need one ot two
on each plate from this time on."
"I haven t mentioned the paints and
brushes you bought They cost $10
more, but will probably answer for
some time to come in your future work.
1 ve not finished yet It cost $1 to have
the plate fired. Now, let's see what
he cost Is:
Piste fa ns
Gold 1 irt
Carpet spoiled 8 01
icaaons . S 01
Book M
Punts io Cl
tiring 101
i7 87
"That is Just shameful, John. You
Know my next work won t cost me
nearly so much."
" e 11 see abont that," continued
her husband. "Your plate will cost
$3; gold (barring accidents) say f 1.
lessons $2. paint say $1. and firing $1,
1 hat makes fS. Fretty high price to
pay for a $5 plate, eh? This .doesn't
include the expense of a headache.
nat-Kacne and loss ol temper which a
painting always produces In you.
Neither does it take in the amount of
vexation your illness always causes me.
r.o, my mend, added the husband, in
conclusion, as he turned to the investi
gator, "I Hud it cheaper to buy my
china. I am afraid a whole dinner set
would leave me nothing to buy food to
diue on. A. Y. Mail ami Express.
CLIMBING A MOUNTAIN.
Discomfort. Experienced by Toertats Boaad
for Popocatepetl's Summit.
The effects of the rarity of the atmos
phere were felt as soon as the start was
made, and it was impossible to proceed
more than a few yards without stopping
to take breath. The ascent was made
in zig-zags, and naturally a rest was
taken at the end of each direct line.
At the start to climb for eight minutes
aud rest five was considered making
very good time. It was not long be
fore a rest of eight minutes was re
quired for every four of climbing, and
after half the ascent was made we
rested more frequently and without
exerting ourselves to sit down. We
thrust our staves into the snow and
leaned our heads upon them. Drowsi
ness overtook us, and progress became
mechanical. We moved only as spurred
on by our ever-watcmui guides, li
left to ourselves we would have fallen
asleep. Our hearts beat with fearful
rapidity and the breath became shorter
and shorter. Kinging sensations in the
head like those produced by large
loses of quinine were experienced.
The most acute pains shot through the
6kulL Conversation was suspended.
except among the guides, and their
voices fell on our ears as if coming
from a great distance. It was impos
sible to tell what progress was being
made, for the top and bottom seemed
equidistant all the way up. We barely
escaped the most severe experience
likely to occur to those who reach that
high elevation: bleeding at the nose,
mouth and ears. It would have been the
signal that we had gone too far. that
heart and lungs refused to submit
further, and we should have placed
ourselves in the hands of our guides to
be carried back to Tlaniacas.
Our physical endurance was stretched
.almost to its limit by the time the head
tiide shouted, "Hero we are! Smell the
sulphurl" The whiff of sulphurous
4inoke which greeted our nostrils, tell
ing that our task was nearly completed
aud rest was at hand, acted like a power
ful stimulant We awoke for a final
effort, pressed on. and rested not until
wo stood breathless upon the summit
t Popocatepetl. Arthur Howard Noll,
in American Magazine.
On the tennis eourtt "That girl
ovist 1 a dreadfully Tor player.
Why?" 'Because her dress is so cx
ajngiye." 7etgn ron-cs. ,
John Al. ftapena, whose death is
announced In the latest news-budget
from the Sandwich Islands, was a full
blooded Hawaiian, who had been prom
inent in publio life for many years.
From 1870 to 1880 he was Governor of
the Island of Maui. Then he went as
Minister to Japan, and on his return
was made I'rtme Minister, tie re
mained at the head of the Government
for two years, served subsequently as
Postmaster-General, and was Finance
Minister in the Gibson Cabinet which
was overthrown last July. Mr. Ka-
pena accompanied King Ralakaua on
his visit to this country in 1874, and
again made a tour of the United States
two years ago. . . -:
QUEERNESS OF THINUsi
Few Pozsles Which No School or Phil
osophy Can BoIto.
This is a sort of topsy-turvy world.
No one seems to be satisfied. One man
is struggling to get justice and another
is flying from it
One man is saving up to bnyahonsc.
and another is trying to sell his dwell
ing, for less than it cost; to get rid of
it
One man Is spending all the money
he can earn in taking a girl to the
theater and sending her flowers. In the
hope that he will eventually make her
his wife, and his neighbor is spending
all the gold he has saved to get a di
vorce. Smith is drinking imported ale to
put flesh on, while Johnson is living on
crackers and walking ten miles a day
to reduce his avoirdupois.
The laborer with ten children keep
nut of debt on ten dollars a week,
while many an unmarried bank official
with a hundred dollars a week can't
get along without helping himself to
the bank's funds.
Robinson takes sherry to give him an
appetite, while Brown, who has a wine
cellar, can't touch a drop of it on ac
count of apoplectic tendencies. The
doctor tells Morrill that if he doesn't
stop work and take a rest he will go
into a decline, and then tells Blakely
that if he does not abandon his seden
tary position and go off somewhere and
work on a farm he. will die of torpidity
of the liver.
One man is ordered to eat eggs be
cause they are nutritions, and another
is cautioned to leave them alone be
cause they produce bile.
One man keeps a pistol to protect
himself against burglars, while his
neighbor doesn't keep one for fear of
shooting some member of the family
by mistake.
You will sometimes see a man plant
ing trees about his place for the shade;
and, at the. same time, you will see
another cutting down all the trees
about his house because they produce
too mnch moisture.
One rich man wears poor clothes be
cause he is rich and can do any thing.
while a poor man wears fine clothes be
cause he is poor and wants to create
the Impression that Vve is not
One man is killed by accident, and
another tries to commit suicide and
fails.
One man escapes all the diseases that
Sesh is heir to and Is killed on a rail
mad; another man goes through half-a-dozen
wars without a scratch and
then dies of whooping-cough.
The prize-fighter reforms and be
comes a preacher, while the theological
student leaves his university to become
a professional base-ball pitcher.
The man who can make twenty thou
sand dollars a year, as a general thing
can t save a cent, while the man who is
thrifty and wise is seldom so gifted
that he can earn any thing at alL
We know a wealthy merchant who
keeps half a dozen horses, who recently
stated that his store was closed on ac
count of a holliday;', and we also
know a proof-reader who can spell
every word in the English language
correctly, and the only time he experi
ences any horse is when he eats hors.
radish.
Good people die and bad people live.
The man who is fat with health can t
get employment and the man who is
making money hand-over-fist has to
give up business on account of ill-
health.
Linguists are keeping peanut stands.
and monkeys are writing for newspa
pers. In a railroad collision the danc
ing-master generally loses his feet and
the mathematician his head.
The pugil'st breaks his wrist and the
opera-singer contracts throat trouble.
The man with a colossal fortune is
usually obliged to adopt an heir, while
the man without a cent generally has
a sufficient number of heirs to satisfy
half a dozen capitalists.
One man won't touch bacon for fear
of getting trichina, and another swears
by Bacon because some people think he
wrote Shakesreare.
We wish we could find out why these
things are so. because it would set our
minds at rest and make us happy.
Fuck.
The Only AclaKt.
"Did any of your family get cnt to
pieces with a mowing-machine this
year?" he asked of a farmer on the
market yesterday.
No, sir."
"Any legs t.iken t.ff by the reaper r"'
"Not a leg."
"Any one fall off a haystack and run
pitchfork into him?"
"No. sir."
"Any one get wound np in the
tumbling-rod of the thrashing-ma
chine?"
"No. sir."
"Any one killed by the explosion of
a portable boiler?"
"No."
"None of the women burned to death
by kerosene?"
"Nol"
"Well you ought to be thankf uL"
"Yes, 1 suppose sol The only acci
dent we had in our neighborhood oc
curred to a chap who came out from
the city to stay a day or two with me.
II-s fell asleep in the orchard and a
ealf chewed all the hair off h'.s head!"
Detroit Free Press.
A Trifle Sarcastic
Wife to II isband I can't compre
hend how I ever came to marry such
a donkey as yon.
Husband Don't get excited, my
dear.
The only t-xplanation for it is that
I wes a fool, a wre died, ignominious
fool."
"Now look here, my dear, you may
abuse me as much as you please, but
I shall not allow you to call my wife a
fooL You must speak respectfully
when you mention her name, even if
she does not deserve it" Schalk.
JeMk.ins.1ve- got some tning to
tell vou. It grieves me to say it, but
as a friend, I don't think I ought to
keep silent" "What is It, man what
is it?" "I saw Brown throwing kisses
to your wife." Great Scott! I
wouldn't have believed it" "I thought
not" "But, come to think of it.
Brown never did have much taste."
WangtonCritio.
LINCOLN'S SECRETARY.
A Chat With Colonel Hloolay Abont
the
President's Characteristics,
"How did Mr. Lincoln bear himself
during the campaign?"
"He was alwayu a self-poised man.
quiet and equable in temper, seldom
greatly elated or much depressed. He
was not worried about the campaign,
and had himself thoroughly in hand.
People sent him many curious symbols
of frontier life axes, mauls, wedges.
rails and all sorts of people on all
sorts of errands called on him in the
Governor's room in the State- House,
which was assigned to hinu Many
came from mere curiosity, and they
would sit awkwardly around looking
at him. He could not talk politics
much at such a time, and the bulk of
his visitors were shy of speech. They -
handled the symbols that had been
sent in, and spoke to him of their use.
and he would sometimes take the end
of an axe helve between his fingers and
hold the axe out at arm's length, to
show that he had not lost his strength.
In various simple ways he thus man
aged to kill time. One fellow had the
impudence to come wearing a seces
sion cockade in his hat Lincoln spoke
to him pleasantly, and shook hands as '
with the others, and the intruder sat
around half an hour, look! ng foolish
and saying nothing, and finally went
out The crowd quietly ignored the
intended irsult"
"Mr. Lincoln waa jost as democratic
in the White House, I believe," I said.
"Yes," assented Colonel Nicolay,
"and that went far toward giving him
his firm hold on the hearts of the peo
ple. It was his custom, while he was
President, to hold an informal recep-"
tion between twelve and one o'clock
each day, to hear in person the
requests and wishes of all s orts
of people who chose to come to
to see him. Rich and poor, white and
black, crowded into the business office,
(now Colonel Lamont's) shook hands
amd told him what they wanted. He
generally wrote a card and referred the
petitioner to the proper department, .
but often he attended to it himself.
Men who wanted office came; alleged
Unionists who wanted pay for losses;
cranks who showed him how to pnt
down the rebellion; mothers who had
sons in the army; relatives of men who
had been ordered shot; tramps who
were hard up and wanted money or
transportation to enable them to go
somewhere. It was like some ancient .
Druid standing under an oak tree and
dealing out justice to the realm."
"Didn't the people exasperate Old
Abe sometimes?
"Not often. He listened patiently
to all. seldom protecting himself even ,
from bores. I never saw him angry
but twice, and then only momentarily.
He turned one man ont of the room
and laid his hand on his shoulder U
hasten his departure if necessary.'
I asked if Mr. Lincoln comprehended
that he was in constant danger of his
lifa.
"Ol cours," said Colonel Nicolay.
"It was often discussed between his
friends and himself. They would say:
Now, Lincoln, you must look out and
be constantly on your guard. Some
crank is liable to come along and kill
you. His answer always was, I will
be earefuL But I can not discharge
my duties and withdraw myself en
tirely from danger of an assault I see
hundreds of strangers every day, and
if any one has the disposition to kill
me he will find opportunity. To be
absolutely safe, I should cock myself
up in a box.' Threatening letters
came, and these I always showed to
Mr. Lincoln, who generally turned
them over to the War Department"
W. A. CroffuU in Indianapolis Journal.
THE LADY OF LYONS.
A Sew and Teraetons Tersloa of
aa Old-
Fashioned Story.
An impression prevails among some
people that the Lady of Lyons was a
circus woman who went into the lions'
cage and performed them. Such was
not the case. She was a wealthy young
lady of Lyops, N. Y., who moved in
the first circles. She was strolling in
the garden one day when the gardener's
son, who was weeding an onion bed,
saw her and immediately fell in love
with her. He thought there never was
such a woman as Pauline, though he
couldn't make his pa lean that way,
nor his ma. Hearing of the young
man's infatuation, a couple of Pauline's
discarded lovers put up a job on her.
They dressed Claude in fine clothes and
introduced him to her as a Count He
was of no 'count as a simple gardener,
but as a supposed titled man he rose in
the social scale very greatly. He pict
ured to her in glowing colors his home
by the Lake of Conio, with its fruits of
gold, nickel-plated bananas, etc., and
she expected to be conveyed to it in a
nalace car, four sections to themselves.
Judge, then, of her vexation and dis
gust on being conveyed fci a bob-tailed
horse-car and landed his mother's
humble lodgings on the sixth floor of a
cheap tenement building. She the
npon aenounceu uiauae ana ma excep
tions, and he went off and enlisted to
fight Indians. He got an appointment
as an Indian Agent, amassed a hand
some fortune in a short time and came
back to claim his bride. Everything
was explained, except how he came to
get so much money, and Claude and
Pauline were re-united. Texas Sijt
tngs. .
.Nothing snows greater
of spirit than a haughty
abjectness
demeanor""
toward inferiors. ' .
"How do yorr get along without
watermelon in winter, U icle Joe?"
"Sah. dar a;n chickens ia win tab. .
Boston Courier.
A Little Maapprohension. Miss
Dewdrop "D n'tyou think Mr. Rose
bush has a very sensitive mouth?" Miss '
Riiyne (blushing violently) "How
should I know?" Tid-BUs. '
Nature usually keeps the general
run of things on an even pace. A
naturally hard heart is very apt to
grow harder, and a naturally soft
head Is equally certain to grow softer. '
N. Y. Ledaer.
A photographer la out with 'Sug
gestions to Sitters." We have sent a
marked copy to a mti who allows his
wife to take coal up three flights and
black all the children's shoes. J5wi
Imaton Free iVesa. -
r
.V--"1