' OUR COM IC SECTION W Kk Humor A C C O M M O D A T IN G M A ID A young wife tried her band one day at Scotch shortbreuil She was sc A woman murmured to another well pleased with her suecesa that she woman during an aria at the opera. spread a piece of shortbread with ap "That new French maid of the ple batter and gave It to a boy who Jones-Browne* la the nicest creature. was rolling the tennis court. So obliging, so very obliging." The boy returned In a few minutes "Yes? How ao?" aaid the other and said: woman. “ Much obliged for the apple batter, T h la morning," said the first one. ma'am. Here's your piece o’ board "1 saw her out with Mrs. Jonee- back." Browr.es baby; this afternoon I saw her with Mrs. Jones-Browne’s dog. and tonight I saw her out with Mrs. Jones SAILED IN A N A R K Browne's husband." C H A N C E TO RISE "As he had neither rodder nor sails Noah must have sailed In a circle." “ Not a complete one then— we’re told he sailed In an arc." R. S. V. P. Hs kissed her lips so ligh tly. In a manner quits su fa it; Then whispered, moet politely, "Reapondes e l l t o us plain " “ Why'd yer take a milk-wagon Job! There ain’t any rlnmce to rise?" “Believe me there la— at five o'clock every morn In '!" Geography Note Greenland and Iceland don't swap names. Is som ething that pussies ms; Thoroughly Explained For Iceland s green er than Greenland, “ What la ratioT' asked the profes w h ile sor. “ Ratio la proportion," s«ld the etude. “ What is proportion V "Proportion is ratio." “ Rut what are ratio and propor tion r “ Each other."—New Haven Regis ter. They Could Have It W hy Greenland's the Icier, see? Literary Notes "And so you have decided to plnngv yourself Into the literary world, doc to rr “ Tea, Indeed, I have. Too have nc Idea what an enormous demand there Is for books on symptoms among the people who haven't anything the mat ter with them !” oh, MICKIE, THE PRINTER'S DEVIL C NOW FOB A U L G A M E OF GOLF BEFORE «SUPPER * JUST TIM E TO RDU OUT AiiO Paw! a w y o u b e a t - t u â t ? T H E CAR. IS G O N E f PLAY NIUE HO LES A grocery salesman for a wholesale Refuge in the Unknowable nouse threw a banana skin beneath "What uo yon Intend to talk about a seat o f a train In which he w n In your next speech?" riding. “The Einstein theory." ’’Here, sir, the company won’t hare •Can you explain It?" this I" said the brakeman. “1 can come as near explaining ll "All right," replied the salesman And "divide It among you and the other as anybody I have listened to It has the advantage o f not making boys." you enem'ee. no nutter what you say.’ A lw a y s Sad Case Cause of Delay t h e w ay ! a m an WORKS WARD TO 0 U V A C AR AVID T P EVI WHEW HE WAUW "Ton don’t seem to like the ledy who Grocer (suggestively)— You haven't lives next door to you.” remarked Mrs paid that little bill of mine. yet. Brown. Legislator (pensively)— N o; It has “ No, I don’t " admitted Mrs. Smith. only Just passed the second reading. "She Is so well fixed she never has to borrow a thing from me when she B O T H V E R Y STRONG gives a party, and the result la I am never Invited. ~rc> u s e nr, h i s w i f e is O u r G a OOIWG- AROUND OH, A R E YOU HOME®? YOU MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN "THE C A R x-irS PARKED v . ( DOWN TOWM J 1 O F COURSE N O T TO BE EXPECTED Stewpan— I hear yoa got caught In the rain. Mr Ball. Bell— Tea. and got ringing wet! Progress A mod »st mkaa I asod Boarding house-butter — Are overlooking mol you Ain’t ft the T uth, Ruth? to £>atnty. s w * » t — o o le n g o r A t a lad y ah# kogar.. haov, so! Mow s h o t quit# o asatlomam. « l u i a oh lid. I used to To bo n bird and tw lttv r. fm w isst now — 'tls my ambish T o bo n homo-run bitter. Oft. Economy wish Sure Sign Visitor— How la It that you have a "So Bilk 1rs la dead. Did be leave picture of Juat one of the twina much?” Mr*. Thrifty— They both look exact "1 think not. Hla heirs all seem to ly alike, at' what s the dlfTerenco? be o b the beet terms with each other." Possibly Musically Expressed Jack— So you popped Into Ethel s A* ary. eh? What was la It? Algy—Something like thte: Jan. & oae giaee of milk; Jan. a three glaaoes >f milk; Jan. JO, four g asses of milk, and so am. "1 told my husband about times gowns that are salting for a song." -What did be eoy r "Tie Mid If 1 exported htie to fu r alnh the notes I'd better change my team” Limited “Mary’s got a job as a stenog." "What. Mary—n o!" "Honest I" “ Do va s'pose she'll get by?" “ Well, she may. at that. T'see her boss told her right off he’s a man of few words an’ that sounded encour agin’ to Mary—she don’t know very many."— Rehoboth Sunday Herald. P R O V ID E D W IT H A BELLE Just the Type Reggie— "So few people seem to talk sense to me. Miss Sherpe." Miss Sharpe— ’ Flow could you expect them t<K Mr. Sapp." Crocodile Tears Exasperated Husband (handing a tewr-etalned w ife his note case* — Here, for goodneM sake, stop crying In the afreet and go and buy the beastly hat. W ife—Ton are a darling. Just bold thla onion a moment. Recruiting Officer— Here you are. sir. Join the marines. We need you In China. Timid Soul—All right, sir. But wait till I get home and tell Maria. She doesn't like to have me gone long without telling her. First Sport—"What, you have no horn on your car?" Second Sport—’T l ave a belle with me every time I go tmL" Not That Crazy Might Be Worse Lady— I should think you would be ashamed to beg in this neighbor hood. Tramp— Don't apologia# for It, ma’am; I’ ve seen worse. Plenty of It Better Wear ’Em Ie o tis t—Toe yelled like e wild man I thought you had ut I s m « little nerve. Wilkins (nursing hla Jaw)— Wail. I did. Yea'U find U la that tooth. Ahem ! "Clothes give a man a lot of com fidene*.“ "Tea. they certainly dev I go a lot i f place# with them that I wouldn't go without them." — Hardware Age. A Wise Cracker She— I dreamed last night that a most handsome man saved mo from a bandit. He— It's possible. Tee been taking boxing loM ooa. Owner o f Ancient Car— I'm afraid I shall have to ask you to walk up this hUI. Passenger— Righto, old chap; I’ll wait for you at the top I “ Why are you not working with the rest?" asked the lady visitor to tho asylum. “ I ni craxy," was the candid reply. “ But surely craxy people can work," argued the lady. "Yea," retorted the lumate, "but I'm not so craxy as that* Immune to Torture A writer of popular tongs is Mid to be deaf. It seems s very unfair ad- vantage.—London Opinion,