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About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 11, 1917)
A GOOD POSITION Th , U a od tllton-oipmtimlty-ln. created naywfwn reti r rrid. Ltt ui help mm now. qifc what you want la be ami null today. Catalog fras. -I!HIMWU -minim -MIMtl IIOMTMT -unit nmt -crriw iuiuhi -mttMMtt -vMKHMUt TUWH -llrtUT mtuM -U1IHUD -ewr Hmm Nam,,,. Mlrru,, BUSINESS COliXGK Portland. Or. Royal D-Lite Comfortable LADIES SHOES No to rn No KoreA.nil Less aaaas v v All Style All Size Royal Shoe Co. 148 Fourth St. Near MnnUon A Cast Wis li Mult U: It Doe Not Crow So, There la only one way to rt ,K.l Violin Without Orrat K- Iienn, which Ui Bend In your )ld lUJ One and have It inula Into an UM lined On. K.tl mates vlvan free. All work Kuarantrl. Hand la Till? rnl li tcu rr 'TratsUa-K snv wnUriai st. ruui on. MOTORCYCLES and BICYCLES Bought sold nnd ropaircd. Sup plies of nil kinds. Out of town trudo n specialty. Write us. R. H. BLOCKER 270 Taylor Street Portland, Oregon FARMS AND lUSINESS SOLD IVj you want in ,! your form. hom or builnvM . l.e) U'J a.. nillTL'll IIL'AI TV vw (Miir nnmiu wm a iM.nii a .wa 604 Duchftnan l.ulMlni. PortUnd, Orvroit 3, ELECTRIC MOTORS Bought, Sold. Rented ami Repaired WALK Kit ELECTRIC WORKS llunt.lde. cor. 10th. Portland. Or. REDUCED FREIGHT RATES To and from all liolnte on household rood a. ularto. and automobiles. Information cheerfully given. ParKIn Hnjct FnrwsrHlnorPn twiiUd uwimv wvui i wiiwimiiqwwi I'onJetnd. Ur HIDES, PELTS. CASCARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. Ki tut tl ) tJit Wnte tor prtcit ud saipsttftiit THE H. F. MORTON Co. Portund. On, Seitot. K Qood, No Matter What Tho Officer (after a complaint) This lea n an rignu wimrs mo com' Plaint? Tommy It ain't tea, sir; It's stool The Officer And vory nlco stool London Sketch. Optical Astonishments. "Booing Is believing," said Uio ready made philosopher. "Not always, whon you aro looking at tho movlos." Washington Star, Falling In Line. "I am going to a preparedness moot Intr. my dear, of our club." "All right, William. You had bettor leave me all tho loose chungo you have about you." Baltlmoro Amorlcan. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL Th only Aulomobll School on tho Pa. r(Ae Coast maintaining a Gaa Tractor Vrpt. Using Holt Caterpillar. C, I. lint Tracklayer and Wheal Tractors, Loth In th achool and operating field. 41 Hawthorn At. Portland, Or. SHIP Veal, Pork, Decf, Poultry, Butter, Eggs and Farm Produco to th Old Reliable Kverdlng houee with a record of 45 year of Square Dealing, and b assured of TOP MARKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKHITE 48-47 Front Strt Portland, Orat on Spray-a-Cow Kcops off flics or money back. $1 n gnllon from your doalor, or ordor by mail. PLUMMER DRUG CO. Third and Madiion, Portland, Or. f ' S Portland Y.M.u. A. Auto school Day and night elas.es. Expert tralnlnir In repairing, driving and machine work. Including forge, lathe, .haper, drill preea, tractor, to. Time unlimited, OOMPE. TKNT CHAUFFEURS AND MECHAN ICS SUPPLIED. WltlTK US. P. N. U. No. 30, 1010 WI1EN writing to advertiser, pi MM BkS I ' tlonthle paper. an at j i up . i OffKon If N, M da QUESTION OF FINANCE MORE WAYS THAN ONE OF GET TINQ A CHF.CK CASHED. Proof That There Is Always, to tho Ingenious, a Possibility of Getting Around the Soul-Chllllng Edict "Insufficient Funds." Ho wTtti in high spirits as ho strollod whintllnr down Central Park West. II wnn Murine: his hoillttl wan KOOd tho sun was whining brightly, tho birds In tho park woro twittering mor rlly, nnd In a poker session tho night before ho had won $270, of which $70 was In cash. In an insldo pockot a chock for $200, tho balanco of his win nlnt-n. nniitletl aeatnst his hcarL Ho ronchod tho bank on which tho $200 check had been drawn ana lit lih nl v Hwunc through tho doors, in domed tho paper and presented it nt tho liayliiK tel!or's window. Thoro was a pauno whllo tho teller got busy with his books, In a moment ho was back at tho window: "Insufficient funds," ho said. Tho sun was obscured behind black clouds, tho birds In tho park wcro Riiuawklnir horribly. forKOtton pains began to remind our hero of their cxlstenco. If the ranker of tho chock was tho kind of man who would glvo an N. u chock, to pay a poker loss, bo was suroly not tho kind of man who would mnko good later, thought tho holder of tho worthiest! paper. Then ho had an Idoa. Ho asked .tho teller how much tho chock's maker had on deposit, but tho teller rofuscd to Inform him; say ing it was against tho rules. Oror on a park bench our hero pon dorcd his problem. At length ho reach ed a solution. Thn chock's maker was In tho the atrical business. Our hero visited a press agent of his acquaintance and got a couplo of complimentary tickets Thon ho visited tho bank again. From Uio special guard ho learned tho pay Ing teller's namo. Thon ho wrota a noto to tho paying tellor. enclosing tho tboater tlckots, and to It ho signed tho namo of tho maker of tho check. Ho sent tho noto and tickets by special messenger to tho tellor. Then after waiting half an hour ho called up tho br.nk and asked to talk to tho teller. When ho was connoctod ho gavo tho namo of tho maker of tho check, talked pleasantly for a mo ment about tho theater tickets ho had just sent, and then nsked how largo bis balanco was. Tho toller, glad to do tho favor to ono who had Just sant htm two theater tickets, answerod. "Ono hundred and forty-throo dol lars," ho nald. Our horo aftor a comment or two hung up tho recelvor and walkod straight around to tho bank- Hero ho questioned tho receiving teller to mako euro thoro would bo no slip In his plan. "Can I doposlt monoy to anothor roan's account?" ho asked. "Certainly," eald tho rocolving tell or. wo to always giaa to got monoy from ovorybody." Our hero thon mado out a doposlt slip for $60, under tho namo of tho maker of tho check, and shoved tho slip and $60 through tho rocolving taller s window. Thon ho walked to tho paying toller with his $200 check. "I'd llko cash for this," ho said. Tho paying tollor looked at tho chock and repeated his "Insufficient funds," but our horo said loftily: "Pardon, but a doposlt which makos tho chock good was JuBt rocolvod." Tho paying toller looked It up and found this to bo correct, so thoro was nothing loft for him to do but pay out tho monoy. At a cost of $60 our hero had mado a bad chock for $200 good. Again was tho sun shining and again woro tho birds twittering. Mongoose Rat-Catcher, Accidentally 1 found tho chemist's method of dealing with tho raL Ills shop wasono presumos -full onough of poison to sond tho wholo stroot to tho comotory. But ho pinned his faith to a small animal, which was taking a sloBta on tho boat chair. A mon gooso, ho oxplalnod, as ho carefully Btrokod lts tall. Now how many mon goeso (It that la tho plural) aro ro aulrod to deal with, how manv rata? And whero do you got a mongoose, ana wnat no you food him onIt ho wants anything but rata? London Chronlclo. How to Cool Water. Travelers in desert lauds carry wa- tor bags of heavy canvas or llnon duck. Thcso bags, whon llllod, con stantly "swoat" or oxudo enough mols turo to cool tho contonta of tho bag by evaporations. Wot canteens do tho samo. A covered pall or othor vossol may bo usod; wrap olotha around It, koop Uiom wot, and hang in a current of air.- Outing. Panama is rising throo feet In eaclt JAPS KNOW NO PROFANITY Their Language Contains No "Swear. words," Unfortunately So Com mon In the West Tho Jap ii always pollto, but onco in t whllo ho slips from graco and whon ho' docs ho is up against It, for thcro aro no swearwords In tho Japaneso languago, says a writer In Lcsllo's Wookly, Whon a Jnpanoso meets you bo bown throo times nnd takes off bis hat, but doos not shako hands. Whon ho grootfl you his first concorn Is about your ancestors and noxt about your stomach. It would bo almost on open Insult for ono Japanese to meet anothor without asking him how his stomach fared. On tho third bow ho asks: "This morning, now is it with your honorable Insldo?" As you corao up on your third bow you answer to tho offoct that tho placo mentioned is doing as well as could bo expected nnd in turn ask bltn what nows ho has from tho fronL Thoa ho lifts his hat again and says: "Your delightful head this morning, I hopo It havo no commotion." When you toll him that you aro pleased to roport that It feels well this morning ho asks about a fow generations of honorablo ances tors and then you aro frco to take up tho weather. Even though thoy aro elaborately pollto, onco in a whllo one Japaneso will got mad at another. Their anger kindles slowly at first, finally fanning to a blazo that knows no staying. But ovon though thoro la a torrent of emo tion soothing In his soul thero aro no words to glvo it vont: It keeps surging hardor and harder until It throws asldo all rostralnt nnd gives up all Idea of decency by putting Into ono phraso all his bitterness' and snapping squarely into tho other man's aston ished faco tho worst thing that can bo sold in tho wholo language: "Your stomach Is not on straight!" This Is tho final Insult; nothing more can bo added ho has cast tho gloto. Thero Is nothing left for him to do but to glvo his enemy a cutting look, turn on his heol nnd haughtily clap-clap away on his wooden shoes. If Civilians Learn U Shoot Civilian rlUo clubs aro lately re ceiving much attention. Thoy havo dovolopcd a number of men who aro oxcollont shots with 22-callber rifles, indoors, nt a dlstanco of CO to 75 foct Comparatively fow, howover, aro ablo to handle tho modorn h!gu-pow ored S0-callbor United States maga rlna rlflo and hit a target 1,000 yards away. Moreover, oven wero all our men good shots, it must bo remcm bored that shooting is merely ono of tho Important parts of a soldier's training, and that it Is a very small part Tho soldier who can do nothing but shoot has about tho samo rolatlvo valuo as a polo player who can sit on a fonco and wlold n mallet skill fully, but who can't rido a horso. Capt Klchard Stockton, Jr.. In Col Ucr's Wookly, Sunday and Holiday Spring. Is It not Izaak Walton who tolls of a river In Palostlno that novor flowed on Sunday? A strictly voracious story to match this is told in a recent number of tho Proceedings of tho Connecticut Socloty of Civil Engl nooro by Mr. Robert E. Horton. It appears that in tho red sandstono of tho Passaic valloy thoro is a spring. locatoa in a picnic ground, which for merly flowed perpetually. Us habits havo changed, and It now flows only on Sundays and holidays. Tho mys tery Is easily oxplalnod: A numbor of artesian wolls woro bored Into tho sandbtono in tho vicinity of tho spring to supply wntor to adjacent silk dye Ing establishments. Except on Sua days and holidays, whon tha pumps aro not running, tno artosian Blono Is arnwn oeiow tno lovei ot tho spring outiot ana tno spring ceases to flow. SclontUlo Amorlcan. Book of Mormon. Josoph Smith published his work known as "Tho Book of Mormon" In tho year 1830. Ho clalmod that tho work was a transcript undor divino guldauco, ot cortutn goldon platos ourioa in contrai now vom, tho oxlst. onco of which had boon supornaturally roveaiou to mm oy an "angol from hoavon." When Moving Rugs. In packing rugs, when mo vine i ni. waya sprinklo with powdorod alum and fold a fow moth balls in whon rolling thorn. Thon, It not used Im mediately, as la Boraotlmos tho caso, thero is no danger of thoir bolng de stroyed by posts. Tho Mother's Mag. ulna. Acquiring Mohammedan Title. Any Mohammedan who commtra th nolo of tho Koran to momory la glv i tho tttlo ot Haflr. Cincinnati En on qutror. Worry's Evil Effects. What rust la to Iron, worry la to those bodies of ours It corrodes them "Leader" and "Repeater" Shot Shells For the hich flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and "Repeater' shells have the reach, spread and penetra tion. Their great sale is due to these qualities, which insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads. BB SURE TO ASK FOR THE W BRAND LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE FALL TERM OPENS TUESDAY, SEPT. 5Tli. New Classes Will Be Started Then. Many Students Already Enrolled. Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now. A. T. LINK, Principal. Phono Main S083 ... Tllford Building Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore Comforter. Dr. Bates Bingham of Boston, on his return homo from doing ambulance work In Prance, was asked by a re porter his' opinion ot a German note. "Thcro Is no more real satisfaction," tho distinguished physician replied, "or comfort In it than thero was in tho blacksnake's ruse. "A Plko county mother once left her little one seated outside the shack and pulling, on a full milk bottle when a blacksnake camo gliding up. "Tho snako nestled closo to the child, drew tho rubber nipplo from Its mouth and proceeded to drink the milk: hut at the samo time tho snako did not forget to slip the end of its tall gently between tho Infant's lips by way of a comforter." Rub It In Thoroughly. A sprain or strain should have lm mediate attention to check tho swell' Ing. Rub on, and rub In thoroughly Hanford b Balsam ot Myrrh and you should havo quick relief. Always havo a bottlo on hand for accidents. Adv. Plain Enough. "How do you llko America, count?" "Quito much, but your figures of speech aro somewhat hard to under stand. Now, when It dawns upon you It "You begin to see daylight!" ex plained tho other man. Louisville Courier-Journal. Wisdom. During a lesson on elementary com position a little girl read tho following as her effort: "Onco a Penny and a Shilling met In a man's pocket Tho Shilling turn ed up its noso at tho Penny, and said, scornfully: " 'Why, I nm worut a dozen or you.' " 'Yes.' said tho Penny, 'but oven at that I am a good bit better than you aro. I go every Sunday to church, and you never do.' " London Tit-Bits. Use Hanford's Balsam when all clso falls. Adv. Same Line. "When I was a boy," said tho gray- haired physician, who happened to bo In a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to bo a soldier; but my parents persuad ed mo to study medicine." "Oh. woll." rojoined tho sympathetic druEEtst "such Is life. Many a man with wholesale aspirations has to con tent himself with a retail business." London TIt-Blts. T. 1r.n .Iabii on Iwtn I tVi it rnlrn Tli- Pierco's Pleasant Pellets. They regu- lato liver, bowels and stomach. I Now'a Their Chance. "And so you nro convlncod, my frlond," aBked tho curato, "that thero ! Is a placo of eternal punishment?" I "I am," ropneu tno uncnaruaoio parjshlonor. "There's nothing In this i world bad onough for somo people." ! Brownings Magazlno. For calks use Hanford's Balsam. tVdv. Poor Picking. "What's tho matter?" aBked tho first floa. "You looked starved." "Thov aro making those toy docs so natural," explained tho other flea, "that I arranged to summer on ono ot thom by mistake" Loulsvmo courier- Journal. Innuendo, "Wombat says ho trios to put as good a face on things as possible." "He's tho man to paint your por trait old top," Kansas City Journal. S Grasalafed EyeKSs, Ff5 Eyei inflamed by expe- euretoSsa.DBSfandBfB ' Kaaf. plfx. e, quickly relieved by Marias B . f 5S E)cficsedy. No Smarting, juit Eye Comfort. At Your DrugBitt 50c per Bottle. HarteeEye 1 SalreInTubet2$c, ForDookeltaeEyeFreeaat Druec"U or Miirlae Eys Btstedy Co., Chlciae WILL YOU BUY NEW TIRES NOW or make yoirt- old ones last throucb the nr'nter. Write u about thla, OREGON VULCANIZING CO, K0 Waihinrtou 3t Portland. Ore, Vindicated Self-Esteem. "Tho Woggses seem to have a high opinion of themselves." "Yes. You see the same cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. So they feel entitled to think that they are rather nice people." Washington Star. Ask your dealer for the free book let, "Useful Hints for Horse Owners," issued by G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Han ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. No Alibi. "The war Is doing me a good turn. anyhow." "In what way?" "I don't have to think up excuses for not taking my family to Europe tills summer." Detroit Free Press. IF YOU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famous remedy made from Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure this cruel dis ease m every stage. We want every reader of this paper who is suffering from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every package guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or wo will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing testimony free. Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Ourrr&duates are occupying enviable posi tions. The teaching process is different from ordinary business schools. Thorough. Practi cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY. Address The RegUtrax, Y. M. C A., Portland. Oregon, and iret detailed Information. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically. Private fitting rooms. Highest testimonials. Ito sults guaranteed. Call or writ. JOHNSON & UMBARGER 411-412 Aluky Building, Portland, Oregon The Mathews Welding & Cutting Co., S91 Everett St. Near Ninth. Portland, Ore. Portable Electric and Oiy-Acetylene Plarf. Ready at all Times, Oxy-Acetylene Welding and Cutting. WeUioi by Thermit, Electricity, Oxy-Acetylesw. Welding of Sheet Steel, Cast Iron, Alumlnnan Brass, Etc. Boiler and Marine Work a Specialty. ALSO AGENTS; The Ilenderaon-WUlI Weldbvr and CutUng Co.. St Louis. U. S. A. Federal Brass Works, Slst St & Ktxlile At-. Chicago. century. Selected.