OPINION
Page 6 n THE ASIAN REPORTER
August 1, 2016
Volume 26 Number 15
August 1, 2016
ISSN: 1094-9453
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MY TURN
n Wayne Chan
A thwacking is worth
a thousand words
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S
ome of you may have run across a viral video
of a trainer lining up a group of employees
who work for a Chinese Bank and spanking
them with a wooden paddle in front of their peers for
poor performance evaluations.
It’s a shocking display. It’s demeaning. It’s
humiliating.
And yet, I actually have mixed feelings about
it.
Of course, I’m sympathetic to those poor folks on
stage getting thwacked on the backside. I don’t see
how any performance evaluation should ever
incorporate corporal punishment as part of its
training methods.
On the other hand …
In this day and age, with all of life’s inconve-
niences, politicians with too much political correct-
ness (and some with too little), and all the little
injustices in life, I can’t deny the satisfaction I
would receive if I had the power to administer at
least a symbolic thwacking to some of those on my
list. Yes, I have a list — it’s a theoretical list, but a
list is still a list.
So here goes …
To the waitress in Shanghai who took so long to
clean up a table for us to be seated that we started
cleaning the table ourselves, which led to her
complaining to us that we didn’t do a good enough
job. — Thwack!
To the salesperson who gave us a really
outrageously high estimate to replace a window in
our home only to find out the same exact brand
window was 30 percent cheaper at our local Home
Depot. — Thwack!
To my teenage son, who plays tennis and recently
said, “I want to beat you in tennis while you’re still
young enough to play.” — Thwack!
To the same teenage son, who a couple of weeks
later while playing me in tennis said, “You know,
you don’t have to hit the ball so soft to me.” Which
was followed up by me saying, “I wasn’t trying to hit
the ball soft to you!” — Thwack!
To my teenage son, yes, the same one, who while
playing tennis with me a couple weeks later, smiled
at me with a sheepish smile and said, “You’re
hitting the ball much harder now — good for you!”
Which was followed by me saying, “I want you to
stop talking to me now.” — Thwack! (He’s probably
getting pretty sore by now.)
To a certain presidential candidate who was also
a first lady, a senator, and a former Secretary of
State, when asked if she will tell the truth to the
American people, responded by saying, “I’ve always
tried to.” — Thwack!
To another presidential candidate who made a
name for himself by firing people on a reality show,
and has said — well, there are just too many to
mention, so I’d like to administer a number of
thwacks set to the beat of Queen’s “Another One
Bites the Dust.” Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
Thwackie, thwack, thwackie thwack!
Finally, a few thwacks reserved for some
inanimate objects.
For the scale in my bathroom, which manages to
show a higher number even after I’ve only eaten an
apple, two walnuts, and a glass of skim milk for the
day. — Thwack!
For the air conditioner in my home that seems to
turn on randomly in the winter, but decided to stop
working on the hottest day of the year. — Thwack!
Finally, for the GPS navigation system in my car,
which seems to routinely reroute my drive to head
into the middle of a lake or on a 36-hour journey to
Milwaukee. — Thwack!
Now, I feel much better. Hand’s a little sore; next
time I’ll wear gloves.
Opinions expressed in this newspaper are those of the authors and not necessarily those of this publication.
Farewell to VCRs: Japanese maker to shelve once-hit product
Continued from page 5
“To give up on keeping such
records is like denying the history
of humankind,” said Norimatsu.
“Production ending is going to
present problems for some peo-
ple.”
Funai will continue selling
VCRs through its subsidiary
until inventory runs out and will
provide maintenance services as
long as it can, the company
spokesman said.
Videotapes can still be con-
verted using VHS-DVD recorder-
players made by other, mostly
Chinese, companies. Secondhand
products abound in Tokyo’s
electronics district as well. But a
time may come when all such
options also disappear.
But many are shrugging off the
VCR’s disappearance as inevi-
table.
“I think only hardcore fans of
old machines are going to be
using VCRs,” said Isao Toku-
hashi, author of My Eyes Tokyo, a
book about newsmakers in
Japan.
Like most people, Tokuhashi
invested hours 10 years ago to
transfer video he wanted to keep
to DVD, and these days stores
video in his iPhone and computer.
He no longer owns a TV and has
not recorded any shows recently,
he added. “None of my friends
still has one,” he said of the VCR.