Salt Rheum It may become chronic. It may cover tha body frith lar-o, inflamed, burning, itching, sealing patches and cause intense suffering. It has been known to do 80. Io not delay treatment. Thoroughly cleanse the system of tha humors on which this ailment depends and prevent their return. Tht medicine taken by Mr. la E. Ward, Cove Point. Md.. u Hood's Sarsaparilla. She write: " I had a disagreeable Itching on my arm which I concluded was aalt rheum. I began taking Hood's Sarsaparilla and In two das' flt better. It was not tonf before I wa cured and I hare never bad any akin disease sine." Hood's Sarsaparilla rromisea to cure and keeps the promise. It is positively tme qualed for all cutaneous eruptions. Take it A Favorite Spot. Misi Dusnap (disgustedly). This Is the sixth jug I have hooked Into and pulled up. Mr. Bertwhistle (confidently) Good! That shows that this must be a pretty fine place to fish. Brooklyn Eagle. There I more Catarrh In Una section of the Country than all other diseases) aut together, and until tha last few year was aunpoae4 to be Incurable. For a treat saanv years doctors pro. nouncrd It a local disease, and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly Wing to core with local treatment, pronounced it focarebte. Science has proves catarrh to be a constitu tional disease, and therefore requires eonstito ttonsl treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, man ufactured by r. J. Cheney A Co, Toledo, Ohio, is the onty constitutional cure on tha market. It is taken Internally In dosea from 10 drops to a teaspoon ful. It acts directly the blood and raucous sarface ot tha system. Tbey offer one hundred dollars for any rasa it falls to Hire, fiend for circular and testimonials. Ad dress, F. . CH KNKY CO., Toledo, 0. Bold by Irnirfsrs, 75c Bail's Family FiUs are tha best. Seek Protection from Extortion. Eight hundred residents la South London have Joined a tenants protec tive league, started a few weeks ago, "to enable weekly tenants to combine for self-protection against the extor ' donate and illegal demands ot land lords and rate collectors, and for pro vision ot the necessary legal assist ance." Pure Blood, Beantlfnl Coraploxloa Go hand In hand, one Impossible without the other, and the best, quickest, easiest blood purifier is Caacarets Candy Cathartic. AU drug gists, 10c, Joe, ate. An Insuperable Obstacle. "What foolish things they do say about the Rockfeller fortune. Here is someone who claims that if it was in $1 bills it would encircle the earth." "Well, wouldn't It?" "Of course not. How would you get them across the ocean?" Cleve land Plain Dealer. Time proves all things. It has seen Wizard Oil cure pain for over forty years. Many people know this. - - - A Pennsylvania Giant William Lippincott, the heaviest man in Bucks county, Pennsylvania, weighs 479 pounds, but offers to out dance any man who will try conclu sions with him on the waxed floor. Not long ago he allowed a young man to hit his hardest where his (Llp pincott's) waist should be. The young man broke his arm. V.iSTE 0 IE very man. woman and child snfter imc With colds, asthma, croup, pneu monia or consumption to write us. American Lnu Balm Pad Co., Chattanooga, - A Luxurious Traveler. Cecil Rhodes never does anything by halves. When he came over to England by the fast mail from Africa, besides other specially provided com forts, he" was accompanied by his own chef, his own poultry and his own cow. Easy. "Which would you rather, Tommy, be born lucky or rich? asked' Uncle Tredway. "Both," replied Tommy, sententious ly. Detroit Free Press. Of Course. "Is that Mrs. Brown of Boston?" "I dunno her name, but she's Bos ton bred." . "Then she's brown, of course." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Outlet for JWuch Fresh Water. The Detroit river is the outlet of the greatest body of fresh water in the world, aggregating 82,000 square miles of lake surface, which in turn drain 125,000 square miles of land. Under Control. The Count Your daughter, madam, says she is perfectly willing to have me. , The Mother Yes; she Is very dutiful. ' The diseases most feared are those which are Inherited handed down from generation to gen eration, and family to family. By far the most destructive of these is Cancer, which finds the greatest number of its victims among the children and grand-children of those whose blood was taint1 with this dreadful malady. You may carry this poison in the blood for years but as the vital powers begin to wane a slight bruise or cut, wart or mole, sore or pimple may develop into Cancer. From middle life to old age is the time when the slumbering poison is most apt to break out, a sore or nicer often degeneratine into Cancer, and Tumors become more progressive and ulcerate through the skin the sharp, shooting pains causing the most intense suffering. ' The Cancer patient naturally grows despondent as one after another the usual remedies fad, and the sore shows no 6ign of healing. The impurities that have been accumulating in the system, perhaps for generations, cannot be eliminated nor the poisoned blood made pure by salves, washes and plasters. The proper treatment is to purify and build up the blood, remove the cause, when the sore or ulcer heals O O C i. " Mr. J. B. Arnold, of Greenwood, B. tiny nloer came, Just under tha left eye. It beg-aa spreading-, and grew worse rapidly, destroying- the flesh as It went. As Cancer la hereditary In my family I beoame thoroughly alarmed, consulting the best phy siolans and taking; many blood medicines, none of which did no any good, when one of our leading-drag-gists advised ma to try S. S. S., and by the time I had taken the second bottle the Cancer began to snow signa of healing-, the discharge grew gradually lass and finally ceased altogether, the sore dried up and nothing remains but a slight scar. X feel that I owe my Ufa to 8. S. S. wait nntn the blood is so polluted and the system so thoroughly saturated with the poison that no medicine, however efficacious, can check the progress of the disease! 1J there is a tamt in your blood get it out at once, don't wait fof some externalevi dence of it the appearance of a tumor or ulcer. We have prepared a special book on Cancer which we wiU mail free. Our physicians are ready to help you br theb advice and such direction as your case requires. Write us fully and freely no charge for medical advice. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA, CIA. Counting Hit Chicken. . "Before I trite my consent to your engagement to n.y daughter, what is your annual Income?" "Counting everything, tstr, about $4, 000. as near aa I can tell "Yea hm and added to this would be the $3,000 income which I promis ed to settle on her which would- "Yes, sir, yes that ts tf you don't mind, I've already counted that In." New York Times, Street Car Pan for Doe;. A Detroit man has a pass which en titles him to carry his dog with him on the street cars. The pass is In the j shape of a photograph of the dog, on ! the back ot which is an order, signed by the superintendent of the lines, di recting the conductors of all cars to permit the dog to ride. The dog a : Boston terrier is known to nearly all the conductors, and it is rarely necessary for the owner to show his order. . The Distinction. "I could never see," remarked the Sabbatarian, caustically, "wherein the 'sacred concert' differs from the ordin ary concert "Why, that's simple enough," re plied Waggs. "It isr "Certainly. The "sacred concert is given on Sundays only," Philadel phia Press. Sweet Revenue. Dlggs And you ami going away on a vacation this summer? , Dags You bet I'm not; my land j lord said, if I closed up the house and went away he should charge me rent ' Just the same, and I'm going to stay at home" to get even with him. Ohio State Journal. To Fit New Conditions. "In a baseball game near Boston the ostrich swallowed the ball." "That would appear to necessitate a change in the language of the game." "What change?" "Out in a fowl." Cleveland Plain Dealer. A wife is either a man's best pos session or his very worst St Jacobs Oil for .Chut Colds, Bronchitis, Croup and Pleurisy. An outward application for bronchi al difficulties is many times far more effective than syrups, cough mixtures, cod liver oil, etc, simply because it penetrates through to the direct cause, which is, as a rule, an accumulation of matter or growth tightly adhered to the bronchial tubes. St Jacob's Oil, possessing as it does those wonderful penetrating powers, enables it to loosen these adhesions and to Induce free expectoration. Cases have been known where expec torations have been examined after St Jacob's Oil has been applied, and the exact formation was clearly shown where the adhesions had been remov ed or pulled off the bronchial tubes. All irritation of the delicate mucous membrane of the.bronchae is quickly removed by the healing and soothing properties of St Jacob's OIL In cases of croup and whooping cough in child ren St Jacob's Oil will be found super ior to any other remedy. St. Jacob's Oil is for sale through out the world. It is clean to use not at aU greasy or oily, as its name might imply. For rheumatism, gout sciatica, neuralgia, cramp, pleurisy, lumbago, sore throat, bronchitis, sore ness, stiffness, bruises, toothache, headache, backache, feetache, pains in the chest, pains in the back, pains in the shoulders, pains in the Umbs, and all bodily aches and pains it has no equal. It acts like magic Safe, sure and never failing. QuickTime. "Did you meet any Philadelphia girls at Atlantic City?" "Yes; and I proposed to one." "What did she say? ' . "She told me to come back at the end of a year and I might kiss her." Detroit Free Press. Survivor of San Jacinto Battle. James Monroe Hill, of Austin, Tex, is one of the few survivors of the battle of San Jacinto, which assured to Texas its independence. He was born in Georgia, and is a cousin of the late United States Senator Benjamin H. Hill, of that state. Why lie Thought So. "I see that a steamer ran into a school of whales off the Lower Cali fornia coast. I s'pose it was a school of oratory." "Why so?" ' "They were all spouting." Cleve land Plain Dealer. Will They Take Expert Testimony ? "They are investigating that young doctor who kissed the pretty nurse in the hospital." "All the testimony Is oral, I sup pose?" Cleveland Plain Dealer. V Timely Hint Every married man should Join some good society the society of his wife and children for Instance. Chi cago News. Cwrrft.. "A I -?' gsriirectiy into the blood, destroys the virus, stops the for mation of Cancerous cells and cleanses the system of impurities. What we say of S. S. S. -as a cure for Cancer is supported by the testi mony of those who have tested it and been re. stored to health. Ti:o Gi:sxga cf EJiO Is the most important period ta a wo man' existence). Owmsr to modern methods ot living, not one woman in a thousand approaches this perfectly natural change without experiencing a train of very annoying and aomo iimea painful symptoms. Those dreadful hot flashes, sending the blood surging to the heart until it scents ready to burst, and the faint feeling that fallow, sometimes with chills, aa if the heart were goiug to stop for good, axe symptoms of a dan- 2 4 - v(i 5 h ) 1? ales. Jcxtn XontA rerous, nervous trouble. Those not flashes are just so many calls from nature for help. The nerves are cry ln out for assistance. The cry should 'w heeded in time. Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound was pre pared to meet the needs of woman's system at this trying period of her life. It builds up the weakened nervous system, and enables a woman to pass, that grand change triumphantly. " I was a trery sick woman, caused by Change of Life. I suffered with hot fl uJjes, and fainting spells. 1 was afraid to go on the street, my head and back troubled me so, I waa entirely cured by Lydia E. Pinkhatn's Vegeta ble Vrn pound." Mrs. Jknms Noble, (010 Keyscr St, German town, Pa. Poor Chili "You've got a little brother," said the nurse at breakfast "He was born last night" "Really," said Tommy, "And last night was Sunday. Poor kid!" "Why do you say that?" "Cause his birthday won't do him any good. Sunday's a holiday, any how." Philadelphia Press. A Waste of Hospitality. Mrs. Hermitage (of Drearydale) I believe I will invite the Gothams cut from the city to spend Sunday with us, Oscar. Hermitage (hopelessly) What's the use, Mary? They don't want to buy a suburban cottage.. Boston Journal. Accounting for It "It may be merely fancy," remark ed Mrs. Seldom-Holme, "but since my husband commenced drinking the wa ter from that iron spring he has seemed to be ten times as obstinate as he used to be." "Perhaps," suggested Mrs. Nexdoor, "the water Is tinctured with pig iron?" Chicago Tribune. What Did She Do? Miss Prism Don't let your dog bite me, little boy. Little Boy Ho won't bite, ma'am. Miss Prism But he Is showing his teeth. Little boy (with pride) Certainly he is, ma'am; and if you had as good teeth as he, you'd show 'em, too." Tid-Bits. Not So Bad Mrs. Housekeep Oh, Bridget you haven't really broken that piece of Severes? Oh, my! That's the worst thing you could have broken in the whole house! Bridget Faith, Oi'm glad to hear it wasn't the best mum! Philadelphia Press. Thrown from His Cab and Kilied. The following is a most interesting and, In one respect pathetic tale: Mr. J. Pope, 42 Ferrar Road, Streat ham, England, said: "Yes, poor chap, he Is gone, dead horse bolted, thrown off his seat on his cab he was driving and killed poor chap, and a good sort too, mate. It was him, you see, who gave me that half bottle of St. Jacob's Oil that made a new man of me. 'Twas like this: me and Bowman were great friends. Some gentleman had given him a bottle of St. Jacob's Oil which had done him a lot of good; he onlj used half the bottle, and remembering that I had been a martyr to rheuma tism and sciatica for years, that I had literally tried everything, had doctors, and all without benefit, I became dis- ! couraged, and looked upon it that there was no help for me. Well," said Pope, "You may not believe me, for it is a miracle, but before I had used the contents of the half bottle of St. Jacob's Oil which poor Bowman gave me, I was a well man. There it Is, you see, after years of pain, after us ing remedies, oils, embrocations, horse liniments, and spent money on doctors without getting any better, I was completely cured in a few days. I bought another bottle, thinking the pain might come back, but it did not, so I gave the bottle away to a friend who had a lame back. I can't speak too highly of this wonderful pain killer." An Uncalculatint; Hero, Helen Oh, he Is not at all mercen ary. Alice But he doubtless knows that you are worth two millions. Helen Yes; but he says he would love me just as much If I wasn't worth but a mile and a half. Judge. A Real Wonder. Bill Have you seen that woman lightning change artist at the thea ter? Jill No. Is she good? Bill Great! Why, she puts on her bonnet in less than fifteen minutes. Yonkers Statesman. Another Trade by David. The gentleman known as David Harum stopped the deacon on the road. "Deacon," said David, "I'll give you a dolllar an' my sorrel mare fer that black colt you're driving." "Done," said the deacon. Silk In Pliny's Time. In the time of Pliny silk was sup posed to be a vegetable product and his "Natural History" contains a long story of the way in which It was picked from trees in the East Indies and spun and woven into fabrics. SEATS OP MONARCHY. King Kderar att Csar Mcbalaa Hava Sevaral Royal Cttelra. Great Brltaiu has no distinctive and exclusive throne. Instead, there are four-the wooden chair, with the slab ot Scotch stone, la Westminster Abbey, which has served as the coronation seat of the monarch of this realm for seven ceuturles; the sumptuous chair of state In the House of Lord: the chair on which the late Queen sat when holding a drawing room la Buckingham Taiace, and the gilt arm chair at Windsor, la which the sovereign sits to receive let i ' 'I '! ' at' . . . I , .. ''a le .! W.v,v.--, U.U.I, t ;H I "-- ,it 'J Mi fV J - BRITsIX 8 COROSATlOJf CHA.I8. ters ot credence or recall from foreign euvoys, or accord audience to dusky potentates. The Csar of Russia Is even more di versely throned. Each of a doxen chairs of state are at various times styled the Russian throne. The two most remarkable are the chairs ot Ivan the Terrible and the one tn St George's Hall of the Winter Palace at St Pe tersburg. The former Is of turquoises. In the back alone there are 10.000 of these gems. The other chair Is of cost ly woods, with Ivory and gold, richly jeweled, and embossed with the Im perial eagle. The seat is ot ermine, and the arms are Ivory tusks. Further east in Teheran, the Shah displays himself on a white marble throne, looted from Delhi In 1739. It Is of Ivory, overlaid with gold, and ablaze with gems. Its value being estimated at over 1,000,000. In 1070 the Dutch possessed CO tons out of every 100 afloat Now they own t tons out of each hundred. The sun's diameter decreases at the rate of five miles in a century. Its present diameter Is $'.0,000 miles. There are twenty-eight pounds of blood In the body of an average grown up person, and at each pulsation the heart moves ten pouuds. Houses which are damp because of proximity to undralned land may be rf.'idsred more habitable by plauting rthe laurel ami the sunflower near them. A hotel landlord In St. Louis has es tablished curfew reflations In his house. Promptly at 10 o'clock at night the curfew rings, ami guests at that time are expected to turn out the lights and go to bed. Owing to competition with Spain, Italy and Northern Africa, where labor Is cheaper, French farmers nre aban doning the cultivation of olive groves. In the department of Marseilles alone within six months 40.000 olive trees were uprooted. It has been calculated that the hair of the beard grows at the rate of 1 lines a week. This will give a length of CMi Inches In the course of a year. For a man 80 years of age, no less than 27 feet of beard mast have fallen before the edge of the razor. The total number of copies of news papers printed throughout the world In one year Is estimated at 12,000,000,000. To print these requires 781.200 tons of paper. The oldest newspaper is said to be the KIn-Pau of Pekln, which has been published continually for over 1, 000 years. In Tennessee and Georgia the peanut is known as a goober, In Alabama and the Western Gulf States a ground pea. In the Southeast of the United States and In the West Indies a plndal or pln- dar, and In various parts of England a jurnut an earth nut or a manlla nut To drive ants from the lawn fine coal ashes sprinkled about the burrows of ants will cause them to leave. Ashes may be used on the lawn without Injury to the grass. Sifted ashes are best, but those fresh from the stove, shaken from the stove shovel, will answer the purpose very well. The philosopher Confucius, writing of the great Chinese Emperor Yn, said that all his efforts could be summarized In the creation of canals. They were an effective means of diminishing the destructive action of torrents and avoid ing inundations, and at the same time afforded a source of irrigation. Women in Old Egypt-' The religious Egyptian believed bis ulterior happiness and bis everlasting union with the divinities in the eternal world to be wholly dependent upon his preparations beforehand, and with these the wife had much to do. She was, In fact, as the mother of bis chil dren, his savior and liberator, for none but a son could pray for the father's soul on Its way to paradise, and she was entitled to and received bis hom age and loyal obedience. In those days the "gray mare was the better horse," and she was treated accord ingly. . i Durability of Plate Glass. It has been ascertained that plate glass will make a more durable monu ment than the hardest granite.' Live Fish Sales In Berlin. More living fish are sold in Berlin than In any other market in the worjd. j HI II I ARE YOU AMBITIOUS? Success Is Yours If You . Want It. The Best Way to Improve Spare Moments. You cannot get up, la the world without making an effort, and that effort must be well directed. Make up your mind what you want to be and never glv up until you have ac complished it. Kven one hour a day wisely applied to study will not only give you a better education, but will raise you to a higher position In lite. Untold advancement la education has been made by the inauguration ot the correspondence system. Nowa days no one within reach ot a post olUce has any excuse for lacking a good education. Such edueetloa is now within the reach ot every young man and woman la the Pacific North west We give Instruction by mail a method of teaching which has proved abundantly satisfactory. Wit ness the responsible positions held by thousands of those who have ob tained a large part of their education by correspondence. We offer you a choice ot S3 studies .arranged la the following courses: Commercial (In cluding Bookkeeping. Stenography, etc.,) Mathematical, Historical. Eng lish and Scientific, and Ancient and Modern languages. Our field Is lim ited to the Pacific Coast thus enab ling us to give quick returns and the closest attention to the Individual stu dent For all information address Pacific Coast Correspondence Institute Portland, Oregon. lvlYe mt ewte. mm tttlm ssf. will mmt mppmmf mmut . Side Show Cosstp. "The Armless Wonder Is a cute one." "What's he been up to now?" "Sent a specimen ot his writing, done with his toes, to a woman ,who makes a business ot reading charac ter from handwriting. But she was cute, too. She wrote back that he must be left-handed. Philadelphia Bulletin. Mothers will And Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to use tor their children during the teething period. A Base Motive. Von Blumer I didn't come down to this hotel over Sunday to spend the night dancing or the day in playing golf, or the interval in talk ing to a lot of idiots. Mrs. Von Blumer (Indignantly) No; of course not! The only thins you care about is getting rested. Puck. SAVED BY A FRIEND One Woman Rescued From Death by Another. "If it had not been for one of my friends I would not be bere to tell the tale." These were the words of Miss Fran ces. Hathaway, of No. 410 Pine street, Kalamazoo, Mich., whose interview is published in the Holland, Mich., Times. "It is really remarkable that I did not lose my Jifo," she said. "When I was 16 years old was taken ill. I was pale and weak ami grew easily tired and tlio family doctor seemed unable to help me stall." "Didn't you try any other physi cians?" asked the newspaperman. "Yes, but they did not help me either. My parents tried various remedies and treatment but I only kept getting, worse. By the time I was 19 years old I was thin and blood less as a ghost." "What did the doctors call your disease?" inquired the reporter. "They said my blood had turned to water and I had anaemia. I felt dreadful. It was about this time that Miss Huntley advised me to try Dr. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People, as she had been cured of a somewhat similar trouble by their uso. I bought a box and before I had taken all the pills I found that they were doing me good. My appetite increased and the healthy color began to show in my cheeks and lips. I continued to use the pills until I had taken fifteen boxes when I found myself entirely cured." "Have you ever had any return of the trouble?" aeked the reporter. "No; never a bit. I cannot re member a time when I was as strong and healthy as now. I know that Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People saved my life and I believe that no other medicine could have done so." Anaemia is not the only disciuo which succumbs to the potent influ ence of Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. They are an unfailing specific - for such diseases as loco motor ataxia, partial paralysis, St. Vitus' dance, sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous headache, the after-effects of the grip, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complex ions and all forms of weakness either in male or female. They are sold by all druggists or direct from Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y. Price 60 cents per box; six boxes, $2.50. Postoffices and Population, At the close of the fiscal year of 1900 there were 76,688 postoffices In the United States, or one to every 1000 inhabitants. Just About Uncle Jason (at the seaside hotel) What's the difference between the American and European plans, John? Galey Oh! about the same differ ence as between embezzlement and robbery. Puck. , Too Much for Her. "Yes, Mrs. Bouncer wanted to send her daughter to Bryn Mawr, but she decided on Vassar." "What Influenced her decision?" "She couldn't pronounce Bryn Mawr." Philadelphia Bulletin. Turntaj the Tables. , Mrs. Newbrlde isn't at all satisfied with her husband's salary. No; she says it Isn't nearly so good as her father used to make. Boston Journal. FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES. 17T STAfl OF STARS STEEL t t i - "1 6 STAR VIIUQ MILL. L Ila bull (waring In tnrn.fsJil. Turns Iiwly lo tha wiuii. Kail In-aruiKS Utrimt in wl'wli limirlin Uehivst rututitt t)itKiUtt-s and rirvui (rvsiest amount of i.or Ut ntmlHS. lialvaivUi'tl ailvr Inaklnf, I'ul ligthr will! itlvnU,t tmtu. il..iiltMiutt.,l j U4 I'su ran mm or nt 1hum and raulv. Wflsht rvautaton I'itkhi n-itolfttlim. Nt rrlxa rltais tvnawm with vvrv olisnu wl ti'mtwrsloiv, ami (trow er wlltt all, hrpalrs alwars on Itntui. Tin iIiIiiks ara woilli innnrf to Ton. Then why not bur a START MITCHELL, LEWIS & STAVER CO. PORTLAND, ORCQOM. N. JT. 1. V. No. l-IV0t, WHKX wrltlnf u advertisers is smkUm this nape. ESTABLISHED ISTO. g. p. nuzmiEuu & sons. ItQ t cf 9t t Wmuktnmfm t, JVrti'a)), Or ova. Tho Leading and Hollattlo Fuprlarm of tha Horthwot rur'oi, C, Collritlt. lioas, H., Matt In all tl ylilonalii tura, l"ur TrtiumioiM. Utitirs and litiua. tmul fur L'aiuloaua. ItotitM and Pur remodeled and repaired. W'rlto us. Why Pay High Prices? For WATCH KS, WAMONI S an I JKWKI ItV alien yon can boy on redeemed plrdgfa fr Amount of Money Loaned with Interest at the Portland Loan Office, 'VViJa&o,,. Ntw Jewelry at 40 pr rem, lowar She IWI.vtd Kim. Wlgg--She Is very susceptible to flattery. Wagg I should say so. I once told her she was as sweet as honey, and would you believe It? the very next day she had hives. Philadel phia Record. - Polka Dot Rev:lllon " Bishop W. A. Chandler has been talking to the St. Louis southern Methodist ministers on the higher criticism and tho tendency to ritual ism In tho church. He deprecates special musical programmes and paid choirs and soloists. Tho higher crit icism , he declares. Insists on a "sort of polka dot revelation." FITS Fwnusnonll Ourert. ; HI or lrono after ft rM 1'. if t" hlm-'ilirr.i Nrv Rrt.r. Rod.) Ir P K K r. S J.00 tr ul I-.tlk. rl Ural- Is. Ds.K.11 uhs,ii..wi AM'Uxurmisorii.uia,r Accnrate Description, . "What kind of a cover la this on your umbrella?" said the inquisitive friend. "Well," answered the unblushing person, "Judging by the way It came into my possession, and the way It will probably depart, I should call it a changeable silk." Exchange. Pise's Cure for Consumption is an infal lible mrdicuie for rough and colds.- N. W. yMUsu Ocean Grove, N. J., Feb. 17, luoo. . . , ..... Starting. Out Fair. Archlo Say are you our new nurse? Nurse Yes, dear. Arcchie Well, I want to tell you now that I'm one of tho Uys that you will have to manage by kindness, so you'd better get some spongo cake and oranges right away. A Terrible Mistake. "Sir," said the Indignant customer to the proprietor, "I have a complaint to make. "What Is the trouble?" "I ordered Ice cream soda, sir, and when I stirred It up I found ice cream In It. Don't let It occur again, sir." Fatiguing. Mr. Pathlot This country has maintained a standing army for many, many years. Ills Wife Goodness sake, Henry! They ought to be dreadfully tired!" Ohio State Journal. 1 Echo of the Census. "So your name Is Paddy O'Nara. Are you skilled?" "Am I phwat?" "Are you up in your occupation?" "No. Oi'm down. Oi'm a coal min er, sor." Exchange. Italy's Woman Lawyer. Slgnorlna Teresa Labortoll is the first woman lawyer In Italy. She has passed her examination with honors, but, as she does not desire to advo cate the "new woman" she determin ed not to practice. Mis Answer. , "Pa," said Willie, looking up from his book, "What's the 'Spirit of '76,' anyway?" "SDlrlt of 78." his na replied. "I guess that's any twenty-five year old wnisKoy." muaaeipnia tress. Artificial Means. Elaine Did you notice the mean way that Smythe girl sneered at my new hat? Gladys Yes; but those sneers were only artificial means. Ohio Stute Journal. Contracted. "Oh, I don't know," remarked the optimist. "After all, you'll find the milk of human kindness." "Huh!" grunted the cynic. "What you do find Is usually the condensed variety." Philadelphia Press. Heard Nothing of the War. Sven Hedln, the explorer, reached Ctiarkhllk in the heart of China, last April, without hearing of the troubles in the eastern part of the empire. He found the Chinese polite and oblig ing. Summer Resolutions 'TAKE lHJt iieeley Cure Cnre relief fi om Honor, opium and tobooou habits. Band lor partloular to foslflV IlKtiflitn Moved to 490 Williams fcBBlBy inSlllUIB, Ave., Portland, Oregon. Bright Man Wanted. WANTED A bright yonng manor woman to represent us in each local ity. A good opportunity for steady andlucrativeemployment. Address, eJNION PUBLISHING CO., 10 LewU Bulldlnif , lth and Morrison St., . 1'OilTLAND, ORE JOHN P00L8, Portland, Oregon, i fool of Horrlsoa Strssb Can give yoa the beat bargains lit Ituu'ifies, Moan. Holler and Kniiiuo, Win. 'null and Puittni sni General Machinery. Hr ut before buying. SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. ...Columbia University. Academic and Collegiate Halls. cochsks -eu..il, Murary, iManillto aud t'mutniTolnl. for rUiinlnr apply to REV. E. P. MURPHY, PresldVnl, I'nirer.iljr I'ark, I'ortUutt, Orvfon. Ivi'iiii I'nti iTirn ismt linns. tlisu at any Jewelry Store In I'orMetid, Reckless. . . . First Bullfrog (swimming) I sea your husband enjoying a stroll on tha beach. Second Bullfrog (swimming wor rled) Yes; and it's right after din ner; whereas, he knows perfectly well he should never go out of the water until two hours after eating, Brooklyn Englo. Possession Is Everything, Ethel Oli ,mnmmn, It's awful hot here in the suu. Mother Well, why don't you move, KthHl 'Causo I got here first dear? Youfh Versus Aje. Mr. Boreum (dyspetlcally) My dear, I can taste thnt lemon pie that we had at dinner yesterday, tonight. Willie Boreum (longingly) Gee! I wish I could Boston Herald. An Important Point. "There Is no doubt that this scheme will pay." said the promoter. "Yes.", answered tho purchaser of the stork, I suppose so. But who Is to get the money?" Washington Star. Genuine Carter's Little Liver Pills. Must Bear Signature of Fac-Stmllo Wrapper ftalow. Tears' a as all aa4 aa easrf ta take assagsje. FC3 IEADACRCi ' F0I DIZZINESS FOR tiUOUSSESS. FGlTCSFia LIVER. ' FOR COXSTIPATIOST. FOR SALLOW SKIS. FORTHECOMPLEXlOa CARTERS ITTIC , PILLS. racsrajsrtK! CURE SICK HEADACHE. IN WET WPATHPD ' A WISE MAN WEARS S aw. OILED WATERPROOF CLOTHING ; HL KEEP YOU B2Y KKS ELSE r.HJ TAKE NO 3UB3TITUTe3 CATALOGUES We-I LOWING PULL UNE OP AKMtNT AND MATS A cJ.TOWER CO.. BOSTON. MA33 W tisvAn't a rosular. health, morflmnnt of ttut Dowels every dtty, you ro sick, or will be. Keep your bowels oien, ana be well. Furoe, In the .nape ot violent ihyalo or pill poison, Is dangerous. The nmooilioftt, imnlimt, most perfect way of keeping tbe bam tit oluitr and oleaa It to take .Pleasant, PalntaMe, Potent, Taste Oootl.DoOnoft. r"evnr HloKon, Weaken, or Orliie, loo, We. Write for free sample, and booklet oh health.' Address SUrllsi Bnswly empsey, CMos Statfml, Ira Isrk. SMS KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN ABSOLUTE SECURITY. if fm CANDY f -vyi CATHARTIC TwADI HARK RtOIBTII-fO -fT -l CUM I j Best Cot sl " " CUHtS WHLlih AIL H it 1411 S. H. j Best Cough byritp. Taatus Good. IT S3 ,1 in time, noin ny dniiwutn.