CENTRAL POINT HERALD. THURSDAY.WUGUST 1Ü. 190*;,
The Elevator Bou
Sounds a Warning
Feels It a Duty to Warn Those
W ho Look Down on His
Profession.
[Copyright. 1906. by P. C. Eastment.J
OR the p ast ten years the ru n
ning of an elevator In a sky
scraper has come to be recog
nized a s a profession instead of
a Job. An elevator boy does not appear
In court and talk to the jury, like a
law yer, but be Is expected to keep his
dignity and be able to advise a tele
graph boy or a d istrict messenger
w hat constitutes assau lt aud battery
o r inl-e pretenses. H e does not crowd
In when there is a street accident and
announce that he is a doctor, but he al
w ays keeps rags, cotton batting and
sw eet oil on hand to render first aid to
the wounded. Only Jealous minded
F
" cubby ,
you
made
a
ROOM."
m is t a k e
in
the
stenographers. If you tirut lo re bud
ding In your young heart come to me
and get a good spanking."
1 sta rte d In w ith heroic resolves, but
I w as a failure a fte r the first week. A
black eyed typist with much gold In
her front teeth smiled a t me as she
went up. She laughed a t m e as she
cam e down. She chucked me under the
chin on her third trip, and on her fourth
she whispered:
“Sammls, It Is a case of love a t first
sight. I c an 't live without you.”
Three days later 1 got the bounce.
The tru st m agnates were complaining
th a t my elevator wabbled aud th at I j
showed a desire to run them all down \
into the basem ent or up against the
roof. I w aited in the vestibule for the j
black eyed girl but when she appear
ed and I spoke P Jh er she replied:
"D on’t ask mo. Bobbie. I have only |
been hero a week!"
Six different tim es have I loved, and |
six different tim es have I received the
bounce. I have now ceased to love. No
m atter how good looking the girl who
takes my elevator aud no m atter bow-
sw eet her sm ile or how delicious her
giggle, 1 keep my stern dignity and
perm it of no fam iliarity. There are
occasions when I am chucked under
th e chin and I hear the whispered ex
clam ation of how sw eet I am, but the
elevator never w abbles by a hair’s
breadth.
B ut is it the sam e with other elevator
boys? I ask. Alas, no. W herever I go
I find them growing careless of their
duties because the sentim ent of love
has touched their hearts. A month ago
a young m an running an elevator in a
prom inent sky sem per confided to me
th a t lie w as in love w ith a stenogra
pher in the building. She w as tw enty
four and lie sixteen, but be did not care
for the difference in tlielr ages. In
deed, he thought it better to have an
a u n t and a m other anil a sw eetheart
all in one. She had patted him on the
back; she had pulled his ear: she had
praised his complexion. In her insidi
ous w ay she w as luring th a t boy on to
his doom. I struggled w ith him, but it
w as no use. llis Infatuation w as com
plete. T hree days later w hile thinking
of his darling he bumped ills elevator
ag ain st the roof and hu rt three passen
gers and got the bounce. W hen he
w ent to the wom an of his h eart for
sym pathy and to ask her to w a it until
he could strike another engagem ent
she pretended th a t she had never seen
or heard of lilm before and th a t he
m ust have liecome intoxicated on soda
w ater.
Today I could nam e tw enty elevator
boys who are In love. T h at means
tw enty accidents sooner or later. It
nlso m eans tw enty bounces. There
should be posted up In every elevator
in the city a notice reading:
“Any girl speaking to the elevator
boy on any m atter outside of business
will be compelled to w alk np and
dow n sta irs thereafter.”
If you nre nbout to tak e a public cle
vator look first a t the boy who runs It.
I f be is pale faced and anxious look
lng and seems to have som ething oil
his m ind turn your back on th a t cage
and take the stairs. T hat boy is in
love and is w orrying as to bow lie can
support a wife on $0 n week.
If, on the contrary, lie Is chewing
gum and w histling to him self step
right in nnd be hoisted.
T h at boy has nothing g re ater on his
m ind than a bet on the races.
I have loved and shall love again,
b u t I have found th a t I owe a duty to
the public. T h at duty to to love uo
more until I get through elevating an
elevator. The profession Is a noble one
and growing nobler every day, and the
tru e elevator boy Is being recognized
as the hardw orking hero he Is, and
even If It becomes necessary to appeal
to the law nnd a legislative Investlgat
lng com m ittee he should lie protected
against the m achinations of the other
■ex. At least th a t is the opinion of
SAMMIS.
The E levator Boy.
P e r M. Quad.
Wickedness In th e K ongo P ros State.
Jokes From F ran ce,
A pparently the king of the Belgian«
G erm any and A ustria j doesn’t look upon the Kongo a s u place
H E —No. I'm su re you do n 't love
me. D on't tell m e you do.
S
He—B ut I do.
She—No, you don't, you wretch. You
w on't show me w here you keep youi
money.—Suurlre.
F irst T ram p—It’s a gran d thing, aft
e r all, to have uo em ployer and to be
your own m aster.
Second T ram p—T h a t’s all very well,
b u t it’s darned annoying not to be able
to exercise tin» right to strike.—Crl de
Paris.
Policem an (to w ay farer em bracing a
lam p post)—Do you know w here you
live, anyw ay?
W ayfarer—Let me alone—only four
more lninp posts and then I am at
home.—Lustige B latter.
“Why did you give up your white
goods business?”
"B ecause I had to go into m ourning.”
—W itzblatt.
" I loved her so deeply and now this
confounded fam ily trouble has come
betw een us."
“W hat fam ily trouble?"
“My m arriage.”—L ustige Blatter.
"ITere's a cigar which I reserved spe
cially for you.”
“W eil, do you know I would rather
have one which you had specially re
served for youreelf.”—W itzblatt.
I ll « L e a d e r « .
The city Imarder w as a ttra c te d by a
a sign on the only store in the village.
I t read, “The Six Best Sellers W ithin.”
“H 'm !” m urm ured the city boarder.
“ H ere is a chance to buy some current
literature. Guess I'll go in.”
E ntering, he found the old storekeep
e r sitting on a herring keg puffing a
corncob.
“W here nre your books?” asked the
city boarder.
“W hat books, stran g er?” draw led the
storekeeper.
"W hy, the ‘six best sellers.’ ”
“H a, ha! Them a in 't books, m ister.”
"N ot books?”
“No, sir. My 'six best sellers' are
soap, sugar, suspenders, salt, socks
and shoes. W liat can I w rap you up
of each?”—Chicago News.
people will deny th a t he is a profes
sional. T here could be no more deadl;.
Insult to au elevator boy than to stop
him on the street and ask him if he is
out of a “job.”
If the profession of running an eie
A ll T h a t Is ile o e iu ar y .
v sto r ever comes to be looked upou
" I h e ar you are going to sta rt a m ag
w ith contem pt and if the elevators
azine.”
them selves are ever removed from all
“ Yes; I’ve got my plans practically
buildings and the ten an ts compelled to
all made, and we’ll probably have the
w alk the boys them selves will have
first num ber out in a month or two."
been to blam e for It. T aking my owu
“ W hy, you have never had any ex
experience and the investigations 1
perience aw an editor or publisher, have
have m ade during the last year, I feel
you ?"
It a duty to sound a note of warning.
“No, b u t it’s a sure thing. I have a
W hat the average elevator boy has
friend who can get me nearly all the
got to look out for and steel his heart
autom obile advertising there is going."
ag ain st is falling in love w ith the ste
—Chicago Itccord-Herald.
nographer and the typist. Every sky
scraper holds from five to tw enty of
R o u f l i o n A lcry .
them, and the first thing they do is to
m ake friends with the young gentle
m an who runs the elevator. They w ant
his Inform ation. They w ant his advice.
They w an t his candy and popcorn.
I w as w arned when 1 secured my
first engagem ent to bew are of the ste
nographers and typists. I w as told
th a t they had soft, sleek and Insidious
w ays. The boy whose place I took
sa t down w ith tears in ills eyes ami
■aid to me:
"Sam m ls. they will smile, they will
giggle, they will flirt, they will sigh,
fiiey will call you 'Bobby’ and pile on
the soft soap, but their w ays are the
w ays of the deceiver. When your for
tune is gone they will throw you awuj
like an old shoe.”
T w o weeks later, despite this warn
Algy Jones (at the week end farm )—
tag, I w as in love w ith the golden
Look here! You know, George, I can't
haired ty p ist in room 248. I w as call
milk these confounded cows. The
ing her “ Goldie” and she w as calling
beasts keep turning around and nib
m e “D ucky." 1 was an Innocent h e a rt
bling a t me.
ed boy, and how could I tell her th at
George—Lor', sir, but you m ustn't
her h a ir w as bleached and th a t she
blam e ’em. The c ritters do like a bit
w a s w orking me for lunches and thea
W h a t H e W a n ted .
o ’ green stuff.—Sketch.
te r tickets?
I w anted to die for Goldie.
W a n ted It O v e r .
I w anted to pour all my w ealth into
"Say,” exclaim ed th e m an in the
h e r lap.
chuir suddenly, “hurry and get throngh
I w anted to knock the head off old
■having me, will you?”
Saunders for winking a t her. She was
"E h?” said the barber. “ W hen you
In my thoughts by day and In my
got into the chair you said you had
dream s by night.
plenty of tim e."
I bought her candy. 1 paid for her
“T h a t w as before you begau shaving
lunches. 1 sent her bouquets. I went
m e w ith th a t razor.”—Town Topics.
hungry in order th a t efce m ight have
stre et car fare. We were as good as
R e a d y F o r R nn ln es H.
engaged for tw o weeks, and I w as
“ Mr. Jones, I w ant your daughter.
w ondering w hether we should take In
She is w orth her weight In gold.”
Florida or Niagara falls on our bridal
‘T m glad you’ve waked up a t last!
“W aal, figger her out an' gimme a
to u r when the blow fell. The agent of I’ve been sitting here two full hours.”
check. I kin use the money.”—Judge.
the building had been keeping ta b on
“Yes, but w hat do you w ant of me?”
me, and he had found me careless and
“ If you’ll excuse me, you’re sitting on
D a ’M r r í e n n a C ílrl.
tadlfTerent to the lives of my passen my hat!”
I g a t a m a s h w e e th M a g M cC u e,
A n ’ s h e ce» ’M c r ic a n a to o !
gers.
You w e e ll n o caT la m e bo slo w
A ty lo m S e re n a d e .
“Sam mls,” said he, “your elevator
E e f s o m ’ tim e y o u c a n lo o k a see
L
a
d
y
.
I
b
e
*
th
e
e
to
h
a
r
k
to
m
y
d
it
ty
.
w abbles. You bring up w ith a Jerk.
H
o w s h e r e s c o m ’ a n ’ f lir t w e e th m e.
S u n » ’n e a th th y s ill In t h a f u ll o f th e
Yon run p ast the sixth floor. Y'ou
M o st e v r a tw o f r e e d a y . m y f r a n d .
m oon.
come dowtv w ith a bang. You scare the W a k e , f o r t h e n ig h t in g a l e 's c h a n tin g eo S h e s to p b y d e e s p c a n u t t a s ta n d
A n ’ s m ile a n ’ m a k ' d a g o o g la ey «
w itt y
old maid on the seventh floor, and you
N e a r w h e r e th e b o a r d e r is e a tin g h is A n ' J u s t a lo o k a t m e a n ’ s ig h ,
cause the fa t m an on the eleventh to
A n ' a l i a tim o s h e so e x c ite ’
p ru n e .
S h e p e e r k s o m ’ f r u i t a n ’ t a k a b ite.
Dae cusa words. You are in love. It W a k o In a h u r r y ; d r e s s In a f lu r r y ;
Oh. m y . s h e e c s a lo o k s o s w e e t
H u s t le y o u r s e lf In to b o o t a n d g a lo c h e ;
alw aya acts this way. Choose betw een
l n o c a r e h o w m u c h f r u i t s h e e a t.
P lu c k a s y r in g a ; fly w ith th e s in g e r
your engagem ent and Goldie.”
D o w n w h e re th e p r e t t i e s t m e rm a lrle n s M e? I a m co o l a n ’ m a k ' p r e t a n d
“I acorn your engagement, sir!" was
I
w a n t n o m o r e d a n '$ h ' r f r a n d .
w ash.
B u t een m y h e a r t , y o u b a t m y life,
my heroic reply, and I went up to see
I th e e n k o f h e r f o r b e m y w ife .
Goldie and ask her If she w anted to L ad y. I lo v e th e e a m ic k le a n d m u c k le .
om e; e n te r ta in m e an h o u r o r so.
live out a t Bensonhurat when we were t C
T o d a y I th e e n k ; " N o w I w eel see
w ill lo se m o n e y to y o u a t p e n u c h le —
wed. She looked me straight in the
H o w m o o c h a s h e < es m a s h w e e th m e."
W h e re w ill you A nd a n y la v ls h e r b e a u ?
Lady, a r t d r e s s in g ? D o n ’t k e e p m e g u e s s A n ' s o I s p e a k o f d e e s a n ’ d a t —
ayes and replied:
H
o w m o o c h a p l a y n t a tn o n ' I g a t.
in g .
“Bobble, you have m ade a m istake in
S to p n o t f o r h o o k s, and. o h . s t a y n o t H o w m o o c h 1 m a t i n ' « v r a day
the room. The girl who to dying to
A n ’ W a t I s p a n d an* p u t a w a y .
f o r e y e s!
wed you la four doors farth er down D o n 't k eep m e w a itin g —I'd h a v e g o n e A n ’ d e n I a s k . s o f-u eec k . so s ly :
" Y o u th e e n k som ^ r e t t n g ir l w eell try
e k a tln g
fbe hall.”
B u t th a t m y to o tsiea a re a ll th e w ro n g F o r lo v in ’ m e a !■ la b eet?
Through a pull w ith an alderm an 1
A
n ' eef 1 ask h e r k a dees
e lse
obtained another engagement.
T ie
F o r g e e v ln ' m e a ! vet la k e e s.
Y ou s p o se s h e g e r e m e w an o r tw o?"
■gent of the building seemed favorably L ad y. I 'm o n ly a w a n d erin g loon y.
S he ta l ro e, " T w i* ty t'r e e fo r y o u !”
S in g in g h is lo v e on a ta lk in g m a c h in e ;
Impressed with me, but he thought fit
8UI1 If you d ee m th a t m y ch a n so n Is A n ’ d e n s h e la u g h o s w e e t a n ' s a y ;
to say:
" S k r e d «loo! S k e r c o o !’’ an* r u n a w a y .
tu n ey
“Young man, we w ant no nonsense
P a s s m e. in m e rc y , a co ld lim a b ea n .
S h e lik e eo m ooch or k e e e a m e
here. Running an elevator to business. C om e. If you w o n 't; s ta y , if you d o n ’t;
H u n g er h a s seised m e. and th ere lies S h e g o n a g e e v e m< 'w a n t y - f r e e !
T here are no less than four tru sts m ak
I «’p o se d a t W a t v e s a y — ’‘8k eed d o o f" —
th e rub.
ing their headquarters In this building,
H a . W a t y o u t h e n * N o w . m eb b e no
Spry a b ou t. N e lly ; h a n d m e so m e je lly ;
knowing bow much the people
Toae m e so m e p roven d er, v lt t ie e and Y ou w e e ll n o ea lln ne s o slo w !
—Y A. D a ly tn • thoHc S ta n d a rd aai
tore them. they i r » taking bo ebmacoo.
^ ■b
—ftlchrsonA ? !m » « -D l* p * ieb
B f w iir of the typtet». F h t tr o « t e
AH Kinds of Repair Work
for the exercise of any freedom ex
Promptly Done
cept his own sw eet will. W hen the
horrible features of the rule adm inis
Satisfsctio
tered by the sovereign-king recently
CENTRAL
became a world scandal Leopold ap
pointed a commission of inquiry to in
vestigate the charges made. This com
General Blacksmiths & W oodworkers
mission w hitew ashed some of the w orst
evils, but nevertheless recommended
HORSESHOEING A SPECIALTY
certain reform s. Instead of adopting
We
treat you and your horses right
the recom m endations of a commission
of bis own creation the king appointed
a second commission composed largely f-H -l-i"l"M -H -l-l-H -M 'il-l-M -H 1111 4 -H -i-H I 1 l-l l 1 1 1 1 1 i 1 i i I
of the very officials whose system had
been condemned. In other words, he
•fc -H - i-l- H - i- l- H - h "I l-l-H 4 I 1 I I I I I 11 1 l- l I I I I I l-H - l- l I I I-H I I I I | T
called upon the representatives of the
system under fire and the men respon
sible for its evils to prepare a new re
port on w hat should be done In the way
of reform.
The original Idea of the pow ers In
placing the Kongo country under the
protection of K ing Leopold w as th a t
the official duty of the governm ent so
established should be confined to a d
m inistration, leaving trade wholly to
"Their Goods are First-claas
private Initiative. B ut the governm ent
forced natives to w ork a t the point of
MEDFORD
-
-
OREGON ;;
bayonet, so to speak. Sentries arm ed
w ith repeating rifles w ere placed over
+ 'M-l' I' l' I I M -H - H -H - H - H - l l-l l I I H-I I I I I I I I M - H - l H I 111 11 I I
the people to compel them to labor for
private companies. These sentries were
them selves natives and com m itted the
m ost fiendish outrages, plundering and
killing w ithout mercy. The first com
mission recommended the abolition of
this sentry system , but the second re
ported th a t it should be continued, w ith
the change from repeating rifles to
muzzle loading guns—th a t is to say,
th e killing would continue, only the
DEA LER IN
executioners would be longer about I t
In response to diplom atic protests
Cigars, Tobaccos, Confectioneries and Soft Drinks
King Leopold boldly asserted hi3 per
ICE CREAM PARLORS IN CONNECTION
sonal ownership of the Kongo aud the
right to exploit it a t his pleasure. His
P ost Office Building
C entral Point, Oregon
arrogance is rebuked by a large party
of Belgian h um anitarians as being
against the enlightened consciences of
all civilized peoples.
; ; ■i- i- i- i'-i-i-i- H - i- i- i- i- i-i ■i |i"i ■! n n n i | .. h . m - m i i h - i - i - 1 1 1 i - i - h - i - h - i ; ;
Jeffere & Peart
D o Y o u Need
FURNITURE OR CARPETS ?
See W e e k s & Baker::
G. S. MOORE;
P u b lic In su ra n c e .
Gladstone’s proposition to have the
sta te m anage life Insurance is being
rov’ved in this country, especially with
a view to having the Individual states
of the Union tak e it up for their own
citizens. The chief argum ents used for
P a in tin g . D e c o ra tin g a n d P a p e r *
its advocates are th a t there will be
H a n g in g
In
A ll
ita
B r a n c h e » .
more publicity, more honesty and an
Increase of benefit to the premium pay
C E N T R A L P O IN T , O R . ¡ i
er through economical m anagem ent.
As to the m atter of honesty and econ
omy in sta te affairs, it may be said th a t
all depends. W ith sta te insurance there : i'l-l-I- l- I- l- l-l- H - H -H - H - I- I- I- t- l- l- l-l-H - 11 I I I M -M H I ■H - l-H I I H -H -S. .
will be hpndreds of millions of dollars
gathered into one m un’s bauds for in
vestm ent. Often the handling of this t ■1- 1- I- I- H - i- M - I-H -l- i- l- l-l- l- H - l- H -I- l- l11 M 'H -l- l-H 'l I I I I H H H H - M
prize would outw eigh all considerations
of party. Ingenious politicians would • ■ STRICTLY FIRST-CLASS
ONLY WHITE HELP EMPLOYED
« >
find some way to introduce system s
th a t would yield g raft, and until pub
licity and civic devotion have m ade
governm ent honest, cheap and efficient
talk of sta te insurance as a n im prove
m ent upon the p re sen t seems prem a
ture.
entrai P o in t, O regon
H ay & Learned
PROFESSIONAL
DR.
R a te s—$1.00 Up.
Special by the Week
S p e c ia l A t t e n t io n
P a id
to
T r a v e l in g M e n
PL E A SA N T S
C e n tra l P o in t, O re g o n
+ ■H "H "l"t"l"H "l"l"H "i- i"H - l- l- l- l-l-l-H 'T 'l I H 'I-H I I I I I I I'M I I H -t-H -t . .
•l- l- I- H - l-l-M - l- H - H - l- I-M - H - l-M -M -M 'l-l- H - l- H - M I I I I M - H -l I I I I I H +
W V I. W . P . H O L T , M . D .
P . W. HUDSON
J. E . FITZGERALD
P h y s ic ie n a n d S u rg e o n
EA G LE
PO IN T, OREGON
Rogue River Electrical
M R S. M A R Y A S H U R S T
— T eacher of —
Piano and Organ
Inquire of P le asan ts’ Hotel.
Construction Company
ELEC TR IC A L E N G IN EE R IN G
C onstructing, C ontracting and
G eneral Repairing. — Phone 831
C S tre e t, Opposite Postoffice
D R . A. B. S W E E T
PH Y SIC IA N AN D SURGEON.
D iseases o f W omen and Children
S pecialty
Day and N ight Calls A nsw ered
M EDFORD, OREGON.
M EDFORD, OREGON \ \
-M- l-l- l- l- l- l- H - i- H - H - H * I' l-1 ■ I'TTT-H I d ■l"l-l"l- l"l-l-l-I-l- H - M -H - l-l- H l-l-l! I
D o w n in g ¿t E m r y
Ifcoal T estate A g e n t s
C e n tr a l P o in t
We now have the exclusive sale of some fine alfalfa
G E O . BROW N
farms, grain and fruit lands, stock ranches, unimproved
& SONS
timber lands and gold-bearing quartz ledges, partly devel
oped. Business and residence property at reasonable prices.
We respectfully solicit the homeaeekers’ patronage. Our
motto is, “Small Commission and Square Dealing.”
General
Merchandise
B e it Q uality of
Good*. Lowest
Price«.
I I I I I I I I I I I I'l H"|"H-|-M- H -H -F : ; I I I I I I I I I I I H H -I H H ! ! > » > »
H. WARNER & SON
Lumber, Doors, Windows
BuLiIiiig Hardware, Old
Hickory Wagon«, Buggie* and Farm
Highest Prices Paid for Farm
Products.
P o sts
and
S hakes
foe
Implement«.
CENTRAL POINT, OREGON
S ale
EAGLE POINT. OR.
IIIIM IIM toW tH
I I H I I I I Mf r I