Page 4
Friday, September 21, 1934
The JACKSONVILLE MINER
once and snappily remarked that everything
though having provided a proper seawall
that will keep the ocean In its
place. And they proceeded to build
one that has proved adequate for
thep urpoee ever since.
If the poor, old superstitious nit­
wits of Sodom and Gomorrah had
been posseseed of half the cour­
age of the men of Galveston and
tion to go north to Seattle so. ricane ran out of material and had Frisco, they would have built their
purchasing a first-class ticket, to quit. I finally came out of it ciUes again on the shores of the
Stormy Pacific Stands on which
also included bed and board. after having thrown up everything Dead Sea and continued living
End While Frisco Quake I engaged
passage on the Jeannie, but my appendix, and though pret­ there, provided they liked the lo­
of the smaller steamers plying ty wobbly on my legs, I managed cation. But in those days of super­
Topples and Burns City, one
up and down the coast, leaving my to stagger to the table And did I stition, every little thing from a
Tells Applegate Miner friend in Oakland, where he lived. do
anything to those fine grocer­ hailstorm to a seismic upheaval
And we sailed smack into the ies" i’ll tell the world I did! I had wee attributed to an angry God.
By J. C, REYNOLDS
worst storm that had swept the with mo three little funny books
There are quite a few people yet
It seems to be the fashion when­ coast in 20 years. At least, so I had picked up on the train some today in the world so dominated
ever anyone mentions anything everybody said Now I had sailed time previously. They were a lit­ by superstition they can’t think
that has to do with psychic phe­ around on the Atlantic quite a bit, tle off-color but so darned comical straight But it takes all kinds of
nomena for a lot of wise folks to had been off Cape Hatteras in a that no one could read them with­ people to make a world like this
bad blow and prided myself on out having a big laugh. I lent one
sit right up and yell “fake!"
—•—
I will admit that a lot of it is being quite a sailor But let me to the steward in return for some
Any
game
may
seem foolish un­
fake. But can you show me a busi- tell you that the Atlantic, with little favor and he s<x»n got the til one really learns to play it, or
ness. profession, or religion that all her hard-boiled reputation, isn’t other two. He told the others and else finds it too difficult to learn.
is wholly free of fake? So it is a circumstance to old man Pacific soon I was the most popular per­
Weston Leader.
poor policy to denounce anything when he gets riled up. I went down son on board. All the ship’s crew
entirely as a fake, just because a in a pile before we had gotten wanted to read them and did an.
Looks as though future genera­
certain percent of fake has been outside the Golden Gate and most even in the limited time we had tions
will not only have their own
of
the
passengers
followed
suit
before
reaching
Seattle.
Nothing
found in it.
financial problems to solve, hut
However, I do not care to argue soon after. Even the captain's wife, was too g<K»d for me after that and ours.
Weston Ix'ader.
about it. so will simply relate cer­ who had sailed with him for 20 when we docked the purser, stew­
------ •--------------
ard, first mate and engineer took
tain things that happened to me. years, became seasick.
The esteemed Blue Mountain
About 10 days before the earth-
We had two Christian Scientists me up to the New England hotel Eagle says
the scum of society is
quake. I was strolling around the on board and they gave us the where they stayed, and paid for always at the
top and must I m *
streets of San Francisco with a horse-laugh at first, but next day everything. I had to sneak away skimmed off Kindly
us.
friend when we noticed a sign were just as sick as we were. I from them finally to avoid getting Brother Eagle, when the advise
skimmer
which set forth that Ismar the hate to say this, because I think stewed.
It was then I first heard of the is scumming Weston Ix'ader
Gypsy could be found within. This highly of Christian Science and the
Ismar was one of the most cele­ cheerful, agreeable, sincere people disaster at Frisco, and was surely
brated clairvoyants in the United who practice it. But truthfully, I thankful I had come away from
States and we had read and heard have seen several conditions that there before that happened. That
much of the things she had done Christian Science doesn’t seem to must have been an awful mess
and could do. So my friend said. be able to handle and seasickness with houses tumbling down, fires
"Let's go in and see if she can tell is one of them. At least seasick­ starting up in hundreds of places
us anything interesting.” I said. ness like we had on that trip. and all the water pipes busted.
“All right: might as well sluff off Maybe their faith was not strong The old colored lady, standing
amongst the falling buildings and
a little money that way as to try enough.
praying fervently to the Lord for
to drink it all up as some of these
I will not venture to say how aid
described the situation very
fellows around here seem to be high those waves were, as I might
doing." “You can do the talking." not be believed. But they were accurately: "Oh Lawd, come down
be proposed, "and I'U go along and plenty high and our little 300-foot and help us. Doan’t send your Son.
keep tab on what she tells you." steamer would skate up the side Lawd. Come down your own self.
I told him there were four or five of one and then fall down the Dis here ain’t no boy’s job." I have
questions I would like to ask her other side, with a corkscrew wig­ seen several old fogy fundamental­
and. taking out my memorandum gle that would sure drag out the ists since who declared solemnly
that the Lord sent that calamity
book, I wrote down five, tore the insides of anybody.
on San Francisco to punish the in­
page out. doubled it twice and
The only place I could get a mo­ habitants for their wickedness.
tucked it snugly in my vest pocket. ment
’s peace was on my back in
Then we went in. Ismar was one bed in
There is no doubt that Frisco
my room in the center of was
of these clairvoyants who adver­ the
a wicked city. I could write
vessel.
I
made
many
attempts
tise to call you by name when you to get out in the fresh air and books about the wickedness I saw
first meet them.
myself and then not tell
fight off this sickness, but soon there
more than a fraction of it. But the
Being skeptical, as usual. I had had
to
fly
back
to
my
bed.
where
men of that city did not figure
my doubts about this and. imag­
hear the agonizing groans that
the Lord was at fault in any
ining it to be just a case of mind I of could
people
on
all
sides
of
me.
I
was
reading, I determined to hold an­ so sick myself that I took no fur­ way. They knew the disaster was
other name in my mind and see if ther interest in living. If someone owing entirely to a seismic dis­
I couldn't fool her. Ismar herself had come rushing into my room turbance that might occur any­
where. So they built the city again,
opened the door and shook hands with
that w’e had stronger
■ IVA I
Children 10<-
than ever, and provided
with me. seeming to understand struck the a information
rock
and
were
headed
at once that I was the one with straight for the bottom I would better safeguards against future
whom she would have to transact have shouted. “Hurray for hell: upheavals of the same nature.
Saturday Only
And I presume that San Fran­
business. To my friend she merely anything for a moment of peace
cisco is fully as wicked today, if
murmured a polite greeting. I fan­
this everlasting vomiting.” not more so, than it ever was.
KEN MAYNARD in
cied she held my hand a trifle from
The
second
day
the
captain
came
When
Galveston.
Texas,
was
de
­
longer than was necessary and,
to jolly me up a little. I stroyed by a tidal wave, these
feeling sure she was trying to read around
said to him, "Captain, if there are same
fundamentalists wagged
my mind. I held firmly in my any
islands out here please stop their heads and spoke of Sodom
thoughts the name of Frank at one
of
them
and
I
’
ll
get
off.
“PIRATE TREASURE"
and Gomorrah and how the Lord
Brown. But it was no use.
I’ve sure had enough of this.” That had visited punishment on wicked
Presently she spoke: "Mr. Rey­ tickled
the
captain.
He
told
me
nolds, Mr. John C. Reynolds, I be­ there were no islands along our Galveston.
Sunday and Monday
But the people of Galveston said
lieve; glad to meet you.” As Ismar route and I simply would have to
to my certain knowledge had never stay with it. You see. to avoid "the fault is all our own for not
44
before laid eyes on me, this rather bumping into those rocky cliffs
got my goat. Inviting us to be along
that coast we had to put
seated, she informed us she gave away out
into the middle of the
NOEL COW ARD’S PICTURE
five different kinds of readings Pacific somewhere
and all that
OF THE GENERATION
and asked me which kind I would could be seen on any
was
want. I replied I would take two, water standing on end. side
To
make
LIVESTOCK
]
a trance and a palm reading. I matters worse, they have the fin­
Tuesday and Wednesday
really have a lot of confidence in
kind of eats on these vessels
a palm reading, for the reason that est
and
every
time
my
door
opened.
I
no two palms on earth have simi­ could see the long tables loaded EXPOSIT
lar lines and markings in their down with all the good things im­
hands And perhaps these lines
and I couldn’t get there
have a significant bearing on the aginable
with Edward Everett Horton
eat any of it. They say sea­
lives of the owners. I do not claim to
and Edna May Oliver
sickness
is
never
fatal,
but
I
am
to know a great deal about palm­ positive if mine had lasted one
istry, though I have owned and more day I would have been as
studied several books on the sub­ dead as a smoked codfish.
Thursday and Friday
ject and have had a lot of it ex­
the next room to mine was a
plained to me by teachers of the fat In woman
issxd
weighed close to
art. To be truthful. I don’t ex­ 300 pounds. who
She
was
just
about
as
actly believe in it, nor do I entirely sick as anyone could get. She
disbelieve.
for the purser and,
with SALLY EILERS
PORTLAND, OREGON
Anyway, she sat down and kept calling
he came trotting down the
ZASU PITTS
threw herself into a trance in prob­ finally,
October 6 to 13
in his natty blue uniform
ably less than half a minute. Then stairs
with
shiny
brass
buttons
all
over
1* Shows In O m — II ocret under aae
she began to tell me all about It. The fat woman was lying on
roof Exhibit» of pure-bred livettodi.
myself and my occupation and her bed but when he opened the
Oofs, Poultry, Pet Stock, Wild life, tend
warned me against taking a trip door rolled over to tell him what
Product», Manufactured Product», 4-H
into the desert, as I had secretly she wanted and zingo! everything
Clubond Smith-Hughe» Vocational Edu
been figuring on, as it would be a she had eaten for a couple of days
cation Wark; Combination Horsa Show
losing venture. Then she startled struck him in the breast, spoiling
and Indscr Rodeo
me again by remarking. "I see his uniform and causing him to
you have brought a list of ques­ utter some of the most picturesque
LARGE
PREMIUM LISTS
tions you wish to ask me," and language 1 ever heard. Before he
Acrown from Roxy Theater
began to read them off and answer had done I think he had called her REDUCED FARES-ALL LINF<
them, though I had not yet re­
moved the paper on which they 1
were written from my vest pocket.
Expert Radio Repair
Just let something like that hap­
WITH COMPLETE
pen to you and see if It doesn’t
Miss Sally Cole and
make funny little shivers run up
MODERN EQUIPMENT
and down your backbone.
The Gnomes Invite You
EARLY OR LATE PHONE 666
Later she read my hand. In fact,
both of my hands and, looking at
To
Enjoy
Their
a line in my right hand, informed
me I was going to be deathly sick
Hospitality . . .
Medford Cycle and
Inside of nine days, at which I
grinned as, except for a slight
Repair Shop
siege of mountain fever, I had
GUNSMITH
—LOCKSMITH
hardly been sick a day in my life.
Ijtwn Mower Service
In fact, I was so healthy I was
Phone 261
23 North Fir
ashamed of it, as Teddy Roosevelt
used to say. She took offense at
but
a
lady,
as that particular eventually he apologized He tokl
OLD SOURDOUGH I line need told not the laugh,
truth and I would find me afterwards that he was usually
it to be so.
very respectful to women, but he
on my intended des­ said that old hell-cat could lie on
MISSES FRISCO ert Her trip advise
came so straight that, af­ her back and vomit all over the
ter thinking it over carefully. I ceiling and he had seen her do it.
decided to give it up. Then, in
To make a short story shorter,
QUAKE BY WEEK about
a week, I took a sudden no­ it was three days before our hur­
DANCE
Saturday till
2
*
Jacksonville
ROXY 20c
Strawberry Roan
CAVALCADE”
"Clark Wood is never more alone
than when alone with Ids own
thoughts." says Olin Miller We
must admit we have nothing on
our mind after reading Olin’s col­
umn. Weston Ix'uder.
CRATZRIAN
Muta ’We • Even SA«' • KI<1<1I<MI 10c
Ends Sa tur day
Adults 25c - Kiddies 10c
•I
Fri-Snt
JOHN WAYNE
The Lucky Texan
SAT. NIGHT I« I’KKVI K NITE!
Sun-Mon-Tue
Sun-Mon
<>£///<•/
GâYNOR
AYRES
Servants
Entrance
.4
FOX
»ith
NEB SPARKS j
WALTER CONNOLLY
U9TCNT
LOUISE DRESSER
Starts Wednesday
Tue-Wed-Tliur
HAROLD
H. B. WARNER
LLOYD
In
“Sorrel and Son
in
TV
“The Cat’s Paw”
Dr. H. P. Coleman
TYPEWRITER
SERVICE A
Chiropnu-tk- - Phy slotheraphy
Oregon License 264
California Ucenae 3029
14 Years in Medford, Oregon
TRY THE N
HOPEI. UNDID»
TYPEWRITE
S. C. PETERS
(D.M.D.)
Dentist
K their
latter
n that
•”ith-
Taylor and Bie
SI N. Central—Telephone 113
Medford
CONGER
Opposite Pont Office
Fl NERAL PARLORS
JACKSONVILLE
Medford, Oregon
THE POOR RICH
ORSE
SHOW
RODEO 3 on a Honeymoon
RADIO°SERVICE
DINE and DANCE
Medford School
of Beauty Culture
AT
i ■ ■
■
... -
R. W. Sleeter, M. D,
202 Medford Bldg.
GNOME INN
410'/2 EAST MAIN
PHONE 84
BEAUTY SERVICES
AT A SAVING
Permanent Wave ............... 02.00
Finger Wave ......................... Me
Comb Wave .......................... JMe
Shampoo —............................. 25c
Haircut .................................... Me
Marcel ....................... •-.•••....-.---25c
Manicure .................................. 25c
Eyebrow Arch ...................... 25c
Scalp Treatment .................... 50c
Hot Oil...................
50c
Facails .................................... 50c
■ ■ -
THE
r
Good Floor, Good Music, Good Beer and
Tasty Lunches ... Amid Pleasant
Surroundings . . .
MUSIC DURING LUNCHEON AND FROM 3 TO 12
EVERY WEEK-DAY EVENING
•
323 East Main Street—At the Sign of the Gnomes
PHONE 285—MEDFORD
/
I*hone 4
Medford
Office Phone 446
MEDFORD
GLASS CO.
MIRRORS, RE-SILVERING
BEVELING, POLISHING
EDGES, WINDOW, PLATE
AND AUTOMOBILE
GLASS
36 S. Bartlett St.
Medford
SERVICE!
Continuing a policy of this company, in
effect for many years, we are offering
to you at this time the most complete
building service available in southern
Oregon, including the following:
ASSISTANCE LN SE<’( RING LOANS
UNDER THE TERMS OF
THE NATIONAL HOUSING ACT
HOME OWNERS’ LOAN CORP
FEDERAL BUILDING & LOAN
ASSOCIATION
Complete information and application
blanks available for the above upon re­
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A representative will call daytime or
evenings and assist in the preparation of
PLANS and ESTIMATES
OF COST
Avail Yourself of This Opportunity
to Repair or Remodel
TI mber
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Pi
MIOFOSO
End North Central
ontaos
Phone 7
A Good Firm to Trade With