14 // COASTWEEKEND.COM
Coast Weekend’s local
restaurant review
Downtown Seaside pub and grill off ers a tad of whimsy
Review and photos by
MOUTH OF THE COLUMBIA
MOUTH@COASTWEEKEND.COM
It was novelty that fi rst drew
me in to Seaside’s Big Kahuna
Pub and Grill. More specifi cally:
a photograph of a Bloody Mary
with a bacon cheese burger on top.
I stepped into the darkened, loosely
island-themed, shoebox-sized restau-
rant and asked the bartender: “Is this
for real?” “It sure is,” she said. “Well
I’ve got to have one,” I said.
As she got to work, we got to
talking. It turned out she owns the
little hole-in-the-wall, which is
tucked in at the end of an alcove
near the beach on Broadway. Her
name is Jill Harling, and she also
owns Bebop Burgers, which shares
a wall and partial menu with Big
Kahuna. While the sister-business-
es have been around a quarter-cen-
tury, Jill took over in 2014 after
moving to the North Coast from
Alaska. Jill was sharp, hospitable
and personable — qualities in
somewhat rare supply on Broad-
way’s oft-faceless, churning and
transient tourist funnel.
Jill created the teeming, Finish
Line Bloody Mary — what I came
in for — when she fi rst heard about
Hood to Coast, a relay race where
teams start at Mt. Hood and fi nish
on the beach in Seaside. The drink
seemed appropriate — hearty,
gluttonous and a little bit deranged.
Besides the crowning burger, the
drink came garnished with plenty
more — two shrimp, a pepperoni
stick, celery, stuffed olives, a wand
of pickled asparagus, a peppero-
ncini, lemon, lime, and probably
something else I’m forgetting. Oh,
right — it comes with a side of
fries too. Sadly, though, my Hood
to Coast Bloody Mary wasn’t
earned quite as envisioned.
I began to snicker as Jill stacked
accoutrement after accoutrement.
I laughed out loud as the towering
cocktail neared completion, and
again as it was delivered to my table.
I reveled in the joyous absurdity.
Made spicy, the drink had a
I
reasonable snap. I particularly en-
joyed the rim — beyond salt there
was pepper, spices and seeds. The
house-made mix was right down
the middle — neither limp nor
wicked strong. Just fi ne.
Now: the garnishes. There’s
no reason to describe most of
them — dipped momentarily in
a vodka-tomato juice mix we can
all fathom celery, a cured pepper-
oni stick, olives, and so on. The
shrimp were a tad dry and wanting,
but a fi ne source of lean protein.
The burger was strikingly familiar.
If you’ve been to Wendy’s you
know what I mean. Think: Junior
Bacon Cheeseburger and you’re
nine-tenths of the way there. I
did a double-take — if not for the
round patty I might’ve begun an
investigation.
Nonetheless, the Finish Line
Bloody Mary was a good time
— plus it made a surprisingly
substantial, if irresponsible, lunch.
(For those less hungry or playful,
Big Kahuna offers a version with-
out the burger and fries.) However,
my trail of giggles were muted a
bit when I received the $21 bill.
Novelty, it turns out, can cost you.
On subsequent trips I was
curious where the cocktail-capping
burger fi t in on the Big Kahuna/
Bepop spectrum. It seemed of a
junior or child-sized variety. From
the full-grown options I tried the
Swiss Melt, which was bigger, but
not wholly man-sized. At $7.50
and served a la carte I felt like
I’d payed a few dollars too many.
Besides the grilled onions being
cut so fi ne, practically shredded,
the rest of it was familiar, swerving
toward the fast food.
I was thankful the BBQ Pork
Sandwich ($9.95) wasn’t drenched
in corn-syrupy sugars, though
neither the portion nor the fl avor
left me reeling. Neither did the
Hawaiian Teriyaki Chicken & Rice
($9.95) plate, from the menu’s
truncated, seemingly forgotten
“Taste of Hawaii” section. The
veggies were steamed to oblivion.
But hey, again, it wasn’t propped
BIG KAHUNA PUB
AND GRILL
Rating:
111 Broadway, Seaside
PHONE: 503-738-3271
HOURS: 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.
daily
PRICE: $ – Most entrées hov-
er around $10
VEGETARIAN / VEGAN OP-
TIONS: Not recommended
SERVICE: Cheery, fun
DRINKS: Full bar (families
welcome)
I LAUGHED
OUT LOUD
AS THE
TOWERING
COCKTAIL
NEARED
COMPLETION.
KEY TO STAR RATING SYSTEM
Poor
Below average
Good
Excellent
Best in region
Above: The Finish Line Bloody Mary comes with
shrimp, a pepperoni stick, celery, stuff ed olives,
a wand of pickled asparagus, a pepperoncini,
lemon, lime, a bacon cheeseburger and a side
of fries.
Right: Though the BBQ Pork Sandwich wasn’t
drenched in corn-syrupy sugars, the portion
and the fl avor didn’t wow the Mouth.
up with sugars. I also tried the Cod
Fish & Chips ($10.95). The neatly
uniform size of the beer-battered
fi llets told me just about every-
thing I needed to know.
With a few visits under my belt
I missed that initial glee of the
stacked Bloody Mary. So, I did
what anyone would in this case:
ordered a jello shot and one in a
syringe. The jello shots ($1) made
with vodka smacked of rubbing
alcohol, though I quite enjoyed the
spicy, tequila-based lime fl avors
(aka green).
When the syringe was deliv-
ered, the neighboring table perked
up. They were a group of three,
all sipping bright, mid-afternoon
cocktails and beginning to guffaw.
It was a ladies-only weekend, I
learned, as they began befriending
everyone within earshot. They
cackled at my jello-syringe. “It’s
like a cold worm wiggling into
your mouth!” said one of the
jello-syringe experienced before
I had a chance to squeeze the
plunger. She was right on. The
group ordered a round of syringes
for themselves. And then another
round of cocktails, including one
that came in a bucket. Increasingly
boisterous, they laughed, gasped,
confessed and prodded, two-and-a-
half-sheets into the wind. I thought
to myself: While the food at Big
Kahuna may not be a worthwhile
draw, whimsy could be.