A GOOD POSITION
Thrr U k good pcMJIIon-orpritluntly-ln-mated
pay-when na art rrJ. Id m hrlp
ITINttUMM
IMIIfUia
rwm iiNttut
UNIT 1WU
-CfllM MIMOU
Nsm
Addrctl
miium
-touuitau tucnu
-mur rnnux
-LUIIM1N
-MUM MrHTU
I'ortUntt, Of.
Royal D-Lite
Comfortable
LADIES SHOES
No tO CA No
HorcY..rill Less
All Style All Size
Royal Shoe Co.
148 Fourth St.
Ntr Munlton
A i W U Mitt S:
It Does Nut Grow So.
Tlr la untr orpi way In iU
Kl Violin NVIUuiut Crrl V.x-
rntf, which U; Hrnil In your
IIJ Had On ami have It Inula
Inliian DM IhkmI ()n, Kail
matr given frt. All work
guarantied. Send to
TIIKCOUUEH CO..
S27'V Si, rM On.
MOTORCYCLES and BICYCLES
Bought, told and repaired. Sup.
plloH of nil kinds. Out of town
triulu n specialty. Write us.
R. H. BLOCKER
270 Taylor Street Portland, Oregon
FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD
Itoyuu wiint tfi your fiirm. home ur liutlneea
fur raahT Wriw to CAHTKK KKALTY CO..
IK) 4 lluchanan llulUIInc, Portland. Ofon
ft ELECTRIC MOTORS
llought, Sold, K.nl.d anil Repaired
WAI.KKlt KI.KCTIIIC WOK KB
llurnald. cur, 10th. 1'orllanJ, Oro.
REDUCED FREIGHT RATES
Tu anil f rum all point on IkumIiuM gouds, piano,
anil auVumoMlaa. Information cheerfully (Ivan.
Pacific Coast Forwarding Co., Sl'JiXi
HIDES, PELTS. CASCARA BARK,
WOOL AND MOHAIR.
He sift to w (Ha. Writi tor pitcit tat mtppln tut
Thi H. F. Norton Co. rcrtuai, on, srce. w
Good, No Matter What.
Tho Officer (nftor n complaint)
Till tea's nil right. What's Iho com
plaint? Tommy It nln't tea, air; It's stool
Tho Officer And vory nlco ntool
London Sketch.
Optical Astonishments.
"Seolug In believing," said tho ready
mado phllosophor.
"Not always, whon you are looking
at tho movies." Washington Star.
Falling In Line.
"I ntn going to a proparodnoss meet
ing, my dear, of our club."
"All right, William. You had better
lcavo mo all tho Iooho chango you have
nbout you." Ualtlmoro American.
HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL
The only Automobile Bcliool on the l'a.
cine Coaat maintaining- llaa Tractor
Dept.. Mi In Holt Caterpillar, C I. Ileal
Tracklayer and Whrtl Traclora, both In tho
school and operallng Held.
Ui Hawthorn Are. Portland, Or.
SHIP
Veal, Porlc, Beef,
Poultry, Butter, Egg
nnd Farm Produce
to III Old Reliable Eventing liouaa with n
record of 46 years of Square IVallnffa, and
be a6red of TOP MARKET PRICES.
F. M. CRONKH1TE
48-47 Front Street Portland, Oregon
Spray-a-Cow
Keeps o(T flies or money back. $1
n gullon from your dealer, or ordor
by mall. PLUMMER DRUG CO.
Third and Madison, Portland, Or.
Portland Y. M. C. A. Auto School
Day and night classes. Expert training
In repalrliur. driving and machine work,
Including- furs, lath, aliaper, drill press,
tractor. to. Time unlimited, COMI'E
TKNT CHAUKKKUIW AND MECIIAN
ICS SUPPLIED. WHITE U8.
P. N. U.
No. 30, 1010
WHEN writing to adrertlscM,
pleas nto
" linn
tlon this paper.
I
sfit3tM?
mm
QUESTION OF FINANCE
MORE WAY8 THAN ONE OF GET
TING A CHF.CK CABHED.
Proof That 'There Is Always, to tho
Ingenious, a Possibility pf Qettlng
Around tho Gout-Chilling Edict
"Insufficient Funds."
Ho wan In hlgll nplrlts an ho strolled
whlntlliiB down Contra! Park Went.
It wan spring; bin health wan good,
tho nun wan shining brightly, tho
birds In tho park woro twittering mer
rily, and In a pokor session tho night
before ho had won S27C, of which 70
wan In cash. In nn Inside pocket a
check for S200, tbo balnnco of hln win
nliigtt, nestled agiitnnt hln heart.
Ho reached tho bank on which tho
1200 chock had been drawn and
blithely awung through tho doorn, In
domed tho paper and presented It nt
tho paying tellur'n window.
Thero was a pauso while tho teller
got busy with hln books. In a moment
ho wan back at tho window:
"Insufflclont funds," ho nald.
Tho sun was obscured bohlnd black
clouds, tho birds In tho park were
squawking horribly, forgotten pains
began to remind our hero of their
existence.
If tho maker of tho check won tho
kind of man who would give an N. O.
check to pny a pokor loss, ho was
surely not tho kind of man who would
make good later, thought tho holder of
tho worthless paper. Then ho had an
Idoa. Ho asked tho teller how much
tho check's maker had on doposlt, but
tho toller refused to Inform him: say
ing It wan against the rules.
Over on a pnrk bench our hero pon
dored hln problem. At length ho roach
od n solution.
Thn check'n maker wan In tho the
atrical business. Our hero visited a
press agent of his acquaintance and
got a couple of complimentary llckots.
Then ho visited tho bank again. From
tho special guard he learned tho pay
ing tollor'n namo.
Then ho wrote n note to tho paying
tollor, enclosing tho theater tickets,
and to It ho signed tho namo of tho
maker of tho check. Ho sent tho nolo
and tickets by special mcssongor to
tho toller.
Then nftcr waiting half an hour ho
called up tho bank and naked to talk
to tho teller. When ho wns connected
ho gavo tho name of the niakor of
thn check, talked pleasantly for a mo
ment about tho thoater tlckotn ho had
Just sent, and then asked how largo
his balnnco was.
Tho teller, glad to do tho favor to
one who had Just sent him two theater
tickets, answered;
"One hundred and forty-throe dol
lars," ho said.
Our hero after a comment or two
hung up tho receiver and walked
straight around to the bank.
Hero ho questioned tho receiving
teller to mako sura thoro would bo
no slip In hln plan.
"Can I doposlt monoy to anothor
man's account?" he asked.
"Certainly," said tho receiving toll
er. "Wo'ro always glad to got monoy
from everybody."
Our hero thon made out a doposlt
slip for JG0, under the name of tho
makor of tho check, and shoved tho
slip atil SCO through tho rocelvlng
tollor'n window.
Thon ho walkod to tho paying tollor
with his $200 chock.
"I'd llko cash for thla," ho said.
The paying tollor looked at the
check and repeated his "insufficient
funds," but our hero said loftily:
"Pardon, but a doposlt which makes
tho chock good was Just rocolvod."
Tho paying toller looked It up and
found this to bo correct, so thoro wan
nothing left for him to do but pay out
tho money. At a cost of SCO our hero
had mado a bad chock for $200 good.
'Again wan tho sun Bhlnlng and again
woro tho blrdB twlttorlng.
Mongoose Rat-Catcher.
Accidentally I found tho chemist's
method of dealing with tho rat. His
shop was ono prosuraoa full enough
of poison to bciuI tho wholo strcot to
tho cemetory. But ho pinned his faith
to a small nnlmal, which was taking
a slosta on tho host chair. A mon
gooso, ho oxplalnod, as ho carefully
stroked Its tall. Now how many mon
geeao (It that 1b tho plural) aro re
quired to deal with how many rats?
And whoro do you got a mongooso,
and what do you food him on if ho
wants nny thing but rats? London
Chronicle-.
How to Cool Water.
Travelers in dosort lands carry wa
tor bags of heavy canvas or llnon
duck. Thoso bags, whon flllod, con
stantly "swoat" or exudo enough mols
turo to cool tho contents of tho bag
by evaporations.' Wot canteens do tho
sanio. A covorcd pall or othor vossel
may bo usod; wrap cloths around It,
keop thorn wot, and hang in a current
of air. Outing.
Panama Is rising throe foot in cacti
century.
JAPS KNOW NO PROFANITY
Their Language Contains No "Swear
words," Unfortunately 80 Com
mon In tho West.
Tho Jap Is always pollto, but onco In
whllo ho allps from graco and whon
ho does ho Is up against It, for thero
aro 110 swearwords In tho Japancao
language says a writer in Lcsllo's
Weekly. Whon a Japanese moots you
lie bows three times and takes off hln
hat, but docs not shako bnndn. Whon
ho greets you his first concorn Is
about your ancestors and next about
your stomach. It would bo almost an
open Insult for ono Japanese to moot
another without asking him how his
stomach fared. On tho third bow ho
asks: "This morning, how is It with
your honorablo Inajdo?" As you como
up on your third bow you answer to
tho offoct that tho placo mentioned In
doing as well as could bo expected
and In turn ask hlra what nows ho
lias from tho front. Thon ho lifts his
hut again nnd nays: "Your delightful
head this morning, I hope It bavo no
commotion." Whon you toll him that
you aro pleased to report that it feoU
well this morning ho asks about a
fow generations of honorablo ances
tors and then you aro frco to take up
tho weather.
Even though they nro elaborately
pollto, onco In a whllo ono Japaneso
will get mad at anothor. Their anger
kindles slowly at first, flnully fanning
to a blazo that knows no staying. But
oven though thoro Is a torrent of emo
tion seething In his soul there are no
words to give It vent; It kecpn surging
harder and harder until It throws
naldo all restraint nnd gives up all
Idea of decency by putting Into ono
phraao all his bitterness and snapping
squarely Into tho other man's aston
ished faco tho worst thing that can bo
said In tho wholo language: "Your
stomach is not on straight!" This Is
tho final insult; nothing moro can bo
added ho has cast tho glove. Thoro
Is nothing left for him to do but to
glvo hln enemy a cutting look, turn on
his hoe! nnd haughtily clap-clap away
on his wooden shoos.
If Civilians Learn t. Shoot,
Civilian rltlo clubs aro lately re
colvlng much attention. They bavo
dovolopod a number of men who aro
oxccllont shots with 22-callbcr rifles,
indoors, at a dlstanco of CO to 75
feot
Comparatively few, however, aro
nblo to handle tho modern hlgb-pow-orcd
30-callbor United States maga
ilno rltlo and hit a target 1,000 yards
away. Moreover, oven woro all our
men good .shots. It must bo remom
bored that' shooting is morciy ono of
tho Important parts of a soldier's
training, and that it Is a very small
part.
Tho soldier who can do nothing but
shoot has about tho samo rolatlvo
valuo as a polo player who can sit
on a fenco and wlold a mallet skill
fully, but who can't rldo a horso.
Capt. Hlchard Stockton, Jr., in Col
llor'B Weekly.
Sunday and Holiday Spring.
Is It not Izaak Walton who tells of
a river In Palestine that nover flowod
on Sunday? A strictly veracious
story to match this is told in a recent
number of the Proceedings of tho
Connecticut Society of Civil Engi
neers by Mr. Robort E. Horton. it
appears that In tho red sandstono of
tho Passaic valley thero is a spring,
locatod in a picnic ground, which for
merly flowed porpctually. Its habits
havo changed, nnd It now flows only
on Sundays and holidays. The mys
tery is onBlly oxplalncd: A number of
nrtoslan wolls woro borod Into the
snndutono In tho vicinity of tho spring
to supply water to adjacent silk dye
ing establishments. Except on Sun
days and holidays, when tho pumps
aro not running, tho artesian slope is
drawn below tho lovel of tho spring
outlot and tho spring ceases to flow.
Scientific American.
Book of Mormon,
Joseph Smith publlshod his work
known as "Tbo Book of Mormon" In
tho year 1830. Ho claimed that tho
work was a transcript, undor dlvlno
guldanco, of cortaln golden platos
burlod In central Now York, tho oxlst
onco of which had boon supornaturally
rovealod to him by an "nngol from
heavon."
When Moving Rugs.
In pocking rugs, whon moving, I al
ways sprinklo with powderod alum
and fold a fow moth balls In whon
rolling thorn. Thon, It not usod im
mediately, ub is sometimes tho case,
thoro is no danger ot their bolng de
stroyed by posts. Tho Mother's Mag
nine. Acquiring Mohammedan Title.
Any Mohammodnn wbo commits the
wholo ot tho Koran to memory is glv
ou tho titlo of Haflz. Cincinnati En
qutrer.
Worry's Evil Effects.
What rust lo to iron, worry Is to
thoso bodies cf ours it corrodos thorn
Bolectoa.
"Leader" and Repeater"
Shot Shells
For the high flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and
"Repeater shells have the reach, spread and penetra
tion. Their great sale is due to these qualities, which
insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads.
BB SUim TO ASK FOR THE W BRAND
LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE
FALL TERM OPENS TUESDAY, 8EPT. 5TH.
New Classes Will Be Started Then.
Many Students Already Enrolled.
Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now.
A. T. LINK, Principal.
Phone Main 5083 ... Tilford Building
Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore.
Comforter. '
Dr. Bates Bingham of Boston, on
his return home from doing ambulance
work in France, was asked by a re-,
porter his opinion ot a German note.
"There is no more real satisfaction," ,
tho distinguished physician replied,
"or comfort in It than there was in
tho blacksnakc's ruse. I
"A Pike county mother onco left
her little one seated outside the shack
and pulling on a full milk bottle when
a blacksnake came gliding up.
"Tho snake nestled close to the
child, drew the rubber nipple from its
mouth and proceeded to drink the
milk; but at tho same time the snake
did not forget to slip the end of Its
tall gently between the Infant's Hps
by way of a comforter."
Rub It In Thoroughly.
A sprain or strain should have Im
mediate attention to check the swell
ing. Rub on. and rub in thoroughly
Hnnford's Balsam ot Myrrh and you
should have quick relief. Always have
a bottle on hand for accidents. Adv.
Plain Enough.
"How do you llko America, count?"
"Quite much, but your figures of
speech aro somewhat hard to under
stand. Now, when It dawns upon you
It
"You begin to seo dayllgl.t!" ex
plained the other man. Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Wisdom.
During a lesson on elementary com
position a little girl read the following
as her effort:
"Once a Penny nnd a Shilling met
In a man's pocket. Tho Shilling turn
ed up Us nose at the Penny, and said,
scornfully:
" 'Why, I am worth a dozen of you.'
" 'Yes,' said tho Penny, 'but even at
that I am a good bit better than you
nro. 1 go every Sunday to church, and
you nover do."' London Tlt-Blts.
Use Hnnford's Balsam when all else
tails. Adv.
Same Line.
"When I was a boy," said the gray
haired physician, who hnppened to bo
in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to
bo n soldier; but my parents persuad
ed mo to study medicine."
"Oh, well," rejoined tho sympathetic
druggist, "such is life. Many a man
with wholosalo aspirations has to con
tent himself with a retail business."
London Tit-Bits.
To keen clean nn healthy take Dr.
Piorco's Pleasant Pellets. They regu
late liver, bowels and stomach.
Now's Their Chance.
"And so you aro convinced, my 1
friend," asked tho curate, "that thero 1
Is a placo of eternal punlshmont?" I
"I am," replied tho uncharitable I
parishioner. "Thero's nothing in this
world bad enough for somo peoplo." i
Browning's Magazine
For calks uso Hantord's Balsam.
Adv.
Poor Picking.
"What's tho matter?" asked tho
first flea. "You looked starved."
"Thoy aro making theso toy dogs
bo 'natural," explained tho othor flea,
"that I arranged to summor ou ono of
thorn by mistake" Louisville Courlor
Journal. Innuendo,
"Wombat says ho tries to put as
good a faco on things as possible"
"Ho's tbo man to paint your por
trait, old top." Kansas City Journal.
Granulated Eyelids
OrC5 Eye inflamed by cxpo-
IUICIO jlu,uiuiuiu nm
ff?Txr43ksS qucUy relieved by Msrlsft
ILl V C9 tjeRtaedy. NoSmaitir-c
mmr4 just Eye Comfort. At
Your Drupefit 50c per Bottle. Marias Ej
SalYeinTubei25cForBookoIlheEyeFreeaik
Druccisu or Marine Eye EemeiJy Co., Calcaae-
WILL YOU BUY NEW TIRES NOW
or nuJce your old ones hut through
the w3tf r. Write u about this.
OREGON VULCANIZING CO
MO Washington Su Portland. Ora.
Vindicated Self-Esteem.
"The Woggses seem to have a high
opinion of themselves."
"Yes. You see the same cook has
consented to remain in their employ
for three or four years. So they feel
entitled to think that they are rather
nice people." Washington Star.
Ask your dealer for the free book
let, "Useful Hints for Horse Owners,"
Issued by G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra
cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Harv
tord's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv.
No Alibi.
"Tho war Is doing me a good turn,
anyhow."
"In what way?"
"I don't bare to think up excuses
for not taking my family to Europe
this summer," Detroit Free Press.
IF YOU HAVE
RHEUMATISM
you should try Anti-Uric, the famous
remedy made from Roots and Berries.
It is guaranteed to cure this cruel dis
ease in every stage.
We want every rea-Jer of this paper
who is suffering from Rheumatism in
any form to try this discovery. Every
package guaranteed or money refund
ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or we will
send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu
lars and convincing testimony freo.
Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher
wood Building, San Francisco.
BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC
SCHOOL
Our graduate are occupying enviable posi
tions. The teachlnff proceaa ts different from
ordinary business schools. Thorough. Practi
cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY.
Address The Retiatrar, Y. M. C A., Portland.
Oregon, and get detailed Information.
Oregon Hernia Institute
Rupture treated mechanically. Privato
fitting rooms. Highest testimonials. Re
sults guaranteed. Call or write.
JOHNSON & UMBARGER
411-412 Aluky Dullding. Portland. Oregon
The Mathews Welding
& Cutting Co.,
S51 Everett St.. Near Ninth. Portland. Or
Portable Electric and Oxy-Acelylene Plant
Ready at all Times.
Oxy-Acetylen Welding and Cutting. Welding
by Thtrmit. Electricity, Oxy-Acttylen.
Waldlng of Sht Steel, Cast Iron, Aluminum
lira. Etc, Dollar and Marine Work
a Specialty.
ALSO AGENTS: The Henderson-WI1U Weldinsf
and CutUng Co., St. Louie. U, B. A. Federal
llras Works, Slat St. & Kedsle Ay.. Chicago,