JOB PRir iwrip SVSST rstPAt.t EXPRESS J. H. STIN'S Ac CO. Publishers Every A.- TERMS or 8LB-RltTION On. Tear g Bix Stnth 1 g Tbr. Month...-...... I Farabi. in advance.) TKKM8 OF ADVKRTIStUa. (LS04L.) Ona square, trtX hwertlon .....W W Each a4di.Unl uiHriioo 1 M (LOCAL) ... Local Notlow, per line : ........ IS emu rUfular advertisement. Inserted upon Hheral twm Joli PrlntiM Ec:3 j ; Legal Blanks, Bus'.ri. x Letter Heads, r Circulars, Executed la good py't and t VOL. I. LEBANON, OREGON, FRIDAY, ' SEPTEMBER 2, 1887. NO. 20. THE LEBANON SOCIETY NOTICES. tholr n.w hall In Monio Block, on Saturday IEBASON lODOE, NO. O O. T.t nrd T.ninf of sash , at Odd 11( s Hall HoSO LOWS NO. S8, A. O. V. W.. lbanoo. . Orer: MeU .ver, Sr and Wf Ins in the moots. F. H. RiMSOOn.. M. w . J. 8. COURTNEY. M. D., PHYSICIAN AMD SURGEON, LEBANON OREOOK. - 1ST CMc in Dr. Po.U'i Ra.id.noa. F. M. MILLER, ATTORNEY AT LAW Notary Public aud General Insurance Agt LEBANON." OREGON. Collections and other holiness proaaptly attended to. Offloe on Main ttmt DR. A. H. PETERSON, SURGICAL DENTIST, Filling and Extracting Teeth Specialty. LEBANON. OREGON. Office te reddenre, on Main street, next door north ot C. B. MontaiM' nfjw rmirtniw All work warranted. Charges reasonable. , C. H. HARMON. BARBER & HAIRDRESSER, LEBANON, OREGON. batIhc Hair Cotttnav and Bbampooinc la the BEST STYLES. V Patronage reapectfany solicited. St. Charles Hotel, LEBANON. Oregon. K. W. Ooraar Main ud ftheraan Stresta, two Blocks fctnet oi R &. po. J. NIXON, - Proprietor. Table Supplied with the Best the Market Affords. Baiapta Room and tb Beat Aooomaodattona Jar GENERAL, STAGE OFFICE.- J. O. ROLAND, Lehaa.si, Orft KAjtcrAcrrasm ajib dku.es iif Harness, Saddles, Bridles, Whips, Spurs, ....ASD 1U... Goods in the Saddlery Line. .Harness and Saddle Repaired Promptly and at LOW PRICES. LEBANON Xloat BiaiiIset RrHL St EELLEKBERCtER, lrprletrs. Fresh and Salted Beef and Pork, MUTTON, PORK, SAUSAGE, BOLOCNA and HAM. Bacon and Lard always on Hand. Main Street, Lebanon, Or. . L. CfcWAK, J. V. RaUBTC n. J. W. Ctsick. BANK Of LEBANON Lebanon, Oregon, Transacts a General Banking Business. Acoonn'i Kept SuVe:t to Check. EXCHANGE SOU) OS .; Hew Tort, San Francisco, Portland and Alnany, Orepn. GK w. smith:, Lebanon, DEALER Sto?esiiTfflra'Mron,Pi! ....MASU FACtVTRFJl OF Tin, Copper, Sheet- Iron. Ware, 12 VIS HLOIJrr, ISto. Ail kinds of Repairing Also keep Tlio WOVE T. S. PILLSBURY, Brownsville, Oregon. Practical . Watchmaker, .DEALER Watches, Jewelry, A COMPLETE Lafliss' ana Gents' JEWELRY. IS!, Bracelets, ROGERS & BROS.' SILVERWARE. Alt Unaranteed. All Work Warraateet First Dxr Karti of tie Citr HalL Mali Strci MITCHELL & LEWIS CO., Limited. Fartery: Rati we. Wis, Braarki tsrtl .!. S)t MANCPACTCRKRS OF THE MITCHELL FARM AND SPRING WAGONS. ini,wi.fimgiii urn jMJf'wwipwp.iiiiJiiipitaiawii.if z ( - ---- i 1 1 t'-.'v:- i syl; E- -: - - THE MITCHELL WAGON. Los. Header and Trucks: Dump, Hand and Road Carta; Open and Top Buggies, Phaetons, Carriages, Blackboards, and IIARIVESS. General Agents for Canton Clipper Plows, Harrows, Cultivator. Rsad Scrapers, Oslo Chilled Plows. Ideal Feed Mills asd Wind Mills, Knowl ton Hsy Rakes. Horse Powers, Wood Saws. Feed Cutters, etc We carry the largest and best assorted stock of Vehicles on the Northwest Coast. All our work Is built especially for this trade and fully warranted. Send for new 1887 catalogue. Mitchell & Lewis Co., Limited, 188, 190', 192 and 194 Front Street, Portland, Oregon. Our goods are sold by F. H. ROSCO & CO., Hardware Dealers, Lebanon, Or. GK E. EE ate h maker ....DEALER IN.... Watcnes, Clods, Jewelry, Silyer . AGKXT rockHford o o e o o o o Ou.ck-Trsii.5 T -itJ Repairing: j a Specialty, B. ftaral Ob er: In Mrralory On a O O O O wrninoiiT O U w w w v Fjitnntmm ITiMl ' (fuctor. and oLhW kaUwaysiaa. XSy 2 rnBer? - 7 .VV A-- I JV SAt ALSO AOBWT rOS THS ... Oregon IN Done at Short Notice. In stock WIKE BED, IN. Optical Goods. ASSORTMENT OF ROYAL ALLOY THIMBLES, LADIES' Cuff and Collar SETS, Chains, Pins, Etc. Hi-ownHviiie, Or. j m ...? j nir.y; uuia iy.-r- - U M A-KrlDlir, and .".Jeweler. Plated Ware and Optical Goods. FOR o o o o o o o WATCHES EXACTWO All Work SERVICE Guaranteed ctMrnlfed u TIC BS8T. Sold etxaadctowna o o o o o o o i uaartliia Wfi.nl, wiifa a, isle BLUE EYES. rWTst inske. your eves so Woe, my dearf" The lorcr axked, tn the spring of the y ssr. 'The color 1 enuht In the Bosky dell, Where the choicest forget-me-nots do dw0.M "What makes your eyes so blue, my wife" The himlinnd asked In the sittnmnr of Ufs. They mIiow the hue of th ocean dfVp, Vbre your measureless love In oiy heart I kwp." "What make, your eye so bluef quite low, The father asked In the autumn", glow. "Beenuse the pure love of our rti'ldreu dear lveeiw them fresh srd youthful from yssr to year." "Whs makes your eyes so bine snd brlghtf The old man ssked In the wintry night. " "Tl becsiiEe they reflect the heaven shore. Where we shall continue our earthly lore." t nd A. Hunt in Vucae JXtve. DOGS WHO OWNED HDL Stories Showing How They seased Their "Master." Poa- Old Fop Who At. Fruit Small Fca With Big Heart Nora's Way of Prying i Vp a Window Restless flrt. 1 I have been owned bj a good many dog in the courso of inj life, and I ani not a lRUe proud of the fact They say it is a good sign in a man when children and dogs take kindly to him. All dogs take kindly to me, and I look upon it as an indorsement of some merit in my charaoter. The first desire of every well-balanced dog is to own a man. Without sueh a possession he is spurned by hia fellows and despised by small boys. All degs know at once whether a Btranger of their own rare owns a man or not. Whether it is the bang of his ears and tail, or a general negligence about his personal appearance, or lack of ewnfulence in his general bearing, I can not say, but pertain it is that all well-fixed, or ill-fixed, dogs at once de tect a manless brother bow-wow. The tramp-dog recognizes his fellow tramp dogs, and consorts with him. There are dogs who are tramps by nature, who will nerer stick to a mas ter; but such cases, I am happy to tay, are rery rare more rare than eren tramp-cats, who, one would think, from thehr raturnl love of warmth and com fort, would jump at any kind of a de cent heme. And yet I am personally acquainted with several tramp-cats, aud Tery nice, dwent cats. too. Som men think they own dogs, andj perhaps a few of them do, but as a gen eral rule the dog owns the man. For my pnrt, 1 would not care two straws for a dog I had to own. I prefer being owaed. and glory in my servitude. . The first dog I remember who took posesinn of me was a black and white spaniel, which my father brought home when I was a boy. It selected me at once, out of fix children, as its master, and it clove to me ever after. We chris tened him Fop. lie was not a fop, however, but a rather grouty old dog, with a chronic growl, which meant nothing. I have never seen another dog with that growl. He would growl and wag his tail at the same time. II growled when he was pleased. Just as a cat purrs. lie was a most intelligent dog, and understood every word I said te him. There was no need of any motion tf the hands, or even of the mouth or eye It was not necessary even to look at him to make him comprehend. He used to be in bv4taes if I would allow him to accompany me' in my walks; but were I going to any place where I could not take him, I had only to say, "Fop. go home," and he would sink slowly back, looking round every now and then with the most piteous ex pression, in hope of seeing some show of relenting on my part. Then, if I did relent, he would come tearing after me and whirl himself round and round, like a pin-wheel on the Fourth of July. Fop was very fond of fruit, and would make excursions round the garden when the gooseberries were ripe and pick them off the bushes. In cherry time 1 used often to climb up the trees to pick the fruit (perhaps no boy ever did such a thing before), which I would throw down, while Fop kept guard below. He never thought of touching one till I gave htm permission, but when I said: "Those are for you. Fop," he would pounce on the bunch indicated like a cat on a mouse, and gobble it up immedi ately.. ' Fop used to do many wonderful things, I am certain, though I forget now what they were, for he reigned forty yean ago. He stuck to me faithfully for many years, and, I know, would nevet have given me up, had he not been stolen one day in the crowded streets. I never saw the poor fellow again. The mest dog, I remember, who owned me was a King Charles spaniel, which was so small that it could stand on the palm of my hand. She took possession of me; so I had to buy her for two dollars and a half, which was a pretty good price for a dog in those days. Though her body was small, her heart was as big as a lion's. She was afraid of nothiug, and would have at tacked an ironclad if it had come in her way. One day I saw her run after and furi ously assail a huge Newfoundland dog, big enough to swallow her whole like an oyster. As soon as the big dog be came aware that he was attacked, he turned round his head, gave one look at the tiny, aggressor, and then, with the magnanimity peculiar to dogs, walked on without taking any further notice. Another time I took her out to walk across the fields to a place where they were building a railway bridge over a dike or ditch about forty feet wide. The roadway of the bridge was not completed, but a single beam of timber ran from the top" of one bank to the Over this I crossed, but my little dog Fan did not notice it. When she saw me at the- other side, she scampered down to the water's edge, and after sniffing at it once or twice, plunged in and swam after me. The middle of the stream was filled with weeds, and in these she became so entangled that it seemed to me she must inevitably drown. I had just made up my mind to jump in after her for I could no more have seen her than a human being perish--when she managed to break . loose Sut winvj, out of the water she presented a inos' wolul appearance, her long silky hair clinging to her slender body, her head and tail drooping, and her back all drawn op with the cold. I thought she would surely die, or at least forever after lose her courage. we had two and a half miles to walk before reaching any house, and I at fira thought of carrying her in my arms, but then I made up my mind It would be safer to keep her in mot ion. So we hur ried on as fast as we could till we reached a tavern, and there some warm milk and water and a comfortable fire soon made her all right A few days after, while pursuing a bird, she came to .another litch, but without a moment's hesita tion, in she plunged and swam across. ro my delight I found she had not lost one particle of her courage. When I left that part of the country. Fan and I had to part But I hunted ip a good, faUld man. and. gave turn U, her; and I am sure she treated him well if he only behaved himself properly, for she was a very kind little dog. The next dog that owned me was a Scotch collie or shepherd's dog. Howl came into her possession I can not re member, but she owned me for nearly twoyesrs. I was then living at a plai-e on the Hudson, a nrher retired spot a little way from the high road. One day, when I was away from home, a peddler walked into the kitchen, and seatins himself at a table, demanded something to eat My wife told him she had noth ing for him, and requested him to leave. He then grew insolent and said he should remain as ln as he pleased. My wife then told him if he did not go site would call the dn. "Oil!" he replied, smilingly, "call your noff. I m not afraid of dogs." Mv wife went to the dour, and called: "Nora! Nora!M The dog came bounding in, "Here. Nora, turn this man outr Without a bark or a growl (Scotch collie, never say much), Nora flew at the peddler s throat and tumbled him him over in the dint for he had scram bled to the door. I do not know what would have lv- come of the rascal had not my wife called the dog oft As it was, the ped dler pieked np hk pack and stick, and started down the road as fat as his legs would carry him. One day we were attracted by a furious and conditions barking in a field adjoining my place, and, on going to the spot we found Nora mountiug guard in front of a woodehuck's burrow, to which the old woodchuck was trying to retreat Th sagacious dog Evidently know that the safest plan to capture the gnme was to cut off his communication with his citadel, and call for help, so she 'towi there for an honr, barking, till we cam. Nothing would induce her to quit the post which she felt was the key to the situation, till we had secured the rodMt and then her ecstasy was un bounded. She capered and grinned and laughed, and said, as plain as dog could savj "I did it. Wasn't I smart?" Nora was a great excursiorrit; it was her only fault I think she went to the different farm-houses round about in search of the companionship of sheep. On my farm I had only some ducks and chickens and a pig. And what are pigs and poultry to the soul of a dog accus tomed to command a legion of nimble, curly-homed sheep on a wild Scotch moorf Disapproving of Nora's roving habits i finally tied her up in a loft over a tool bone, and also locked her in. The next morning when I went to feed her, sh'j was gone. She had gnawed the rope in two, opened the window, and jumped about fifteen feet to the ground. The gnawing and jumping, tfiwugh acts of extreme audacity, were easily under stood, nut, to oucn the window, she must have thoroaghly studied the sub ject, and put her nose to extreme physi cal pain in forcing it up. Nora disap leared one day, and never came back. I feel satisfied she must have been forcibly detained, probably by some farmer who had sheep and knew her value. The next 1 find on my list of canine proprietors is a little half-and-half Scotch terrier and poodle. I firt met her in a drug store in Orange, N. J., on a damp, drizzling, miserable night I discovered her, wet and muddy and miserable as the night itself, cowering in one corner of the store. The drug gist did not know who she was or where she came from. I addressed a few cas ual remarks to, her on the state of tin. weather and her own personal appear ance. She took possession of me at once. When I left the store she fol lowed mo home. I invited her in and gave her m good supper, which she seemed to enjoy heartily. After that her kindness and affection knew no bounds. She was never hap py, save in my society; and when 1 left the houso for any length of time, which I generally had to do surreptitiously, she would rummage all over the estab lishment from garret to cellar, explor ing even the most unlikely places, ap parently thinking I might be concealed under washtubs, on shelves, behind trunks, anywhere everywhere. When t last she reached the sad con viction that I had really left the prem ises, she would hunt up some article of dress belonging toie, carry it to my sanctum, scramble on to a table with it in her mouth, and laying her head down upon it there wait till I come home. Poor little Fidget! How I loved that lit tle dog! We had christened her Fidget because she was such a restless little thing. There never was such a fly-about in the world. Now she wuild jump on a chair and bark out of the window at nothing: then she would made a dash at the cat, and roll her over and over, till she got in a rage and acted ugly,, then Fidget would give a sharp bark and look at me fixedly for a few seconds, pretending that she had never thought about .the cat at all. If I returned her glance shi would begin to wag her tail, although, by-the-way it, was difficult to tell which was th$ right end of her, unless was ruijnHg, and thon you only kv be cause you were certain mat sue wouni ucj . run backwwiu, ..JQ a muff, a bundle of rags, an old bonnet a.iy thing. As long as Fidget was with us we al ways knew what our neighbors had for dinner on the previous day. She used to sc'iMir the adjoining back yards and gardens, and bring home all the loose bones that might be lying rennd, and deposit them on the mat .outside onr front door. One day I foand there the whole skeleton of a turkey, two ehep Hones and a shin of beef, besides frag ments of dried toast buckwheat cakes, corn mufiins and cold potatoes. It was the holiday season and the folks had evidently been lfviitg well in ny sec tion, and Fidget had been industrious. I well remember her short bark of de light when I opened the door, and she directed one end of her bod j towards me, which I knew to be her bow, so to speak, from two little, glistening, brown dots bidden under a tangle of loug hair, which I recognised as her eyes, and another little black dot be tween them, which represented her nose. I remember, too, the indescriba ble wiggle of her whole body, which passed with her for tail wagging, and the extraordinary cyclone of gyrations, till she gyrated herself off the top of the stoop, and with a yelp ' at each bump, landed sober, bat serene, at the bottom. When Fidget was not foraging round in the neighbors' yards, she frequently entertained her friends on the front stoop all the ragtag and bobtail kiyus. as well as the aristocratic setters and Newfoundlands, in the neighborhood. One day I was disturbed by a furious barking and general commotion in front f U'i house, and. on going to the door, discovered our rector's wif kept at bay at the front gate by a ftraage pack of hnunds. comprising a spotted coach dog, a spitz, a black, shaggy beast of some unknown variety, ami a small "yaller" dog, all friends of Fidget The poor lady, I found, had a peculiar dread of igs. so her feelings may be imagined, but my rage and indignatioa can not To think of my visitors, and .the minis ter's wife at that beingUrivea from the door by a ragamiinia vol a a tear guard of strangers. O, it was too much! I prove the guard away, punished Fidget and npolonj!ed to the lady. My children had a little wagon to which they harnesed Fidget By pa tient training thnf- managed to run their them round the garden sometimes without accidetit Grown confident with this success, ambition soon fol lowed, and they longed for a wider field of action. One day my wife sent them to the grocery at the comer of the street, about a hundred and fifty yards ff, te make a few ptrrchaaes. They harnessed Fidget to the wagon, and trotted down to the store In style and safety. In about fifteen minutes they returned, my son carrying Fidget and the shattered wagon in his arms, and my little daughter, with her apron and little band piled up with burst and broken packages of groceries. That was the last time Fidget was nsed for the express business. They had loaded ;?p the wagon. Fidget had seen a friend across the street and there was an end ..fit I afterward removed to the village hotel, where Fidget's habit of inviti ng her friends into the premises can-ted the landlord some annoyance. One day she disappeared, and I never saw her again. I sadly fear there was foul play somewhere kidnaping, or per haps worse. Poor little Fidget! she was the last dog that ever owned me. Frank Belief, it Oolden Day$ Killing White Grubs. . The larva of the May beetle, nsualW called the white grab, is the insect which most often eats the young pota toes, causing the scab or scaly appear ance of the matured tubers. This larva lives In the soil three years, and the best means of eradicating the pest is to throw out the fieM from the rotation and turn in hogs to root out the pest. In relation to destroying insect pes!.- generally, the application of salt nm be excessive, so much se as to injure crops. Lime has no influence on soil insects nnless appSed in immoderate quantities, and even then there is no definite conclusion that lime will de stroy. Farm, Field awi Stockman. OCULAR ADVICE. How the rjttmin K re. War B Kept la Serviceable ndition. I) not walk with your eyes on the ground; the gravel is apt to .wear the sight off. - Never gut up in I he morning u itil you have first opened your eyes, if it takes you until noon. Many a voting man ha a young woman in his eye, who will effctu:illy impair his sight the remainder of his life. Never throw yonr eyes suddonly to the hard pavement; you are likely to cripple them. Do not try to look too far Into the the depths of ths eyes of the young lady; it is certain to make you near dghted. . When p-:ople tell you they see mis chief in your eyes, you should go to an" oculist and have it removed. . In keeping one eye on your neigh bor, 3-oii should frequently change the eye. I know a young man who pcrmenent ly injured his eyes by trying to see the bald spot coming on t 'p of his head. Some men have glass for an eye. That is bad, but it Is worse to have an eye for the glass. It is said to be a good thing to "keep an eye out" hut it is better to keep two eyes in. - Never s:ra;n your eyes in trying. ! s.-e the good you have done in tin world. O her great "Oculists, besides myself, have HK-erted that the best thing foi eyes is never to call another, man a liar. A. IK BeUaw.' in Tid-BUs. Fifty Thousand Years Hence. Professor of University of Timbnctoo "You can perceive, gentlemen, that we are descended from this extinct anircn" called man, a half-developed crelJ whose tail was not grown." Tid-bt Mr. Danaviarr consults his dent f ' "Excruciating pain in yonr teeth. yjy say?" inquired the practitioner. rible!" " "How often does it come w4 THE COST OF APRON rate re. tin. Fact Supplied by An lailas trtoai Tonus' ffomaav A reporter who is luxuriating in his boarding house with a broken ankle was atlo .red to sit beside the sewing machine the other day by way of pastime. Hie Instrument is run by the landlady's daughter, not so mueb-for her own amusement as to augment the receipts of the house. As sooh as the breakfast dishes are put away, say eight o'clock p. m., she sits down to her work and dies not leave It until 5:30 p. m., with the exception of . a half hour for luncheon. She is employed by a firm who make a specialty of white aprons for children. Aprons cut and with the trimming by the pieea. are sent to her in quantity. The ma terial used is a thin sleazy lawn, which costs the manufacturer five cents a 'yard, double wid:h. by the case, and a cotton edging at 1 cent a yard. Each apron reqtiii.es somewhat less than a yard of lawn, including the strings, and 2 yards of edging. The thread nsed is Ni. 90 cotton, each spool containing 200 yards. This spool, with the addition of another which win is 5 "hobbins." makes 110 400 siitchts ;f 16 to the inch. There are 9.824 stitches covering the 614 inches of sewinj required in each apr-m, whk-h has to " pass undar the nedle bar 48 times. .In making the tacks and hems 16 fd ling are required before sewing. Theonter layer of a N 90 spod of thread has 113 winds upon it and the thread :s 1-60 of an inch in diameter. . 0;i the innermost layer there are 83 winds, and there are ?0 layer. In I he spool. Th thread is eapable of sustaining a weight of 23 onncea. If the machine does not "act np." but "works to a charm." as the oper ator expre-ses it, she can finis'i 9 aprons daily, for "ncb. she receives 60 oenta She returns them to her employers lit Jots of 6 dozens, and pays the express charges f 15 cents from her owu pocket The manufact urer sells them just &3 - fee . receives them to the jobber, who J.-ptoj-s oili er operatives to make the necessary buttonholes and sew on the buttons. They then pass into th? hands of the retailor, who sells them to the public at the rate of f 6 a doe:i. It does not require any very ab struse mathematical calevlation to ar rive at the cot of each apron. In verr rontid nutnler it is: C. 1 ... S j M-ikms-., Ct. Lawn.. ThreaS sad express- 1 To'fM...... .......Sn are l Add to this the cot of bn: tons and button-holes at two emt ami you get the figure. When it is said that the house which employes the landlady's daughter has in its employ nndcr its own roof over 2X)opjrative- who work on machines run by steam power, each capable of turning out nearly two doaen apron each day, and has near'y ts many more oper.itires who have their work sent to them at their homes, which are in all the towns and ban lets lying in a radius of fifty miles rf that city, some idea is conveyed of the total number of doa-ns turned out and when it is taken into considera tion that the cost of them is $2.61 a' .iozen, and that they retail for it is but fair to snrmise that there is a "leedle brofit" somewhere, of whieh. it may be, the sewing machine opera tive get her fair share. At any rate, these facts and figures, evolved wlule the rep wr-cr's bones were knitting and the landlady's dansrhter was sewing, are respectfully submit ted. .V. 1. Sun. DANGEROUS WIRES. the Frlnelpal f ane of fire, la Telecraph and TelepKuoe Offices. "How do the fires beh ind the switch boards in te'ezranh and telephone fiices originate?" CUv Electrician Barrett was asked recently. "By the electric s ark passing from ne wire to . another and igniting the cotton covering, wh'ch has become frayed by use," he replied. Is it possible tn prevent these tires?" . " - "Yes. A lead-eoverd wire can be used, and all damage of fire avoided." "Then why don't the telegraph com panies use that kind of wire?" -. BecHUse It costs about four times a much as the other." 'What causes the electric spiirk to pass from one wire to another?" 'The spark or cunvnt always seeks the shortest route to the ground, and wheie two wir-s are close toge;.her. as wires always arc in large switc hlmards, the curre it will leave the one which is the furtlie from the ground for the other. " . "Hon- d- cs this cause a fi" " "The cot. on vers of th- : - art generally oak.-d in paraGl . as this evaporates it leaves the cotton perfectly dry and i'lfl -trainable. Con slant use wears the cotton and leaves the wire exposed, and as the electric spark jumps from "one wire to the oth er it ignites the cott n. As there are generally a gre'at many wire with the frayed cotton hanging from, their ends qnly a slight spark wilt ignite them all, and in a moment there is a big blaze behind, which nnless extin juished at once, communicates to the lioard itself, which is generally of wood. This, of course, gives the fire a start, and after that you know as much about what happens as any one else." Chicago Tribune. : A Real Work of Art Boston Young Lady (in theconntry) And did yon really paint the barn yonrself. Uncle James? Uncle Jam. Yes. Boston Young .Lady By hand? Uml James Sartin. B ston Young Lady (fetching hei breath) Think of it. a band-paiuter barn? Ar. Y. Sun, "Of course I have no objection to yur bavin? a beau, Jennie," said the fond father to his marriageable daugh- ,"but you must not keep mm so late. ' ning a fire running all night length Hhe coal bill, ycnTtnovf". "That is papa,'' gurgled the fair'girl. "bnt 1 thonjrl't of that and eonfloeatIy ' w -. ?as will otlet ihe ad- SMART SCHOLAf - Same Benaarlcsble InfarmaU-4 by 1'uliUo Sc'.iO'jl - The Alaginnis are monr - adeipliia. - .'" ' The Eocij Mininti'i? n western side of Fl.Ilj.'iIj The first censjl-'sri-f:- fn Philadelphia. . f A verb is soirieih -, to - A eirr-le is a roa:'d t:i . a hole in the middle. The principal products of, tT;e Ua. States is earthquakes and t " -a' .-a. Climate lasts all the v.." weather only a lew days. In Austria the principal ty i ' , Is gathering austrich feather-i. Ireland is called the Emirr. - : because it is so beautiful and :' " - The imports of a country ..... , . . . . , . , " wings mat are pata 101, f:e exj . v j .. the things that are not" 5 Queen Isabella, of Spain, sol; watch and chain and other mtilmc -that Columbus could di-o?rf A : The Indians pursued ilieir v by hiding in the bushes aud th , ing them. Gorilla warfare was where nit on gorillas. Alfred the Cfreat reignel a.i yet. He was distinguished for ietE;j buckwheat eakes burn and tLe Lii; scolded him. . . Lord James Gordon Banoett i. gated the Gordon riots. t - The middle ages come in Lttr antiquity and posterity. : ' Lather introduced Chrisiirr i- - England a good many thousand j ' ago. His birthday was sotobiIu 1883. He was once a pope. He Hvt; at the time of the rebellion on wonr.' Socrates destroyed some statutes ar' had to drink shamrock. "Braeebridge Hall" was written 1 Henry Irving. Shakespeare translated the Script ur and it was called St James fceea-ae did it. Chancer was succeeded by II V7& 1? worth Longfellow, an Ameriirt ? His writings were cbitfly prfr '' nearly one hundred ysars ekJuiZ. j- A sort of sadic.-s kind of a Lone -j Bryant's poems. " i " ft Holmes is a very profitable an amusing writer. The Constitution of the Unifed S:V--s is that part of the book at the tt:.c-r end that nobody reads; s Congress is divided Into eirl'Asi, half-civilized and savage. The stomach is a small pear-shaped bone situated in the body. nehave an npper and lower tkj " The lower skin moves all the ti:oe a the npper skin moves when we do. - - back of the mouth and extends to tAe stomach. The weight of the earth is fonnd bv comparing a mass ot known lead with that of a mass of unknown lead. Mart Ttcain, in Century. WEIGHT OF A SIGNATURE. A Wonderful Parr of Scales That Welsh the Hairs On st Man's Head. la a Broadway store, which, is a branch of a big oat-of-town scale fac tory, are more different kinds f scales than most people imagine were ever made. .There "are specimens of every grade of weighing machines, from the lit (T f !- k" C -5 1 iS tk.f IPOI'ylk . .nil. road car in 11 01 pig seaa down to a t.ay balance so fine that It is kept in a g!a. Cflju. which ronTil Ka ci rrti in nr.d'a pocket The smallest scales of all are made for delicate tests in assaying.- Tbey are adjusted to milligrammes and are so sensitive and so fine that an eye lash can be correctly weighed on them. Vnn can writ, rrtiir rt-ima rtn a sVtn nt paper with a lead pencil and then find out just how much yonr signature weighs. The weights the more atoms of aluminum, not half so is r're sis the head of a pin. The machine is s -, delicate that a little dust blowing it from the street might affect its wo;", ings, and it has to be carefully c-WifJ after each exposure. It is made of aluminum, platinum and the finest tempered steel, and people do not use it as a plaything as a general rale. It cost as much as its weight in gold. Every once in awhile a skeptic comes along who doesn't believe it will weigh a hair from a man's head, and if tee mansrrOf the store has plenty of time athi$ iiisptrral he will bring out the wonderful little marine ahrrger?t it A reporter happened m the otikiir wmie me operation was going on. xne manager took a slip of ordinary writing paper and weighed it ----- It weighed thirtv-eisht miliisrrammes. He then' gave it to the visitor with a lead pencil, and" the visitor wrote "John Henry Lamed" on it in a fall, free hand. Then the manager pat the slip back oa the scale and fixed the little weights. When he struck a balance again he bad forty-three milligrammes on the other side. The signature weighed precisely five milligrammes. ; - - -" Then the man pulled a hair out of hia head, and the manager fonnd it weighed three milligrammes. - An eye-lash weighed-a little le&s . tha? e&a milli- a I- ' - . l- . t .- 1. . weighed five milligrammes. . The manager showed how easy it was to count the hair on a man's head. At the rate of three milligrammes to a hair there would be 8,000 haics in an ounce. The man probably had three ounces of hair on his head and therefre 24.0CS' x IT : . r - T T y Two of the wealthiest Episcopal churches in New York. Grace and Trinity, have determined to make their pews free to the public. There are now in the Prib tejian Church in Ireland more than f " con gregations, with 656 ministers and 102.000 commanicants. "The Schoolmaster's Cl i'i - claimed Tommy, reading fn- ; newspaper. "My jiniinyl I s?' : like to go to his school !" - . There are 1,00) rj-'-e .-.".a . the gospel in Lofidon ' oirdained missionaries in" the heathen -Vh.u the number beitf) spectively. " ' . -- - r. - .-..IBS''-' . God 's - -All t- - " . ' - - . I. F. k H. JL-S;is&Sewic&Mac Collections Made Tjfavor" rhle Tern?