H e Laughs Best
W ho Laughs Last
#
By SADIE OLCOTT
try in g to keep from lau g h in g am i was
now obliged to sw ing his c h a ir to face
the w indow , p re se n tin g his back to the
in q u irer. T he supposed bride, seeing
a nu m b er of persons w ho s a t n e a r her
en jo y in g h er d iscom fort, blushed to the
roots of her h a ir a n d said ste rn ly to
h er to rm en to r:
"M adam , you h av e m ade a m istake.
T he gentlem an is a stro n g e r to me. 1
ro v e r saw him before he took his ch air
in tin s ear."
“ Oil, land!" exclaim ed th e Yankee,
th ro w in g up h er h ands. " I'v e know n
lots o’ lyin’ done by brides to hide th a t
they a re brides, b u t I n e v e r h ea rd an y
th in g like th a t.”
T he girl tu rn e d to D an as m uch as
to say, "H elp m e o u t o f th is."
"I re g re t," he said g allan tly , “ to con
firm th e young la d y ’s sta te m e n t.”
A dozen persons sittin g n e a r laughed
outright.
D an lost his eq u an im ity , m aking
m a tte rs w orse. “ I'll bet a n y one here,"
he said, “th a t I ’m a single m an and
th a t I n ev e r saw th is young lady be
fore to d a y .”
H e d rew fo rth a f a t poeketbook aiul
began to co u n t out ton d o llar hills.
Not a person in te re ste d b u t th o u g h t he
w as a bridegroom d eterm in e d to stav e
off being recognized a s such. T liej
laughed all th e lender. It w a s very
am using. D an looked a t th e girl, an d
the girl looked a t D an. l i e tipped th e
w ink an d said to th e o th ers;
“ I suppose w e’ll h av e to ow n tip.
Now for n w edding p re se n t.”
T ak in g off his h a t, he passed through
(he c a r receiving co n trib u tio n s. By
tills tim e so m any p ersons had become
In terested in w h a t w a s going on th a t a
goodly sum w as collected, w hich Dan
poured in to th e g irl's lap.
“ If you d o n 't w a n t it," lie said, “give
it to c h a rity .”
“I ’ll give it to c h a rity ,” w a s the
sh a rp reply.
A few m in u tes la te r D an ’s station
w as called, an d , say in g gobdby to fiD
bride, he got out of th e ca r, leav in g her
to p u rsu e her jo u rn e y alone
T hen th e c o n trib u to rs laughed again,
bu t a d ifferen t laugh from before.
Dmi E v ersh am en tered a ra ilw a y s ta
tion, b ought his tic k e t and, satch e l in
lia ti. clim bed th e stei>s of a p arlo r car.
H is se a t w as n e x t to u very p re tty girl,
O utside on th e p la tfo rm w as a p arty
of y o u n g sters w ho had been seeing off
a new ly m arrie d couple. P assin g by
I an E v e rsh a m ’s w indow , w h ere he sat
n e a r th e p re tty girl, one o f th e p arty
th re w a h an d fu l of rice a g a in st his
w indow pane. T hen all of th em w aved
goodhys and laughingly passed on.
T ills h it of fun did no t tro u b le Dan
m uch; but, seeing t' e p re tty g irl beside
him blush a deep red. he fe lt so rry for
her.
✓
“ I suppose." he said to her, " th a t
th o se persons th in k th a t th ey perpe
tra te d a very good joke."
" I t w as horrid of th em .”
T ills w a s th e beginning of a c o n v e r
satio n th a t lasted till long a f te r the
tra in sta rte d . M eanw hile those in the
c a r w ho h ad seen th e rice th ro w in g
did n o t doubt th a t th ey had a bri ie
a n d groom aboard. D an w as got u|
w ith sufficient resp len d en ce fo r a
groom , an d th e n e a t tra v e lin g d re ss of
th e g irl w as ap p ro p ria te fo r a bride.
T hen, too, D an w as a lto g e th e r too po
lite an d a tte n tiv e to h a v e been long
m arried , a n d since th e y w ere trav elin g
to g e th e r th ey w ere n o t supposed to be
bachelor a n d sp in ster.
In th e s e a t opposite th e girl s a t a
w om an from New E ngland. T h ere Is
n o th in g m o re in te re stin g to a w om an
th a n a bride, a n d th is person w as a
m o th erly c re a tu re w ho felt h er heart
go o u t to th e young th in g w ho had
but Ju st em b ark ed in th e sou of m a tri
m ony, a sea th a t th e Y ankee had
found a tro u b led one. She en tered into
co n v ersatio n w ith th e supposed bride.
“Nice d ay ." w as h er e n te rin g wedge.
H ighest cash price paid for hides.
“Q uite so," w as th e laconic reply.
B
ring
th em or send th e m in . I will pay
“ G oing fa r? "
I
th
e
cartag
e. C heck m ailed to vou sam e
“ 1 sh all tra v e l all u a v .”
d
ay
as
hides
are received.
R . D.
“You m u st be tired ? "
W erachkul, C loverdale. P h o n e Iff 8-<>.
“W hy uo you th in k so?"
“On, th e re 's a lot to be done in p re p
a ra tio n fo r a w eddin’."
T h e girl sa w a t once t h a t th e p a rty
w ho h ad th ro w n th e rice had given a
w rong im pression. B ut in stead of cor
rectin g it. w hich w ould bo e m b a rra ss
ing. sh e looked dow n a t an open novel
In h er lap a n d said nothing. T he wo
I
m an w as n o t to be pu t off.
“ Y ou're th e im age of a girl 1 knew
in Salem . I w onder if y o u ’re an y re la
tion to her. Your nam e a in 't Tw itch-
ell. is it? "
“No, it isn 't T w itc h e d ."
“O r S au lsb u ry ?"
“ No," a n d to sh u t off f u r th e r Inquiry
th e girl told her h er n a m e w as Effle
T robridge.
“ I g u ess it's get som ep'n else to it
now ."
"S o m eth in g else! W hat else can it
need ?”
“ W all, I guess if d o n 't need n o th in ’
else, b u t o u r law s, m ade fe r m en. force
us w om en to give up o u r ow n nam es
and ta k e on a m a n 's—th a t is. w hen
w e tie ourselves up to one o f 'em . If
I w ns yon I w o u ld n 't d<> it. You've
Safe and Comfortable
got a nice n am e, an d I w o u ld n 't ta k e
on a n y m ore
W h a t's your m arried
Leave Cloverdale daily at
n am e?”
7:30
a. ra . arriv ing at T il la
"I'm not m arried ."
mook
at 10 a. m.— in lima for
T he w om an looked a t h er surprised,
morning tra in to Portland.
then said in a low voice:
"I know th a t b rid es th e first day of
Leave Tillamook at i p. m
m arrie d life don’t like to ow n up to it.
arriving at Cloverdale a t 5
T hey th in k nobody sj>ots 'em fu r b ein ’
p. m.
Jist m arried . But. law s, an y one would
J. M. T R A X L E R , Pr ep
know th a t you tw o w a s Jist m arrie d .”
D an. w h o h eaid th is dialogue, w as
I
Quality Counts
In ever line of Merchandise, bu t none
more especially than in
HARDW ARE
Our large stock is in every instance the bes>t t h a t oan be had
and our aim will be to keep the high s t a n d a r d up.
Builders’ Hardware,
I
Tools
Shelf and Heavy Hardware
Stoves. Ranges, Farm and
Garden Tools
And ev er yt hin g us ua ll y kept in a first-class hardwar e store, and
all goods are of the best qu al ity .
Alex McNair & Co., wu— imnl
I
I
»•
..a .'3g ti n i li tr a n
The Evening Telegram, daily,
and the Cloverdale Courier, both
papers one year for $4.00.
TAKE
( DOCTORS HAVE THE KNACK OF OtTTUtG m 3E.~ )
AUTO
STAGE
All Way Points
E T this u n d e r y o u r scalp lock : “ If y o u w o n ’t
t a k e a little c h e w d o n ’t t a k e a n y ” —t h a t ’s the
" • B C U T C h e w in g message you h e ar gentlem en
telling e a c h o t h e r all o v e r the c o u n t r y . I t ’s c o m m o n
s e n s e applied^ to c h e w i n g tobacco. W - B is rich tob acc o
s h r e d d e d a n d lightly s a l t e d —a n d y o u b e t m e n a r e glad
that it ha s c o m e a b o u t at last.
G
Hade
t»7
WEYMAN-BRUTON COMPANY, 50 U rit*
Squrc, New York Gty