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About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 29, 1917)
A GOOD POSITION a good pMltlon'wftunltr fn Ctih what you want In be ami null QUESTION OF FINANCE D know no profanity There Is crraitd pr-vl you imiw. Cli today, Catalog lit, itmoiuMm -riHti iiMirur imiT unit Wild MiNlltl MORE WAYS THAN ONE OF QET- TINQ A CHPCK CASHED. - TltlU(l -Msmincm menu -Ilfllt flHMiM IUIIMM tSUT MttMU Name., Proof That Thoro I Always, to the Inaenlous, a Possibility of (Jetting Around tho Soul-Chilling Edict "Insufficient Fundi." AtlJittt,, iiuaiNiaa couxai: Portland, Or. Royal D-Lite Comfortable LADIES SHOES No SO CA No MoreTA rill Less i Jill mm Orriion IMBBaaB Trsi.UW All Style All Sites Royal Shoe Co. MH loutlh St. Near Moriluin A Cooi tVia li Mii So: It Duo Not Grow So. Thrr only im way to gat irl Violin Without (Sn-sl Ki- tn, which It; Howl In your into n iim (mod (in. I.tl- lni given fr, All work guentneol. Hml to Tlir rntii ti-ii I... .W Wt. I V. U . . sn't KitUtiM a, ru7J. On. MOTORCYCLES and BICYCLES Houjjht, rold iim! rupalretl. Sup plies of nil klndn. Out of town trade n specialty. Wrlto us. R. H. BLOCKER 270 Taylor Street Portland, Oregon lWiyuu want U your farm, home or IiuiIiiom fur null? WiHm i CAIOXK HMI.TY CO., 004 Iluchsnan llultding, Portland, Oregon blithely swung through tho doom. In- lomid tho pnpor and presented It fit tho paying teller's window. Thoro whh n pnuno whllo tho teller got busy with his books. In n moment ho wan Imck fit tho window: "Innuinclont funds," ho said. Tho mm wnn obscured behind blnck clouds, tho bird In tho park wero squawking, horribly, forgotten pains bflenn to remind our hero of their uxlrilcnco. If the maker of thn check was tho kind of man who would glvo nn N. O chock to nnv a nokor loan, ho wan nuroly not- tho kind of man who would jr dm luiiiinoana hd u m,i mnKo goou later, tnouRiit mo noiaor 01 Jk A. 7 "T.i Li. VC tho worthless paper. Then ho had an JtaJcS he.'I . Idea. Ho asked tho tellor how much tho check's maker had on deposit, out tho teller refused to Inform hlra; say- Ing It wan against tho rules Over on a park bench our horo pon dered his problem. At length ho reach ed n solution Thn check's maker was In tho the atrical bunlnosB. Our hero visited n press agent of his ncqualntanco and got n couplo of complimentary tickets Then ho visited tho bank again. From rinuo i tin niininrnn nm n i " '' ''- rAnma Anu nuamtaa am u mm nmo Then ho wroto a note to tho paying toiler, enclosing tho theater tickets, and to It ho signed tho nnmo of tho maker of tho check. Ho sent tho noto and tickets by special incBuongor to tho tellor. Then nftor waiting half an hour ho called up the bank and asked to talk to tho teller. When ho was connected ho gnvo tho namo of tho maker of thn check, talked pleasantly for a mo mont about tho theater tickets ho had Just sent, and then asked bow large his balanco was, Tho toller, glad to do tho favor to ono who had JUBt sent him two theater tickets, nnsworod 'Ono hundred and forty-throo dol lars," ho said. Our hero nftor n comment or two hung tip tho receiver and walkod straight around to tho bank. Hero ho questioned tho rccolvtng teller to mako nuro thoro would bo no slip In his plan, "Can I dopnslt monoy to anothor man's account?" ho asked. 'Certainly," said tho receiving tell or. "wo ro nlways glad to got monoy from everybody.' Our hero then mode out a doposlt slip for SCO, under tho namo of tho maker of tho check, and Bhoved tho slip and SCO through tho rocolvlng teller's window, Then ho walked to tho paying teller with his S200 check. . "I'd llko cash for this," ho said, Tho paying toller lookod nt tho check and repeated his "Insufllclont funds," but our horo said loftily: "Pardon, but n doposlt which makes tho chock good was Juot rocotvod Tho paying toller looked It un and found this to bo correct, so thoro was Ho was In high spirits as ho strolled whistling down ContVnl Park West. It was spring; his lioulth wan good, tho sun wnn shining brightly, tho birds In tho mirk wero twittering mor- rllv. nnd In n nokor Hosslon tho night l.nforn tin I, nil wnn 1270. of which 170 Stomach farod w... in M.h in nn inHldo Docket n nk: "This morning, how Is It with check for S200. tho bnlanco of his win- your honornblo Insldo?" Ab you corao nlngn. nestled against his hosrt. P on your mini how you answer 10 Ho roaehed tho bank on which tno mo ouoci mai wio piaca mcnuonca i 120(1 flirV lmd boon drawn nna uomg as won as coum oo cxpocicu Their Language Contains No "Swear' words," Unfortunately 80 Com mon In tho West. Tho Jap In always pollto, but onco In whllo ha slips from graco and when ho does ho la up against It, for thoro nro no nwoarwords In tho Japanoso language, nays a writer In Leslie's Wookly, When n Japanese meets you ho bows throo tltnos nnd takes off his hat, but does not shako hands. When ho groots you his first concern Is about your ancestors and noxt about your stomach. It would bo almost an open Insult for ono Japanese to meet anothor without asking him how his On tho third bow ho rMCff5TM and In turn ask him what nows ho hna from tho front. Thon ho lifts his hat again nnd say a: "Your delightful head this morning, I hopo It havo no commotion." When you tell him that you uro pleased to report that It feels woll this morning ho nsks about a fow gonoratlons of honornblo ances tors and then you aro frco to take up tho wcathor. Kvon though thoy nro elaborately pollto, onco In a whllo ono Japancso will got mad at another. Their anger kindles olowly at first, Anally fanning to a blazo that knows no staying. liut oven though thoro In a torrent of emo tion seething In his soul thcro aro no words to give It vent; It keeps surging harder and harder until It throws nsldo all restraint and gives up all Idea of decency by putting Into ono phraso all his bitterness nnd snapping squarely Into tho other man's aston ished faco tho worst thing that can bo said In tho wholo language: "Your stomach Is not on straight!" This Is tho final Insult; nothing moro can bo added ho has cast tho glovo. Thcro Is nothing loft for him to do but to glvo bin enemy a cutting look, turn on his heel and haughtily clap-clap away on his wooden shoes. "leader" and "repeater" Shot Shells For the h!ph flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and "Repeater' shells have the reach, spread and penetra tion. Their great sale is due to ihese qualities, which insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads. BB SURE TO ASK FOR TUB W BRAND LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE in!, ib 11 111 u 1 1.11U u Luun 1 j uki 1 , u i lli New Classes Will Be Started Then. Many Students Already Enrolled. Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now. A. T. LINK, Principal. Phone Main 6083 ... Tilford Building Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore. Comforter. i Dr. Bates Bingham of Doston. on his return homo from doing ambulance work In France, wns asked by a re porter his opinion of a German note. mere is no moro real sausiactton. iJ pv.- fnmfnr, a tho distinguished physician replied. Vour Dnitrtr?,tV 50c ner Bottle. Mnrfae Et or comfort in it than there was in SalvemTubei25c ForDaokollheEvefrei-uk 4m4-h Granulated Eyeliis tjrC? Ecl inflamed by expo sure 10 son. unsiana sw uickly relieved by K Bites ) e Uemedy. No brrurtinc. tyes? ELECTRIC MOTORS Ilouihl, SolJ. K.nl.il and R.p.lr.J wai.kki; i:i.kctuii; woukh Ilurmide. car. lutli. I'ortl.nil. Or. REDUCED FREIGHT RATE8 To nj (rum .11 pwnU un IiuumIiuIJ r"U. iiIukml .ml .utumulillei. Infarin.tUin chrorfully ita Pacific Coast Forwarding Co,, Mo.' HIDES, PELTS. CASCARA BARK, WUUL AND MUHAIR. IVt vast il joo tut Kntt lor prices lad iDlppbtm THf H. F. Norton Co. fwnud. o, sum. w Good, No Matter What Tho Officer (after a complaint) This lea's all rlnliU What's tho com plaint? Tommy It ain't ten, sir; It's stool Tho Offlcor And very nlco .stool London Bkotch. If Civilians Learn t. Shoot. Civilian ruio ciuus aro latoly ro- colvlns much attention. Thoy havo dovolopcd n number of men who aro oxcollout shots with 22-callbor rifles, Indoors, at a dlstanco of CO to 76 fooL uomparaiivoiy low, nowevor, aro ablo to handlo tho modern hlgb-pow- orcd 30-caiioor United states maca rlno rlflo and hit a target 1,000 yards away. Moreovor, oven wero all our men good shots, it must bo remem bered that shooting 1b merely ono of tho Important parts of a soldlor's training, and that It Is a very small part Tho soldier who can do nothing but shoot has about tho samo rolntlvo vnluo as a polo player who can sit on a fonco and wield a mallet skill fully, but who can't rldo a horso. CapL ulchard Stockton, Jr., In Col- llor s Wookly. the blacksnakc's ruse, "A Pike county mother once left her little one seated outside the shack and pulling on a full milk bottle when a blacksnnke camo gliding up. ' Tho snake nestled close to the child, drew the rubber nipple from Us mouth and proceeded to drink tho milk: but at tho same time the snako did not forget to slip tho end of its tall gently between tho Infant's Hps by way of a comforter." Druccisu or Mnrlne Eye Beaedy Co., Cakag Rub It In Thoroughly. A sprain or strain should hare im mediate attention to check the swell ing. Rub on, and rub in thoroughly Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh and you should havo quick relief. Alwnys have a bottle on hand for accidents. Adv. Plain Enough. "How do you like America, count?" "Quito much, but your figures of speech are somewhat hard to under stand. Now, when it dawns upon you "You plained Optical Astonishments. "Boeing Is believing," said tho ready- miido philosopher. "Not always, when you aro looking at Uio movies." Washington Star. Falling In Line. "I nm going to a preparedness moot ing, my dear, of our club." "All right, William. You had bettor leave mo all the looso chango you have about you." Haltlmoro American. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL Tho only AutomoMI Hdioot on (ha P.. rifle Corut mulnl.lnlnir ( Tr.rlur l)pl.. ll.Irif Hull C.trrplllir. C. I. Ilr.t Tr.ckUrrr .nil VhITrctor, loth In tho choul .nil operating fl.ltl. 415 Hawthorn. Ate. Portland. Or. 8unday nnd Holiday Spring. Is It not Iznak Walton who tells of a rlvor In Palostlno that novor flowod on BuudayT A strictly voracious story to match this Is told In a recent number of tho Proceedings of tho Connecticut Socloty of Civil Engl- noors by Mr. Itobert E. Horton. It appears that In tho rod sandstono of tho Passaic valloy thoro is a snrlmc. located In n picnic ground, which for merly flowed porpotually. Its habits havo changed, and it now flows only on Sundays and holidays. Tho mys tery Is easily explained: A number of nrtostan wolls wero bored Into tho sandstono in tho vicinity of tho spring to supply wator to adjacent silk dyo- 1 n nntniillilimnntH I1 v m . A. h begin to seo daylight!" ex the other man. Louisville Courier-Journal. Wisdom. During a lesson on elementary com position a little girl read tho following as her effort: "Onco a Penny and a Shilling met in a man 8 pocket. The Shilling turn cd up Its nose at tho Penny, and said. scornfully: " 'Why, I nm worth a dozen of you.' ""lcs," Bald tho Penny, "but oven at that I am a good bit better than you aro. I go every Sunday to church, and you never do.'" London Tit-Bits. WILL YOU IIUY NEW TIKES NOW or make your old ones laat throuxb the winter. Write us about this. OKKCON VULCANIZING CO, 150 Washington St Portland. Ora. Vindicated Self-Esteem. "Tho Woggses seem to have a high opinion of themselves." "Yes. You see tho same cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. So they feel entitled to think that they aro rather nice people." Washington Star. Ask your dealer for the free book let, "Useful Hints for Horso Owners," issued by G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Han ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. No Alibi. "The war Is doing me a good turn, anyhow." "In what way?" "I don't have to think up excuses for not taking my family to Europo this summer." Detroit Free Press. Uso Hanford's Balsam when all elso falls. Adv. SHIP Veal, Pork, Beef, Poultry, Butter, Ess nnd Farm Produce (o th Ulil Unliable Kvenllnr homo with a reconl nt 45 years of Hquarn Dtallnirs, anil be aatuni of TOP MAIIKET DUCES. F. M. CRONKII1TE 4!W7 Front Street Portland, Oreion tho monoy. At n cost of SCO our hero nnd ninilo n bad chock for $200 good. Again was tho sun shining nnd again wore tho birds twittering. Same Line. "When I wbb a boy," said the gTay- halrcd physician, who happened to be In A ..1m l.lnnnlll ran.,! "T .1 I . . . , - - lit i iviiiimai;i:ub utuiu. a nuiiivu iu aro not running, tho artesian slono lalim nr.),iir- ,f mv r,nrn0 noro,,n,i. uiunu uuiuh mu iuiui vi mo spring cd mo to study medicine." outlet and tho spring ceases to flow. Scientific Auiorlcan Spray-a-Cow Kcops oil fllofl or money buck. $1 n K'lHon from your donlor, or order by mail. PLUMMER DRUG CO. Third and Madison, Portland, Or. Mongoose Rat-Catcher. Accidentally I found tho chomlBt's method of dealing with tho raL Ills shop wns ono prosumos full enough of poison to send tho wholo strcot to tho cemetery. But ho plnnod his faith to a small animal, which wns taking n siesta on tho best chair. A mon- gooso, ho oxplntnod, as ho carofully siroKoti its tnii. Now how many mon- gooso (If that la tho plural) nro ro- rjulrod to deal wllh how many rats? And wnoro do you got a ruongooso, and what do you food him on if ho wants anything but rata! London Chronicle "Oh. well," rejoined tho sympathetic druggist, "such Is life. Many n man with wholesale aspirations has to con tent himself with a retail business." London Tit-Bits. Book of Mormon. josopn smith pubiisnod his work known as "Tho Book of Mormon" In tho yonr 1830. Ho clalmod thnt tho . in . i 1 . ,u,t,"u work was a transcript, unaor dlvSS IF YOU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famous remedy made i rom Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure this cruel dis-' ease in every stage. We want every reader of this paper who is suffering- from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every package guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or wo will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing- testimony free Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Our graduates are occupylne enviable posi tions. The tcachlnir process Is different from ordinary business schools. Thorough. Practi cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY. Address The Reg Utrar, Y. M. C A., Portland, Oregon, and ect detailed information. burtod In central Now York, tho oxlst- onco of which bad boon supornnturally roveaiou to mm uy an "angol from noavon." Portland Y.M.G, A. Aulo School Day and night classes. Expert training In repairing-, driving and machine work, Including forge, lathe, ehaper, drill prvsa, tractors, etc. Tim. unlimited, COMl'E. TKNT CHAUFTKUIUS AND MECHAN ICS BUl'l'LlKU, WltlTK US. How to Cool Water. When Moving. Rugs. In packing rugs, whon moving. I al ways sprlnklo with powdorod alum nnd fold a fow moth balls In whon rolling them. Then, It not used lm raodtatoly, as Is snmotlmos tho caso, thoro la no danger of thulr bolng do- Now'a Their Chance. "And so you aro convinced, my frlond," naked tho curate, "that there is a place of eternal punishment?" "I nm, replied tho uncharitable parishioner. "Thero's nothing In this world bad enough for somo people." Browning's Magazine. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically. Private fitting rooms. Highest testimonials. Re sult guaranteed. Call or write. JOHNSON & UMBARCER 411-412 Aluky Building, Portland. Oregon For Ady. calks uso Hanford's Balsam. P. N. U. No. 30, 1010 WHEN writing to adrertUcr. please men. " ln kl naner. Travolors In dosort lands carry wa- atrovod hv noats. Tho Motimr-n m. trn linn nt l.nn.,.. I " ""! uuck. Tiioso bags, whon flllod, con stantly "swoat" or oxudo enough mols- turo to cool tho contents of tho bng by evaporations. Wot cantoens do tho samo. A covored pall or othor vossol may bo usod; wrap cloths around It, keop thorn wot, and hang In a curront of alr.T-Outlng. tho Poor Picking. "What's tho mnttor?" asked first flea. "You looked Btarved.' "Thoy nro making theso toy dogs so natural," explained tho other flea, Acautrlna Mohammedan Tltu Any Mohammodnn who commits ths "lhat .r nrronB?'! suramor on one of whnln nf thn irnmr. tn mnm. . UlOm by miSiaKO." IOUISVUJO WOUHOr- .. Z..Z. Z "'' Jonrnnl. ou the tltlo of Haflz. Cincinnati En Qulror, Panama is rising throo feet In each century. Worry's Evil Effects. What rust Is to Iron, worry Is to those bodies of ours it corrodos thorn Soloctod. Innuendo. "Wombat says ho tries to put as good a faco on things ns possible" "Ho's tho man to paint your por trait, old top." Kansas City Journal. The Mathews Welding & Cutting Co., 91 Everett St, Near Ninth. Portland. Ores. Portable Electric and Oiy-Acelylene Plant. Ready at all Times. Oay-Acetylene Welding and Cutting. WtUlag by Thermit, Electricity, Oxy-Acelylene. Welding of Sheet Steel, Cast Iron, Alumlauias Brass, Etc. Boiler and Marine Work a Specialty. ALSO AGENTS: T ne Henderson-Willis Weldlnsr and Cutting Co., St. Louis. U. S. A. Federal ISrasa Works. 31st St. & Kedxle Ave., Chicago.