S o u th e r n O re g o n N e w s R e v ie w , T h u rs d a y , J u l y 28, 1949
By JOE
MAHONEY
LAW N MOWER W IT H SELF-EJECTING . . .
Minneapolis Lady Asks About W altzing Mouse
. . . BLADES PRESENTS NEW PROBLEMS
* J.Ï
H O LD S THE M A X '«
LEAGO e
By H I. PHILLIPS
‘ANSWER MAN'
Q.—Miss Sapho Hosley, Cos Cob,
Conn., writes in to find out if there
is such a thing as a lawn mower
with self-ejecting extra blades,
and, If so, where she should throw
the old ones.
A.—An engineer In Cleveland
Ohio, is said to have Invented a
look-sharp-feel-sharp-be-sharp lawn
mower with a pack of 10 blades. We
A.—There are said to be tS4,-
forget his last name, but his first
58? hairs on the bark of an
name Is Esau. Old lawn mower
adult bee. provided it has never
blades should be thrown off a
had dandruff. Drones part their
bridge, never put in a medicine
hair in the middle. Husy bees
cabinet
have no time to bother about
Q.—Edgar Woofbaum of Dela­
such things.
ware Water Gap asks. “How many
• • •
hairs are there on the back of a
Q
—A
lady
in
Minneapolis asks:
bee, and is it true a bee likes them
“How many turns does a waltzing
parted in the middle?”
mouse make per minute, and is
food a factor?”
THE GUHtY H U
O W that the C hnit is risen,
Now with the darkness gone,
The road lies out before us,
Upward, and on and on.
N
t There are His sandal footprints,
There is His form ahead,
Straight and Strong and compelling,
The Christ that they left as dead.
N othing can dim His glory',
N othing can Stay His feet,
And countless are they who follow
Him down ea< lane and Street;
And I would be one among them,
Along the Glory W ay;
I would arise and follow
The risen Christ today.
Grace Noll Crowell
A. — According to
the last
quarterly report of the Waltzing
Mice Research Bureau, these crea
tures average three turns per sec­
ond. This is sometimes slowed
down by mice cutting in during
the waltz. A pastry diet is bad. too.
Q.—A mother in Hoboken, N.J.,
asks: “Is it true that tattooed
women are barred from Miss
America contests?"
A.—No, but there seems to be
no demand for them. The rules
are. however, very broad. A woman
in Derby. Conn., dyed her skin red,
white and blue, and only lost the
victory in a Miss Barber Pole of
1948 contest by three lengths.
Q-—A seamstress from Tallahas­
see. Fla., writes to ask: “Can corn-
silk be used to stuff a sofa?”
A.—Yes, cornsilk can be used,
and it is good fun, too. Short lengths
of cornsilk make it more exciting.
Golden Bantam corn is best. Some
people have done wonders stuffing
sofas with lint collected from black
pants.
Q.—A man in Baltimore, Md.,
asks: “Will a halibut live in cap­
tivity, and where can halibut bowls
be bought?"
(“Unrest is reported sweeping
Robinson Crusoe's island in the
South Pacific.”—News item.)
Crusoe—Friday, you don’t seem
co-operative today. What's wrong?
Friday—I've been Friday long
enough. I wanna be Thursday.
Crusoe—Why?
Friday—It shortens the week.
Crusoe—Come, come, you must
be joking.
Friday—Not at all. I may even
want to make it seem shorter by
having my name
changed to
Wednesday.
Crusoe—We're the only two men
on this island. We've been getting
along famously. You've been my
right-hand man.
Friday—Yes. but I feel a pull to
the left.
Crusoe — Not here, surely.
We've been very happy togeth­
er, have we not?
Friday—There must be a
capitalistic plot behind it some­
how. I’m so happy it must be
wrong, one way or another.
Crusoe—Now run along and fetch
me some coconuts.
Friday—There you go exploiting
me!
Crusoe—Look, we are both in the
same boat. How could one exploit
the other?
Friday—If I had a copy of the
Q — A young woman in Houston, Daily Worker I could tell you. This
Tex., wants to know who invented island is so remote I don't even get
the clamrake?
Pravda.
BY INEZ GERHARD
aware of this fact. He was too busy
with his experiments in the field of
K LTHOUGH she now has three chemistry,
with teaching the under­
network programs on the air,
(“Kate Smith Sings,” “Kate Smith graduates of Mapleridge College
the rudiments of
Speaks,” both on Mutual, and her
e le m e n ta r y
two-hour “Kate Smith’s Music
science, w i t h
Minute
Room” on ABC,) Miss Smith can
papers
sit down and talk with you as if
Fiction writing
and books in
she were just a comfortable,
which he s e t
homey woman who knew a lot
about cooking and housekeeping. forth (in an almost apologetic style)
the results of his experiments, and
with reading avidly the works of
such great scientists as Mons. Oli­
ver Davillier and Senor Alfredo Valle
Indan, both of whom had long ago
won his respect and admiration.
He was an unpretentious looking
little man, this Professor Cheswick,
with pale blue eyes and horn­
rimmed glasses and a pasty com­
plexion. He wasn’t one to attract
attention or to assert himself. He
went about with a perpetual far­
away look in his eyes.
There came a time when a prob­
lem presented itself that challenged
his skill and knowledge. He labored
over it for days. The days became
weeks and the weeks months. At
last, worn and haggard, ihe little
man was ready to admit defeat.
KATE SMITH
Time after time he returned
Unlike many of radio’s women
to it, only to find himself de­
stars, she is not so obsessed by her
feated. He visited every library
own career that an absent-minded
within miles, read every book
look comes into her eyes whenever
by
Davillier and Indan, as well
anything else is mentioned. Per­
as other great scientists that
haps it is that warm, human quality
was available, but without find­
that makes her the most listened-
ing the answer.
to woman on the air.
In the end Profesor Cheswick
had an idea. It was summer. He
When selecting “The Ten Out­ needed a vacation. Why not take
standing Voices in the World” the a month off, visit Europe and per­
National Academy of Vocal Arts haps call on Davillier and Indan
named Ben Grauer’s as the “Most and ask them personally to clear up
Authoritative" and Dan Seymour’s the matter that so burdened his
as the “Friendliest,” because of mind?
its warmth and complete natural­
A week later Professor Cheswick
ness.”
sailed for France. The little school
teacher was a lonely figure. He
Production halted momentarily struck up a few acquaintances. He
when Jean Dean walked onto the wasn’t the type to attract people.
“Angels in Disguise” set at Mono­ But he enjoyed the trip. This was
gram for her featured role in this something he had never done be­
latest of the Bowery Boys series. fore.
Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall and the
He was glad when the boat
crew could hardly take their eyes
off the gorgeous red-head, who was docked. Eagerly he looked ahead to
the original Varga girl model. his meeting with Mons. Davillier.
But alas! The next day Professor
Formerly under contract at MGM,
she plays the feminine lead in Cheswick learned that Mons. Davil­
lier had gone to America for his
"Angels.”
summer holiday and was not ex­
pected
to return for another month.
Realizing during their travels
The little scientist was depressed
that the traffic situation is becom­
ing worse everywhere, the March and disappointed. His time was
of Time editors decided to do some­ short. Madrid, where lived Senor
thing about it. They consulted ex­ Indan was a long way off. Yet it
perts, got solutions and recom­ could be reached, he thought sud­
mendations and “Stop—Heavy Traf­ denly and excitedly, by plane in a
fic" is the result. It shows how bad very short while.
traffic can be, and the methods TTE WAS DELIGHTED to learn
used by some towns to work out “ that Senor Indan was in Madrid.
the problem
Yes, it was difficult to obtain an
interview with the great man. He
was constantly being pressed for in­
terviews. What was it the American
wanted to see him about? A prob­
lem? Ah, yes, Senor Indan was re­
quested to solve so many problems.
It was very, very doubtful if he
would grant an interview for such
a slight matter. However, if the
American would care to take his
chances, Senor Indan was to appear
at a reception on Tuesday night.
Possibly there would be an oppor­
tunity to ask his question . . .
Professor Cheswick attended the
reception. He stood in line for
hours, a quiet, unassuming, unim­
portant looking little man, waiting
for his chance to speak to the
great Senor Indap. It came at last.
At last the Mapleridge school
teacher and scientist stood before
the man he respected more than
anyone else in the world.
1111
I '.A C
DODGERS.
UNREST ON CRUSOE'S ISLAND
★
By
★
Richard H. Wilkinson
Corner
PROFESSOR AARON CHES-
I F wick
was famous he was not
' W ill II
S I X TIM ES IL L 'IN I'»
K W I W H IL E W IT H T H E
(Send In your question to our
answer man and get the Impor­
tant farts of life cleared up so
you ran go on about your
duties.)
A.—A man named Krossshle-
movitezosky in Butte. Meat.,
once kept a-male halibut in the
bathtub of his home for seven
months under the impression it
was a salmon. The barracuda
is preferred as a house pet if
what you want is adventure.
Fiction * * GREAT MAN
Ill
A —I'm glad she asked that
question. The curator of the Inter­
national Clamrake Museum and
Oyster Fork Institute says It was
designed by an Englishman named
Zilch, patented by two Frenchmen
and built by a Canadian clam trap
per. This makes It a Russian in­
vention.
The
STAGE3SCREÊMRADIO
R EC O K O
T O R 511 Ai irz . i $ A 'l .
He was so overcome by awe
that for a moment he just
stared. Senor Indan frowned
impatiently and Professor Ches­
wick found his voice. He stated
his question. The Senor’s brows
arched in surprise.
“An unusual question, Senor,”
he said. "Frankly, I cannot answer
it. There is only one man in the
world with enough knowledge and
learning to find the answer. He is
one of your own countrymen. My
good friend Mons. Davillier is at
this moment in America seeking an
interview with this wizard whom
the whole scientific world respects
and admires, yet who is so ab
sorbed in his work that it is diflft
cult to persuade him to appear in
public. I refer to Professor Aaron
Cheswick of Mapleridge college.”
HSSWOHD PUZZLE
ACROSS 51. Town
19. Garment
I. Plausibly
(Eng.)
border
fluent
52; Journey
21. Scold per­
5. Expression 53. Tear
sistently
of sorrow
54. Affirmative 22. A fast gait
votes
9. Infrequent
(colloq.)
DOWN
24. Soapy water
German
1. Oily
28. Gun
composer
2. Not strict
(slang)
3. Flower
11. Egress
30. Bom
12. Chills
4. Species of 31. Division
and
pepper plant
of a play
fever
8. Outer dress 32. Device lor
13. Music note
(Arab.)
causing air
14. Dry, said
6. Loiter
currents
7. Sharp
of wine
34. Precious
16. Spigot
8. Scissors
stone
18. Tree
13. Craze
36. Seizes
20. Light
15. Crown
37. Measure
cavalry
17. Greek
(Arab.)
soldiers
letter
39. Join
agents
25. Chum
26. River
(Chin.)
27. Drinking
vessel
29. Alcoholla
liquor
31. Jewish
month
33. Loose­
hanging
point
35. A measure
38. A bunch
41. Guido's
highest
note
42. Unit of
weight
43. Silent
45. Close to
46. Broad
49. Drinks
In
small
amount*
LAST
WEEKS
ANSWER
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A n s w e r te P a n i e
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16 MOLE HAS OFF WAS HELP AfsifCARY M ID D LFC O F F
ANO PORKY OLIVER WERE STILL TIEOATAJOOEN DEATH*
had
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FIRED A B IR D IE O N THE FIRST MOLE. EC LOST TO
s t c u r r v E ( ami s in i Q i 2, 14 in
P I5 ANI? 15 M 19251
O LIVER H O W E V E R ...P O R K Y HAD A N EA G LE
WALTER JOHNSON
-SPORTLIGHT
I Wonder in What Far-Off Rings?
.By GRÁNTLAND RICE.
T B ONDER /N what far off ringi
* Jim Corbetl't t p t d r t u a ilt o«
tlon doesn't want uny more of Jer­
sey Joe Walcott. This recent show
was one place where the promoters
had to work without any working
material.
The fight mob for years bad
been accustomed to fellows liko
Dempsey, Tunney and Louis
who could box and also punch.
Tunney was no slick of dyna­
mite but he could cut you up
and hurt you. The fight mob
had become too accustomed Io
Joe Louis to start cheering for
an Ezzard Charles or a Joe Wal­
cott, minus any part of per­
sonal appeal. Or even Imper­
sonal appeal.
Châties was at least willing to
fight, while to Walcott the thought
of hitting someone or being hit was
decidedly abhorrent. Walcott would
have been an ideal soidior in the
War of the Roses.
• • •
c»eu?
ITArre J tfftriet b a o k t and old
Fitt iu in g t
Or l.fjuii ¡pint b it follow through
IT her t it Jack D rm p try't cratbing
fill
A t Tunney b o ld t the f o t at bay?
S>:'! looking through the fogt and
m itlt
tt here a rt g h o ttt of yatterday?
The Ezzard Charles Rating
Since the melancholy spectacle
In Chicago known as the N B A.
heavyweight championship, various
experts and noncombatants have
been busy attempting to rate Ez­
zard Charles, the winner. The best
rating would seem to place Charles
somewhere between the post-Tun-
ney and the pre-Louis period.
It is difficult to make any clear
cut estimate since he was facing an
opponent who refused to fight, the
same being Jersey Joe Walcott.
Charles is a better boxer than
Max Baer, Primo Camera and
Jim Braddock. He
is no better a box­
er
than
Jack
Sharkey or Max
S c h m e 11 n g hap­
pened to be. He
can't punch with
Baer, Braddock or
Schmeling. T h a t
post-Tunney,
pre-
Louis period was a
Grantland Klee sad one tor the
fight game — especially the heavy­
weight game. This new era. now
rolling in, will be just as sad or
possibly even sadder.
The winner of the Charles—Wood­
cock vs. Savold contest won'.t re­
quire much on either side. This is
just as well since neither side has
much to offer. At the very best,
such a meeting should be worth
perhaps a $10 top. if you happen
to have $10 you don’t need.
There is no complaint about
the N.B.A. calling the Charles-
W'alcott fiasco a championship
fight. It was a terrible fight to
watch from start to finish. Jer­
sey Joe Walcott started at a
rather brisk pace but, after the
second round, suddenly decided
that he was through for the
evening.
He had collected three pretty
fair purses in a row and he had
been around 19 years. He had
squeezed about all he could out of
mediocrity.
You can't keep on making lemon­
ades out of one lemon.
Certainly the heavyweight situa
More About Charles
Charles is a serious, earnest
young fellow who is a good boxer
and who is willing. But he Is never
overanxious. He is careful. He tried
to make a fight of it but his punch­
ing was too feathery to make him
dangerous.
Charles is not much of a puncher,
even with a fair shot at snnie an­
tagonist. Here was Walcott in front
of him for 15 rounds and yet Wal­
cott emerges without a knockdown
or a scratch outside of a split upper
lip.
This isn't the type of fighter who
is going to revive the lagging fight
game and start the multitude
cheering loudly. For all of that Ez­
zard Charles is very likely the best
heavyweight fighter left In the
world today.
He should have no great
trouble handling cither Wood-
rock or Savold. Woodcock never
was very much and Savold is
well over the hill. Charles larks
any tourh of fire or flame. He
Is merely a pretty good work­
man who Is Involved with In­
ferior material.
Louis has been through for sev­
eral years. His title was worth at
least a million dollars to some am­
bitious fellow who could learn how
to box and punch. The inducement
has been the richest prize in sport.
The ring game has had at least
six years in which to develop just
one fighter, one good fighter. The
net result has been Ezzard Charles,
who, in baseball parlance, would
be rated a .270 hitter.
Gene Tunney stopped Tom Heen­
ey and retired In July, 1928. Max
Schmeling won from Jack Sharkey
on a foul in July, 1930
— By Harold Arnett
N e. K
40. Covered
with rust
44. Bog
47. Put on, as
clothes
48. Conclude
50. Herb
(Hawaiian)
PADDED THIMBLE
IN CASE YOUR. FINGER GETS
SORE FROM YOUR TH IM B LE
WHCN YOU SEW, try USING
A MUCH LARGER T H IM B L E
AND PAD IT WITH THIN
FELT.
THE FELT CAN BE
held in place by means
OF RUBBER C E M E N T OR
ANY OTHER HOUSEHOLD
CEMENT
IF YOU HAVE CHICKENS
AND FEED THEM BEETS?
CARROTS, ETC., YOU CAN
MAKE A DANDY HOLDER
FOR THESE VEGETABLES
BY FASTENING THE COILS
OF AN O L D BEDSPRING
TO A W ALL OR POST. THIS
HELPS TO PREVENT W A STE.
PUZZLE NO. •