VOL. 10.
CLOVERDALE, TILLAMOOK COUNTY, OREGON. MAY 14, 1915
Written by Frederick
R. Toombs From
George Ade’s Scena=
rio, Which Has Been
Filmed by the Essa=
nay Company.
GEOPGE A PE —
FABLE OF THE DIVINE
SPARK THAT HAD A
SHORT CIRCUIT
[C o pyright, 1915, by E ssa n a y C om pany.!
ILA was all Fussed Up over the
prospect of showing the ueigh-
* bors how acting should really
be acted. Lila was the prin
cipal Daughter of a Poultry Merchant
aud was to play the role of Cypreue,
heroine of the Grand civil war drama
to be produced at the Opry House of
Maple Grove. That the Opry House
used to be a skating rink, and prior to
that, a freight station for the W abash
railroad, did not alter the local opinion
among the Amateur Thespians that it
L
; was In every sense qualified to be a
veritable Temple of the Muses.
But. anyway, that’s w hat it was.
The eventful night arrived. Lila
was there. So was the Poultry Cir
culator. and his wife. And Lila shone
Iridescently, even incandesceutly, in
the character of the fair Young Thing
who saved Corporal Thompson's life
every time he succeeded in coaxing
himself into Imminent Danger.
It was one of those W ar Plays which
make one believe that the Famous
General had the Correct Perspective
! in his Description of War. If th at fa
mous Institution for working off the
world’s surplus population is as Fierce
| as the plays named after it, the W ar
Correspondents-might us well shut up
shop and come home. They can't give
us the Proper Dope on it, th at’s all.
There was u Beaut of a climax to
the third act. Lila had two of the
Village Belles assist her in the makeup
t
•
NO. 44
Several of our customers are people we do not know by sight
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believe we have given them satisfactory banking service and can
give you the same satisfaction.
Mai us Y^ur next Check r Checks
It saves you time, and TIME IS MONEY, especially at this season
of the year. No need to come to the bank in person.
SECURITY AND SERVICE our Motto
If?
O U Ñ T Y 1 IS Ï BANK
K ■ O R r
*
I
process, iu her dressing room. Finally
they got her all Dolled Up like a Poi
soned Frog aud the stage manager
shoved her through the wings and into
the full glure of the Calciums and the
Populace. IJla was all to the Sarah
Bernhardt then, you may be Sure.
Her Job was to rescue Corporal
Thompson, 17th New York Volunteers,
Union army, from the Dire Vengeance
of Sergeant Culpepper, 18th Georgia
Reserves, Confederate army.
Just why Corporal Thompson ought
to be rescued is one of the mysteries
of Life. Nothing he'd ever done gave
him the right to a real, bang up Res
cue.
The role of the corporal was being
Essayed by Heiuie Mouse, nephew of
the Switch Tender over at Larrabee’s
Crossing. And Sergeant Culpepper
was portrayed by No Less a personage
than Percival Potage, brother of Clau-
dina Jones who runs the Elite Hash
House down near the Wet Creek
Swimmln’ Hole.
Yes it was Some Sassy Party of our
Inside Social Set that was performing
the histrionic Goose Step before the
audience of High Toned Guys at the
Opry House.
Corporal Thompson was arguing
with Sergeant Culpepper about the
Excessive tax on Bourbon Firew ater
levied by the Confederate government
jvheu the Corporal was iu Georgiu aud
Detained from the Bowery by the
duty of Marching with Sherman to
the Sea.
The Sergeant was Protesting that he
was not Excise Commissioner of the
Confederacy at the time. He proved,
as a M atter of Fact, that when Sher-
*iun was Beating to W indward to get
a Close V’lew of the High W ater m ark,
over Savannah way, or thereabouts,
he, Culpepper, was a mere hostler for
Juba! Early S tu art "Yans. by Heck.
Sah."
The Corporal loaded up with nnother
Charge of cut plug Ammunition. The
firing lines Converged.
Just as things got to Fever n e a t a
Third Party suuck through the papier
mache bushes to settle the argument
once and for all. He would do that
Little Thing. Yes, he would. Leave
It to Him.
Curses!!!
It was One
Lu[io, that’s who
It was, from over Blufftowu way. lie
“Lila Admitted the Fact.”
had been driven out of the camp of the
notorious Mockslmmons Raiding Guer
illas because lie was so Rough. He had
arrived on the Scene of Action by riding
on the roof of u calaboose bitched to
the southeasterly corner of an nninni
tiIt ion train. In each hand he Clutched
a 4.7 navy Bulldog. The 47 automatics
use I In later years by Broncho Billy
Were Sons of those Guns. Clinched In
his teeth was a curved blade with n
notched handle. In Ills eyes was the
cold, cruel and yet defiant gleam that
decorated the Upper Works of the aw
ful Pirate Henry Morgnn, alias “The
Black Morgan/* alias "The Scourge of
the Southern Seas.*'
Things looked black for the Blue and
the Gray.
But no!
Lila waa there.
Just as One Eared Lupo sprung to
ward the Vets the Thick Nerved.
Tough Hearted little Amazon from the
Poultry T rust's Roost presented a real
!y truly “G at” at the wretch’s flannel
shirt.
“No, you don’t!” she screamed so-
pranlcally. Then site Kicked him on
the Ankle.
Curtain—wild applause—Nice Speech
[Continued on last {' .gel