N o t T h a t K in d .
W eary W a lk e r—L ady, could y er help
a poor fe lle r a little ? I’ve got a h ack
in ’ cough a n ’ a headache.
M rs. K in d lin g —W ell. I've got a little
wood o u tsid e you could hack, und it
m ig h t cu re y o u r headache.
W eary W u lker— M uch obliged, m um ;
b u t, y e r see, m y head ach e a in ’t of th e
s p llttin ’ k in d .—L oudon Scraps.
C a v e H im a P o in te r .
G eorge A de w as once stra n d e d in a
sm all to w n , l i e w e n t Into th e b a rb e r’s
shop to g e t sh av e d an d endured even
u n to th e end. W hen th e b arb er had
com pleted his o p eratio n th e hum orist
aro se and, p u ttin g u h an d k e rch ief to
his face, said gru v ely :
"S ir, you h av e m issed y o u r vocation
You o u g h t to bo a n o y ste r opener.”
A n Advance.
C lerk (to h ead o f flrm)- -I w ish to
a sk you, sir, if you ca n k indly see y o u r
way to giving m e an a d v a n c e of
w ages? H e ad o f F irm —C ertain ly , Mr.
F hlpps, w ith pleasure.
M r. B lu n t
(tu rn in g to th e cashier), let M r. P h ip p s
h av e a sovereign on a c c o u n t of his
sa la ry a n d d ed u ct it w hen you pay
him on S a tu rd a y .—L ondon MaiL
N o c tu r n a l T r a g e d y .
I t is a d a rk n ig h t I t is also a d a rk
kitchen. T h e kind h e a rte d m a n in his
sto ck in g feel is a f te r a d rin k of w a te r
fo r his fre tfu l vouugster. H e th in k s
W A S A LU ON A C C O U N T O F A M IS T A K E
u ii
I
*
The fact we wish to hammer is that Alex McNair & Co.’s
store gives more quality, service and satisfaction than any other
store in Tillamook county.
Our Phenominal Success Demonstates that Fact.
Remember Alex McNair & Co. for Builders’ Hardware,
Eave Troughing, Farm Tools, Shelf Goods, Cutlery, and every
thing kept in a fully stocked hardware store.
j Alex McNair & Co., Tillamook, Dre.
9
I
»•
I CLOVERDALE
<z
SAY. B U T H E ’:
' m adi c e e w h
i “It Don’t Hurt a Fact to
JIammer it.”
B e fo re a n d A f t e r .
She w as a frivolous, fash io n ab le
y oung w’om an w ith b eau s galore, b u t
one m an w ith only a sm all incom e
seem ed to be th e favorite.
“ You’ll have to w ork h a rd before
you w in th a t g irl,” said his m other.
“A nd a good deal h a rd e r a f te r you
w in h er,” an sw e red his fa th e r, w ho
knew w h a t he wras ta lk in g a b o u t
»•
» • ■ n e
J U D G E .IL L BET SO M EB O D Y HAS T R IC K E D
H IM . T H A T ’S O R D IN A R Y T O B A C C O , A N D
H O U S E S T H E N E W CUT R « !ftL f
OTEL
CLOVERDALE, ORE.
A
Home
for Travelers and Visitors |
«
. !■ j.
..'-a— m ----- u i
W -6 CUT CHEVJlN'- M E A N S MOÄL .
J
c o m f o r t - m oki : s a t i s f a c t i o n .
IT C O S T S
.
-------- .
K
T
Beds 50c and up,
,
C M «w
$
;
§
.
BECAUSE Y O U
le s s
use Less. TOBACCO.
U T M
Meals 35c and 50c
a u T - '-J i; *'•
\
- _ '-S,
T_-
I
I.
Everything first-class
Your Patronage Solicited
f*
A
M A N who uses only ordinary t ' , , occ would prol. • ‘y nsver kick
if som e io<1 y changed brer,>.
Hut W-H C U T Chew-in*— the ! •- d i ot aoco C hew , neat cut. Inna shred
— is so differn i from orJiii.:i y ini .- , s.. much more r.utiafying that
nothin)! cun tuke its pinci w ith > r i: v '.o knttJS.
G et a pouch
oi W-B CUT C h e w ill !
give
it a qujlity teat. Y o u can tell.
“ N o tic e h o w lh-5 sa lt h.-iu u c u i th e ric h to b a c c o t - s t e ”
Made by WEYMAN-CHUTON COMPANY,
CO Union Square, Now York City
G et M ore M o n e y ” for your Skunk
FREE TO BOYS
This
C o y o te s , M u s k ra t, F o x e s , W h i t e W e a s e l a n d o t h e r
F u r b e a re r s c o lle c te d in y o u r s e c tio n
S H I P Y O IT R F U R S D I R E C T to “ S H l ’ R E R T ” the largest
house In the World dealing exclusively in NORTH AMERICAN RAW I t US
a reliable—responsible—safe Fur H ouse with an unblem ished rep
utation existing: for "more than a third of a century." a long: suc
cessful record of sending Fur Shippers prompt,S A T I S F A C T O R Y
A N D PRO FITA BLE returns. Write for "Khe j&tuibert (Shipper.”
th e only reliable, accurate m arket report and price list published.
W r it e fo r i t - N O W —i f s F R E E
Q H IIR F R T
In c
25-27 W E S T A U S T IN A V E .
I S . a n U i S E . K . 1 , I n c . D e p tlO S Z C H IC A G O .U .S .A .
0.00
Knife
We Mean Just What We Say—FREE!
A dandy, guaranteed Jackknlfts
best
Kr.gllab steel, yiven away ahaolutsly frae to any
b o y wh<H w ill do a few hours* work for ua In hie
c « a n tik 'h b a rh o o d .
W e W an t One Boy
Portland.
Cut Out this Coupon and Mall it to us
MGR. ROYS’ DEPARTMENT
TiXE e v e n i n g TELEGRAM, Portland, Or.i
Please tell me how I ca n se c u re the $2.00 Boy
Scout Knife Free.
K a m o .............
Address
he ca n find his w ay In th e inky d ark
ness. H e is m istak en . H e tu rn s to
th e le ft Instead of to th e rig h t and
fa lls dow n cellar.
A n o th er good m an gone w rong.—
C leveland F lain D ealer.
P ro o f In H a n d .
“T h o se fish will cost you ju s t $10
apiece,“ said th e fish w ard en as lie
c a u g h t a disciple of iz a a k W altou p ur
su in g his sp o rt o u t of season.
“G re a t!” exclaim ed th e fisherm an,
b an d in g over th e m oney. “G ive me a
receipt, please.
Now th e boys will
h av e to believe m e w hen I tell them
w h a t I ca u g h t.”—SL Louis 1‘ost-Dis
p a tc h
A id s to M e m o ry .
“ W h a t’s th e s trin g tied ou y o u r fin
g e r for, B ilby?"
“T h a t? My w ife put it th e re .”
“T o rem in d you?"
“Yes, to rem in d me to—t o -
P.!es<
my soul, w h a t w as it to rem ind me of.
now ? Oil, yes. 1 know ! My w ife tied
th a t s trin g on my finger so th a t if a n y
th in g w o rries m e I ’ll rem em b er to fo r
g et it 1”— P itts b u rg h T ress.
W h y T en n y so n W ro te
N o L e tte r s .
T en n y so n once told Sir H enry T a y
lor th a t he th a n k e d w ith his w hole
h e a rt a n d soul th a t he knew n o th in g
an d th a t th e w orld knew n o th in g of
S h ak esp e are b u t his w ritin g s and th a t
he knew’ n o th in g of J n n e A u sten an d
th a t th e re w ere no le tte rs p reserv ed
e ith e r of S h ak esp e are o r o f J a n e A us
ten ; th a t they, In fa ct, h ad n o t been
"rip p ed open like pigs.”
A ll M ix e d U p .
“W ell, how d id you com e o u t w ith
y o u r Ju ry d u ty ?"
"1 d on’t like It,” confessed Mrs.
W o m b a t “ W hen th e law y er fo r th e
plain tiff got th ro u g h I w as s u re he
w as r i g h t W hen th e a tto rn e y fo r th e
d e fe n d a n t finished 1 felt c e rta in he
w as rig h t.
W hen th e Judge got
th ro u g h I d id n ’t know w ho w as r i g h t ”
—L ouisville C o u rier-Jo u rn al.