VOL. 10 / CLOVERDALE, TILLAM OOK COUNTY, OREGON, JA N U A R Y I A BACHELORS COMPLAINT f | By F. A. Mitchell « 15, 1915 NO. 3 3 Several of our customers are people we do not know by sight i am a bachelor, and I propose to re I had been supplanted, and, more than main a bachelor Heaven forbid that this, 1 knew that his w ife had under- [ though we have done business hy mail with them for years. We I should be tied by unbreakable chains mined Ids good opinion o f me. Then to one of those paradoxical, unreason it became apparent why she wished believe we have given them satisfactory banking service and can Jim to bring me to see her. She able. Illogical creatures, a woman. give you the same satisfaction. Why my bosom friend. Jim Brown, couldn’t attack one she had never seen, j or if she did her onslaught would have had to put a firebrand between him Mail us Your next Check or Checks self and me l can t imagine. We were had no w eight She must have some thing tangible to attack. Inseparable I never felt at home with “-So t!iis is the wonderful man.” I It saves you time, and TIM E IS MONEY, especially at this season any other person as with him. and doubt not she said after seeing me, without me he did not know « ’hat to of the year. No need to come to the bunk in person. do with himself Suddenly there pop “ that you have been lauding to the j Why did he not say some of ped up between us—what? Clothes— skies SECURITY AND SERVICE our Motto many clothes, clothes varying in cut those bright things that you have so with every season And within these often spoken of? Didn’t feel well enough acquainted? I suppose 1 shall clothes was a woman Some day There is nothing unreasonable about have to w.tit till he does when he feels more ¡it home here 1 pre- | me I would have been perfectly « i l l lug that Jim should go to see this sume he «'ill deluge us « ’ith his wit.” What a melancholy awakening Jim much adorned grownup child once a must have had after this first in 1 week and stay till 3 in the morning if he liked. I certainly would never spection hv Ids ladylove o f Ids bosom j have thought of being jealous of one friend to discover that I «'as sifter all j ^ Sample of How Clsverly They Are Several Species of Fish Are Famed For who is not endowed « ith a spark of a commonplace per.-on! And how sin Their Leaping Powers. Mixed In France. manliness Rut she was not satisfied gular it is that these creatures, « ’ ho do j Jumping as a means o f locomotion Politicians o f the United States are with this. She wanted him all the not kno«’ the difference between a is shared by a variety o f animals of supposed to be gifted above those of time And Jim. poor beggar, was so syllogism and sole leather, can produce widely different classes. Kangaroos under her thumb that she did what on a man o f intellectual vigor the effect all other countries in the art o f self ad and Jerboas among the she liked with him i they require hy mere irony! Jim had vertisement. but it is doubtful whether thrushes and robins among mammals, the birds, Then she must needs nag at him to [ known me intimately for years, and \ any o f our politicians are more adroit as «'e ll ¡is such familiar forms as in this respect than certain Frencb- bring me to see her Why she uished yet by a few words a woman hmlsiwt frogs, -cockics. crickets and fleas—all m ii Witness, for example, the follo w to meet me « ’as a puzzle I cert ..’y , tered ids idol illustrate this pronetiess to leap, most had no desire to meet her. “ Do bring 1 Jim has a relapse occasionally and ing announcement, published In the ly as a means o f getting quickly over your friend He must lie a lovely man drops into my room for a bit o f “ old newspapers o f Purls: (In* ground, and even lions and tigers, since you are so fond of him.” And times.’’ ¡is lie culls them "G E N EU A L E I. EC’TIO N . But he Jim was fool enough to believe that knows they ¡ire not old times; they are "T o the Electors o f the Steenth A r which never spring in ordinary cir- she « ’tinted to meet me because I « ’ as altered times Doubtless be thinks rondissement. City o f Paris; The un eumstaiiees. readily adopt this method “ a lovely man.” that for him they are changed for the dersigned appreciates the flattering de o f attacking their victims. A considerable number o f fishes are Just as soon as they were engaged bette. i that he is leaving me in a sta sire o f many o f ids fellow citizens that there « a s friction ¡is to the evenings tionurv position, while he has ad he should represent this arrondisse remarkable for their leaping powers, she wanted Jim and those I «anted valued At any rate. 1 have noticed ment in tile chamber o f deputies. A l and several ol these performers are on him 1. being a reasonable creature, that those iliings l continue to enjoy, ways proud to feel himself In accord that account specially favored by an «•as willing to divide Jim's evenings or think 1 enjoy, are beginning to bore with his fellow citizens, he is con glers. since by jumping clear ot the wa « ’ith her Not so she If Jim made | iiiti: If I speak of ¡i new play on the vinced that he would represent them ter in some cases many times in suc an engagement « ith me she would ! hoards lie «i l l turn the subject to the faithfully and that his nomination cession they lax tlie fisherman's skill make him break it more severely than fishes less active smart sayings o f Ids little Jim Then, would be equivalent to an election. Despite all this pulling and hauling j too he lias become absorbed in piling “ Fully appreciating this fact and a ml therefore give added zest to their . for Jim’s companionship, he must ! up money foi Ids «fife and children thanking the citizens of the Steenth nr- capture. bring that "lovely" friend o f his to see after he has g on* He says It is awful rondiss'ement for their confidence so M em bers o f the salmon family are her. 1 refused to go This frightened to think o f leaving them without sup generously bestowed, he begs leave, universally famous for their high Jim. for he said that It « ’oultl create port It seem« to me that in getting nevertheless, to announce that the Jumps The sea trout are untiring ae an enmity between ber and me that married he gave up all tile fun there great increase in his business as a ro! its. ami a fish o f a pound weight «•ould be unpleasant all round I gave dealer in hats at 1000 Hue de Mar «•ill more than once Jump several Is in life to make a slave o f himself In to Jim—not to her. Sometimes I «under whether if Jim seilles fully occupies Ills time and at tii • s its own length out of the water Considering what she wanted me for. | and I had growu old as bachelors « ’e tention and that Ills service to the pub « I i n hooked before coming to the her treatment o f me was remarkable. lie at this well known establishment nci would hove maintained the same In At tl. ir best salmon can jump You would have thought she was in terest in each other I fear not. Men will unfortunately prevent Idm from at least ten feet above the surface, a love « ’ith me instead o f Jim. “ I ’m a w develop on different lines Some men accepting the responsibilities o f a dep feat achieved by shipping the water fully glad to see you!" she said, all don't develop ¡it all At any rate. I uty. «•kb the powerful tall and Hexing the 6miles “ I ’ve heard so much about "In short, instead of putting himself body until the head and tall all hut you that It seems I have known you find that association with any one does at the liead of the people, he claims the meet.—Philadelphia Ledger. I won a long while You have no Idea bow not interest me as it once did firlvilege of putting; ids products upon der If ! will some day regret not hav j fond Jim is o f you You must come their heads."—Chicago Iieruld. tnu pur irr ■ ml In one o f these pestif j Where Dr. Johnson Worked. and see me often. Any one that Jim Dr. Johnson’s house In Gough square, speaks o f so highly must be very nice." erous n. ritnoulal nooses London, Is a noble old piece o f Queen If you bad heard I lie intonation she Fair Offer. Anne architecture, and in stripping gave the words “ very nice" you would "Can you tell me how to live 100 the walls o f their surfeit of paper Mourning In Arabia. have realised the irony between the years?” When Araoian women go into mourn beginning and ending of this sentence. and canvas and stutT the restorers The philosopher stroked Ids heard came across several quaint old cup Mind you. I didn’t see through ail ing they stain their hands and feet this then. I confess I was fooled with indigo for eight days, and dur- ! thoughtfully. “ 1 will try.” be said. “ If boards, and these iinve nil been pre- while she was sho«’ing plainly that Ing that time they will drink no milk, you can give any good reason for i served with their original handle« and she had an object in fooling me. No on the ground that its «h it e hue does wanting to live loO years.” —Philadel ' mountings and ndd enormously to the one but a « ’omen can coddle a man not harmonize with the mental gloom phia Record. domestic verisimilitude of the placet and let him know that she Is stnlilng —London Standard. At tiie top may be seen the spacious him without re|H>lling tiim Instead of Africa's Sea God. garret, where the doctoi kept ills six repelling she winds him round her fin Each Tuesday <>n the Gold Const of The W ay of Life. clerks slaving away at the dictionary ger while she is feeding him poison. On« o f the foibles that poison home Africa is devoted to the sea god. No which first brought him fame: nnd But ! know It el) now Jim was life is the unwillingness to yield in un fishing takes place, and the fishermen alongside the house nnd the caretak married, and when he returned from important trifles The desire always utilize the time in mending their nets. er's lodge is the tiny garden which his wedding trip he tried to grasp my to have one's own way is very far CnFlyle in Ills »«sa y on Johnson de hand with fervor, but it was not the Much o f our lives is * pent in marring from the way o f life. scribes as rather larger than a bed- same fervor as before 1 knew that our own influence. 1 qu ilt POLITICS AND BUSINESS.