Romance in Diplomatic Circle o v er the profession. A.« soou a s n theater c ea ses to be more than a m en neighborhood playhouse it goes in for sta ge production. S ta g s M anagem ent a P r o b le m . ' T h e best o f theatrical talent Is oh tallied for th ese shows. S ta rs iro n tiie leg itim ate w illin g ly go to the m ovie houses because they m ake more money, even though they h a v e to work harder. S ta g e m anagem ent, stra n g e as It m ay sound, has been u big problem for motion-picture th e a t e r managers fo r some time, and the field has by no means been expanded to Its liihlt.” Ail o f w hich being true, the question is. w h a t does t h a t ha ve to do witli tiie passing o f a m a te u r night? He a n sw e rs the question r e a d i l y ; " B e c a u s e o f the fa c t that all the large motion-picture th e aters are m a k ­ ing sta ge presentations, they are n a t­ u r a lly t r y in g to recruit a s much of their talent a s possible right at home. E con om ic reasons, i f no other, would prompt such action. T h e result i« that In o u r theater, fo r instance. I hold sem i-w eek ly auditions at which local p e rfo rm ers are given nmple op­ p o rtun ity to show ju st w hat they can do on the stnge. T h e sam e is done else w h ere In the city .” A Jr if* With Keep Eliminative System Active Good Health Requires Good Elimination*. N E can 't fesl w all w h an thara ia a retention o f poisonous w ests in tha blood. T h is ia ca llsd • toxic condition, and ia a p t to m aka ona tired, dull and languid. O th er sym pto m s a rs ' som etim es to xic b ackaches an d headaches. T h a t the kid n eys are n ot fu n c ­ tio n in g p rop erly la o ften auow n by sca n ty or b u rn in g p a ssa g e of secretions. M an y pam ile h ave le a r n e d th e v a lu e o f D o a n '» P i l l s , a stim u lan t diuratic, w h en th e kidn eys seem f u n c t io n a l ly In active. E v e ry w h e re one finds enthusiastic D o a n ’ s users. A s k O Humor A HAPPY ENDING It w a s their first quarrel, nnd It lasted lon ger than post-honeymoon sp a ts g e n e ra lly do. B u t finally it w u i fo u r neighbor/ over, and tiie w if e w a s confiding to a frie n d : “ It w a s terrible w h ile it lusted,” she said, “ hut It w a s w o r th it. J u s t look I Stimulant Diurmtic to thm Kidnmyt a t th e f u r piece John g a v e me.” P o tte r M ilb u rn C o., M lg. C h e m i« tt, P a ffa lo , N Y. “ A h ! ” ex c laim ed tiie friend, s u r v e y ­ ing tiie gift, “ a cloud w ith u s ilv e r fox A poem is the v e ry im ag e o f lift* lining.'' ex p res sed in its ete rn a l truth.— Shelley. D O A N ’S SHE OUGHT TO KN OW Your Horse Steamship Captains h a s a C ou gh , C o ld or D istem per, write to d a y for a Have Queer Hobhies taRMMMÉnK T h e la test c-.pTomatlc r om an ce In cosm opolitan W a shin g ton will make Miss A n ita R a v e n a c r o ft H enry, d a u g h te r o f J. W illiam H enry and prominent in W a sh in g to n society, th e bride o f E d w a r d von Seizum o f D arm sta d t, G er­ many, s e c r e t a r y o f the Gerniuu em b a ssy in Washington. Amateur Nights Fast Dying Out Most Amusing Feature of Theater W ill Soon Be but Fragrant Memory. St. L o u is.— One o f th e most c h e r ­ ished in stitu tion s o f the s ta g e Is p a s s ­ ing, and it is on ly a m a tter o f tim e until it Is e n tirely in th e discard. Aina- teu r night, th a t most a m using fe a tu r e o f the theater, will soon be a f r a g r a n t memory, a m em ory redolent with the arom a o f sizzlin g “ h a m s" w ho Indul­ gently perm itted th e m selve s to be “ put on the p a n ” for the edification o f nti ttqffence th a t laughed w ith d ev ilish glee at tiie c ru d e a n tic s o f th ose w ho w ould be a c t o r s and w e r e w illin g to pay the p rice o f public harassm en t to attain the goal. A m a teu r night Is an institution as «•Id a s the t h e a t e r itself. A s its nam e suggests, it afford s an op portu n ity fo r those w ho ha ve a m bition s for the sta ge to display ttieir skill, a none too s y m ­ pathetic a u d ie n c e s ittin g as jud ge and j u r y and by its vo te o f approval or d isapproval d en otin g the d egree of success w ith w hich th e neophyte lias put o v er his act. F o r som e there w ere resounding b r a v o s and tu m ultuous ap- iause, and fo r o th ers a silence thut damned. T h e A n n o u n c e r ’s Speech. T h e sc en es at all a m a te u r nights sre v i r t u a l ly the s H in e . T h e r egu la r program Is c u rta iled and some one steps out o f tiie w in g s to the c en ter of the stage. H is speech is a lw a y s tiie sm ne: “ L ad les and G e n tle m e n : W e h a v e a little som ething ex tr a on the program tonight, som e th in g that w e think you will ap p reciate. W e w ill ask y o u to give a s clo se atten tion a s possible, as we shall t a k e a vo te a t tiie end o f the p erform ance fo see w h a t you like the best. F irst on tiie prog ra m tonight Is little M a r g a re t B risk . S te p nut, M a r ­ garet. i tha n k you." He retires and little M a r g a re t skips toward the foo tlights. M argaret, It «Ppeai-*, is a m other's d a rlin g Who Is supposed to h a v e a rare voice. So, In child soprano, she sin gs about “ lit­ tle birdies in th e trees.” and for an ea< ore— slip ta k e s it w h e t h e r she earns H or not— she v o ca lizes a gain on the Influence a full bloom moon lias on the ■ P«*nning projienslties o f tiie sterner of the sex. W ide V a r i e t y of Acts. F iv e or six oth e r a c t s fo llo w in sttr- ••pssion. Elm er, the demon hoo fer from the levee district, does a buck nnd wing. T h e M cGnofus s is te rs do a double— C ec ilia at the piano. Molly with her mandolin. T h e y both tr y to sing. too. Torn and J e r r y do a tu m ­ bling act and n a r r o w ly e s c a p e death a* they es s a y a gian t sw in g in midair. ■ Arthur T r em o n t Is a v e r s a tile chap. He sings t e n o r ; he p la y s the s a x o ­ phone; he j u g g le s six halls sim ul­ taneously, and he can c lo g dance. A r ­ thur is p r e tty much o f a v a u d ev ille show in him self. S y lv e ste r nnd his croo nin g trnnba- donrs conclud e the b ill— an am bitious rang o f s y n c o p a te rs w ho m a y be com­ mended fo r la u d a b le zeal, hut not for the harm on y th e y dispense. T h e a n n o u n ce r again steps out of the w in g s and raise s his hand fo r s i­ lence. H e requests all tiie perform ers to com e hack on the stage, and they obed ien tly line up in a sem i-circle be­ hind him. He is s p e a k in g : “ L a d ie s and g e n t le m e n : W ell, you ha ve seen tiie hoys and girls perform, and now w e will see wtio ge ts the big prize. I will p a ss behind the p e rfo rm ­ ers. and I will a sk you to show by y o u r a ppla use whom you t ti ink is best.” Only he doesn't suy “ w h o m ” — “ w h o ” is better. P icking the W inners. He p la ce s ills hand on little M a r g a ­ ret’s head. A burst o f handelupping. M a r g a re t sm iles and s tic k s her thumb in her mouth. Mother, in the front row, is g e stu rin g w ild ly fo r her not to sw a llo w it. E lm e r a p p a r e n tly didn't register much w ith his hoofing— or m aybe lie didn't b rin g m any o f his fr ie n d s to tiie theater. H e doesn't do so well. T iie MeG oofus siste rs likew ise get a lu k e w a r m reception, nnd they m a ke a sudden sh ift from dental d is­ play to sullen glares. T om and J e r ry a re rem em bered for that re m a r k a b le s w in g in m id air and get a big hand. A r th u r T rem on t, the hoy witti tiie c u rly blond h air nnd tiie Ascot tie, goes o v er big, c le a r ly o u t­ d ista n c in g S y lv e s te r and his crooning troubadours, who are ob viou sly piqued at the in ab ility o f the a ud ie n ce to ap­ p r e c ia te th e ir syncopation. U nable to Decide. T h e unnoun cer Is sp ea k in g a g a i n : “ L a d ie s and g e n tle m e n : W ell, I can't q u ite decide w ho w ins the big prize. S eem s like M a rga re t and Tom and J e r r y and A r t h u r Trem ont are the favorites. So I'll a s k you to vote an these th ree .” H e p la c e s his hand on M a rga re t's head. T iie a udience Is more d iscrim i­ n atin g th is tim e and she gets Just a ripple o f applause. T om nnd Jerry also fail to m ake th e ir first quota, und A r th u r T r e m o n t w in s in a w alk. “ A r th u r T r e m o n t get the big prize." s a y s tiie announcer. “ W ho w ins the second p r ize ? " He po ints to M a rgaret. A few frie n d s rem ain fa ithful, but she loses to T om mid J erry . T h e announcer tells the a u d ie n c e ns much and e v e r y ­ body is satisfied w ith the exception of M a r g a r e t’s mother, w h o q u ite volubly insists that her d uugh ter didn't get a square deul or som ething o f the aort. R easo n fo r Elimination. Such is a m a te u r night and. If Si. L o u is show m en are to be believed, such n ights a re p a ssin g from the th e a ­ te r n eve r to return. T h e reason fo r th e ir dem ise is simple, i f one m ay ta k e the word o f the m usical and s ta g e d irector o f one o f the theaters. “T h e r e Is no lon ger an e x c u se for a m a te u r a c to rs to m ake a public show o f th e m se lv e s in ordor to get a h e a r ­ ing.” he says. ‘ T h e reason Is found In the motion-picture theaters, which, within the las t tw o yeara, ha ve en ­ large*! I heir field to Include much more than the m ere cinem a presentations " T a k e St. I-oui*. for exam ple. O r ig i ­ n ally all the motion-picture houses In th e c ity w e r e Just that, th e a te rs In w hich motion pictures w ere shown with an orch estr a to furnish incidental mnslc. Hot a g r e a t ch an gn has com e T a co m a , W a sh .— W hen Is a ship cap­ tain not a ship enptain? W hen he is r a isin g silk w orm s, c ollecting rare' woods, w e a v i n g lace ta p e strie s or p a inting m a rin e pictures. S ea sk ip ­ pers are supposed to be busy most of tiie time ta k in g ob servation s or w r it­ ing up th e log, hut m asters of nu­ merous F r e n c h liners tou chin g port here ha ve v a r io u s hobbles. C ap ta in C oc h rill o f the M arseilles tins a hand loom in his cabin upon which lie w e a v e s out delicate, valued lace tapestries, c a r r y in g in tricate und b eautiful designs. . C ap ta in L e B a r o n o f tiie G eo rg ia is a talen ted a rtist, exhib iting num erous m arine p a in tin g s here recently. H is ocean colors ure tru e and his te ch ­ nique str iking. C ap ta in L a R o ch e o f the Rhen- b urque colle cts rure species o f wood to Incorporate into small pieces of furniture. C a p ta in Corbin o f the A la sk a raises silk w orm s on Ills fa rm In F ra n c e u n ­ der sub sid y from the governm ent. C a p ta in Simon o f the Mississippi lias a bent f o r raisin g c hick en s and c a r rie s an in c u b a to r on board to hatch ou t special collections o f eggs. A collection o f w orld-w ide butterflies adorns the q u a r te r s o f C ap ta in D u ­ chesn e of th e N o tr e D am e de Four- viere. S ev era l oth er s k ip p ers c a r r y with them monkeys, can aries, parrots, tu r­ tles, goats, dogs, and cats. Free Sample Bottle s p o h n ' s DISTEMPER COMPOUND (Oc and «1.20 et Drue S toree-W rita for free book let Spohn M ed ical C o .. D ept. Z, G osh en, Indiana Wlfle— John, in th e use o f E n g ­ lish w h a t does tiie A c tiv e Voice m eans? H u b b y — G r e a t heavens, don't you know? % Old and New Troublee G rim t r o u b le la s te t h b u t a d a y . C heer u p! C h e e r up. ye b lu e on e s. Y o u r s o r r o w * s o o n w ilt p a ss a w a y . A n d th e n y o u 'l l h a v e s o m e n e w on es. S av a n n a h , Ga.— C. L. B row n , m an­ a g e r o f a branch store here, lias lost $” l o in an unusual w a y. D u r in g a rush B row n took tiie am ount nam ed from iiis cash register and put it in a paper hag. T h e ha g got m ixed up w ith an o r d e r o f groceries and w a s p a c k e d a w a y in u basket o f the p u r ­ ch aser. N ow nobody in (lie sto re know s w ho c arried off the money. All th a t B row n know s is th a t It Is gone und thut lie had to m a ke tiie loss good to tiie com pany. Scout Saves Father W o r c e s te r, Mass.— Isadore, fourteen y e a r s old, practiced tiie first-aid le s­ sons of his boy scout troop w hen lie return e d from school to find his f a th e r u n con scious from gas. H ospital s u r ­ geons s a y the father w ould liuve died oth erw ise. A Wiee Choice “ I will g r a n t you one wish,” said the good fairy. “ C a n you m a k e me a m illionaire?” asked the youth. “ I can, but with th e usual accom ­ panim ents o f dyspepsia, w o r ry over y o u r Investm ents, Indigestion over y o u r income ta x and th a t tired fee l­ ing.” “ G im m e a tic k e t to the football gam e,” e x c la im ed the youth, “ nnd call it s q u a r e .” Practical Accomplishment paciflstic gentlem an stopped to tr y to settle a Juvenile row. “ My boy,” lie said to one c l th e com­ batan ts, “ do you know w h a t tiie Good B o o k sa y s about figh ting?” “ A w !” snorted the you th, “ fightin' ain 't one of them tilings y o u kin get ! ou t o f a book, m ister.” — A m e rican Le- j glon W eekly. Precious s f o c k C l e r k — W h y do you sa y your p a y en velope rem inds you o f a map? D e liv e ry M an— B e c a u s e It's all the world to me.— Good H a rdw are. NOT FOR A LUNCH Resinol Deafness— Head Noises BELIEVED B Y LEONARD EAR OIL INSERT IN NOSTBJL8 At Alt DrugctiU. Pri™ t l Tolihr about ••D EAFN ESS“ on nquwt A 0. UWVAKn. INC.. TO TOTH AVR. N. T. BK A SCA LE * S i’ KE'EAI.EST (live acalp trratmamta. I.eam the HKI.BO- HAI, SYSTEM fr<*> Sure rt-auit* 100 treat­ ment kit ID. HKI.ROKAI» Worcaatvr. Maaa Let It Evaporate “ D on’t e x p o se you r ign oran ce.” “ W h y not? W h a t b etter w a y th e re to get rid o f It?” ia Col«*s - 5 0 Your throat soothed, head cleared, cough re- lieved— by the exclusive • menthol blend in LUDEN’S MENTHOL C O tlO B DROPS In Keeping “ H o w wns th a t e n terta in e r w ho air- pen red b efore the v e te r a n s ? ” •> “ H e had som e v e te r a n Jokes.” CH ILDREN CRY FOR "MSTORIA” Especially Prepared for Infants and Children of A ll Ages M o th er ! F l e t c h e r ’s C a s t or I a has been in u se fo r o v e r 80 y e a r s to r e ­ lieve babies a n d c hild ren o f C o n s tip a ­ tion, F la tu le n c y , W in d C olic and D la r r h e a ; a ll a y in g F e v e r is h n e s s a risin g therefrom , and, b y re g u la tin g the Htomarh and B o w els, a id s the a ssim i­ lation o f F o o d ; g i v i n g n atu ra l sleep w ith o u t opiates. T h e ge nu in e b e a m sig n a tu re o f St. P au l. Minn.— Apple s te a lin g d a y s in M innesota would he ended under tiie term s o f a hill now l>eing c o n s id ­ ered b y the sta te legislature. T h e hill m a ke s It gra n d larcenv in tiie third degree. > m o o c h j û î k k h : t M ilw a u ke e, Wis. — T h o m a s K o e fe r l, an assistant in the c ity building Inspector’« departm ent. Is certain that pigeons think. F o r a y e a r he haa lieen fe e d ­ ing th e birds that hover about the building, perched at Mmea on the w indow ledge. He has noticed th a t the blrda sta rt com ­ in g to the w indow Just b efore th e clo ck In St. M a ry's church, a block a w a y from his office, a trik es the noon hour. T h e y seem to know, lie s a y s that n p o r tr a il