SOUTHERN OREGON MINER
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Friday, May 24, 1940
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PEN DRAWN
PORTRAITS
of OREGON
FOR THE MINER BY MAO PHERNON_________
Southern Oregon Miner
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Published Every Friday
at 167 East Main Street
ASHLAND. OREGON
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Entered as second-class
matter
February
15,
1935, at the postoffice at
Asiiliuiu. Oregon, under
the act of March 3, 1879.
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“THE TRUTH WILl./^1^
f"’ ■“
SET YOU FREE"
ONLY' DEMOCRACY CAN DELIVER
ITS OWN DEATH BLOW!
Increasingly disturbing are the admonishments
that defeat for the allies means defeat for democracy,
and reasoning people are inclined to agree that our
way of government may be hanging in the balance,
especially now that England has sacrificed her demo­
cracy for wealth-confiscating socialism.
However, the conclusion does not necessarily follow
that England and P'rance are fighting the fight of
democracy. Rather, it suggests that perhaps the allies
have loosely guarded democracy and thoughtlessly
left it to the mercy of totalitarian governments by
failing to strengthen democracy’s weaknesses.
And here in America our greatest danger lies not
in infiltration by fifth columns or attack by air, but
in a sudden realization on the part of the people that
totalitarian governments are more efficient, less un­
wieldy than our own!
And unless we make our democracy workable and
dress off much of our excess baggage, the American
people will be DEMANDING an American equivalent
of dictatorship!
We enjoy a reputation of being a direct, efficient
people, and if other forms of government are permit­
ted to become more effective than ours, then we can
expect plenty of unrest and dissatisfaction FROM
WITHIN. And the fault will not be that of any for­
eign power, but of our own!
LINDBERGH COMES THROUGH WITH
SOME BELATED LOGIC!
Although The Miner regards Col. Charles A. Lind­
bergh as a national hero who chose to make a fool
of himself, the Lone Eagle’s week-end radio address
showed that Lindy—or his ghost-writer—is capable of
some clear thinking when it comes to flying.
Several years ago, when it was the unpopular thing
to say, Lindbergh declared that the nazis possessed
the best air fleet in the world, one that was far super­
ior to the combined air forces of England and France.
The Flying Colonel was scored as being a traitor to
the democracies for such a “pro-German” statement,
but recent events have proved the truth of his obser­
vations. Those nations which did not believe the air­
plane was here to stay now are on their way out of
existence.
Said Lindbergh concerning the feared “invasion”
of America should Hitler win,
. above all, let us
stop this hysterical chatter of calamity and invasion
that has been running rife these last few days. The
course we have been following in recent months leads
to neither strength nor friendship nor peace ... It
will leave us hated by the victor and vanquished alike,
regardless of which way the tide of battle turns. On«
side will claim that we aided its enemies; the other,
that we did not help enough.
“If we desire peace we need only stop asking
for war. No one wishes to attack us, and no one
is in a position to do so.”
As an illustration of how true Lindbergh’s assur­
ance that no nation wishes to, or is in a position to
attack us, Germany’s invasion of the lowlands is ample
proof. The nazi high command has admitted that the
British Isles cannot be successfully invaded from the
air until bases are established LESS THAN 100 MILES
FROM THEIR OBJECTIVE!
By water, we know America is safe. And by air,
except for nuisance raids that could have little military
importance, we are too far removed from Europe for
invasion.
As Lindbergh pointed out, no European power is
meddling in our internal affairs, yet we are so nosey
we are insisting in meddling in the problems of Europe.
If we get into this present war—for any reason
short of actual invasion—it will only be because of our
colossal conceit and proclivity for minding everybody’s
business but our own. We pride ourselves for having
“won” the last war when actually about all we did was
kick the enemy when he already was on his knees!
And if Lindbergh remains as logical as his speech
this week, he soon may succeed in taking away that
bad taste in mouths of his former admirers.
You are cordially invited to
worship with us.
------------- •--------------
• Mr. and Mrs. Robert Dodge
spent last week-end at Lake o’
Dr. Claude E. Sayre, Vicar
the Woods at their summer cabin.
Holy communion, 8 a. m.
• Mr. and Mrs. Jess Lilly and
Church school, 9:30 a. m.
daughter Virginia visited with
Sermon and morning prayer, 11 friends in Klamath Falls Sunday
o’clock.
• Mr. and Mrs Bob Herndon of
Choir will meet Friday, 7:30 Portland and Mr. and Mrs. Bill
day, 9:30 a.m.
Herndon of Eugene visited here
Holy communion every Wednes- last week-end at the home of Mr.
p.m.
and Mrs. Walter Herndon.
Trinity Episcopal
Church
• Mr. nnd Mm Harvey Thompson
.m.l tainilv .ui.l Mt .iti'l Mi* N'"
bel Green and family of Fi rn val-
ley were visiting In Talent Tues
day evening and attending grad­
uation exercises
• Karl Allen, who is employed in
Klamath county, spent the week­
end with hia family.
• Harold Trefelheien, who la em­
ployed by the Talent market, la
ill thia week
• Miss A. Roae and Claudine Han
chez of L xm Angeles and Mr. and
Mrs. Roy Parr drove to Crater
Ijike Saturday Ml ax Roar and
Miss Sanchez are guests at the
Parr home.
• Mr nnd Mrs Husho of Kaffir
Point have purchased the Zemke
home on Anderson creek
• Mr nnd Mm. Charles Skeeters
have purchased the home ami five
acres of land from Kllnore Pow­
ers. Mr. and Mm Skeeters have
been living in the l.-umak house
for the last three years Mr. and
Mm. Lumak will move back into
their property when Skeeters have
moved.
• The second and third graders
of Talent held a picnic In Uthia
park Wednesday. Mina Gore and
Mias Fitzgerald, teachers, accom-
I pan led the children, as well as
parents
• Mr and Mm Tipaword and
, daughter, from Spring Valley,
Calif., Tuesday arrived to visit his
I brother, D D. Tipaword.
• Buford Childers of Wagner gap
I visited with his parents over the
week-end.
• "Die Talent Grange met In reg­
ular sesalon Thursday evening to
Initiate four new members In thr
third and fourth degrees The new
members are Mr and Mrs Ray
Fagan and Josephine and Alvin
Fenton Program was in observ­
ance of Mother's day and every­
one present wore a flower for the
occasion Following the program,
ice cream and cake were served
by the men. The next meeting
will honor Memorial day. Services
also will be held at that time.
Mr ami Mrs Htrvr Lumak. Mr
and Mrs George Hartley and Mr
and Mm Howard Holmca will
form the hospitality committee for
the next meeting
• Evelyn Rush and Miss June
Ixicke arc assisting with evan­
gelical meetings in the Wayside
church in Medford and are stop­
ping with the Reverend Hnldau
• Mr and Mrs Al Sherard at­
tended the auto races north <>f
Medford last Sunday.
• Mr and Mrs Roland Parks and
daughter Tammy arrived In the
valley
Tuesday
evening
Mr
i*ark's school in Sprague River
closed Friday, May 17.
• Mr and Mrs latwrcnce Bur­
nett and family have moved from
Miss Power's place to thr Watten-
burg property south of Talent
• The eighth grade members of
Talent school held graduation ex­
ercises Tuesday evening In thr
school gym The class Included
22 graduates.
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Editor and Publisher
CANADIAN FUR
TRADER AND ADFFNTURFR
THAT MILL1ON-FOR-HITLER
OFFER
Mr. Samuel Harden Church.
The Carnegie Institute,
Pittsburgh, Pa.
WHO WAS A MEMBER OF
JOHN JACOB ASTOff'S
EHTEWR/SE AT A5T0R/A"\
Dear Samuel:
I have read your offer of a million
smackers for the capture of Adolf
Hitler and in reply I would state
that the proposition interests me.
But I do not like the way you empha­
size the part about his being caught
“alive, unwounded and unhurt.”
What about me?
•
•
•
However, it is a novel idea and
the most original business proposal
of a decade. I know of no cash of­
fer like it since the depression and
it is good to know there is a man in
this country who knows where to
get a million dollars these days.
For that much money there are peo­
ple who would do anything. The big
drawback is that Hitler has got such
a big start, and I don't think it
sporting to limit the offer to May.
This is pretty short notice for grab­
bing a guy who has been on the
loose so long, and besides. May is a
hard month for the capturing busi­
ness on account of the birds and
bees and little green things furnish­
ing so much distraction from any
pursuit Could you extend the time
through June?
cast
unto Mivt >
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'ALL DONE BY MIRRORS’
"The New York police department
today began distributing leaflets in­
scribed 'A healthy driver is a safe
driver' in a campaign to keep down
auto accidents. The health of a
motorist is an important considera­
tion in any safety drive,' said Police
Commissioner Valentine. 'There are
many accidents caused by sudden
illness.’ "—News item.
Apple sauce! Also hassenpfef-
fer, baloney and bunk! A healthy
driver is not necessarily a safe
driver; we have been chased up
alleys by some of the healthiest
drivers In existence and knocked
for a goal by drivers who were
notably in the pink.
• • •
FAT GIRL: 1940
You’ll get thinner by and by,
If on a diet you plan to sup.
Meanwhile let them laugh at you;
Chins up, little lady, chins up!
Richard Avedon.
• • •
Comedian Jack Haley’s definition
of Yale is "a period between a
change in voice and a job as an in­
surance salesman."
• • •
DAYLIGHT SAVING CHAOS
Today at timetables I stare,
And find a train that won't be there;
It’s where it ain’t, the trainmen
say—
1 guess I will not go away I
«*■
-A6T Fe 'Xr
namely the "locusts” or parachute
troops. whose objective la to get Into
the enemy’s radio and telegraph of­
fices, disrupt communications, and
cause as much confusion as possi­
ble behind the lines
6
ARGENTINE NEUTRALITY
w
And are you serious about the
"undamaged, unwounded and un­
hurt” clause in your spring offer?
Are you willing to stretch a point?
I mean would it be okay if Adolf is
brought in with a little mouse over
one eye or with a lock of his hair
missing? It would be a helluva note
if I catch him and you rule the
capture illegal just because he
says that his back hurts him or
something.
• • •
Who is going to judge whether he
is hurt or not? I want a good ref­
eree as I have a hunch that Adolf
will do a lot of squawking when he
finds himself in Pittsburgh in a "Mil­
lion Dollar Thirty Days Only Con­
test." and he may insist that he is in
terrible condition instead of being
undamaged and as good as new. In
fact I think you should stretch a
point and say that if he is warped
a little in transit the cash offer will
still stand.
• • •
And about the idea of trying him.
I do not want any part of that If
I deliver him it is up to you and
Pittsburgh to run the trial. I am
taking no chances on trials. AU he
would have to do would be to get a
good lawyer to say that he wasn’t
quite clear mentally. Then there
would be the old business of get­
ting the psychiatrists to ask him a
lot of questions and then report he
was clearly a victim of the fact
his folks made him eat lettuce with­
out sugar in his boyhood or some­
thing. He would get put on proba-
tian and in no time would be on
the loose again. So I want the cash
on delivery, Sam.
• • •
Let me hear further details from
you soon.
Yours,
Elmer Twitchell.
P. S.—What are you offering this
week for Mussolini?
• • •
A. J
NEW YORK AIR DEFENSE
Washington, D. C.
The army is not anxious to pub­
licize the fact, but as of today there
are only 39 anti-aircraft guns in the
whole New York city defense area.
Six months ago not even the most
cautious generals would have wor­
ried about this. But after watching
German air operations in the past
month, and after doing a little fig­
uring with paper and pencil on the
flight performances of German
planes, the army is rushing more
aircraft guns to the nation's biggest
city.
Twenty-two battalions with 264 ad­
ditional guns will be sent to New
If anyone around the state de­
partment ever had any doubt that
Cordell Hull was not a candidate
for President, they changed their
minds after seeing him sit upon the
Argentine proposal for the American
nations to give up neutrality for a
state of ''non-belligerency.'*
This
meant a status somewhat similar to
Italy's—but friendly to the allies in-
stead of to Hitler
The Argentines pointed out that,
like President Roosevelt, they had
sent sympathetic messages to the
king and queen of Belgium and Hol­
land; that they had Impounded the
money and property of the Low
Countries in order to keep It out of
Nazi hands; and that as a matter
of cold fact, none of the Pan-Amerl-
cans was really neutral anyway.
• • •
German Supplies.
BEHIND THE CLOUDS
AmbuuJiir iMlhmn of Great Britain
(left) and Ambattador de Saint Quen­
tin of trance find tomelhing to rbeer
them after a conference in U aihing
ton uith State Department oficialt.
York ax soon as the army can get
them, but that will not be before
the end of the year.
Note—The arithmetic which wor­
ried the army was thia: Norway
to Iceland, 733 miles; Iceland to
Newfouadland. 1,500 miles; New-
foundland to New England. 800
miles.
More arithmetic: German Mes-
serschmitt No. 110s have a flying
range of 1,700 miles; I German bomb-
ers have a minimum range of 1.230
miles, most of them more; and Ger­
many has between 8,000 and 10,000
of them.
• • •
NAZI STRATEGY
When Sumner Welles was in Ber­
lin on his peace pilgrimage, the Hit­
ler entourage told him flatly that if
Britain wanted to continue the war,
Germany was ready to lose 9,000
planes—if necessary—in raining the
greatest barrage of bombs in his­
tory on England.
With Dutch air bases, plus new
submarine bases in Norway, the
Nazis plan to put the greatest
squeeze in history on England, sub­
ject her to a terrific air bombard­
ment, and land invading forces for
the first time since the triumphal
march of William the Conqueror
in 1066.
The military strategy of the Nazis
is the old Schlieffen plan used by
the kaiser’s troops in the last war.
Briefly summarized, the plan is:
Outflank, Develop, Destroy.
To this, the Nazis have added
some streamlining of their own,
ADD SIMILES
As individual as the way a person
opens a boiled egg.
As shabby looking as your old
shoes when you are trying on a new
pair.
As long-winded as credit titles In
a movie.—Wallace Reyburn.
Diplomats arriving here from Her-
iin tell a significant story of Ger­
many's shortage of food and materi­
als.
Undoubtedly this had some­
thing to do with Hitler's decision to
stake everything on victory this
summer.
Returning officials report that
•'Ersatz" coffee is brtwed from ap­
ple peelings.
The shortage is not only in food-
stuffs but also in clothing, which is
rationed to insure the supply for
the armed forces. A woman may
buy clothing only to the extent of 100
"points" in the course of a whole
year.
And a single pair of silk
stockings rates 30 points.
More important from the military
viewpoint is the report that German
gasoline is of such poor quality that
it befouls the motors and causes
frequent replacements.
In other words, the question of
observers is—how long is the supply
line?
Note—German people are forbid-
den to listen to foreign radio broad-
casts, but in many German houae-
holds at night you might aee a
strange looking mound covered by
a bedspread—the family huddled to­
gether secretly near the radio, lis­
tening to broadcasts from overseas.
------------- •--------------
• Elmer Cook, Russel) and Rol­
and Parks spent Wednesday at
Fish lake.
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• Mrs. F. Cronin of Portland is
a guest of Mr. and Mrs. Ben
Clark this week. Mrs. Cronin and
Mr. Clark and brother and sister.
------------- •--------------
• Subscribe for The Miner today.
sod
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Have the lime oí your life on Treas­
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Of 11
WAV
• Talent city officials have pur­
chased a new service truck.
• Mr and Mrs. Wayne Cowdrey
and family spent Sunday near
Butte Falls visiting relatives.
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