Ashland American. (Ashland, Jackson County, Or.) 1927-1927, June 03, 1927, Image 2

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    ' OUR COM IC SECTION
W Kk
Humor
A C C O M M O D A T IN G M A ID
A young wife tried her band one day
at Scotch shortbreuil She was sc
A woman murmured to another
well pleased with her suecesa that she woman during an aria at the opera.
spread a piece of shortbread with ap­
"That new French maid of the
ple batter and gave It to a boy who Jones-Browne* la the nicest creature.
was rolling the tennis court.
So obliging, so very obliging."
The boy returned In a few minutes
"Yes? How ao?" aaid the other
and said:
woman.
“ Much obliged for the apple batter,
T h la morning," said the first one.
ma'am. Here's your piece o’ board "1 saw her out with Mrs. Jonee-
back."
Browr.es baby; this afternoon I saw
her with Mrs. Jones-Browne’s dog. and
tonight I saw her out with Mrs. Jones
SAILED IN A N A R K
Browne's husband."
C H A N C E TO RISE
"As he had neither rodder nor sails
Noah must have sailed In a circle."
“ Not a complete one then— we’re
told he sailed In an arc."
R. S. V. P.
Hs kissed her lips so ligh tly.
In a manner quits su fa it;
Then whispered, moet politely,
"Reapondes e l l t o us plain "
“ Why'd yer take a milk-wagon Job!
There ain’t any rlnmce to rise?"
“Believe me there la— at five o'clock
every morn In '!"
Geography Note
Greenland and Iceland
don't
swap names.
Is som ething that pussies ms;
Thoroughly Explained
For Iceland s green er than Greenland,
“ What la ratioT' asked the profes­
w h ile
sor.
“ Ratio la proportion," s«ld the
etude.
“ What is proportion V
"Proportion is ratio."
“ Rut what are ratio and propor­
tion r
“ Each other."—New Haven Regis
ter.
They Could Have It
W hy
Greenland's the Icier, see?
Literary Notes
"And so you have decided to plnngv
yourself Into the literary world, doc
to rr
“ Tea, Indeed, I have. Too have nc
Idea what an enormous demand there
Is for books on symptoms among the
people who haven't anything the mat­
ter with them !”
oh,
MICKIE, THE PRINTER'S DEVIL
C
NOW FOB A U L G A M E
OF GOLF BEFORE
«SUPPER * JUST TIM E
TO RDU OUT AiiO
Paw!
a w y o u b e a t - t u â t ?
T H E CAR. IS G O N E f
PLAY NIUE
HO LES
A grocery salesman for a wholesale
Refuge in the Unknowable
nouse threw a banana skin beneath
"What uo yon Intend to talk about
a seat o f a train In which he w n
In your next speech?"
riding.
“The Einstein theory."
’’Here, sir, the company won’t hare
•Can you explain It?"
this I" said the brakeman.
“1 can come as near explaining ll
"All right," replied the salesman
And
"divide It among you and the other as anybody I have listened to
It has the advantage o f not making
boys."
you enem'ee. no nutter what you say.’
A lw a y s
Sad Case
Cause of Delay
t h e w ay
!
a m an
WORKS WARD TO 0 U V A C AR
AVID T P EVI WHEW HE WAUW
"Ton don’t seem to like the ledy who
Grocer (suggestively)— You haven't
lives next door to you.” remarked Mrs
paid that little bill of mine. yet.
Brown.
Legislator (pensively)— N o; It has
“ No, I don’t " admitted Mrs. Smith.
only
Just passed the second reading.
"She Is so well fixed she never has to
borrow a thing from me when she
B O T H V E R Y STRONG
gives a party, and the result la I am
never Invited.
~rc> u s e nr, h i s w i f e is
O u r G a OOIWG- AROUND
OH, A R E YOU HOME®?
YOU MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN
"THE C A R x-irS PARKED v
.
(
DOWN TOWM J 1
O F COURSE
N O T TO BE EXPECTED
Stewpan— I hear yoa got caught In
the rain. Mr Ball.
Bell— Tea. and got ringing wet!
Progress
A
mod »st
mkaa I
asod
Boarding house-butter — Are
overlooking mol
you
Ain’t ft the T uth, Ruth?
to
£>atnty. s w * » t — o o le n g o r
A t a lad y ah# kogar..
haov,
so!
Mow s h o t quit# o asatlomam.
« l u i a oh lid. I used to
To bo n bird and tw lttv r.
fm w isst now — 'tls my ambish
T o bo n homo-run bitter.
Oft.
Economy
wish
Sure Sign
Visitor— How la It that you have a
"So Bilk 1rs la dead. Did be leave
picture of Juat one of the twina
much?”
Mr*. Thrifty— They both look exact­
"1 think not. Hla heirs all seem to
ly alike, at' what s the dlfTerenco?
be o b the beet terms with each other."
Possibly
Musically Expressed
Jack— So you popped Into Ethel s
A* ary. eh? What was la It?
Algy—Something like thte: Jan. &
oae giaee of milk; Jan. a three
glaaoes >f milk; Jan. JO, four g asses
of milk, and so am.
"1 told my husband about times
gowns that are salting for a song."
-What did be eoy r
"Tie Mid If 1 exported htie to fu r
alnh the notes I'd better change my
team”
Limited
“Mary’s got a job as a stenog."
"What. Mary—n o!"
"Honest I"
“ Do va s'pose she'll get by?"
“ Well, she may. at that. T'see her
boss told her right off he’s a man of
few words an’ that sounded encour­
agin’ to Mary—she don’t know very
many."— Rehoboth Sunday Herald.
P R O V ID E D W IT H A BELLE
Just the Type
Reggie— "So few people seem to
talk sense to me. Miss Sherpe." Miss
Sharpe— ’ Flow could you expect them
t<K Mr. Sapp."
Crocodile Tears
Exasperated Husband (handing a
tewr-etalned w ife his note case* —
Here, for goodneM sake, stop crying
In the afreet and go and buy the
beastly hat.
W ife—Ton are a darling. Just bold
thla onion a moment.
Recruiting Officer— Here you are.
sir. Join the marines. We need you
In China.
Timid Soul—All right, sir. But wait
till I get home and tell Maria. She
doesn't like to have me gone long
without telling her.
First Sport—"What, you have no
horn on your car?" Second Sport—’T
l ave a belle with me every time I go
tmL"
Not That Crazy
Might Be Worse
Lady— I should think you would
be ashamed to beg in this neighbor­
hood.
Tramp— Don't
apologia# for It,
ma’am; I’ ve seen worse.
Plenty of It
Better Wear ’Em
Ie o tis t—Toe yelled like e wild man
I thought you had ut I s m « little
nerve.
Wilkins (nursing hla Jaw)— Wail. I
did. Yea'U find U la that tooth.
Ahem !
"Clothes give a man a lot of com
fidene*.“
"Tea. they certainly dev I go a lot
i f place# with them that I wouldn't go
without them." — Hardware Age.
A Wise Cracker
She— I dreamed last night that a
most handsome man saved mo from
a bandit.
He— It's possible. Tee been taking
boxing loM ooa.
Owner o f Ancient Car— I'm afraid I
shall have to ask you to walk up this
hUI.
Passenger— Righto, old chap; I’ll
wait for you at the top I
“ Why are you not working with the
rest?" asked the lady visitor to tho
asylum.
“ I ni craxy," was the candid reply.
“ But surely craxy people can work,"
argued the lady.
"Yea," retorted the lumate, "but I'm
not so craxy as that*
Immune to Torture
A writer of popular tongs is Mid to
be deaf. It seems s very unfair ad-
vantage.—London Opinion,