Image provided by: Deschutes County Historical Society; Bend, OR
About Cloverdale courier. (Cloverdale, Tillamook County, Or.) 190?-19?? | View Entire Issue (July 27, 1916)
to me this morning, l was raised on
a farm, and I ’m very fond o f pigs. I
used to go to bed at sundown, so I
never saw one by lamplight before.
ky’s and look over some royal purple
socks. And then I got us busy as ,•>»
(Continued from first page)
one armed man with the nettle rash
pasting on wallpaper. I found an old
romping Into town ana pounding the
Belgian blocks with their hand pegged
Tell you what I’ll do, Rufe,’ I says. negro man with an express wagon to
hire, and we tied the pig in a sack and
sabots ns artless and arbitrary as an we get out o f the pig belt you’ll turn
I'll give you $10 for that pig.’
down to the circus grounds,
extra session o f a Ixitto Bryan duma.
“ ‘I reckon I wouldn’t sell this shoat,’
1 never pass a elreus without pulling nerative misconduct. Why you should says be. ‘ I f It was any other one I j “ I found George B. Tapley In a little
! tent with a window flap open. lie was
the valve cord and coming down for a want to stain your soul with such a might,’
little K ey W est money, so I engaged distasteful, feeble minded, perverted,
“ ‘Why not this one?’ I asked, fear ' a fattish man, with an immediate eye.
! In a black skullcap, with a four ounce
a couple o f rooms and board for Rufe roaring beast as that I can’t under ful that he might know something.
and me at a house near the circus stand.’
“ ‘Why, because,’ says he, ‘it was diamond screwed into the bosom of his
“ ‘Why, Jeff.’ says he, ‘you ain’t in the grandest achievement o f my life. red sweater.
grounds run by a widow lady named
with shoats. You don’t un There ain’t airy other man that could
“ ‘Are you George B. Tapley?' I asks.
Peovy. Then I took Rufe to a cloth
derstand ’em like I do.
“ ‘I swear it.’’ says he.
ing store and gents’ outfitted him. He
have done if- I f I ever have a fireside
seems to me to be an animal o f more and children I ’ll sit beside it and tell
“ ‘Well, I've got it.' says I.
showed up strong, as I knew he would,
than common powers o f ration and In
“ ‘Designate.’ says lie. ‘Are you the
’em how their daddy toted off a shoat
after he was rigged up in the ready
telligence. He walked half across the from a whole circus full of people. guinea pigs for the Asiatic python or
made rutabaga regalia. Me and old
room on his hind legs awhile ago.’
And maybe my grandchildren too. the alfalfa for the sacred buffalo?’
MIsfltzky stuffed him into a bright blue
“ ‘ Well, I ’m going back to bed,’ says They’ll certainly be proud a who'e
“ ‘ Neither,’ says I. ‘ I ’ ve got Beppo.
suit with a Nile green visible plaid e f
I. ‘See if you can Impress It upon passel. Why,’ says he, ‘there was two
the educated hog. in a sack in that
fect and riveted on a fancy vest of a
your friend’s Ideas o f intelligence that tents, one openin’ into the other. This
wagon. I found him rooting up the
light Tuskegoe normal tan color, a red
he’s not to make so much noise.’
shote was on a platform tied with a flowers in my fion t yard this morning.
necktie and the yellowest pair o f shoes
“ ‘H e was hungry,’ says Rufe. ‘H e’ll little chain. I seen a giant and a lady
I ’ll take the $5,000 in large bills if it’s
In town. They were the first clothes
go to sleep and keep quiet now.’
with a fine chance o f bushy white j haiuly.’
Rufe had ever worn except the ging
“ I always get up before breakfast
ham Inyette and the butternut top ' and read the morning paper whenever hair in the other tent. I got the shoat
“ George B. hustles out of his tent
dressing o f his native kraal, and he I happen to be within the radius o f a and crawled out from under the can I and asks me to follow. We got into
looked as self conscious ns an Igorrote Hoe cylinder or a Washington hand vas again without him squeakin’ as J one of the side shows. In there was
loud ns a mouse. I put him under my i a jet black pig. with a pink ribbon
with a new nose ring.
press. The next morning I got up ear
“ That night I went down to the cir ly and found the Lexington daily on coat, and I must have passed a hun j around his neck, lying on some hay
cus tents and opened a small shell the front porch where the carrier had dred folks before I got out where the ; and eating carrots that a man was
game. Rufe was to be the capper. I thrown i t The first thing I saw in it streets was dark. I reckon I wouldn’t j feeding to him.
gave him a roll o f phony currency to was n double column ad. on the front sell that shote. Jeff. I'd want ma to
“ ‘Hey, Mac,’ calls G. B. ‘Nothing
keep it, so there'd be a witness to what
bet with and kept a bunch of It In a page that read like this:
‘ wrong with the worldwide this morn-
special pocket to pay his winnings out j
! ing, is there?’
F IV E T H O U SA N D D O LLA R S R E
“ ‘The pig won't live long enough.’ I
of. No, I didn’t mistrust him, but I !
“ ‘Him? No,’ suys the man. ’He's
simply can't manipulate the ball to ! The above amount will be paid, and no says, ‘to use as an exhibit in your ! got an appetite like a chorus girl at 1
lose when I see real money bet. My questions asked, for the return, alive and senile fireside mendacity. Your grand ’ a. in.’
uninjured, of Beppo, the famous European children will have to take your word
lingers go on a strike every time I J educated
pig, that strayed or was stolen
“ ‘flow 'd did you get this pipe?’ says
for it. I ’ll give you $100 for the ani
from the side show tents of Binkley Bros.'
to me. ’Eating too many pork
"I set up my little table and began to ( circus last night.
GEO. B. TA B LE T,
“ Rufe looked at me astonished.
show them how easy it was to guess |
“ I pulls out tile paper and shows him
Business Manager, at the Circus Grounds.
which shell the little pea was under.
" I folded up the paper flat, put it like that to you.’ he says. ‘W hat do ! the ad.
The unlettered hinds gathered In a
“ ‘ Fake.’ says he. ’Don’t know any-
thick semicircle and began to nudge bRo raV Inside pocket and went to you want him for?'
You've beheld with
elbows and banter one another to bet.
Then was when Rufe ought to have and was feeding the pig the rest of "Ith a rare smile, ‘you wouldn't think [ your own eyes the marvelous, wor! 1
that I ’ve got an artistic side to my | wide porcine wonder o f our four foot
singlefooted up and called the turn on the milk and some apple peelings.
But I have. I ’m a collector ed kingdom eating with preternatural
the little Joker for n few tens and lives
I've scoured the world for sagacity his matutinal meal, unstra.ved
to get them started. But no Rufe. I ’d I says, hearty and amiable. ‘So we of pi
seen him tw o or three times walking are up? And piggy is having his unusual pigs. Over lu the Wabash val j and unstole. Good morning.’
“ I was beginning to see. I got in tho
about and looking at the sideshow pic breakfast. What had you intended do ley I ’ve got a hog ranch with most
every specimen on It. from a Merino wagon and told Uncle Ned to drive to
tures with his mouth full o f peanut ing with that pig. Rufe?’
“ ‘I’m going to crate him up,’ says to a Poland China. This looks like a tlie most adjacent orifice o f the nearest
candy, but he never came nigh.
“ The crowd piked a little, but trying ' Rufe- ‘nn<1 exI>ress him to ma in Mount blooded pig to me. Rufe.' says I. ‘I alley. There I took out my pig, got
shells without a capper Is Ne,)°- n o ‘ n be company for her while believe it's a genuine Berkshire. That’s the range carefully fo r the other impell
to work the
why I’d like to have it.’
ing, set his sights and gave him such a
like fishing without b ait I closed the I am away.’ „
kick that he went out the other end of
game with only $42 o f the unearned
says lie. ’but I've got the artistic tene the alley twenty feet ahead of liis
Increment, while I had been counting
ment too. I don’t see whv it ain't art squeal.
on yanking the yeomen for $200 at
“ Then 1 paid Uncle Ned his 50 cents
least. 1 went home at 11 and went to
when you can steal a shoat better than and walked down to the newspaper o f
bed. I supposed that the circus had
anybody else can. Shoats is a kind of fice. I wanted to hear it In cold syl
proved too alluring for Rufe and that
inspiration and genius with me. Spe lables. I got the advertising man to
he had succumbed to It. concert ami
cially this one. I wouldn’t take two his window.
all, but I meant to give him a lecture
hundred and fifty for that animal.’
“ ‘T o decide a bet,’ says I. ‘ wasn't
on general business principles in the
“ ’Now listen.’ sftys I, wiping off my
the man who had this ad. put in last
forehead. 'It's not so much a matter
night short and fat. with long whisk
“ Just after Morpheus had got both
o f business with me as it is art. and
and a club foot?'
n\y shoulders to the shuck mattress 1
not so much art as it is philanthropy.
was not.’ says the man. ‘ ITe
hears a houseful o f unbecoming and
Being a connoisseur and disseminator
would measure about six feet by four
ribald noises, like a youngster screech
o f pigs, I wouldn't feel like I’d done
ami a half inches, with eornsilk hair
ing with green apple colie. I opens my
my duty to the world unless I added
dressed like (he pansies o f the con
door and calls out In the hall for the
that Berkshire to m.v collection. Not servatory.’
widow lady, and when she sticks her
Intrinsically, but according to the eth
“ At dinner time ! went back to >!rs.
head out I says, ‘ M i n . I ’eevy. ma'am,
ics o f pigs ns friends and coadjutors of
would you mind choking off that kid
mankind. I offer you $r>00 for the aid
“ ’Shall I keep some soup hot for
o f yours so that honest people can get
Tatum till he comes back?’ she
“ ’Jeff.’ says this pork esthete. ’It
“ ‘Sir,’ says she. ‘it's no child o f mine.
ain’t money; It's sentiment with me.’
“ ‘I f you do. ma’am,' says I, ’you’ll
It’s tho pig squealing that your frleml
“ ‘Seven hundred.' says I.
Mr. Tatum brought home to his room a
‘“ Make it eight hundred,’ says Rufe. more than exhaust for firewood all
couple o f hours ago. And If you are
’and I'll crush the sentiment out of the coal in tho bosom o f the earth and
all the forests on the outside o f it.’
uncle or second cousin or brother to
my h ea rt’
“ So there, you see." said Jefferson
It I ’d appreciate your stopping its
“ I went under my clothes for my
in conclusion, "how hard it is
mouth, sir. yourself If you please.’
money belt and counted him out forty
ever to find a fair minded and honest
“ I put on some of the polite outside
twenty-dollnr gold certificates.
habiliments o f external society and
“ 'I ’ll just take him Into my own
“ B u t” 1 began, with the freedom o f
Went lnf«> R u fe ’s room. He had got
room.’ says I, ’and lock him up till aft
acquaintance, "the rule should
up and lit his lamp and was pouring
work both ways. If you had offered
some milk Into a tin pan on the floor
“ I took the pig by the hind leg. He
to divide the reward you would not
for a dingy white, half grown, squeal
turned on a squeal like the steam cal
liope at the circus.
Jeff’s look o f dignified reproach stop
“ 'llo w Is this, Rufe?' says I
“ ‘ Lot mo tote linn in for you.' says
fllmflnmmed In your part of the work
Rufe. and he picks up the beast under
don’t Involve the same princi
tonight and put the game on cruf<1 es
j <me arm. bolding his snout with the ples at all.” said he. "M ine was a
sh o a ts.’’
A tid how do you iexplain the p ig’ !t
' other hand, and packs him into my
legitimate and moral attempt at spec-
looks like backsliding to me.’
“ ‘H e’s a mighty fine pig,’ says t, room like a sleeping baby.
elation. Buy low and sell high. Don't
" 'Now don’t be* too linrd Oil mo. scratching him on the back.
“ A fte r breakfast Rufe. who had a Wall street indorse It? Bulls and
J“ ff.’ saysi ho. ’ Yon know how 1one
“ 'You called him a lot o f names last chronic case o f haberdashery ever
bears and pigs—what’s the difference?
I'v e been us*vl to Ndealing sho ats. I t ' s night.' says Rufe.
since I got Ids trousseau, says he be- Why not bristles as well as horns and
got to be a habit wltji me. And u>
’’ ’Oh well.' says 1, ‘he looks better , Moves he will amble down to Mlsfitz-
T N G “ fiTMIGS OP P I G ”
night, when I see such a fine chance.
! couldn’t help fakin' it.’
" ‘W ell.’ says I. ‘maybe you've real
ly got kleptoplglp. And maybe when