When it reached “Gold Bugs,” that The Melon Didn’t Count. STOP, THIEF! particular eye flared up like a fusee. The memoirs of Genera I Marbot upon “Now, what should you say if Gold the first French empire relate that, on Rod’s angel was bidden to make her fair. Stop a small malady, which is stealing your Bo lie wove the sunshine into her hair. strength, before it outruns your power to arrest Bugs went up again to 5>£, eh?" the occasion of a very formal distribu ­ it, and recover what it took from you. The He took of the midnoon ’ s cloudless skies ROM actual analysis made by me, I pronounce “Rot!” *£ ■ tion of rewards made by Napoleon before safest and promptest recuperator of Waning And fashion’d therefrom her two blue eyes. vitality, is Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters, which “ Right you are, dear boy. ‘ Rot, ’ is He washed her white with the sinless snows Ratisbon, an old grenadier came forward renews vigor, flesh and nerve Quietude because the Royal Baking Powder to be the Strongest And painted her cheeks with the dawn’s faint it? Well, well, you think 1 misled you and demanded somewhat sharply, to the it restores activity to those functions whose in­ , rose. Interferes with general health. Use Your blood in Spring is almost certain to about that little deal, eh?” , astonishment of all, a cross of the Le­ terruption and Purest Baking Powder before the public. He dimpled her tiny hands and feet, the Buters for dyspepsia, malarial, rheumatic be full of impurities—the accumula­ “ Well, if you want plain speaking, and kidney complaints and biliousness.. He made her sunny and soft and sweet, gion of Honor. tion of the winter months. Bad ven­ He molded her round white limbs with art, Mr. Scherer, I think you did. “But what have you done?” said Na­ He got her from heaven a pure child heart. tilation of sleeping room«, impure air “ And you and I'friends, George! “Johnny,” screamed his mother, “why are poleon. Then he kfts’d her lips and her brow and eyes yo sitting on your brother’s chest? You’ll kill in dwellings, factories and shops, over­ This is what comes of trying to do a “Why, sire,” said the“ soldier, “it him.” “I know it,” retorted the urchin. “But And brought her, sleeping, from paradise. eating, heavy, improper foods, failure man a good turn ! Now, what do you if I let him up he’ll go swimmin’ and be Buch virtue lies in those kisses three was I who, in the desert of Yafa, when Prof. Chemistry, College of Pharmacy Def't, of the kidneys and liver ¡properly to do That, how so weary af heart are we, say if I offer to take those shares off it was terribly hot and you were parched drowned.” University of California. The look and the smile on our baby’s face extra work thus thrust upon them, are your hands again, since you’re so cut with thirst, brought you a watermelon. ’ ’ WHY KOT. Bring rest and comfort and endless grace. the prime causes of this condition. It up over ’em?” —Bessie Gray in Ladies’ Home Journal. “Thank you,” said Napoleon, “but a is of the utmost importance that you It is said that if we take care of little “ At a shilling apiece, I suppose. Ha, watermelon for a general is not worth a Smugglers’ Tricks. things, the big things will take care of IMPURE FOODS. ha!” cross of the Legion of Honor. ” themselves. But why can’t we be always Some amusing anecdotes are related “A shilling apiece? No, sir; not at The grenadier flew into a violent prepared for many of onr little troubles. in connection with the recent discoveries Some of the Many Things We Eat That ‘ a shilling apiece. ’ I ’ ll give you what rage. “Well, then,” , he shouted, “I What’s the use of suffering days and Are Adulterated. oi smugglers’ tricks. A few years ago weeks, when in ten minutes we can get rid you gave for ’ em and ‘ a shilling apiece ’ “Presents, clothes, honeymoon. How over to soothe your injured feelings suppose that the seven wounds that I got of the pain. A sudden attack of backache, A recent report of the dairy food com­ an individual in an ecclesiastical cos­ at Arcola and at Lodi and at Austerlitz toothache, or neuralgic headache, finds tume used to cross the frontier from missioner of Pennsylvania names so on earth can one leave out either?” ask­ What d’ye think of that?” and at Friedland go for nothing, eh? My the most of us without anything at hand, Switzerland into France every morning many food products which are adulter­ ed George Littlecash of himself, earnest­ Mr. Scherer found bis magnanimity so 11 campaigns in Italy, in Egypt, in while 8t. Jacobs Oil would cure and put with a large breviary in his hand. He ated as to raise a query as to what is ly drilling his penholder into a much exhilarating that he drew himself up, Austria, in Prussia, and in Poland yon an end to the trouble promptly. Now, as when warmer weather comes and was a man of dignified aspect and re­ not adulterated. Among the many im­ furrowed forehead. “There never was a threw open his coat and slipped George's don’t count I suppose?” the tonic effect of cold bracing air is Shy. — pure things sold are allspice, which of ­ ceived every mark of deference from the wedding without presents. As for no Evening Intelligence into his own ' “Tut, tut, tut!" exclaimed the em­ And then the good ship faltered, hardly gone, your weak, thin, impure blood customs officers, who sometimes accom­ ten is mainly composed of ground and honeymoon—why, Hetty would be jus­ pocket. Ilariug there to hug the shore. peror. “How you do get excited when will not furnish necessary strength. The coast was bold. Were it retreating, panied him part of the way of his d&ily roasted cocoanut shells; baking powder; tified in crying off before the very altar. ” “You doubt my honesty and my good you come to the essential point of the That tired feeling, loss of appetiie, will Possibly she’d hug it more. stroll. At last a letter put the authori­ beef, wine and iron prepared as a tonic; What had placed our friend in this I faith, eh, my dear sir,’’lie said, pull­ whole matter! I make you now a cheva­ open the way for serious disease, ruined butter, buckwheat flour, candy, catchup, ties on the alert, and the presumed priest unpleasant quandary was, to begin with, ing out his checkbook and a roll of lier of the Legion of Honor for you • 1OO REWARD »1OO. health, or breaking out of humors and was found to be a professional smuggler, cider, cheese, cinnamon, cloves—the Uncle Piper’s check for £500. It was a notes. Last week you paid me £250. If wounds and your campaigns, but don’t impurities. To make pure, rich, red who had contrived to introduce into latter made almost entirely from ground check to marry Hetty and set up house you will be so good as to hand' me back tell me any more about your watermel­ The readers of this paper will be pleased blood Hood’s Sarsaparilla stands un­ France at least 1,000 watches in his cocoanut shells, the odor and taste of with, and qua cash was satisfactory the scrip, I shall have much pleasure in on !” to learn that there is at least one dreaded equalled. Thousands testify to its disease that science has been able to cure breviary, which on examination proved cloves being scarcely perceptible; coffee enough, but accompanied with the wise handing you my check for £362 10s., or merits. Millions take it as their all its stages and that is Catarrh. Hall’s —consisting chiefly of coffee screenings to be a tin box. One of our druggists says that in the in avuncular injunction, “George, marry perhaps,” he added, with cutting sar­ Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now Spring Medicine. Get Hood’s, because or damaged coffee, but sold at a high Very curious also was the experience on a cash basis—cash, mind—or never casm, “since you doubt my honesty you medicine business almost, everybody known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh of a former inspector general of customs price as a pure article; fresh “Java” look me iii the face again.” Such ex­ would prefer Bank of England notes?” wants to sell and not to buy. For in­ being a constitutional disease, requires a here. During a visit to Geneva he bought I made from wheat and barley hulls, cellent advice, plus a £500 check, it is i George, who had risen, half dazed, stance, a man came into the store one constitutional treatment. Hall’s Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly a clock and instructed the vender to for- roasted with sugar and containing no day and attached a machine like a cof­ the blood and mucous surfaces of the ward it only when he had informed him i coffee; codfish not codfish at all—mere- impossible for a nephew to spurn, es­ had just enough presence of mind to fee mill to the counter and began to upon system, thereby destroying the foundation gasp in his astonieh^MW'^ of the disease and giving, the patient of his return to Paris, adding that he i ly cheap dried fish; cream of tartar pecially a nephew in love. turn the crank. “If it’s all the sa>«e to you, I should. ” And then, when he had this gold Strength by building up the constitution must be careful to pay the duty. One of | adulterated with flour; flaxseed adul- “What’s that?” asked the druggist, and assisting nature in doing its work. “Certainly, my dear sir. ” the first things that he noticed on his ! terated with starch; fruit “butters,” mine of untold wealth in his pocket and nee actor. The proprietors bave so much faith in its “I’m only delighted to hand it back arrival at his home was this identical [ such as apple butter, peach butter, etc., a full ocean of happiness to look forward to you,” said George fervently as lie curative powers, that they offer One Hun­ Js the One True Blood Purifier. All druggi9'8. $1 “A machine to take the seeds out of dred Dollars for any case that it fails to Prepared only by C. I. Hood &Co., Lowell, Mass. timepiece in his drawing room, and in very seldom pure, being adulterated to, George fell into the toils of a plausi­ passed over the scrip and received the raisins that I’d like to sell you. ” cure. Send tor list of Testimonials. reply to his questions his coachman ex­ | with starch waste and salicylic acid; ble fellow, Tom Scherer of the well “Will it put them back again?”- Di I Io are the only pills to take a ress no OU 5 > * 11 o wi th Hood's Sarsaparilla plained that the tradesman had himself the same is true of grated pineapples; known city firm of Mouton, Scherer & crisp notes and gleaming gold in ex F. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. The peddler gave a pitying look at change. Walker. Scherer had such a taking way f^F^Sold by Druggists, 75c. stowed the clock away in his carriage. ginger adulterated with ash, rice hulls, MUTUAL ADMIRATION “And yet, strange to say,” laughed Mr. Lennox and marched out without Hall’s Family rills are.the best. It is calculated that only one out of ten rice flour and cayenne pepper; lard; of remembering and cherishing affec­ Scherer, another word.—Hartford Post “ I -Mi assure you I ’ in no less *•1’11 bet you a tionately one Christian name. professional smugglers is ever caught. maple sirup, made from commercial “V” that lady is “Ah! Congratulate you, my dear delighted to take it back. Ha, ha, ha1 FITS.— All Fits stopped free by Dr. Kxine’s riding one of glucose thinned with about 20 per cent —London Telegraph. Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after the first thoce beautiful of water; mixed Bpices; orange juice, George. Coming off next month, eh? Ha, ha, ha!” for some moments the day’s use. Marvelous cures. Treatise and 12.00 ‘Rambler’ Bicy­ trial bottle free to Fit cases. Send to Dr. Kline, cachination prevented speech. When Happy man ! Some of you fellows havé A Competent Motorman. lemon oil, lemon phosphate, molasses, cles; because she 981 Arch St., Philadelphia. Pa. Scherer found breath, he remarked to rides so easy and The complete power which a thor­ mustard, olive oil, pepper, vinegar, va­ the devil’s own luck. And just in time, his bewildered friend: “My deaf George, From the Troy, N. Y., Times. looks so grace­ too, for me to put you on to one of the T hy G erme a for breakfast. ful. ” oughly practical and long experienced nilla extract, all kinds of preserves, ex­ R. W. Edwards, of Lansinburgh, “And I’ll bet nicest little chances of making a com­ let me give yon a word of advice—in motorman has over his trdlley car was tract of strawberries and tea. was prostrated by sunstroke during the you an ‘ X” that fact, two words. Don ’ t doiibt your To add to the deception a few apple fortable nest egg for the happy home, she bought is of clearly demonstrated by one of the em­ war and it has entailed on him peculiar friend ’ s honesty again, and when you From U.S.Journal of JfediciM Fred T. Merrill Bicycle Co., 121 Sixth one of the prettiest chances you ever seeds are scattered through the so called ployees of the Hestonville line in Phila­ Prof. W. H. Peeke, who Street. ’J hey know how to take care of their active shares keep a sharp eye on and serious consequences. At present delphia the other day. It was dinner fruit jams, or timothy or other seeds had. But come into Pipps’ and have a hold makes a specialty of riders—how to make riders sit graceful: be­ wrting Mr. E. is a prominent officer of the papers. Ha, ha, ha!” coffee. ” Epilepsy, has without sides, they always handle the best cyles.” time, and several of the cars were at are added to the mixture to represent Post Loyn, G. A. R., Cohoes and a doubt treated and cur« M-ralr— Ride a “RAMBLER” with G. & J. “ The papers? ” echoed L^ttlecash Pipps ’ , that long, low, smoky “ dive ” one end of the route. . Included in the raspberry, strawberry, etc. The produc­ ed more cases than any Clincher fires, and you will be “well mounted” Why, no, I haven’t seen tonight’s paper past aid de camp on the Staff of ¿the I living Physician; his and will not walk home, with a flat cement tire. lunch of one of the motormen was a tion of artificial colors is particularly in Throgmorton street, was crowded yet, commander-in-chief of Albany Co. In | success is astonishing. ’ ’ and he struck a bell. hard boiled egg. In a joking way he common in confections. Indigo, tumer­ with easy mannered gentlemen,in silk We have heard of cases the interview with a reporter, he said: “ Yes, sir? ” said the office boy. hats, or in no hats at all, who conversed of 20 years’ standing ic, annotto, logwood and cochineal are said to his neighbor, “I will bet $4 that “ I was wounded and sent to the hos ­ cured by “ Where ’ s tonight ’ s evening paper, in pairs and groups with electrical en ­ I can crack the shell of this egg without used in great quantities, and are proba­ JF H him< He pital at Winchester. They sent me to­ breaking the egg with the front dasher bly not harmful; arsenic, copper and ergy. They could not hear themselves Tippetts?” gether with others to Washington—a “Ain’t come in yet, sir. ” of my car. ” A pool was made and the leads are very deleterious, but are not for their own talking. , “Sell at five Perfect seeds grow “Oh, yes, it has,” corrected Mr ride of about 100 miles. Having no motorman reversed the current and now used as much as in former times, three eight,” “Book you thousand,” Scherer, Repaying crops. Perfectseeds^B| room in the box oars we were placed choking with laughter as he “ Buy six quarter, ” “ Sell, ” “ Buy, ” before sanitary officials made such per ­ ware not grown by chance. Noth^ backed his car a distance of several face up on the bottom of flat cars. The Fing is ever left to chance in grow-1 yards. One of liis companions stood sistent attacks on them. Milk and milk “Panjandrums,” “Rhodes,” “Barney’s produced’The Evening Intelligence. "1 sun beat down upon our unprotected Tjjnr large bot ­ . ing Ferry’s Seeds. Dealers sell on the rear platform of the car in front products are often colored. Annotto is stock,” “Struck Bibble bobble reef,” just—just meclianicallly picked it up for heads. When I reached Washington I tle of his absolute cure, free to any sufferers them everywhere. Write for who may send their P. O. and Express address. and held the egg between his fingers, very commonly used by dairymen to “Last crushing ten ounces”—such were a moment myself. ” FERRY’S was insensible and was unconscious for But the office boy triumphed. We advise any one wishing a cure to address some of the scraps of jargon that with one end against the rear dasher of give a rich yellow color. In itself an­ SEED ANNUAL “That’s a hold one, sir. Tonight’s ten days while in the hospital. An ?rof.W. H. PEEKE. F. D.. 4 Cedar St., New York the car. The maker of the bet started notto is probably harmless, but it pro­ emerged above the din in flashes of k for 1S96. Brimful of valuable abscess gathered in my ear an*ulluli Haul. fisherman, like the poet, is born, not site too much. ” iot suitings, SI 2, Uniforms and Bicycle Suits a specialty. “Rand shares? Why, my dear fel­ “Some folks say.” said a fisherman, made. Fishing is a faculty that can be A WARRANTED French Briar Pipe, Hard Rubber j t Is a Terr remarkable remedy-, both for IN­ cultivated, like many others; one can low,” Scherer returned, with a look of “that if a fish once gets into a pound Stem, equal to those usually retailed at 50 cents, ( BLAIN & BLACK CLOTHING COMPANY, PORTLAND, OREGON TERNAL and BXTBRNALuse, and won­ derful in its quick action to reliere distress. learn by rote about tackle and baits pained virtue, “you really don’t mean net it never gets out until ■ it is taken wil> be sent free 1 to tell me that ’ s what put you down in out, but as a matter of fact fish often and tides and so on, but when it comes THE AERMOTOR CO. does half the world’s windmill business, because it has redueed the cost of to actual contact with the fish there the dumps—that little matter of two-. get out of pound nets. It is common for Chills, Diarrhoea, Dysentery, Cramps, for 24 coupons Wind power to 1.'6 what it was.« It has many branch Cholera, and all Bowel Complaint». 3fty, when you stood to win as many comes in the art of the fisherman. The sheepsliead, bluefish, Spanish mackerel houses, and supplies Its goods and repairs OR. q in- THE BEST rem. at your door. It can and does furnish a fact is that some men can catch fish ■thousands! Bless my soul!” Scherer’s and shad to get out of them. I’ve been » Hill" IvlllVs edy known for Sea better article for less money than Sickness, Sick Headache, Pain In the sye had just caught the line in Thé to a pound net on a Sunday and counted and some can ’ t. I am one of those who others. It makes Pumping and g FOR 2 COUPONS and 24 CENTS. ' Back or Side, Rheumatism and Neuralgia. 9 Geared, Steel, Galvanized-after- Evening Intelligence. “ Have you seen cannot; time and again I have sat in a 285 bluefish, and when the net was Do 18 unquestionably the Completlon windmills. Tilting BEST LINIMENT and Fixed Steel Towers, Steel Buzz Saw You will find one coupon inside each a ounce bag, boat alongside of men catching lots of the paper tonight?” hauled bn Monday found only four or MADE. It brings speedy and permanent relief Frames, Steel Feed Cutters and Feed and two coupons inside each 4 ounce bag of “ No, ” replied George, whose back five. The fish get in, and if they find In all cases of Bruises, Cuts, Sprains, fish and caught none or next to. none. Grinders. On application it will name one Severe Burns, &c. of these articles that it will furnish until But I love to go fishing, all the same.” was turned, “nor want to. I’m sick of the opening and get started right they January 1st at 1/3 the usual price. also makes Da in_ 18 well tried and the whole thing. You knew, for I told can get out. They follow one another Tanks and Pumps of all kinds. Send for catalogue. —New York Sun. 1 ttlll"trusted friend of the Factory: 12th. Rockwell and Fillmore Streets, Chicago» Mechanic,'Farmer, Planter, Sailor, and you, I couldn ’ t risk anything under the like a flock of sheep. ” — New York Sun. in fact all classes wanting a medicine always at Oddities of Sight. circumstances unless it Was absolutely hand, and safe to use Internally or externally MARRIED LADIES | RENALDO with certainty of relief. What He Wondered. « i8 a health douche. It certain.” The two eyes really see two objects. IS RECOMMENDED destroy8 all germs and will preserve your health. “You seem thoughtful, Henry,” said “And that’s what you call ‘risk?’ ” Send coupons with name and address to If the two forefingers be held, one at By Physicians, by Missionaries, by Ministers, by Sure and harmlfs«. No medicine internally. Mechanics, by Nurses in Hospitals. “Oh, hang! I know it’s my own Mr. Meektou’s better half. Particulars on wri ing us. Sufficient for 8 the distance of one foot, the other two BLACKWELL’S DURHAM TOBACCO CO., DURHAM, N. C. J BY EVERYBODY. mont< s’ use $5. Address Beno Chemical Co«» “ Yes, an idea just struck me. ” feet in front of the eyes, and the for­ fault—only don’t bother me with any box 1099, San Jose, Cal. JDn in— Villmf 18 a Medicine Chest In “What was it?” Buy a bag of this Celebrated Smoking Tobacco and read the j rG.lnaI\.IllUl itself, and few vessels mer be looked at, two phantoms of the more of these fine tales. ” “I was wondering whether, by next coupon which gives a list of other premiums, and how to get them. AHIIIBfl Morphine Habit Cured in leave port without a supply of it. “Now, I çgll this very unkind of you, latter will be observed, one on each side. B8I® b I bk S§ to 20 Nopaytillcur j#3“No family can afford to’be without this Vl I Vnl DR. J. STEPHENS; Lebanon,OI Invaluable remedy in the house. Its price brings George, ” said Scherer, injured. “I do season, the new woman will be gentle­ If the latter be regarded, two phantoms | 2 CENT STAMPS ACCEPTED. It within the 'reach of all, and it will annually manly enough to take her hat off in the of the nearer finger will be observed indeed. ” And so saying Mr. Scherer save many times its cost in doctors’ bills. N. P. N. U. No. 640.—S, F, N. U, No. 717 Beware of Imitations. Take nous but th* 1 east an eye down the juonily column. theater.”—Washington Star. ! mounting guard, one on each side. gMulne h P kb > y D av »,” A BABY I KNOW. Spring Medicine A LITTLE DEAL. Purify Your Blood F i W-. Hood’s Sarsaparilla He Will Not Drown Himself Fits iiirrtw ijtJJL a FERRYS a &.SEED$4 MRS. WINSLOW’S I Premium No. 1 Chocolate I 3- $ $ X X Made by Walter Baker & Co., Ctd., Dorchester, Mass., has been cele- brated for more than a century as a nutritious, delicious, and flesh- forming beverage. Sold by gro- cers everywhere. Allcock’s x j X ± x Plaster C SAW ♦♦♦♦♦♦ FLOUR ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ MINING.................. MARINE ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ WARE-HOUSE ♦ ♦ MACHINERY THE WILUMETTEIROHIOBKS ■B APOLIO PIPE"------- 1 SENT Pain-Killer FREE 1 ! ;; | w 2 DlllWOMM 1 2 Pants?