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About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 22, 1917)
A GOOD POSITION Thrri U a food lJIIfi -opportunity-In. maud payrwlirn yi ait read. Ml hi hrlii fuunuw. Gink wlutyiw want tot ami mill today. CaUlos Iih, -ItldOIUhiu -lOlltltMH -ffUIllI MOUTH! -IIMIT TirttT -mum Huutm mtiumt MMMmCUl TMCHK unit nxtuM IUIIH1N mm nmm Name ,, AtklrcM,, iiusini'.is coijxoi: Portland, Or. Royal D-Lite Comfortable LADIES SHOES No m r-A No $2.50 MorcY . 31 1 Less All Style All Sim Royal Shoe Co. 148 Fourth St. Ntr Mottlum A Cti VWia h Niit 5: It Docs Nat Crow So, Hir la only way Id pit Violin Without irat Ki. imrin-, which U: Hcii.l In nur im iuu una am iin rnm Into an DM fiocj ()n, Kail mat Klun frM, All work Kuarantml, Hul to lilt- r-rtlttli'u tr Mil WUhl W V.W., MOTORCYCLES and BICYCLES Bought, fold uml rcpalrcc!. Sup piles of nil kinds, Out of town truilo it specialty. Wrlto us. R. I I. BLOCKER 270 Taylor Street Portland, Oregon FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD Doyou want to aall your farm. home or tiualiieaa furraahv Wrla. lu CAKTUt Hll.TY CO.. 604 lluchanaii llulldlnc, I'ortlaml, Or. ion ELECTRIC MOTORS llouilit, SoU, It.nt.d and Unpaired WAI.KKIt KI.KCTMC WOHKH llurnalila, cur. Ilrtli. I'urUand. Or. REDUCED FREIGHT RATE8 1u ami f rum all piilnla on houtahold aoula. t'lanoa. ami aulumuMlts. InlormaUon cliiwriuuy ilvrn Pacific Coast Forwarding Co.(o,'i" HIDE8, PELTS. CASCARA BARK, WOOL AND lYIUHAiH. Wi tint tl jou tut Write far pttctt tod iWpplii tiji The H. F. Norton Co. remind, oh, seitr.e, w Good, No Matter What. Tho Officer (after n complaint) This tea's till rlghL What's tho com plaint? Tommy It ain't too, sir; It's stool Tim Officer And very nlcu stool I.oiitlon Bkotch. Optical Astonishments. "Seeing l bollovlng," said tho ready made philosopher. "Not alwnys, whun you aro looking nt tho movies." Washington Stnr. Falling In Line. "I nm going to a preparedness moot Ing. my deiir, of our club." "All right, William, You had hotter lenvo mu nil tho loose channel you have nbout you." Hnltlmoro Amerlcnn. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL Tho only Automobile School on the rlflo Coast mulntitlnlnir n flea Tractor l)it. Ualnjr Holt Catrrplllar, C. I. lint Tracklayer and Whral Tractors, both in Uia tcwl anil operauntr lieu. Hi Hawthorn. At. Portland, Ore. Cf TT& Venl' Prk Dec' fl-fl I r Poultry, Butter, Ebu -A AAA and Form Produco to (ha Old Reliable Kverdlna- hoiiee with a record of 4S yrara of Square Dealinui. and bo assured of TOP MARKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKHITE 45-47 Front Slraat Portland, Oreion Spray-a-Cow Keeps ofT flies or money back. $1 n gnllon from your dcnlor, or order by mail. PLUMMER DRUG CO. Third and Madlion, Portland, Or. t : - Portland Y. M. G. A. Auto School Day and night elaaiea. Export training In re palrine. driving and machlns work. Including forgo, lathe, ahaper, drill preaa, tractora, oto. Time unlimited. COMl'H. TKNT CIIAUKKJSURS AND MECHAN ICS BUPPUKU. WIHTK US. P, N. U. No, 30, 1010 WHEN writing to admtbtrf, plea Bin. I " Uou thla pPr. r 1U ItffiSD. D 0,r" Bin iih mi 1 1 QUESTION OF FINANCE MORE WAYS THAN ONE OF GET TING A CHECK CASHED. Proof That There Is Always, to the Ingenious, n Possibility of Getting Around the Ooul-Chllllng Edict "Insufficient Funds." Hn was In IiIkIi spirits ns ho strollod wlilHtllni; down Central Park West. It was stirlnit: Ills health was Rood tho mm wits hIiIiiIiii; brightly, tho blrilH In tho nark woro twItterluK tnor rlly, nntl In n pokctr session tho night boforo ho had won 270, or which u was In cash. In nn Insldo pocket a chock for 200, tho balanco of his win iiIiil'h. nestled nealnst Ills heart. I In ronched tho bunk on which tho 1200 check had been drawn and blithely hwuiik through tho doors, In dorsed tho paper and presented It nt thn paying tollor'H window. Thoro wns n pausu whllo tho toiler got busy with his books. In n moment bo was hack nt tho window: "Inmiitlclont funds," ho snld. Tho sun wan obscured behind black clouds, tho birds In tho park wcro siniawklng horribly, forgotten pains liogrin to remind our hero of tltolr existence. If the mnkcr of tho check wns tho kind of mon who would glvo an N. O check to poy n poker loss, bo was surnly not tho kind of man who would nmko good Inter, thought tho holder of tho worthless paper. Then ho had an Idea. Mo asked tho teller how much tho check's mnkcr had on deposit, but tho toller refused to Inform him; say Ing It wns ngnlnst tho rules. Over on a nark bonch our hero pon dored his problom. At length ho reach od it solution. Thn check's maker was In tho thc- ntrlcnl business. Our hero visited n press ngent of his ncqunlntnnco and got a couple of complimentary tickets Thon ho visited tho bank ngnln. From the special guard ho learned tho pay Ing teller's namo. Thon ho wroto n noto to tho paying teller, enclosing tho theater tickets. and to It ho signed tho nnmo of tho maker of tho chock. Ho sent tho noto and tickets by special messongor to tho toller. Then nflor waiting half an hour ho called up tho bank and askod to talk to tho teller. When ho was connected ho gavo tho namo of tho maker of tho check, talked pleasantly for a mo mcnt nbout tho theater tickets ho had Just sent, and then askod how largo his bnlnnco was. Tho tellor, glad to do tho favor to ono who had Just sent him two theater tickets, nnsworcd. "Ono hundred and forty-tbroo dol lars," ho said. Our hero after n comment or two hung up thn receiver and walkod straight around to tho bank. Hero ho questioned tho receiving tellor to in n 1(0 suro thoro would be no slip In his plan. "Can I deposit monoy to anothor man's account?" ho asked. "Cortnlnly," snld tho receiving tell or. "Wo ro always glad to got raonoy from everybody." Our hero thon mado out a deposit slip for $60, under tho namo of tho maker of tho chock, and shovod tho slip nnd $G0 through tho receiving tollor's window. Thon ho walkod to tho paying tollor with his $200 chock. "I'd llko cash for this," ho said. Tho paying tollor looked at the check and ropcatud his "Insufllclont funds," but our hero said loftily: "Pardon, but a doposit which makos tho chock good was Just rocolvod." Tho paying tellor lookod It up and found this to ho correct, ao thoro was nothing loft for him to do but pay out tho monoy. A n cost of SCO our hero had mado a bad chock for $200 good. Again was tho sun shining nnd again wnro tho birds twittering. Mongoose Rat-Catcher. Accidentally 1 found tho chomlst'a method of dealing with tho rat. His shop was ono prostimcs full onough of poison to sond tho wholo strcot to tho cemetery. Ilut ho plnnod his faith to a small nnlmnl, which was taking a Blosta on tho boat chnlr. A mon- rooso, no oxpininoa, as no cnrofully strokod Its tail. Now how many mon cocao (If t Ii nt Is tho plural) nro re quired to deal with how many rata! And. whoro do you get n mongooso, and whfit do you food him on If ho wants anything but rntB? London Chronlclo. How to Cool Water. TravolorB In desert lands carry wa ter bags of honvy canvas or Unon duck. Theso bags, whon flllod, con stantly "Bwout" or oxudo enough raols turo to cool tho contonts of tho bag by evaporations. Wot cantoona do tho boido. A covered pall or other vossol may bo usod; wrap cloths around It, keep thorn wot, and hang In a current of nlr. Outing, ' Panama Is rising throo foot In each JAPS KNOW NO PROFANITY Their Language Contains No "Swear words," Unfortunately 8o Com' mon In the West, Tho Jap Is always poll to, but onco I a whllo ho slips from grac6 and when ho docs ho is up against It, for thoro aro no swearwords In tho Japanosa language says a writer In Leslie' Weekly, Whon a Japanese moots you ho bows throo times nnd takes off his hat, but does not shako hands. Whon ho greets you ills first concern I about your ancestors and noxt about your stomach. It would bo almost an open Insult for ono Japanese to meet nuothor without asking hi in how his stomach farod. On tho third bow ho asks: "This morning, how Is It with your honorablo Innldo?, As you co.uo up on your third iiow you answer to tho effect that tho placo mentioned Is doing as well as could bo oxpected nnd In turn ask him what news h has from tho front. Thon ho lifts his bat again and says: "Your delightful head this morning. I hopo It hnvo no commotion." When you tell him that you aro pleased to report that It fools well this morning ho asks about a fow generations of honorablo ances tors and than you aro frco to take up tho weather. liven though tboy aro elaborately polite, onco In a whllo ono Japancso will got mad at anothor. Their angor kindles slowly nt first, finally fanning to a blaco that knows no staying. Hut oven though thoro Is a torrent of emo tion seething in his soul tlicro aro no wordH to glvo It vont; It keeps surging hnrdor nnd harder until It throws naldo all restraint and gives up all Idea of decency by, putting Into ono phrnso all his bitterness and snapping squarely Into tho othor man'B anion lulled faco tho worst thing that can bo said In tho wholo language: "Your stomach Is not on straight! This Is tho final Insult: nothing moro can bo nddud ho has cast tho glove Thoro Is nothing loft for hltn to do but to glvo his enemy a cutting look, turn on his hool nnd haughtily clap-clap away on his wooden shoes. If Civilians Learn t. Shoot. Civilian rlllo clubs aro lately re ceiving much attention. They havo dovolopcd n number of men who aro excellent shots with 22-callbcr rifles, Indoors, at a dlstanco of 50 to 7C focL Comparatively fow, however, aro ablo to bandlo tho modern hlgh-pow orod SO-callbor United States maga zlno rltlo and hit a targot 1.000 yards away. Moreovor, oven wcro nil our men good shots, it must bo rcmom bored that shooting is merely ono of tho Important parts of a soldlor's training, and that it 1b a very small part Tho soldier who can do nothing but shoot has about tho samo rolntlvo valuo as a polo player who can sit on a fonco and wlold a mallet skill fully, but who can't rldo a horso. Cnpt. Klchard Stockton, Jr., In Col Mor s Wookly. Sunday and Holiday Sprlna. Is it not Izaak Walton who tr-lln nf a rivor in Pnlostlno that novor flowed on Sunday? A strictly veracious story to match thla is told in a recent numoor oi mo rrocoeuings of the Connecticut Soclotv of Civil noora by Mr. Robert E. Horton. it appoars that In tho red sandstono of tuo raasaic vnuoy moro la a spring, located In a nlcnlc cround. whirh fnr. morly flowed porpotunlly. Its hnhii havo changed, and It now flnn-n nniv on Sundays and holidays. Tho mys tery Is easily explained:" A number of nrtoslan wolls woro bored Into tho sandstono In tho vicinity of tho spring to aunniy wntor to auiacont niik rivn. Ing establishments. Except on Sun- aavs ana Holidays, when thn nnmnn nro not running, tho artoslan ainnn in drawn oolow tho lovel of tho anrlnr? outlet and tho spring ceases to flow. Sclenuiic Amorlcan. Book of Mormon. Joseph Smith published his work known as "Tho Book of Mormon" In tho year 1830, Ho clalmod that tho work was a transcript, undor divine guidance of certain goldon plntea buried in central Now York, tho exist- onco of which had boon aupornaturally roveaiou to ntm by an "angol from hoavon." When Moving Rugs. In packing rugs, whon ruovlnc i ni. ways anrlnklo with nowdomri ninm nnd fold a fow moth balls In whon rolling them. Thon, If not used Im mediately, as Is somotlmos tho case, thera Is no dancer of tholr hni stroyod by posts. Tho Mothor'o Mag. itino. Acquiring Mohammedan Title. Any Mohammedan who commltB the wholo of tho Koran to motuory is giv en tho tltlo of Haflz. Cincinnati En qulror. Worry's Evil Effects. Wlinft rnat In in lrr tirAev l- those bodies of oura -It corrndnn thnm rll!ll(lll!lllllllllllllll!l!IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIl!l!llllllllin!lllll!llllllll!llil 'Leader" and "Repeater" Shot Shells For the hih flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and ''Repeater' shells have the reach, spread and penetra tion. Their fjreat sale is due to these qualities, which insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads. BJt SUJW TO ASK FOR TEE W BRAND LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE FALL TERM OPENS TUESDAY, 8EPT. 5TH. New Classes Will Be Started Then. Many Students Already Enrolled. Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now. A. T. LINK, Principal. Phono Main 6083 ... Tilford Building Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore. Comforter. Dr. Bates Bingham of Boston, on his return homo from doing ambulance work In France, was asked by a re porter his opinion of a German note. "There Is no more real satisfaction," tho distinguished physician replied, "or comfort in it than there was in tho blacksnake's ruse. "A Pike county mother once left her little one seated outside the shack and pulling on n full milk bottle when a blncksnako came gliding up. "The snake nestled close to the child, drew the rubber nipple from its mouth and proceeded to drink the milk; but at the same time the snake did not forget to slip the end of Us tall gently between the Infants lips by way of a comforter." Rub It In Thoroughly. A sprain or strain should have Im mediate attention to check the swell ing. Rub on. and rub in thoroughly Hanfords Balsam of Myrrh and you should have quick relief. Always have a bottlo on hand for accidents. Adv. Plain Enough. "How do you like America, count?" "Quito much, but your figures of speech are somewhat hard to under stand. Now, when It dawns upon you tw "You begin to seo daylight!" ex plained tho other man. Louisville Courier-Journal. Wisdom. During a lesson on elementary com position a little girl read tho following as her effort: 'Once a Penny and n Shilling met In a man's pocket. The Shilling turn ed up its noso at the Penny, and said, scornfully: " 'Why, I am worth a dozen or you. "'Yes,' Bald tho Penny, 'but even nt that I am a good bit better than you nro. I go every Sunday to church, nnd you never do.'" Loudon Tlt-Blts. Uso Hanford's Balsam when nil elso falls. Adv. Same Line. 'When I wns a boy," said tho gray- hnlred physician, who happened to bo In n reminiscent mood, "I wnnted to bo a soldier: but my parents persuad ed mo to study medicine." 'Oh, well,' rejoined tho sympathetic dnigglst, "such Is life. Many a man with wholesalo aspirations has to con tent himself with a retail business." London Tlt-Blts. TV. bnnri itlnn nn hnnlthv tnVi T"ir Piorpn'a PlnnHnnt Pollnts. Thev rnfU- late liver, bowel and stomach. Now's Their Chance. "And so you aro convinced, my friend," nsked tho curate, "that thoro is a plnco of eternal punishment?" "I am, replied tho uncharitable j parishioner, "There a nothing In this world bad enough for somo people." Browning's Magazine ' For calks uso Hanford's Balsam. dv. Poor Picking. "What's the matter?" asked tho first flon. "You looked starved." "Thoy aro making theso toy dogs so natural," explained the othor flea. that I arranged to summor on ono or thorn by mistake" Loulsvlllo Courier. Journal. Innuendo. "Wombat says ho tries to put as good a faco on things as possible" "He's tho man to paint your por- trait, old top." Kansas City Journal. Sore s! Granulated Eycliis, named by expo sure to Sen. Dost and Vtiai 2?nrif quickly relieved by HsrisB CVtSSl tyeBtmidy. No Snorting. ""W just Eye Comfort. At Your Drugght'e 50c per Bottle. Harlac Ej SaIveinTube2Sc. ForDookollbeEyeFrecjuk Druggitu or Murlae Eye Bentdy Co., CUcate WILL YOU BUY NEW TIRES NOW or make your old onra last throocb the winter. Write us about this. OIIEGON VULCANIZING CO, CM Wuhlnstrn St rortland. Oro. Vindicated Sclf-Etteem. "The Woggscs seem to have a high opinion of themselves." "Yes. You sec the same cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. So they feel entitled to think that they are rather nice people." Washington Star. Ask your dealer for the free book let, "Useful Hints for Horse Owners," Issued by G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Han ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. No Alibi. "The war Is doing me a good turn, anyhow." "In what way?" "I don't have to think up excuses for not taking my family to Europe this summer." Detroit Free Press. IF YOU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famous remedy made from Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure this cruel dis ease in every stage. We want every rea-ler of this paper who is suffering from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every package guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or we will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing testimony frea. Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Our mduatea are occupying enviable poai Uons. The teachintr process is different from, ordinary business schools. Thorough, Practi cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY. Address The Reti.trarfY. M. C A., PortUwL. Oregon, and get detailed Information. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically. Private fitting rooms. Highest teaUmonlala. Re sults guaranteed. Call or write. JOHNSON & UMBARCER 111-412 Alitky Buildinf, Portland. Oreroo The Mathews Welding; & Cutting Co., ESI Everett St, Near Ninth. Portland. Ore. Portable Eleclric and Oiy-Acstylene Plant. Ready at all Times. Osy-Acetylene Welding and Cutting. W.Uioa by Thermit, Electricity, Oxy.AcetyI.ne. W.ldinf of Sheet Steel, Cait Iron, AIu minima Brat, Etc. Boiler and Marine Work a Specialty. ALSO AGENTS: The Henderson-Winhl Weldlnc and CutUmr Co., St. Louis, U. B. A. Federal Brass Works. SUt St. & Kedxle Ave., Chicago. century. Soloctod.