Intermountain tribune and Linn County agriculturalist., December 11, 1913, Image 4

PECULIAR CLIENTS
BEAT THE GAS METER.
it Was a Cold Swindle, and the Com­
pany Paid For the Secret.
The most adroit scheme yet reported
to beat the gas meter and get gas for
nothing was discovered in Honolulu,
and its success was due to the use of a
modern scientific laboratory apparatus.
The customer was supplied with gas
coming through a common quarter in
the slot meter, a quarter dropped into
the meter supplying gas to the burners
until a quarter’s worth of the illumi­
nant has been used, when the flames
begin to die out and warn the custom­
er that another quarter is* required.
The collectors for the Honolulu com­
pany regularly opened this meter to
take out the expected quarters, but
they never found any. A watch kept
on the house showed that gas was be­
ing used every night. The customer
explained it by saying that he was
using gas as he had done for years,
but that he did not drop any quarters
in the slot because the gas kept com­
ing without them. A new meter was
put in. but the next collection trip did
not bring any quarters, nor were there
slugs or any other substitutes found in
the meter. Every few days then a
newly tested meter was^ put in. but
the customer continued to use gas. and
the company found no quarters.
At last the company surrendered and
offeréd to pay the customer a sum of
money if be would tell his scheme,
promising not to prosecute. He agreed
and took the inspectors to his little
laboratory. First he showed a little
mold to cast disks about the size of
quarters. In this he poured water, and
then in a few seconds, by means of an
ether spray freezing machine, such as
is in common use in science, he froze
the water. Thus -he had an ice disk
the size of a quarter. This was drop­
ped into thé meter slot, and the gas
came.
The Ice melted inside of the meter,
and the few drops of water quickly
ran out. leaving no trace of his trick.—
Saturday Evening Post.
•
______ :___ _
Cranks With Whom Lawyers
Sometimes Have to Deal.
QUEER CASES OUT OF COURT.
“Ancestor" Clients Are Quite Common,
•nd Their Claims Are Just About aS
Visionary as Those of Numerous
Patent Seekers Are Freakish.
ter was a n ordina ry wOOdfen clothespin
with a little wire point on top. On the
latter fresh flowers might be stuck,
thereby, according to the inventor,
“giving the clotheslines the appearance
of flower gardens.” He saw a fortune
from the sale of his pins in cities.
When the lawyer assured him that,
besides the fact that there was more
sentimentality than practicability to
his invention, a pin stuck in the end
of the wood would serve just as effec­
tively as the “invented” piece of wire,
the client threatened to bring suit
against him for “violation of confi­
dence.”
Another patent lawyer said that the
oddest client^ who had ever come to
hitfi was a young woman who wanted
his help In getting a patent, literally,
on an “idea.”
“What Is your idea?” asked the law­
yer curiously.
The young woman refused to tell
him. saying that she hesitated to di­
vulge the nature of her Idea until it
had been secured by patent. “I won’t
trust anybody with it. not even you.”
she told the lawyer.
Like the famous Anneke Jans heirs,
there are numerous strange cases of
so called “ancestor clients” to be had
from the lawyers.
One of the oddest of these is cited
by a New York lawyer of wide prac­
tice “Not long ago.” he says, “there
came to my office a woman who insist­
ed that she owned the lower part of
the Hudson river, having inherited it
from Henry Hudson, her ancestor ‘by
right of discovery.*
“If this seems an exaggerated ease
I shall cite a second one that is stron­
ger still. Last winter a man. who said
he had been recommended to me by a
‘spirit* at a seance he had attended
several nights previous, wanted me to
prove his title to the land upon which
the subtreasury building stands. He
told me that it had been given to an
ancestor of his by George Washington
out of gratitude for the former’s loan
of a coat during one oY the campaigns
of the Revolutionary war. Curious
claimants to land through ancestors
are regular visitors to lawyers* offices.
There are hundreds of stories about
them, and the two quoted are fair
criteria.**—New York Tribune.
“What is the most peculiar case that
has ever been brought to you by a
prospective client?” was the question
put not long ago by the writer to one
of the ablest lawyers in New York.
The lawyer said that''probably the
oddest client who had ever visited him
was a woman about forty years old,
who wanted to bring suit against one
of the Sunday newspapers for not hav­
ing printed an account of her latest
“social function” on its society page,
as she had particularly requested over
the telephone.
As the second oddest client, he cited
the case of another woman who had
come to him in tears and sought to en­
list his legal aid in making her hus­
band stop flirting. • ’‘The woman as­
sured me that she loved her husband
and that she knew her husband loved
her, but that he had a habit of wink­
ing at every good looking woman he
saw.” said the lawyer. “When 1 told
her‘there was no legal redress for her,
inasmuch as she said 1 was a fool if 1
even thought she or her husband want­
ed a divorce, she exclaimed that I was
the poorest lawyer she had ever heard
of and left my office in a rage.”
The same question was put to sever­
al other lawyers and an unbelievably
peculiar assortment of would be clients
was revealed through their answers.
One patent lawyer cited the case of
a man who asked him to represent him
for two months at the patent office in
HORSEPOWER.
Washington. “1 want you to go there,
stay there and represent me.” he said.
Origin of the Term as Applied to the
“But.” interposed the attorney, “what
Steam Engine.
in the world do you want me to do
Among many engineers there arises while I am there?”
discussion as to the incidents surround­
The man drew his chair close to the
ing the origination of the term horse­ lawyer’s and in low tones told the at­
power as applied to the steam engine. torney that he had invented an “aero­
The following quotation from “Farey plane clock.” as he called it. and that
on the Steam Engine.” published in he wanted him to go to the patent of­
1827. will be welcomed by many:
fice and prevent any other inventor I
“The machinery in the great brewer­ “from sneaking in a similar invention
ies and distilleries in London was then while the authorities are in a careless
|
moved by the strength of horses, and mood.”
the proprietors of those establishments
The man seemed to be in his normal
who were first to require Mr. Watt’s senses despite the fact that his highly
engines always inquired what number prized invention was absolutely noth­
of horses an intended engine would be ing more than a small watch fastened
equal to.
in a leather case, the sort that may be
“In consequence Mr. Watt nLade seen in stores anywhere. When he
some experiments on the strong horses had Imparted this information the law­
employed by the brewers in London yer pointed out that there was noth­
and found that a horse of that kind« ing patentable about his “invention.”
walking at the rate of two and one-
“There isn’t, eh?” shouted the man.
half miles an hour, could draw 150 “Indeed there is!
Who has ever
pounds avoirdupois by means of a rope thought before this of putting a clock
passing over a pulley, so as to raise up in an airship?”
that weight, with a vertical motion, at
The attorney sought to humor him
the rate of 220 feet per minute. This and said. “Wouldn’t a watch in the
exertion of mechanical power is equal aviator’s pocket do as well?”
to 33,000 pounds (or 528 cubic feet) of
The man jumped up. “That’s just
water raised vertically through a space the point!” he cried. '“It would not do
df one foot per minute, and he denomi­ as well, because it might fall out.”
nated it a horsepower, to serve for a
Against such logic the attorney said
measure of the power exerted by his he found himself helpless, and he told
steam engines.”
the man he feared the case was too
This estimate Is much beyond the difficult for him to handle.'
capacity of the average strong horse.
Another strange client who visited a
Smeaton and other early engineers es­ patent lawyer wanted to secure a pat­
timated that 22.000 pounds per minute ent on a “flower .clpt^espjn.” The lat­
was more accurate.—Power-
When in Lebanon go to the
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION
(PUBLISHER)
Sanitary Barber Shop
DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR
J. F. MALONE, P rop .
U. S. Land Office at Portland, Oregon
October 31, 1913
NOTICE is hereby given that Elsie Dorsey
of Foster, Oregon, who, on April 11, 1912,
made Homestead Entry, No. 03450, for NE 1-4
NW 1-4, S 1-2 NW 1-4, SW 1-4 NE 1-4, Section 24,
Township 13 South, Range 2 East, Willamette
Meridian, has filed notice of intention to make
Final Commutation Proof, to establish claim to
the land above described, before the County
Clerk of Linn County, Oregon, at Albany, Oregon
on the 17th day of December, 1913.
Claimant names as witnesses:
Joseph Steingrandt, John Short, William Dun-
den and John Buchanan, all of Foster, Oregon.
H. F. HIGBY, Register
11-6
Clean Towels and
Prompt Service
Intermouutain
per year.
Rocking Chair Signa.
An observant Atchison woman says
she can tell from the way a woman
rocks on her front porch what condi­
tion the house behind her is in. If
she sways back and forth with a
floppy, comfortable motion, plumping
both feet down in a relaxed sort of
way. then everything about the house
is absolutely clean and neat. But if
she rocks in little nervous jerks, tap­
ping her feet down at short and irregu­
lar intervals, it signifies that there
are unmade beds behind her and
stacks of unwashed dishes and dusty
floors.—Atchison Globe.
LEBANON, ORE.
BRUER BROS. Props.
Temporarily Handicapped.
Mr. Doughleigh—I met that French
nobleman. Count de Brie, today. Dot­
ty Doughleigh—Really. Is he a bril­
liant conversationalist? Mr. Dough­
leigh- Well. no. not at present He has
rheumatism in his shoulders.—Judge.
The eventless time is the happy
time, hut we do not realize that till wo
have had the exciting experiences
which break ns.
An Unfortunate Drawback,
Trojan Stumping Powder
MAGAZINES AT ALBANY AND SALEM ORE.
........ Prices on Application-----------------
Harley Davidson Motorcycles
THE 1914 MODELS ARE NOW ON DISPLAY
Guns, Bicycles, Sporting Goods
A detective was trying to get a few
facts from the man who had employed
him to hunt for a runaway boy. “Has
he any distinguishing marks about
him?” he asked.
“Yes.” said the father, frowning im­
patiently. “The distinguishing mark
about him. sir. is that he looks like
me.”
“H’m.” mused the detective; “1
should scarcely call that a distinction.
That’s a handicap!”
Caruso’s Dinner Engagement.
MAIL
ORDERS
ARE
GIVEN
PROMPR
ATTENTION
ALBANY GUN STORE
Albany, Ore.
HAUSER BROS, Props.
-
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Salem, Ore.
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Mortgage Loans Negotiated
Oregon
Notary Public
B. H. CHESS
ATTORNEYATLAW
Office en Main St.
Lebanon,
You May Pay Less
BUT YOU WILL NOT GET WORK
THAT IS SO GOOD AS WE DO.
You May Pay More
*
BUT YOU WILL NOT GET WORK
THAT’S ANY BETTER, IF AS GOOD
These statements refer to Photograph
work. Our facilities are complete.
We use only the best material, and
our prices are reasonable for first
class work. We do no other kind.z
We always satisfy our customers.
A. E. EDWARDS,
SWEET HOME, OREGON
Absolutely Free
One Years Subscription
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T O TH E
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Intermountain Tribune
Sandwich Man Is Old.
The walking advertisement known
as a “sandwich man** is by no means
a modern idea. In 1346 a procession
of men dressed to represent straw cov­
ered wine bottles used to parade the
streets of Florence. Italy, being hired
by the wine merchants there.
Mr. Knagg—It may be true, as you
say. you were too young to marry me.
Mrs Knagg— Don’t try to shift the
blame: yon were too old for me.—Chi­
cago News
We furnish the best dinner in the valley for 25 cents
$1.25
Sweet Home
They All Wear Two«.
Manager of Shoe Store—I’ve tried
my best to attract the women to this
place and they simply won’t come.
Salesman — No wonder! Your sign
queers the trade. Manager (heatedly)
—What’s wrong with the sign? Sales­
man—It reads. “The Big Shoe Store”
•^-Lippincott' s.
Placing the Blame.
Home Restaurant
For Your Dinner
Tribune
BATHS IN CONNECTION
When the late J. Pierpont Morgan of­
fered Enrico Caruso $1.200 some years
ago to sing at an evening party in his
house the singer coolly answered that
he could not possibly oblige, as he had
invited his lifelong friend. Leoncaval­
lo, to dinner the same night—Boston
Herald.
The Tribune has secured a number of
Excelsior Combination Kitchen
Sets, consisting of eight
useful articles for use
in the kitchen, viz
One large Butcher knife, worth........... —........
-50 efts
One Bread knife, worth
— ---.
— ......... 30 ¿ts
One kitchen Cleaver, worth............ .... ........................ 75 efts
One Paring knife, worth... .......................10 dts
One large fork, worth -...............................
20 ¿is
One Meat Saw, worth.......... ................................
-50 cSts
One can opener, worth—.——................... 10 efts
One emery knife sharpener, worth.......... ---»-............ 5 cts
Total—- -................. ...... -v
........ $2.50
All of these handy and useful articles have ebony handles, are made
of highly tempered steel, are guaranteed and well worth the price
One Kitchen Set and one year s subscription to
the Intermountain Tribune for the price of the set
$2.5 0
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■
Subscribers by paying up arrears, if any, and one year in advance
can avail themselves of this offer. We have only a few sets which
will last but a short time. \If you want a set, call at once at
THE INTERMOUNTAIN TBIRUNE
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