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About The Asian reporter. (Portland, Or.) 1991-current | View Entire Issue (June 5, 2023)
OPINION Page 6 n THE ASIAN REPORTER June 5, 2023 Volume 33 Number 6 June 5, 2023 ISSN: 1094-9453 The Asian Reporter is published on the first Monday each month. Please send all correspondence to: The Asian Reporter 922 N Killingsworth Street, Suite 2D, Portland, OR 97217 Phone: (503) 283-4440, Fax: (503) 283-4445 News Department e-mail: news@asianreporter.com Advertising Department e-mail: ads@asianreporter.com Website: www.asianreporter.com Please send reader feedback, Asian-related press releases, and community interest ideas/stories to the addresses listed above. Please include a contact phone number. Advertising information available upon request. Publisher Jaime Lim Contributing Editors Ronault L.S. Catalani (Polo), Jeff Wenger Correspondents Ian Blazina, Josephine Bridges, Pamela Ellgen, Maileen Hamto, Edward J. Han, A.P. Kryza, Marie Lo, Simeon Mamaril, Julie Stegeman, Toni Tabora-Roberts, Allison Voigts Illustrator Jonathan Hill News Service Associated Press/Newsfinder Copyright 2023. Opinions expressed in this newspaper are those of the authors and not necessarily those of this publication. Member Associated Press/Newsfinder Asian American Journalists Association Better Business Bureau Pacific Northwest Minority Publishers (PNMP) Philippine American Chamber of Commerce of Oregon Correspondence: The Asian Reporter welcomes reader response and participation. 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Back issues of The Asian Reporter may be ordered by mail at the following rates: First copy: $3.00 Additional copies ordered at the same time: $1.50 each Send orders to: Asian Reporter Back Issues, 922 N. Killingsworth St., Portland, OR 97217-2220 The Asian Reporter welcomes reader response and participation. If you have a comment on a story we have printed, or have an Asian-related personal or community focus idea, please contact us. Please include a contact name, address, and phone number on all correspondence. Thank you. MY TURN n Wayne Chan The dreaded “follow-up question” ay wife and I recently travelled to Taiwan to visit our families. It was a terrific trip, especially since we haven’t been able to visit for a few years due to the pandemic. The one downside that I nearly forgot about after all this time away immediately reared it’s ugly head the first time Maya and I went out to buy a few things. I call it, “The dreaded follow-up question.” OK, this calls for a little explanation on the backstory. I owe you that. I speak some Chinese. I’m actually proud of it. But I don’t really read or write. I can’t blame my parents. My mom sent me, year after year, to Chinese school, and I went. The problem was that I went to Chinese school for completely different reasons. I didn’t attend to improve my Chinese language skills. I went there to be with my schoolmates, many of whom were cute, Chinese-American girls. So basically, the bulk of my Chinese language education was purposely learning Chinese phrases like, “What are you doing after class?” or “You’re an Aquarius? So am I!” The limited success of my Chinese language education meant that what I did learn was mostly from my parents. My mom spoke perfect English, but I suspect she spoke to me in Chinese because deep down she knew that was the only way I would actually pick up ANYTHING. So, for the record, I perfectly understand Chinese phrases like, “How many times have I told you to clean up your room?!?” and “No more TV until you finish your homework!” But back to my trip to Taiwan. I needed to buy a hat. Specifically, a baseball cap. Being spring in Taiwan, I normally bring a baseball cap to keep the sun out of my eyes. So, on the first daily walk of our trip, we went by an active wear store and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to buy a baseball cap. Maya, who is from Taiwan and speaks perfect Chinese, went off shopping on her own. I didn’t see M many hats in the area, but no problem — I knew what I wanted and most importantly, how to ask for it. I walked to a salesperson in one of the aisles and confidently asked, in Chinese, “Where do you sell all of your hats?” This is when the dreaded follow-up questions began. The deeper I get into a back-and-forth about any particular topic, the less I understand what we’re talking about. At some point in the conversation, we could be talking about a “Cocker Spaniel field hockey competition” and I would never know the difference. Here’s a snippet of my back-and-forth Chinese conversation with the salesperson and how her responses sounded to me. Me: Where do you sell all of your hats? Salesperson: What style hat are you looking for? Are you looking for BLOOPITY BLOOP or POPPITY POP? Me: I’m sorry — what? Salesperson: Oh, it depends on what kind of hat you’re looking for. If you’re looking for KLAKITY KLACK, those are on the second floor, but the regular GOBBITY GOOK is here on the main floor. Maybe we should start on the first floor with the FLIPPITY FLOPS. Me: That would be fine. It’s amazing what we settle for when we don’t want to admit we have no idea what is going on. In the end, I did end up buying a hat. It wasn’t really the color or style I was looking for, but it would do. It’s a good thing I could at least take a look at the hat before buying it. Otherwise, I could’ve easily come home wearing a Bowler hat or a pink, floral sun chapeau. I can imagine the comments of my friends wearing one of those upon returning home. Friend: Nice hat, Wayne! Me: Why don’t you shut your CLIPPITY CLAP! Humor writer Wayne Chan lives in the San Diego area; cartoonist Wayne Chan is based in the Bay Area. Opinions expressed in this newspaper are those of the authors and not necessarily those of this publication. The Asian Reporter is published on the first Monday each month. News page advertising deadlines for our next issue are: July 3, 2023 edition: Space reservations due: Wednesday, June 28 at 1:00pm Artwork due: Thursday, June 29 at 1:00pm