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About Cloverdale courier. (Cloverdale, Tillamook County, Or.) 190?-19?? | View Entire Issue (July 20, 1916)
‘I guess lie is tired or i>eing a hy
ena,’ 1 replied.
“ ‘But he can’t be anything else, can
He Tells How He Invented a
“ ‘Why, we can’t make a bird o f him,
but maybe I can make some other ani
By M. QUAD
mal o f him.’
Copyright, laifi, by the McClure
“ ‘Then do It, man.'
“ I changed the hyena's food a dozen
times and gave him whisky to lap
“ Gentlemen.” began the old showman Instead of water,” said the old show
as his little crowd o f admirers assem man. “ but it didn’t improve him any,
bled to listen to his tale, “ did any of and I set m yself to wonder how 1
you ever hear o f an animal called a could make him over. The bright Idea
came to mo at last, and one Suuday,
when we had a lazy day o f it, I bought
“ There never was such an animal,”
various paints and brushes.
replied one. "There is such a word as was a farmer’s hired man hanging
guyasticutus. but it is a slang word. j around the show. He had deserted the
When you call a man a guyasticutus plow for the romance o f the circus.
He had offered to work for $3 a week
you express your contempt for him.”
“ My friends, you are wroug. and I and bis board, but 1 had no room for
shall take great pleasure in convincing him. When I got the idea o f making
you o f the fact. I can't say that %uch the hyena over I beckoned to this chap
an animal exists now, but he surely did and said:
“ ‘Joshaway, 1 will give you $5 a
forty years ago. for I invented him
week and your board if you w ill do
"G ive us the yarn !" was called out | what I want you to do. It concerns
I the old hyena in the cage over there.
from every one.
"W ell, I was head keeper o f the me I want to make a guyasticutus of
nagerie traveling with the circus We him.’
had started out o f winter quarters with 1 “ Joshaway promised, and the first
five hyenas in the cage, but four of thing to do uTas to tie the old hyena
them had gone dead on us. 1 guess It up. We got ropes and straps around
his legs and a muzzle over his nose,
was pneumonia that carried them off
then went to work with the paints.
The one left was an old he hyena, and
he could stand any sort o f weather and H e didn't give us much trouble; he
take the bumps of the country high was too lonesome and homesick for
ways. However, after his companions th a t W e gave him bright green ears;
had departed this life we saw a change we gave him a bright red nose and
in him. lie didn’t fall sick, but he got red eyebrows; we spotted his body
here and there with green, red, blue,
lonesome and sulky.
"T h ere were daily complaints that yellow and black paints. W e put a
our hyena was a fraud, and 1 was dozen rings around his tail, und we
wondering what we could do about it j painted his legs one color and his feet
Say, boys, when we got
when the boss came to me one day ; another.
; through with that hyena we had to sit
“ ‘George, that old hyena is making back and roar with laughter..
"W e had a special cage made for
trouble for us.
What's the matter
I him and gave it such a position that
with him anyhow?’
The Old Showman
IN estucca V a l l e y
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SECURITY A N D SERVICE Our Motto
.^ T Y °° b A N K
I L U A M O O K . O R E .;
only tlie front with its iron bars could
he scon. Rehind it on a chnlr was
Joshaway, the young man who was
looking for romance. lie did all the
talking, but it seemed to come from the
guyasticutus. Joshaway had a voice
like the filing o f a saw, and his talk
was a great success. The animal lu
front of him went on with a long rig
marole as to his forest home in Hon
duras and what he did there.
“ Tlie fatal day did not arrive until
we had showm that guyasticutus for
two years and a half. I renewed the
paint on him every other Sunday and
saw to It that he had the choicest kind
o f food.”
“ But what about the fatal day?” was
“ Oh. yes. about that fatal day,” re
plied the »»Id showman. "W ell, It came
about In this way. That young man
Joshaway undertook to eat an apple
while he was giving Ills talk, and the
I seed o f the fruit got into Ills throat
| and stuck there. He had to choke and
cough and sputter, and the fact that
there was a man somewhere hidden be
hind the guyasticutus could not bo
| concealed. There were shouts o f ex
citement and derision and calls for an
Investigation. H alf a dozen men press
ed forward and seized the cage and
pulled it off its benches. That same
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half a dozen men seized Joshaway by
the neck or somewhere else as he still
choked and sputtered over the seeds
and brought him out for the crowd to
pick on. In Just one minute It was
plain that the public had been swin
dled for years. They had had a guyas
ticutus Instead o f a hyena and had
double their money’s worth, hut they
wanted their revenge, and they took it.
The cage was kicked about until It was
smashed and Its occupant was killed,
and they stepped on Joshaway and
poked and poumled him until he would
never again feel romantic, and the fight
spread until something like a thousand
men and women were engaged In I t
W o had to stop the circus performance
and pack up and move on. and we had
to go for a full hundred miles before
we heard the last o f our scheme to
outdo natural hlstcry."
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R O L L IE VV.
The Insurance Man