‘I guess lie is tired or i>eing a hy ena,’ 1 replied. “ ‘But he can’t be anything else, can he?’ He Tells How He Invented a “ ‘Why, we can’t make a bird o f him, New Animal. but maybe I can make some other ani By M. QUAD mal o f him.’ Copyright, laifi, by the McClure “ ‘Then do It, man.' Newspaper Syndicate. “ I changed the hyena's food a dozen times and gave him whisky to lap “ Gentlemen.” began the old showman Instead of water,” said the old show as his little crowd o f admirers assem man. “ but it didn’t improve him any, bled to listen to his tale, “ did any of and I set m yself to wonder how 1 you ever hear o f an animal called a could make him over. The bright Idea came to mo at last, and one Suuday, "guyasticutus?" when we had a lazy day o f it, I bought “ There never was such an animal,” various paints and brushes. There replied one. "There is such a word as was a farmer’s hired man hanging guyasticutus. but it is a slang word. j around the show. He had deserted the When you call a man a guyasticutus plow for the romance o f the circus. He had offered to work for $3 a week you express your contempt for him.” “ My friends, you are wroug. and I and bis board, but 1 had no room for shall take great pleasure in convincing him. When I got the idea o f making you o f the fact. I can't say that %uch the hyena over I beckoned to this chap an animal exists now, but he surely did and said: “ ‘Joshaway, 1 will give you $5 a forty years ago. for I invented him myself.” week and your board if you w ill do "G ive us the yarn !" was called out | what I want you to do. It concerns I the old hyena in the cage over there. from every one. "W ell, I was head keeper o f the me I want to make a guyasticutus of nagerie traveling with the circus We him.’ had started out o f winter quarters with 1 “ Joshaway promised, and the first five hyenas in the cage, but four of thing to do uTas to tie the old hyena them had gone dead on us. 1 guess It up. We got ropes and straps around his legs and a muzzle over his nose, was pneumonia that carried them off and then went to work with the paints. The one left was an old he hyena, and he could stand any sort o f weather and H e didn't give us much trouble; he take the bumps of the country high was too lonesome and homesick for ways. However, after his companions th a t W e gave him bright green ears; had departed this life we saw a change we gave him a bright red nose and in him. lie didn’t fall sick, but he got red eyebrows; we spotted his body here and there with green, red, blue, lonesome and sulky. "T h ere were daily complaints that yellow and black paints. W e put a our hyena was a fraud, and 1 was dozen rings around his tail, und we wondering what we could do about it j painted his legs one color and his feet Say, boys, when we got when the boss came to me one day ; another. ; through with that hyena we had to sit and said: “ ‘George, that old hyena is making back and roar with laughter.. "W e had a special cage made for trouble for us. What's the matter I him and gave it such a position that with him anyhow?’ The Old Showman IN estucca V a l l e y Bank GLOVERDALE, OREGON W e Want Your Banking * 1 Business BANK Several of our customers are people we do not know bv sight though we have done business by mail with them for years. believe we have given them satisfactory banking service and can give you the same satisfaction. Mail us Your Next Check or Checks It saves you time, and T I M E IS MONEY, especially at this season of the year. No need to come to the bank in person. SECURITY A N D SERVICE Our Motto .^ T Y °° b A N K I L U A M O O K . O R E .; only tlie front with its iron bars could he scon. Rehind it on a chnlr was Joshaway, the young man who was looking for romance. lie did all the talking, but it seemed to come from the guyasticutus. Joshaway had a voice like the filing o f a saw, and his talk was a great success. The animal lu front of him went on with a long rig marole as to his forest home in Hon duras and what he did there. “ Tlie fatal day did not arrive until we had showm that guyasticutus for two years and a half. I renewed the paint on him every other Sunday and saw to It that he had the choicest kind o f food.” “ But what about the fatal day?” was queried. “ Oh. yes. about that fatal day,” re plied the »»Id showman. "W ell, It came about In this way. That young man Joshaway undertook to eat an apple while he was giving Ills talk, and the I seed o f the fruit got into Ills throat | and stuck there. He had to choke and cough and sputter, and the fact that there was a man somewhere hidden be hind the guyasticutus could not bo | concealed. There were shouts o f ex citement and derision and calls for an Investigation. H alf a dozen men press ed forward and seized the cage and pulled it off its benches. That same FIRE! You need the Bank we need your business. MUTUALITY, That’s all Bank with your home bank and enlarge the Business scope of the Nestucca Valley. half a dozen men seized Joshaway by the neck or somewhere else as he still choked and sputtered over the seeds and brought him out for the crowd to pick on. In Just one minute It was plain that the public had been swin dled for years. They had had a guyas ticutus Instead o f a hyena and had double their money’s worth, hut they wanted their revenge, and they took it. The cage was kicked about until It was smashed and Its occupant was killed, and they stepped on Joshaway and poked and poumled him until he would never again feel romantic, and the fight spread until something like a thousand men and women were engaged In I t W o had to stop the circus performance and pack up and move on. and we had to go for a full hundred miles before we heard the last o f our scheme to outdo natural hlstcry." F R A N K TAYLOR, Notary Public Cloverdale, Ore. FIRE! FIRE! T R O U B L E S ON YOUR BRAIN can be speedily done away with if you will but take the precau tion to protect yourself against catastrophes. A few dollars will assure you of your home, or a fitting sub.-titute, for a fire in surance policy ia a resurrcctor from the possible wreck you may become enmeshed in any day. Take our advice. Get out a fire insurance policy com mensurate with your holdings. And can give you all the advantages that any other can give you. We Phone Us Call on Us Write Us TODD HOTEL BUILDING, TILLAMOOK R O L L IE VV. Vt/ATgnM The Insurance Man