‘ J ** southern Greffon Miner. Thursday. January 4. 1945 How to Win Friends and Prevent Future Wars N ews By P a u l M allon Released by Western Newspaper Union. EV ID EN C E LACKING ON RUSSIAN TACTICS WASHINGTON.—Behind the Army and Navy Journal charge that Rus­ sian and British politics in Europe have delayed military victory, inves­ tigation will show considerable yes- and-no evidence. The hinge-point is whether the Russians held back on their march through Poland to Berlin in order to gobble up the Balkans and Baltic states for themselves, whether they deliberately delayed conquest ol Germany proper. Some Polish organisations have claimed the Reds did not throw in enough power in their Warsaw drive last August, but the military evidence shows they put 30 divisions into that (ray. Also Warsaw Is easier to defend from attack from the east than the west. Jo lly Duck fo r T o y O r L aw n O rn am ent HIS wheelbarrow Is ensy to T m ake from sera pa of lumber. The wheel is cut out of wood and Y a m a s h it a a n d th e S n o re T h r e a t (“ General Yamashita, new c«m- mandrr-ln-<'hlef •( the Japs against General MacArthur, often closes his eyes and snores, even In the midst of Important business. This gives the impression that he is not alert and fools people.”—Japanese radio.) • ■ This introduces another new weap­ on into the global war. A snorer can be quite a threat, and Yama- shita is no ordinary, low gauge, one-tube snorer. He gets volume and power, not to mention distance. • — It may herald the launching of an all-out Japanese snore attack. The Yamashita "horror weapon" may be the robot-grunt or even the jet-propelled snore. We may have to combat a nasal blits any mo­ ment, now! America does not include snoring among its major weapons. It is not a nation of top snorers. It has never gone in for snoring as an instrument The Wista river is supposed to run of aggression, nor even of defense. through the city, but actually the But that may be because It has important part of the metropolis is on the west bank, which is higher never been challenged in this re­ and commands the east bank from spect by any world conquering which attack must be made. The snorers. Reds appear to have made a real Washington seems undisturbed. fight and lost in August and then let that matter go in favor of their Secretary Stimson expressed the southern campaign through Roma­ opinion that while we are not much as a snoring nation today, we led the nia, Hungary, etc. world at it between 1919 and 1941. Butted Real Wall. “ And that was unintentional snor­ The Nazi fortifications 10 to 15 ing," he said. “Once we set our miles inside the East Prussian fron­ minds to snoring aggressively, the tier are old (built before the war), results will be amazing.” •_ and comparable with those we are i facing in the west. Here also the I General Marshall spoke with simi­ Red army butted its head against a lar confidence. “ Let Yamashita real wall in September and let the bring on his Burping battalions, his fighting degrade into trapping. grunting Grenadiers,” he said calm­ ly. " I understand Yamashita snores Reports have been published from the toes up. the effect being that a Russian drive is about to heightened by a bad case of hali­ start on the dormant Polish tosis. But we will take him on, grunt front, but you cannot tell about for grunt.” that until action starts and pro­ • gresses far enough to gauge the General MacArthur was equally size of IL passive. “I will spot the general two The Nazis fought the same delay­ deep inhalations and make him cry ing tactics against the Reds in the for help. We can lick him at any­ Baltic states as they used against thing. including any noises he cares us in France, holding ports and to make,” he declared. pockets of resistance with suicide "He is very deceptive," we warned squads. Indeed, elements of 10 Ger­ MacArthur. “He can snore while man divisions still hold the Riga awake.” estuary, nullifying the capture of "That makes him an ideal foe,” that port as at Antwerp. was the reply. Russian Walts. "He sometimes does his deepest On the other hand the southern planning between grunts,” we drive through the Balkans was a pointed out. waltz up to Budapest. After the “We will keep him grunting.” Prut river was crossed and Ploesti smiled MacArthur. "Is he a straight- was captured. Romania dropped like front snorer or a side-wheeler? Any­ a plum to Stalin as did Bulgaria and how we will look for an all-around Yugoslavia. It is undeniable that snorer. Do you know if he snores this m ilitary campaign has worked with his mouth open?” Russia’s way politically, not only as “Our scouts so report.” we said. to the Balkans but by keeping Po­ “That kind are a dime a dozen, land on the rough edge until Polish even when made in Japan," said politics and Churchill settled the MacArthur. “It is the man who Russian way. The Russians are fur­ snores with his mouth closed who is ther from Berlin at Budapest than really dangerous.” they were in Poland at the end of MacArthur went on to say that, summer. The facts from Europe seem In­ anyhow, America had been experi­ wardly and outwardly to be kept in menting with a new snore of great­ a yes-and-no state. Indeed, there is er range and velocity, a snore that arising here an attitude like that of would go anywhere. “ We fear no enemy snorerst” he the New Deal senator whose state­ ments you may have seen. He says added. "Kaiser Bill was a better it is all British propaganda about than fair hostile snorer and look at the Communists wanting the Greek his finish! Hindenburg was tops.” government or being involved in the General Eisenhower admitted one revolt. fear from the snore technique. “If “ We hear conservatives yell­ Hitler, Goering, Him m ler and Goeb- ing Communist everytime a peo­ bels should all snore at once, that ple’s movement rears its head,’* would be a disturbance!” he ad­ he says. This is the same line mitted. familiar since the Spanish revo­ • • • lution of “ It is’’ on one side, Justice on the Home Front “It isn’t” on the other, with no “Coincident with the distribution one getting at acceptable facts to all private lending institutions of of the truth. new regulations covering housing Personally, for myself, I rely loans for war veterans, the Federal mainly on the judgment of the m ili­ Housing administration today urged tary in such matters, but not on the setting up of full safeguards politicians here or abroad. By and against veterans being victimized large, military men care little about through the purchase of jerrybuilt Communism or conservatives, but houses.”—News item. want to win their war. They know more about the facts than senators. One of our yens is to see a tough, Their Army and Navy Journal re­ seasoned veteran return from the flected the viewpoint of a large seg­ wars, get one of those modern ment of the defense services, al­ houses with walls that wobble in the though other army experts are in­ breeze, and chase the realtor across clined to give Russia the benefit of country with a bayonet. Getting, of doubt, at least until they see how course, his money back. • • • big a drive now develops in Poland. Portrait of a Self-Confident Man. In this kind of a yes-and-no game (Our Fuehrer stands like a rock of news from Europe, where skilled propaganda forces are at work in a amid the surging tide, holding life and death struggle for power, it fast to his conviction Germany will is necessary that senators, as all win this war.’—Herr Goebbels). There stands Adolf citizens, try to ascertain and adver­ Like a rock tise provable conditions such as the While the breakers Communist connections of European Roughly sock cabinet members, or lack of them, He’s not worried, and to be equally alert to the solid He’s not wet; evidence of British use of pressure He’s not shaken. . . . and power. That is the only way to Wanna bet? defeat propaganda. • • • It is difficult for officials to say Secretary Ickes was aboard a explicitly what caused the trouble in Greece, yet the inner evidence train derailed at 60 miles an hour. here plainly suggests the purpose of Unhurt, he says he didn't even know the revolt. It is reported through about it. And it will do no good to subterranean official avenues of show him the reports because he communication (arm y men and sen­ says he doesn’t believe what the ators have heard and believe it) newspaper says. • • • that a Russian colonel was discov­ “ I am not fond of dancing on a ered among the revolutionists, giv­ ing them m ilitary advice if not lead­ narrow stage,” says General Yama­ ing them. Also the firing began im ­ shita, Japanese commander-in-chief. After a time yon will find It amas- mediately after the prevailing Greek government had attempted to dis­ Ing, Yammie old thing, how easily band the guerilla forces in which you can do It to the tune of 'he the Communists were an element. “ Stars and Stripes Forever.” held in place with a bolt. You m ay be able to salvage n m etal wheel from som e discorded toy. The ducks are cut out of plywood with a Jig sow or by hand with a K*/.’ FOR | «CHILDS quilt L_ A F P L I O U l» ________ c o p in g su w . You muy like to outline the ducks onto the wood and take it to your neurest wood­ worker to be cut. They are then nailed to the sides of the w heel­ barrow nnd the fun of painting nnd stenciling begins. You Just trace the puttern on the wood und follow American troops in all corners of the globe have won the admiration of the youngsters of every nation. the color chart to get that wise Many of the war orphans have been adopted by Individuals and units of Ihe U. 8. armed forces. Congres­ expression in their big black eyes sional leaders In war zones have reported that the American soldier and sailor are doing more Io prevent future nnd the life-like yellow bills and feet. wars, by their cooperation with children, than any act of congress. • ‘Fighting T hird’ Giving “ a Good Account of Itself O O • • N O T E --P a tte rn 2M «Ives «n actual-elza culling and painting pattern for the large wheelbarrow ducks and lor sm aller ducks Io be used fur lawn ornaments or applique designs Large diagram s showing how Io cut and assemble Ihe wheelbarrow and a complete list of m aterials required are Included Ask for pattern 2flU and enclose IS cents with name and address, direct to; MRS. R t ’T II W Y E T H SPEARS Bedford Hills New York Draw er 10 Enclose 15 cents lor Pattern No 2M. N a m e ............................. ............................... A ddress........................................................ VilInner s Interest If as Not of an Earthly Sort The stranger visiting the little town w as staying at the local ho­ tel. F eeling a bit lonesom e, he sought to strike up a conversation with the hotel keeper, a woman. “ The villagers hereabout seem to be very friendly,” he said. “Oh, you don’t know them y et,” the woman replied. “ Come, com e now,” protested the lodger, “ they’re not too bad. Why Just this morning the chap with the little workshop down the street apiece asked about you. He said that you’d been ailing a bit lately. He seem ed quite interest­ The U. S. Third army has given an excellent account of itself during the entire war. Upper left, shows ed. Is he a relative?” “ N o !” replied the lady sharply, M aj. Gen. E. V. Landrum addressing officers and men during lull In activities somewhere In northern France. Lower left, largest ordnance tractor, used to haul 6 - Inch and 240-mm. guns for Third army. Center, search­ “ h e’s the village undertaker!” ing streets for lurking Nails. Right, Lieut. Gen. George 8. Patton, commanding general of the Third army, Squeeze the Trigger Take Nazis in Greenland One-Arm Hunter At Fort Custer, Mich., a soldier is taught to squeeze instead of pull the trigger of his rifle by a con­ traption that, when he m akes this m istake, gives him a resounding whack on the scat of his pants. Relief At Last For Your Cough Creomulslon relieves promptly be­ cause it goes right to the seat of the trouble to help loosen and expel erm laden phlegm, and aid nature 3 soothe and heal raw, tender, in­ flamed bronchial m ucous m em ­ branes. Tell your druggist to sell you a bottle of Creomulslon with the un­ derstanding you must like the way it quickly allays the cough or you are to have your money back. S CREOMULSION for Coughs. Chest Colds. Bronchitis LAUNDRY SOAP FREE W ith every C A SH O R D E R fo r 2 d o ttn 2 5 c pkjts. o f W ashing Powder, we include a t "g et acquainted" gift, 1 dozen 6c bars Laundry Soap. Mailed postpaid for $6 .00. On an isolated stretch of northeast Greenland, U. S. coastguardsmen surprised and captured a German radio-weather station, last enemy out­ post in Greenland. A 183-foot Nazi trawler and Its crew was also captured in nearby waters. Above shows coastguardsmen moving captured radio supplies. Greek Elas Troops Man Guns * The loss of an arm while deer hunting three years ago didn't pre­ vent Earl Hast, 31, o f Castle Shan­ non, Pa., from bagging this 160- pound buck. Hast shows how hr shoots his rifle on a tripod. Swiss President GENERAL PRODUCTS CO. (U-2). Albany. Ga. ( D e a le r « A J o b b e r s W r i t e f o r P r ic e s J COLD-CLOGGED NOSE Opens up Quickiy Kondon't Natal lolly has l>ccn a success for 55 year« in quickly