Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 8, 1917)
A GOOD POSITION Thcr I fond pJI(on"t'Pi1tmltr -In. wwnuw, t.cck what you want tut and mall today. Catalegfiae. -ItlHMUrKM -IMltltNA -fWIltl ItCMTUT tinv iifiii -ertici awaits -MaUMl tUCKU tIMIT MNMUI - IMIIatiN 'touir wfon Nam, AddcM., IIUSINIJ3 COUXOK Portland, Or. Royal D-Lite Comfortable LADIES SHOES No JO C A No oreTril Less All Stylet All Sizes Royal Shoe Co. 148 Fourth St. Near MorrlKHi A Co. Ua li Mi U: It Ooi Not Crow So. Ttir la only on w)f to get a guti violin without trl t. nw, which l, Hnit In your Old Had On and havalt made Into an Old (Jood On. Esti mate irlv.n fr. All work guarantml, IWnil to fill.- r- ti li HlltWUVklMt V. W CJll WtiUciM Si, rettlui. Ora, MOTORCYCLES BICYCLES Nought cold nml repaired. Sup I lit' of till klnda. Out of town trade n specialty. Write us. R. H. BLOCKER 27G Taylor Street Portland, Oregon FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD IMyou want tn a.tl your farm, homo or bo.lneae for caliT Wriaa to CARTER KKAI.TY CO., 604 Uuchanan Ilulldlns, Cortland, Qragon ft ELECTRIC MOTORS II out ht, Sold, H.nl.d and Repaired W'Al.KKII r'.I.KCTHIO WORKS llumaiJa, cor, loth. Portland. On. REDUCED FREIGHT RATES Tu ami from all xlnU on liouaehold good., planoe, and aulorooUIra. Information cheerfully given. Pacific Coasl Forwarding Co., M.' mi HIDES, PELTS. CASGARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. Ki tut U ou Hue. Write lor prices tad thlpplei tut THE H. F. NORTON Co. Portland. Ore, SeittU. Wi Good, No Matter What Tho Offlcor (after a 'complaint) This ten's nil right. What's tho com Iilalnt? Tommy It ain't tea, air; It's stool Tho Offlcor And very nlco stool London Sketch. Optical AttonlihmenU. "BcolriK Ib believing," said tho ready mado philosopher. "Not always, when you aro looking at tho movies." Washington Star. Falling In Line. "I am going to a proparednesH meet ing, my dear, of our club." "All right. William. You had hotter leave mo all tho Ioobo chango you liavo about you." Ualtlmoro American. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL Tho tintr Automobile School on the Pa cific Coaat maintaining a fiea Tractor IW-..I.. IT.Inr Hall Clmlllar. C I. Heat Tracklayer and Wheal Tractora, both In tho achoot and operaUng Held. 4(3 Hawthorn. Arc. Portland. Or. HI TTTTa Vcnl, Pork, Beef, SHBLr Poultry, Butler, Eggs to th Old Mailable Kvenllng houaa with a record of 46 yeara of Rquare Deellnge, and ) aaauml of TOP MARKET I'rUCES. F. M. CRONKHITE 48-47 Front 3lrat Portland, Oregon Spray-a-Co Keeps olT flics or money back, $1 a Ballon from your tlonlor, or ordor by mall. PLUMMER. DRUG CO. Third and Madison, Portland, Or. Portland Y.M. C. A. Auto School Day and night elaaica, Kipert training In repairing, drlvlnir and machine work, IncWdlng forge, lathe, ahaper, dM press. tkntCiia'upkeiiiw and mkciian ics 8upplikd, wkith us. P. N. U, No, 30, 1010 WHEN writing to adftrUsen, pica MB I ' tlan this paper. I 7g .1 QUESTION OF FINANCE MORE WAYS THAN ONE OF GET TINQ A CHF.CK CASHED. Proof That There Is Always, to the Ingenious, a Possibility of Getting Around the 8oul-Chllllng Edict "Insufficient Funds." Ho was In high spirits an ho strolled whlstllnir down Central Park West. It wns spring; his health was Bood, tho sun was shining brightly, tno birds In tho park wore twlttorlng mer rily, and In a poker session Iho night before hn had won S270, of whlcii wnn In cash. In nn Insldo pocket a rheck for $200, the balnnco of his win nines, nestled against his heart. Hn renched the bonk on which tho $200 chock had boon drawn and blithely swung through tho doors, in domed thu paper and presented It at tho paying teller's window. There was a putiso whllo tho toller got busy with bin books. In a momont ho was back nt tho window: "Insuillclont funds," ho said. Tho sun wns obscured behind black clouds, tho birds In tho park wcro squawking horribly, forgotton pains began to remind our hero of tholr existence If the maker of thn check was tho kind of man who would glvo an N. O chock to pay a poker loss, ho was suroly not tho kind of man who wouiu moko good later, thought tho holder of Iho worthless papor. Then ho had an Idea. Ha nsked tho teller how much tho check's maker had on doposlt, but tho toller refused to Infqnn him: say Ing It was against tho rules. Over on a nark bonch our hero pon' dercd his problem. At length ho roach oil a solution. Thn check's maker was In tho tho- atrlcnl business. Our hero visited a press ngent of his acquaintance and got a couplo of complimentary tlckots, Then ho visited tho bank again. From the special guard ho learned tho pay Ing teller's name. Then ho wroto a note to tho paying toller, enclosing tho theater tlckots, and to It ho signed tho namo of tho maker of tho chock. Ho sent tho noto and tickets by special mcssongor to tho tollor. Then after waiting half an hour ho called up tho bank and naked to talk to tho toller. When ho wob connected ho gnva the namo of tho maker of tho check, talked pleasantly for a mo mont about tho theater tickets ho had Just sent, and then nskod how largo his balancn was. Tho tellor, glad to do tho favor to ono who hnd Just sent him two theater tlckots, answered. "Ono hundred and forty-throo dol lars," ho said. Our hero aftor a comment or two hung up tho receiver and walkod straight around to tho bank. Horo ho questioned tho receiving tellor to mako suro there- would be no slip In his plan. "Can I doposlt money to another man's account?" ho asked. "Certainly," said tho receiving toll er. "Wo'ro always glad to got monoy from ovorybody." Our hero then mado out a doposlt slip for $60, under tho namo of tho maker of tho check, and shoved tho slip and $00 through tho receiving toller's window. Then ho walked to tho paying' tollor with his $200 check. "I'd like cash for this," ho said. Tho paying tollor lonkod nt tho chock and repeated his "InsufUclont funds," hut our horo snld loftily: "Pardon, but a doposlt which makes tho chock good wns Just rocolvod." Thn paying tollor lookod It up nnd found this to bo corroct, so thero was nothing loft for him to do but pay out tho monoy. At a cost of $C0 our hero had mado a bad chock for $200 good. Again was tho sun shining and again wore tho birds twlttorlng. Mongoose Rat-Catcher. Accidentally I found tho chomlst's method of dealing with tho rat His shop was ono prosumos1 full enough of poison to send tho wholo stroot to tho cemotory. But ho pinned his faith to a small animal, which was taking a siesta on tho boat chnlr. A mon goose, ho explained, as ho carefully stroked Its tall. Now how many mon gooso (It that Is tho plural) aro ro- qulrod to deal with how many ratsT And whoro do you got n mongooso, and what do you food him on If ho wants any thine but rats? London Chrontclo. How to Cool Water. Trnvolors In desort landB carry wa- tor bags of heavy canvnB or llnon duck. Thoso bngs, when filled, con stantly "sweat" or oxudo enough mols turo to cool tho contents of tho bag by evaporations. Wot cantoons do tho samo. A covered pall or other vossol may bo uaod; wrap cloths around it, keep thorn wet, and hang in a current of air. Outing. Panama Is rising throo feot In each century. JAPS KNOW NO PROFANITY Their Language Contains No "Swear words," unfortunately so Com mon In the West . Tho Jap Is always polite, but onco In & whllo ho slips from graco and when ho does ho Is up against It, for thero aro no swearwords In tho Japanese language, sayo a writer In Lestloa Weekly, When a Jnpancso meets you hn bows throo times nnd takes off his hat, but docs not shako hands. When ho greets you his first con corn Is about your nncostors and next about your stomach. It would bo almost an opon Insult for ono Japanese to meet anothor without asking him how bis stomach fared. On tho third bow ho asks: "This morning, how Is It with your bonorablo Insldo?" As you corao up on your third bow you answer to tho ofTcct that tho placo mentioned Is doing as well as could bo expected and In turn ask him what nows ho has from tho front. Thoa ho lifts his hat again and says: "Your delightful head thin morning. I hopo It havo no commotion." When you toll htm that you aro pleased to report that It feels woll this morning ho asks about a few generations of bonorablo anccs tors nnd then you aro frco to take up tho weathor. Even though they aro elaborately polite, onco In 'a whllo ono Japancso will got mad nt another. Their anger kindles slowly at first, finally fanning to a blazo that knows no staying. But oven though thero is a torront of emo tion seething in his soul thero aro no words to give. It vent; it keeps surging harder and harder until It throws nsldo all restraint nnd gives up all Idea of decency by putting Into ono phrnso all his bitterness and snapping squarely into tho other man's nstort Ishcd faco tho worst thing that can bo snld in tho wholo language: "Your stomach Is not on straight!" This Is tho flnnl Insult: nothing moro can bo added ho has cast tho glova. Thero Is nothing left for him to do but to glvo his enemy n cutting look, turn on his heel and hnughtlly clap-clap away on his wooden shoes. If Civilians' Learn t. Shoot Civilian ritlo clubs aro lately ro coking much attention. They haVo developed a number of men who aro excellent shots with 22-callber rlllcs, Indoors, at a dtstanco of 00 to 76 feet Comparatively fow, howover, aro ablo to handlo tho modern high-pow ered 30-caltbor United States maga ilno ritlo and hit a target 1,000 yards away. Moreover, oven wcro all our men good shots. It must bo remcm bored that shooting Is merely ono of tho Important parts of a soldier's training, and that it Is a very small part Tho soldlor who can do nothing but shoot hns about tho samo relative valuo ob a polo player who can sit on a fenco and wield a mallot skill fully, but who can't rldo a horso. Capt Utchard Stockton, Jr.. lu Col Iter's Wookly. Sunday and Holiday Spring. Is It not Iznnk Walton who tolls of a river in Palostlno that never flowed on Sunday? A strictly voracious story to match this Is told in a recent numbor of tho Proceedings of tho Connecticut Socloty of Civil Engi neers by Mr. Robort E. Horton. It appears that In tho red sandstone of tho Passaic valley thero Ib a spring. located In a picnic ground, which for merly flowed perpetually. Us habits havo changed, and It now flows only on Sundays and holidays. Tho mys tery is easily oxplalncd: A numbor of artoslan wolls woro bored Into tho sandstono In tho vicinity of tho spring to supply water to adjacent silk dye ing establishments. Except on Sun days and holidays, when tho pumps aro not running, tho nrtoslan slopo Is drawn below tho lovel of tho spring outlot and tho spring ceases to flow. Scientific American. Book of Mormon. Josoph Smith published his work known as "Tho Book of Mormon" In tho yoar 1830. Ho claimed that tho work was a transcript undor divine guldanco. ot certain goldon plates burled In contrnl Now York, tho oxlst- onco ot which had boon supornaturally rovealod to htm oy an "angol from hoavon." When Moving Rugs. In packing rugs, wheu moving, I al ways sprtnklo with powdored alum and fold a tow "moth balls In wbon rolling thorn. Then, If not usod Im mediately, as Is Bomotlmos tho case, thoro Is no danger ot tholr being de stroyed by posts. Tho Mothor'B Mag. tzluo. 1 Acquiring Mohammedan Title. Anv XTahnmmmlnn whn ftnmmlta u l J ---- - - LUU wholo ot tho Koran to momory Is glv on tho tltlo of llatu. Cincinnati En qulror. Worry's Evil Effects.' What rust Is to Iron, worry Is to thoso bodies ct ours It corrodes thorn Soloctod. "Leader" and 'Repeater Shot Shells For the hich flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and "Repeater' shells have the reach, spread and penetra tion. Their great sale i3 due to these qualities, which insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads. BJt SURE TO ASK FOR THE W BRAND LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE FALL TERM 0PEH8 TUESDAY, SEPT. 5TH. New Classes Will Be Started Then. Many Students Already Enrolled. Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now. A. T. LINK, Principal. Phone Main 5083 ... Tllford Building Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland. Ore. Comforter. T1 Tlnfna Tllnflinm nt Tlnatnn nn his return homo from doing ambulance work in France, was asked by a re-j porter bis opinion of a German note. "Thero Ib no more real satisfaction," "or comfort In it than there was In tho blacksnako's ruse. "A Pike county mother onco left her little ono seated outside the shack and pulling on a full milk bottle when a blacksnako came gliding up. "Tho snako nestled close to the child, drew tho rubber nipple from its mouth nnd proceeded to drink the milk; but at tho same time the snake did not forget to slip the end ot Its tall gently between the infant's Hps by way of a comforter." Rub It In Thoroughly. A sprain or strain should have Im mediate attention to check the swell ing. Rub on, and rub in thoroughly Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh and you should havo quick relict. Always have a bottlo on hand for accidents. Adv. Plain Enough. "How do you like America, count?" "Quito much, but your figures of speech are somewhat hard to under stand. Now, when it dawns upon you "You begin to see daylight!" ex plained the other mnn. LduIsvHle Courier-Journal. Wisdom. During a lesson on elementary com position a littles girl read tho following as her effort: "Onco a Penny and a Shilling met In a man's pocket. Tho Shilling turn ed up Its nose at the Penny, and said. scornfully: " 'Why, I am worm a dozen or you.' " 'Yes.' said the Penny, 'but even at that I am a good bit better than you aro. I go every Sunday to church, and you nover do.' " London Tlt-Blts. Use Hanford's Balsam when all else falls. Adv. Same Line. "When I was a boy," said the gray- hatred physician, who happened to bo in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to bo a soldier; but my parents persuad ed mo to study medlcluo." "Oh. well," rejoined tho sympathetic druggist, "such Is life. Many a man with wholesalo aspirations has to con tent himself with a retail business." London Tlt-Blts. rp IrAnn rlnon on TinnlfVir tnL'A Tt V IVVVI' VJVUH IIVHtMl 1 Plorco's Pleasant Pellets. They regu late liver, bowels and stomach. Now's Their Chance. "And so you nro convlncod, my friend," nsked the curato, "that thoro Is a placo of eternal puulshmont?" "I am," replied tno uncnaritaoio parishioner. "There s nothing In this world bad enough for somo people." Browning's Mugazino. For calks uso Hanford's Balsam. dv. Poor Picking. "What's tho matter?" asked tho first floa. "You looked starved." "They aro making theso toy dogs so natural," explained tho other flea, 'that I arranged to sununor on ono of them by mistake." Louisville Courier Journal. Innuendo. "Wombat says ho tries to put as gopd a faco on things' as possible." "Ho'b tho man to paint your por trait, old top." Kansas City Journal. Granulated Eyelids, SB gT wT Eye inflamed by expo i tire to Sua. Dsslind Vilci IPrt&k&L qmcUyreUevedbyMaTlaa -g ws juIt jre comforti At Your DnieEirt't 50c per Bottle. Murine Eye SalveinTube2Sc ForBeokollbeEyeFreeask Druggii u or Marine Eye Beaedy Co., Chicago WILL YOU BUY NEW TIRES NOW or make your old one lut through the winter. Write ua about this. OREGON VULCANIZING CO. 50 Waihinirton S L. Portland. Ore. Vindicated Self-Esteem. "The Woggses seem to havo a high opinion ot themselves." "Yes. You see the same cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. So they feel entitled to think that they are rather nice people." Washington Star. Ask your dealer for the free book let, "Useful Hints for Horse Owners," Issued by G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Han ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. No Alibi. "The war is doing me a good turn, anyhow." "In what way?" "I don't have to think up excuses for not taking my family to Europe this summer." Detroit Free Press. IF YOU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famous remedy made from Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure this cruel dis ease in every stage. We want every reader of this paper who is suffering from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every package guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or iwo will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing testimony free. Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Our graduate are occupying enviable posi tions. The teaching process is different from ordinary busineas achoola. Thorough, Practi cal Individual SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY. Address The Registrar, Y. M. C A.. Portland. Oregon, and get detailed Information. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically. Private fitt'ng rooms. Highest testimonials. Re sults guaranteed. Call or write. JOHNSON & UMBARGER 411-412 Alukr Building, Portland, Oregon The Mathews Welding & Cutting Co., S31 Everett St., Near Ninth. Portland. Ore. Portable Eleclric and Oiy-Aceljlene Plant Ready at all Times. Osy-Acetyl.n Welding and Cutting. Welding by Thermit, Electricity, Osy-Acetylene, Welding of Sheet Steel, Cait Iron, Aluminum Brass, Etc Boiler and Marin Work a Specialty. ALSO AGENTS: The Henderson-Willis Weldliur and Cutting Co., St. Louis, U, 8, A. Federal Brass Works. 31st St. & Kedtle Ave.. Chicago.